


Dark Hunters

by DeborahWhite, Dgray3994



Series: The Dark Hunters Series [1]
Category: Supernatural, Supernatural Novels - Various, Supernatural: Bloodlines
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Dark Hunters - Freeform, Demon Summoning, Demonic Possession, Demons, F/M, Ghosts, Hunter Dean, Hunter Sam, Nightmares, Road Trips, Supernatural Elements, Vampire Hunters, Vampires, What-If, Women of Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-09-27 21:32:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 66
Words: 309,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10051526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeborahWhite/pseuds/DeborahWhite, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dgray3994/pseuds/Dgray3994
Summary: It was supposed to be a roadtrip, a way to slip out of the every day grind, but it certainly wasn't supposed to be THIS.  It all started with the half-way point in my trip to Oklahoma, a little Waffle House dinner before bed and a cramped little out of the way hotel room but what it turned into was something that was never supposed to be.  Imagine looking down the row of booths to see the REAL Sam and Dean Winchester, harder, darker and more of a threat than the people around you, what would you do next? I thought that would be an easy answer, until Sam came flying through my window and the roadtrip got just a bit more interesting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this story is actually based around a trip I'm taking in April. I'm headed to Oklahoma, and pretty much every stop in it, will be a stop that I'm making, so enjoy, let your imagination run wild and enjoy the Dark Hunters on this Highway to Hell. As always, any errors in here are mine, and please feel free to leave a review, good or bad, you know the drill.

Dark Hunters

Chapter 1

None of this was supposed to happen this way. Well, I mean, some of it was supposed to happen, like the trip itself, but everything else.  Yeah, that wasn’t supposed to happen AT ALL.

Okay, let me start this over from the beginning, simple enough, right?  I just introduce myself and the reason for this adventure, or maybe I should put misadventure, because yeah, not supposed to happen.

My name is Ali Porter, I’m a mother of three beautiful teenagers and THIS is supposed to be my vacation. The first time in years that I’ve been able to make some sort of trip without them, not that I would ever not want to take them places, but this was going to be one for the record books.  The first time I was meeting a friend, Danni Danvers, in person, the first trip to Oklahoma, and the very first 22 hour road trip that I was taking alone.

See, right there you’re probably thinking that I just pulled the dumbest stunt in the world because what woman with three teenagers take that long of a road trip alone.  One that is usually well prepared for everything, including what might happen next. I always had a contingency plan, some way to get around any little potholes in the road, but this…this was totally unexpected. So, now you know about me, all five foot nothing, 120 pounds of me, at least for the most part, but the rest of knowing me will come later. 

Onto the real story.

8:43 pm, somewhere in the vicinity of West Jefferson, Ohio, about 733 miles away from my destination, and twelve hours into the trip.  I had stopped for the night, gotten a hotel room at the local Holiday Inn Express, and made my way over to the Waffle House restaurant for something to eat, not exactly the place that I thought this “Vacation” would start to go wonky but things have happened in stranger places.

I sat down in a booth, made myself comfortable and ordered a coffee, while I grabbed my phone and decided that I was going to give everyone an update.  Mom, Danni (my Oklahoma Sister who I was on my way to meet), my kids and Kathy (my Massachusetts sister who happened to have my kids).  With everyone up-to-date and a nice cup of Joe in front of me, I chanced a look around. At this time of night there wasn’t many people with kids, in fact there weren’t any children in the building what-so-ever, not odd but definitely something that caught my attention.  Stored that information for later as I continued to look around. 

There were several men at the bar, truckers from what I could gather, since there were just as many there as there were rigs outside.  There were a few couples, probably two of them, mainly just chatting away happily and then there were the two guys in the back of the place.  One dressed in a dark suit, with wispy, unruly hair brown hair sat with his back to me, his laptop open on the table, and that was all that I could see from where I sat in my own little corner booth. 

Other man at the table was facing me head on and while he looked at bit beaten down, there was definitely fire in his green eyes with his scruffy look about him. He needed a good shave, some sleep and to lay off the sauce, which was probably why he was pounding down the coffees.

I couldn’t help but feel some familiarity towards him as I watched.  His hair, dirty blond to brown, whichever way the light decided to reflect off from it, was shaved not too close to his head, but the top seemed to stick out and up, giving him a wild look about him. 

His clothes were normal, a dark tee-shirt under an open solid flannel, something else that struck me as familiar, but he had a black bracelet around his wrist, one that caught my eyes as well. I was curious about this one.  He had a youthfulness to his face that seemed to throw me off his age, but as he let out a deep breath, turned to look out the window and raised his cup up to his lips, I could see the bruises along his jawline.  This one had been in a fight, and pretty recently.

He turned to look back at the one across from him, but caught my eyes as he shut whatever he was about to say behind closed lips.  His eyes connected with mine, stared for a moment, as the corner of his lip turned up and instantly I could feel the blush rise in my cheeks. I cleared my throat and looked up at the waitress who had arrived just in time to save my ass.

With a glance back at the man down the row, I ordered a stack of pancakes and some bacon, all the while watching as he never seemed to let go of the hold he had on me.  It was a weird, creepy feeling but I know something was up.  Dammit, hello woman alone on a trip, this was not the attention I needed.

I turned in my seat, placing my back towards the windows, rolled my jacket up as padding, and pulled my legs up on the cushion and tried my damnedest to concentrate on the small tablet I had brought in with me.  I picked at the food that was set down on the table, relished the cup of coffee that the waitress kept hot and filled but nothing seemed to distract me from the man who was staring me down. 

The one with his back to me finally turned, trying to figure out what his partner was so distracted with and I found myself staring at this one too.  His face was unique, definitely held qualities that I recognized from somewhere, and his ever changing eyes matched the vibrant mix of emotions that could be clearly seen on his face, emotions that told me one specific thing.  I had just butted into a shit-storm waiting to happen.

Trying my best to keep myself occupied as I finished up what I was eating, and also hatch a plan that would give me the best way to get back to the hotel without being seen, I searched through my browser to find the fastest route, and it kept me from looking up and catching the eyes that I could feel on me.

I watched as they stood, both at the same time, the one in the suit grabbed the laptop, the one with the green eyes dropped a couple bills on the table and I realized just how tall both of them were.  Six foot plus on both of them, but it was weird to see the one who had his back to me.  He looked down as he collected his coat, his eyes glancing sideways in my direction, and I watched an apologetic smile cross his lips, which was weird because I was the one caught staring.

His partner seemed to have no inhibition about locking eye contact and as they headed out the door, the green eyed one gave me a very well placed grin that told me if he had his way I would be going home with him.  I narrowed my eyes, and watched that grin turn into a wide smile, as if he had met his match and slowly he stepped out the door.

I turned in the seat, looked down at the rest of my dinner/breakfast and sighed, but that was when I heard it, the familiar sound of a car starting up.  The rumble was low, but the tone was just this side of “what the hell” because I should have been able to recognize it anywhere.  I slid closer to the window, just enough so that I could see the headlights of the 1967 black Impala light up the front of the diner.

My eyes wide as the green-eyed one backed her out of the parking spot and turned it in my direction.  I sat back in the seat but still watched as the car turned and his partner stared up at me through the window as they passed by.

NO…WAY…IN…HELL was I actually seeing what I thought I was!  There was no way!  Not two men, not both over six foot, not both looking exactly like I would have imagined them in real life, and certainly not driving a damned IMPALA!  Did I just step into the Twilight Zone, because I was pretty sure it was either that or someone seriously roofied my coffee.

I pulled out the phone, pulling the same stunt that the green-eyed one did by putting the bills down on the table as I slipped on my jacket.  With a quick pace, I grabbed my tablet, felt for the hotel keys in my pocket and hustled my ass back to the room, which was less than a two minute walk to the hotel.  The phone rang against my ear as I held it with my shoulder and messed with the key, but that was when I saw it and I stopped.  Key in one hand, phone suddenly propped up in the other.

That freaking IMPALA was parked three spaces down from me.  The door opened to a room not all that far way and I watched as the taller of the two, the one who had been in the suit stepped out, now in a tightfitting tee and jeans.  He stopped under the light and counted the bills in his hands, his hair came down and masked his eyes, even as I made out the profile of his face.

I was dumbstruck! I mean I was literally standing there with my mouth open, keys in one hand and the forgotten phone call in the other, until of course, Danni yelled in my ear, which caused me to drop the keys, squeak in surprise and catch HIS attention.

He turned towards me and I tucked my head down, trying to fumble with the key again, but I noticed the broad shape of his chest, the strength of his arms and the way he filled out that shirt and those blue jeans nicely.  He titled his head just a little as I finally was able to open the door and I watched his brow crease but a smile play on his lips, as I gave him a quick grin back and disappeared into the darkness of my room, closing the door tightly behind me.

“Are you okay?”  Danni asked for maybe the twentieth time.  I leaned my back against the door but peaked out the curtain as the man stood by the soda machine, one arm out bracing himself as he looked over his choices.

“Um, I don’t think so!”  I wanted to laugh because this was INSANE and not even just a little.

“What? What’s going on? Are you okay, are you safe?”  Danni rattled of as I watched the man slip the bills into the machine.  How the hell was that so damn sexy? And why the hell was I caring.  I moved away from the wall, setting the keys down on the table as I went and made sure that my room was set, the large knife was tucked under my bed and the pocket knife I cared was on the night stand.

“I’m fine, but I’m stuck in an episode of…of…I don’t even know what the hell of!”  I snapped and moved quietly back towards the window as I heard the door close.  “Dan, I swear to God, I just saw Sam and Dean.”

“Okay, what the hell are you smoking?”  She laughed, because who wouldn’t when your friend tells you that you’ve just spotted the characters in your favorite show, not the actors that portray them, but the CHARACTERS!

I ran my hand through my hair, switched on the light by the table and sat down.  There was no real way to explain it, no true way to actually get the words out of my mouth, so I just sighed. Maybe it had been just a coincidence, maybe I had really just imagined that the men in the room looked like Sam and Dean Winchester, but that car, I knew that car anywhere.

“You need to go to sleep, you’ve been on the road all day, just go to bed and I’ll see you tomorrow.”  Danni sighed.

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.”  I whispered back and let my eyes close as I slouched down in the chair.  I really did need to get some sleep, another ten hours on the road for tomorrow and I was already dead tired.  “I’m gonna grab a shower and then I’ll head to bed.”

“Make sure you do that.”  She sighed and I smiled as she disconnected the call. 

With one last look out the window, and no one out there but that car, I made my way over to the bag, grabbed my night stuff and headed towards the bathroom.  That was when I heard it, the slight knock at the door.  I paused, listened to it come again, and cleared my throat.

“Just a minute,” I answered.

STUPID! STUPID IDEA!

Tucked up under the mattress was a small spectrum blade about seven inches long and with it placed up tight in my hand, hiding against my back, I braced my foot against the door, peaked out he hole and did a double take. The taller one was standing outside looking antsy as hell, but he reached out and knocked again.

I unbolted the door and opened it slowly, but the lock caught and gave me only about two inches to see him, even with the knife in a ready position.

“Hey,” he said with a soft voice and a sly smile, “I’m sorry to bother you, but my brother and I saw you at the diner.”

“Yeah, I remember.”  I replied, curious as to what he was getting at.

“You know you have a headlight out, right?” He smiled and I watched his whole body ease, which in turn made me relax just a bit.

“Oh,” I sighed and ran a hand nervously through my hair, pushing it back from my eyes.  “Um, thanks, I guess I’ll have to take care of it in the morning.” I nodded and watched as he smiled shyly again, nodded and waved as he left my door.  Quickly, I closed and locked it behind me, flipping the handle of the knife in my hand as I tucked it back between the mattress and headed for the bathroom. “Headlight, yeah, okay!”

~~~~~

It couldn’t have been more than three hours later, somewhere just past one that the loud sound of a door slamming woke me from a broken sleep. I adjusted to the strange position on the bed, and looked around my dark room, the only light coming from the light outside the door.

I blinked a few times, trying to figure out just what was going on and that was when I heard it again, the loud thump of a door, or something against the walls. But the slam against my own was what really had me on my feet, with the spectrum blade pulled from the confines of the mattress. I was at the window before I knew what I was doing.

I could almost see out into the darkness as the light above my door suddenly began to flicker and something flew through the glass panel window.  I ducked, covered what I could of my bare arms, yeah, so glad I decided to wear the pants to bed instead of getting “house” comfortable but I could still feel the shards hit my skin.

What the hell was that?

I could hear the grunting of a person, a real person, and I looked over to see the taller of the two from down the hall lying on the floor in my room. In his hand was a large knife, but it was the blood that seeped through his shirt that had me scurrying over.  He looked up at me in pain, but pressed his hand to his side and rolled over.

“You shouldn’t move.”  I snapped and watched his eyes stare at me, but that was when I noticed he was staring PAST me. He grabbed me by the shirt, his large hands nearly ripping me down and he rolled over me as he swung the blade.

I stared up at him as he got to his knees, his blade buried deep into the stomach of the man... creature… whatever the hell it was that was bearing its huge fangs at my “hero”. But I could see his strength was giving out and not quite sure what I was thinking, I jumped to my feet and swung.

My knife cut deep but not deep enough as the creature lashed out, scratching across my arm and then I watched the smile disappear from its face as the blade from behind came sailing through, detaching its head from its shoulders.

I looked down at the man before me, watched him slip his knife back out of the monster’s abdomen and then my eyes moved up to the green-eyed one who stood breathlessly holding another bloody machete as they body dropped to the floor.

I reached down, dropping the knife, and placed both hands on the man in front of me as he went to brace himself up with one arm, and the other pressed against the wound.

“Sammy?”  My eyes snapped up at the man who was standing. NO FREAKING WAY! That was it, instinct kicked in and I went on autopilot, knelling down before him.

“Sam?”  I questioned, getting his blue-green eyes to focus on me. “You need to lay back, okay?  Let me check this out.”  He leaned back on his heels but moved to shuffle over to brace against the bed.  “No, hon, you have to lie down.”

He groaned at me, reached out and snatched my wrist, looking over the red scratches that marred my skin.

“You’re bleeding,” he whispered and his voice sang in my ears.

“Yeah,” I said and smiled, pushing his hair back as I gave his shoulder a nudge, watching him make his way down to the spot on the carpet that wasn’t cover in glass, “how about that?”

“You swung,” he said, full of surprise.

“Reaction, that’s all. Now lay still.”  I lifted his shirt and watched the blood seep from the wound, not deep but definitely in need of stitches. “Okay, hot stuff, just wait here.”

I stood, and turned to the other man in the room, giving a stare as if to ask if I really needed to tell him what to do before I walked towards the bathroom.  I shook my head when I heard “Sam” call the green-eyed one “Dean”.  There was no way in hell that this was happening.

I grabbed the towels, both the hand and the scrawny bath one and walked out towards them.  Dean watched me, as I placed the smaller of the two, folded in half, against Sam’s wound, then took Dean’s hand and pressed it down on top, all the while neither of them took their eyes off me.  Finding the pocket knife on my night stand, I made strips from the long flimsy material that resembled a towel before I spotted my blade.

How was I going to explain this one? 

Still on autopilot, I made my way to Sam and with little effort on my part, small hands and a good grip, I was able to tie the strips around him to keep the pressure on before I looked up at Dean.

“You need to get him to a hospital, he’s gonna need stitches.” 

But Dean shook his head. “Can’t do that.”  His voice was gruff and deep compared to Sam’s and I shook my head. I should have known that would be the answer. “And we can’t leave you.”

“Dean, right?”  I asked and watched for that little bit of acknowledgement.  “I have to be in Joplin in about sixteen hours, so I’m not staying here.”

“No,” he said, taking my arm as I stood.  He came with me, to tower over me by a little more than a foot.  “I don’t think you understand. Your blood is all over this place. They know your scent now.”

“Vampires?”  I snapped and watched him look at me in total confusion before looking at the equal shock on Sam’s face as the other man made it up onto the bed.  “Yeah, I know how they work.”

“Wait? What do you mean you know?”  Dean growled, not an unusual sound as I made my way over, picked up my knife and wiped it with what was left of the towel. “How come you’re not freaking out? You’re not a hunter, what exactly do you know about vampires?”

“Oh, I’m freaking out all right but Sam getting medical attention is more of an issue for me right now.”  I replied, grabbed my bag and pulled out a tee-shirt from it, a black one to hide the blood. Not a care in the world, I turned my back to him, stripped off the blood-soaked tee and pulled on the new one.  When I turned back the shock on Dean’s face was priceless. “As for the vampires, long story, but I have to go.”

“You can’t.” Dean said and watched as I packed everything in the rom.  Yeah, freak out was about to happen if I had to stay in the room with the decapitated corpse any longer.  Once everything was thrown in the bag, I grabbed my keys but Dean took my arm, the one that was still bleeding but numb. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you go.”

“Get him to a hospital!” I snapped, snatching my arm away as I looked at the fear growing in Sam’s eyes. “And don’t tell me you can’t.”

“Listen, lady.” Dean sighed.

“Vampires, scent, I get it but this is your deal, not mine.” Why the hell was I arguing with him?  I looked over at Sam one last time, trying to get over the fact that he looked so much like the one I knew but so much harder at the same time. “I’m sorry.”

I left the room, Dean hot on my heels as Sam made his way to the door. Once at the little rented compact, I threw my back in the backseat and looked at the amount of destruction along the row of rooms.  Yep, typical Sam and Dean, but it was the hand on my shoulder that made me look up again and into those intense green eyes.

“We’ll follow you,” He argued and I watched Sam make it to the Impala before landing hard in the seat. “You don’t realize the danger you’re in.”

“OH, I’m sure I get it, loud and clear.”  But the thought of them following me, of Sam bleeding out because of the shared illusion that I needed to be saved had me shaking my head.  “Fine, get me some place safe, warm and close by so I can take care of him.”

“You said he needed stitches.”  Dean repeated.

“Yeah, ask me how I know that.”  I rolled my eyes and got in the car.  I could almost feel the breakdown coming as Dean finally got the point, gathered everything he could from both rooms and pulled out towards the road with the Impala.

“Danni,” I thought out loud, “you’re never going to believe this.”

With a sigh, and some shaking, I followed those taillights into the night, headed the same way I might have been going in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuck between a rock and a hard place, with one Winchester in some desperate need of medical attention and one who won't let me out of his sight, the evening decides to go just as you think it might. Lots of questions, not so many answers, especially about the part of who exactly I am and how exactly are there two Winchesters now intertwined on my journey. Things get even more tense when the whereabouts of a certain angel are brought up AND I still have to explain my predicament to Danni. Oh, this should be real fun.

Chapter 2

I had just enough time on the road to let myself freak out enough so that when we did stop, which apparently meant taking a sudden right off the interstate into the parking lot of a vaguely shady roadside motel to Dean, I had gathered enough of the part of me that could think clearly. 

I hadn’t called Danni, which was probably the stupidest thing for me to have avoided because it was nearly three in the morning. I had sent out a text that I was moving to another place and once the car make a complete stop next to the impala, I shot out the name of it to her.

Dean ran in, grabbed a set of keys, or whatever it was that he was doing as I watched Sam struggle to get out of the car.  Rolling my eyes, because yes, this was exactly how I needed my vacation to start, I swung into action and helped him maneuver his way out around the door.  The fact that he stood taller than Dean never seemed to faze me, until I had to look up at him, and noticed how pale he had become.

Dean opened the door and flipped on the light as Sam made his way to the bed.  I ran back out to the car, grabbed the first aid kit that I had put together and stepped inside just as Dean was placing the whiskey bottle on the nightstand.  I watched for a moment as he dug out a pair of pliers, some thread and a needle, also placing them on the side of the table while Sam lay back on the mattress.

“What the hell are you doing with that stuff?”  I questioned as I watched Dean go for the knot in the towel.

“You’re going to stitch him up, this is what I got.”  He replied and looked down at me. 

Grumbling under my breath, I emptied my own out and grabbed the three packs of sutures that I had stuffed away.  There was a small bottle of peroxide, some scissors, a pair or two of gloves and some butterfly bandages that I dumped out before looking up at him.

“Whiskey is good for sterilizing but you’ll kill your skin and damage nerves if you pour that crap on a wound.”  I looked around, grabbed the motel pad and scribbled down a list of things before shoving it against Dean’s chest. “We passed a local Walmart, said 24 hours on the sign, I need this stuff.”

“Silk thread?  Where the hell am I supposed to get silk thread?”  Dean snapped as he stepped back and watched me move around Sam, which meant another trip into the bathroom for towels and the trash bag that lay in the ice bucket.

“The craft aisle.”  I replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Lady, do I look crafty to you?”  As much as I found the deep voice sexy as hell, the name was getting on my nerves.

“Ali!”  I retorted, running a hand through my hair, “my name is Ali and if you can’t find the thread, it’s not an issue, but I need the rest of it, Dean, I really do.”

“Fine… Ali,” he said my name with a bit of a sarcastic twist as I looked up from where I was trying to gently tuck the plastic under Sam, who was now laying close to the right side of the bed.  “What the hell is a French Vanilla three-and-three?”

“A coffee, dumbass!”  Sam grumbled and both of us looked up to see his eyes barely opened but a smile played on his lips.  “Just get the stuff, Dean.”

“You know what,” Dean sassed, and pointed at his brother, “I’ll play this time, you know, patsy, but next time, I get to stay with the hot chick and you can go to get the thread.”

Hot Chick? Really? 

And with that, Dean was out the door.  Sam looked over at me as I carefully removed the pressure from the towel, my fingers brushing against his side as I worked on the knot.

“He’s not usually that much of an ass, he just hates it when I get hurt.” I smiled at him as I worked around the cut.  The bleeding had stopped for the most part, but I knew as soon as I poured that peroxide it was going to get messy.

“Yeah, you gotta love family.”  I mumbled as I let out a breath and felt his fingers touching my cheek. My eyes flickered over towards his, catching him a dazed stare before I went back to my task.  “I’m sure you guys have something for the pain other than whiskey, right?  Because this isn’t going to be pleasant.”

“In my bag, there’s a bottle of pills,” Sam’s voice was softer than Dean’s, but I wasn’t sure why it surprised me, even when I watched the show it was the same way.  For a second, I sat back.  Yeah, the show, the names, the monsters, how the hell was I going to explain any of it to them?  I cleared my throat and moved for his bag, finding the bottle tucked into the inner pocket. 

“How strong are these?”  I questioned looking at the unlabeled container. “ _What_ are these?”

“Vicodin.” Sam replied as I walked over with a bottle of water I had pulled from my bag and two of the pills.  He sat up a little bit, swallowed down the pain killers, and rested back on the bed. His eyes stayed locked on me as I moved around.  “Hey, why don’t you take care of that arm while you’re waiting?”

“Quit being so bossy!” I smiled, and watched him grin the best he could, taking that little hard edge off his face. “When those meds kick in and Dean gets back, I’m going to start patching you up. You’re not going to take a swing at me, are you?”

Sam’s eyes drooped down, as he shook his head, and I watched the medication take hold.  Wondering just how long it had been since he had last eaten, my thoughts went to what the effects of the pain meds might do to his stomach, or whether or not he would get sick. 

With a deep breath in, I watched his expression slack and I knew that he had stopped fighting the drugs. At least now he would be comfortable for just a little while.  Biting down on my lip, I grabbed the peroxide, and the bandages and headed for the bathroom.

It took a while for me to work up the nerve to prepare for the feeling of pour the clear liquid over my arm from the brown bottle.  I had done it before and I knew the sting, but with Sam out like a light, I pondered just rinsing and wrapping it, but the scratches looked angry and infected already and if I wanted to keep my arm there was no way I could chance it.

I rinsed off as much of the blood as I could get to, even letting it sit under the water for a little as I bit back the pain and tried to use a towel to remove any of the crust and dirt that had managed to get in, since I hadn’t covered it at all.

I unscrewed the cap, pulled off the white tab and rested my arm over the sink.  With a deep breath in, I began to coat the hell out of the scratches, but my eyes began to blur from the pain as it bubbled around me.

“Son of a bitch!” I growled, trying to steady my feet as I felt my knees go weak.

“Hey, hey,” Dean’s voice seemed to penetrate my ears as my eyes fogged over with impending darkness. His arm wrapped around my waist as he took the bottle from my hand and supported my weight against his chest. “Easy there, wild child, no need to put yourself on the floor.”

“Thanks, Dean,” I whispered as he gave me a moment to set myself straight, but as I reached a shaking hand to the bottle, he moved it out of reach, leaning down close to my ear. 

“No way,” he said with a little bit of a smile in his voice. “I need you to have a clear head and steady hands when you stitch up my baby brother, so, let me do this.”

“You really think I should trust you to pour that crap over my arm without letting me go?”  I grumbled and felt his arm around my waist grow tighter.

“No worries, Sweetheart, I’m not going to let you fall.”  I turned my head and watched as his hand came over.  It was as if I were seeing it through a camera, not really watching the peroxide leak out, at least not until it hit the skin and I felt myself tighten, my free hand slapped down against the solid muscle of his forearm as I wrapped my fingers around it.  “Easy… easy.”

I let my body relax against him, allowed my mind to trust that he wasn’t going to just let me go and I would hit the floor, but the strange feeling of resting my head back against his chest made me a little more aware of the situation. 

I was standing in the bathroom with Dean Freaking Winchester!

He eased me down to the toilet seat, letting me go only when he knew I had my baring and I watched as he crouched down in front of me.  It was then that I noticed the scar on his cheek, not too deep, not red or raised but there, a light white mark, all the same.  This was the only difference between the one I knew and the one before me, otherwise they were nearly identical.

He patted my arm dry and began to apply the bandages, helping to close up the tears in my skin and his eyes popped up towards mine.

“So, why were you at the hotel alone in the first place?”  His voice was soft, not as gruff and aggravated as it had been, and I felt myself swallow.  Even in this odd, crazy, mix-up situation, that voice did the same thing Sam’s did, turned me inside out.  I cleared my throat and watched the way his fingers moved against my arm.

“I’m on a road trip to meet up with a friend.  Didn’t really see the harm in driving from home to Oklahoma.” I shrugged and watched him place the last bandage on.  He gave me one of his grins, the one that asked the silent question of “what the hell do you think now?” but I chose to ignore it as I stood and moved by him into the room.

There on the table was the bag full of stuff and a coffee.  More awake than I had been in hours, I let the coffee sit as I grabbed the stuff I needed to start working on Sam, but as I knelt beside the bed and lifted his brother’s shirt, I could feel Dean’s presence on the second bed behind me.

“Okay, so can you explain to me the whole vampire thing?”  He asked and watched as I glanced back at him, before setting out the supplies. I let out a sigh and shook my head.  “Is that a no, you’re not going to tell me, or no, I wouldn’t believe you anyway?”

“It’s a now is not a good time.” I answered and prepared the needle, first by pouring the whiskey over the tip as I held it over the cup.

I put on the gloves, grabbed one of the packages of sutures that I had brought along and set it out on the plastic bag, hoping that everything would stay sterile enough as I grabbed the Betadine swabs and cleaned around the wound. Dean watched intensely as I made my way along the line of Sam’s side, moving from one precise stitch to the next without so much of as a blink, except in between packages.  I didn’t think I would have enough but it turned out I didn’t need the thread or the extra needle at all.

Seventy-two stitches later and Sam was pretty solid.  He hadn’t even made a move during the time I had been working, but as I applied the ointment and the gauze to the spot, I felt him shift.  He didn’t move again until the tape was secure and I stood up, collecting the stuff from the bed.

Dean, who had been quiet the whole time, grabbed the whiskey bottle and moved towards the table.  I knew he was watching me, I could feel it in every fiber of my being, but I didn’t care because there wasn’t anything he could do or say that might have changed any of the facts.

“Where’d you learn how to do all of that?”  He questioned, his eyes narrowing as I made sure Sam was comfortable and all the bloody towels were stuffed into the trash bag.  I stopped and met his glare before raising my eyebrow and giving him a shrug.

“EMT, and medical assistant.” I replied before moving towards Sam with the scissors, this got Dean off his seat.

“What are you doing?”  I smiled as he stood on the opposite side of the bed, his hands clenched in fists as if he were threatening me, but I just gestured down to the wet shirt that Sam wore.

“I’m going to cut it off from him because I don’t need him to be rolled around while we try to get it over his head.”  I answered and watched those hands relax.  “He can’t sit there in a wet shirt.”

He made some noises under his breath as he looked around the room and then left me to it, moving back to the whiskey bottle. The fabric was pretty easy to get through and before I knew it I was staring at the bare chest of the man in front of me. Complete with an anti-possession tattoo above Sam’s heart.  My fingers betrayed my thoughts as I reached down and ran the pads of them over his skin, warm from the fight that was going on inside him. I stayed too long in one spot, as I noticed the small scars along his ribs and traced them as well.

The sound of Dean clearing his throat made me snap my hand back and look up at him.  “You done molesting my brother?”

“Can I ask you a really weird question?”  I replied as I slipped the shirt into the bag along with the towels, before pulling the comforter from the other bed.  Dean raised one eyebrow in my direction, gave a smart ass grin and nodded.  “What do you know about angels?”

I watched the surprise on his face as he sat back in the chair. His lips moved to form words but I wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to say what was on his mind. The hurt in his eyes told me a lot but the words that came out of his mouth told me so much more.

“Just a myth.” Yeah, so not, but I’d let him go with that.

“With all the angel lore around, you think they’re just myths?”  I sat down on the edge of the dresser and watched his expression as he took a swig of the amber liquid and nodded. “Funny,” I shrugged and looked over at Sam, “I thought only unicorns didn’t exist.”

This made Dean’s eyes snap up at me and I titled my head a little, just to see what kind of reaction I got.

“Okay,” he went completely serious, and put the bottle down.  I watched as he stood and stepped closer, close enough that he was standing between my legs and I had nowhere to go but look up at him. “Who are you, really?”

“Ali,” I shrugged and reached for the coffee beside me. His hand went to my wrist, the one without the bandage and I let him wrap his fingers around it, my eyes watching as he did so.  “Listen, Dean, you can try to intimidate me all you want but I’ve seen too much crap to think that you would actually hurt me.”

“Oh, really, and what kind of crap would that be?”  His voice dropped an octave, as if he were really getting into it and my eyes latched onto his. I placed free hand against his chest and gave him a little push backwards.  He moved, he didn’t hold his ground, and when he noticed what he had done, that he had given up his advantage, he released my arm. 

“See, not going to hurt me.”  I shrugged and listened to him sigh.  With a look of anger, he let out a breath and went back to the chair, leaving me sitting alone on the counter with the coffee, already cold, tucked in my hands.  “Angels aren’t just myths.”

“What would you know?” He questioned, staring at Sam as he picked the bottle up again.

“Faith, maybe,” I sighed and also looked at Sam with a grin. “I knew an angel once,” I lied, but I needed to know how far this would go, how far the real Sam and Dean had gotten.

“You knew an angel?” He grinned in disbelief.

“Yeah,” I looked at him, stared him straight in the eyes as I pulled the biggest lie out of my ass, “his name was Castiel.” And BOOM! There is was.  Dean’s face went pale for a second and his eyes fell towards the floor, there was pain in his expression and I shook my head.  “He called himself the Angel of Thursday,” I let out a breath that was a half-laugh, “didn’t understand a damn thing about pop culture references and thought that everything he did turned out wrong.”

“Maybe it did.”  Dean growled and stood from the table.

“So, why didn’t you let him heal that scar on your face?”  I questioned, and it didn’t mean to come out but there it was.  Dean came at me once again, blocking me in.  So, even Cas was real in this little trip down “Supernatural” scary lane.

“He wasn’t around when I got it.” Dean snarled through clenched teeth, and he backed off once more.

“What happened to him?”  I whispered, my eyes on my coffee as I heard him take a seat again, this time bringing his feet up to the table with a thump.

“Things,” was all he answered and I chanced a peak at him.  Dean brought the bottle to his lips and his eyes stared blankly out the window.  I sighed, hopped down from the dresser and grabbed my car keys.  On my way by, I placed my hand on Dean’s shoulder and lowered my lips close to his ear. 

“I’m sorry.”  I spoke softly before giving him a gentle rub and headed out side. I pulled my cell from my pocket as it vibrated, just as I slipped the key into the door of the car. I glanced around, then down at the screen as I finally was able to pull the door open and grab my bag.  “Danni? It’s like five in the morning, why are you awake?”

“You sound pretty awake yourself, are you alright?”  The worried voice on the line snapped back.

I looked around the darkness and debated on what to tell her.  “Honestly, I don’t know.”

“What’s wrong? Never mind, where are you? I’m coming out to meet you.”  I smiled at the woman even though she couldn’t see me.  Ever the older sister, I could hear her almost swearing under her breath for letting me do this on my own.

“Danni, wait, calm down,” I put the bag on the hood of the car and turned my back to lean against it, pulling the flannel I managed to yank out of my bag on to have some protection against the brisk morning air. “So, this is going to sound all sorts of really weird, but there was an incident at the last hotel.”

“An incident?  What the hell kind of incident?”

“The…” I swallowed because this was seriously going to sound really screwed up, “the Sam and Dean Winchester kind.”

“What?”  There was a long pause between her breaths and then I heard her sigh. “Like bar guy turns into a werewolf kind of Sam and Dean?”

“Try Sam comes flying through my window with a vamp after him kind of Sam and Dean.”  I answered and squeezed my eyes tightly waiting for the lash-out. The problem with this whole conversation wasn’t that the content of the show was being discussed as if it were real life, the problem was that it WAS real life and how the hell was I going to explain that to her.  

“Excuse me, what?”

I rubbed my forehead and crossed my arm over my chest.  “Are you sitting down, because this is going to be one hell of a story?”

“Oh, I’m thinking I’m going to need something more than to just sit for this.”  Danni sighed and I could heard the cabinets opening.  “Nothing says good morning like Baileys and Winchesters.”

“Seriously?  It’s five in the morning!”  I smiled and listened to her hum as she spiked her coffee. 

“Okay,” she said after a moment of needed silence.  “Lay it on me.”

She listened with quiet intent as I spilled everything that had happened since 8:43 pm, everything down to the last sentence I had uttered to Dean as I left the building. When it was done, I was sitting on the ground near the tire of the car, my whole body shook as I relived every moment from the time I stepped into the Waffle House to the moment my mouth closed. 

This was my freak out, this was my moment of weakness and I found myself sniffling back the tears.  What the hell had I just done? I had almost cut the head of a vampire, went on the run with two men I didn’t know but knew intimately and done a patchwork job on someone that could very well be the real Sam Winchester.

Danni took a deep breath in and slowly let it out over the speaker as I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand.  Yeah, freak out complete, at least for now and I let my head drop back to the red panel on the car.

“Holy shit!”  She said softly, as if she were still taking it in, and I was pretty sure she had refilled that coffee cup at least a few times during the time it took me to get it all out.  The door opened to the room and I watched as Dean stood there, his arms crossed as he leaned against the frame staring at me.  “So what now?”

“What now is we move on with the plan, just a little bit later,” I sighed and pulled my knees up to rest my arms on them.  “I need to check on Sam, I need to get a few hours sleep and then we meet in Joplin, just like we talked about.”  Dean stepped closer, grabbing my bag from the hood of the car and I turned towards him once more, watching as he nodded, gesturing for me to come in, as he reached out a hand.  “I’ll be safe, Danni, I swear.”

“Yeah, you make sure you are, and if you don’t, you can tell those boys that there’s no way in hell they’re getting away that easy.”  She had just a touch of anger in her smiling voice and Dean’s expression grew hard, but it softened as I slipped my hand into his and he pulled me up from the ground.  I turned the phone off speaker and put it to my ear.  “Love you sis.”

“Love you too.”  I smiled, letting myself be pulled along by the man in front of me.  I was too tired to fight, too tired to care exactly where I might be sleeping but I knew one thing, Sam was way too out of it to try anything and Dean, well, I think we had established an understanding.  “Talk to you soon.”

“Talk soon.”  She answered. The line went dead just as Dean dropped my hand and I closed the door behind me. 

He didn’t say anything, just sat on the edge of the second bed and removed his boots as I stopped beside his brother and lifted the blankets.  Sam hadn’t moved much, at least he hadn’t twisted around but one arm was across his stomach and the other one was now above his head.  His lips were slightly parted, and his breathing relatively even which told me he wasn’t in pain, or if he was, he was sleeping right through it.

The bandage was solid, no blood seeped through and slowly I lowered it, letting my fingers drift over Sam’s bare lower arm before I turned and looked at Dean.  The man was sitting with his back to me on the furthest side of the double bed, but the way he looked at me over his shoulder was definitely an expression of uncertainty.

“I’ll sleep above the blanket,” he mumbled as I sat down and removed my shoes, before sliding into the cool sheets, but when I looked in his direction once again, the most I could do was shrug. 

“I just need a few hours,” I whispered and let my eyes drift shut, still facing him.  “I want to check on Sam when he wakes up, so tell him not to move.”

“Yeah, try telling Sammy that.”  Dean laughed, and this time it was a real laugh, one that made me shiver because it was also so close to the character that I knew.  I felt the bed shift as he got comfortable,  and without really looking, I knew that he was laying on his side facing me, facing his brother because that was just what Dean did, he slept with one eye open, always the protector.  “You did good, Kid.”

I forced my lids to open once more, catching his green eyes as he went over the features of my face.  “Goodnight, Dean Winchester.”

I heard him take a quick breath in, and I knew I had just screwed up, but there was no coming back from the sleep that I was drifting into, my body wouldn’t allow it, but just before the darkness took over, I felt his fingers along the goose bumps that rose on my arm, tracing down until he took my hand in his and gently held my fingers.

The darkness that came with sleep was a welcome thing. I didn’t want to dream about the creature in the room or the amount of blood that coated all the things that I had touched in that small time frame.  I didn’t want to see the look of pain on Sam’s face, or the sadness and worry in Dean’s eyes.  And I didn’t, I didn’t see any of it. 

But what I did see was worse.

The dreams were more memories than anything, ones of being chased, of the blood that flowed from the nightmares. It was like reliving my childhood all over, plagued by the barbaric dreams that I couldn’t control back then. I had finally figured it out, how to get rid of the blood and gore but the images of Sam, the vampire in the room had made it all come back full force and I heard myself screaming in my head, trying beyond anything to wake up, and when it happened, it was as if I were falling and the ground was coming up at me.

I opened my eyes and sat up on the bed moments before I hit the ground


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could this night get any worse? You might have to just read to find out. :-)

Chapter 3

I felt Dean’s hand slip away from my stomach as I looked around the room, running both hands down my face. As I caught my breath, I looked over at Sam, who had finally switched positions on the bed and I noticed that his bare back was to me. 

It must have been the sleep, or the dream and the need to clutch onto something real because for that one moment, I wanted to run my fingers over every muscle that moved along his shoulder blades, trace every scar that graced his ribs, but all I did was sigh, and swing my legs off the bed.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, I made my way over to the door, checked to find that the closest coffee shop was actually right across the street and I slipped on my shoes.  I knew it might be a bit big on me, but I snatched up Sam’s jacket, the one that Dean had brought in with the rest of the stuff from the Impala the night before, and slipped it on. 

I took in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the canvas, his deodorant, and the cologne that stuck to the fabric, but as I crossed the parking lot, I thought about what the hell I was doing. I should get in my car and drive as fast as I could away from them.  I should have run the night before.  I should not, absolutely not be wearing Sam’s jacket and thinking about how safe I felt sleeping next to Dean, and I definitely should not be ordering coffee for them.

But on the way back to the room, I also thought of the reasons I should stay.  I needed to make sure Sam was okay, that his cut was sealed and he would be fine.  I needed to see those eyes of his opened and alive and as much as I didn’t need his attitude, I really needed to explain everything I could to Dean though I had no idea why.  So my choices were pretty limited to one, staying with them until we reached Joplin, or two, running away and having them chase me down until they found me in Joplin, either way, the Winchesters were now in my life, which according to Dean, was in some kind of danger.

Speaking of Dean, he was sitting up at the table, lacing his boots when I walked in with the coffee.  I set the tray with the three cups and a bag of half a dozen muffins down on the table as I slipped off Sam’s coat and put it across the back of the chair.  Dean’s green eyes were burrowing into me as I tried my hardest to ignore him, grabbing my own drink and a chocolate chip muffin as I moved to sit across from the end of Sam’s bed on the dresser once again.

“You know,” I said softly as I looked up from the muffin, finally making eye contact, “the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.”  It was a classic Dean Winchester line at least how I knew it but when I came out with it to this one, his eyes turned hard and I could almost tell that the line got under his skin, which caused him to finally look away.  “I need to leave soon.”

“You…” he started, his gaze snapping back up at me.

“You say I can’t and I swear I will kick you!”  I stated with anger in my voice, and I watched his jaw set.  “I need to leave soon, but I’m not going to until I know Sam is safe.”

“You’re not safe, why don’t you get that?”  Dean snapped.

“From one vampire?”  I questioned and stopped to think about just how odd it sounded coming from my lips.  “Dean, exactly what do you think is going to happen?”

“That ONE vampire… it had a nest, we were tracking it.”  He growled as he stood and paced close to me, not as close as he had gotten only hours before, which was dangerous because now I had hot coffee, but just this side of near enough for me to feel the anger coming from him.  His eyes were once again set on me.  “And that nest will come looking for its missing member, do you know what they’re going to find?”

“You mean besides the headless corpse you left in my…MY…hotel room?”  I put the cup down and watched as he shook his head and stepped up to me, no fear of being splashed with coffee anymore.  He grabbed my wrist gently, the one covered in bandages and he almost held it up so I could see my own wounds.

“They’re going to find your blood, yours and Sammy’s, and they’re going to hunt you down until either you’re dead or I kill them all.”  He replied and dropped his hold.  I sighed, watching as he moved back to the table to grab the coffee.  “I can’t let anything happen to you.”

“I can take care of myself, Dean.”

“No,” he whispered, taking the keys to the Impala off the table as he suddenly stood, coffee in the other hand.  I watched as his eyes went from my head to my toes and back up before he reached the door.  “You can’t.”

And with that the door closed behind him. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes.  He was right, I had no idea what I was up against, sure I knew the lore both show and real but there was no way I was strong enough to slice through something’s neck.

The movement of the sheets made me open my eyes and I picked my head up to look at Sam, who was sitting up, resting on his elbows, his eyes full of sleep as he stared at me.  The blanket had fallen away and I was once again staring at his chest. 

“What just happened?”  His voice cracked as he asked and I smiled as I hopped down and grabbed the bottle of water from the table, the same bottle he had used to down the pills earlier that night.  I made my way to the second bed and handed him the bottle as I sat down.

“Your brother is just being protective.” I answered and reached for the bunched up blanket while Sam downed the water.  I felt his muscles tighten beneath my fingers as I moved the blanket aside to check on the bandage, and I shot him an apologetic glance.

“My brother usually isn’t that protective of strangers to just get upset and walk out of the room.” Sam smiled as I knelt beside the bed, grabbed the edge of the paper tape and pulled it across his skin, just enough so I could lift the bandage. “You must be special.”

This made me laugh as I grabbed the left over roll of tape from the night stand and rolled my eyes in his direction while I taped down that one side again.

“Yeah, a special pain in the ass!”  I answered and placed both hands on the bed to push myself up but I felt Sam touch my arm.  This made me pause as I decided to sit on the bed next to him instead of moving away.  “He said you were hunting a nest of vampires, why would one come after you?”

“Guess we tripped their early warning system.”  He said sarcastically, pulling himself back to use the headboard as something to rest on, and that hand that touched mine, gave my fingers a slight tug, which I responded to by following him up the bed until we were less than a foot apart. “I’m sorry I got you into this.”

“Oh, so this is your fault?” I mocked and watched as he gave me a smile, one that only made the edge of one side of his lips turn up and his eyes focused down on my hand, the one he was still playing with.  “Hmm, I wish I could blame you for this one, Sam, but I’m pretty sure I drove my own car to that hotel.”

“I meant the vampire, I was trying to lure it away but it put me right through your window.”  He shook his head, and I could see the guilt that was eating him written all over his face.  I moved my fingers from under his and touched his cheek, which brought those blue-green eyes to mine. 

“Good thing too,” I whispered, “if it wasn’t my window, it could have been an empty room, and you could still be bleeding.”  He seemed to get the point that I wasn’t going to let him kick himself in the ass for anything and he nodded as I moved off the bed.  “So coffee and muffin, or is your stomach not ready for that yet?”

“It sounds great,” he replied and watched me with interest as I brought the coffee and the bag over to the side table. 

“Dean didn’t say where he was stomping off too, but I’m going to take a quick shower if you’re okay.”  I waited for him to answer me, which seemed to take forever since he was too busy sizing me up. “You know, Sam, there is one thing that I get from you and your brother. You don’t trust easy, you’re always looking for the weak spot, but you don’t have to worry about that with me.  I just want to make sure you’re okay and then I really need to go.”

“What’s so important that you need to rush out?”  I turned from the bathroom door to look at him with a smile before picking my bag up from the spot next to it.

“Family,” I answered, glanced out the window at Dean, who was slowly approaching the room, taking the last drag of his cigarette before he flicked the butt away from him, and winked at Sam before closing the door.

~~~~~

So I was definitely not dealing with the same Sam and Dean I knew, we established that already, but to see the cigarette in the older brother’s hands, to see him take that last puff, was just a little too hot for my tastes.  And Sam, all half-naked and hurt, was definitely a sight that I could get used to, but I knew it wouldn’t last. 

As much as I would love to sit back and let them both take care of me against a nest of vampires, something else in me was telling me to run.  I had slipped up, I had come out with his last name and he had yet to do anything about it, and that above everything, monster or not, scared the hell out of me.

This Dean was darker, stronger, and definitely less likely to give a rat’s ass what kind of explanation I had for not only knowing about Cas but knowing just who he was. And why would he think I was a threat of any kind, he had trusted me enough to let me near his baby brother? 

I knew the drill, I knew that Sam always came first in his mind and the fact that I had stitched him up, that Dean had taken what little trust there was and given it to me, only for me to take it away, well, that wouldn’t sit well with the older Winchester. Not at all.

I paused one moment more, letting the feeling of the water pour over me and wash away everything that had happened, but like I said, just for a moment more before I turned it off and got dressed, needing to face the music.

Sam was at the table, fully clothed when I stepped out, my wet hair still stuck to my face, and Dean was lounging on the bed, his eyes sleepy with the need to rest, but he sat forward, more attentive as I made my way over to the table and placed my bag on the floor.

“Relax, Dean, I’m not going to hurt him.”  I mumbled as I searched around the room, trying to find the small pocketknife I had only hours before. I had just crouched down to look under the bed when his hand was yet again grabbing at me.  I sat up quickly, turned and sat down on the bed that Sam had been resting on. Dean slid over to mimic my position and the two of us leaned in towards each other.  “Let’s discuss personal space.”

“Let’s discuss how you know our last name.” I knew that was coming and I sat back.

“Remember the angel I told you about?”  I asked, completely lying out of my ass.  Sam sat up straight, I could hear his clothes shift on the seat. Dean glanced back to Sam and I got the gist of their nonverbal communication.  “Well, two guesses what his favorite topic of “I can’t stick around because so and so needs me” were?”

“Wait, Cas told you about us?”  Sam questioned, and I just shook my head, keeping my eyes pinned on Dean.  “So how would you know that we were the ones he was talking about?”

“How many Sam and Dean Winchesters do you know?”  I turned to glance at him and watched as he gave a little shake.  “Hmm, me too, so. Sam. Dean. Hunters. Vampires…all these little pieces of a giant jigsaw puzzle that spells out Winchester.”

“When did you see him last?”  Dean questioned and I shook my head. 

“It’s been a while,” I whispered and suddenly thought back to the show.  When Cas was gone, how long had he been on there, what had he been doing before he disappeared, and I took a deep breath.  “For me, it’s been a few years.”

“Yeah,” Dean whispered, his angry voice seemed a little defeated and I stood up to leave but I stopped and watched as his eyes came up to match mine.

“Whatever he’s done to you, in whichever way you think he’s betrayed your trust, he’s always believed he’s done the right thing.”  I kept my voice low and pointed, hoping Dean would get my hint.  “You’re family, his family.”

I stepped away from him, giving him a pat on the back as I left and went back to my search for the small knife.  It took me a half hour to find the stupid thing, that apparently I had rolled up in my pants and by that time, both the men I shared a room with were packed and ready to go. 

Standing outside by the cars, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and watched as Sam lowered himself into the passenger’s seat of the Impala, before I looked up at Dean, who was standing beside me.  Sam’s gaze also rested on me as I shrugged.

“So, what now?” I questioned.  “You two obviously have some sort of warped sense of duty to protect me, no matter how much I protest, so either you’re following me to Joplin or this is where we part ways, though I’m not holding my breath on the second part.”

“You really want to get rid of us, don’t you?”  This coming from Dean as I smiled and leaned back against the car.

“God, you know if you asked me that on any other given day, I would say no in a heartbeat.” I smiled and shook my head.  “I would keep you, the both of you and any crazy, mix-up crap that came with you, but I can’t bring that to where I’m going, not to her.  Granted she knows more about firearms and being badass than I could poke a stick at but,” I shook my head, “I don’t want to get rid of you, Dean, in fact it might be the opposite, but…”

“All right, don’t hurt yourself,” he seemed to get the point as he looked around before his eyes landed back on mine.  “You’re right, the second part isn’t going to happen.  Until we get rid of the nest, you and Sam are prime targets and with him like that, I need you both close, so call your friend and tell her you’re not coming.”

“Bullshit!” I snapped and shook my head.  “You must be smoking crack if you think she’s going to back off just because you said so.”

“She sounds like you.” Sam laughed and I looked down at him.  “Listen, Al, if she’s anything like you, I have no doubts that you’ll both be fine, but Dean’s right, I’m useless and you need to be protected.”

“Ugh, not you too!”  I sighed, and rubbed my cheeks as I held back the irritation. “Okay, so I’ll call her, tell her to wait on meeting me and you guys have seven hours to get rid of a nest because there is no way in hell she’s going to agree to it.”

“Seven hours?”  Dean questioned, turning to look at me, his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans and I grinned as if he were accepting a challenge. “Yeah, not going to happen.”

“Then we’re at a bit of an impasse.”

“Fine,” he gave in. “Go to Joplin, meet up with your friend, but know that we’ll be right behind you.”

I stared at him in shock, not even sure if I had won that battle or completely lost control of everything I had just said, but his hand reached out, caught the back of my neck and suddenly Dean Winchester, the hard ass, planted a kiss on the top of my head before walking around to the driver’s side.  Confusion must have been written with a sharpie all over my face because Sam was just sitting there grinning.

What the hell had just happened?

Sam reached out for the door but I stepped forward and waved his hand away.  The brown-haired man stretched his legs out and found a comfortable position in the car and let me close the door, but he quickly rolled down the window before I could step back.

“Hey, Al, be careful,” he whispered as I leaned down, placing my lower arm on the door as I glanced between the two of them.

“Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen.” I huffed, felt his hand gently run over mine, and backed away from the car.  It only took me a second to get in, get the car started and roll out onto the highway but I knew that I would never lose sight of the chrome grill that followed behind me, and strangely enough, that thought alone made me smile.

~~~~~

We weren’t three hours outside of the town when the problem started.  The rental started to spit, the gas pedal failed to accelerate the car and while there was no smoke evident from the engine, I was pretty sure that someone had tampered with the thing at the last rest stop I had made it to before my bladder exploded.

The Impala, who had been right on my tailgate the whole trip, including the fact that Sam practically followed me to the bathroom, even waited outside the door for me, pulled up along the dusty side of the road, just as I got out, slammed the door and popped the hood.

I watched Dean step out, and make his way over, or more to the point I watched those bowed, jean –clad legs casually approach, but it was the squeak of the other door that caught my attention and I knew Sam would be coming up the other side.

With a huff, I looked at the engine, which had completely seized, and shook my head as the shadows loomed over me from both sides.

“Do you even know what you’re looking at under there?”  Dean questioned.

“Dean!”  Sam snapped but he knew that I would have some sort of answer, he was just trying to protect me.

“Do you know how much of a sexist you sound like?”  I turned to my right and looked up at the green-eyed one, who had a smile playing on his lips.  “Yeah, I know what the hell I’m looking at.  I was born at night, but not last night.” I moved towards the back of the car, giving Dean a bump with my shoulder on the way by and lifted the gas cover, swiped my hand along the seal and shook my head.  “Sugar, really?”

“What?”  Sam questioned, holding his side as he walked over.  He looked down inside himself and stood, giving Dean a roll of his eyes. My own had left the granulated particles that covered my fingers and went to the fact that he hadn’t stopped pressing on the stitches.  I grabbed his shirt, which had him looking down at me, and lifted it enough to see that the bandage was still secure but could use a change.  “I’m fine.”

“You always say that,” I whispered and let the shirt drop before I turned and opened the back door.

“Wait, you can’t change it now,” Sam protested as he watched me pull out my kit.

“Why not? I’m dead on the side of the road, Sam, exactly what am I going to do besides wait for a tow?”  I placed my hand on his stomach, away from the stitches and stepped forward just enough so that he was moving backwards.  He hit the grill of the Impala with an “ummph” but let himself be held up by it.  “Shirt.”

With a roll of his eyes and a glance at his brother, who tinkered under the hood of my car, I smiled as I placed the kit beside him and he obeyed by lifting his shirt so I had access to the gauze.  Setting out everything I needed, I slowly began to take the tape off, my fingers brushing over his skin and I felt him twitch, at one point it got a small giggle from him and I looked up to see the blush on his face.

“Sorry.”  I smiled and got the bandage free.

“No you’re not.”  He grinned, which made me shrug, because he was right, I wasn’t sorry at all.  Not sorry for touching him, not sorry for getting those noises to come from him, and not sorry for all the dirty thoughts that ran though my head as I did it.  A wet wipe was the only thing I had to clean around the area, but it did the job even though the loan groan from the cold fabric sent shivers down my spine.  “Where did you learn to do this?”

“Like I told your brother, EMT, and medical assistant, plus with three kids you have to know some sort of first aid.”  I answered, glanced up at his ever staring eyes and took a moment to appreciate them before I went back to work.

“And the stitches?”

“Funny enough, I learned it on a pig’s foot.” I replied and felt him stiffen. “There were so many students in the class when we were learning how to take them out, she had to take the time to teach us how to put them in first.  I was kinda hooked after that and apparently she appreciated my work, so every time a new class came in, I was the one who stitched up the fake stuff and they were the ones to take them out. So I’ve done a couple thousand before in less than three months.”

“They’re good, nice and clean, not like Dean’s.”  The way he said his brother’s name made me smile, because there was nothing but pride in the way he spoke it.  I let my hand move, as I placed the last piece of tape over the edge, and slid it across to the scar on his ribs.  Sam took a deep breath in as I ran my finger along it and rested my eyes on his.

“I don’t know, it looks pretty good to me.”  Sam looked down as my fingers rested there for a moment more before I let him go and packed up the kit, rolling up the used bandage.  I watched that shirt come down, pity he couldn’t stay that way but I had a car to get back to before Mr. Mechanic ruined my insurance.  Standing beside Dean, I found that my eyes still went to Sam, who hadn’t moved from his spot on the hood of the car.  “So, Doc, what’s up?”

“Well, you’re pretty much screwed,” he stated nonchalantly and turned his head to look at me, even as he was still bent over the engine.

“Wonderful,” I sighed and rolled my eyes.  “So, what now?”

AND that was when it happened. We both looked down as the air hissed from the tire.  I looked under the small space in the hood to see Sam stand straight, his gun pulled and Dean’s expression turned sour. Wondering just what was going on, I rounded the side of the car and looked at the steel arrow that stuck out from the rubber.

“What the hell?” I snapped and felt Dean’s hand around my arm, something that was becoming a normal thing between us and he practically yanked me back behind the car and into the dust that kicked up as Sam moved behind the Impala. There were several other projectiles that flew by and I watched as Dean pulled the pearl-handled gun from his belt.  “Seriously, someone is shooting arrows at us?”

“They sugared your car, Ali, did you think that would be the end of it?” Dean growled and looked up through the windshield.

“NO, Dean, but I didn’t really expect arrows for God’s sake!”  I rumbled back, my eyes locked on Sam, and he seemed to notice.

“He’s not going to disappear, and he can take care of himself.” He huffed and I turned eyes to his green ones.

“Jealous much?” and I heard him make some sort of grunting noise, which made me smile. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ride to Joplin is one thing, explaining the Winchesters to Danni, well, that will be interesting to see.

Chapter 4

The next few minutes felt like a lifetime with everything that happened all at once. Before we could make out where the arrows were coming from, there were bodies attacking and both the boys fired at will. I ducked and covered, and then remembered I was unarmed. Opening the door beside Dean, who took a second to give me a disapproving look, grabbed the blade from my bag and slammed the door shut just as an arrow pierced the window.

The fight that broke out was not like the coordinated moves one the show and I found myself stuck in the middle of both the boys, and their battle counterparts. Ducking down, I moved past Dean, between the two cars and snatched the keys out of the ignition of the sleek black car, Dean would just have to scold me later.

My only thought on how to help had to do with the weapons cache hidden in the floorboard of the trunk, and to get to that, I needed the keys. I'm pretty sure if I thought about it, while fumbling with each key until the right one slipped in, this whole situation would have me in total panic mode, but the thought of either men getting hurt once more had me on autopilot.

I used the sawed-off to prop the lid, the same way I had seen Dean do it a million times in the show, and searched for something specific. If these were vampires and I couldn't take off their heads, there was definitely one other way to slow them down.

There tucked in a back compartment was a quart mason jar of thick red liquid. My stomach didn't turn as easy as it used to, but looking at the container of dead man's blood, I could feel it start to flip. I closed the lid of the trunk quiet, ducked down and wrenched open the glass jar before dipping as much of the spectrum into it as possible, managing to coat the entire blade as the thickening liquid dripped down.

Sam was the first one I came up on. He was holding his own, but I could almost see the blood on his dark shirt as the stitches possibly popped and I held my breath as I snuck up behind the monster and with as much force as I could get, I plunged the blade through its back. As it stopped its movements, I listened to the grotesque sound it made, while I ripped the blade back.

"Down!" I heard Dean's voice from beside me and I tucked myself as low as I could go before his blade came whipping across the air, and the head that it connected with rolled down the hill beside me. Dean looked at me curiously as Sam reached for my arm, pulling me up beside him as he tucked me into the crook of his chest. "You done playing hero?"

"Bite me, Winchester!" I snapped and felt the fabric of Sam's shirt tightly in my gasp as I held on for dear life, since my heart was just about to pop out of my chest.

"How many was that?" Sam questioned.

"Six, maybe." Dean shrugged and looked around at the bloody mess. "We need to move." He stated and stared down at me. "Now."

Dean moved, reaching into my car to grab everything he could before tossing it in the trunk of the Impala, less than impressed that I left the keys and the Mason jar out in the open, and I heard him swearing under his breath. Sam pulled me close as he caught his breath, placing the gun in his lap as he wrapped both arms around me before kissing me on the forehead.

I released him, pushed out of his arms and stood to look at the damage around us. Sam pulled himself up and watched me with a little bit of concern as I ran my hands through my hair and left them there for a moment.

"You gonna be okay, Al?" Sam's voice broke through the silence that surrounded me and I was able to look up and focus in on him before nodding.

"Yeah, I guess I'm not as used to the carnage as I thought I was." I answered and moved toward the car. Sam watched as I stopped, glanced down at the blood on his shirt and shook my head. "How do you feel?"

"Nothing's broken, or ripped, I think it was just from the pressure." Sam smiled, but I could see the pain in his face.

"Ah-huh," I shook my head and grabbed the handle of the car. "You keep telling yourself that and when we get to Joplin, I'm going to look myself."

"I could always hop in the back with you and you could take a peek now." Sam smiled and I heard the low groan from Dean on the other side of the car.

"Why don't the two of you just get a freaking room?" He snapped as he lit up a cigarette. I guess that was the one thing that was going to take some getting used too. He glanced down at the stick in his hand before looking at me. "You got an issue with this?"

"No, just not something I expected." I answered, licked my lips and shot a glance to Sam as I opened the door and climbed in.

Yeah, I had been in the back seat of Dean's baby before, but only during photo shoots with the fan cars, this one smelled different, a little like Sam, a little like Dean and a lot like some serious trouble. I grabbed the kit once again, probably the one thing that Dean hadn't thrown in the trunk and waited for Sam to climb in the other side so I had better access to the bandage.

I looked up at Dean in the mirror, his green eyes locked on mine and I couldn't help but feel like I was being scrutinized by him. Was he jealous or protective, did he think I was a threat to him or his brother, and why the hell was he looking at me like that?

The Impala's engine rumbled beneath me and I smiled, let my eyes roll back and rested my head against the back seat. I heard Sam chuckle and opened one eye as he and Dean seemed to have matching smiles.

"You look like you're in heaven." Sam said as he leaned against the rucksack that was braced against the door his knee touching mine. Dean snorted.

"She looks like she's in the middle of sex." Yep, he was the one that had to go there.

"You're both right," which got me some questioning looks. "The back seat of a mint 67' Impala, and one that sounds like this. Sex on wheels and yes, I'm in heaven!"

Dean knew his car was sexy as hell, and just smiled proudly but as my gaze turned to Sam, I watched the tight lipped grin on his face as he looked down at where our legs touched. He was harder, rougher and had seen more real pain and death than the Sam I knew, but that smile seemed to brighten him up, make him look happy. I reached down and placed my hand on his thigh, which snapped his eyes up to mine.

"Let me take a look." I had never seen a man move so fast lifting his shirt and this time he didn't do it half-assed, he was nearly naked as I leaned over and inspected the line of blood that came through the bandage. Biting down on my lip, I peeled back the tape once more and looked over the stitches, this time following the line as I counted with my finger. Sam made some low noise deep in his throat and I paused, biting down harder to keep from smiling. Nothing was popped or ripped which was good, so switched out the gauze once more and taped him back up. "We're going to have to stop in Joplin for some supplies."

"Yeah, after we make sure you're safe." Dean reiterated and watched as I shook my head. "You look beat, why don't you catch some shut-eye. Sammy will wake you up before we hit the city limits."

"Sleep sounds great." I mumbled and watched as Sam pulled some sort of move that had him sitting on the other side of me.

Suddenly tired and on edge, I let his strong arms pull me towards him and I found the heat of that crook once again. My hand flattened against his hip as I closed my eyes, barely hearing the slight laugh from the front seat as I settled into a dreamless sleep.

I could hear the voices as I drifted in and out of the sleep that the rocking of the car had put me in. For probably a few hours there had been only silence but as the ride continued, I could hear Dean's voice lightly over the hum of the engine and Sam's as it vibrated through the fabric beneath my skin as I rested against his chest.

"I don't know, Sammy, there's something about her." Dean started and I could almost imagine him staring at me in the mirror.

"Yeah, the something is that she's not bending to your every whim," Sam laughed softly, his fingers running over my arm back and forth as he kept me locked into that light sleep. He was gentle and soft, something that I would have never expected if I hadn't known his other world, or him from the other world.

"It's not that," Dean admitted, but at least that meant he was admitting something, "she has this feeling about her."

"A feeling…you…the one who says nothing is coincidence, is going on a feeling?" Sam was the only one I could actually feel moving when he adjusted himself in the uncomfortable position I must have put him in, but when he sighed, I got the idea that he might actually agree with his brother. "So the vampire and scent thing, what? That's all a cover to keep her around while you figure out this feeling?"

"NO!" Dean snapped defensively and I wanted to smile, but I kept as relaxed as I could. "The danger is real, Sam, we saw that back there. They're tracking you, and her, and yeah maybe the whole idea of her being a mystery throws me off, but we need to keep her protected."

"Why, because she says she knows Cas?"

"She doesn't," this made me almost stiffen, but there was no distrust in his voice. "What she said to me before she walked out the door, about him. I mean, it's obvious that she knows of him but there are just little loopholes in her story that I'm not buying. Cas is family, but he never betrayed my trust, so why would she say something like that."

"Maybe she doesn't know, maybe that's just what happened between them, I don't know but you have to admit it's kind of weird to run into her and have her know so much about him." The fingers that ran over my arm, stopped for a second, and I felt his breath against my head as he leaned down and kissed it softly. "She knows so much about us."

"Yeah, so what's with you?" But Sam didn't reply. "Come on, Sammy, you never take to a girl like this, I mean look at you, when was the last time you held anyone that close?"

"You mean Jess?" Sam's voice deepened and my heart broke. So he had a Jessica here too, probably one that had passed away, but I felt his chest rise as he drew in a deep breath. "You're right, there is a feeling about her and I have a need."

"Yeah, we all got needs." Dean snickered.

"No, a need to protect her, to keep her close." But his voice had an angry tone to it, almost as if admitting it out loud hurt him. "I don't know, it's not just the vampire thing either. When we saw her in the diner…"

"When I saw her and pointed her out to you, you mean?"

"Whatever! Either way, there was something in the way she looked at us, something…strange, ya know."

"I get it." Dean sighed and cleared his throat. "Joplin limits are about five miles ahead, you wanna wake up Sleeping Beauty?"

"Sure." Sam mumbled, as if his thoughts weren't even where he expected them to be, but I felt the fingers of his free hand, not the one caressing my arm, move up and there was a light touch against my face.

I wasn't going to respond. I was just going to be happy and let that feeling take over, but it started to tickle and then it started to… and I let out a low moan as I shifted against him. Sam instantly stopped, his fingers pressed against my jaw ever so slightly.

"Hey, Al, time to wake up." His voice was almost as alluring as his touch and it sucked! I shifted against him, used the seat beside his stomach to push myself up and away from his body. I moved my head just a bit to catch his eyes with mine but I watched his flicker to my lips as I tried to lick the dryness away. He cleared his throat, swallowed hard and let his hand drop away. "We're almost there, maybe you should call your friend."

"Um," I breathed lightly, "okay."

I did my best to pull off being still half asleep but their conversation had brought me so close to consciousness that it was hard to stay that way for long. I moved over to the other side of the car, letting Sam finally move and pulled out my phone. Texting Danni was easy, since she was my first contact and my last phone call, and I let my fingers slide over the screen. She was almost at the spot, a Chili place called Fred & Red's, a small greasy spoon diner on Main Street in town.

"Fred & Red's, a Chili place on main." I mumbled and turned in my seat to look at Sam, who nodded and seemed to look a bit guilty. "Anything fun happen while I was asleep, no ghosts in the machine or anything?"

"Are you kidding, Baby's protected by Enochian, no vengeful spirits getting in my ride." Dean spoke up with pride as he patted the dashboard. I smiled at this and wait for him to realize what he said, it took a minute, but mostly it took him looking in the mirror to see the shock on Sam's face before he realized what he had said.

"I'm not going to ask, if that's what you're waiting on." I shrugged and watched as Sam snapped his gaze quickly to mine. "I know what Enochian is."

"Okay," Dean turned the mirror, aiming it so I could see the intensity of his stare, and flicked from watching the road, to watching me. "When we get to your friend and I know you and Sammy are safe, you and I are going to sit down and have a little talk about just how well you know Enochian."

"Well, I can tell you now I know it just as well as I know Latin." I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away to look out the window. I thought I felt Sam edge closer but I didn't bother to look, I just needed a few minutes to figure out HOW to tell them what I know, not what.

As it turned out, I had about a half an hour to get my shit together. The boys dropped me at the diner, blade attached to my belt, and knife tucked in my pocket, but the only thing I was wearing was the leather jacket Dean managed to grab from the trunk before he shoo-ed me into the building and told me to have a seat while they parked close by, watching.

The bell above the door jingled and for the umpteenth time, I looked up, waiting on another disappointment, but she was standing there, her long hair pulled back in a ponytail with a wide-eyed and frantic look on her face as she whipped her head back and forth up and down the aisle. I stood from my seat catching her attention and watched as she moved towards me. Danni Danvers wrapped her arms around me like a shaking older sister, one that was pissed off but relieved that I was alright and I almost braced myself for a swing but she stepped back and looked me over.

"Okay, you've got a coat, your blade, you knife, no bag, a bandage on your arm and," she paused to take a breath, "where's your freaking car?"

"Dead on the side of the highway about three hours north." I said softly and slowly sat down. Danni followed suit and stared at me. "Hey Sis." I smiled and watched as she dropped her head to the table in a gesture of either wanting to kill me or strangle me just to the point of me passing out.

"Don't 'hey Sis' me, chick, what the hell?" She replied, but the smile crept up on her lips. "So, three hours up the highway, what the hell happened?"

"Well, someone put sugar in my gas tank," I stated and watched as the waitress brought over a cup of coffee for Danni and refilled mine. I waited until she left before I went on. "While we were looking at the engine, the ones I can only guess were vamps blew a hole in my tire with an arrow, proceeded to attack and hurt Sam, and I knifed another one."

She was silent for a moment, knowing that I had only given her the cliff-notes version of it and I watched as she folded her hands on the table. "Well," she started, sucked on the back of her lip and then let out a sigh, "ain't that a bitch."

I knew she would take it with a grain of salt because it wasn't as if I didn't tell her some screwed up stuff as it was but she looked around the place and shrugged.

"So, where are they?"

"Lying in wait, so-to-speak." I replied and fixed up my cup with sugar and cream. "They can see us from here and once I give the signal, they'll pull around."

"And if you don't?" She whispered, which made me look at her, questioningly. "Give the signal, I mean?"

"Then they'll follow us back to Vinita." I answered, which made me think, really think about the two men I had been traveling with. "You know, it sounds stalkerish but once you see them, you'll know who they are, and Danni, they're not lying. They are Sam and Dean Winchester, I swear to God."

"I believe you," she pushed aside her flannel shirt and let me see the small gun tucked into her belt, "but, you know, just in case."

"How long do you want to sit here for before we get this inevitable shit-show on the road?" I smiled and watched her down half the coffee in front of her. She placed the cup down and sat back, looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"Now is just a good a time as any." She slapped her hands down on the table and rose. I couldn't help the grin that crossed my face. This was going to be one interesting hell of a night.

Placing the bills on the table, Danni and I stepped out into the night. Her 2015 Silver Escape was parked on the side of the building, a couple lines down from the bright lights of the diner, but it sat under a street lamp. Looking around, I noticed there wasn't another car for what seemed like forever, in fact the streets were pretty empty.

Danni leaned against the hood, her arms and ankles crossed as she stared me down. I stood under the light and paced, hands in the pockets of my coat and let out a breath as she shook her head. I stopped and smiled at her, pushed my hair back from my face and stared up at the sky.

"You think they finally decided they had enough of ya and ran?" Danni smiled, but that was when I heard the low rumble of the car.

"No such luck." I answered and turned to look out at the dark road. She stood straight at the sound of the rumble and watched the sleek black car roll in under the cover of night, no headlights until they were less than ten feet from us.

"Holy hell, is that really Baby?" She questioned, moving to stand next to me as I bit down on my lip, staring straight into the headlights of the car.

"Yep," I nodded and listened to the engine cut, the lights still illuminated the spot we stood and we both watched as the doors opened. Dean closed his door first, slipping out the driver's side, hidden mostly by the blinding light, but Sam, I could make him out just by the way he braced himself on the edge of the car. They stepped forward, both close enough so that Danni could make out the features of their faces, just to the side of the lights so that the four of us faced each other and her mouth just dropped. "Danni Danvers, meet Sam and Dean Winchester."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wants an explanation, no matter how crazy it sounds, but will Ali and Danni be able to give him one that makes sense, or better yet, keeps him from throttling her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. I was being so you get two chapters today

Chapter 5

“No…freaking…way!”  Danni said, her voice low as if she were trying to keep her reaction between the two of us, but I could almost see the smile on Sam’s face and the doubt on Dean’s.  She stepped up closer to them and watched as Dean took a step back.  I probably should have warned her about that.

He reached behind his back and I quickly stepped forward, placing my hand on his arm.  Dean looked at me as I gave him a slight shake and he stilled, moving his hand ever so slightly but pressed it into the palm of mine as if I were keeping him grounded.  Danni had stopped, seeing his reaction but she just looked over his face for a moment more before turning to Sam.  Her eyes grew wide with acknowledgement and she shook her head.

“So, Sam and Dean, you know Ali told me a lot about you.” Danni smiled but watched as Dean looked down at me.

“Oh yeah?” He questioned, moving that stare back up to the woman in front of us.

“No, not really.”  Sam smiled at this little snarky remark and he crossed his arms over his chest as he tried to get comfortable standing.  I moved away from Dean, taking my hand from his arm as he followed my movement to his brother before focusing on Danni.  “So what’s your game?”

“Excuse me?”  Dean’s eyes narrowed as Danni held her ground.

“Well, you have to be playing something if you’re suddenly so gun-ho on keeping her from what… vampires?”  Danni laughed.  I turned my head away from Sam to look at the two of them, while he placed a hand on my hip, the two of us bracing each other for the fight that seemed inevitable. “Do you really believe those are a thing?”

“Every monster you can think of is a thing, Lady.” I should have warned her about that too, but again, I didn’t.  I could see the anger welling up in her face at the sarcastic nickname.

“I’m sorry, what did you call me?”  Danni spoke softly, taking a step forward.  Yep, off to a bad start per usual with Dean it seemed and Sam moved around me, putting himself between his brother, his back to the man, and faced Danni.  “And, you, Moose, what’s your deal?”

“Moose?”  Sam said, a little dumbstruck, and I let the back of my head hit Danni’s car.  I heard him start mumbling under his breath, kicked off from her tire and added one more person to the conga line by placing myself in front of Danni, in the same protective stance as Sam, my back to her.

“She’s not a demon,” I whispered, holding up my hands as I watched the hard look that I had only seen while he was fighting cross Sam’s face.  The Latin exorcism that he chanted slowly came to a halt as he closed his eyes, for only a second before he looked down at me.  “Look, I can explain everything, but it's  going to sound insane, and if you’re right about this vampire thing.  Right here, right now, so not the place.”

“Fine,” Dean growled.  “We found a place to crash for the night.” He came around Sam as his gaze passed between me and Danni before it rested solely on me. “And then we have our little chat.”

“Yeah,” I snapped as he headed back for the car, “but are you going to be too pigheaded to listen and really understand it, or are you going to pull a total Winchester and ignore every word that comes out of my mouth.” 

Dean moved back towards me, the anger in his eyes was clearly evident and the only thing that stopped him was Sam’s arm coming up and across his brother’s chest, like a mom move with the seatbelt in a car.

“Alright, that’s enough!”  Sam growled, his voice dipping low as his eyes locked on Dean’s.  The older brother narrowed his eyes in our direction but he shook his head and turned back to the car, swearing under his breath as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up.  Sam turned back to us, his eyes also flickering back and forth and I watched that hard look ease out of him as he put his arm by his side and licked his lips.  “You’re pushing a very thin line, Al, and I don’t know if I can hold back my brother if it’s crossed, so I hope your story is as good as you think it is.”

Danni and I watched as Sam turned back towards the car and I shook my head.  “I hope that wasn’t a threat, Sammy.”

“It’s not.”  He answered over his shoulder as he got into the car.  Dean finished his cigarette, apparently not one to smoke in the car since it didn’t smell anything like the American Spirits that he was puffing away on, but I watched as he gave me a quick narrow-eyed warning, flicked the butt and got into the car.

“I guess that’s our cue,” I shrugged as Danni stepped up beside me, the both of us still staring at the Impala.  “So, thoughts.”

“Those are definitely Winchesters,” she sighed and patted me on the shoulder, “and we are so totally screwed!”

I nodded in agreement and followed her as she moved back towards her car. When the belts were buckled and the headlights came on, we watched the Impala turn and head left onto the main road.  Danni looked, at me, her lips thinned as she flipped on the blinker and headed off after them.

“So, pretty intense right?”  I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

“You look like hell,” Danni snorted back and followed the taillights of the car ahead of us without blinking.  “How much sleep have you gotten?”

“A couple hours here and there, mostly there.  I slept on Sam just before we got into Joplin.”  The smile that crossed her face was one of congratulations and “sly dog”, but she turned to me and raised an eyebrow.  “Hey the back seat is comfy.”  I rolled my eyes as soon as the words left my mouth.  “I’m just gonna shut up.”

“Yeah, you should probably do that before you did yourself in deeper.” I loved the fact that she was amused by my lack of verbal control.  “Dean is pretty intense, not like the ones we know, more…”

“Hot as hell?”  I piped up and watched her whip her gaze in my direction as I shrugged. “Just stating the obvious.”

“Yeah, and I wonder if he does the same thing our Dean does, drink and ride the bull.” Danni grinned, like really let the visual sink in.

“Drinking, yeah, picking up girls… not so much since he’s been trying to save my ass for the last however many hours.”  I leaned my arm on the door using my fist to prop my head up.  “How the hell are we going to convince them that we’re not insane?”

“Oh, what’s this we stuff?” She asked and glanced at me.  “This is all you, sweets, you picked up the angry stray, Sam just came along for the ride.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I laughed and watched her smile.  “No, seriously, they’ll either believe us, or kill us.”

“Or used holy water and whips and chains…”

“Okay, okay!”  I shook my head and watched as they turned into the parking lot to the right. “Remind me to kick Dean and tell him how much some sort of warning would be nice.”

“Yeah, let me get right on that.” 

We pulled in beside them, watched Sam roll his whole head, forget just the eyes as the engine cut out and Dean quickly moved from the car to the hotel room.  Sam was still there, shaking his head, when I made my way over and knocked on the glass, Danni right behind me.   He took a deep breath, licked his lips and looked up at me, without really moving.

“Listen, pal, if you’re not going in there, then I’m not either!”  I told him through the glass and he finally huffed and opened the door. Danni and I met him on the walkway and I grabbed his shirt, stopping him from entering the room.  “What was that about?”

“You don’t need to know.”  Sam answered, his voice course with anger but he wouldn’t look at me.

“If it has to do with me, I do need to know,” and I reached out, grabbing the other side of his shirt so his body was completely facing me.  He stood there for a moment, looking out at something way over my head, both figuratively and literally, and finally he lowered his face towards mine, stopping just far enough away to be comfortable, but the look in his eyes, the anger on his face, yeah, that might have given me reason to be scared.

“If you’re lying, if any part of this is complete bullshit, Al, there is nothing I can do to stop him from making his own call.  That’s just how Dean is,” he growled, “and the fact that I might not be able to protect you from my own brother, that pisses me off.”

“I’m going to lie, Sam, but I will warn you. It’s absolutely insane at best, so if you’re looking for a credible story, one that I can prove without a shadow of a doubt, I’m not sure I can give you that.”  He huffed and stood straight again.  “Listen, Dean isn’t going to hurt me, and neither are you.”

“You can’t know that.” Sam whispered, but his eyes lowered to mine, just his eyes, as I released his shirt and stepped back. 

“Have some faith, you might be surprised what it can do for you.” I moved around him, feeling his hand brush against my arm as he let out a breath.  Danni was right beside me as I grabbed the handle to the room and twisted.  One last glance up at Sam and I stepped over the threshold to certain doom.

Okay so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration but when I stopped next to the table and looked down by the beds, Dean was pacing back and forth. Danni grabbed the chair closest to the wall, and folded her fingers together as she put her feet up on the table, ready for a show.  Sam walked in behind me, his touch ghosting down my spine as he moved passed me and stopped to lean against the dresser.  My eyes weren’t on his, they were only on Dean, whose green ones were burrowing into mine.

“Who wants to lead this circus?”  I questioned, crossing my arms as I stood there, not backing down.

“It’s your ring, your baton,” Dean replied.

“But this, this world that you live in, not my monkeys.”  I raised my eyebrows and listened to Danni growl.

“Enough with the Barnum and Bailey’s references, can we just get on with it?” She snapped and I gave her a tight-lipped grin.

“So where to start,” I closed my eyes, ran my tongue over my lips to get things going and let out a breath, all before looking over at Sam, who was just staring.  “Your name is Samuel Winchester, named after your grandfather, born May 2, 1983, to Mary and John Winchester.  Mary died when you were six months old in a nursery fire,” Sam’s eyes went wide as he sat up straighter, and I turned to Dean taking one fateful step at a time.  “Your name is Dean Winchester, born January 24, 1979, you’re mother’s maiden name was Campbell and you carry around only a few picture of her, yourself, John and Sam in your wallet.  When you were four, you father handed you your baby brother and told you to go outside and not look back, from that moment on you were hunters, whether you wanted to be or not.”

“Good, so you know my family history, so try telling me something the world doesn’t know.”  Dean growled.

“The world doesn’t know that monsters exist, that angels and demons are real, that you and Sam have gone to hell and back, died more times than you can count and are still here to talk about it.” I sighed and let the shaky breath fall from my lungs.  “The world doesn’t know that Sam went off to college, met a girl, had a life but because of one little line, he was drawn back into it and she died, the same way your mother did.”

“One line, what one line?”  Dean snapped, and for an instant the snarky, protective Dean that I knew shined through.

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days.” I whispered and watched the color run out of Dean’s face, but it was quickly replaced by anger as he closed the distance between us and grabbed me by my upper arms.  His fingers weren’t tight, they didn’t hurt, but I could almost feel him tapping out a song with those little ticks.  “Metallica, you usually hum it when you’re nervous.”

He pushed away from me, running a hand through his hair as he moved back towards the bathroom.  I glanced at Sam, still awestruck but unmoving and then I focused on Danni, who gave me just a little bit of a gesture to keep going.

“Gordon,” I whispered, watching Dean spin around in his spot and I swallowed, waiting for the backlash, “Benny,” and his eyes grew wide, as his lips parted, “Garth,” the names were etching away at the anger, but as he started to realize what was going on, I could feel the emotions climbing in me. “Kevin,” Dean glanced up at Sam, unsure of what to do, “Bobby Singer.” This one had his eyes on me but it was the last name, the very last one that had my lips trembling. “Charlie Bradbury.”

“Enough!”  Dean snapped and it almost sounded like a lion roaring.  “So you know the names of the people we have lost.”

“You didn’t lose them,” I whispered and shook my head, “they were taken from you, by things that shouldn’t exist, monsters that the rest of us are completely unaware of, at least, so we’re led to believe.”

“And you know this how?” Sam questioned, the first time I had heard his voice since it all began. 

“This is the part that I told you was completely insane.” I laughed and shook my head.  “A television show.”

“Excuse me?”  Dean narrowed his eyes at me and I pulled the phone out of my pocket, flipped to YouTube and pulled up the latest teaser of Supernatural.  With one hand raised, I stepped towards him and handed him the phone just as I pressed play. 

Dean looked from me to the screen before I stepped back completely from his reach and I listened to the words that came from the small device. I had purposely picked a brother scene, the one from the most heart wrenching endings I could find because, dammit, he needed to know just what was going on.

Sam had undergone the trials, just about to kill off the king of hell himself and Dean had found a way to put an end to it but Sam’s confession about how the one person he was never supposed to let down, and how many times he had done it to Dean.  The older brother’s response was to tell Sam just what needed to be said that there wasn’t anything Dean would put in front of him, and he meant it.

When the scene ended, the shock and awe had disappeared from Dean’s face, and his eyes moved from the small screen to Sam’s.  I watched with a bit of annoyance.

“Could you cut the brotherly non-verbal communication crap?” I snapped and sat down on the bed, keeping them both in my sights as I reached up and rubbed my forehead.  Sam gave his usually shrug, which consisted of a quick tilt of his head, and Dean clenched his jaw, sighed and turned in my direction. “It’s called Supernatural.”

“That’s a thing?”  Dean’s eyes creased as he asked.

“Actually, yes, a thirteen year-long thing.” I put my hands on the bed, reclined a little and then realized it just was too uncomfortable to keep it that way and I leaned forward instead.  Danni was all smiles in the corner, not wanting to give up her ringside seat as I went… nearly… toe-to-toe with her fantasy. “The show is about two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, saving people, hunting things, but it’s become more than that, the show became more of a family, a way to connect people together.”

“Well this,” he pointed at the phone, “this ain’t us.”

“I’m not saying it is!” I growled and snatched the phone out of his hand when he was close enough, something that could have gotten me, well, I’m not sure what it would have gotten me if Dean was anyone besides the man I thought he was.  “What I’m saying is that this is the reason I, we, know so much about you, about your history and about hunting. This…family business… of yours, here in this world it might just be the two of you, but in that one, it’s a whole fandom?”

“A what?” Sam chuckled, which made me look up at him, “what the hell is a fandom?”

Danni laughed at that one, out loud enough so that she had to place her feet firmly on the ground in order to not fall over. 

“Yeah, well,” I said and cleared my throat as I smiled, “I guess I could see that being a new word for you. Um,” God, how exactly do you explain that to someone?  “Fans of the show as a collective whole is a Fandom, people who know enough about the characters and their lives, the way they operate, those are the people that make it up, people who would literally know Sam and Dean, that Sam and Dean, inside and out.”

“Okay, so this fandom is basically in love with these two pretty boys who are playing… us… while hunting monsters?”  This was Sam’s interpretation of my explanation.  Pretty boys?  I wanted to ask him if he realized just how gorgeous he really was, but I clamped my lips shut and nodded.  Sam, this Sam was so much darker than Jared Padalecki’s version and I had to keep reminding myself of that. “Great, so how many wanna-be hunters are there out in the world?”

“That I know of,” he nodded, “none.  I mean the fandom itself can be a little extreme but I don’t think I’ve actually heard of anyone going out and trying to hunt down these things.”

“Good, because I’m not going to go save some ass who decided this life was something glamorous because of a television show.”  Yeah, definitely darker than the other Sam.  I stood up from the bed and stuffed my hands into my pockets as I looked over at Dean, the one I needed to convince.

“So, plausible or completely mental?”  I questioned and watched as Dean leaned back against the wall, crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.

“Both,” he admitted. Well, at least that was a start.  “It doesn’t tell me one thing though.”

“Which is?”

“Why you didn’t just haul ass when you saw us in the diner.” This statement made me stop, and I know the look of confusion was evident on my face.  “I mean, if you knew our world was so dangerous, why stick around?”

“You’re kidding, right?”  I smiled and pulled my hands out, crossing my own arms.  “You, the one who was staring at me like I could have been your next conquest, you’re asking ME why instead of running I sat there and ate my dinner?”

“I wasn’t looking at you like that.”

“You kind of were,” Sam agreed and Dean gave him a hard look as if to tell him to shut up.

“I pointed her out to you!” 

“I’m just saying,” Sam raised his hands.

“Guys!”  I turned to Danni and gestured for her to step in at any time but she was just having way too much fun with it and I shook my head, before looking at them.  “Seriously, I didn’t know you were following a nest, hell, I didn’t actually believe I was seeing you. Not until Sam, here, decided that knocking on my door and telling me my headlight was out, way to lie by the way, was a really good idea.”

“You knocked on her door?”  Dean questioned and I leaned my head back, let my mouth hang open as I stared at the dirty ceiling.

“SO NOT THE POINT!”  I growled and brought my sights back down on them. 

“Let me ask something else then,” Dean sat down on the second double bed and leaned one arm down on his leg, before he looked up at me. I was watching something I thought wasn’t going to happen, I was seeing this darker Dean actually relax enough to not keep that stance he had, and while I wanted to smile, the question he was about to pose made me a little on edge.  “Cas,” and I knew it was coming, “you don’t know him really, but you know of him on the show.”

“No, I don’t know Cas, I only know of his relationship to the Sam and Dean on the show.”

“So when you said you knew an angel, when you told me about him?”  I could see the distrust in his eyes.

“I lied.”  I openly admitted that wasn’t one of my finest moments but I sat at the edge of the first bed, less than two feet from him and postured myself so that if either of the men felt the need to react, I was wide open for it.  “I needed to know just how far this went. Were angels real in this, well, your life and the only way to do that was to give up a name, because according to you angels are “just myths”?”

Dean lowered his eyes to the carpet.  Whatever had gone on between him and Cas was too painful for him to open up about and I could understand that, so I dropped the subject and just watched him for a moment before I stood.

I took a deep breath and looked at the man who was still standing, this time he was the guarded one, the one closed off by his arms, and I met his eyes with no fear.

“What about you?”  I whispered to Sam and watched him push off from the dresser, his jaw was set, his lips white with how tight they were pressed together and he came within a breath of me before he lowered his head enough so that the eye contact was unbreakable.

“The jury’s still out.” He answered and pivoted to walk into the bathroom.  I closed my eyes, swallowed and let everything settle because for the first time in almost 24 hours, there was a peaceful silence.

I nodded, took a deep breath and walked out of the room. I could feel someone following me, and I made it as far as to the middle of the parking lot before I stopped, stared up at the sky and tried to capture the emotions that surrounded me.

“Hey,” Danni whispered as she walked up beside me, watched me take a few deep breaths as I stepped back and forth, not sure if I was going forward or back, but I know I wasn’t standing still.  My lips were quivering as I turned to look at her and the tears cascaded down my cheeks.  Not ones of fear or anger, or even guilt or thankfulness, just ones of holding back for too long.  “You gonna be okay?”  I smiled at her, gave a slight laugh and placed my hands on my hips. “Are you okay with this?”

“No,” I answered.  “I not okay with this, I’m not okay with any of it.”  I turned towards the Impala, towards the room and bit my lip before I continued, still making my body sway, unable to stay planted.  “I’m not okay with dragging you into the middle of it, not okay with the fact that no matter what we do now, they’re not giving up, they’re not giving ME up.  I’m not okay with vampires or hunters or this whole insane turn of events.  I’m not okay with it, Danni.” I paused for just a beat and shook my head. “I’m not.”

Her arms were tightly around my neck before I knew what was going on, and I let myself be held by the woman who was just about an inch taller than me. It was something solid, something real I could hold onto and I closed my eyes, returning her embrace as I heard the sound of boots on the gravel stop.  Sam had been wearing them, I knew because I had listened to them exit the car at the diner, noting the way he moved so that I could pinpoint him anywhere, but I didn’t acknowledge him because I knew that he had heard every word I had said.

So Sam and Dean knew, they accepted, for the most part but what to do next was weighing on my mind.  That question, the reason Danni had come to meet me in the first place, so I could follow her home was met with one uncertain predicament.

What the hell are we going to tell her husband?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's always an interesting turn of events when you have a Winchester on each side and a monster on your tail.

Chapter 6

I found myself back on the edge of the bed again, this time not bothering to look at anyone as I leaned forward, elbows on my knees staring at the shady looking spot on the carpet. I was trying not to think of anything, or anyone in particular when I realized that my rental car was sitting on the side of the road with six very dead and very decapitated vampires.

I let out a growl, apparently one that captured the attention of one specific man, and let myself flop back on the bed, with my knees to the edge of the bed and my feet on the floor. Danni laughed as she found herself at the table with said specific man and I turned my head in that direction.

"My Goddamned car!" I snapped and placed my hands over my head, and before I turned my eyes away, I watched Sam scan me over. Dean let out a snort, and I glanced at him as he still occupied the other bed. For some reason he had his boot in his hand, was playing with the laces and apparently amused by what I was going through. "It's not funny, Dean, my insurance is going to go through the roof, and I'm supposed to drive that sucker home."

"I took care of it," he stated softly, without looking up at me as he pulled that boot back on. This made me sit up, and stare at him, my lower arms against my legs and he happened a glance before the smile widened on his face. "Sorry, you just look a little high strung when it comes to that car, so I called someone to take care of it."

"Not that I don't appreciate it, but exactly _how_ did you take care of it?" I questioned softly. The evil grin on Dean's face made me red in the cheeks because for all his Deanisms, he was still sexy, especially when the laugh lines around his eyes crinkled.

He turned to me, sitting at the corner of the bed and leaned in, closing the space between us until either I could easily move in and kiss him, or he was going to fall off the bed, neither of which was going to happen.

"Let's just say, I know a guy, who knows a guy." He reached out and patted me on the knee before he stood and made his way to the small green cooler that he had brought in and grabbed a beer out of it. "I'm going out to smoke a butt, anyone need something from the car?" I had followed him as he moved, and while my ears trained on Dean's words, my eyes were caught in Sam's gaze. "No, sweet, I'll be outside if you need me, scrubbing the image of the bedroom eyes the two of you keep giving each other from my mind."

My mouth dropped as Sam smiled, watching Dean leave, but he turned those blue-green eyes back to me. His comment, his "jury's still out" little remark still played in my mind as I got up and went to the bathroom, but I didn't close the door fully, just enough so that they wouldn't see me standing at the sink.

I breathed in and out, a shaky breath with each exhale and stared into my own bloodshot eyes for what felt like forever when the door creaked inwards and I stood up straight. Sam slipped in, as if the crack between the door and the frame didn't get any wider and he cleared his throat as he locked my eyes in a stare still looking in the mirror.

"I was wrong," he said softly and let my head fall forward.

"There wasn't anything that you needed to be right for," I whispered and braced myself. I stiffened as his fingers lightly touched my lower back. "Stop!" I turned quickly and looked up at him, knowing just how close this little space was going to make us and it was hard not to run smack-dab into his chest. "Don't apologize, don't use the words "I'm" and any form of the word "sorry" in the next half dozen sentences! Just don't!"

"Why a half-dozen?" He smiled and I tried not to be affected by it but that wasn't working.

"I don't know, it was the closest thing to a number that I could pull out of my ass with you…" my words were cut off as his hands came up quickly to my cheeks and his lips pressed against mine, wet and warm, pulling me in for a kiss. The shock that ran through me was nearly enough to jumpstart a car but I was finally able to come to my senses and grab both his wrists with my hand. When he backed away he was just as breathless as I was, but his forehead rested lightly against mine. "What was that for?"

"I thought maybe it would cover at least half of that half-dozen." He stated playfully and I pushed his hands away but I didn't let go, I just held them tightly.

"Sam," it was meant to be a statement but it came out more like a breathless need and the touch of his forehead was replaced by the feel of his lips against that same spot.

"I know you don't want this, our involvement in your life, but I can't let you go out there and not know you're safe," he sighed, his lips moving against me as he spoke.

"It's just been a long time since I've had someone fighting to defend me," I answered and our gazes met as he backed away, his back bumping against the wall, leaving less than two feet between us. "As much as I would want to walk away right now, I couldn't, not until I knew that you weren't hurting anymore."

"Then you better plan on sticking around forever," he grinned, "this isn't exactly a live until you're 90 kind of job."

"Yeah," I half-smiled, "I kind of got that."

I let go of one of his hands as my eyes moved down his shirt. It wasn't that he was still bleeding, at least I didn't think so, but the shirt he wore still had the bloodstains on it and I reached out just to make sure that it was dry.

"Do you want to check it?" He gave me a devilish grin and I knew he just wanted me to touch him, but I smiled away and nodded, because, dammit if I didn't need him or need to feel something solid.

I expected him to pull it up just a little but before I knew it, I was staring at his bare chest, and he was holding that shirt in his hand. There was nothing wrong with his bandage, nothing wrong with the wound, and he knew it, but I went through the motions like I had been.

The instant I touched the warmth of his skin, just the tips of my fingers, I heard him let his head drop back, heard it hit the wall and I spread my fingers wide over his navel while I tugged at the tape with my other hand. I wasn't sure what he liked more, the feeling of my touch or the pain that came with removing the tape, because as I did both, I listened to the little sounds of him responding to the pull of the tape on the fine hair that ran down from his chest and disappeared beneath the button of his jeans.

With the edge of it opened, I pulled back the gauze and inspected the wound, still tight, still looking good, and I raised an eyebrow at him as I looked up.

"Nice move, Sammy," I winked and gingerly put the tape back before I removed my touch from him completely. I watched the line of his jaw clench, as if he were pissed at himself for reacting that way to just a simple touch, but then I realized, it wasn't anger that he was feeling, it was what Dean had said in the car, confusion on the reason why he was reacting that way towards me. "This is just as foreign to you, isn't it?"

"What?" He asked, not picking his head up, but his eyes came down to meet mine, "the need to protect someone, to feel them?" I didn't give him any indication on which way I wanted the answer to go and I watched as he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it is." I watched as he used his hand to rub down the scruff on his face, before clearing his throat. "Dean and I, we've never been ones to settle for anything. One night things are, you know, kind of our deal, but with you…" he sighed, "with you it feels different."

"So, I'm not just a job?" I smiled and watched as the smile tried to form on his lips but he shook his head.

"You never were," he admitted, "but there's a reason that we're alone in this."

"It's hard to do your job and keep one eye on someone who might become a liability," I finished for him and watched as he nodded.

"Did your show tell you that?" The little bit of jealousy in his voice made me grin.

"No, the job description kind of did," I shrugged. "Moving around, never staying in one place, hunting things that could kill you, running towards the danger while everyone else is running away. You need to be focused on that, not on some helpless woman that could get you killed."

"You're not helpless," he said softly. I tugged his shirt out of his hand and pressed it against his chest as I raised an eyebrow and opened the door.

"Who said I was talking about me?" I replied with just the right amount of snark and watched the smile cross his lips just before I left the room.

Danni was waiting at the table, looking a little bit lost and I pulled out the chair across from her, sitting down to focus on her thoughtful expression. Both of us looked up as Sam came out of the bathroom, pulling the shirt down over his head, just as Dean came back into the room. The older one stopped, watched the motion of his younger brother and gave him the most adorable look, and I say adorable lightly because it was a mix of confusion and possible thoughts of sexual subtext.

"So, what are we going to tell Wayne?" I questioned and looked over at Danni.

"Wait, you're still going home?" Dean asked, snapping around so that he was facing both of us, to which both of us answered with a nod of our heads. "You can't."

"The hell I can't!" Danni snapped and Dean looked at her in shock. Her eyes flashed at me with a look of uncertainty and I could see there was something else just below the surface that was bothering her. "I can't stay at a hotel with two men, especially not you two, and I already told him that she and I were headed back as soon as we could."

"That's your plan, just to head home?"

"Yeah." I closed my eyes because I could see it bubbling up to an argument already.

"You do realize that there are _vampires_ after her ass? I mean, come on, we've had this conversation already. You can't just trail them back to your place."

"You're right, but if you want to protect her," Danni said pointing at me, "you're just going to have to do it from the comfort of that baby out there."

"We just park somewhere and watch?"

"I bet you like to watch," her words were dripping with sarcasm, but Dean narrowed his eyes.

"We can't protect her from the inside of a car, Danni. There has got to be a better plan than that."

"Can we not talk about me like I'm not in the freaking room?" I snapped and watched them both look at me. "This is what we need to do, Dean, keep up with as much a normal appearance as we can, blend in, hell, go home, if they think we've given up on fighting them, then maybe you can take care of the rest of the nest."

"Not a bad plan," Sam mumbled.

"Shut up!" Dean growled glancing back at his brother before turning to rest his eyes on the two of us. "You're both insane."

"Most of the best people are." Danni answered back and I watched as Sam smiled at the banter.

"Do you even know how to kill them?" But he wasn't looking at me when he said it, he was staring at her. Danni gave a wide grin and nodded. "How, because of a show?"

"No, because I'm not stupid!" She answered and rose from the chair. I watched as she stopped right in front of the man that towered over her, not intimidated in the slightest and, though I'm not sure what she did because her back was too me, I watched Dean's eyes widen. "If you're coming, pack your shit, I'm leaving in 20 minutes."

I licked my lips as she walked by before biting down on my lower one and looked up at Dean trying to hide my smile.

"Jesus, you would never know that you two weren't really related," he stated, his eyes coming down to mine as he moved over to take the seat she just vacated. "She's just as pigheaded as you are."

"No one ever said family had to be blood." I smiled, but it faded from my lips as I thought of Bobby. "When did he die?"

"I'm not sure," his confession shocked me just a little that he knew just who I was referring to as he grabbed his weapon from his waist band and the bandana from his pocket, polishing the gun as I looked at him, "we weren't there when it happened."

"What?" I felt my whole expression drop and Dean looked up at me, concern spreading across his expression, as the blood drained from my face.

"He was hunting a changeling in West Virginia," Sam spoke up and moved to crouch down in front of me. I could feel the weight of his hands on my knees as I tried to focus on what he was telling me. "We were…we think we were in Arkansas when it happened. The call came in months after that Bobby hadn't been home, and we couldn't track him down."

"You didn't talk to him for months?" I questioned and watched Sam glance in his brother's direction.

"We had a falling out about a year before, only talked to him when he needed help with a case or we needed information on whatever baddie we were chasing." Dean grumbled but there was no other emotion in his voice, like he had turned it off.

"It was probably about a year after we learned that he was gone that we found him, by then…" I raised a hand and closed my eyes.

"Yeah, I get it." I swallowed back the pain and felt Sam brush my cheek, before he stepped away.

They both gave me a minute to collect my thoughts and even though I tried to keep clear of the subject, my mind wandered to Cas and if they didn't know what had happened to Bobby until it was too late, how did they know Cas was okay?

I stood up quickly, cleared my throat and ran my hand through my hair. "Are we going?"

"Yeah," Dean whispered and stood as Sam tried to catch my attention but I nodded, looked around to see if there was anything in the room that I needed and before he could grab my arm, I was out the door.

"Bobby?" Danni whispered as I finished telling her what the boys had told me and she glanced at me from behind the wheel of the car, before staring blankly at the road ahead of her. "Well, they can't be our Sam and Dean and still be this Sam and Dean."

"Do you realize how weird that sounds?" I tried to smile as she nodded, but I stared out at the side view mirror thinking about the headlights that followed us down the highway. "Hey," I turned back to her again and adjusted to get comfortable in the seat, "what did you do to Dean?"

"What are you talking about?" She tried to play off being confused but I watched the smile creep up on her cheeks.

"Don't pull that crap with me, you know exactly what I'm talking about." I laughed and watched as she licked her lips and raised an eyebrow as she snuck in a glace between the oncoming cars.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She flashed a grin and laughed as I sighed. "Besides, I'm not the one coming out of the bathroom with a half-naked Winchester right behind me."

"I was checking his bandage." I answered, probably too quickly to be convincing and watched as she kept on grinning.

"Ah-huh."

"So what's our plan when we get home?" I asked quickly changing the subject.

"The neighbor's house, the one across the pasture, you know Charlie and his wife."

"Yeah, I remember you telling me about them."

"Snow birds," she shrugged, "I have the code for the garage, there's a gate that faces our house. It's not more than three hundred feet from our front door, plus if they get cold, there's a wood stove."

"So we're putting them up in the garage for the night?" I thought for a moment about Dean and how much he would love to get his hands on some good wax for his perfect car and I gave her a nod. "Sounds like the perfect place, but," I turned to her again, "that means you didn't tell him did you?"

"Well, here's the deal, there's no right way to explain to any man that you're coming home with two guys like that, no matter what way you spin the coin, it's going to end badly." She did have a valid point and it saved us from explaining to him why they looked exactly (aside from Dean's scar) like the boys on the show, which was something he watched. "I have some supplies as far as food that we can bring up to them, plus there's probably a fully stocked pantry for the non-perishables."

I watched as she swallowed hard and couldn't help but think of her face earlier. "What is it?"

"What do you mean?" I raised a brow in her direction, waiting for her to just spill. "Okay, so the last few days, actually since Friday morning, Wayne has been acting different."

"Different as in jealous different or different as in a dingo stole my baby different."

"What?" She looked at me quickly and I couldn't help but smile. "Neither of those make any sense! No, like almost possessed. He's not eating, not sleeping, questions everything and strangely enough, it's about you. He wanted me to leave a list of all the stuff we were going to do, even your check in times and places you were planning to stay."

"Okay, so did you give them to him?"

"No," she shrugged, "it was a bit weird. I love him but something is definitely going on. He said might make himself scarce after dinner tonight, but I don't know, something about the way he's acting is bothering me."

"Want me to run down the whole supernatural laundry lists of "have you noticed"?" I smiled and watched her give me a grin, but shake her head. "Seriously, I mean if we're talking in terms of how much weirder this week could get, um, yeah, I'm pretty sure that nothing's going to top having to explain Sam and Dean to the real Sam and Dean."

"You have a point, maybe it's just a thing he's going through, you know, knowing we'll be on the road the whole week." I wanted to smile and reassure there but there was just nagging feeling and this voice in the back of my head, that told me, yeah, something was definitely off. "I'm sure he'll come out for the bonfire."

"Yeah," I whispered, and watched the concern on her face, "me too."

My phone vibrated in my back pocket just as she finished explaining and I pulled it out to see a number on the screen that I didn't recognize, but on the ID was Sam's name in capital letters. Danni looked at me strangely as I swiped the phone and placed it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Al, it's Sam." I knew that and I was pretty sure he knew that I got that part. "The next rest stop we come to, can you have Danni pull in, Dean's got to get gas."

"Yeah, I'll have her stop at the next one," I replied and looked over at her. Danni rolled her eyes, contemplated actually telling them no, but shrugged. "She'll stop."

"Any guess on possibly how long?"

"ETA?" I asked Danni and she proceeded to flip me off.

"Ten minutes." She replied smiling as she answered and I shook my head.

"I heard," he whispered to me. "Think I could steal you for a minute when we get there?"

"Need me to check your bandage again?" I grinned and listened to Danni let out a hearty laugh.

"No, just need to talk," he mumbled, trying to hide it from Dean. There was something in his voice that caught me, something just a little off.

"You okay, Sam?" I practically whispered into the phone.

"Yeah," he said clearing his throat, "yeah, I'm fine. Just, you know, when you get a few."

"Okay." I listened to the phone disconnect and I glanced over at Danni, curious as to what the hell just happened there.

"What's going on?" Danni questioned, knowing my silence for something more than just a comfortable paused.

"Nothing, Sam just wants a moment of my time," I shook my head, not that I had any idea why, but something in his voice made me worry. I bit down on my lip and nervously waited for what felt like forever for those ten minutes to be up


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scared, angry, confused, frustrated... utterly terrified. Yeah, just some of the emotions you go through when faced with the REAL Sam and Dean Winchester, and the fact that there are vampires on you tail. Would you survive an attack or are you the first five minutes of ever Supernatural episode?

Chapter 7

When we arrived at the rest stop, Danni pulled the Escape away from the pumps as Dean pulled through and stopped. With a deep breath, unsure of what the hell was about to happen, I watched Danni jump out, taking the keys with her, and while I was distracted enough to just sit there hesitating, a gentle tap on my window had me turning toward the glass and the frowning face of Sam Winchester.

I reached for the door, steadied my heart and stepped out next to him. Without a word, he gestured towards the picnic table that sat over on the grass not more than 20 feet away. We walked quietly together, his hands jammed into his coat pockets as he slowed his strides in order for me to keep up.

I didn't say a word as I hopped up onto the hard wood of the table top, discolored by years of being out in the sun and drowning rains, but I definitely kept my eyes on the man that was pacing like a caged animal in front of me.

I could tell that he wanted to say something, needed to say something but the way his eyes had gone hard, I knew that those words were just not coming to the forefront. The seconds ticked by and the more he paced, the more my heart started to race and finally I reached out for him, snagging his jacket on the way by.

His head snapped in my direction and I could almost see the cold solitude in his eyes, a coping mechanism that he must have developed to help control his emotions, but his gaze traveled down to my hand on his sleeve, and then up my arm to connect once again with mine. He let out a breath as I dropped my hold, as if that one little movement had been the slip in control that he was fighting.

"Sam," I whispered, more questioningly than anything, "what's going on?"

"I can't," he replied, with a frigid tone in his voice and he turned his body towards me. I felt the weight of his stare, the way he took me in and I shrugged. "I'm sorry, Al, but I can't."

"Can't what, Sam?" I wasn't sure about what exactly was going on, what he couldn't do. His expression and his eyes told me nothing except whatever he was feeling he was trying to keep it locked away.

"I can't care about you," he admitted and I watched his chest puff up as he drew in a deep breath before slowly releasing it.

"Is that what this is all about? Trying to figure out your feelings for me?" I smiled, but felt the blush rise. "You don't have to care about me, I would…"

"What? Never expect it? From me?" His voice was harsh with anger, not aimed at me, but more aimed at himself. "Because I'm broken?"

"Are you?" I snapped back. "Are you really so broken inside that you wouldn't think you could let yourself care about anyone? Do you think losing Jess, or anyone else, means that you can't be loved or cared for?"

"Honestly," he paused, "yes."

"You're life hasn't been easy, I get that, but it doesn't mean that you're not allowed to be loved, that you are supposed to spend every day of it without someone worrying about you." I put my hands down on the wood and gripped the edge of the table tightly. "Sam, pain makes us human, loss makes us aware of our humanity, but it doesn't mean close yourself off."

"It does!" He growled, and it was such a strong noise that I sat up straight, glancing over at the pumps where Dean stood, suddenly looking in our direction. Danni came around the backside of the car and gave me a questioning look but I just raised my hand and gave it a little shake, telling her to stay away before I raised my eyes to those fuming bright ones. "I can't do my job, I can't protect you if I'm constantly thinking about you, always wanting to…to feel you. Do you know what that's like? To be so numb for so long and then suddenly have something tangible to grasp onto?"

"Are you asking me if I've ever felt unwanted, incapable?" I smiled and nodded. "Oh, hell yes, every day of my life for the last thirteen years when I failed at a marriage that struggled to keep afloat. I've been numb for so long, Sammy, so long that I forgot what it feels like to let someone else in."

"It's not the same!"

"Bullshit!" I watched that animal return as he started to pace once more. "Your _job_ may be to protect me, but it doesn't mean you have to care, or feel anything, that's your choice."

"Then I chose not to feel it!" He stopped pacing and stared me down, the anger in his eyes and the defensive state of his body told me that if I pushed him, he might break and with this Sam, there was no telling what was coming.

"Then don't." I moved to get off the table, looked down for half a second to get my distance between the bottom of my shoe and the soil but when I looked up, I saw the confusion in his face, the battles that raged in side him, and I abandoned the thought of running away from him. "This is about Jessica, isn't it?"

"No!" he barked, but took that one step to begin pacing again, before he stopped once again and looked at me. "Yes. It's always been about her."

"Then it's something you have to figure out, something you need to deal with before you try and figure out whatever "feelings" you think you have with me, or towards me, or about me." I groaned because the words just weren't coming out right.

My eyes focused on the two "older" siblings that were looking on, going about their own little pieces of business but I knew they had positioned themselves to be front and center should either one of us needed it. As much as Dean had opened up to me, Sam would always come first, he would always protect his brother, and Danni, well she didn't trust either one of them as far as she could throw them and the thought of letting me out of her sight just wasn't going to fly.

"Are we done?" I questioned, not sure what we had even accomplished by this little chat except that he couldn't care for me, or he wouldn't let himself think of the possibility. Sam closed his eyes, a gesture that I took as yep, we were finished with this discussion and I put my feet squarely on the bench and stood, but that was when it happened, with no warning what so ever.

His hands cupped my cheeks like they had in the bathroom and his kiss was as much bruising as it was filled with need and tenderness. I was standing at a perfect height, there was no need for him to bend to me, there was no reason for him to sweep me up in his arms, but one came away from my face, wrapping around my waist as the one he left slid back and tangled in my hair.

He pulled me closer, using his tongue to run a line against the heat of my mouth and the feeling of it sent shivers everywhere. This SAM, this man before me had probably done this with more women than I cared to imagine but at that moment, there was only us, there wasn't the thought of his history, of the way he spent his nights and I placed my palm against his face, the other around his neck.

Did we both need to feel something after the day we had, of course, but what I wanted to feel and how far I wanted to go were two separate things and I pushed at him, just a little confused and bit down on my lip before I slipped out of his embrace.

Angry with myself for letting him kiss me, especially after telling me that he couldn't, wouldn't care about me, I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth and walked past Danni without a word, headed straight for the bathroom.

Sam stepped up, not more than five steps behind me and as I ducked around, the corner, I stopped. I wasn't going in, that would require a key and there was no way I was going to backtrack to get one because that would open up the possibility that I would get cornered in that mess once again, so I closed my eyes, pressed every inch of me I could against the concrete on the backside of the building and listened, just listened to what was going on.

"What the hell did you do?" Danni's voice snapped.

"Let go of my arm." Sam replied and I could hear the growl in his voice but Danni wasn't backing down.

"I'll ask you again, what the hell did you do?

"Hey," Dean's gruff voice picked up as he moved closer, I could tell by the sound of his boots. "What the hell's going on? Where's Ali?"

"She headed towards the bathroom, running away from Sammy here."

"Don't call me that." Sam snapped and his voice seemed void of emotion.

"You gonna tell me what's going on, or are we going to play a game?" Danni scolded and I could just imagine Sam, who towered over her just as much as he did me, giving her this nasty look.

That was when I heard it, the snap of the twigs in the bushes just beyond the light of the backdoors. I opened my eyes and focused my ears on that noise, letting the sounds of the three people around the corner become just a little more than a muffle of voices. I unsnapped the clasp on the spectrum that I had hooked to my belt and drew it from the sheath.

_This...is a very bad idea! Go back to Sam and Dean, this is too dangerous._ The voice who had been quiet for some time screamed loudly in my head, and I swore I even felt a push against my own forward motion.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was stepping, almost tip-toeing in the direction of the sound as more twigs snapped, closer to where I was. I let the handle twirl loosely in my hands, knowing that a death grip on it when I first swung might mean that it went flying from my hands before I even got it where it needed to be. I paused, let my eyes adjust to the darkness as I stepped just past the edge of the light and immediately saw the outline of a person.

What the hell was I doing, I wasn't a hunter, I didn't have any training, and the reason I knew there was no way I was going to make it in that world was because my feet froze to the ground the moment it started walking towards me.

_Why aren't you listening to me, Ali? Go back...go back!_

What little instincts I prided myself on having kicked in and I grabbed the phone out of my back pocket. Holding it out just enough so that I could see, I swiped my finger around the pad, kicking on the flashlight mode but more importantly, I sent a call out to Sam, the last person to have called the phone.

I heard his voice from two directions, behind me by the cars and through the small device in my hand. Hello was one word, and my name, his nickname for me, was the second, and the last thing I heard before the whirlwind of excitement explodes around me.

_Swing, Ali, swing with everything you have!_

I dropped the phone the moment it advanced and did the only thing that I could think of, I listened to that voice, I swung. I swung hard, fast and multiple times, but there were three or more of them, or maybe there was just one and I was twirled into a strange state of consciousness. Every time it made contact, I could feel the resistance, every time it let loose from the flesh it marred, I could feel the ease of the swing, but I knew one thing for certain, I wasn't making any killing blows.

I felt the sting of every fresh cut that sang over the flesh on my arms, across my chest and I knew that whatever I was facing had the same kind of weapon I did because the searing pain of the sharp blades didn't match the itch of the scratches on my arm.

Finally, I had just about given up, knew that I was somewhere in the mix of whatever was trying to grab me when I felt the blade give against the thick skin of an abdomen, one just in reach of my arm, one tucked close to my body and I let my eyes adjust as I stared into the face of the small woman in front of me. She had black hair, dark eyes and was beautiful, aside from the fangs that she bared at me, but I yanked up on the knife, holding her tightly on the shoulder with my other arm.

That was when I caught the noises behind me, the grunts of punches thrown and taken, and I slowly backed away from her, yanking the blade out as I went. I was done playing, I was done being the prey and as I moved one foot back to brace myself, to let my arm swing through, I put every ounce of power behind that one quick swipe.

The knife caught, dragged and suddenly released as I stepped back, the spectrum at my side, dripping with the Asian woman's blood, and watched as her head went one way and her body went the other. Feeling all the fight go out of my legs, I hit the hard dirt with my knees, no bracing for impact, no way to reach out and cushion the blow. I knew I was covered in blood and cuts, and that the world behind me had gone silent once again.

Strong arms were suddenly upon me, wrapping snugly around my waist as I felt the bristled cheek of the green-eyed man, as I caught the scent of his last cigarette on his jacket and the soft whisper of encouragement as he tried to bring me to my feet but all I saw was darkness, the forest before me and the tinge of red on the outskirts of my vision.

I was lifted, carried as I lay limp in his arms, feeling the way his body moved as he covered the ground, still speaking to me, still not making any sense, and then the cool fabric of the Impala, the light scent of Sam and Dean surrounded me and a cool cloth washed over my face.

That was what did it, the coolness of the water that caressed my face, that was what brought me back because, I was suddenly staring into the eyes of someone beyond worried. I could hear again, and the voices, the noises bombarded me with beat of my heart. I pushed past Dean, moved out of the car and made it to the edge of the woods just in time for that noise, the buzz in my ear, to turn my stomach upside down and everything I had eaten that day came rushing to the surface and out.

It was Dean again that was holding me up, his body seemed to mold to mine from behind, his stomach pressed against my back, his legs against any part of me that they could touch, and his arm slipped around my waist again, while his free hand held my hair. His strong voice encouraged me to relax, to let it out, to let go and slowly I did, standing straight only to let my body weight press against him.

Once again, I felt weightless as he brought me to the car and set me down on that cool seat and my eyes began to focus. Sam was outside my line of sight, handing Dean clean towels, damp cold ones that made me shiver and I glanced up with sleepy eyes to Danni, who although very capable of taking care of me herself, stood guard, her hand on the small gun tucked at her side.

She would let the boys dote this time, because she was more concerned with keeping the three of us protected. She knew soon enough that the touching, the mother hen deal they were doing was going to become irritating and I was going to start slapping them away.

Dean was speaking, but his words were jumbled, and I felt my brows crease in wonder, and confusion. He shook his head, climbed in further with me and almost hoisted me from my position to lay me back on the seat, leaning over me as he did so, and he smiled, pushing the hair back from my face.

"Close your eyes," ah, the words were starting to make sense, though they didn't quite match the movement of his mouth, "go to sleep, we're going home."

Home? We were going home? I watched him back away, let the sudden exhaustion take over and my eyelids drifted shut as I tried with very little success to keep them open but even as my eyes betrayed me, my ears picked up the conversation outside.

"Look!" Dean snapped, shutting up the two bickering voices outside the car. "I don't give a rat's ass, who _you_ trust, and who _you_ don't," and by the emphasis on the two "yous" in that sentence I got the vision of him pointing first to one and then the other. "Get in the damn truck and show me where the hell we're going because I have to get her out of here now!"

"Dean!" Sam snapped.

"No, Sam, this time it's my way," he ordered, "you ride with Danni, you keep her safe, I'll keep this one tucked down and the sooner we get to a safe location, the better all of us will be."

"I don't..." Sam started again.

"And I…don't care!" Dean answered, before closing the door at the bottom of my feet. I felt the car rock as he slipped into the driver's side and closed it once again, giving him just a second to let out a small breath before he cranked the engine over and the car roared to life.

I heard the arguing, the sound of two distinct car doors and with that, felt the Impala back out of the parking spot. Strangely enough, my thoughts traveled to the phone I had dropped and the blade that was no longer in my grasp.

"Hang on, Kid," Dean growled, not in a bad way, but more of a distinctly protective manner. "We're gonna go and get you somewhere so we can clean you up, just lay still."

_Don't fall asleep, don't give in!_

"Dean?" I managed to get out, though I don't remember forming the word.

"I'm here, Kid, I gotcha," he mumbled, but I could hear the same doubt in his voice that Sam had in his when we were arguing. Neither of them wanted to care, but both of them did and that was throwing them way off their game. "Sam's with Danni and she's taking us home, okay, just…just hang in there."

I fought the darkness with everything in me but there was nothing left to fight with, and slowly I let the rocking of the car sooth me to sleep on the backseat of Baby for the second time that day, sending a silent apology to the voice that had tried to keep me conscious.

The lights that beamed through the rear window hit my eyelids like a cannon flash. I raised my arm up as high as it would go, and with the soreness in my muscles that wasn't very far, to block out the light. Everything hurt and in most places stung and I did my best to roll over onto my side and push myself up from the seat.

I couldn't hear anything except the pop of the engine cooling off and sound of it echoing off the building, but it was warm and I was, for the most part, dry, except for the blood that caked my shirt. Groaning as my eyes fluttered, I realized that I had a thrown up whatever my body was using as fuel and I was running on empty. I grabbed the door handle behind my head and pushed against it, nearly tumbling out of the car as I tried and failed to get to my feet without the aid of the sleek black machine.

Not having the will to stand up straight, I made it to the end of the car before I heard the footsteps somewhere behind or beside me, but I looked up at Sam as he skidded in behind me, helping my legs to support my waist.

"Easy, Al," he whispered against my ear as I turned and leaned against the warmth of his body instead of the cold steel of the car, and I felt his cheek press against the top of my head, his arms running up and down my back as he held me gently. "Where were you going?"

"Water?" I tried to laugh but it just came out a dry cough.

"Here," Danni whispered and Sam moved his arm so that she could touch the bottle to my lips, eagerly I drank, not realizing just how much fluid I had lost with the blood and being sick, but the scrapping of the chair across the concrete floor brought back flashes of the fight with the vampires and my body shook against Sam. "You need to sit down."

"Where are we?" I questioned and watched as Dean rearranged the table and chairs of whatever large building we were in to compensate for the fact that he needed to bring them to me and not me to them. Once I was able to sit, I knew that Danni would be on one side of me taking vitals and Sam would be on the other side, assessing the damage from whatever had cut me, but droopy-eyed, I stared at the man who sat across from me. "Hey," I whispered and watched the small smile reach his eyes, "don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Your fantasies?" Dean cracked a grin, but I raised an eyebrow and took the bottle of water Danni was holding out to me again.

"Ha, you wish!" I replied, took a sip of water, but tried to drink too much at one time and ended up coughing.

"That's what you get for not admitting your feelings," Dean teased and my eyes shifted to Sam, who leaned back in his seat and he reached over, placing his hand gently on the back of my neck. Dean licked his lips and sat forward. "So, you know I'm gonna ask what the hell possessed you to do that, right?"

"Well, now I do." Danni gave a little snort at that reply as she grabbed some shop towels and a bowl of water. I didn't realize what actual damage I took until she touched my face with cloth and I couldn't stop the wince of pain. "I'm covered in blood, is there a shower in this place?"

"Actually, a shower wouldn't be such a bad idea," Danni suggested and went to her car, grabbing my bag from the trunk. "Come on, you can pick on the boys later."

"You're going to have to help me," I whispered as I looked up at her, but I heard both of them clear their throats and I rolled my eyes, "to the shower, not in it, you pervs!"

Sam smiled as I found my strength to push myself up from the table, but Dean just watched me with a tight lipped grin and raised brows. Shaking my head at both of them, I let Danni hold me up as we walked slowly towards the back door labeled rest room. Not only was she hauling me, but she had the heavy overnight bag on her other arm.

"You scared the hell out of me," she snapped as I sat on the toilet and watched her go about pulling out shampoo, conditioner and soap.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that." I whispered and sniffled as the steam from the shower started to help my muscles relax. She walked over, looked down at me and raised one brow. Apparently, she was expecting me to do something because she suddenly crossed her arms.

"Well, you gonna get in or just let the bill go up?" I sighed, kicked off my shoes, and made my way towards the standing shower, pulling the shirt from my skin, at least until it stuck to the multiple cuts. Growling at my bad luck of getting my own shirt stuck, I could hear Danni laughing in the background. "Want some help?"

"Not if it comes with the price of amusing you," I snipped and suddenly felt the fabric ripped the rest of the way off my arms. Danni rolled her eyes and started to leave the room. "Hey, Danni," she glanced at me as I stood there in my bra and jeans, "you and Sam, you guys okay?"

"To be honest, I don't know what Sam and I are, I'm not even clear on what Dean and I are but I know one thing, they saved your ass tonight, so we're good," she smiled and glanced at the two of them out at the table. I looked past her to see them watching impatiently, "for now."

I smiled and nodded as she closed the door the same moment I reached for the buttons on my jeans.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of a vampire attack had me in a bit of a daze...

Chapter 8

The soap, the shampoo, the water, it stung everything and made my skin feel like I was on fire, but damn it was better than feeling nothing, or totally exhausted.  I had managed to get the bandage off the scratches before getting in, so I was able to inspect them, and happy to see they weren’t as angry and inflamed as they had been before.

I didn’t know how long I stood there after finishing with the general everyday needs of showering but I know that at some point I adjusted the spray and sat down along the back wall of it, letting the water hit me where I pulled my knees up to my chest.

There was a gentle knock on the door, one that I had come to recognize fairly quickly and I looked over at the large white shower curtain, as if I were supposed to be able to see him through it. Clearing my throat, it took me a moment to find the voice to put behind the words.

“Come in, Sam.”  I squeaked out, listened to the door open and shadow loom over the plastic, illuminated by the lights on the bathroom sink.  “Yes, I’m still alive in here.”

“Oh good, I was beginning to wonder.”  He sighed and sat down on the toilet seat right next to the wall that I was leaning against. I could see him through the space between the curtain and the wall and I rested my head back so that I could just watch him.  He leaned forward, placed his elbows on his knees and I watched his hand go up through his hair.  “Ali, about the rest stop.”

“Jesus, Sam, if you’re going to do this every time you’re in the bathroom with me, I’m going to start charging you Bathroom Confessional fees.”  I watched the smile that crossed his lips and his eyes flickered over to the space, his fingers folding together as he pressed his lips against his knuckles.  “I get that you’re scared, that it’s not your usual feeling.”

“I’m not…” he groaned and I watched his eyes as they meet mine, “scared, I’m not scared.”

“Then you have avoidance issues, I don’t know but really, you don’t need to explain everything to me.” I put my chin down on my arms as I crossed them over my knees and let the water cascade down for a moment.  “Let’s just be us, okay. Neither of us know how long we’re going to be here.  I mean I know I have to go home on Thursday, but, just for now, can’t we just be here?”

“Yeah,” he whispered and watched the corner of his lips turn up against the knuckle and he moved his head, placing his cheek there instead.  “That I think we can do.”

“Good.” I closed my eyes, listened to my stomach rumble and heard his deep laugh.  “Guess that means it’s time to get out.”

“You want me to leave?” He smiled boldly as I let the smile cross my lips and as much as I wanted to say no, he got the point and stood.  “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t offer to stay and keep you company. Or, you know, help you get dressed.”

“Yeah, well don’t wander far, I might need it with these cuts.” I laughed and watched him peek in on me, good thing I hadn’t moved.

“What cuts?” The concern in his voice trumped everything else he was feeling as I pressed my hands against my breasts, covering them just below the spot where the slices started and I let my legs move a little, just enough for him to see the extent of the damage.  He grabbed the towel off the rack, shut the shower off and handed it to me as he pushed the curtain aside.  “Get dressed, leave your shirt off, cover up with this and I’ll be back in a minute.”

The stern tone of his voice and the angry look on his face made me pull my knees up as I accepted the towel but he had already turned and walked out by the time I stood up and started the process of drying off and hopping into my jeans.  I took the towel, glanced between it and the bra and realized there would be little to no difference, so I slipped on the black, thin-strapped pull over, sat down and waited for him.  

Sam knocked quietly again, opened the door and looked up to say something but he just stopped, looked at my state of undress and swallowed. I had brushed out my hair and pulled it back in a ponytail, letting him see the ones on my neck as well.

With a sigh, he rolled up a dry towel and placed it on the floor in front of me as he proceeded to kneel between my legs. I listened to him exhale and watched his hand come up slowly as if he were afraid to touch me, but his callous fingers were soft against my skin as he traced by each of the cuts, none serious enough for real stitches but he was looking for those that might have needed a butterfly.

He traced over the one that lay on the curve of my left breast, where it dipped into the space between them and I closed my eyes.  I trusted him, I knew that now, I trusted him enough to let him touch me just like that and not go too far, and he didn’t disappoint.  He kept his touch almost feather soft and tender against every inch of the skin he caressed, but it was when he used two of his fingers to run over the ones on my neck, a few too close to the wrong spot, that I felt the goosebumps rise, and I let a little sigh slip.

“Sorry,” he whispered and pulled his hand back.  I smiled as I licked my lips, slowly opening my eyes as he sat back on his heels.

“I thought we talked about that.”  I whispered and watched him nod as he turned my arm, looking over the scratches and without a sound started to replace the butterflies that I had removed from it.  Once it was completely patched up, he placed his hands on my thighs, right by my knees and his face went hard, void of emotion and I knew he was thinking about something. “What now?”

“Now?”  He picked the shirt up that I had pulled out the bag and handed it to me. “Now you get dressed and we get you something to eat.”

He didn’t wait for a reply, he just walked out of the room with the first aid kit.  I was just finishing with my shirt when I looked up to see Dean leaning against the doorsill, giving me a sly little smile. I walked over and stopped dead less than a foot from him, my hands tucked into my back pockets as he straightened and looked down at me.

He tilted his head just a little as he looked over my face, down at the cuts that were visible along the scoop-neck edge of my shirt and I watched him narrow his eyes, bite the inside of his cheek, which moved his lips ever so slightly and then he sighed.

“That was a stupid move,” his voice was low, husky and just this side of scolding but I gave him a half-cocked smile as he closed the distance between us, wrapping the arm that was hidden inside the bathroom around my waist, slipping between the bend in my arm, his fingers drumming against the small of my back.  I felt the heat from his body, the sweet scent of his cologne and the tang of the cigarette, light but still fairly fresh on his shirt.

“I’ve done a lot of stupid moves, Dean, wanna clarify?” He rolled his eyes, his lips parting in a sigh and he picked his head up to look at Sam and Danni.  

“The one where you took on three vampires by yourself, what were you thinking?”  I watched that gaze come back to me and I moved my left hand from my pocket, pressing it against his chest as I played with the button of his open cotton shirt.

“I really wasn’t.” I shrugged and focused on that button that was between my fingers.

“Yeah, I got that,” he growled.  “You need to be more careful.”

“You need to be less of a control freak!” I smiled and looked up to meet his eyes.

“Yeah,” he sighed, his breath against my skin for only a moment, and he looked away again, “well.”  

He let his hand slip from my waist as he moved past me, leaving a gentle kiss on my forehead as his face went hard.  His walls went up, the same ones that Sam had fought with to let come down, but I could tell that Dean’s ran deeper, there was a pain that he would never get past, no matter who he held in his arms, who he let in his heart, if he ever did.

I watched him walk away, scrap the floor with the metal chair as he turned it, and straddled it facing Sam across the table.  Danni was next to him, her back once again to me and I watched Dean face her quickly. His brow creased as his eyes watched her lips and the expression on his face seemed full of surprise, but that’s when his lips puckered in annoyance, he gave his eyes a little roll and he turned away from her.

What the hell could she be saying to him that would get that kind of response? It was the second time that Danni and Dean exchanged words that I knew of that got some sort of silent look from him and not much more.  So what was she telling him that would keep him from responding?

~~~~~

Dinner, yep totally a thing and something I had forgotten completely about, but Danni reminded me as we managed to hop into her Escape and make the trek to her house, just around the corner and in complete visibility of the property the boys were currently occupying.

Danni stopped in the driveway, put the car in park and turned to look at me.  I smiled as she stared, and then turned towards her, the worry on her face was telling me I was about to get the lecture of a lifetime.

“Now that we’re away from your little fan-boys, we need to talk about something,” she started and it was probably the most angry tone I had ever heard from her, which definitely caught my attention. “Vampires, there are real freaking vampires.” 

It was amazing how she could sound just like Dean at times, and add the expressions to it and that “son of a bitch” phrase was almost deadly.

“Yeah, the first time at the hotel, it didn’t hit me but in the daylight, on the side of the road with my car, that was…scary as hell.” I sighed and looked down at the bandage that peeked out from under my shirt, waited a moment and looked up at her.  “This isn’t going to ruin our week, you know that right?”

“I just watched you practically fall out of the backseat of an Impala, one that is supposed to be a show prop, looking like you were on your last leg and this isn’t going to ruin our week?”  She laughed and turned to me, a teasing look in her eyes.  “Yeah, I guess picking up two strays could make it a bit more interesting.”

“I thought you said Dean was the angry stray.”  

“Yeah, that was until I had to spend a 45 minute drive with Mr. Grunt-and-Groan who pitched a bitch-fit because you were in the other car and he couldn’t call you.”  I shook my head, suddenly wanting to know everything she talked to him about, but she handed me the small device with the half-cracked screen.  “You’re mother called, twice.”

I took it and held it up, pressed my finger to the glass and watched it light up. “Huh, I guess they make these vamp proof too.”  I shot a text out to both Kathy and the kids, knowing that if it was close to ten where we were, it was almost eleven there, but I let them know that I was alive, had a mishap with the phone and was replacing it in Tulsa tomorrow since there was no way to get the thing to call out.  It lit up with replies and I smiled.  “Well, the family at home knows I’m here as safe as I can be.  Did you get my blade?”  

She reached behind the seat and picked up the cloth wrapped knife. “You might want to clean it really well before using it again.  It’s coated in monster guts.”

“And that whole phrase sounds perfectly normal, why?”  I questioned, laughing and watched as she grabbed the handle to the car.

“Because you and I, sis, we’re a couple of nutjobs!”  I watched her giggle as she hopped out and followed suit.  

Meeting Wayne wasn’t as stressful as I thought it might have been, especially with the two men sitting up the road, but I watched Danni’s eyes as she focused on her husband.  He did ask a lot of very strange questions, mostly about the scratches on my arms, which I knew right away was off because I had the sleeves of the flannel shirt I wore rolled down and buttoned, covering them completely.

He sat back in the chair, eyes curiously going over every move I made but the way he looked at me, something about it was familiar and not in a good way.  I had seen him on our Skype calls, and this was not the same man that I had spoken to numerous times.  Danni was right, something was just a little off here and I wasn’t sure just what.

She might have done them, I wasn’t sure, but I was certainly going down the list. Did I notice the smell of sulfur, no, none was apparent in the room, but then again, the roast was cooking all day. Did he pass the holy water test, probably would have or maybe wouldn’t have but I never got to figure it out because I didn’t have any, which meant I needed to remedy that.  I did however notice that he was using salt, which would have probably done something if he was possessed. Any of the rest of the signs weren’t at all visible while we were sitting at the table but that didn’t mean something supernatural wasn’t going on.

Wayne excused himself after we had finished dessert, and Danni and I cleaned up, packing some of the food into containers, which she placed in a cooler by the sink. The big plan of bringing the boys dinner would be set in motion in the not too distant future, which meant some irrational pacing and a ramped up sense of needing to move.  

But that was when I noticed the cats, they were all hiding, even as Danni called to them with offerings of meat. These were animals that came whenever we were on the phone, would circle the table like vultures whenever someone would sit at it and right then, at that very moment when food was freely offered, they were nowhere to be found.

What the hell was going on?

Before I knew it, I was well fed and sitting comfortably in “my” room, one that Danni had spent the last two months setting up for me but I couldn’t help but look out the window and try to imagine what Sam, was doing, because I was positive that Dean had found anything he might need to give Baby a tune-up and a good wax job.

_ You need to be more cautious.  _ The angry man voice in my head scolded me as I watched the darkness.  _ Sam and Dean can only protect you as long as you stay close to them. _

Way to reiterate the obvious voice man.  I didn’t even know where the thoughts were coming front, the strange little interruptions that filled my head, but I knew one thing, whoever my subconscious had dreamed up to be my voice of reason was right, I needed to be more on my toes, and needed to stay by the boys, especially with the strange events going on right inside Danni’s house.

There was a knock on the door and I looked up as Danni stepped in, it wasn’t closed, she could have entered without the invitation but still, she moved and sat on the bed next to me.

“Amazing how they sneak into our thoughts like that, isn’t it?” She smiled, but all I did was sigh. Wild guess as to who I was thinking about, but she was right.  “What’s Sam’s issue? The whole hot and cold deal?”

“Well, Jess for one, me kind of being a liability to them for the other.  I mean, look what happened at the rest stop.” I flipped the phone in my hand, wanting to text but stopping myself. “I don’t know, I wish I was just a job to them. I mean I get that apparently I’m an enigma of some sort but these emotions that surround them both, they’re pretty intense.”

“So, now you’re onto both?”  She smiled and my eyes snapped up to hers.  She was brushing it off as a joke but I knew she had a thing for our Dean. 

I thought back to those ten minutes in the car, the ones that I had counted down in my head before we met back up with the boys. She had made a valid point when I told her I had no idea what Sam needed, and I wasn’t talking about the reason for the conversation, and she understood that, but her reply was one that stuck in my head.

I had been invested in the show since the beginning, I had watched our Sam and Dean grow, fell “in love” as much as any fan could with the emotions that they went through, their pain, their losses and those few and far between moments when they were happy. I was a Sam-girl, as they called us, but hooked to both, though I favored one just a bit more than the other, and here I was standing in real life with a man that resembled him in every way except the hard nature of his feelings.

I had already established a connection with him, from the moment he knocked on that hotel room door, but I had also grown one with Dean and while that confused the hell out of me, she knew I would never give up on Sam.  

I cleared my throat with a chuckle as I stared at her.  “Dean, yeah, so not going there.” I rubbed my face, the slight movement tugging on the cuts that graced my arms.  “He’s pretty freaking intense, more so than Sam and I’m not sure why he reacted the way he did at the stop, or even in the garage when I came out of the bathroom, but this thing between him and I, strictly platonic.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” she teased.

I knew she got my point, she was the Dean-girl, in fact that was how we said goodbye when we hung up, it was “Love ya, Sam” or “Love ya, Dean” and there were no two ways about who was who.  I was the research computer geek with the background knowledge and she was the closet genius with the hair-trigger temper.

“We’re going to have to make a trip back up there in a little bit, to you know, feed the animals.” She winked and I grinned.  “You ready for the next round with the Winchesters?”

“Yeah,” I wanted to say ‘not so much’ but inside I was actually craving it. “Just let me know when we’re headed out, not that I don’t think Dean has his sights locked on this place, but it would be good to give them a heads up.”

“Oh really, I would think that you’d want to walk in on Sam in the shower.”  Even as she said those words the images flashed through my mind and I rolled my eyes. Yeah, Sam half naked was hot as sin but the thought of those jeans gone from his body, ten times better and I felt the heat rush to my face. “Ah-huh, I thought so.”  

~~~~~

Danni and I walked quietly across the field, probably not the best idea when you have a nest of vampires after you, but then again, we weren’t really caring about what might be going on. I didn’t mention my worry about Wayne, or what I noticed about the cats, but I did know one things, we were in the open, flashlights in hand and nothing to hide behind as we made our way towards the garage. Probably not the best situation for what we had encountered in the last few days.

Just before we stepped onto the gravel not more than 30 feet from the entrance, the rolling door slid up and Dean stood there, his arms crossed with a disappointed look on his face. He narrowed his eyes at me as I passed but grumbled and shut the door behind us.

“Thought you had some smarts, Porter,” the roughness brought out the irritation in his voice and I crossed my arms as I looked at me. I stood there, my eyes slowly drifting up from the bottom of his black boots to the way his jeans hugged his hips, slowly up past the way his tee-shirt tightened on his chest until I rested on his green eyes, which he rolled. “You done?  Got a good look?”

“Well, you’re still dressed, aren’t you?”  I shrugged and walked by, leaving him standing there with shock written across his face as Danni started laughing. 

Glancing back over my shoulder, I watched as he shook his head and turned to follow us over to the table.  Baby had been moved to another spot and the ground under her was still wet from the bath she had gotten.  The table remained where he had set it but it was now graced with several empty beer bottles and one half empty bottle of Jack, but I was quick to notice the absence in the room as Dean helped himself to the food that Danni pulled out of the cooler.

“Where’s Sam?”  I asked and watched as Dean looked up, a mouthful of the roast that was heaped onto the plate he held.

“Making the rounds,” he replied, or at least that was what I thought he had said.   I watched the man with curiosity, knowing full well that he could feel my eyes on him as he sat down, grabbed the half-empty beer in front of him and took a swallow to wash down what was left before he looked at me from under his lashes.  “He should be in any minute, Ali, just relax.”

“I’m sorry, have we met?”  I questioned and started towards the front door. I heard Dean sigh as the chair dragged against the concrete and there had to have been only about four steps of those boots before his hand was wrapped around my arm once again. He pulled me gently to a stop and I turned to gaze up in his direction. “Please don’t give me a lecture, go eat your dinner.”

“I wasn’t going to lecture you,” he whispered, leaning in close to my ear, and I closed my eyes as his breath brushed my skin, but that was when I heard the slide on his 1911 and I turned to look at him.  In the little space between us, as we both looked down, heads justthisclose, I watched as he held out his gun, not just any gun, but HIS.  He offered it grip first and I found myself reaching out for it with shaking hands.  “You can’t go after Sammy unarmed and I’m tired of telling you that, when I know that you’re more than capable.”

“Dean,” I spoke softly and wrapped my hand around the cold ivory plates that adorned the grip, he slowly let his hand back away and I could feel the weight of it in my palm.  The hand that had offered me the weapon brushed my cheek as we both continued to look down. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it,” he replied but I could hear the smile in his voice as he picked his head up and got close to my ear once more. “Watch the kickback on it, it might send you flying.”

With that he turned and walked back towards the table, leaving me to watch after him and to see the smile on Danni’s face.  She knew it was a huge step in trust for him to not only give me a gun, but his gun, the one he would never part with and I took a deep breath before continuing towards the door. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what, Winchesters are the biggest pains in the... ugh! You'll see!

Chapter 9

The night air had turned electric and I could feel the hair on my arms begin to prickle.  A storm was brewing and with no lightning in the sky yet, I couldn’t quite pinpoint where, but I pulled the flashlight from my pocket and clicked it on.  Lighting up the walkway in front of me, I held the gun with the barrel pointed to the ground but remembered that Dean had chambered a round so I had to be very careful with the safety.

Guns didn’t really make me nervous, I mean I had fired them off before, a lot of times actually, but being that this was Dean’s gun and I had been warned about the kickback, I was a little shaky on using it.  I wanted to yell out for Sam, to just call to him and figure out what direction he had gone in, but the current in the air didn’t just have the hair on my arms up, it also had my heart racing.

I tried to breathe through the anxiety that raced around my system, heightening the sense of danger that surrounded me, because at that point, I knew it was all in my head.  The fact that I had been ambushed not once but twice while out in the open was in the forefront of my thoughts and I didn’t want to be that helpless again, no matter what Dean thought I was capable of.

I turned the corner, ready to act but there was nothing but the darkness as I stood straight, let my body relax and lowered the gun by my side, my trigger finger far…far away from that one little sweet spot on the gun.  With as quiet as a release that I could get, I let the breath flow from my lungs and I slowly lifted the flashlight to scan the area.

The kick of the gravel behind me had me twirling in my spot, but I resisted bringing the gun up incase Sam was the one that stood behind me, but there was nothing but the empty space between the house and the garage.  My heartbeat quickened, but my hands remained surprisingly steady. I refused to be scared, but anxious was something I found I had little control over.

“Al?” Sam’s voice questioned and slowly I turned to look at him as he stepped out from the darkness behind me.  He looked down from the flashlight to the gun that shined against the beams and he automatically raised his hands.  “What are you doing out here?”

I watched him take a curious step forward, full of caution and that was when I heard it, the slight whisper of Latin that slipped from his mouth.  I turned the gun skillfully in my hand so that I was holding the barrel as the distance between us faded and I honed in on the words he was saying.

When I was finally able to interrupt, he was standing less than two feet from me, not even enough of a length for me to get the gun up and fire without missing.

“Sam,” I smiled, “te rogamus, audi nos.”

“You’re right,” he said and let his shoulders relax as he held his hand out for the gun, “you’re Latin is just as good as you’re Enochian.”  I narrowed my eyes at him and gave a little shake before I placed the grip in his palm.

“How do you even know what my Enochian sounds like?” I grumbled as a tight smile formed across his lips.

“Well, you said you know it as well as you know your Latin, and honestly, it could use some work.” I just wanted to slap him, but he was right, I hadn’t majored in any kind of Latin and I didn’t have an angel to help me with my pronunciation, so I just watched as he made sure the gun was safe before he tucked it away.  He stuffed his hands in his pockets once the gun disappeared and he looked down at me with a sigh.  “Do you want me to pull a Dean?”

“Meaning do I want you to be an asshole and tell me how dangerous it is for me to be outside walking around with a gun I can’t use looking for a man I’m not sure I can have?” I contemplated for a moment as he let the words sink in and watched me shake my head.  “No, I think I got your brother down and I don’t need a repeat lecture from you.”

“Man you can’t have?”  He gave me a fake grin, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and I flicked off the flashlight, stuffing it and my hands into my pocket.  Sam reached out, flicked at the knife at my side so that the nylon sheath hit my leg.  “Did you clean it?”

“Yeah, it’s all de-gored and sanitized.”  I watched as the side of his lip turned up. 

“Come on, let’s get you inside, some sort of storm is coming, I can feel it.” 

Sam stepped up to me, but I didn’t move, I wasn’t sure EXACTLY why I didn’t, but I just kept my feet planted as he closed the distance.  For a moment, I stared up at him, let it really sink in that this man, though he resembled the Sam I had watched grow, was his own person.  I looked at the hard lines of his face, the purple that dotted under his eyes, the way those eyes stared at everything with a stern anger, a mistrust, and even his stance reflected how on edge he was, how he never let his guard down except for that one miniscule amount of time when he looked at me like THAT!

The blue-green oceans that locked me into a battle I couldn’t win filled with emotions, want, need, clarity, and just a hint of kicking himself in the ass for everything he was feeling, but that jaw set and those eyes went cold as he looked away.  HE looked AWAY. His hand reached out, cupped my shoulder as he turned me around, and the two of us walked, not touching and in silence back to the door.  I heard him sigh, like he wasn’t ready for what Dean would say, or how he would be but that lasted all of a second when he heard his name.

“SAMMY!”  Dean screamed and Sam’s grasp on the door came with a hard yank as it nearly swung completely open.  The two of us rushed in and stopped halfway across the floor as we spotted Dean sitting at the table, staring in either complete disgust or about to have a heart attack.

“Dean?”  Sam questioned, but there was a little softness in the way he said his brother’s name and he moved closer.  I watched the way Danni smiled, in fact she was silently laughing as Dean held my tablet in his hands, about five inches bigger than the cell phone I had handed him before and I looked at her questioningly.  “What’s going on?”

“We’re a couple of pansies, that’s what’s going on!”  Dean snapped and now I was curious enough to move my feet.  “What the hell is a Padaleski?”

“Padalecki.”  I smiled and stepped up as Sam took the tablet and pressed play on the device.  It was the latest con video from Seattle and I watched as Sam’s face went sour.  Shit, I thought to myself and after a moment of complete disregard for the fact that this man could bend me in half, I snatched the tablet away, I had watched that panel and I knew what was coming next. “Okay, enough of conventions!”

“What the hell, Ali?”  Danni said, which made me turn to look at her, but all I could do is shake my head.  “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I cleared my throat, “peachy. I was just thinking about Jim, and how we should probably check in on him.”

“What?” 

“Beaver.”  I replied and watched her eyes open wide as I handed her back the tablet.  Seattle was the last place that the actor who portrayed Bobby on screen had been set to make an appearance and with what they had told me, the visual of how they found him, I was pretty sure that seeing Jim onstage, an older, wiser version of the man that they couldn’t find, would set both off on a spiral.

“Oh, yeah, um, let me get right on that.”  Danni quickly stood and made her way over to towards the front of the car as she played with the device, but it was Dean, who sat forward at the table, elbows and forearms resting on it, with narrowed eyes as he looked my face over, that made me feel uneasy.

“Wanna tell me what that was about?”  His voice, just as hard as his eyes, made me give a noticeable shiver but I only shook my head. I watched as he sat back and pushed the chair away from the table, a motion that made me jump at the noise and I locked my eyes on him as he moved around to stand in front of me, within arm’s length. “Say I believe everything you told me about this show, about the people who played us, say I get that you know everyone we’ve ever come in contact with…”

“Not everyone.”  I growled through my teeth, not so sure why I was on the defensive, but Dean raised his hand, his finger alone silencing me.

“Say I trust that you wouldn’t lie to me, not now that the truth is out there,” I waited for the rest of his speech as I caught Sam’s movement out of the corner of my eyes as he moved around and handed Dean the gun.  So, yeah, I felt so totally safe at that moment, give the angry man a weapon, way to go Sam!  “Why would you clam up at a simple video?”

“Why do we do anything we do?” I answered, trying my hardest to avoid the question, but Dean shook his head. The man could snap me like a twig and here I was keeping something from him.

“Not exactly the answer I was looking for,” he pushed away from the table closing the distance, and while the storm outside was brewing, I could feel the one in here start to rage. “What are you hiding?”

“Do I look like I have any qualms about telling you how much of an ass you can be?” I snapped back and watched Danni’s attention draw towards us.  “Do I seem to have an issue voicing my opinion about how much I don’t want you hovering over my shoulder at every turn? About how I think this whole deal is a bunch of crap because, come on, vampires?  And yeah, I get that they’re real, and I get that they’re coming for me but I’m not the idiot that grabbed a tablet and started Googling myself!”

“You’re pushing it,” he snarled through clenched teeth.

I leaned forward, locking my eyes with him.  The anger inside me was coming to the surface and even though I didn’t want to hurt him, I just couldn’t stop the words from coming out.

“I haven’t touched on pushing it yet, Winchester!”  I barked back and felt Danni’s hand on my arm. I knew it was her because I could see Sam standing there, his arms crossed his expression blank but ready for action just like his brother. “Stay or go, to me it doesn’t matter, it’s your choice.  I never asked for your protection, I think we covered that before. I didn’t ask for you to become an overbearing, angry, Son of a Bitch with a black knight-in-shining-chrome complex, and I certainly didn’t ask to have to explain every little freaking detail of my thoughts.  So, you, Dean Winchester, can go screw yourself.”

I turned away, ripping my arm from Danni’s grasp as I marched back toward the door, letting it slam behind me as I walked away. Not all that sure of what I had just done, not even remotely aware of where those words had come from, but the anger that I felt, the frustration was too much and I had to walk away.

Dean Winchester, the most infuriating man I have ever met, was in my thoughts no matter how much I paced.  He had such a flip-flop personality that sometime I felt like I was getting whiplash just watching the way the emotions changed in his eyes.  So why was I thinking about him, why was I so concerned that I had not only shaken the hornet’s nest but hurt the man,  _ again _ , in the process?  

I had told him once that on any other given day, I would have kept them both, but now it felt like I just needed them gone.  I wasn’t prepared for the emotions that came with the Winchesters, I wasn’t remotely ready for anything that my brain and my heart needed from them, and not just one, but them both and not in the same way.  

I needed Dean’s strength, his protective side, his gentleness when it came out. The way he held me close when he wanted to check on me, and the way he whispered in my ear, but I needed Sam for all those reasons and more.

That one, that man, there was so many feelings that he drew from me that I couldn’t blink and register one before the other was pulling at me in the opposite direction. I wanted his touch, his kiss, the way his fingers felt tracing my skin, the urgency in his words and in his actions.  I needed that control, the one that I had seen slip more than once in my presence and I needed it to let go, needed him to just release its hold.

UGH! Stupid freaking Winchesters!

I heard the door open, I heard Danni’s voice as she snapped. “I swear to God if she’s somewhere hurting, I will have you by the balls!”

“You know, between the two of you,” Dean spoke up, his boots hitting the gravel hard, “I think I’ve had about a many threats as I’d like to take.  Let’s just find her and straighten this out.”

_ You should go back to them, Ali.  _  I shook my head at the voice, what would he know, he was only in my head.  _ Something is close, I can sense it. _

_ You go back with them, voice man, I’m just going to stay out here for a little bit.  _  My inner voice responded and this gave me pause. Why was I responding to the voices in my head? 

I ducked between some cars, not ready to be found, but the thump of my heart had my adrenaline going.  I heard another set of boots as the door slammed shut.  Hell, if they really wanted the nest to know where we were hiding, I’m sure that would be a pretty clear sign.

“She drives me insane!” Sam growled as his voice joined the others.  “Sometimes I’m not sure if I want to strangle her or…” I listened to him stop, both his words and his feet and the image I got was Dean giving him a sly smile. “Not funny Dean.”

“Kind of funny, Sam.” The older one teased but that didn’t take the edge off his voice, the one filled with a “when I find her” kind of tone. “We’re gonna have to split up to find her, there’s too much to search if we stick together.”

“I’ll go with you,” Danni immediate snapped and I knew that she was giving Sam the eyes, you know, those “if we were alone, I’d shank you” kind of eyes. 

Dean grumbled, which echoed through the tunnel that the house and garage created, loud enough so that I could hear him, and as much as I wanted to smile, I let it slide as I stepped away from the car I was leaning on and headed out towards the side of the out buildings that surrounded the driveway.

What the hell was I thinking? But then again, I really wasn’t, I just needed to get away, to put some distance between me and these feelings. Apparently, against my better judgment, it was becoming a game, one that I wasn’t sure I wanted to play, because I heard Sam’s footsteps in my direction.

I wanted it to be more of a challenge, more than just an “I’ll just wait here then” moment but I was running out of spots to hide unless I backtracked towards the garage door, but then again, I had no idea what way Dean and Danni had gone.  

I ducked down as I moved, hoping my lack of height might make up for the fact that even though my footsteps were as silent as I could possibly get, I was terrible at hide and seek.  I thought I had all my bases covered, all of the ways that Sam could sneak up on me were in my line of sight, but somehow, he slipped through, somehow he got past my defenses.

I was up against as wall before I knew what hit me and the breath left my lungs with a whoosh. Sam’s body was pressed hard to mine, locking me in place as his large hands bunched my shirt between them and I looked up, half startled, half pissed off and felt those hand release the cloth, only to make their way to my hips, catching my waist with an almost bruising possession.

“Let me go, Sam!” I hissed through clenched teeth and reached out to push at his chest.

“Why are you so damned infuriating?” He questioned back as he leaned down, his forehead touching mine as he stayed, locking me there and I felt his leg snake between mine, applying pressure to the heat between them. A strange surge of pleasure raced through me and I cursed the noise he got from it. “Do you know what you do to me?”

“Tie you up in knots,” I laughed and felt his leg press in on me again.  I rolled my eyes as I let my head fall back against the wall. The boy was just giving enough pressure, and his hands hadn’t even moved. I felt him lean down his mouth bushing the lobe of my ear as his breath sent shivers down my spine.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” his whisper was made up of shaky breaths and growled words and I felt my heart jump, “but I need you.”

“And if I said you can’t have me?” I gave a gentle push on his ribs, just above the cut, the one thing I hadn’t looked at in a few hours, but the moan, almost one of pleasure and pain mixed slipped from him as his tongue flicked out against my ear. Dammit! Resist! Resist! Yeah, I could keep telling myself that, especially as his lips trailed across my cheek and stopped a breath away from my own. “Sam…” 

I was going to say something, I really was, but he pressed at me again, his hand running from my waist to the side of my neck and back to tangle gently in my hair. I knew what he was doing, finding something to grasp onto while fear and panic tried to take over, something he wasn’t used to, but they were feelings he knew too well.

He brushed against my mouth with just the faintest of passes, just enough so that I shook in his arms, feeling the one on my hips lower to the small of my back, along the seam of my jeans where it dipped and curved.  If this was going to happen every time we were together, I wasn’t sure how long I would last before I gave into everything he needed and everything I wanted.

He lifted me, as if I were the lightest thing in the world and I let my legs wrap around his waist.  I heard the grunt of pain as I hit those stitches but along with the grunt came the growl as if the pain was something he enjoyed and against my better judgment, I tested that theory. My hand moved from his chest, glided up to grasp his hair and as I gave it just a little yank, not sure if I was pulling him away or moving him closer, his lips crashed down on mine, claiming as he used the wall and his strength to hold me up.

I could feel him moving, rubbing along the insides of my thighs, and I wrapped around him the best I could as his mouth did amazing things.  I was lost in the feelings, the starbursts behind my eyes, the way that my body felt against his, as he pressed harder as if that would get him any closer.  But the sound that came from behind him had those lips ripped away from me. His head turned, his eyes a cold sea of anger and protection and he released my hair, bracing himself against the wall as if to silently let me know it was time to let go. 

I unhooked my legs and slid down the length of him until my feet touched the ground and his hand, spread wide, spanned my back. He was still, his breathing, though moments before seemed to be rushed and frantic, was now silent and even. I watched as they scanned the area, listening with such intent that I thought for sure he was about to jump out of his skin, but instead of stepping back to look, he stepped closer to protect.

His hair, those brown locks that curved over his ears when he wanted to push them back, fell forward against his face, hiding his expression, making him look even more dangerous than he already was. In a flash, as if he were a whirl of light, I felt his heat leave, his body twirl and his arm, the one that was against my back was now a fist, swinging with such force that whatever it connected without instantly be grounded.  

It never came to that, never made contact with the man who stood behind him. Dean glared at his brother, a stoic look on his face as his eyes glared at Sam.  Danni was right behind him, a hand resting gently on Dean’s arm as the older brother stood with his hands buried deep in his jean pockets, an open invitation for Sam to finish his swing, but the younger brother only held his stance. And suddenly, I could hear the short breaths that burst through his nose, like a bull ready to charge.

“You done?”  Dean growled and Sam slowly lowered his arm, his fist still clenched as Dean looked past me.  “Both of you?  You done playing house? Because there’s something you have to see if you don’t mind the interruption in your playtime.”

Sam glanced at me, his fingers started to uncurl as he swallowed hard, his jaw still set and he looked back at his brother, only giving him a nod.

“Good,” with that, Dean headed away from us. Danni not far behind but giving me a concerned look.  

Sam found my hand, the one that had been so tied up in his hair that I could almost feel the strains of hair that had tangled around my fingers.  Without a word, whether still fuming from the interruption or reeling from the feelings of the whole incident, Sam never said a thing as we walked, but he never released his hold either. 

When we stopped at the edge of the light, where the house met the rest of the world, beyond the point where you could spot Danni’s house without aid, Dean came to a complete stop and shined the flashlight on the ground.  Sam stepped up beside him, with me not far behind and I felt Danni’s hand on my shoulder, as if bracing me for something I really didn’t want to see.

The trail from the light moved out from the tip of his boots and further, following the dark line of blood that contrasted against the brown grass that was just now starting to turn green. I felt Sam’s fingers tighten around mine as he tugged me closer, just instinctively protecting me but I also could make out the way his chest grew as he drew in a deep breath.

“Blood,” he whispered and that caught my attention.  Yeah, you could smell the cooper scent in the air as the flashlight finally fell on the source.  Not more than fifteen feet away lay the large mass of an animal, coated in blood and bite marks.  

I released Sam’s hand, something he attempted to pull me back from as I stepped forward, following that light.  I heard the click of a gun, knowing it was Danni’s from the direction of the sound and then suddenly I heard the slide of two more snapping into place.  I was the only one unarmed and here I thought it was a good idea to walk up to whatever mangled mess the vampires wanted to leave.

It wasn’t a horse, at least not that I could see in the dark, but another large animal.  Cow, maybe, but not one of Danni’s.  With a deep breath, I stepped backwards, running into the wall behind me and an arm that found its way around my waist. Just by the scent in the air, I knew who was holding me and I shivered because of all the nasty things I had said to him, Dean was still at my back, still protecting me, and I knew right then, no matter the words we exchanged, that would never change.

“This,” his breath was against my ear, low and full of warning, “this is why I try to keep you close.” His words were just this side of audible, not loud enough for Sam or Danni to hear as his free hand came around, the gun still at the ready and I imagine his eyes were scanning the darkness. “This is why, because if anything happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Do you understand?” I nodded, feeling the scruff of his five o’clock shadow scrape against my cheek. “Good! Come on, we need to get inside.”

He took my hand, his fingers knotting with mine as he tugged me away from the animal and passed his brother. I glanced up at Sam’s face, apparently unfazed by the way his brother lead me, as the younger of the two men still stared at the corpse that lay in the field.  I shot a look to Danni, who reached out to touch Sam’s arm.  With a huff, he snapped away from her touch, turned and followed suit, making sure with only his eyes, that Danni was following along.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, way to make me feel, like, a thousand times better because what is more deadly than vampires? Freaking tornadoes!” or "What if you don't wear pajamas?"

Chapter 10

Once inside the building, I watched as Dean dropped my hand and the two of them began to make sure the place was locked down.  Danni came to stand by me as the two of us watched Dean pop the trunk and begin to hand Sam weapons, lots of weapons and I recognized the black, rolled, leather pouch. Needles filled with the same dead man’s blood that the Mason jar had in it, and I shivered as I watched Dean place it on the table.

He stopped in front of me, as I watched Sam move effortlessly around the building doing something  that looked like wards, but at the same time I had never seen warding against vampires.  Dean cleared his throat, bringing my eyes back to focus on him and not his baby brother. He grabbed my hand, a little rough this time, and placed the grip of a small Walther in my palm.

“I assume you know how to use this,” he said with snark and the anger from our earlier conversation came flashing back, but I bit my tongue. “Good, from now on you’re not to go anywhere without it,” he put two full mags in my other hand.  “Aim for the head, anywhere else won’t do a thing.”

“Oh trust me, I’m not aiming anywhere else,” I snapped and heard him growl, deep in his throat as he took my arm, wrapped his fingers gently around it and tugged me over to the chair.  With just a little force, one that caught the attention of Sam, Dean literally sat me down on the seat and pulled his own closer.  I watched him sit with his legs apart, his elbows on his knees and he leaned forward to look up at me, searching my face with his eyes.  “What the hell could I have possibly done to piss you off now?”

“You haven’t done anything, okay,” he replied, as his hand came up and his eyes half closed, hoping to avoid an argument. “I know what happened earlier is, well, it’s probably my fault but listen, right now I just need to know some things.  I need you to be honest with me and just answer the damned questions.”

“Fine.” I replied and placed the gun on the table as Sam walked around to grab the chair directly in my line of sight, and Danni the one behind me. “What do you want to know?”

“I need to know exactly what kind of information you have on vampires.”  I raised my eyebrow at this and shook my head.

“I know a lot about them, do you want show or lore?” He gave me a snort, but not as loud and his lips turned up in a grin.

“Tell me what the show taught you.”

“Vampires can only be killed by cutting off their heads, dead man’s blood can slow them down, poison them if there’s enough but only a Red Queen move is going to end them. No stake through the heart, no garlic, no holy water or crosses.  That stuff doesn’t work.”  I shrugged, Dean braced his hand on his knee and used it to turn and look at Sam, who gave him an approving gesture and Dean turned his sights back to me. “But,” I sat forward myself, searching Dean’s face.  “Sam was putting up warding, he was using some kind of magic to seal this place.  That never came up, what was he doing?”

“Wow,” Sam grinned and leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms, looking a little impressed.  “How did you know I was warding?”

“Old magic,” I shrugged and watched him move to put his elbows on the table.  “I know a witch that knows a witch,” I answered and looked at Dean, whose eyes grew dark, “and we can leave that at that.”

“Okay, so there’s a little more that we can do against vampires than just the slice and dice,” he answered but didn’t give up any information. “What about the lore?”

“Vampires have been around for thousands of years, in one shape or form, way before Dracula, way before the formation of the church, and the Catholic and Christian religion.  Vampires go back…to the beginning,” I paused and watched as Dean sat back just a little bit. Danni smiled when I looked in her direction, encouraging me to go on.  “It’s the reason that the holy water and crosses don’t work, they’re just symbols.  I mean they thought if the person turned was devout that they would work but that’s not it.  They don’t work because it doesn’t do anything to the chemical makeup of the monster.  Dead man’s blood, that’s been a myth forever, never drink the last drop, they only take from the living because the virus, or what they think was a virus could only be passed through living cells.  It’s what the vampire craves, human red blood cells, that’s why they go for the lives ones.”

“What about the lore on how you change?”  Dean’s voice seemed to trigger everything I had ever read on the subject and I found myself getting pulled into my memories, the childhood terror of having someone standing over my dog, of it jerking as whatever it was fed from it and I lifted my head. 

“It’s transferred through the blood to blood contact, a bite from a werewolf will make you change into one, but from a vampire, the end result is always the same, the exchange of blood.  That’s how the virus spreads.  Once in contact with human blood, it mutates the healthy cells into that of the virus, taking over the body like a cancer, manipulating it so that there isn’t anything human left.” Sam gave me a “huh” from behind his brother but it was Dean’s green eyes, the ones that were now searching me, taking in everything I said, that I was locked into.  “You can be bitten, you can certainly die from it, but you’re not becoming one unless the vamp gets it into your system and saliva doesn’t transmit the way that blood does. Sunlight doesn’t hurt it because, hello, unless you’re full of gasoline, you’re not going to spontaneously combust, and while they may tend to stay inside during the day, it’s because the eyes never really adjust to the change, so the pupils don’t constrict or dilate which mean the sun literally hurts.”

“How do you know all of this?”  Dean whispered, leaning forward once again.  The image flashed back to the forefront, and I let myself visibly shake, watching Dean’s hand suddenly reached out and touched my leg.  “Hey, Ali?” he questioned, that voice striking a chord in me and I blinked back the memories.  “Easy, Kid, you don’t have to answer.”

“Research,” I stated and stood, moving away from his hand, putting the chair between us as I braced my fingers on the cold steel of the back of it.  “That’s all, I was obsessed as a kid, I just needed to know about them.”

“Yeah,” he replied, standing as he licked his lips, but I could tell that he saw under my lie, “I get it. I used to have an unhealthy obsession with angels, but like you, it’s not a subject I want to talk about.”

“I’m glad you understand.” I knew he really didn’t but he also knew that if he started to drill me about the vampires, I was going to start questioning about Cas and that was one subject neither one of us wanted to bring up.  “We really need to get some sleep, we’re supposed to go out towards Tulsa tomorrow.”

“Tulsa?”  Sam questioned and looked back and forth between Danni and I, “what’s in Tulsa?”

I shrugged, and looked towards Danni, who smiled and shrugged as well. “Girls shopping day.”  She replied and we both smiled as Sam rolled his eyes.

“Wait, you’re going to still go?”  Dean questioned, his eyes on Danni.

“Hell yes, we’re still going!”  She smiled and I watched Dean roll his eyes.  I could almost see the budding friendship between the two older siblings…well when they weren’t looking at each other like they were going to strangle the other. “Listen, you’re more than welcome to tag along, if that’s what you need to do to make sure Ali and Sammy are safe.”

“Don’t call me that.” Sam growled from the table and I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my lips at his aggravation. She was doing it to get a rise out of him, but I watched his eyes land on me and he gave me a wink.

“ANYway!” Danni stated sarcastically, “if you want to keep Ali and SAM safe, you’re just going to have to come along for the ride.”

Dean grumbled as he shook his head in disapproval but turned to look at Sam, who just shrugged his shoulders. “Well, if we’re gonna go along, you’re right, we’re all going to need some kind of shut eye.”

Sam stood from the table, picked up the gun that Dean had given me and walked over to stand by my side.  Danni grinned and watched the way that he placed his hand softly against the small of my back, like he was guarding me and that was when I turned.

“Hey,” I whispered and watched him look down, “I need to check that bandage again.”

“Oh, is that code for something now?”  Dean teased and smiled as he started to straighten up the mess of the beer cans.

“No, you ass!” I barked and watched him grin wider, “I’m worried he might have…when we were…” I stopped and let a breath out, grabbed Sam by the wrist and pulled at him. “Come on.”

I purposely left the bathroom door open this time as I tugged him in and pushed him against the wall.  Sam closed his eyes and put his head back as I grabbed the end of his shirt and lifted it up just past the bandages.  His hands were up, as if he were afraid to touch me, which might have been exactly what I was hoping for but he knew the moment he did, our night of shut eye might be completely thwarted.

“Have I ever told you that you’re a pain in my ass?”  I questioned as I pulled at the tape, happy that I had left the kit in the bathroom for just such and occasion.

“No, but I think I could tell.”  He smiled as his words came out in between the tugs on the tape. “Al, I’m fine.”

“And you’re not a very good liar, especially for someone in your line of work.” I looked up at him as I gently peeled the gauze away. As expected, my legs around him had done some damage but not enough to rip open a stitch. “How is it that you’re not in jail yet?”

“A very long run of bad luck.” He groaned as I found a soft towel, wet it with warm water and gently washed over it.  “I need to take a shower.”

“You can’t with these stitches.” I replied , and stopped for a moment, “unless they’re covered.”

I stepped out of the bathroom, made my way towards one of the desks in the room and searched for something that I had spotted earlier.  A plastic envelope.  When I returned, I had managed to fold it so that it fit over the stitches but he smiled at the new silver bracelet I wore.

“Is that duct tape?”  He laughed, as I pulled a strip from it.

“Yep, you know silence is golden, but duct tape is silver,” I stated, placing it against his skin, “and it’s waterproof.”

“So, shower and then what? Can I call you to put the bandage back on?” I stopped and looked up at him.

“Are you sleeping in Baby?” he creased his brows a little confused but nodded.  “When you’re done, just dry off and let it air, I’ll put a new one on in the morning.”

I pulled his shirt down and went to move away but the soft caress of his hand on my neck had me looking up at him once more.  I smiled as I stepped closer and put my hands on his chest and his arms wrapped snugly around me.

“I’m not going to kiss you,” he whispered, leaning down so that his lips were against my forehead.  “If I do, I’m not going to let you go, so I’m just going to do this for now.” He pulled me in letting me feel the heat from his body, the mixture of his cologne and body wash that I remembered from the jacket and I closed my eyes.

“You two love birds done in there?” Dean hollered as he peeked in and I felt Sam release me. Leave it to him to ruin a perfectly good hug.  I turned and looked at the older brother, whose brow was up and he was smiling like a devil before he clapped his hands in front of himself. “We gotta get going if you think you’re going to Tulsa tomorrow.”

“Yeah, fine, whatever!”  I grumbled and walked by him, slapping him lightly on the stomach with the back of my hand. I heard Dean give out a quick breath but the sounds of his boots followed me towards where Danni was standing.  I rolled my eyes as she smiled and snatched the gun from the table, tucking it in the belt behind my back.  This got Dean to stop and I glanced over my shoulder as his eyes moved from the way the gun pressed against my lower back up to my eyes.  “You done? Get a good look?”

He smiled as I repeated his words to him and he slowed down as he walked by me just to repeat what I had said to him. “Well, you’re still dressed, aren’t you?”

The smile that crossed my face was a bit too big and I shook my head as Sam also gave me a grin.  What a weird dynamic but hey, it was all in fun.  Dean came back around stuffing something from the trunk of the Impala in his pockets as he made sure to grab the mags that I had set on the table next to the gun and hand them back to me.

“Put them in your pocket like a good girl,” he stated dryly as he winked.

“Can I just shoot you in the foot or something?”  I questioned, completely serious, and he raised a finger as if to start a lecture but that finger came down and he looked me straight in the eyes.

“No!” he put it bluntly as he grabbed the cooler off the table that Danni had brought the food up in.  “I’m going to walk you down. Sammy, lock this place down.”

I glanced back at Sam as Danni looped her arm around mine and I watched the strange fear in his eyes.  I wasn’t sure what was making him more upset, the way we were leaving, or the fact that we were leaving at all.  He didn’t wave, not that I thought he would but he didn’t move from that spot until Dean, Danni and I were almost to the grass, 30 feet from the back of the building, and then I heard the door slide down with a loud metallic thump.

Dean was only a few feet in front of us, his flashlight trained on the ground but his gun was drawn and at the ready as he kept his eyes wide open for anything that might try to attack, but everything was quiet, too quiet.

“Do you hear that?” I questioned, whispering to Danni who was right beside me, her hand on the gun holster by her side.  She looked at me, listened above the noise of our footsteps and shook her head. “Exactly, where are the frogs?”

“What are you going on about?”  Dean questioned, slowly his steps so that we caught up with him.  He looked down at me as I raised my brows and then he glanced at Danni. “What is she talking about?”

“The peepers,” Danni smiled, and I turned to look at them because they now they both probably think I’m nuts.

I let out a breath, but both hands on my hips and turned to face both of them. “You don’t find it weird that there is nothing out here?  Like literally nothing, where are the bugs, the frogs, hell, the horses are quiet?  Does that not send smoke signals up about something not being right?”  I watched them both look at me. “No, nothing, you both got nothing?”  I watched the blank looks, threw my hands in the air and started to walk towards the house again.  “Okay, never mind.”

“Ali, wait!”  Dean laughed as he and Danni fought to catch up but when he finally did, his hand went to my neck instead of my arm this time and I felt his fingers curl against my skin.  “I get the frog thing, I do but it doesn’t mean anything is really wrong.”

“Really?” I stopped and glanced up at him.  “Let me know the last time you didn’t use the creatures around you to tell you something wasn’t right?” Dean stopped for a moment, he knew what I was talking about, the way you could tell if there was a predator near, especially a supernatural one, “everything scatters.”

“Okay, okay, don’t freak yourself out, let’s just get you inside.” 

“This happens before a storm or a tornado too,” Danni added which made me whip around to look at her.  There was something in her face, almost like a lie but not quite, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Oh, way to make me feel, like, a thousand times better because what is more deadly than vampires? Freaking tornados!” 

I felt panicked and started to shake, maybe it was the storm, or maybe I was just ramping myself up, but I felt Dean’s arms come around my waist and then up more around my shoulder as he kept his hand on my neck.  Why was this hard ass always freaking hugging me? But, at the same time, there was a feeling of being safe when he did it so I just decided to let go and my arms slipped inside the hunter’s layers he wore, finding the thinnest part of his wardrobe, a light black tee-shirt and I buried my head against his chest.

“Come on, Kid, we’re almost there.” He mumbled against my hair and I felt him step in the direction of the house. 

Danni’s hand came around and took mine as I became book ended between the two, both holding onto my hands.  Dean stopped us on the porch and I watched him tuck the gun into his belt, before digging into the pocket of his coat.  He held his hand out to each of us and I looked at the small bag that was in the palm of my hand.

“Witchcraft?”  I questioned and he did a double take when I said it.

“It’s a protection spell.” He answered with an attitude.  “Listen, if we can’t be here, just make sure you stick these in your pajama pants.

“What if you don’t wear pajamas?”  Danni smiled and I had never seen the blush rise so fast on a man before as his eyes, just his eyes moved in her direction and he looked her over from head to toe and back before he cleared his throat. “What? It’s an honest question.”

Dean grabbed hers back, untied the string and placed it over her neck like a necklace before he shifted uneasily and focused on me.

“Need me to do that to you too?” He inquired.

“You’re kidding right?  After you’re brother crashed through my window like that, I’m never sleeping naked again.”  Dean rolled his eyes in annoyance and looked directly at me.

“Just keep it on you, I don’t care how, I don’t want to know how, but don’t go anywhere without it.”

“So we have anti-vampire charms now?”  I listened to him growl as I went to open the bag and look inside but he put his hand over mine, making sure that I stopped and took the time to look at him.

“Promise me you’re not going to do anything stupid,” his voice was low and demanding.

“I promise if I plan on doing anything stupid, I’ll tell you first.”  I replied, pulled the string on the bag closed and stuffed it into my pocket.  Looking down at where my hand had gone, he reached out and snatched one of the mags from my jeans.  Holding it up so that I could see it, shook it a little.

“These are vamp bullets,” I looked at Danni.

“Oh so not only do you have witch killing bullets but now you have vamp ones too?”  I questioned and watched as he looked at me with a bit of shock.  “Didn’t think I knew about the witch ones, did you?”

“I keep forgetting you know more about our jobs than most people,” he said as he roughly pushed the mag back in my pocket.  “It’s all a little weird, okay?”

“Dean,” I put my hand on his left cheek and let my thumb run along that white scar, his eyelids closed as if the feeling of it being touched was new to him.  “We’ll be fine, just go back up with Sam and be safe.  We’ve got this covered.”

“Yeah, my little vamp hunter in training,” he snorted and leaned in quickly, kissing me on the forehead before he turned and disappeared into the night, never bothering to turn on the flashlight. 

I watched him go as Danni stepped up beside me, the cooler in hand and we both watched his silhouette in the darkness.

“You going to be okay?”

“I would be much better if people stopped asking me that, but yes, I’ll be fine.”  I smiled at her and watched as she gave me just that look.

“Ah-huh,” was her only reaction and she opened the door to the house, gesturing me to come inside. With one last look at the back side of Dean as he disappeared across the field, I stepped into the safety of the house, his little protection bag tightly in my hand.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Try explaining SuperWiki to a few hunters who had only been Googling themselves hours before. Oh this should be fun.

Chapter 11

The sun was shining in through the light curtain that blocked the window and I turned over, grumbled and reached for the phone that vibrated on the bed beside me, the light sound of Kaleo’s “Way Down We Go” created the mood for the next second, the mood of someone is going to hell for waking me up. I put the phone to my ear, put my arm over my eyes and pressed the accept button.

“This better be good,” I groaned.

“Wow,” I could hear Sam smiling over the line.

“Wow? You wake me up at six…” I glanced at the time, “six in the morning and all you can say is wow?”

“Actually, I was referring to how sexy your voice was when you wake up.” I felt the heat rush to my face as I sat there in silence for a minute. “I was calling to see if you were…”

“If you say “okay” I’m going to scream,” I growled and rolled my eyes. 

“Awake enough for coffee.” Sam finished and I let my breath go.

“Sorry, the whole Mother Hen thing bothers the crap out of me, and being constantly asked if I’m good, that bothers me more.” I cleared my throat and rolled over onto my side. “What are you doing up so early anyway? We left there at midnight.”

“Dean took the first shift, I slept until three, he’s asleep now.”  

“Three hours, Sam, go back to bed.”

“I can’t.” And that made me roll my eyes. Can’t was another word I was getting tired of hearing.

“Why not? It’s daylight, morning actually, the vamps would be in too much pain to come out and start crap now, just go curl up in the car.”

“I can’t because you’re not here.”  His voice was soft, as if it had taken a lot of effort to get that out and I smiled as I listened to him.

“I can come up, is that why you’re asking about coffee?” I sat up slowly in the bed, felt the bag that Dean had given me still tucked in my pocket and looked out the window at the figure that stood by the edge of the grass, dark against the light blue building. It was Sam, I could make out the way he stood, one hand up to the phone he was holding and the other stuffed in the pocket of his dark blue jeans. “You haven’t been standing there all night have you?”

“No, I make my rounds outside and then check the wards.  Hey, how did you know about them anyway?” He questioned and I felt myself become uneasy. Do I tell him, really let out a secret like that or do I keep it hidden because no matter how much I want to believe they would be forgiving, there are witch killing bullets in one of their guns?

“Old family friend, I used to watch her. I guess you just pick up things along the way.”  I found the clothes that I wanted to wear and put the phone on speaker as I shut the door and changed quickly, deodorant and all went on before I took Sam into the bathroom, put the phone on speaker and closed the door.  “How’s the stitches?”

He scoffed, “in need of your attention.”

Yeah, if that wasn’t a ploy to get me to touch him again, I don’t know what was.  I laughed as I brushed my teeth and after a moment grabbed the hairbrush.  Running it down the length of my hair I noticed the cuts on my neck and sighed.

“I’ve got to come up anyway, the kit is up there and I have to change the ones on my arm.”  I replied, because, yeah there was no way I was admitting that I was going up there just to lay my hands on him. I stepped from the bathroom and moved toward the kitchen, having slipped on my shoes while we talked but I found that Danni was already sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of her and a thermos full beside her.  “Sam, I’ll see you in a few, okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he replied and the phone went dead.

“Why are you awake?”  I laughed as I sat down to the mug she filled and pushed towards me.  I didn’t realized how many times I had already asked that question and she rolled her eyes. The small hints of hidden emotions that came and went on her face told me that there was definitely something up, something that I had missed.

“You’re kidding right, I get up at 5:30 my time every day, just like you.” I smiled and nodded. She had a point, we were all early birds and things were just not going to change.  “Sam’s up?”

“Yeah, took the morning shift, no surprise there, but he won’t go back to sleep so…” I picked up a pencil and tapped it on the thermos.  “I’m gonna guess we had the same idea.”

“Yeah, caffeinate the grumpy pair.” Danni laughed.

“Why did you let me go on last night about the vampires?  You know as much as I do about the show, you could have jumped in at any time.” I watched her turn in her seat to look at me.

“You think I’m stepping between you and Dean freaking Winchester, especially with how intense things were between you already?”  She smiled and shook her head.  “As much as I would love to give that boy a piece of my mind, he has something for you and there is no way I’m getting between that.”

“Dean and I, yeah, already told you it wasn’t going to happen.”  I answered and licked my lips, thinking about Sam.  “One intense Winchester gunning for my ass is enough, to have his older brother doing it, yeah, I’ll step back from that.”

“Therein lies the problem, you can’t step back, you’re just as much wrapped around Dean as you are Sam, even if there is no sexual tension there. Dean isn’t going to let anything happen to you, and he’s not going to let anyone get between you either.”  I watched her face darken just a bit, as if she were sad, or mad, or actually it was so hard to read but she shook her head.

“It’s a trust thing with him, Danni, and trust me, that little look he gave you before we came inside, well, I’m pretty sure the walls are coming down.” 

“It’s going to take a miracle or killing a vampire to put that boy’s mind at ease that I’m not a threat.”  I stood up, walked into the room and grabbed the blue flannel shirt that I had dug out.  Slipping it on before I reached the kitchen, I looked at her once again.

“Honestly, I would rather be the threat than be the job they need to protect.” 

“Oh, shut up, you love it and you know it!”  She laughed and I shook my head.  

“The doting is getting to be a little much,” I grabbed a muffin out of the middle of the table and she slapped my hand, “Ow! What was that for?”

“I was bringing them to the boys,” but her face was all smiles.  

“Yeah, and hello, vamp bait here, I have to eat too, you know.” I grinned and watched her raise a brow.  “So, plans?”

“We have to get going soon, it’s about an hour or so trip to Tulsa, but we have to get up and wake up the sleeping monster before we can even think about a plan.”

“You know what I thought of?”

“Sam…Sam… and probably Sam again.” She teased.

“Funny, ha ha...no!” I sighed, but she was actually right, thoughts of him actually brought up my next concern. “If we take Baby into Tulsa, with two guys who look like Jared and Jensen, we’re going to get mobbed.”

“Did you really think that they were Sam and Dean when you first saw them?” I thought back to the diner but she was right, I knew Dean looked familiar, knew Sam kicked my brain into overdrive but it wasn’t until I saw the Impala and put it together that I really thought about it.  “See,” she smiled, catching the thoughts by the expressions on my face, “there’s a slim possibility that someone approaches them, but they’re not exactly our Sam and Dean and they really don’t look like a clean cut Jared and Jensen.”

“One of these days I’m going to get that story of the scar out of Dean, even if it kills me.” I smiled but I watched it fade from her face.

“Speaking of stories, your vamp one, the whole reason you started research, pure crap!”  My eyes snapped up to hers, there was no way I was going to tell her, but I cleared my throat and placed my cup in the sink.  

“Well, story for another day.” I answered and took my coat from the rack.  She turned and looked at me, wondering why I wouldn’t just let it out and I smiled as I walked back to the room, placed the vampire protection bag in my pocket, stuffed the mags in there as well and I tucked the gun into the back of my belt before shrugging on my jacket when I exited.  “You ready to go?”

“Yep,” she mumbled, knowing she wasn’t going to get anything from me, and we headed out the door, until she turned and grabbed the plate of muffins and the thermos before following me again.

“Hey,” I paused at the door, looking at the suddenly vibrant cats that encroached on the kitchen.  “Where’s Wayne?”

“He, ah,” she paused and looked at her cat Turtle before she closed the door, looked at me with frustration and shrugged, “he’ll be gone for a few days.”

“Everything okay?” 

Danni stopped as we moved across the driveway, gave me a quick glance and shook her head. “Things are pretty bad, but not for supernatural reasons.”

There is was again, that little bit of doubt that made me think there was definitely something of the supernatural variety going on here.  I nodded, giving her space, and we headed towards the garage. 

~~~~~

We walked in silence, both of us on the ready for whatever, not that we thought there was anything out there, but even through the bright sunlight, the layer of fog that set on the field gave it an eerie feeling that made me wish we had just stayed with the boys.  The door to the garage was open, something I didn’t expect and I pulled out the gun, since Danni had her hands full and held it with both as I looked inside.  There wasn’t any noise, not even from the Impala, which had all the windows rolled down.

I nodded towards Danni and she got the gist as she moved cautiously towards the table.  I kept the gun low, but made sure that I was on my toes as I looked around the corners of every toolbox.  I glanced over at Danni, who had also drawn and was looking in the cracks.  The stairs to the small loft where the supplies were kept was just to my right and I made my way towards them.

Danni shook her head, narrowing her eyes at me as I pointed her to the Impala, wanting her to check on Dean, and finally she nodded as I made my way up the wooden steps, trying not to step in the middle. My back was against the wall, looking up as I took my time with the steps. 

Glancing through the slots in the railing, I could see Danni peeking into the car and she nodded, letting me know Dean was definitely in there.  I took a breath and stopped at the top of the stairs, my eyes scanned the room, watched for any movement but took a step in that direction.

It all happened so fast.  As soon as I was on steady ground, an arm wrapped around me, I twisted in the spot making sure the gun wasn’t between us as I tried my best to duck out of it. Another hand came down to grab the wrist that held the gun, good thing my wrist were small enough.  I switched hands quickly, keeping away from the trigger and popped my hand right out of his, but he twisted me once more, brought both hands around to capture my wrists, crossing my arms against me and I felt him pull me back against his chest.

“For such a small thing, you’re awful slippery.”  Sam’s voice whispered against my ear and I smiled, calming a little as I whistled loudly, which sent him a little off balance.  

I ducked down and twirled my arms and my wrists, breaking the hold on them both as I stood now facing him.  The impressed look on his face was followed by one of pure want.  Yes, Sam, you may have finally met your match, but we weren’t going there now. 

“So what was that? A little test?” I questioned, putting the gun back where I had originally kept it, tucked in my belt, but Sam shook his head.

“Not at first, I wanted to see what was up here, but heard you coming, thought I would see what you could do.”  He grinned at me, reached his hand out to move my hair from my shoulder but let his fingers slip down the dip in my shirt. “I’m pretty impressed.”

“You should be.” I winked and headed towards the stairway before he reached out and took my hand.  He was gentle this time, pulling me in close and he didn’t touch my face, just the skin next to my collarbone as he leaned down and brushed a kiss across my lips. “You might want to stop while you’re ahead, there’s no protection…”

“I have that covered,” he whispered in a growl.

“I meant for your stitches.” He laughed against my lips, a feeling that made me think of what else he could do with them and then I backed away.

Uh! This guy was going to be the death of me. 

Sam watched the blush creep up on my face, his thumb danced over my cheek as he grinned and then took my hand. “Come on, coffee is waiting.”

~~~~~

The room was quiet, or as quiet as it was going to get as Danni and I bantered back and forth about the plot to a new story we were kicking up and Sam sat back and watched.  The plotline was pretty in depth, the characters were multi-leveled and deeply crazy people, but when we finally took a breath, I sat back and looked at Sam.

“Thoughts, now that you’ve heard our rant?”  I questioned.

“You sure you two aren’t hunters?”  He replied and looked between us, “I mean just by sitting here listening, you’ve gone pretty in depth on three or four monsters, and I mean in depth to the point where Dean and I could use that information to track them down.”

“It all in the research,” Danni smiled and watched Sam actually looked at her with something that wasn’t disdain.  “This one here knows her away around more mythology sights than I can shake a stick at.”

“And she comes fully equipped with the knowledge for the hunts, tactical, I guess.”  I replied and smiled at her.  “It’s amazing what you can find on the internet.”

“So, being that it’s the internet, how do you know it’s real?”  He was now testing our limits.

“These really cool building called libraries.” I said and watched him give me “that look” as if he might just reach out and spank me.  “No seriously, I back my information up with actual text and don’t rely on Google, though SuperWiki is pretty accurate.”

“Super what?”  Dean’s voice questioned behind me and I did my best to keep my body still, but he had scared the crap out of me. He grabbed the thermos, poured himself a cup of the black stuff and downed it quickly before snatching a muffin and the seat beside me, looking me over as if I was some hussy that had just walked into a bar. “What’s up, Cupcake?”

“Call me cupcake again, Winchester and my foot will be  _ up _ ,” I whispered, leaning in close to him, “up your ass!”

“Wow, grouch much?”  He said as he winked and took a bit of the muffin. “So, this Super whatie-thing?”

“Web-based online resource for the Supernatural show, you know, where you two are a couple of pansies.”  Danni smiled and watched as Dean gave her a sarcastic smile, gave her a roll of his eyes, and went back to his breakfast.

“You two really do know a lot about this show,” Sam stated in a stoic voice, Danni nodded, but there was just something in the way he said it that made me hold off on my reaction.  “What have we done so far?”

“Probably shouldn’t go into that.”  I shook my head.

“Why, it’s not like it’s going to change the timeline, I mean, we’re here,” Dean shrugged, “where are your boys?”

“Don’t know, Lebanon would be my guess.” I watched as Dean stopped chewing and turned to look at Sam, whose face had gone completely sour.  “Oh, give me a break!  Tell me you don’t have a Men of Letters bunker in freaking Lebanon, Kansas?”

“Okay,” Dean mumbled with a mouth full of food.  “We’ll go with…I don’t know…Lawrence.”

“That’s where Sam and Dean were born.”  Danni spoke up, not really making it a statement but just stating a fact.

“We know,” Sam sighed, “we were born there too.” I stopped and looked at him, never really thinking that it would actually be a fact about these two as well, there were so many things that didn’t fit, but then there were the little thing that did.  “You were right, my mother died in a nursery fire when I was six months old, six months exactly.”

“Was it a demon?” I whispered and watched Dean swallow hard, but the look in Sam’s eyes took on a hardened steel expression, but he nodded.  “I’m sorry.”

“No need, it’s done.”  Sam said and sat back, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I looked over at Dean, who was eyeing his brother protectively.  My concern grew as he crossed his arms over his chest, essentially closing everyone out.  “When are we getting on the road?”

“Whenever you’re ready.” I pushed the chair out from underneath me, stood and walked over to the counter where I found the first aid kit, “but, Sam, first things first.”

“Yeah, give me a minute.”  He huffed, the sound of anger bubbled in his voice as I took the kit and headed towards the bathroom myself.

I heard Dean start to question his brother, “You okay, Sammy?”  

“I’m fine, Dean!”  He snapped and I heard the chair move, but the sound of his boots were walking away from me, not towards, so I just sighed and got on with removing the bandages from my arm, not my favorite thing in the world. 

I heard the door slide up, the Impala’s engine rumble and Dean groan when Sam chirped the tires taking it out into the sunlight. There was another scrap of the chair against the floor and I almost expected to see the older Winchester in the door but he too was walking away.  With a sigh, I brought my arm up to the mirror, used the light from the overhead to illuminate the scratches and used what I could to determine which spot could use a butterfly and which could be left well enough alone.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Danni and Dean were both standing by the open garage door, Dean leaning against it with his hands in his pockets and Danni was looking at him, a smile plastered on her face. This was a good sign, but I still didn’t see Sam anywhere, until I heard something drop above my head. 

I snatched the gauze and the tape and headed up towards the loft where I had caught Sam before, but this time he wasn’t lying in wait for me to come up with a gun, he was sitting on a box, with his elbows on his knees, pissed off and moody.  I wasn’t that I blamed him, I mean a memory like that, of battling that kind of evil really scars someone for life, but he glanced up at me from under his hair as I stepped forward.

“Looks like our older counterparts are starting to get along.”  I whispered and watched him give a slight nod but he didn’t move from where he was.  “I’m not going to stay long, I just want to put this on and then I’ll leave you alone.”

“No,” he whispered, it was just barely audible from where I stood less than two feet away, and his eyes focused in on his own hands. “You don’t have to leave.”

“Sam, if you need time alone…”

“I’m tired of being alone,” he sighed and sat back.  

He looked me over, at the small white bandages that decorated my lower arm and he reached out his hand, damn that boy could stretch out, and he captured my fingers before I could step back.  I let him pull me closer and I watched as he tried to sit up as much as he could to expose the line of stitches.

“Okay, well that angle isn’t going to work, you’re either going to have to stand up or lay down.”  I sighed and watched as he moved, grabbed a folded drop cloth from one of the boxes and put it down on the floor.  I smiled as he stretched out on the floor below me and pulled the shirt up so that I could see the area I needed to get too.  I swear he was the sexiest thing I had ever seen, but now it begged the question, how do I decide which way to put them on.

His eyes widened as I stepped over, placing one foot on either side of his hip and knelt down, not really putting my weight on his body but I could feel his left arm come down and his fingers gently touch my thigh.  Looking up at him, I leaned over and started my work, cleaning and taping up the area, but I used a smaller size this time, giving him a little more room to move.  

When I smoothed the last piece across the smooth skin of his stomach, my fingers went to those small scars on his ribs. I heard him breath in quickly but when I went to move away, thinking I was causing him discomfort, he placed his hand gently on mine, pressing it against the raised surface.

“These are from him, aren’t they?”  I whispered as I moved my fingers gently under the weight of his hand and even as he put his head back and closed his eyes, he gave me a little nod.  “Is that why you won’t let Cas heal them?”

“No one has ever guessed that,” he whispered, his hand moving up just so slightly that I had more of a free reign to touch the rest of them.  

“Dean’s scar?” I knew there had to be a reason behind it, but my guess would have been that Cas was healing it a little at a time, which was why it was such a contrast to so many other scars.

“Lucifer,” Sam smiled, and opened his eyes once he noticed I hadn’t even flinched at the name. “You know about that too?”

“The whole Michael and Luci’s vessel thing, time in hell?  Yeah I know of it, I don’t assume to know everything about it, or even what it must have been like.”  I had forgotten that I was supporting my own weight, and where I was sitting, until Sam’s other hand dropped down on my thigh and he closed his eyes again.  “So Lucifer did a number on him.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” Sam sighed and I watched his lips stretch taunt.

“When he was in you?”  I whispered, trying not to stir things up but his silence was as deafening as his worlds. “I’m sorry. You’ve gone through so much.”

Sam sat up quickly, his arms wrapped around me as his shirt fell to cover his scars and he looked me in the eyes, his thoughts going a mile a minute.

“You’re amazing,” he whispered, his face full of wonder, but I laughed at him.  

“Not so much.” I replied, placing both hands on his shoulders. 

“No, you really are. I’m glad you had your Sam and Dean, your connection to them because it make it so easy for me to feel like I can open up to you.” I smiled at him and watched the way his eyes seemed to glow.  “Do you know what it’s like only having your brother to tell your secrets to, to only have one person to confide in?  And then there are the times when what you need to let out, you can’t because it’s about the only person in your life?”

“I can’t imagine,” I took a deep breath, drew in the scent of him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in. I just held him, let myself feel him as he buried his face against my neck, breathing in and out deeply, not sure if he was trying to memorize my scent or trying to keep calm.

“I could stay right here forever.” He whispered, and I smiled but as much as I wanted to do that, there was no way.  I had until Thursday morning to figure this whole thing out.  Thursday… to get rid of the vampires on my ass and to figure out just what I was going to do with the man in my arms, and the one in my thoughts.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip into Tulsa with the boys, what could possibly go wrong there?

Chapter 12

It had been decided that we would ride down to Tulsa in Baby, this way there were weapons available and neither boy had to fit into  Danni’s Escape.  The upside of this, I didn’t have to drive, not a bad thing on this occasion, I was still exhausted but wide awake, which made my driving skills just a little rusty. Another upside, Danni didn’t have a chance to veer off the road at the mention of either boy due to the fact that she was crushing hard on one and pretty pissed off at the other.

The downside to this little agreement: I was sitting in the backseat of this absolutely beautiful car behind Dean, whose very scent drove me crazy, right down to that nip of his cigarette which he had finished hours ago.  Not sure why it was such a turn-on since I couldn’t stand them at all, but the tobacco in these was pure and the hint of it reminded me a little bit of danger, and possibly his lips wrapped around it. 

The other downfall: sitting in the backseat of this absolutely beautiful care behind _Dean_ , which gave me a perfect view of Sam’s profile, the edge of his jaw, the way his brown hair wisped against his face, the way his eyes brightened when he looked at his brother and smiled.  Yeah, whatever conversation they were having, I had tuned out long ago in exchange for memories of the loft and how we left it.  Straddling his lap, him holding me tight, and feeling him, ALL of him, even though he fought to control it, there wasn’t much you could do with yourself when you had someone who was just touching you, sitting on your lap.

The thoughts of his lips on mine, skin on skin, in that same position, bodies sweating, slick with want, his hair stuck to his face as he… Why the hell was he looking at me like that? 

I came back, full reality, to the real world, and to the giant smile on Sam’s face as he had turned in his seat, one arm over the back of it, looking like he might have read my thoughts because those were definitely bedroom eyes.

Dean cleared his throat, giving me less than a second to compose myself before my vision locked on the green eyes that stared at me through the rearview and my ears picked up Danni’s laugh beside me.

“What?”  I snapped, just a little bit of this side of “caught red handed”.  Sam ran a hand through his hair, a movement that had me instantly brought back to him and I rolled my eyes.

“What, ah, what were you thinking about right then, Cupcake?”  Dean teased and with my eyes still on Sam, I bit down on my lips.

“Not a damn thing,” I managed to get out and crossed my arms. “And don’t call me that.”

“Yeah, we could tell by the moan.” My head felt like I had done a 360 because I looked at Dean once more before I could blink.

“I did not moan!”  I argued.

“Yeah,” Sam smiled, pride in the fact that he knew why, “you kinda did.”

“Crap!” I mumbled under my breath and turned to Danni, who was laughing so hard that her face was turning red. She had her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound but there were tears running down her face.  “What the hell are you laughing at?”  Which only got her to laugh just a little bit harder and I put my head back against the seat, stared at the ceiling a little bit more and finally brought my attention back to the man who was STILL staring me down. “I… I have nothing to say in my defense.”

“Good,” he winked and looked me over from head to toe. Five minutes! Five minutes alone with that man, and no freaking conscious, and he wouldn’t be able to walk for a week, but there was no way I was telling him that. “You look tired.”

“She looks sexed up, what the hell did the two of you do while we were waiting on you?”  Dean questioned and his glances from the road went between the two of us. “Ah, never mind, I don’t need to know.”

“Probably better that way,” Sam answered, leaving a little mystery behind the fact that nothing actually happened beyond me tracing the scars along the soft skin of his ribs, listening to the small hiss of his voice as my fingers pressed… crap, this time I heard myself moan and I sunk down further in the seat.  “You gonna be okay?”

This time I couldn’t even get mad at the question, because no, I was certainly not going to be okay.  “Dean, can you pull over so Sam can hop in the backseat?”

“WHAT?” Dean snapped and looked at me, adjusting the mirror so he could look DOWN. “No way in hell, you two would probably stain my car and I don’t need to see Sam’s ass while I’m driving.”

Sam rolled his eyes and looked over at his brother, brow raised and then shook his head, but Dean cracked a smile that I hadn’t ever seen.  It was playful and loving and carefree and it looked amazing on him, and then there was Sam, whose smile made his cheeks red and his eyes glow and damn if they weren’t both the best things I had ever seen.

“Okay, so now that I have officially laughed my ass of,” Danni smiled as I turned my attention to her, “Dean, I need you to pull over at the gas station up ahead.”

“God, you’re worse than Sam, who I swear has to stop to pee every five minutes,” Dean bitched but flipped on the blinker as soon as he saw the gas station.  He pulled up to the pump, thinking he might as well top it off, as Danni got out of the car.

The next move was on Sam, who expertly slid over the seat and grabbed my legs, pulling me down so that I was lying beneath him, his hips setting comfortably between my thighs as he rested on his elbows beside my head.  His blue-green eyes were full of mischief as he pressed against me.                                                     

“No more moaning like that,” he whispered, leaning down so that my eyes focused on his but his lips were a breath away from mine, his hair falling like curtains around us as I smiled, licking my lips, which brought my tongue in contact with his mouth, and he let out a growl from deep in his chest.  “Or doing that, are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Big, badass, Sam Freaking Winchester, having a heart attack over a moan?”  I smiled and he pushed into my thighs which got the reaction he wanted, a roll of my eyes. “Yeah I could see how you would need me to stop. Do that again and I swear Dean’s just going to have to deal with your ass.”

“Hmm, oh no, for that, I have something special in mind.” So this was the Sam that I wanted, the darker, straightforward one that knew what he wanted and definitely had no problems telling or taking, and again I let out a breathless whimper. 

Sam swallowed hard, brushed his lips against mine, not softly but a claiming kiss that didn’t last long enough to say the least and he back away, cursing “son of a bitch” under his breath.  I scanned his body, what I could see as he leaned away from me and the evidence of how hot this was making him stretched the limits of his jeans.

“I can help you with that,” I whispered and watched as he shook his head just slightly, looking as if he was holding back a monster and just as quickly as he was there pulling me down, he was back in the front seat, and had turned to stare at me.  “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” The smile on his face was gone but that look, the one that said he could take me at any moment and I would enjoy everything he did to me, yeah, that was he look he was giving me now.  “You have some amazing self-control.”

“It’s slipping faster every second I’m alone with you,” he admitted and rubbed his face with one hand, the five o’clock shadow was getting to be thicker and I loved the scruffy look on him.

It was at that moment that both Danni and Dean slipped into the car, and with a childish grin on his face, Sam winked and sat to face the road.  Dean on the other hand thought it would be funny to twirl round the best he could in his seat and narrow his eyes at me.

“Stop corrupting my baby brother,” he said with what was supposed to be a protective voice but it came off as not so much.

“Dean,” I leaned forward so that our faces were maybe a hand’s width apart, “you obviously don’t know your brother as well as you think.”

“Oh I know him better than anyone, and you, Miss Cupcake, are downright dangerous to his reputation.” The smirk on his lips told me everything I need to know as he licked his lips, scanned over my face, rested on mine for a second before snapping up to look into my eyes.

“He’s far from a gentle wallflower, trust me.” I smiled and watched as Dean went to move back but suddenly he reached out and grabbed my shirt, kissed me quickly on the forehead, which was so not like the grouch that I had met two days ago, before he let me go, turned in his seat and cranked the car over. 

“So, breakfast, where I we going?”

“IHOP!” both Danni and I announced at the same time, which got Dean to spin around again.

“Did you two plan out the whole day?  Like seriously?”  Danni nodded and I just shrugged.  “Oh tell me we aren’t going into one of those pink, cutesy boutiques.”  Danni and I looked at each other and she winked, which made me give her a questioning look, okay pink and I, not a thing so what was she trying to pull. Dean rolled his eyes and turned around, putting the car in gear.  “Great!”

I tried to hide the smile from Danni about how she had just set off a Winchester ticking time bomb, but I just shook my head and curled up against the door, closing my eyes, as I crossed my arms over my chest.  I was floating in a light sleep before I understood what was going on but Tulsa wasn’t too far away and I knew I wouldn’t stay in that state forever.

“Hey, is she sleeping?”  Dean questioned, and I heard Sam shift in the seat.

“She’s probably exhausted, I mean, we’ve been running her ragged for two days.” Sam sighed. 

“She tossed and turned last night, so I’m not sure how much actual good sleep she got,” Danni’s voice popped up, “but I can tell you one thing.  She trusts you, Dean.”

“Why would you say that?” His voice was full of confusion.

“She adamantly refuses to be driven around,” Danni laughed, “why do you think she drove here in the first place.  And how much hell did she give you getting into Baby the first time.”

“Well, she kinda didn’t have a choice, vampires trashed her car.”  Sam added but I could hear the acknowledgment in his voice.  “Now that you mentioned it, even sleeping had to be something she was forced to do.”

“Yeah, because she doesn’t sleep when someone else is behind the wheel either.” Danni replied.

A “huh” from Dean in front of me had me shift slightly in my spot.  “So she trusts me to what, not crash into a tree?”

“I don’t know where the fear lies, but I know one thing, her sleeping now tells me a whole lot more than anything she could say.  She’s putting herself in your hands, both of you, and as much as that scares the hell out of her, she trusts you enough to do it.” 

She was right, I couldn’t stand not being in control, I had to have a plan for everything and not being behind that wheel, that was a big thing to give up. How fast we were going? What route were we taking? How can I get there from here? They were all questions that lead to one thing…what if…and I didn’t do well with what ifs.

“Well, we’ll get you where you need to be,” Dean sighed, “even if I have to drive her home myself, I’m not letting her out of my sight.”

“Mine either.”  Sam whispered, but his voice floated towards me, which meant that he was sitting in that seat again, staring me down.

~~~~~

The sound of a truck speeding by, the darkness that surrounded me, the headlights of the oncoming car.  The swerve of the road, the screeching of tires and the sound of the front end impacting what I thought was a brick wall, until the cold water started to swirl around me.

My chest was tight, the water was rising, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get the seatbelt undone as I tilted my head back as far as I could go.  I remembered the lights before my eyes, the way that the headlights on the car suddenly flickered and went out. The darkness closed in, the cold tightened every muscle in my body, there was no way out, no way to the surface. 

Water filled my lungs as I gasped for air.  There was nothing to grasp onto, my fingers had all but gone numb.  There was nothing I could do.  They say that drowning is the best way to die, but I wasn’t ready to die, I wanted to live, I wanted to go home to my kids, I wanted… no, I chose… life!  Instinct kicked in and I tilted the seat back, shimmied from the belt, and made my way through the smashed passenger’s side window, up towards the light, up towards the surface.  And when I finally broke through, finally found the way to breathe…

I sat up in the car, my eyes scanned the tan and black interior and waited, just waited for my heart to catch up with itself, for the one set of grass green eyes to register something other than worry.  Where was Sam, where was Danni?  Was I wet?  Did he pull me from the water?  Dean moved to Sam’s side of the car, did the same maneuver his younger brother had done earlier that morning and slid into the backseat.  I didn’t wait for him to even sit back, to get comfortable enough to accept me before I was in his arms.

Dean pulled me in, bringing me to his lap, holding me with such force that I wasn’t sure I would be able to breathe through the pain of the dream if he let go.  I grabbed his shirt, buried my face against his neck, just under his jaw and I heard him whispering, soft mindless words that really didn’t matter if they made sense.  He rocked me gently, one arm slipping lower so that he could grab me under the knees and tug me in closer. 

His face was nestled in the hair by my ear, as close as he could get to me, and I felt the strands catch on the itchy stubble that line his cheek.  I could hear him breathing, the puffs of warm air brushing over my skin as he continued to whisper, and then, he did the strangest thing.

He laughed.

I was in a panic, holding onto him for dear life, praying that when I opened my eyes I wouldn’t see that river swirling around me, that I would see him and not the night at that invaded my nightmares, but that laugh penetrated everything I feared, urging me out of the darkness, bringing me closer to reality and the feeling of his arms around me, his body beneath and beside me and his face so close to mine.

I groaned as I tilted my head back and he pulled away from me.  I watched those green eyes look me over and the hand that held my legs came up to caress my cheek, pushing the tear-dampened hair from my face as I stared at him with parted lips, trying to control the shudder in my breathing. His thumb danced over those lips, and I dared to close my eyes.  This was Dean, this was just how he was, this was just how he felt to me and it was great, and everything I needed but why did he laugh…why?

“You smell like Sammy,” he whispered, his eyes looking over my face, settling on my blue ones. 

“Sam?”  I whispered, and cracked a smile, but his lips didn’t follow, didn’t join me in the amusement.  “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“No,” he answered and the hold got just a bit more snug, “you’re the best thing that could have happened to him.  It’s not a bad thing, kinda weird, but not bad at all.”

“To smell like your brother?” I sighed and released his shirt enough so that I could trace his jaw.  It was weird to be held like this, but weirder still was the fact that it was weird for the strangest reasons.  Did I want Dean the way that I wanted Sam, not in the slightest, but Dean made me feel safe, just as safe as his brother, and if it meant being this close to him, I could certainly deal with it.  “I was drowning.”

“Well, I got you now, Kid.” He whispered softly, his lashes giving a long blink before he picked his head up and watched the other two approached.  “And I’m not letting go.”

“Why?”

“What?” he looked down at me with confusion.

“Dean, you’re a hunter, a hard ass and you trust like the other shoe is already on its way to hitting the floor, so why is it that you can’t let me go?”  I questioned, and I watched him look down at me again and his mouth moved as if he were trying to find the words, but he just sighed and clenched his jaw.

“Honestly,” he whispered, “I don’t know.”

I smiled at him, which got me a narrowed-eyed look of confusion. “You don’t have to know everything, especially about how you feel.”

“Yeah, well,” he grumbled as the front door opened and Sam stuck his head in, a bit confused to see me sitting on his brother’s lap.  Dean rolled his eyes, kissed me quickly on the forehead before he all but pushed me off and slid out the back door.  I smiled at him, got comfortable in my seat as Danni climbed in beside me and Sam closed the door. Dean moved behind the wheel and started the car. “Well, where to? You said IHOP, I don’t see an IHOP.”

“It’s not my fault the last rest stop didn’t have a bathroom.” Danni smiled as Sam turned around in the seat and gave me the once over.  I raised my eyebrows, gave a slight shrug and winked.

“How many times a week do you drive down here?” Dean questioned sarcastically.  I shook my head as Danni narrowed her eyes and gave him a snarky look in return.

“Where the hell are we?” I questioned and looked out the window, not that I could pick up where I was by looking at anything since it was pretty obvious by the way he was driving that Dean had certainly been there before, and Danni came into Tulsa all the time.

“We’re just around the corner.” Danni smiled.

~~~~~

The day seemed to flow from there, and sadly most of it I can’t remember, as if my mind was pulled in a multitude of different directions, as if I were lost in a world not quite my own.  Breakfast was interesting, as the four of us gathered around a small table, one much too tiny for their long legs and we talked loudly to each other, the bad dreams and scary monsters of the world forgotten if only for a moment.

I smiled as I watched this, the hardness fade from Dean’s eyes as his trust for the woman I knew began to grow, the wall in Sam’s crumbled as he found the will to reach out now and again for a touch, a hand, the small stroke of a finger down my arm.  Life had made them solid, almost impenetrable, but as I watched over crepes and bacon, pancakes and coffee,  as they softened, still edged like a sword but approachable.  Even Sam’s expression when he talked to Danni had eased up, there wasn’t that biting need for him to be defensive anymore.  He was relaxed.

We hit the shops after, looking for what we thought might be the perfect outfit because tomorrow, in our world we were booked to do a private photo shoot with an exact replica of the one we had driven into town.  But we hadn’t told the boys that yet, not until we were sure that they were comfortable. 

Before we knew what hit us, it was lunch time, and two six-foot-plus men were not ones to go around hungry without complaining about it in one form or another.  Chinese was next, a giant buffet of whatever food you wanted to grab and I had never seen two men more eager to dig in. 

I sat across from them, with my meager plate of food, glanced at both overfilled plates and raised an eye to Danni who sat beside me.

“Good thing it isn’t per plate, or I have a feeling the bill is going up.”  Danni laughed and I watched Dean scoop a spoonful of rice into his face as he looked up under his lashes at her, gave her a wink and went back, digging into the General Tso’s Chicken.  Sam looked over at his brother before trying to take his time but I watched his restraint.

“Eat, Sam, no one’s going to grab it from you and nothing’s going to jump you for it.”  I whispered, gently touching the thigh that was nearly touching every inch of mine with how short the tables were.  Sam’s eyes rolled at the gentle pressure of my fingers and decided I was right, before he dug in.

“I’m surprised that anything is opened considering it’s Easter.” Dean spoke up with a mouthful and I stopped what I was doing and stared at him.

“What?”  I whispered, not shocked that it was Easter, I didn’t celebrate anyway, but that I had totally missed it.

“Yeah, that’s a thing you know, bunnies and eggs, not that I get the connection.”  He shrugged and went back to his food.  I could hear it spinning, the thoughts of having let the kids down because I didn’t grab a basket for them, but I grabbed the phone and quickly sent a text.

“Hey, screens down!”  Danni smiled but I watched it fade.  “Never mind, keep going.”

My knees went a mile a minute as I waited for a text response to “OMG! I didn’t know it was Easter!” to Kathy, what I got back was a simple: “LOL. No worries, they got baskets and I just told them that you said Happy Easter!” To which I replied: “I’ll call as soon as I get the phone replaced. Love you, give the kids kisses.”

I sat back, able to breathe again and looked up at Sam, whose face was full of worry.  “Not going to ask.”

“Good,” I smiled at him and ran my finger over the denim that stretched over his thigh.  “There’s nothing to ask, everything is good.”

But I sat in silence for a while, picking at my food because if there was one thing I didn’t need to do it was bring the wrath of a nest of vampires down on my kids when I headed back home.  The thought of it plagued me all day, no matter what we did next, which included more shopping and a trip to Barnes and Noble before everything started to shut down for the night.  It was Sunday and five seemed to be everyone’s closing time.

I stood beside the Impala, leaning against it as I watched Dean and Danni talked just far enough away that I couldn’t hear, but I could just imagine the conversation.  I also watched the body language, Dean was closer this time, closing the space between them.  What started as a Grand Canyon, was now just a puddle jump before they were touching, which meant that they had finally established some level of trust.

“Hey,” Sam whispered as he stepped up beside me, leaned his arms on the roof of the car and smiled as I turned towards him.

“Hey yourself,” I smiled and he reached out, his brow creasing as thoughts came rushing at him and he played with the hair that lay over my shoulders.

“So, wanna tell me what I barged in on before breakfast.”  That’s right, this was the first time we had been alone all day, I mean alone enough to talk.  I turned my body towards him, ignoring the couple that were now walking in some giant loop.  We had stopped at a park, stretching legs before heading back towards Vinita.

I took a breath and sighed.  “I was drowning,” I replied and watched that confusion set in, “it’s a reoccurring nightmare, I’m alone, the car swerves off the road and into a river, the water starts to come up.  It’s freezing and all my muscles are failing.  I can’t…” I could feel the tears in my eyes just like that and I had never told the story out loud before.  Sam’s fingers found my hand as I began to tremble but I wouldn’t go to him, no matter how gentle he tugged. “I can’t breathe, I can’t get loose. The belt is stuck, the water starts to fill me and I gave up.”

“No… no, no,” he whispered with panic in his voice and his automatically dropped my hand and his hands cupped my face.

“I did, for a minute and then I just, couldn’t,” I was vaguely aware of him now, just this side of knowing he was there as I got pulled back into the dream. “I got out, not sure that I really thought about how but I made it out, I made it to the surface, and that first breath, the first intake of air…that was when I woke up, in the car, and Dean…Dean just took me and held me to him.”

“Did you tell him what was going on?” There was no jealousy in his voice, still just the concern.

“He seemed to know it was a nightmare.”  I shrugged and placed my hands against his own.  “Um, I told him I was drowning but we didn’t go into details.” That was when the thought hit me and I smiled.  “He said I smelled like you.”

“What?” This got a big grin from the man holding me, as he relaxed and the hands on my cheeks feel away as he kissed my forehead.  “My brother said you smelled like me?  That’s…odd.”

“A little weird but think about it, I was lying on your jacket, you were holding me in the loft.  Your cologne, just you.  You’re everywhere on me.”  Sam’s face started to turn a little red as I watched the thoughts run through his mind and slowly he leaned down and whispered in my ear. 

“I want to be in you.”  It was more of a growl that sent a shiver down my spine as he back away and I watched the control slip from his features, his fist clenched as he took a deep breath and suddenly that control, that even keel that he was teetering on, went back up.  I reached out and brushed his chest and stomach with my hand and his blue-green eyes focused on me, on my lips as they darkened.  “Hey!” he shouted to the pair, “are we going or what?”

“Yeah, yeah!”  Dean shouted back, “don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

Sam smiled, opened the door he had just been leaning on and gestured me inside.  I had never seen him voluntarily take the backseat, except when I changed his bandage, but I was guessing the front seat was too far away from me at the moment. Dean gave him a questioning look as he and Danni climbed in the front of the car.

“You okay, Sammy?”  The man’s first instinct jumped in again and all Sam did was nod as he stretched out in the back, his jacket as a pillow and he pulled me down to lay in front of him, my back to him, spooning in the back seat. “Okay, let’s get this show on the road.

I don’t remember much of the drive, the feel of Sam’s arm under my head, his breath against my neck as he leaned in and buried his face in my hair. His hand spanned out over my waist and stomach as his legs intertwined with mine.  He was quiet, holding onto that little bit of control just as the sun started to set and the roads ahead began to darken.

I had managed to close my eyes, let the feeling of Dean handling this machine take over and I just took in the feeling of having Sam so close.  This was what I needed, something I longed for and it had been a long time coming.

But the night shattered the peacefulness as Dean yelled.

“Son of a BITCH!” shook me right out of the euphoria and suddenly the car was swerving, bouncing off a guardrail, and the way it stopped, the sudden halt yanked me from the arms that had wrapped tighter around me.

Everything after that….was black.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I told you if I planned on doing something stupid, I would tell you....well...

Chapter 13

I panicked the moment I opened my eyes, being brought back to that one spot in time when I was trapped under the surface and all I could do was move my arms, flail them out in every direction and that was when I felt it.  The carpet on the floor of the Impala, the vinyl and leather of the seats and I realized, I was lying face down on the floor, leaning in towards the front seat.

I felt the heavy arm of the man who had been lying behind me as I bumped it with my shoulder.  I had managed to land with my stomach over the hump in the floor and probably in the most protected position in the car, but I could still feel the warmth of the blood from my forehead as it ran down my cheek.

I pushed up to look into the unconscious face of the man who was now sprawled out on his stomach on the seat. I reached out a hand and ran it over the top of his head. There wasn’t any blood that I could tell, nothing seemed out of place, but I certainly wasn’t going to move him, not without knowing the damage of the car and where the hell we were.

I reached for the door beyond Sam’s head and pushed at it, listening to the creaking of the hinges as it finally broke loose and opened, swinging into a small tree, but wide enough so that I could get out.  I hit the ground first on both hands and knees, letting myself adjust to the cold air that surrounded me and used both the frame and the actual door itself to move myself to steadier legs.

Watching my breath roll out in what light was still coming from the red taillights of the car told me a few things, one, the car was still working, for the most part, and two, if we didn’t some help we were going to be screwed.

The thought of the night made my hand instantly go to the back of my jeans, to the small Walther that was still tucked back there, and the mag that was also in my pocket.  Oh goody, at least I was armed.  I managed to get around to the front of the car and look in the head of auburn hair that was slouched over almost resting against Dean’s leg.  He must have pulled her down when the car swerved because she didn’t look hurt, there was no blood, but Dean… Dean’s head rested against the wheel, blood trickling from the cut just above his hairline and I could see the spot against the window where the side of his head had hit. 

There was no way to get to Danni, the door was blocked by that little tree that I had hit with my door, but I moved to stand up by the grill.  No smoke, no smell of leaking fluids.  In fact the front end didn’t look like it had taken any damage at all, except for the parking light.  I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and enabled the flashlight setting.  Yep, just as I thought, the marker was completely covered in blood, but there wasn’t any fur attached anywhere that would have suggested an animal.

So either I was behind curious, or dumb, neither one would have been my fault given the situation I had just crawled out of, but I managed to move across to Dean’s side and yanked on his door.  It opened without a hitch, which was strange because his was THE door that usually caught.  I checked his pulse, felt along the back of his neck for anything out of place and slowly, with my hands cupping each side, moved him back against the seat so that I could get passed him.  I brushed Danni’s hair aside, uncovering her face and felt with my fingers, more than with my eyes as I leaned across Dean’s lap the best I could to check her breathing and pulse. 

Everyone was alive, everyone was breathing and no one was bleeding, at least externally that I could see. I moved to back out, clicked the engine and the headlights off, in order to save the battery as I took the keys from the ignition and made my way around to the trunk.  I knew what key it was, had done this before and once the trunk was popped, I grabbed that little leather pouch with the needles filled with DMB (dead man’s blood), and a machete before I closed it softly and pocketed the keys.

I stopped for a moment, crouched down by the edge of the taillight and used the bottom of my shirt to wipe the blood from my forehead.  I could feel where the cut was just by how I had to gently dab at it with the fabric, but I was glad that it had stopped bleeding, the sticky feeling of it on my skin was starting to bother me, like nails on a chalkboard.

I wanted to be mad at myself for letting down my guard but the blood on the front of the car told me it wasn’t the driver in this case, and I forced back the anxiety of getting back in the car once it was settled firmly on the asphalt. Nope, this was something different, and I hoped, even with as little of it that there was, that whatever darted out in Dean’s path, whatever he happened to clip, was a deer that was dead on the side of the road because the other possibility…well, they were pretty endless when it came to being involved with the Winchesters.

The road was narrow, and we had gone off of it at a bend.  I moved out towards the middle of it, listened to the quiet and waited to see if there was any chance to hear oncoming vehicles but the night was deathly silent.  I swung the flashlight at the guardrail to my left, which would have Sam and Danni’s side of the car and moved quietly towards it, my shoes ghosting across the pavement.

I leaned down and touched the black coat of paint that graced the metal of maybe the last two feet of the rail, just before it ended and sighed.  Dean was going to be pissed.  Trading paint with another car while making a getaway was one thing, marking up a rail for no other reason than the back end fished when he swung it to avoid something, all together a completely different story.

BUT, it did give me a clue, since the blood and the paint were passenger side damage, it meant that it came out of the woods just past there.  My head was starting to throb, just a little lower than the cut and I didn’t dare to look at the damage it had caused, but I knew one thing, cover up for the photo shoot was going to definitely be my friend.

I counted the steps between the railing and the dark stain on the road. Ten, maybe twelve at the most, and I could picture the car, yeah, that would be about the length of the front end and Danni’s door, which mean Sam and I had hit that rail first.  As I drew closer to it, I could see the that it was a massive amount, that there was no way this was a fawn, but as I surveyed the ground around it, I also could tell, whatever it was, it was standing on four legs when it was hit.

In the mud by the side of the road were animal tracks, just on the edge and the blood spot would have been where the creature’s head was, exactly spot on with the height of the marker itself.  I crouched down again and looked around, making sure that there were no cars, and I closed my eyes.

The vision I was able to bring up was me, dashing out of the woods, seeing the headlights, feeling the impact of the grill and then the impact of the cement.  As I hit, I was jolted back to my body and glanced over at the way that the small trees had been crushed by the car.  Dean had missed a rock and a rather large tree.  The Impala itself was not too far from the edge of the road, but at a downhill angle and there was no way we were getting it out alone.

A branch snapped behind me and I rolled my eyes because we all know how things go when twigs snap or footstep falls. I took a breath, stood and turned towards the thick woods.  Dean would have my ass if he knew I was doing this, so I sucked in a breath and headed in that direction. There was a small dip in the ground just as you hit the thinner trees, but I could tell something had gone through there.  Scanning it, I spotted a clearer path, possibly a turkey run, or even a deer, but whichever it was, they used it frequently.

Deciding this would be the best way to go, I stepped into the darkness and waited just a moment before I went on. Yep, I never said I was smart but the boys weren’t conscious, so my promise to make sure they knew when I was planning on doing something stupid just went out the door.

I wasn’t more than ten feet in when I spotted it.  Moving carefully, I could see the fir that stuck up from its body.  The coat was a gray frosted, with hints of white and black and I came around the front of it, I realized, there weren’t any wolves in Oklahoma. Still, I couldn’t help the curiousness and leaned down by its head, not close enough to get bit if it happened to still be alive, but the damage to its head put the pretty much killed any hope of that.

I rested my hand on its chest, no breathing, no life and I sighed, but the thought still nagged at me, why was it here.  I moved quickly, needed to get away suddenly as if something had just popped on my instincts and I was being watched.

When I rushed out of the woods, I turned once to look back as my feet kept moving forward, but that was until I heard the click of the safety going off.  Strange how you can be around people for only a few days and suddenly their habits become yours. Before I knew it, I was holding my own small weapon in my hand, pointing it right at the shadow that was stepping up from the spot where the car had gone down.

Giving my eyes a moment to adjust, I watched as Danni stepped forward again, her weapon raised as we both moved out towards the street.  I tilted my head, watched her gait, waited to see if there was any confusion, but she cleared up any issues for me about her state of wellbeing when that safety went back on.

“Damn you, girl!” she snapped and it echoed through the emptiness.  “Do you realize I could have shot you?” I smiled at this, safety flipped on the gun, and I tucked it in my belt.  “What the hell are you doing up here alone?”

I felt her embrace before I knew I was close enough for her to even reach me but I closed my eyes and hugged her back. “I needed to see if there was something up here, you know, whatever it was that Dean hit.”

“It was big, and furry.”  Danni replied stepping back.

“It was a wolf.”

“That’s impossible, there aren’t any wolves in Oklahoma.”  I shook my head, I knew she would question it but I didn’t have time to explain.

“How did you get out of the car?”

“I climbed over Dean.” She grinned, wiggled her eyebrows at me and I seriously just rolled mine.

“Did you get a good feel for that seat?”  I mocked and she was the one that looked at me this time, crinkling her nose.

“You know, I’m just as big of a pervert as you, but the man was unconscious.”  My face dropped as I looked at her with all seriousness and waited. “Okay, okay, I get it, but no, I didn’t, I just climbed over to get out.”

“I checked them both over, we’re going to have to do something, they can’t stay there.” 

The trip back down to the car was a little more tricky than I thought, since up I could dig my toes into the dirt and on the way down, I couldn’t get a heel hold on anything. Dirt graced the backside of my jeans in more than one place when I slipped and when we were finally back at the Impala, I slipped the keys in the ignition and fired up the engine.

Danni listened well and shrugged.  “It sounds perfect, the only problem would be…”

“There’s no way we’re backing up that incline, I know.” I sighed and cut the engine, flipped on the headlights and took a look around.  There was enough room around the area for the car to clear it without more scratches should we find a way to get it towed out.  “So, let’s get those boys conscious.”

I snatched the keys again and went to the trunk for the med kit, one that I had managed to add things too, like the smelling salts that I had Dean pick up the first night when I needed to stitch up Sam. Dean was going to hate me for what I was about to do but, I needed to make sure they were really okay. Just as I leaned down to break the container, I was grabbed the back of my shirt. 

When I found myself flung across the ground, landing on my back, which knocked the air out of me and dug the gun into my spine, I neared unconsciousness, but my next thought was, what the hell was that?  Blinking furiously to get the light to come back, I rolled onto my side, off the gun, and slowly began to push myself up, but just as the figure came into view, more a silhouette than anything, I felt it kick me down once again, this time with a boot to the gut.

I felt the air leave me once more and the world started to spin but I didn’t seem to get the clue.  My eyes finally adjusted to the dark and the face of the creature that loomed over me became more than just clear, it became terrifying.  I felt my eyes widen, my heart quickened in my chest as I tried to move back, scooting across the ground, but it was all for a better purpose, and then I felt the solid, scratching bark of the tree that I had spotted when inspecting the car.

It leaned over, his face not inches from mine and bared his teeth.  The retractable fangs sprouted and the drool cascaded down his lips. His eyes darkened as the bloodlust filled him and his hands reached out to grab a fistful of shirt.  When he was close enough to me, when he was distracted enough to not care about anything else but the thumping of my heart as I turned my neck towards him, I clicked the safety off the small Walther in my hand.

With a sneer, I turned back and stared him in the eyes. “Dude, you are one ugly son of a bitch!”

I swung the gun around, pressed it right against his chest and fired off three times. He let go of my shirt, stumbled backwards and paused, as if the poison from the bullets was spreading and he looked down, but not in time.  The final shot whizzed through the air, I felt it leave the gun, watched it fly through the gunpowder smoke and when it hit its target, square in the center of its eyes, I let the air release from my lungs.  It took a step forward, even in its dying state and that was when I heard the growl. Not an animalist one, but a frustrated and protective growl that accompanied the sound of a blade singing through the air and the whooshing sound as it connected.

The body fell together this time, landing on its knees first, then slowly it felt forward, missing my feet by inches before the head rolled off the shoulders just a little and I looked up at Danni, trying to catch my breath. She looked a little winded herself as she reached out and kicked at the dead thing, and looked up, smiling at me.

I tried to laugh, but the kick and the whole being flung to the ground thing made my sides hurt, so I closed my eyes and just smiled. It was then that I heard the groan and two boots hit the ground.

“Danni?” Dean’s gravelly voice moaned in the dark and I watched her swing around.

I could see from where I sat, with the light that bounced back with the headlights, that Dean was sitting up in the front seat, well sitting up being a bit of an exaggeration as he leaned forward, elbows to knees. Danni squatted down in front of him, checking over the head wound that had finally stopped bleeding.  He looked past her at me and I watched his eyes grow wide. He tried to get up but her firm hands on his sore shoulders kept him set right in his spot.

He groaned out my name: “Ali?”

“Just keep your ass there and let her look at you, we’re both to freaking sore to move.” I growled and kicked at the head in front of me, which really got Dean’s attention.

“I was wrong,” he snickered which got me to look up at him again. “You two really are hunters.”  I watched as he stared up into Danni’s eyes for a few minutes as she did the whole “follow my finger” trick on him to make sure he was all right in the head.  I wanted to kid around, to tell her she should just give it a little rattled and he’d be fine but all I did was watch him, just to see how he moved.  “Where’s Sam?” He said, suddenly aware of his brother’s absence. “Sammy?”

“The back seat.”  I mumbled as I tried to push myself away from the tree.

“UGH!” Sam growled as he practically kicked the door open. “Stop FREAKING yelling.”

Sam was sitting up in the seat, almost the same way Dean was and he ran a hand through his hair, shook it out and then looked around.  He was pissed, I mean his face looked like he was about to rip whatever they had hit a new ass but I didn’t have the heart or the strength to actually tell them it was already dead, or what it was.  I watched his eyes scan over the ground, move up to the body that lay in front of me and then those blue-green eyes, hard as diamonds set on me.

He creased his brow in anger, not sure what exactly he was angry about, but he moved quickly from the car and was sitting beside me in an instant.  His hands were on my face, checking out the cut on my forehead, then down over my neck and my shoulders but the only thing I wanted to do was look into his eyes.

He stopped moving when I finally put my hands on his and smiled.  “I’m just winded, that’s all.  It didn’t bite me, it never even came close.”

“No, it didn’t have a chance, the badass shot it!”  Dean grinned as both of us looked at him. Sam sat down on his ass, letting all of the worry fade from his face as he pulled me into his arms, but I couldn’t hold back the wince as his hands pressed against the bruised bones where the discarded gun had dug into my back. 

“I thought you said you were just winded.” Sam scolded and I smiled as I leaned back and looked up at him.

“Guess I forgot how much it hurt to have a vamp throw you across the ground.”  I laughed but Sam’s face never changed, he certainly didn’t look happy. “I’m fine, Sam, really.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll be the judge of that when we get out of here.”  He growled and yep, I think I found Sam’s overprotective side. I pushed at him, not that I didn’t want to stay in his arms forever, but he was right, we needed to get out of there.  He watched as I stood on my own two feet, stretched my arms and my back and then crouched down to stare him in the eyes. “Come on, Winchester, let’s go see what we can find.”

“There’s a barn about a half mile down the road, I think we can get a tractor to tow Baby out of this ditch.” Danni announced as she continued to look over Dean, who was playfully swatting at her hand while he watched me move. 

I grabbed my gun, tucking it in my jeans as I took Sam’s hand and pulled at him while I stood.  It amazed me that either of them were able to stand or that any of us had gotten out of this with little more than some minor scratches.  Stepping up beside Dean, I handed him the keys to the car, which he snapped out of my hand before pointing a finger at me.  He switched off the lights, closed the doors, which Danni went to the other side to do, and popped open the trunk.

I watched, leaning back against the tree that I had found just beyond the car as both the boys packed the duffel bags that were set in the trunk, with enough weaponry to supply an army but when Dean started looking frantically through the trunk, I remembered what I had taken.  Moving away from my spot, I went in search of the items Dean was looking for. Finding them by the tire, where I had dropped the med kit, I picked up the leather pouch and the machete, tucking the med kit under my arm.

With an irritated look for touching his toys, Dean grabbed them, unrolled the pouch and looked at the tubes, all still intact. Sam reached out, ran his hand over my shoulder and went back to packing.  When they were finally finished, we climbed that incline to reach the pavement and I watched Dean click on the flashlight, looking back at his car before spying the guard rail.

“Oh, come on, I just redid that paint job!”  He growled as he walked over and knelt by it.  I stopped in the middle of the road and looked over towards the path as Sam stepped up beside me.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be touched or run away at that moment, but everything in me was on high alert, like I was waiting for a vamp to jump out of the woods again.  “What the hell did we hit?”

“A wolf,” I whispered and felt Sam’s eyes on me as he turned his whole body.  I licked my lips and looked up, shook my head and took a deep breath. “I came up to see what the hell it was, I mean, what was big enough to the damage to the marker but not leave anything behind but the blood.

“You came up here alone?”  Sam questioned. 

“Well, I had a gun, a machete and a pouch full of DMB, I thought I was pretty safe,” I replied sarcastically and rolled my eyes. “You weren’t awake for me to confess my stupid plan with either, so… not my fault.” He opened his mouth to say something and that was when I realized why I was so hyped up, I could feel the headache from the adrenaline, mixed with the blow to the head starting to amp up since the rest of me was beginning to quiet down. I raised a hand as if to quiet him but I let it rest on his stomach, his eyes went soft, as if he understood my sudden snap.  “I know, I have to be more careful, but you, all of you, were out cold, you were breathing and not bleeding and I needed to move, so I came up here.  I thought I could figure out what to do next, but I just found the wolf.”

“A wolf, there aren’t any wolves in Oklahoma.”  Dean said softly and I swear I was constantly hearing a repeat of the same thing, but I pressed two fingers to the spot above my eye to calm myself.  “Where is it?”

“In the woods, but, Dean, it’s not a werewolf, it’s just a dog.”  I sighed and watched him nod. 

The way he was looking at me, with the same concern that matched Sam’s, told me that he wasn’t going to go investigate, at least not this time around. Dean walked over, placed a hand on my cheek and looked down into my eyes.  I watched his flit back and forth and finally he sighed, hugged me gently and then walked over to Danni, leaving me standing there with Sam.  There was something familiar in the way he did that, something that I couldn’t put my finger on but, I know it reminded me of something I saw. 

With a sigh, I looked up at Sam.  “You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s get out of the open and into some place we can lock down, at least until we figure out a way to get the Impala out.”  He took my hand, hiked the duffel up on the opposite shoulder and started in the direction that Dean and Danni were already headed.

~~~~~

The barn was dark, smelled of clean hay and farm equipment.  It wasn’t a bad scent, in fact it was very rich.  Whatever they used the stuff for, it was clean, there was no scent of manure, not even of an animal anywhere around, and I squinted when both the men left Danni and I at the door while they flipped on the flashlights and went to find something useful.

The glow from the LED lanterns that they found started to illuminate the area and Danni and I grabbed the heavy wooden door and closed it tight.  It had started to rain and the wind was kicking up.  As soon as the boys cased the place, making sure that nothing was in the building, animal, human or otherwise, we found blankets and a comfortable space to cozy up.

Sam had found what looked like an old stall in the back of the building, far enough away from where Dean was cleaning his gun and checking supplies, and Danni had wrapped herself in the blanket.  I smiled as Dean looked at her, rolled his eyes and moved closer, handing her a gun and the stuff to help him clean it. 

With a grin, I shook my head and walked towards the back where Sam was. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexual content, viewer discretion advised.

Chapter 14

He might have disappeared to find a place to camp out, but I could see his silhouette as he paced back and forth in front of the lantern his hands up on his face, definitely thinking but I’m not so sure of what. I watched for a while, just taking in that stride, the quiet, angry alpha male stride that he kept up at an even pace, until he noticed me.

I had never seen something so primal before.  He leaned his head was down, not all the way but as he lowered his hands from his cheeks, his eyes stared up at me from under the hair that fell from behind his ears. Those hands now fisted at his side, his gaze ran the length of me from head to toe and back before I finally saw a breath from him.  He was intimidating, broad shoulders, wide chest, angling inward towards his hips, all muscle, all man and definitely hot as hell, especially in the tight tee-shirt that he wore, having stripped away that extra layer of the dark flannel shirt.

His shoulders moved with the breath, in fact his whole body became larger than life as he took in everything with every single rise of his chest, like a wolf breathing in the scent of his surroundings, and I watched his nose crinkle, making me wonder if he was just that…a wolf in Sam’s clothing.

“You’re angry,” I whispered and listened to that grunt, one that came out almost as a growl, but he rolled his eyes, straightening up, eyes still locked on me.  “Angry at what?” He shrugged, his lips becoming a thin line.  “Ah, silent brooding type, I get it.”

 I took a step forward and watched the confusion cross his eyes, as if no one had ever dared to move closer when he looked like this, but he didn’t move. 

“Are you angry over the car? You really shouldn’t be, you had no control over an animal putting us off the road.” Nothing, no response. “Are you angry because you think you couldn’t protect me from the vampire? Again, no control because you were unconscious.”

I wasn’t getting anywhere, his eyes didn’t flinch, his body didn’t move, no matter the question, and then I thought for a moment and found myself within arm’s reach, his arms not mine.

“You’re not mad at all,” I whispered and shook my head, a light blinking behind his eyes before it faded, that was the only sign that he gave me.  “You’re holding back, afraid to lose control.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he mumbled, barely audible through clenched teeth, every muscle in his body twitched as the restraint he kept on it. “The way I feel right now, Al, I could do some damage.”

“You really think you’re capable of that?” I gave him a small smile, the notion itself seemed as absurd as, well, finding Sam and Dean in our lives at the moment but he gave me a little nod. “Have you ever, I mean, done some damage on a woman before?”

“I never gave myself that opening,” he growled and his eyes moved from me to the rafters of the building.  “I’ve kept people at a distance,” he smiled, not a fond loving one, but an acknowledgement that yeah, he could really do some harm, and his breath came out like a “ha”. “I’ve got a lot inside me, Al, a lot of evil, and a lot of anger and…”

“You just keep it inside?”  I only kept up with the questions because he was letting me, not moving to stop not growing more uncontrollable, not even so much as a movement in my direction, but he nodded.  “Totally an unhealthy way to go.”

“Yeah, bar fights are not my thing.”

“Sex,” I whispered and heard that growl from his chest.  Yeah, that was his out, and what he meant by he could do some damage.  “Ever hurt someone during that?”  I watched as he slowly shook his head, the words not coming from him and I smiled. “Why do you think that you are going to do that with me?”

He rolled his eyes, I watched his jaw clench and his fingers dig deeper into his palm, white knuckles and all. I didn’t get it, didn’t understand his hesitation but then again, this was a different Sam, and a different animal all together. I moved closer to the light of the lantern and watched his eyes scan me over again.  He stopped at my waist, his hands suddenly unclenched and his eyes widened.

“You’re bleeding!”  He huffed out and instantly the distance between us was gone.

“What?”  I felt his hands on me, gently, like he was inspecting every part of my arms, then over to the top of my shirt, his fingers grazing the cuts that were slowly fading, I took his hand.  “Sam, I’m not hurt.”

He tugged me closer to the light, into that stall behind him and I watched the panic in his eyes as his shaking hand reached out towards my stomach.  Looking down, finally able to see what the hell had him so up in arms, I realized.  I was COVERED in blood.

“It’s not mine!”  I quickly realized what was going on.  The man was in a panic over the fact that he could see nothing but red.  His hands shook as his eyes became distant, he was shutting down, his walls were going up, but he was going through the motions of checking me over before I swiped his hands away. “I’m not bleeding.  Sam, Jesus, it’s not mine.”

He wasn’t stopping, he was inspecting and noting every little line on my body before he took hold of the shirt.  I think that was when it happened, the wet stain solidified it for him, I was bleeding or at least that was all he registered and I growled.

“Listen, Moose!”  I snapped and watched him move back from the name, yeah, probably not the best time to pull out the Crowley nickname but he wasn’t listening.  Kicking off my shoes, I grabbed the end of the light shirt and ripped it off over my head, exposing everything but what the bra covered. He stopped dead, his hands inches from my skin and he stared.  The blood had soaked through onto my skin, but there wasn’t a mark on me and I watched his lips part, the first sign of hope that this move, this insane half-assed move was going to help him. “It’s not my blood, sweetheart!  I’m fine.”

His fingers finally made contact at my bare ribs, tracing the curve of my body gently as he reached the edge of my jeans and I took a deep breath in when he trailed them across the part of my stomach that held the red tint of color. His lips parted just a little more as his foot took one step closer.  I could feel the heat that came from his body and looked up into his eyes, watching the curiosity there, the way they played over my skin.

“Sam, you’re not going to do any damage.” I reached out, letting my hands settle on the tight muscles of his lower arms, feeling his fingers twitch against my skin, and as I ran my own down the length of him. I finally grabbed his wrist and pushed his fingers against my skin, wanting to feel every part of the callous edges of them.  Sam took a deep breath, closed his eyes just a little, as if suppressing something and then they folded into me, pulling me towards him. “Don’t hold back, I’m not going to break.”

That was his cue, the words he needed to hear, just enough encouragement to wrap around me as his lips claimed mine.  I could feel his body shaking, one hand moving up to the spot between my shoulders, holding me to him as the other traveled down to the small of my back and I swear I heard a low moan come from somewhere deep inside him.

He sidestepped, bringing me closer to the lantern, closer to the blankets that he had set down on the bed of hay, but he suddenly released me and left me standing there for a moment as I heard him disappear.  In the distance, not far off but enough that I couldn’t make out what was said, I heard Dean and Sam exchange words, the sound of the faucet in an old tap run, and the water trickling down into a metal bucket.

When he came back, I watched him stop in the doorway to the stall, look me over and slowly, he made his way over to the blanket.  I watched as he knelt down, sitting back on his heels, a towel in his hand and his eyebrows went up.

“Lay down,” he whispered.  It wasn’t an order, just a friendly suggestion, one that I took my time obliging as those blue-green blazing eyes watched me possessively. 

He licked his lips, watching me move, and then swallowed hard as I finally rested the length of the blanket.  I tucked my hands up under my head and watched him as he took the towel, held it tightly in his hand for a moment before he dipped it in the water.  I watched him catch his lower lip, as his eyes came to rest on mine. 

“This is going to be cold,” he said in just above a whisper, and he let out a small breath, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry for the water being cold?”  I smiled and watched the shy little grin appear on his cheek, but he was right, it was cold.

The tip of that towel hit my heated skin like an ice cube and I found myself sucking in my breath.  One hand came down from behind my head and I let it grip his thigh, not that I had nails, but I’m sure he would have felt it if I did.  The grin on his face widened as he brought the cloth across my stomach.  He was washing away the blood, taking away the stain of the fight that I had been in and I finally relaxed enough to close my eyes.

His touch was gentle, the way he moved was full of thoughtful care, and before I knew just what was going on, he had moved from under my touch.  I felt his hands on the button of my jeans, but at that moment, there was no way that I cared.  The harsh material of the jeans was coated with the crimson liquid, stiffening the fabric as his fingers curled beneath the waist and I lifted my hips, letting him tug them down, eyes still closed.

It was when he nudged my knees apart that they flew open and I watched as he settled down between them, once again on his knees.  His hand ran the length of the backside of each of my thighs, moving my legs until they were braced against his own, and that towel descended again.  I felt his fingers on the inside of my legs, close to the cotton barrier that separated the flicker of his index finger of his left hand from the heat that my body let off in desire for him to move closer, but he just braced my leg as his right hand moved gently down.

Who would have thought the feeling of a cloth could be so much, almost too much, and I let out a small whimper as he moved both hands to the other leg, this time he switched, the right hand grasping the inner part of my thigh, the same finger grazing over the fabric as his left used the towel to clean away the memories.

I didn’t know anything else except his presence, his touch and that cold cloth, not until his lips hit my stomach.  Such a contrast from the rough dampness, his lips were warm and wet and they drew a path of fire until he was over the bra, across my neck and planted softly on my lips.

His finger hitched on the edge of my bra as my arms came down and my hand tangled in his hair, tugging him closer as he moved his mouth to capture mine, like a puzzle that just clicked together.  I reached down, as his mouth ravaged mine in a slow tortuous way, and gripped the end of his shirt, pulling it up and away from his body.

When his skin touched mine, the feeling intensified.  Sam was heat and desire, and oh so much more all rolled into one but that contact was what we both needed. Chaos erupted in a fury of lips, tongue and touch, as we moved together, removing the barriers between us, and I gasped as I felt the naked length of him resting against me in what seemed like an instant.

He sat back, and my body was instantly aware of something missing, but I watched the light from the lantern dim, heard the rip of the little foil packet and felt his arm against my thigh, moving carefully along his on length. A condom, good boy, I smiled to myself and shook my head. Now why hadn’t I thought of that?

Sam’s hand didn’t come back to my waist, not even to rest on my hip, instead it slipped from him to the wet heat between us and with one flick of his fingers against the folds, my eyes rolled back and I could feel the world as it began to shatter, this all from a slight little touch. I reached for him, finding the tight muscles of his shoulders as I settled my hands on his skin and pulled up just a little, wanting to see what he was doing and the sight of him, as he knelt there hard and ready was almost as dangerous as looking up into those darkening eyes, but the feelings that his fingers alone sent soaring through me made my arms shake, and give out.

He moved like a ghost, suddenly upon me, moving me back down to the blanket with just his kiss and before I knew it, he had my thighs up, locking my legs behind him.  I could feel him there, the tip just itching to move and he backed away, looking softly down at the kiss-swollen lips he had just left before his eyes met mine.

“I don’t want…” I grabbed him by the hair, not wanting to hear that he thought he would hurt me when I was more than ready for him and I brought my hips up, closing that distance.  He moaned, quiet loudly as he slipped in, the heat surrounded him and one hand suddenly grasped my hips. Buried deep, as far as he could go, he froze.  Against my lips, I felt the shudder of his breath, “don’t move.”

“Sam,” I pleaded, because him, being so close was killing me not to move.

“I swear if you move this will be done before it starts,” he smiled. “Just…give me a second.”

I waited, our eyes locked as his breathing matched mine and his lips moved, trying to find the words just as his hips began to rock. Slow, deliberately shallow movements that would have never been felt if it had been anyone else, but I could feel him, every part of him and he squeezed his eyes tightly, his teeth clenched as his forehead rested on mine.

“I want it slow and torturous.”  He smiled against my lips.

“Oh my God, Sam,” I mumbled, feeling the shallow thrusts as he brushed his lips along mine.

“I need it,” he confessed, “you’ll never be like the others, so this…this is how I need it.”

I understood what he was saying, I wasn’t a conquest, it was so much deeper than that. I wasn’t one of the girls at the bar, a fast heavy action that needed a quick release. No, he wanted to savior it, draw it out, but damn did I need that boy to move.

My grip on his hair tightened as his lips moved to my throat, kissing long a line there until I felt his teeth graze across my skin.  Did he just know, or was it the sound of my reply to that small action that made his hips buck and he slid further out than he intended? He wasn’t so gentle when his hips slipped closer, and I tilted my head back. My God, this man was pure sin, and I was loving every second of it, but he slowed, inching in and out further with each sway of his hips.

I pressed my hand against the back of his head, encouraging the feeling of his teeth on my shoulder and when he bit down, just enough to shock and draw a bit of pleasured pain, I gasped and my hips rose to meet his.

I was done, so totally done, there wasn’t a need for slow and steady.  I understood what he needed and I was good with it, but I needed more, more of him and the way he moved, the feelings he was dragging to the surface.

“Please, Sam!” I growled against his ear as I ran my fingers down his back, searching for the curve of his ass and when I found it, my legs moved until I had him around the hips instead.  The sudden movement, the change in angle made him gasp and his darkened eyes came up to focus on mine. “Trust me, there’s nothing you can do that’s going to hurt, just…please.”

His breathing was heavy, focused but he watched as I pleaded and a small smile crossed his face.  His hips swayed back, and that first thrust forward sent starburst behind my eyes as the pure pleasure of it had me arching up against him.  My reaction told him the one thing he needed to really understand, the same thing I had been telling him all along, I wasn’t going to break, and he wasn’t going to do any harm.

He was amazing, like a symphony, highs and lows, peaks and valleys and so many emotions.  He brought me to the edge and back over and over until there was no way I was holding on anymore. His lips descended on my neck once more, catching me by the shoulder as I let my head drop back, my hand full of his soft brown hair. I could feel myself careening over the edge, holding my breath as the wave of shear erotic pleasure of his body mixed with the near torturous pain of his teeth on my skin.

His hand slipped under my back, raising me up as I felt him swell more. There was no way that he could get any harder, fill me anymore but then he was coming undone, the low noises that vibrated from his chest, and again where his lips pressed sent another wave of pure ecstasy through me as I followed him down until his shaking arms gave out, until his body seemed to crash down and he released my shoulder.

His lips danced over my skin as I untangled my hand from his hair, just enough to start running my fingers through the sweat-drenched locks and I found the small of his back, slick with exertion, and I couldn’t help the smile that graced my face.

Sam picked his head up, his hair sticking everywhere to it and I reached up, brushing it back as his fingers traced over my cheek.  The smile that formed on his lips was a new one, like a wall had crumbled down from just this one little, magnificent, undeniable connection and I watched the hard,  broken man that I had taken into my arms, that I had stitched up, become soft and whole.

There were no words, nothing we had to say to each other and his kiss became soft and gentle once again, even as my eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling of security in his arms take over.  His mouth trailed back down to my shoulder but I felt him slip out, and after kissing what I could imagine was red love bite, he rested his cheek against my chest, wrapping his arms around me the best he could, and somehow found a blanket to shield us from the sudden chill that our drying, cooling bodies felt.

~~~~~

If it wasn’t bad enough that it had started to rain before we ventured off to the small hiding spot that Sam and I were currently nestled in, now it was starting to thunder.  The first sound shook the whole building and jostled me awake, but I didn’t move. I was safe and secure wrapped in the arms of a man who held me protectively.  I blinked away the sleep, as my eyes tried to stay open and focused as my hand brushed the soft fine hair that matted under my fingers.  I closed my eyes, let my hand rest and pushed my body closer to Sam.

That was when I felt it, the eyes on me. It wasn’t so much of a sense of being watched as it was a familiar feeling of a protective guard, that and I could just smell him.  There was a distinct light hint of Dean in the air as the wind flowed through the barn and the man was standing upwind.  He smelled of leather and gun cleaner and just that subtle hint of tobacco, but he was there. I was going to turn, to show him I was wide awake but I heard the sound of footfalls on the hay and knew that Danni was on her way over.

“You know, she’s going to start to think that you’re a pervert, or worse a stalker if you keep coming over here.”  The annoyance in Danni’s voice was obvious, and I cringed at it because I knew that she wanted him, and he…he just kept coming after me.  Not that there was anything there except his overbearing protective streak but it definitely took away from her time with him and I suppressed a sigh.

“Believe it or not, Dan…” her name dripped with sarcasm as it left his mouth, “I was looking at my brother.”

“So, that makes it less weird and perverted?”  Danni retorted but there was a smile in her voice.

“Look at him,” Dean whispered, his voice suddenly muffled but still clear enough to hear.  He had ducked down behind the wall. “Really look at the way he’s sleeping. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen that look?”

“Dean,” she let out a breath and I could almost imagine her reaching up to touch him.  “I…”

“Almost a decade, if not more,” Dean answered before she could continue.  “My brother hasn’t been at peace since Jessica died, since Dad went missing, since Cas flew the coop.” It wasn’t a new revelation for me, at least about the fact that Sam had seen some pain, but John was ‘missing”, not dead?  “I knew there was something, something about her, a feeling , but this…Dan, you don’t get this. It’s amazing.”

“Still, you could wait until they’re at least dressed to stand and admire.”  I caught the sound of Dean’s canvas jacket rustle as he placed his arms back on the wall. “There’s something else?”

“The vamps,” he admitted. “I wish I could tell you that my only reason for standing here is to memorize the look on my brother’s face, the happiness he found at this very moment, but the truth is, I can’t let either of them out of my sight.”

“You’re not the only protector,” Danni huffed.

“I have to be.”  Dean seemed to be stressed and I just wanted to roll over and take him in my arms, which made me think twice about it since there was nothing on under this blanket, but the emotion in his voice called to me.  “Danni, you could get hurt, you could get killed and I’ve already got Ali and Sammy so deep into this mess that I don’t know how I’m going to get them out.”

“You did this? You brought the vamps to the hotel, brought Sam to the nest?” Danni was never very subtle, she always spoke her mind and damn was she demanding answers.

“Yes,” he snapped, “as a matter of fact, I did!  I brought Sammy on this hunt, I was the one that suggested it and it was the only reason we left the bunker.  We were set there, we were perfectly happy and content sitting around on our asses drinking beer, but I got restless.  Me, not him, and I dragged his sorry ass to Ohio, and I put him and Ali in danger because I’m the one that screwed up on the hunt.”

“How? Exactly how?”

“It doesn’t matter, okay!”  He was getting mad, I could always tell when he came out with something to say and ended it with that one word. ‘Okay’ was a code word for drop it, but Danni wouldn’t drop anything, she needed to know.  Dean sighed, apparently the look on Danni’s face matched anything she might have spoken.  “Sam and I were in the building,” his voice was muffled as he moved behind the wall again, probably to sit on the bales of hay that rested there.  “We split up, did our usual, but I had misjudged, I thought the intel was good, thought we had the right number but instead of nine, there were almost two dozen.  Sam got to them first, he engaged, I brought up the rear, total opposite MO than we usually do. It’s always me first.

“Sam was hit, one of the suckers took a stab at him with their claws, drew blood, but Sam did what he does best, he kicked ass.  We were still outnumbered, but cut theirs in half. It didn’t matter, they had his scent, not mine.”  Dean’s voice was full of self-loathing and I found myself focusing on Sam’s face. If was awake, he didn’t show it and his breathing was quiet and even.

I knew it wasn’t easy for Dean to confess any of it, hell, I wouldn’t have been able to open up to a complete stranger, but I had seen the trust that had started to grow between them, and this was just another step in the right direction, even if he couldn’t move past the whole making sure he was within ten paces of us.

“When they came at us at the hotel, I had gone for coffee, Sammy had gone to check on Ali, but I didn’t know that.  I had no idea that he had even made contact with her in the first place, not until she said something about him knocking. I heard the glass window shatter when I walked out of the shop, I watched that thing move into the room, Ali’s room.” Dean paused and I heard Danni move amongst the bedding and assumed she sat by him. “Have you ever seen your friend pissed off? Because if you haven’t trust me, it’s damn near scary.  Sammy wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for her, and she didn’t even know what the hell she was doing.  She just took that blade and swung with everything she had, swung at a monster that wasn’t supposed to exist, but it cut her, Danni, it cut her bad enough to leave a scent and I didn’t know what to do. My mistake, my carelessness brought an innocent woman into this mess.”

“I’m sorry, do you know who you’re talking about?”  Danni laughed. Okay, laughing was one thing but that laugh? That was a ‘boy you just screwed yourself’ laugh.

“She’s not as tough as you think,” Dean grumbled, “this isn’t a line of work for novice, Danni, I don’t care who you think I’m talking about but she’s not going to survive long out there alone.”

“What did she do after the vampire attacked, did she run? Did she scream and carry on like some pansy little girl?”  I heard that deep throated growl from Dean that told me he was about to hit his end.  “No, she stayed and made sure that your brother didn’t die. She patched him up, she stayed with you, she was scared as hell but she didn’t run, Dean!”

“That doesn’t mean she can do it on her own.” I could almost picture him rubbing his face.

“She’s not on her own anymore, don’t you get that?” 

“No.” He admitted.

“The moment… the second… she chose to stay with you, and Sam, that wasn’t her needing your protection, that was her choosing to keep you by her side, because if you really understood who you were talking about, you would know she would dump your ass in a New York minute without looking back and you would never find her.”  Okay, so Danni was over exaggerating because, come on, these are the Winchesters, they’d probably find me before I hit the ground running. “Think about it, Dean, think really hard.”

Dean stood, I heard him shift to his feet and he let out a breath, louder than usual. “Trust me, I have.”

“Then you know she doesn’t need your protection, she just needs you,” Danni replied and I heard her hand slap against his stomach, not hard enough to hurt, “and obviously, she’s not letting Sam go anywhere anytime soon.  So suck it up, Buttercup and leave the lovers alone.  They’re not gonna disappear!”

Danni spun on her heals and walked away.  The sound of his shirt catching on the wood told me he was looking over the wall once more and I moved my hand, gathered the blanket up around my chest and turned as much as I could to look at him.  I caught his green eyes in what little light there was, and watched as he looked over me, his lips just parted enough to look as though he was lost in thought, but he caught my open eyes, snapped his jaw shut, eyed over my bare shoulder before pressing his lips together and he disappeared into the night.

I closed my eyes, let out the breath that I didn’t know I was holding and reached my arm across Sam, settling my hand down on his hip under the blanket, his free arm, the one that wasn’t cradling me blazed a trail with his fingers along my arm and rested on my neck as he kissed me on the forehead.  I hadn’t even realized he was awake.

“My brother, the over thinker.”  Sam mumbled and removed his hand from my neck to rub his eye before putting it back.

“That was one intense conversation.” I giggled, trying to lighten the mood as I kissed his skin, just to the side of his nipple, which had goose bumps rising. “Does he really think that way? That he was the one that did this?”

“That’s just Dean, everything’s his fault even when it’s not, and it’s his responsibility, even when it clearly isn’t.” Sam’s voice was low, fresh with sleep and just on the edge of irritated.  He seemed to wiggle lower onto the blanket, and turn on his side before giving my waist a little nudge, and I flipped over to put my back against him.  I could feel every inch of him as he molded to me and pulled me in tighter.  “Dean’s right, you can’t do this on your own.”

I smiled as he pressed his lips against the tender spot on my shoulder and then kissed his arm. “Danni’s right too, you know, I’m not on my own anymore. I chose you, both of you, and her.”

“At some point, the rest of the nest is going to come for us.” I felt the soft tickle of his breath as he nuzzled against the back of my neck.

“So when that happens, we’ll fight.” I whispered, and let out a breath as his hand snaked over my stomach and up to catch my cheek, turning my head just a bit so that he could capture a kiss.

“Damn right we will.” He growled against me and settled back down, his lips once again against my shoulder.

Sleep didn’t come, nothing but the sound of the rain and the howl of the wind surrounded me, even with my protector at my back, I couldn’t get over the feeling that the fight would be sooner than they thought.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know sometimes you just feel like punching someone...in the face, and knocking them on their backside!

Chapter 15

I stood in the middle of the road, facing the back end of the tractor that Dean had managed to drive down the road from the barn.  I was in charge of watching the cars while Danni, pretty proficient in farm equipment, helped Sam and Dean get the chains around Baby in order to haul her up, the problem was, it was about six in the morning, I was sure that there was bound to be traffic at some point.

It didn’t really bother me that I was up there alone, knowing that the vamps that were chasing us were hiding out until the sun was nice and high, but the thought of the wolf in the woods to my back and the fact that there was another fanged creature in two pieces down at the bottom of the incline sent my hairs on end. 

I swayed side to side, trying to keep myself in one spot so that I didn’t take off running for the hills, or back to the woods, because something about leaving that animal exposed was wrong.  It also kept the bruise on my back from going stiff. 

On a better note, the little bit of sway in my hips reminded me of Sam and my hand came up to press on the small spot where he left a mark.  If Danni and Dean had noticed it, neither had said anything but I was sure that it was visible from under the neck of the crew top I wore.  Sam, though, beamed with pride at the fact that I rolled my eyes every time his finger brushed it, and since the first time I reacted, the contact he made in any passing motion was directed to that one spot.

Danni topped the knoll and looked at me as I stood there, eyes darting in one direction or another and slowly she walked over.

“What’s up?”  She questioned, watching me suspiciously. I finally stopped moving, grounded myself and shook my head.  “Bullshit.”

“Every hair on my arms and neck are standing on end, like this place is full of…I don’t know something.  It’s like the field the other night.”  I shrugged. “Maybe it’s nothing.”

“It’s never nothing, you got your gun?”  Ever the big sister, I rolled my eyes and watched as her hand went out.  Huffing, I pulled it from the back of my jeans and placed it gently in her hands as she stared me in the eyes, blue to blue contact and then she smiled.  Looking it over, she unclipped the mag, checked the bullets and slid it back in place.  “Just keep it handy.”

“Always,” I sighed as she handed it back and I tucked it away.  “It doesn’t help with the feeling though.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, at least nothing major.”  Dean and Sam made their way up, whispering to each other but I could tell by the look on their faces that whatever the conversation was, it wasn’t a topic Danni and I needed to be involved in.  “And then again, it could always be something with those two.”

“Would it be wrong to say I think we should leave?”  I whispered, stepping up to her and Danni’s head whipped around to look at me.  She placed a hand on my shoulder and her eyes filled with confusion.

“We’re moving as soon as we get the car out,” she whispered but I could hear it in her voice, she knew what I mean.  “What would make you think that was in anyway a good idea?”

“John’s not dead,” I answered and she shrugged, not understanding the reference.  “You don’t get it, John didn’t die to bring Dean back, not in this life, which means that there is so much that is off here, not Sam…or Dean…but the timeline, like the way Bobby died, it’s off.”

“And that scares you?”

“It freaking terrifies me, and the worst part is, I don’t know why.”  I watched as Sam’s gaze traveled from the controls of the tractor, where Dean sat playing with the arms, to me.  He looked me over, his brow creased with worry and I watched him give that small tilt of his head, as if he were asking me what was wrong without the words.  I broke his glance, turned to Danni and sighed. “Something is very, very wrong.”

With that, I turned and walked down towards the guardrail, this whole area was wrong, but it might have just been the memories of the night before.  Why then, would the mention of John missing bother me so much?  In the show he had been gone almost eight years, and the boys had progressed to where ours were now, with the Men of Letters bunker, but if here John was only missing, then why weren’t they looking for him, or Cas for that matter.

I leaned against the rail, facing the woods, letting my eyes scan over the area and I noticed the small stream below me.  It would have come out just the other side of the Impala on the furthest side of the road, but it wasn’t that water that caught my attention, it was the blue color beside it that had me curious.

With a glance back at the other, because you know I’m a glutten for punishment and yeah, seeing what was down there had my curiosity spiking.  I watched as Sam stood at the edge of the asphalt, waving for Dean to continue as both Dean and Danni argued over what was the best way to haul her up.  Yeah, stupid plan, stupid idea but once again, they were busy and I didn’t have time to give them a heads up.

Avoiding the path where the wolf was, I made my way down the increasingly sharp slope to the water below.  Looking back up, it didn’t seem as far as I thought, but then again depth perception from up high was never my strong point and I couldn’t tell you how many feet I had traveled down.  I unsnapped the band that held the spectrum in place, thanking everything above that I had thought of hooking it to my belt that morning, and slide the rainbow colored blade from its sheath. 

Judging where I was up above to where I thought I might have seen the blue…whatever it was…I made my way down stream, heading right towards it. 

When I rounded the bend, which didn’t look like the way the stream flowed higher up, I was hit with the stench of rotting meat and knew I was onto something I really shouldn’t have been.  Every thought in my head yelled at me to run but there was nothing stopping my feet from going forward. I grabbed the end of my shirt and pulled it up around my nose, death, and the scent of it never bothered me, but this one, this was off.

When I stopped, I finally connected that piece of blue to a sleeve, and the sleeve to an arm, the arm to a torso and finally I landed on the deteriorated face of whoever this might have been. I stared down at the body, assuming he by the clothing, must have been down there for weeks and by the bite patterns that I could make out on the torn skin, he was why the wolf was down here in the first place.

I was so engrossed with the body, so intrigued by the story of how he might have gotten there, how he might have died, that I never noticed the noise behind me, the footfalls that snuck up, not until an arm grasped me quickly around the waist and the smell of a freshly smoked cigarette invaded my senses.

Dean pulled me up against him, his cheek against the side of my head, and I smiled, because the closeness of him was never enough.  I felt his hand spread wide against my hip, opposite of where his arm had come around and when those fingers curled against me, he tugged me back further.  My first thought went to what Sam would think of his brother pinning me there, but Dean didn’t make a threatening move, he never made any kind of sexual gesture, just stared down at the body as he breathed shallow breaths to keep the stench out of his nose.

“I’m going to put a GPS on you,” he growled in my ear, like he was scolding me, and I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my cheeks.  “Or, better yet, shackles.”

“Curiosity.”  I whispered as I felt his free hand slide down my arm to cover the hand that held the hilt of the blade.

“You know what they say about that, Ali,” his cheek brushed against my head and I assumed he was looking at the surrounding area.  “Come on, let’s get topside.”

“What about this guy?” I shrugged and moved to turn against him, but he held me in place.

“Not our case,” his voice had no feeling in it, no emotion, like he was just going to brush off the fact that there was a body by the river, and finally his hand released my waist and slipped away, trailing fingers over my stomach as he went.  It seemed like a way for him to keep grounded, as if he were afraid that when he let go completely, that I wouldn’t be there. “Remember, not our monkeys.”

“How do you know?”  I questioned, turning to him as the hand that still held tightly to mine tugged me towards the hill.

“There’s no sign of monsters.” He answered, looking me up and down and finally I watched his eyes rest on the spot on my neck.  With a slow release of his breath, he reached out and gently tugged the neck of my shirt aside.  The corner of his mouth turned up in a shallow grin and his eyes moved back to lock on mine.  “Sammy’s girl.”

“Really?” I couldn’t suppress the giggle that came out when he said that.

“Only time I’ve ever seen him “mark” someone.” Dean shook his head as he raised his eyebrows, his finger sliding over the mark, like he was admiring the feel of it.

“You make it sound like we’re mated for life,” I rolled my eyes and watched that smile fade. “Dean?”

“He’s usually so very careful,” the older brother sighed. This comment made me wonder just what the hell Dean was talking about and I watched as he shook his head a little. “The whole vampire scent thing?”

“Oh, and we’re back on that again,” I tugged my hand out of his, stashed the blade back in the sheath and started to walk by but he grabbed my arm and spun me to back towards him. 

“It’s not just the vampires, Al, it’s everything,” he snapped.

“That makes _no_ sense, Dean!” I watched as he rubbed his eyes and released my arm. His hand came away from his face, and he held it out pointedly as if he were about to give me directions.

“Monsters can scent people. You. Me. Sam. Hell, they could even pick up on Danni if they wanted to, just by jumping on one of us, but this,” he reached out, gently ran his fingers across the mark and withdrew to fist up his hand.  “This is like a beacon, it can draw them to Sam, and even from Sam it can draw them to you.”

“It’s just a hicky, Dean, it will go away.” I watched the smile cross his face as he stuffed his hands way down into his pockets as if he were trying hard to keep control of himself.

“It might be to you but to them, those monsters, that’s a mark, and they will use it to get to your mate.” He snapped, shaking his head. I rolled my eyes once more and turned my back to him.  “Why do you think we are the way we are, Ali?  No attachments, no commitments and sure as hell no marks.”

I could hear him following me up the incline, one that I took my time with as I tried to keep my calm but he was pushing it, just by what he was saying.  The fact that he was even hinting that one night with Sam was putting us all in danger.  I couldn’t help but feel he was attacking me for some reason.

“So that’s the reason behind the one night stands, the wham-bam-thank-you life you lead?” I turned to look at him as I stopped at the top of the hill, just before I reached the asphalt and looked down at him.  He paused, exactly the right height for me to see into his eyes and he nodded.  “Is that really the reason, because you want to protect these people, or is it because you’re too damned stubborn to let go of what you keep holding onto, the medieval notion that you are the only one that can take care of these things, that women can’t protect themselves?  That we’re just some novice in this job?”

“You think you can do this alone?”  Dean growled, his voice suddenly deep enough to vibrate through me.  “If you think you’re strong enough to take on the nest alone, go for it, Sugar be my guest, but if you drag Sam into it…”

“What, you’ll hunt me down too?” I whispered and watched him lean forward just a bit.

“Hunting you down would be the least of your problems if something ever happened to Sammy because of your careless, reckless, inability to see what the hell is right in front of you.”

“I know what hell I’m doing Dean.”  I snapped and watched that smartass grin form on his face.  “I know all about what a vampire can do once it has you beneath its bite, and I sure as hell know how to kill it.”

“Did your little show teach you that?”

I shook his head at him, my brows going up, and I could feel the anger burning in my gut. He had no idea how I knew, but that didn’t stop the next set of events from happening anyway.  I closed my eyes just for a brief second before I turned away to look at Sam, who was standing by the now topside trunk of the Impala, and at Danni, who was a bit confused over the argument. I was fuming and I had no idea why, but that little threat, the possibility that I would put any of them in harm’s way set me off like nothing else and I found myself swinging before I knew what I was doing.

My fist connected full force with Dean’s jaw, and I watched as he was thrown off balance, not by the force of it but by the surprise and I walked down towards him as he tumbled back, landing on his ass.  He looked up at me in shock, as I stood still on the incline but just at the edge of his feet.  His eyes were wide and his hand came up to his cheek.

Breathing hard, trying to control myself, I reached behind me and pulled out the Walther.  He watched in confusion as I unclipped the mag, emptied the chamber and dropped all three piece down on the ground between his legs.

“You don’t know a damn thing about me, Winchester, and you’re right, I don’t think I can do this on my own,” I growled lowly, and watched him stare at the gun, “But I’m sure as hell going to try.”  I turned and walked back up to the edge of the asphalt, before turning to look at him.  “We’re done…Dean!  I’m not Charlie, I’m not the little sister you never wanted, I don’t need your protection and I don’t need you up my ass. So don’t follow me, keep Sammy safe, but leave me the hell alone.”

I moved away from them, back down the road towards the barn where I snatched my coat off the ground on the way by and slipped it on.  I could feel the confusion that flowed through me, not sure of what the hell just happened, or what I was doing, I certainly didn’t understand why I just PUNCHED Dean in the chin, but the hand around my arm had me turning with a swing again.

This time, Sam caught my arm but weaved just in case I continued through with it.  He looked down at me, didn’t say anything, his eyes hard and cautious and I shook my head.

“I don’t want to leave you, but I can’t stay, not…” I lost my words and fought back the tears.  “I didn’t mean to hit him.”

“Oh, I think he probably had it coming,” Sam smiled and moved the hand that held my arm down to catch my fingers, that grin widening as he glanced over the redness that was forming on my knuckles.  “You don’t have to leave.”

“I do, and you need to stay.”  I whispered and slipped from his grasp.  I watched the heartbreak in his eyes and that sent the tears flowing as I swallowed and took a step back.  “Stay with your brother, Sam, stay and protect him, take care of the nest and when it’s all done, come and find me.”

I turned quickly and started to walk away once again, but his arms were around me, hugging me tightly, folding me into him and I closed my eyes.

“If I do this, if I let go and you get hurt,” he growled in my ear and I smiled through the tears. 

“You’ll live,” I answered and turned in his arms.

“No,” he whispered, leaning down to put his forehead against mine, “I won’t, not after you, not after last night.”

“So what do I do, just go back, just wait?” 

“When did you ever wait for anything?”  Danni’s voice picked up and I glanced over as she stepped up beside us, Dean behind her and I narrowed my eyes at him, but she blocked my view as Sam stood straight.  “Seriously, in all the time we’ve talked, you couldn’t wait, you had to do what you had to right then and there, so why wait now?”

“What do you want me to do, hunt them down?” I laughed and shook my head.  “No,” I sighed, “no, you’re right, I don’t wait, but what I want to do now is go back to the house, change my damned clothes, take a freaking shower and go to Lawrence like we had planned.”

“Wait, you’re going to Lawrence?”  Sam questioned, looking between us, as his arms slipped away but his hand caught mine before I could escape.

“We have a date with a certain black car.”  Danni smiled, which got me to grin.

“And you think that’s a good idea?”  Dean asked as he stepped up by Danni and looked down at her.  Good, keep your eyes to yourself, was the only thing I could think of.

“Plans aren’t changing.”  I growled and watched him turn to me, his eye narrowing at my reply but he looked down at the red swelling sight of my knuckles and sighed.  I turned to Sam and shrugged.  “So, can you get us back to Vinita? We’ll take Dan’s car into the city.”

“You’re not going alone,” Dean piped up, apparently my hit to his jaw had done nothing to get my point across.

“So shut up and come with!”  I snapped and slipped out of Sam’s grasp, “or sit at the garage and play with your gun, either way, we’re still going.” 

I heard the frustration in Sam’s huff as I walked back towards the Impala and climbed into the backseat, closing the door tightly behind me.  Dean, somewhere in the muffled distance yelled about slamming the door but I just put my head back and closed my eyes.  Danni slid in beside me, Sam grabbed the tractor and headed back to the garage, and Dean grumbled as he closed the driver door and started the engine.

“Hey, you want coffee or something on the way back?”  Danni whispered and just shook my head. “You gonna be okay?”

And there is was again, that question.  Did I tell her about the nightmare from my past, the one that set me up to know just what to do in this situation, the one that exposed me to this world that I pushed off as being something in my imagination?  Did I let her in on the secret that though the lake had never actually happened to me as an adult, it did haunt me as a child? 

“Nope,” was all I gave her, and I heard Dean sigh in the front seat before he put the car in gear and we were pulling away from the curb.  It was then, at only that moment, that I wondered what they had done with the body and I opened my eyes to see the set of green ones that stared at me through the rearview mirror.  I swallowed, closing my eyes once more, kicked off my shoes and pulled my feet up to my chest, resting them on the seat that was more than big enough to fit four of me on it.  “Wake me up when we get to the house.”

“Ali?”  Danni whispered concerned, but I just snuggled in deeper as I pressed my cheek against the coolness of the seat.

~~~~~

Danni grabbed the bags and the Escape from the house and followed Dean up to the garage where he pulled Baby in and Sam closed the door behind him.  I didn’t look at any of them as I grabbed the duffel that Danni handed me and headed towards the bathroom, but I stopped just before I and looked at the bandages that sat on the counter.

I turned slowly, setting my stuff down and looked at Sam, who was leaning against the back of the car with his arms crossed, a knowing smile on my face and I just gave him a “well?” look before he pushed off from the car and made his way over.  Danni, who was standing at the table digging out the necessities for coffee and the leftover muffins from the day before, gave me a sly smile and before she went back to work, and as Sam stepped up beside me, I looked over at Dean, who was running his fingers along the scuffed paint on the passenger’s side. Dean peeked up at me, his lips forming a bit of a frown and he only held my gaze for a second before going back to whatever it was he was doing.

Sam smiled and took my wrist. “Come on.”  With a gentle tug, and a handful of the medical supplies, he pulled me into the bathroom and shut the door as I leaned back against the wall.  To create some resemblance of privacy, he turned on the shower before turning to me. “What the hell happened back there?”

“He was being a smartass and I clocked him.” I answered bluntly.

“And you told him to stay the hell away from you?”  I shrugged, as if it weren’t a big deal, which at the time it really wasn’t but I didn’t remember half of what the fight was about now that he brought it up.  “I don’t even know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say, Sam, I mean, we argued, I hit him, he fell on his ass and I told him to go to hell, that’s pretty much the gist of it.”  I shrugged and reached out for his shirt.  Sam backed away, covering himself with one arm as he put up a finger to ward me off.  “I don’t want to play General Hospital, Sam, just let me look, let me take a shower and I don’t know, get on with things.”

“You’re not going to be able to move on from this when you have to look at Dean for the next few days and you’re both pissed at each other.”

“I’m not pissed at him!”  I snapped.  “I swung at him, and now I’m over it, he just needs to stay the hell away from me!” I reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer as he smiled and moved his arm, and then removed his shirt.  “Now, how much damage did we do last night?”

“I’m not worried about my stitches,” Sam whispered, his fingers running through my hair as I placed one hand against his stomach, tightening the skin, not that there was much needed, before I started to remove the tape with the other. “You two cannot stay like this forever.”

“Why does it matter that your brother and I are on speaking terms?” I looked up at him as I watched him grimace when I tugged on the tape. Yeah this section had been on a bit too long. Aggravated with process of the tape, Sam took it in his fingers and ripped it off, but the gauze still held. I smile as he groaned in pain as it took some of those fine hairs with it and he rolled his eyes.  “So, why?”

“Because you two care about each other, as hard as it is to believe that Dean cares about anyone, he really does worry about you.” I thought back to the comment that I made. I wasn’t Charlie, I wasn’t that fiery red head LARPer that wanted…needed the Winchesters, at least I didn’t want to be, but I was wrong. “You don’t realize how much you’ve gotten under his skin, do you?”

“I know he’s gotten under mine,” I mumbled and grabbed a cloth, wetting it from the shower as I used it to help get the gauze to release from his skin as I pulled it back.  “Sam, Dean and I…”

“Stop,” he whispered, placing his lips against my head, “whatever you’re thinking about him, just stop. He’s not the man you think he is.”

“What happened to your dad?”  I whispered and knew that the topic was going to throw him off.  Sam sighed and his hands rested on my shoulders for a moment before he gently rubbed my upper arms.

“The line you told Dean, about Dad’s hunting trip, yeah we found him,” Sam sighed, but stopped talking the instant I stopped caring for the stitches.  I saw how this was going to go and once I started back up with my task, the words started to flow from him.  “He wasn’t the same, not after Meg, not after the hospital.”

“He gave the demon the Colt?” I asked softly.

“Yeah, he did, and it made good on its promise, Dean was alive and well, and healed but Dad didn’t die.” I looked up at him.  “I assume that’s why you’re asking, because in the show, he did?”

“Yeah, he traded his life for Dean’s because Tessa needed a soul.” I watched Sam nod and then his lips were back against my head. “So, what happened?”

“Dad was possessed, not by the yellow eyes but something else, something darker,” Sam let out his breath against me and I closed my eyes, letting it sink in as I finally got the last of the bandage to release. “We tracked him for years, but he just disappeared, like off the radar.”

“So you stopped looking?” Sam stepped back, looked at the way that his stitches looked, still all intact and then his eyes rested on mine and he gave me a half-smile.

“You never stop looking for someone, I mean really looking, you just have other paths you have to follow.”  He whispered as if it were just another day in his book, but I couldn’t get it because I never lost a dad, not that way, not to a demon. “So, am I okay, Doc?”

“They look good, but they need to air out.”  I whispered and cleaned around them with the cloth.  Stepping back, I let out the breath that I was holding and shrugged.  “Let it dry and when I get out of the shower, we’ll put one back on.”

“Yeah,” he said softly, grabbed his shirt from where he had placed it and slowly pulled it on.  With one hand on my waist, he leaned down and kissed me, brushing his lips gently across mine. “I’ll see you when you’re done.”

And with that, he disappeared out the door, leaving me in a steam filled room with nothing but my thoughts, and those of Dean.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this whole thing right here went to hell in a hand basket... at least for the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 days 3 hours and 12 minutes at the time of this posting before the actual Dark Hunters adventure begins.

Chapter 16

As the shower cascaded over me, I couldn’t help but scold myself.  I put my head back against the wall, let it wash over my skin, at points turning so hot that it felt like needles and then just as cold that my fingers would turn numb. The things I said to Dean ran over in my mind. 

Charlie! I brought Charlie into this, even if she hadn’t died the same way as in the show, she still died and she was still their friend, but I was hurting and I wanted Dean to hurt just as much.

The problem was the reason I wanted him to feel it wasn’t because I was mad at him, it was because I thought he was the only one who could handle it. Really, like that man needed anything else to feel pain over, and now he had what I said to him in the back of his mind, or the front every time he saw me.

There was a knock on the door and I put my head down against the shower wall, my forehead pressed against the wet, cold tiles.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” I mumbled, pretty sure it wasn’t loud enough for them to hear but the knob turned and the door clicked open.  “All right! I’m getting out!”

“Probably not a good idea,” Dean’s deep voice penetrated the sound of the water in my ears and I put my hands up to steady myself, and keep from flinging the curtain open.

“What are you doing in here?”  I growled, and I wanted to kick myself.  I just was internally bitching because I had let in on him and now I was snapping.  “I mean, I’m in the shower and your brother is outside.”

“Who do you think told me to come in?”  This made me stop, shake my head and groan.  “Hey, now, if I was interrupting, you should have said something.”

“Shut up!” I teased and listened to him sit down, and the only reason I knew he had sat was because the seat cover on the toilet squeaked. “Why did he send you in?”

“Are you really doing a photo shoot with an Impala?” He replied.

“We’re both in the bathroom right now because your brother sent you in here and you’re going with a photo shoot? That’s your burning question?”  I snarked and rolled my eyes.  “Yes, we’re doing one with an Impala that, remarkably, looks just like yours, minus the scuffs on the quarter panel, and has a trunk full of fake hunting props.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s fun, Dean.”  I mumbled and finally had enough.  I reached out my arm out and snatched the towel off the sink just as I turned off the shower. Once dried and wrapped, covering from under my arms down to just above my knees, I stepped out and stood with my back against the porcelain sink. “Face to face, why did you come in?”

He looked me over once, let his eyes settle on the fading mark on my shoulder and sighed. I watched as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before rubbing his chin.  I waited for him to finish, gathering his words and finally he sat up and looked at me.

“I don’t know what to say, except,” he shrugged, “I meant every word.”

“You son of a bitch!” I snapped.

“Hey, if you think you are more than capable of saving your own ass, I’m not going to stop you or pretend that I think you’re right.”  Dean stood and walked over to me, his arms crossed as he look down over every naked inch of my upper half before his eyes landed on mine.  “You will never be close to the hunter that Charlie was, and I don’t give a shit how she died on your little show, or who the hell you think you are, but you swing at me again, I’ll knock you on your ass.”

Dean opened the door and looked at me one more time before he went to step out.  I knew I was about to push my luck but I was damned if that man was going to have the last word.

“Were you scared?”  I questioned and watched him stop.  I turned to stare at him as he stood straight and waited.  “Were you scared when John whispered in your ear that you might have to kill Sam if he kept down the road he was on, or were you just waiting for the opportunity to present itself so that you could finally be rid of the responsibility of your little brother?”

He turned towards me, backed me up against the sink and placed on hand on each side, grasping the counter with white knuckles.  I could hear the growl low in his stomach as he pinned me there, waiting, just waiting for me to make the wrong move but I didn’t cave.

“You think that you’re the only one who has ever had to deal with the idea of having to put someone down that was completely out of control?”  I whispered, locking my eyes on him, but I let my arms relax as I felt the anger and the hatred build in me.  “Do you think for one second that you were the only soul on this planet that had the burden of keeping someone else from slipping to a side that might bring about the end of their life, or force you to be the one to end it?”

“What are you talking about?” He whispered, but it was more of hiss as I leaned closer to him, a tear sliding down my cheek.

“Try being the one who has to make that decision for yourself!”  I murmured. “Try being the person who teeters on the edge of sanity debating if you are too weak to save, not strong enough to keep fighting, that you are the evil that needs to be put down. Try being the one that stops yourself from doing every dark and twisted thing that pops into your mind, and then, Dean, after you’ve tried all of that, then tell me what you would do.”

The suddenness of my hands pressing against his chest as I pushed him back gave him no time to react when I moved out of the room and grabbed my bag by the door.  Sam looked up as I walked by, headed towards the loft, but he didn’t say anything until Dean started to follow me.

“What the hell did you do?  I sent you in there because you wanted to talk to her, to straighten this crap out, not piss her off more.”  That was Sam’s voice, loud enough to echo through the garage.

“Get out of my way, Sammy!” 

“What the hell, Dean!” Danni growled and I heard her footsteps coming closer as I reached the top of the loft and started to change.  She crested the steps just as I pulled the shirt over my head and stopped.  “Ali?”

“I told you I couldn’t stay.” I took a deep breath, packed everything back in my bag and turned to her. I must have looked like I was scared shitless because she started to approach me very carefully.  “Not with him.”

“Why? What did he do to you?  Did he hurt you?”  I stumbled back at her words. 

Dean? Hurt me? Was she out of her mind?

“What? No!” I snapped catching myself. “Dean would never hurt me, he just… he just…” I licked my lips, trying to find the right words but I shook my head. “I used Charlie, Dan, I _hurt_ him.”

“That doesn’t explain what the hell just happened in the bathroom.” Danni whispered and stepped up to me.  “Tell me what’s going on.” She seemed to approach with a caution that made my stomach turn and I closed my eyes.  “What happened earlier that triggered you?”

Triggered, that was it! That was what was bugging me so much. Everything flashed at me at once. The vampire at the bottom of the incline, the wolf in the woods, the body by the river and suddenly I was back in that car, but I wasn’t coming up for air, I was still trapped in that seatbelt and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t get away.

I struggled to breath, found it harder than hell to move, in fact the only thing I could do was keep my eyes so tightly shut that I saw stars.  I felt something on my face and the image of the monster came at me, the one with the bloodied mouth, the dripping fangs, red with the blood of the dog that lay twitching beneath it and suddenly it sprang.

My eyes opened quickly, as I took in a deep breath and tried hard to back away from the hands that held my face. My arms whipped out, trying to break the hold that was on me, and my legs kicked hoping to help me run away but there was nowhere to go, I had backed myself into a corner.

“Hey!” His voice was deep, authoritative and sometimes downright nasty, but it took me out of the blackness, pulled me right from the memories and I found myself staring into those green eyes.  Dean’s face was full of worry but it was stern and I felt him move one hand, almost petting my hair.  “Hey,” a little quieter this time and I was able to make out Danni and Sam who were huddled close by, as I focused on him, “Ali, look at me.”

“Dean,” it came out as I whisper, one that I don’t remember even moving my lips to say but with that little smile on his lips, he set reality concretely in place and I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I’m sorry,” I whispered against his neck as I closed my eyes, “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, Kid, it’s okay,” he gathered me up and held on tightly as he cupped the back of my head with one hand and I felt Sam’s fingers join his brother’s on the small of my back, gently caressing as I shook.  Danni rubbed my arm and I let the three of them calm me, their presence seemed to be everything at that moment.  “Wanna tell me what happened?”

“No,” I whispered, my lips against his neck and suddenly, the thought of Sam’s mark attracting vampires had me backing away, completely out of his arms and I pressed against the box I had been leaning on, my knees pulled up to my chest.  “Danni doesn’t know.”

“Know what?”  Danni questioned. I licked my lips and tried to pull on everything that I had.

“You said I wasn’t the only one that had to deal with that decision, about which side someone might slide too,” Dean whispered and shifted just a bit closer to me.  Sam looked at him, a bit confused but Dean raised his hand.  “In the bathroom, you said try being the one who had to decide for yourself.  What did you do?  Why would you… why would you end yourself?”

“What?” Danni snapped but Dean reached out and put a hand on her leg, silencing her.

“I’m a hunter,” I whispered, and looked up into his eyes.  “Not like you, not like Sam, but my own hunter, and my own monster.”

“You’re not evil, you can’t be a monster.”  Dean whispered and I took a deep breath.

“I haven’t been for a while,” I closed my eyes and put my head down on my knee, suddenly tired but wide awake.  “When I was younger, I was plagued by nightmares, bloody things that made me think I was mad. I thought they would pass, that it was just a phase, but then one night, while I went out to grab the dog, something happen, something that told me that those nightmares were real and I wasn’t just seeing them in my head, I had done them before in my life.”

“You were just a kid, Ali,” Danni sighed and I opened my eyes to look at her.

“I wasn’t when I did them,” I answered and shook. 

This was real to me, whether they believed it or not and it was a struggle I still had even to this day. Which was reality, what wasn’t, and I look at Sam, hoping to see that he understood. I let out a breath when I watched the pain in his eyes, not that I wanted it there, but it was the type of thing that told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.

“What happened with the dog?”  Dean questioned, my eyes snapping back at him.

“Um, it was night, a little past dark, and the dog was tied up on the bank, wrapped around a large tree and I called out his name.” I felt myself being drawn back into that memory and my hand went out, instantly taken by three others that kept me grounded.  “He was black and gray with a hint of white around the muzzle, but in the night he was almost invisible, so I turned the flashlight on and pointed it up to where he was.  I watched his legs twitching, and thought maybe he was sleeping but the closer I got the more I noticed the way he was moving and the thing that was above him.”

“What, Ali, what was it?”  Sam questioned, his fingers suddenly on the back of my neck, caressing the skin under my hair and I could feel the heat of him at my back.  He was close, close enough to kiss.

“A vampire,” I whispered but I came out as if I didn’t have a care in the world, just nonchalant as ever, but then it hit me.  “It came after me,” I leaned my head back towards Sam’s voice, feeling his forehead against the back of mine.  “That’s when I knew, that’s why I studied them.  It bit me and I didn’t change.”

“Jesus, it bit you?”  Dean questioned, repeating what I had just said. “How old were you?”

“Ten,” I whispered, letting my eyes wander to the man who sat beside me, the one who had felt every bit of my wrath and I could see the strange worry in his eyes. “It’s how I know, how I know that you can’t change from just a bite, because I never did.”

“No wonder the bastard at the hotel didn’t shock you,” his voice lowered as he let out a sigh.  “The vamp last night, the wolf, the body by the river, they triggered you?”

“Yes, but, Dean,” I picked my head up and sighed. “I shouldn’t have said any of those things, I should have just…” I paused and let my guard drop, “I shouldn’t have punched you.”

He laughed, then let it form into a small smile. “Yeah, well, I kinda had it coming.”

“Still, what I said to you, about…” he put his hand up, stopping me because he either wanted it dropped or just didn’t want to hear anymore apologizing. “Fine, we’ll talk about later.”

“Fine,” he answered, leaned forward, a motion I jumped at, and I watched him sit back slightly. “You, ah, you get dressed and we’ll just get going.” 

I listened to the force in his voice as it seemed to deflate, like that one little motion of denying him any contact had defeated him.  I watched him stand, glance at Sam, who he patted on the shoulder and then I heard his boots on the wooden stairway.

Danni smiled at me, as I looked around the loft.  She hadn’t known that secret, which was okay because most didn’t especially since the “supernatural” wasn’t supposed to exist, just like the man behind me and the one standing down below weren’t supposed to exist.  She reached out, patted my leg and winked.

“I’m going to go shower and change, since things seem to be defused,” she whispered and looked up at Sam. “Keep our girl safe.”

“Will do,” he answered, but there was a small hint of a smile in his voice.

Danni turned and disappeared down the stairs after Dean. Listening to the silence for a few minutes, both Sam and I waited to hear something, anything from them. We heard a wrench hit the floor, the echo itself made me jump in his arms but the words that screamed up were classic Danni. “Son of a bitch, you scared the hell out of me!”

“Me?” Dean snapped back, “why the hell did you sneak up on me like that?”

“Yeah, they’re starting to play nice together,” Sam mumbled against my hair as he pulled me close. I smiled and pressed his lips harder against me.  “How?  How have you kept that all to yourself for such a long time?”

“Who was going to believe me?” I laughed, pushing back from him as I tried to look anywhere but his eyes, because he didn’t need to see the terror in them, the horror of remembering that one night.  “I mean, no one believed me then, why would anyone believe me now.”

“Hey,” his hand touched my cheek, turning me towards him and I watched the small smile form on his lips. “You do know we kind of specialize in what others don’t believe, right?”

“Yeah and apparently cases of “special kind of crazy” too,” I sighed. 

It was amazing that having his arms around me seemed to ease my mind, but I turned in the spot we were in and put my back to him.  Sam’s arm entwined around me and pulled me in closer as he sat with his back to the boxes.  I was nestled there between his legs, safe in his hold and for the first time in a long while, not afraid of anything.

“Actually, special kind of crazy is my favorite thing, next to gummy bears,” I looked up at him when he said it and watched the large smile run across his lips. Gummy bears, really?  But he just looked down at me and winked.  “So, let’s hear it.”

“Okay, well, you asked for it.”  I sighed and allowed myself to think back to that night, my hands automatically going to his, as I felt his fingers tighten around mine when I slipped them in between his large hands. I needed to get this out and I knew, besides the two downstairs, he would be the only one that believed me.  “The dog didn’t move, not when I called it’s name, not when I stepped closer but the way it shook, something was wrong.  The thing, that vampire that fed from it looked up at me and I had no idea what I was staring at.  Blood was everywhere, on it’s face, covering it’s clothes, or what was left of them, like he had been shredded by something but his body wasn’t damaged.

“Anyway,” I whispered, trying to shake the image, and I felt his arms tighten as I trembled, “the...ah, the vampire jumped at me when I was close enough.  It took my arm, and just bared its teeth.  You can’t imagine the pain,” I paused, smiled as I thought about just who I was talking to, and shook my head, “well maybe _you_ can, but I screamed, that I do remember.  The blood that ran down my arm, that is all I can see because it hurt so bad I think I started to pass out.  I know my dad came outside, I know that there was a shout and a gunshot but that was all that I remembered, except for its face...I’ll never forget its face.”

“If your dad shot it, why would no one believe you?”  Sam’s voice brought me back from the darkness and I shook my head.

“The doctor said I was delusional, that my overactive imagination was the cause of what I thought I saw because I couldn’t deal with the image of what I had come up on. They said he had a seizure, but there was so much blood.  Blood doesn’t come out like that, not...like...that.” I swallowed and tried to slow my racing heart as he caressed the side of my face with the tips of his fingers, feeling the tears as they ran down my skin. “They brought me to more specialists but there was nothing, nothing to prove that anything had actually happened, that there was a monster there.”

“But the bite?”  I sat forward and turned to face him, feeling his hands go to my waist as I place my own on his chest.

“It was gone, two days after it happened, it was all gone.”  I whispered, shaking my head.  Sam’s brow creased, a bit confused at the strange way the bite had suddenly vanished.  I closed my eyes, already knew his next question. “I know, so how did I know it was actually there to begin with, right?”

“You have to admit that would be the first question to come to everyone’s mind, I mean, you were ten and confessing to a vampire biting you.” It wasn’t that he didn’t believe me but I knew, because this was Sam’s logic, that there would need to be proof.

“I had a friend take a photo of it.”  Those brows went up as if to tell me how smart of a girl I was, which made me just want to knock him one but I took it with a grain of salt because it wasn’t the first time I had run into it, and it wouldn’t be the last.  “It’s in a safe box at my house, I don’t carry it with me but I do keep several copies.  You’re right, who is going to believe a kid when the mark disappears, not a single damn person, but try faking a picture from that long ago, especially an original.”

“So, what, you decided to research?”

“Well, I wanted to know where it went, and I wanted to know if I was going to turn, because, come on! I had seen Lost Boys and there was no way I was living in an old hotel that fell through the ground in Santa Carla if I didn’t have too.”  I watched as Sam’s grin widened at the movie reference, one he obviously had the pleasure of seeing and he nodded.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to either.”

“Research became my thing, became my sanity and I learned everything I could about vampires, and werewolves.  They’re distant cousins you now,” apparently new information to him, and I nodded, “oh, wait something a Winchester didn’t know.  Surprise, surprise.”

“So, the men of letters missed something, not a big deal.”  Sam rolled his eyes and I couldn’t help but smile.  Strangely enough, I found that even though I was telling him probably one of the worst experiences of my life, I couldn’t help but smile. 

“They didn’t know about the virus part of it either, did they?”

“Actually, that they did, but let’s not talk about them.” I felt his fingers trailing over my thighs and upwards as his eyes came up to meet mine.

“Look, Legacy, you can’t always get what you want, when you want it,” I laughed, swatting his hand away as he went to grab the belt loop for my jeans.  “We have to leave soon, Danni and I have to make it to Lawrence.”

“About that,” Sam said softly and bit down on his lip.  “Do you think we could, I don’t know, stop by a place.”

“The cemetery or the house?” Sam shrugged and took a deep breath, collecting himself as I watched the playful look disappear from his face slowly.

My turn to be the one to bring him out of it.  I sat up, pressing my body close to him and captured his lips between mine.  I could hear him take in a breath, as his eyes went wide and his hand came around, tangling in my hair. The distraction worked well, it got him out of the dark mindset but it put him into a completely different one and I heard him moan lightly against the press of my mouth.

He grabbed be the back of my thighs, pulling me closer to him, and I found myself straddling his lap.  With a smile, I listened to that possessive growl he let off when his hand spanned the small of my back and I was suddenly so close to him that I could feel his heartbeat. Just as things were started to get heated, especially when I gasped at the feeling of his hand riding up the back of my shirt, the sound of boots purposely loud on the stairway shook me from the ecstasy of the moment.

Sam sighed as he released the hold on my lips and I turned just my head to see Dean leaning against the wall, not fully cresting the stairs.  His arms were crossed and damn it all, the smile on his face was a mix of pure evil and over-excitement that he had once again walked in on the middle of something.

“Danni’s done when the two of you...teenagers...are done getting your fix.”  He grinned and oh how I wanted to take my shoe off and throw it at him, but while Sam just closed his eyes, tilted his head back and nodded, I stared that man down, shooting daggers in his direction.  Dean winked and turned just a bit before he looked me over, the same look he always gave, like a once-over to make sure every extremity was still intact, then headed down the stairs. “Stay dressed, I don’t need to wait for you to zip it up before we leave.”

“Can I shoot him?” I questioned as I turned back to Sam and kissed his chin.

“Mmm, not if I shoot him first,” he smiled and opened his eyes. “Is this what you’re wearing in the photos?”

“Yeah, jeans, tee, flannel and boots, got a problem with that?”  I went to move off his lap but his hands clasped down on my hips and he sat up, giving me no where to go.

“I think it looks great,” he whispered, but there was just a tone under it that had me blushing, “and they’ll look so much better on the floor of the backseat.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re brother is really going to go for that.”I laughed, kissing him softly as I unclenched those fingers from their place at my sides.  I slid off from his lap and watched as he eyed me over, before standing up himself. As we made our way down the stairs, he stopped me, an arm coming around my neck and his lips a breath away from my ear.

“I really don’t care what Dean goes for, I want you on that seat.” His voice was sultry and dangerous and definitely one of those “what Sam wants, Sam gets” kind of tones.  “Besides,” he teased as the warmth crossed my cheeks, “if he keeps looking at Danni like that, we’re not going to have to worry about where the hell he is much longer.”

I stopped for a second as he released me and walked past.  I was shocked, well okay, I wasn’t THAT shocked but the fact that I had missed all the signs threw me off just a little.  What looks? What the hell did I miss?  Sam turned his head as he passed Danni and the table, looked me straight in the eye and then glanced at his brother, getting me to look in that direction.

Son of a bitch! Dean was sitting on the floor trying to buff out the scratches on the side panel but his eyes were locked on the backside of the woman repacking her bag!  I smiled at this and cleared my throat as I made my way over towards the Impala.  Dean stood, grabbed the rag off the back of the car and headed towards the open trunk.  He looked up at me, just his eyes, as he began to rummage around. I leaned against the panel, wiped at the dirt that was on the car with my finger and waited for that knowing grin to spread across his cheeks.

“Dean, I’m sorry for what I said.”  I admitted, sticking my hands in my back pockets.

His eyes came up again, this time locking on mine. “Forget it, it’s forgiven.”

“What? Wait, that’s not how this works.”  I took a deep breath and watched him stand and come around the taillight, rag in hand. “Dean you just don’t forgive something like that.  What I said to you?  I used Charlie…”

“God, you and Sam really are meant to be.  You’re both too pigheaded to drop crap.”  He shook his head.  “Listen, Kid, I have a thicker skin than that, so you’re going to have to say, do and throw a whole lot worse at me to get me to leave you alone.”

“Seriously, who’s the pigheaded one here, I’m trying to apologize.”

“And I’m the one that doesn’t know how this works,” He smiled, wrapped his hand around to the back of my neck and pulled me in to kiss my forehead.  “Consider yourself forgiven.” He stared into my eyes as he raised his brows and I just gave in and nodded.  “Now, don’t we have a photo thingy with a car to get too?”

“Yeah,” I sighed and looked around for Sam, my glances resting on Danni before I looked at him again.

“I don’t know why you didn’t just ask me for photos.,” He mumbled as he started to situate the back of Baby, “I’d take picture of you and my sweet thing all damn day.”

I crossed my arms, grinning at him as I admired the view of him leaning into the trunk.  “Yeah, the difference is, photos with you would definitely involve nudity and we’re so not going there.”

I watched as he turned, all grin and winked which made me roll my eyes and walk away.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How weird would it be to see some chick riding around in your baby, oh and more than that, how would it feel if your girls were being hit on. Ask Dean, he'd know.

Chapter 17

It was a four hour trip from Vinita to Lawrence across state lines and with as much convincing as it took to get the guys to leave Baby in the garage, it was ten times more so to get them to leave the arsenal that Dean had intended to bring there as well.  I stood with my arms crossed looking at him fill not one or two bags but three of the rucksacks with various forms of weaponry, but it was when he picked up that grenade launcher that I had to shake my head.

Looking at me like I had just scolded him and taken his favorite toy, Dean placed it back in the trunk and finally zipped the bag.

“Is this all really necessary?” I questioned as he grabbed the last bag and stopped by my shoulder before he past. I turned my head to look up at him, as he stared straight ahead, contemplating and then turned to focus on me.

“For you to be safe, it’s entirely necessary.”  He gave me me a small grin and reached out with his free hand, stroking my cheek with the back of his callous skin gently.  “I already told you, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Not on my watch.”

“And when your watch is over?”  Dean gave me the distinct impression at that very moment that it was never going to be over, not as long as he was alive. I turned to him fully, closed the distance as I pressed my body against his side.  Dean’s stare became light as he let his hand slip down to my waist, but only lightly holding onto me.  “Okay, so do me a favor, when you’re done watching my ass, at least in the protective sense, do something about the way you look at my sister’s.”

That smile, the little sly grin he was always giving me, faded from his face and I heard him clear his throat. He leaned down closer to me, his eyes narrowing and I waited.

“Don’t,” he whispered, as if it were a secret, but did I let on that Sam was the one that pointed it out to me. His eyes closed just for a second and those fingers tightened before he looked at me again. “I’m not sure how to handle it yet, so please, don’t say anything.”

Dean saying please in any manner of the word was a little off putting, but I could see the fight in his eyes.  He was just like Sam, trying to figure out how to bring the walls down, trying to figure out how to let someone in.  I placed my hand right above his heart, letting the even thump of it play against my palm and it began to race the longer I was silent.

“Dean, this is your thing to bring up, your move.  I’m not going to say anything that would jeopardize you.  It’s your heart, you follow it the way you need to.”  I listened to the exhale, as if it were some sort of relief and he placed his forehead against mine.  Though I would never understand the endearing gesture, the personal space between Dean and I had become pretty null, and I was completely okay with that.  He kissed me softly on the head, breathing in the scent of my hair and smiled.

“You still smell like Sammy,” He grinned against me and I patted his stomach with the hand that I had over his heart.

“And, you’re still an ass.” I exclaimed as I heard his low laugh before he stepped away, the hand that held my waist left light touches across my stomach as he headed for the Escape that sat outside in the morning sun.  Arms wrapped around me from behind as I felt the strangely smooth cheek of Sam’s face close to my ear.  “How did I not see your brother’s interest?”

“Because you’re too close to him,” Sam laughed and I put my hands down to intertwine my fingers between his.

“Shouldn’t you think that’s a bad thing?” I questioned and listened to him laugh, it wasn’t a full belly laugh but just a small sound that still vibrated through me.

“What, that my brother protects you?  That he’s always that close?”  I turned and looked up at Sam but the expression on his face wasn’t what I thought it would be.  Here I was thinking how insane the whole deal with Dean constantly touching me was, and Sam was standing there looking at me confused as if I were insane for not understanding it.  “It’s just how he is, contact is essential for him when he trusts you, he can...I don’t know...feel it. It becomes more tangible, stronger through the link.” 

Both of us turned towards the escape as we heard the smack of a hand against material and I felt Sam’s hair against me as he shook his head.  Danni stood looking furiously at Dean, who stood with a wide smile on his face, while she rubbed her hand against the seat of her pants.  I couldn’t help the smile that crossed my lips, but when Danni brought her eyes to rest on mine, I burst out laughing, Sam being the only thing holding me up as almost felt my legs give out.

The position seem to have the man behind me a little riled up as he pulled me back against his chest and I realized instantly what I had done. Wiggling in his arms, pressed that close, was probably a bad thing if we were going to spend four hours in a car, and I stopped when I felt his lips on my neck, and a little sting of a nip as he played with the mark he had left. I slipped out of his hands quickly and turned to look at him with a grin that could only say one thing.

“We’re so not leaving if you keep that up.” I grinned and watched the smile cross his face as he licked my lips and scanned me over from head to toe. “And keep looking at me like that and the vampires aren’t going to stand a chance in hell.”

“Yeah, well,” he closed the distance again, sweeping his arms around me.  I watched the hard darkness return to his eyes and felt the protectiveness in his embrace.  “They so much as scratch you and no one will survive.”

“Easy there, Cowboy,” I whispered against the lips that had descended to mine, and I felt him shake with need, the need to hunt.  “We’ll get there, and before you know it the threat will be gone.”

“Holy Hell, you two!” Dean mocked.  “Get a room or get in the car, we don’t have time for this!”

Sam’s lips were passionate and possessive against mine as he stole my breath before letting me go, taking my hand and pulling me to the truck.  With one hand on the door to the passenger’s side door of the Escape, I watched Sam get in behind Danni, but my eyes set on the backside of the man closing the gate.  If Sam was right, and Dean needed that connection then why was he doing it so close to the beginning of this dangerous little trip?

Dean turned, headed right towards me finishing the last of that American Spirit that had rested so loosely between his lips before he snuffed out the butt and tossed it in the garbage, and winked as he got into the truck.  I took a deep breath breath, not sure I was ready for this ride, but it was still early and the vampires that plagued my thoughts wouldn’t be out for hours.

I closed the door, locked down my belt and gave Danni a grin.  “Let’s get this show on the road.”

With a glance at the backseat passengers, she put the car in drive and smiled. “Eye-eye, Captain.”

~~~~~

The conversations were light and didn’t stray too close to the topic of vampires, John, or Cas, but there were moments of silence that said more than words could ever say, and then there were the touches, light gentle brushes of Dean’s hand on the back of my neck as he used my seat to pull himself forward, and then the soft smile of Sam’s lips when his hardened eyes caught the shocked looks I gave him each time his brother did it, acknowledging that while possessive of me if it were anyone else, Dean never made him even bat an eye.

There were also the little glances that Danni tossed back, especially when Dean leaned forward to steal some of her snacks from the center console. The two of them brushed hands more than I could count and I had to smile as I watched the playful touches. Sam laughed a time or two and it was a contagious laugh, one that had me just watching him and the way that it took him over, which of course got Dean going and the two of them feed off each other.

I had lost the content of the conversation long ago, as I was swept up in the feeling of safety, the scent of the Winchesters and their presence and the hopeful glances of my sister who sat beside me on this little road trip.

The first pitstop came an hour into the drive, and Sam was out the door before I could catch him.  Dean lazily stretched beside the escape pumping gas as Danni went into pay and I casually strolled over to his side and found a warm spot on the car to lean against.

Dean watched the pump, eyes fixated on the numbers as I watched him.  His tongue flicked out, licking his lips before he glanced down and over at me, a smile forming on his face. 

“I feeling pretty damn uncomfortable with you just standing there silent, say something woman!” he snapped playfully.

“I don’t want to kill the mood,” I answered but took my eyes off him as I put my back to the car.

“How could you possibly kill the mood, and I didn’t realize we set one?”

“When you touch me...”

“I’ll stop!” He snapped, but his voice had turned ugly.

“NO! Don’t,” I reached out and brushed my fingers on the hand gripping the handle to the pump and watched as he looked down, his eyes following my fingers as his mouth opened just a bit.  “I just wanted you to know how safe you make me feel, but I don’t want it to interfere with anything you think might come up between you and Danni.”

“She’ll understand,” he whispered confidently.

“Why? I mean, how could you know that?” his gaze came up to meet mine.

“We talked about it.”

“You, the man of not so many words unless you’re scolding me, talked to Danni about your need to touch me?” I stared at him confused, as he nodded. “Okay, when was this and what the hell did you say?”

“She kinda let in on me about the whole ‘leaving you alone’ deal and I told her no way in hell was I going to do it.”  Oh, yeah, that...you know, when I socked him and told me to leave me the hell alone, yeah, apparently that didn’t go over well with the older sibling. He shrugged but I could hear the emotion in his voice.  “I already told you Ali, if anything were to happen to you, I couldn’t live with myself, and I know that you’re with Sam but I have this need, this feeling...this connection that I can’t figure out. I need to touch you.”

“Sounds kinda kinky.” I smiled just a little.

“Yeah, I know, and it’s not a feeling I understand. And, I’m not making any excuses for needing to do it, but, you have to understand one thing,” the pump clicked off and he placed the nozzle back before replacing the cap and closing the distance between us.  “You and me, we’re not a thing but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anything come between us.”

“How would anything come between us when you are the most stubborn man I know,” and that was when I looked passed him at the tall, gorgeous man that turned my insides to jello, who was walking towards us.  “Well, besides that one.”

“Yeah, well, Sam gets it, and I hope to God that Danni does too,” he reached out and moved my hair behind my ear.  “It’s been a long time since I cared for anything, anyone besides Sam and I’m not used to it.”

“So, while you’re trying to figure me out, in your “not a thing” way,” I smiled and watched his eyes light up as Danni approached, “open yourself up to the possibility that this, whatever is going on between you and her, could definitely be a thing.”

“I’m well aware of it, Al.” He sighed, his thumb running over the back of my hand that still held his fingers. I heard him sigh in frustration. “This has got to be the most screwed up and nerve wracking case ever!”

“Hmm, between the two of us, we shouldn’t have any nerves left.”  I smiled and watched as he rolled his eyes.

“Get in the damn car,” he growled and shook his head as he gave me a little push, releasing my hand.  I smiled at him as we both rounded the tailgate, catching a light kiss from Sam on my forehead before we loaded back up and took off north once more.

~~~~~

The sign said “Lawrence City Limits”, and the speed limit sign posted staed 45 miles per hour, which Danni was totally ignoring. I watched the two men behind me both crane their necks to see the polished 67’ Impala that waited for us in the parking lot. The look on their faces was priceless and I wished more than anything that I had my cell out, oh yeah, and that it actually worked right, so I could video tape it. 

Dean was in a state of shock, but kind of drooling, guess he’s never seen anything like it besides his own, and Sam had this cheesy half-cocked grin on his as he glanced at the car and then the look on his brother’s face.  Yeah, like two little brats in a candy store. 

When Danni pulled up beside it, and a woman stepped out, the backseat passengers were a little more shocked, not that I understood why, but I guess a woman driving Baby around was just not something they acknowledged everyday.

Danni got out, shutting down the car as she took her keys with her, like the boys might take off in a hurry, and I followed suit, minus the keys. I couldn’t help the smile that plastered across my face as Megan looked genuinely happy to meet us when we stepped up to the car.

“Looks like you ladies came with a car full,” she smiled and both of us turned back to look at the SUV.

“My cousins live not far from the place I stopped for the night in Ohio and apparently they are road-tripping to Austin, so Danni offered them a spot for the night.”  I smiled and shrugged, stuffing my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. “They’re big fans of Chevy so when we said 1967 Impala, they needed to come and drool, do you mind?”

Megan let out a giggle, “not at all.”

Danni walked over and opened the door, laughing as Dean nearly fell out but my focus was on Megan and her expression.  I wanted to see if there was any inclination as to who the two men might be, but all I saw there was interest.

“Those two are your cousins?”  She questioned, looking at me with raised brows, and I could see while she didn’t recognize them, she was definitely impressed.

“Yeah, the tall gene kind of runs on in the men on my side of the family.”  I shrugged and turned towards the car, now wondering just how accurate it was to the one that we had sitting in the garage and not the one on the series.  I was pretty impressed, everything seemed to be in place, but there was one thing missing. Me or Danni behind the wheel. “So, what’s our plan of attack?”

Danni stepped up beside me, leaned in through the window and turned to wink at me. “This is going to be fun.”

Both of us backed out and glanced over at Sam and Dean, who had managed to wrangle Megan into opening the trunk.  “The question is, what do we do with the two of them?”

“They can be in the pictures or not, it’s there choice, I have no problem.” Danni shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest.  “But, you know, we haven’t really had some time to ourselves, I mean, real time.”

“I know, the car ride down was botched by the vampires at the gas station, and it seems no matter which way I turn, I have a Winchester beside me.” I sighed and watched the smile cross her lips.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I wanted to roll my eyes because she was right, it really wasn’t but then again, I wanted to keep her to myself too. “Tell you what, when we settle down for the night, we’re going for drinks, just the two of us.”

“Yeah, and how do you think we’re going to pull that off without one or both of them being up our ass?” I laughed and she rolled her eyes at my choice of words. “Let’s just figure out a way to get through this and then maybe, just maybe we’ll get away from them for a little bit, because you know what? I could really use a drink.”

“So, what are we doing first?”  Megan asked as she stepped up and I glanced behind her as Sam and Dean went to stand by the Escape.  “How about a picture with the Lawrence sign?”

“Perfect!”  I smiled and looked at Danni, who grinned and nodded and thus began the adventure of the Impala photoshoot, which went relatively well until the Lawrence police department squad car pulled up on the other side of the green that we were parked on. 

Danni did a quick take in the direction of the Escape and shook her head, signaling the boys to stay put as they sat inside and Megan smiled as two younger officers got out, lights flashing to warn other drivers that they had stopped, and made their way over to the spot where we were parked on the grass, unfortunately covering the sidewalk.

Officer Kenneth Grenwich, at least from what I could read from his tag, stepped up to look over the interior of the Impala as I sat behind the wheel and Megan and Danni spoke to the other officer, a Douglas Foreman.  The man, tall, dirty-blonde, with close-cropped hair and stunning blue eyes looked over the dash before his eyes landed on me. 

I was sitting back, the seat no where near where I could possibly reach the pedal and he smiled.

“Supernatural fan?”  He questioned and watched as I smiled.

“Not the first one you’ve seen I bet.”  I replied, trying to play it cool but all I could think of was that my name was written all over that motel receipt, you know the one that was left in shambles with the headless monster in it, covered in blood.  Yeah, my name, not anyone else’s. Grenwich smiled and gave a quick nod.  “How many do you get right here at this sign?”

“More than our fair share, I guess,” he answered.  “We don’t mind it though, it brings in tourists and money, especially with Mary here.” I watched as he stroked the car’s door and smiled.  “I really do appreciate the beauty in classic cars.”

“Yeah, she’s gorgeous.”  I answered as I looked down at the seat beside me, thinking about the gun tucked into the back of my pants.  Megan stepped closer, camera in hand and cleared her throat, maybe she could see my unease.  “What’s up Megan?”

Grenwich’s eyes were suddenly on the woman with the camera, and not focused so heavily on me or the way that I happened to be sitting uncomfortably in the car. Danni looked me over, as she spoke with Foreman, keeping a smile on her lips and her thoughts invested in the conversation but her eyes were full of worry.  I must have looked completely freaked out.

“Wanna be in the photos?” Megan asked the officer, who gave her nothing but a big grin and I listened, and followed directions like a robot as Megan told the officer where to sit and how to interact. 

I could almost feel the boys from there, the glare in their eyes as they sat in the car watching carefully, but Grenwich didn’t do anything threatening as he played along with whatever Megan told him to do. A pretend argument with both Danni and I, a photo from the passenger’s side of him leaning over questioning Danni (who was driving) and me, about license and registration.

My cell went off halfway through a little bit of a break, where Megan concentrated on Danni, which was good because the space between me and that officer seemed to lessen by the minute. I didn’t even need to see who it was that texted, but I excused myself and headed for the car.  I ducked around the passenger’s side of the Escape and turned towards the open door.

It was a faster than lightning move as Sam grasped my shirt and pulled me in for a deep kiss, a marking  one and I smiled against his lips.  Hmm, jealousy kind of looked good on him. When he let me go, at least enough to breath, I glanced at Dean, whose eyes were locked on Danni and his face told me that he was fuming in quiet agony.

“Dean,” I whispered and Sam also turned his head, but with a little bit of a smile. The only response I got was the green-eyed man grunting.  “DEAN!” His head whipped around to me and his brow furrowed in anger.  “We’re almost done. Why don’t I see if Megan can drive us to the next location and you do, I don’t know, can hunt around Lawrence.”

“Wait, you’re doing more?”  Sam questioned, like it was a big surprise that yeah, we didn’t drive all the way out here to JUST  take picture in front of the city limit sign.

“Actually yeah, and I’m pretty sure one of the places on our little tour you guys don’t want to see.”  This got another reaction from Dean besides the look of jealousy on his face, and if I was reading his expressions right, he was about to ask me…

“Are you insane?”  He snapped. Hmm, pretty good guess. “Where exactly would you be going that you think we wouldn’t go?”

“Stull Cemetery.” Oh, yeah, that got a good roll of his eyes, so far back that his head went with him. “I told you that you weren’t going to wanna see it.”

“What on earth would possess you to go there?”  Dean snapped and I smiled, but it faded when I looked at the same kind of worry that crossed Sam’s face.

“Look, we’re not going in, we’re just taking a picture with the car outside the gate.”  I wrapped my fingers around Sam’s large index and felt his hand squeeze around me.  “I swear we aren’t going to step foot on that soil.  Believe me, I know what went down there and I’m not chancing it.”

“Well, we’re not taking a chance on something happening if you go alone either.” I locked my lips shut, clenched my jaw and shook my head at him. He was as stubborn as they came but he was right, there was always that possibility.  I rolled my eyes in agreement and watched as he just went back to watching Danni.  “Can we get rid of the dress blues, please, seriously that guy is making me uncomfortable.”

“You’re not the only one.” I answered, looked up at Sam as he kissed me on the forehead and stepped away from the car.

As I rounded the front bumper of the car, I heard a noise that instantly had my eyes up and focused on Danni.  She laughed, but it wasn’t a natural sort of giggle, it was a whole body laugh, and one that I took as fair warning.  She smiled at the cop in front of her, Grenwich handing her a piece of paper, as she placed a hand on his arm, in a flirty kind of way, and I glanced back at the SUV.

Dean was leaning forward in the seat, using the steering wheel to brace himself, but the look of the green monster that boiled in him seemed to kick my ass in gear. I went back to Sam and reached across his lap, snagging Dean by the shirt.  He resisted but when his eyes flashed to mine, all I could do was shake my head.

“She’s not trying to get a rise out of you, Winchester, she’s trying to protect you.”  I whispered, but could almost hear the low growl that vibrated through him as he held onto what little control was slipping.

“I don’t need her protection,” he hissed through clenched teeth.

“From the Lawrence Police Department, yeah, I think you do.”  I felt Sam’s hand on my back as I practically lay across him, his fingers spread wide, which meant he was suddenly in protective mode as well. “The laugh was a signal, the flirt is to keep him off our backs.”

My phone vibrated against my hip, against Sam’s leg and I quickly snatched it out of the pocket just as I peeked over the dash to look at Danni, who had her phone in her hand. Looking at the screen, I realized she was pretending to put in a phone number but sending me a warning at the same time.

“So?” Dean snapped and though I knew he was irritated, I wished he would keep his tone under control, and he must have seen that because his fingers were suddenly gracing my cheek every so gently, almost ghosting them.  “What did she say?”

“We need to “pack up this show and haul ass, Officer Dipshit wants to know who we’re traveling with”. I don’t get it, why does it matter?”  I watched Dean reach for the 1911 behind his back and my hand came down on his thigh, as Sam’s fingers bunched up the fabric of my shirt.  Dean’s eyes, who had gone back to the young officer and Danni, who was running out of ways to distract him, rested on mine again. “No guns, we’ll get out of this.  He’s not a monster, just a dumbass human.”

“Well, that dumbass human is about to get ganked if we don’t move.”  Dean sighed, releasing the gun, and slid his hand down to mine, where he gave me a quick squeeze and let out another pent up breath.

“All right, I’ll go move things along,” I backed out, feeling Sam’s hand slip and I stared at each one for just a moment. “You two sit tight and keep your pants on, there is no need to go wild west on anyone here.”

I didn’t wait for a response, though I heard something muffled as I quickly rounded the car again and headed back toward the Impala.  Danni, with a look of relief in her eyes, watched as I approached and engaged both the officers and Megan.

“So, I like what we got here, are we onto the next stop. Sunlights going to start fading if we want to catch that sunset in the pictures.”  I smiled and watched Megan take the cue.  She smiled, and nodded.

“Yep, I know the perfect spot right out of town.”  She grinned and Danni smiled, but it was half-hearted and full of anxious glances.

“Okay, then,” I looked at the two uniforms. “It was great to meet you both, and thanks for the photos.”

“Our pleasure,” Foreman replied and Grenwich grinned.

“We hope to see you again real soon.” That was from Grenwich, directed at Danni who just grinned and I couldn’t help the smile, because that grin said “not a chance in hell”.

Megan hopped behind the wheel of the Impala as the two of us headed back towards the Escape. Once the patrol car was out of sight, Sam and Dean stepped out and the five of us stood between the two cars, Dean’s eyes locked protectively on Danni as I leaned back against Sam.

“Not your cousins, are they?” Megan asked, staring up at Sam, who scoffed at the question.

“No,” I admitted and felt Sam slid his hand, or at least attempt to before I caught it. Why do they always go for the guns? You can’t just shoot everyone.  “But, if we tell you who they really are, they’d have to shoot you.”

Megan smiled at this, and gave me a wink.  “I see, well, at first it was the scar that threw me off, but now I see it. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, total look-alikes.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Dean said sarcastically but with a smile on his face, “you have us pinned.”

“Okay then, why don’t we head out to the airport motel where we talked about the other photos, then onto Stull?”  Megan smiled and watched as we nodded in agreement before she put the camera away and climbed into the car.

I watched Danni as she took Dean’s hand while the car pulled away, the little squeeze his fingers made on hers even gave Sam a smile but I decided that the two needed to talk and tugged on him to move to the passenger side with me.  I felt him take a deep breath as his arms wrapped around my shoulders and mine went to his waist.

I felt his lips against my head as his heart rate slowly dropped and his body started to relax.  “We don’t have to go to Stull, at least you guys really don’t have to follow us that close, Megan already said we could ride in from the motel.”

“You’re kidding right?” Sam mumbled against me, but he had a smile in his voice. “I have this feeling…”

“You always have a feeling.” I teased, but I felt his hand go to the back of my neck before his fingers slid around and he caught just under my chin. With a gentle push, I tilted my head up to look at him. “The impending doom feeling?”

Sam nodded, the frown gracing his lips before he released my gaze and looked around.  The Impala sat idling at the exit to the parking lot and I heard him take in a deep breath, in fact, I felt it, and I tucked my hands in the back pocket of his jeans, giving him a little squeeze as I pulled him closer, which had me backed up against the car.

“Where are we staying tonight?” he whispered, and I was pretty sure that it wasn’t for the reason I was thinking at that moment.  I shrugged and glanced quickly at the couple who were practically touching heads while they were talking.  “Let me guess, Danni’s got some elaborate plan?”

“Drinks at a bar once we’re done, just the two of us.” I smiled and the expression I got told me everything. “I know, not the best plan in the world, but Sam, this was supposed to turn out completely different, we weren’t supposed to be here, I mean, not in the middle of a monster fight with the Winchesters, we were supposed to be on a “Supernatural” hunt of our own.”

“Yeah, I forgot that this was your first actual in-person meeting,” he cleared his throat, gave a few gestures like he was thinking but the smile crossed his lips. “I’ll do my best to get my brother to let you two be for at least an hour, but I can’t promise you anything Al.”

“I would be more worried about you being able to leave us alone for an hour.” I laughed and watched as his eyes went dark, as if he were thinking of us getting hurt and I moved my hands from his pockets to his neck, my thumb caressing the skin of his cheeks.

“Hey, we’ll be safe, I swear.” I searched his eyes, trying to find that one little hint that he wasn’t about to go off and kidnap me just to keep me from doing something stupid. I felt him relax, heard the door open to the other side of the car and both of us looked up to see Danni slip behind the wheel and Dean climb into the backseat. “I’m guessing that’s our cue.”

“I assume so.” He leaned in and kissed me quickly before moving over to get into the backseat.  Glancing around once more, trying to get rid of the feeling of being watched.  I opened the door and pulled myself in, tapping the panel of the silver Escape before I buckled my seatbelt.  Danni gave me a quick glance and headed out of the space towards the waiting 67’.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is Dean always trying to pick a fight, why am I always trying to get a rise out of him, and how can Sam and Danni stay so calm?

Chapter 18

The Airport Motel was a beat up wreck but definitely perfect for a “Supernatural” photo-shoots since most of the places the boys stayed were pretty beat up. Megan was able to get pictures quickly, doing different poses that we had discussed along with some that we hadn’t thought of and while she was changing batteries in the camera, or checking out other little things, like angles, I was actually able to take a second to smile at the situation.

“A quiet day for once,” I whispered and lounged back in the seat, letting the feel of the sun warm the black material that surrounded me.  Danni smiled and put her head back as she looked at the view.  “So, what were you and Mr. Obsessively Protective talking about?”

Danni smiled, and turned to me, it was a good one, at least I thought but then it faded. “I told him that he was a jackass.”

This made me burst out laughing and I found myself trying to catch my breath. “You called Dean Winchester, one of the scariest men I have ever met, and trust me, I’ve met his brother, a jackass?”  I watched Danni nod, but the smile didn’t return to her face.  “Why?”

This time Danni did grin. “I told him I wanted him on his back beside a roaring bonfire with nothing but the wind between us.” It must have been the wide-eyed look of shock on my face that set her off on a rather long tangent of laughter, and the visuals I was getting set my cheeks on fire. 

“What did he say?” Curiosity was definitely my downfall.

“That it all depended on what he was doing, was he fixing his car or pulling my hair.” My mouth nearly dropped and I glanced over at the Escape.  Sam stood against the grill, his arms and ankles crossed as he watched for potential threats but Dean was sitting inside the car with the door open, his head back.  I didn’t even want to know what he was doing.  “So, I called him a jackass and grabbed his ass.”

“Holy Shit, woman, are you asking for trouble?”  I couldn’t help but laugh, because she wasn’t asking at all, she was demanding it. 

I needed to get out of the car, needed to stretch because there was no way I was going to be able to sit there with images of Dean naked on the grass without thinking about Sam and how I really needed some time alone with him. 

It was at that time, when I was sitting at the back of the Impala that Sam pushed off from the car and walked over. Danni slipped out of the car and joined us at the tailgate which prompted Dean to also shed the confines of the car and make his way down.  As the four of us stood there, all separate, but still close enough to touch should one of need the contact, and sure enough, Dean found a spot against the tail right beside me, his arm touching mine.

I looked at the way his arm pressed against me and then I looked up into the bright green eyes and sly smirk that crossed his lips before I rolled my eyes and elbowed him gently.  I could see the small grin as the corners of his cheeks turned up and I had to shake my head, I don’t think I would ever understand the dynamics of it but even with how close he was standing to me, arm pressed the length of mine, I could still feel Dean’s fingers reaching, brushing against the back of my hand as he pulled it ever so gently from my pocket.

“Okay, so with Megan working on things, I think we should discuss what’s going on next.”  I spoke up, clearing my throat as Sam stood to the left of me, his own hands digging deep into his front pockets, and while Danni seemed relaxed, she tried to look everywhere but the spot where Dean and I stood connected.  No matter what little inch I gave, he stepped closer and I knew I wasn’t getting away.  “Stull? thoughts?”

“Bad idea,” Dean spoke up beside me which immediately got Danni’s attention. His voice was deep and authoritative, kind of like the big brother I never wanted, and I glanced up at him.  “Look, Stull’s reputation aside, that place is bad news for everyone involved.  Things tend to follow you home when you even get close to the grounds.”

“So, it really is haunted?” Danni questioned, and Dean kind of gave a nod but more sucked on his lip before his eyes met hers. 

“Haunted isn’t the word for it, you’re talking witchcraft, satanism, and ghosts, not to mention the fact that it is literally a gateway to hell.” Dean said with a bit of snark as if we didn’t know all of these things to begin with.  “Listen, it’s a just a bad idea, okay, I mean you’re just asking for trouble there.”

“Okay,” I spoke up and gave the fingers I held a little squeeze of reassurance.  “Stull is done, we’re not going but you’ll have to tell us what the hell actually went down there one of these times.”

Dean turned to me,  the personal space between us disappeared in an instant as he looked down into my eyes. I could tell he was just about at his wits end with something that was bothering him but all I got was the angry stare and the hard set of denial in his eyes.

“I don’t have tell you a damned thing, little girl,” he whispered and I watched the hurt in his eyes.  He released my hand and stepped away from the car.  Oh, brother, here we go again.  I looked at Sam, who took a step in his brother’s direction before I gave a slight shake of my head.

Rolling my eyes, I followed after him, leaving Danni and Sam to watch and I grabbed his arm this time. Dean spun around at the touch and clenched his fists. He was looking for a fight, like the cops had gotten him so revved up that he had no idea how to handle the situation.

“Stop, just for a second.”  I whispered and watched as he clenched his jaw, a sure sign that he was suppressing his anger. I could see the white knuckles on his hands as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’m not trying to piss you off.”

“You’re doing a lousy job of it,” he snapped and I took a breath, trying to keep my own cool as he shifted his weight.  “Why would you ask about that?  You should know what happened at Stull, Ali, why would you even bring that up?”

“I thought I knew what happened at the Devil’s Gate in Wyoming too, but some wiseass happened to mention that his father was missing and not dead, which in my world screws everything up, so yeah, questioning what happened in Stull is kind of important.”  I retorted and watched as he did his classic Dean face, that angry shake of his head, the bitter eye-roll.  “I’m not asking for the whole story, not for every detail, but Dean, you have to trust me that I’m not asking these things to piss you off, I’m asking them to get a better sense of where you’ve been.”

“Trust you?” He snickered and crossed his arms, essentially blocking me out, before he leaned in close, keeping the conversation between us, but I heard the shuffle of dirt as Sam approached and Danni was right behind him.  “You don’t get it, besides Sammy, I have never trusted anyone more, but you’re pushing it.”

“What about Cas?”  I mentioned and watched him stand up straight, the shocked look on his face, and the hard way he swallowed before the anger returned told me that I had just pushed it too far.

“Don’t ever speak his name again!”  Dean growled and stepped back just as Sam reached us.  Dean looked up at his brother, glanced at Danni and turned, walking away down the road.

“Dean?”  Sam questioned, before he got too far, but the older of the two ignored him.  Sam placed a hand on my cheek, gave me a reassuring look and then started after him. “DEAN!”

“Well, now that I’ve royally screwed that one up,” I sighed and turned to Danni, “I think I’m really going to need that drink now.”

“He’ll be okay,” Danni whispered, but I knew it was more for her own sanity than my reassurance.  I turned, rolling my eyes and headed back towards the Impala as Danni continued to watch the boys, who had stopped a ways down the road.  I didn’t have anything to say when she finally followed me back and rested against the car beside me.  “What was that about anyway?”

“Pushing Dean away, pulling him closer, hell if I know.”  I sighed and looked down at the rocks below the toe of my boot.  “Did you really talk to him about our… I don’t even know what to call it, but his need to be in contact with me? I mean he’s always touching, always taking my hand or kissing my head, doesn’t that bother you?”

“It obviously bothers you.” I looked up at her quickly and watched her kind of stare off into the distance. “You and Dean have history, you know two days before we even got together, two days of some really touch and go stuff, and if he feels the need to keep that contact with you, what am I going to say about it.  He told me that it was just a feeling, there wasn’t anything between you, nothing sexual, so why would it bother me?  Better yet, why does it bother you?”

“Because it’s Dean, that’s why!”  I snapped and shook my head.  “Because I shouldn’t feel this way about the brother of the man I want more than anything, because he does nothing but irritate the hell out of me and I can’t leave him alone! What the hell is wrong with me?”

“You share a profound bond,” she smiled which made my head snap in her direction and slowly she turned to look at me, a giant grin on her face.

“Okay, Cas, way to be sarcastic!” I mocked and crossed my arms as I watched the two brothers approach.  “Seriously, what the hell?”

“I was kind of being serious,” Danni shrugged, “Dean brought it up before, he’s just as confused about it as you are, as I am but you can’t change who you’re connected too.”

“Sam said it was the way he dealt with the trust bond, by feeling it through touch, something tangible. Okay, so him I get, but that doesn’t explain my need for it.”  I shook my head, catching Sam’s eyes as Dean made his way towards the Escape.  Sam resumed his position at the front of the grill as if protecting his brother and I turned away from him, put my back to both, before looking up at the sky. “Why me?”

“What do you mean, why you? Why not you?”  Danni whispered, stepping closer to her shoulder touched mine.  “Why not send you on this adventure that you’ve waited a lifetime for, or pair you with the biggest badasses the world has to offer so you can fight not only the demons inside yourself but the ones in the real world?  Why not you is what you should be asking, and there’s a very simple answer for it.” I looked over at her, as a smile formed on her face, “because the universe decided that it couldn’t be anyone else but you.”

“Yeah, way to go universe!” I sighed and looked up as Megan stepped towards us.  Danni smiled she turned towards our hostess, who cleared her throat and smiled.  “Any other stops?”

“A couple more, but I wanted to let you know before you take and get a shock or two when you look at these, I kind of took some liberties and photographed you and your cowboys over there while you were all near the car.  I thought you might want some since you didn’t mention it.”  She grinned and I raised a brow at Danni, who all but blushed at the thought.  “So, our next one was the Midline Gas Station and then the grain silo.”

“Sounds good,” Danni answered and glanced at me before I stood straight and sighed.  “Let’s head out, we have, what about an hour or so before the sunsets?”

“About that, yeah.”  Megan smiled, put everything in the Impala and Danni grabbed my arm, tugging me back towards the car. 

I stopped before I got close enough and felt her release my arm as Sam stepped towards me.  He winked at Danni and closed the distance, his hands tucked deep in his pockets.

“Listen, Sam,” I whispered and closed my eyes, wanting to explain myself but I really didn’t have an explanation for anything. He reached out and touched my cheek, just comforting me as he stood toe to toe, making me look up.  “What is my problem?  I mean, can I go a second without hurting you or your brother?”

“You didn’t hurt me,” he whispered, but I could feel the chill in his voice, like he had closed something off. “And you didn’t hurt Dean.”

“Bullshit!” I snapped backing away from him.  “You can’t tell me that him walking off wasn’t because he was either hurt or about to swing.”

“He would never swing at a woman,” he said softly, defending his brother, as he should, but I moved far enough away that his hand dropped from me.  “What is going on?”

“I don’t know,” I shut my eyes tightly and took a deep breath before locking them on him. “I can’t do this anymore.  I am so ramped up that my anxiety is going through the roof and I’m looking for monsters at every turn.  I don’t want to be this way, I don’t want to be in this situation.” Sam stood, as if he were offended, which I could see why he would be, I mean, I just told him I didn’t want to be in a situation that had brought us together but that wasn’t necessarily what I meant. “I want to find these vamps, and I want to take their heads off.”

“Now you sound like Dean,” he whispered and gave me a slight grin.

“Then find me something, Sammy, find me something to punch or stab before I hurt you or your brother again.” I felt his arms wrap around me and his lips on my head as he sighed and I just let the smell of him flow over me. “A few more stops and then we’re done for the night.”

“Good,” he said softly, “I kind of want to get you alone, I think you need to work off some energy.”

“I think your idea of letting off some energy and mine, might be two different things.” I sighed and suddenly shivered as his tongue flicked out and grazed past my ear, which made me moan just a little as I reached out and gripped his shirt. “Or maybe they’re exactly the same thing.”

Sam laughed low, something that vibrated near my ear, and went all the way down to the heat between my legs as he slowly backed away, tracing my cheek with his lips.  Oh why did the man have to be pure sin! He pulled a sigh from my lips as he brushed them with his own, and I just wanted to melt when he took that step back, taking my hand in his.

“Come on,” he whispered and tugged me towards the car.  I slipped in the front seat, glanced up in the mirror as I buckled the belt and came eye to eye with Dean’s bright green ones as he stared me down. I listened to him sigh, break my stare to watch Sam climb in and then turn those eyes back to me as we drove down the road. “Where’s the next stop?”

“The old Midland Gas Station,” Danni shrugged, but I watched the strange glance that the brothers exchanged before I decided to focus on the road.

~~~~~

We parted ways with Megan just after sundown in quiet part of Lawrence where she handed us the SD card from the camera and told us to enjoy, we also agreed that we would let her know how the rest of our “Supernatural” vacation was going before she nodded in the direction of the boys and told us to keep Butch and Sundance out of trouble. Easier said than done, but we agreed.

The next stop was dinner, which went over about as well as one would have thought since Dean hadn’t spoken to me since the Airport Motel.  We ordered, Danni sat by him, Sam sat by me and the conversation was light, almost to the point of nonexistent but that was okay because I was looking forward to the bar and a couple drinks in order to relax. We found a small motel along the route home and stopped in for the night, best part was, there was a small roadhouse bar right across the street and ample enough empty rooms that we were able to get two adjoining ones.

Once we were settled into our rooms, okay, so the whole guys room/girls room thing was a crock of shit because we all knew that there was no way it was staying that way.  So once settled, Danni and I changed into something more comfortable and less...hunter’s layers, before heading over to the bar.  It was then, as I waited for Danni to get out of the bathroom, that I spotted Dean leaning against the pole, his back to me, one hand in his pocket, and the puff of smoke told me that he had a cigarette in his hand.

I grabbed my leather coat from over the chair, slipped it on and glanced back at the bathroom before heading outside, closing the door quietly behind me.  I watched Dean shift, saw the muscles in his shoulders tense as I approached and slipped past him, only to stop and turn when I was out of arm’s reach.

He looked me over by the light of the streetlamp, narrowing his eyes as he brought that stick to his lips and drew in a deep drag.  I watched as he started at my feet and worked his way up as he blew out, releasing the breath he held and the smoke escaped from the side of his mouth.  It amazed me how natural it looked on him, finally realizing that this wasn’t the Dean I knew but that this was MY Dean. This was my very own hard-as-nails, screw-the-world and the demons, Dean Winchester and I had hurt him.

“So,” I exhaled and leaned up against the car, watching the way his body moved as he breathed. “About earlier.”

“You know, you are the biggest pain in my ass!” He said, snuffed the cigarette on the bottom of his boot and tossed the butt into the trash like a basketball player.  He advanced quicker than I thought he might and suddenly his hands were on my cheeks, holding my face gently as his thumbs caressed my skin. It took me a second to breath, to take him all in and then I realized that I was up against a car with nowhere to go, and an unstable Winchester holding me. “Honestly, Porter, do you really think I’m a girl or something?”

“Oh so the silent treatment wasn’t you holding some kind of grudge or being angry at me?” I questioned, watching the darkness swirl in his eyes.

“If I had opened my mouth at that point, yeah, I would have said something stupid and hurt you and screwed up probably one of the best things that’s happened to us in a long, long time,” the confession had me tied in knots but I knew that no matter what there were two other best things right inside that door, for both of us. “So, yeah, I kept it shut, I sucked it up and then...I let it go.”

“Dean,” I paused, not sure what the hell to say to that but I knew one thing, I couldn’t let Stull go, I couldn’t let John or Cas go, but I reached up and put my hands on his, the ones that so gently held me when I knew there was a monster inside waiting to come out. “What do we do now?”

“Well,” he smiled and slid his hand from my cheek to around my waist, pulling me into an embrace. The one he left there gently moved to the back of my head and, ghosting against the back of my neck as I pressed my cheek to his chest and he put his chin on my head, clearing his throat. “How about this, you keep being a pain in my ass for as long as we can, and I’ll keep protecting yours, and when this is done, when the threat is gone, then we’ll talk. We’ll talk about Dad and Cas and I don’t know, maybe even Charlie.”

“I don’t want you to tell me anything that will cause you pain,” I felt his chest puff out as he took a deep breath and felt the warmth of it as his lips pressed against the top of mine.

“So, total chick-flick confession time,” he mumbled, muffled by the fact that he hadn’t eased up on his hold at all. “I think not telling you anything is causing me pain.”

“Wow, you really are new to this friends things, aren’t you?” I smiled and felt him push back so that I could look into his eyes.

“You were never my friend, Ali, not from the moment we met, not from the second that you looked up at me with that blade in your hand,” he whispered, like it was a complete secret, “no, the moment you reached down and touched my brother, you were family.”

Thinking about our meeting, the way that he had looked at me when I leaned over Sam, the pain he was in because Sam was hurting, that made the tears flow and I watched the smile flash on his face and then disappear just as quickly as he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

“Wow, the two of you are make me all tingly and stuff,” Sam’s amused voice interrupted and I couldn’t help the smile as Dean stood straight, looked up at the stars and licked his lips before turning to his brother.  I wiped away the rest of the emotions as Dean let me go, turned towards the taller of the two and cleared his throat.  “I mean, by all means don’t let me interrupt this classic Hallmark moment.”

“Screw you, Sam!” Dean snarked as he kissed me quickly on the forehead and walked by, purposely bumping his shoulder as he walked passed.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Sam smiled as he glanced back at Dean, who was standing in the window, his hands on Danni’s shoulders and a wide grin on his face, “but I thought a little nudge in that direction would help.”

“Not bad, Winchester, not bad at all.” I praised and felt his arm around my shoulder as he leaned against the car with me. I snuggled up close to him.    

 “So, while you two weren’t talking in the diner, I managed to get him to agree to lay off you for about an hour.” I looked up at him and felt his hands at my waist, before I knew it I was sitting on the hood of the Escape with Sam between my legs looking up at me. “Rules though.”

“Sam, I’m older than you are, there is no way I’m doing rules for a bar like some kind of underage teeny-bopper looking to sneak a few shots.”  I laughed and he shook his head.

“Not rules for that, you can have what you want, but you have to promise to text me when you want to leave, Dean and I, or just me or just him, one of us will be there to walk your teetering ass home.”  Teetering, really?  He was teetering on the edge of something he wasn’t even ready for if he kept being so damn controlling.

“You’re such a control freak!” 

I reached out and grabbed his chin, a gesture that I was sure to get some sort of quick reaction to, but he just relaxed against my fingers and let me tilt his head back where I had more access to his neck.  I could hear his quick breaths as my lips moved across the stubbled skin just under his jaw and when I brushed my teeth against him, the man nearly growled.  His fingers tightened on my thighs as I continued and at one point, I swore he stopped breathing.

“I can’t wait to get you alone,” I whispered as I trailed up to his ears, “I want to do so many bad things to you.”

“Then you should decide right now to either stop or go because you’re pushing a fine line on how much self-control I have.” He literally moaned in my ear and licking my lips, which also gave me a taste of his skin and a rise from him, I backed away slowly, releasing his chin as my fingers branded their way down his chest. Sam took in a quick deep breath and grabbed my wrist before those bright blue-green eyes, the ones that suddenly seemed to glow, focused on me. “Go to the bar, woman, before you can’t walk for a week.”

“Promises, promises.”  I whispered and suddenly felt his hand on my ass and he pulled me so close I could feel the reaction to my playful teasing, but the look in his eyes told me that I was definitely in trouble.

He stepped back, giving me some space and putting some distance between the temptation and himself.  He winked at me as Danni and Dean walked out the door.  I smiled as I looked past my Moose and saw Dean’s hand protectively on the back of Danni’s neck. The four of us stood next to the Escape, the distance between us grew smaller, especially with me sitting on the hood.

“You ready?”  I questioned and watched as Danni grinned.

“For a couple shots and some down time? Always!”  She winked and looked at Sam, who still had that predator look in his eyes. “You going to be okay there, Sammy?”

“Don’t,” Sam whispered, shaking his head, but his argument died down rather quickly as she smiled at him and he sighed.

Dean stepped up to me, standing right where Sam was moments before and I looked at him with a bit of confusion. I watched him reach behind his back, and then his arms came around behind me and I felt his fingers on the skin of my back, as he lifted my shirt, and I straightened.  They were warm and rough but it was the cold metal that slid against my skin, dipping down into the back of my jeans that made me take a breath in as I gazed down into his eyes.  He cleared his throat, licked his lips and stepped back releasing my shirt.

“I need to feel that you’re safe, so bear with me and just take the damn gun back.”  He growled softly, but it didn’t matter how low he said it, the other two had heard.

“In the spirit of trust, since I know this is really hard for you,” I traced my finger along his hairline, “I’ll take the gun.”

“Good, now go, cause your hour is ticking,” he winked as he slapped my thigh and helped me down from the car so that I wouldn’t scratch the new paint job. 

Hmm, an hour without Winchesters breathing down my neck, what the hell was I going to do with my night?


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few drinks and an hour away from the supernatural word....Murphy's law...what could possibly go wrong!!!

Chapter 19

Danni and I sat at the bar, looking around at the patrons trying to get a good field for the place, but it was swarming with people from all different walks of life, bikers, preppies, a couple hippy looking characters and my favorite, the nerds who were drunk enough to approach every woman in the place.

I turned and smiled at her as we hogged the corner seats way in the back, a perfect spot to keep our backs to the wall and our eyes on the crowds.  I shook my head as the bartender, a gentle looking young man with unruly black hair grinned at us as he put the towel down and replaced the pretzel bowl.

“What can I get for you beautiful ladies tonight?” I grinned at his voice, happy and upbeat and I sat back as I raised an eyebrow.

“Orange Soda and vodka.”  I replied and looked at Danni with a raised brow.

“Hmm, house margarita, if you don’t mind.”  She smiled widely and we both admired his backside as he walked away. Danni turned to me and rested her elbow on the counter as she popped a pretzel in her mouth.  “Finally an hour alone.”

“Yeah, imagine how long that’s going to actual last,” I placed both of my lower arms on the counter and watched the people that moved about. 

“You’re right, we better drink fast.”  She laughed and I turned to look at her with a grin.  “Seriously, besides the drama of the boys, who I swear are more girls than anything, this has been the best weekend.”

“Yeah, sorry about all the issues with Dean, the man makes me wild.”  I sighed but the smile didn’t fade.

“Please, when he called you little girl, I was about to haul off and punch him.” This made me look at her questioningly. “What, no one talks to my baby sister that way!”

“Yeah, well I thought the same thing, swing and hope for the best, but that is one really...really scary Winchester and right then I don’t even think Sam was willing to go that far.”  We both thanked the young man who set our drinks down in front of us and I raised my glass as Danni did hers.  “To more awesome adventures.”

“And figuring out Dean Winchester.”  Danni laughed.

“Amen to that.”  I replied, our glasses clinked together and both of us took a long sip.  Damn, it had been a long time since I had a drink and I had forgotten how good soda and vodka was. 

The hour wore on and we moved on from our drinks to just plain shots, her’s was Patron, mine varied but I got a few shots of whipped vodka in alone before starting in on the Kahlua. We were enjoying ourselves, tucking away in our quiet little corner of the bar when Danni looked up and two men made their way over. You could tell by the look in their eyes that they were on the hunt and a look passed between the two of us, if it was a hunt they wanted…

“You two lovely ladies here alone?” A stockier man with a receding hairline questioned as he leaned on the bar.  I watched as Danni shot a glance at the bartender, giving him just a small signal of the unwanted visitors.

“Actually our other halves are around here somewhere.” I answered.

“Really because we’ve been watching you all night and no one has come over.”  A taller, rougher looking one spoke up.

“I didn’t say they were HERE, I said they were around here.” I replied, giving him a smile, hoping to not set him off but Danni placed a hand on my arm, she could sense the same thing I could, something about this whole thing was just off.

“Ah, so you’re not from around here are you?”  The stocky one asked.

“Well, not really, we travel a lot,” and I felt that hand tighten, as I felt her stiffen behind me.

“Bud and I do too, truckers from South Dakota.”

“Nice,” I nodded and that was when I smelled it, the faint scent of sulfur.  Crap, demons? Really? And here I thought we were going to have a nice night off. “So, truckers, very cool.”

“And what do you two ladies do?”  Boy, were they trying to be slick or what?

“Oh, a little bit of this and some of that,” Danni explained, “kind of a state by state thing.”

“Yeah, it’s sort of a...I don’t know, a family business, I guess you could call it.”  I smiled and we both watched as the grins disappeared from the men’s faces.   I knew those words would set them off, knew it would make them show their other sides and sure enough the black eyes flashed from both of them. “Huh, there’s something you don’t see every day.”

“Yeah, demons in this neck of the woods?”  Danni whispered, then casually grabbed the shot glass that was set in front of her, but I knew she was doing much more than that, with my back to her, most of her body blocked by mine, I knew she was sending out a distress call, a short text to Dean that we had trouble brewing.

“What would you two know about demons?”  The tall one questioned and I glanced up as I watched the door to the bar open. 

Sam walked in casually, he looked around, caught my eye for just as second as I looked back at the men in front of me, and then made a circle the long way around the bar.  Dean moved in shortly after, catching an empty seat at the bar across the room from us and ordered a beer. He looked from me to Danni and back, raised the long neck and gave a grin. 

“You know, you pick up a thing or two along the way.”  Danni answered and leaned closer to look at them. “You wouldn’t believe what we picked up in the last state we were in.”

“You two look like nice young girls, why don’t you come with us out back and we can show you how to have a real good time, since you know, your guys kind of left you hanging.”  The stocky one gave an evil grin. I casually made eye contact with Sam, then turned towards the back door, weighed my options then caught the eye of the man across from us before I stood up.

“Lead the way.”  Danni followed suit and the four of us made our way out towards the alley, unbeknownst to the two demons that followed that backup was already standing by. As we stepped out the back door, into the dingy back alley, I stopped and turned to look at the pair that was grinning wildly, like they had just cornered their next big ticket, but I felt Danni step up beside me and I gave her a little grin. “So, what’s this good time you were talking about?”

I watched as the lanky one pulled a knife from the back of his jeans and let the light shine down on it from the lamp above.  He watched my gaze go to the weapon and his smile gave me a sense that he had no idea what was coming next. I watched him advance, gave Danni a tap on the side to move and waited for the man to get close enough to me.

I didn’t make any sudden moves, but I backed up as he came closer until I was up against the fence. My fingers wrapped around the chainlink as I glanced at Danni from the corner of my eye. Her standoff with the stocky demon was at about the same impasse that mine was, but we we’re there to fight, we were there to bait.

I felt the blade against my neck, the edge of the cold steel just under my chin and I couldn’t help the sadistic smile that formed because, yeah this was going to go over well with the Winchester that I had come to know. I locked my eyes on the man before me and dug deep into my memories.  How did it start, which order did the words go?

_Trust yourself!_ That little voice whispered, one that I had come to know, not one that I knew in person. It was...he was deep and husky, almost sinful, and suddenly I recognized him, trusted him and realized he had been there all along. _Let it out, you know this, you are meant for this._   

I took a deep breath, and opened my mouth, letting the words flow quietly. “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio, infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis, congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo draco maledicte…”

“Shut it, Bitch!” he growled, closing the space as he pressed harder. I felt the breath leave me as his hand came up and that space between his thumb and pointer grasped my neck. “Are you really a hunter? You seem pretty scared.”

“Maybe it’s a ploy to get you close enough, demon,” I whispered, feeling him close the gap in his hands, feeling him begin to life.  “Maybe, I just wanted you distracted.”

“From what? Your little hunter girlfriend?”  He snickered, but the smile faded as his eyes turned black.  I felt the air leaving my lungs but the shadow that loomed behind him, just as tall, but much broader, allowed me to take the shallow breaths I needed to stay conscious and lean into the knife.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus,” I started again and listened to his snarl, but that sound turned to pain as Sam wrapped an arm around the man’s throat, locking him in a choke hold.

Sam’s eyes were dark, not even a hint of the blue-green shined through. His pupils were dilated so much that it was just an edge around the blackness, and he stared at me as his voice deepened continuing the Ritual Romanum, but it was so full of anger and hate that I shivered even as the knife left my throat. Glancing past him, I saw that Dean was holding the other in the same say, but there was no blade, just their fist to the back of the neck and I suddenly could smell the burning flesh.

With those last few words: Audi Nos, I watched Sam let the man go, watched as he seemed to seize and suddenly I was ducking as the black dust seemed to explode from him. The smell of sulfur permeated the air as the other man did the same.  It took me a moment to catch my breath before I lowered my arms and looked at the body on the ground before me, and then up at Sam, who was breathing heavily, his hands clenched in fists.

“Is he dead?” I asked as I reached out for Sam, whose arms were around me as soon as my fingers began to stretch in that direction.  I felt him take in a few deep breaths, trying to catch his heart as his lips descended roughly onto the top of my head.

“No,” Dean spoke up and I moved to see that Danni was tucked safely in the arms of the older brother, but his eyes were locked on me. “Unless the demons used them as punching bags first, these two should be okay.”

“What did you do?” I shook my head and stepped back from Sam. Both men watched as I squatted down and turned the head of the unconscious man. There, like a cattle brand, raised and red against the skin, was what resembled a Devil’s Trap, but the symbols inside the pentacle were just a bit different. “What is that?”

I took Sam’s hand, which was surprisingly easy considering his eyes were still hard as nails and his body was tense for a fight, but he let me uncurl his fingers as I looked at the ring that graced his ring finger, one I had never seen before.

“It’s Pagan,” I whispered, and felt Sam’s fingers suddenly curl around mine, like the admission that I recognized it set him into something protective.  “These aren’t the Devil’s trap sigils.”

“That’s because it’s not one,” his voice, still deep with the anger, caressed my skin as he leaned down close to my ear, “you need to be careful how quick you are to speak, especially about stuff like that.” The warning was directed at my knowledge of the occult and I got that but it made me snap up to look at him. “The sigil is a banishing one, expels the demon from the body, leaving the host alive.”

“Expels?”  I laughed and shook my head. “It dusted the whole area, what kind of expulsion is that? A sigil alone won’t do that.” 

“The ring is filled with holy oil.” Sam whispered, sliding it off his finger to show me the underside of the bulk of it, there was a small refillable compartment.  “When it touches host skin, it pulls the demon out through every pore, essentially creating the dust you saw.”

“How do demons get in and out in your show?”  Dean questioned as he stepped closer, still holding Danni’s hand.

“Ah, they just kind of snake out through the mouth, like smoke.” I shrugged and shook my head, as i watched Sam slip the ring back on. “I guess visual effects make that the obvious way.”

“Ya think?” Dean grumbled. “Let’s bail before someone comes looking.”

“We can’t.”  I answered, pretty quickly and Dean dropped her hand to approach, his hand coming up to grip my shoulder.

“There are two unconscious men on the ground out here, Ali, you need to leave...now.” I think he thought I was in shock because he was stern and direct, staring me down, locking me into a stare. “This could get you arrested.”

“Dean,” I reached out and put a hand on his chest as I stepped back from his grasp, “Danni and I have to go back in, we have to make an appearance.”

“Are you out of your gourd or just plain pigheaded?” Dean snapped, his eyes narrowing, but that was when Sam did the strangest thing, he stepped between us. I expected him to put his back to his brother, to defend him, but Sam stood sideways, like a referee keeping the distance between Dean and I as this conversation began to look like another epic battle.  “Sam, talk some sense into her.”

“Actually, she has a point, Dean.” Sam whispered, his voice slowly losing that dark edge, and both of us snapped around to look at him. “Look, everyone saw the girls walk out with them, if they don’t go back in with some sort of excuse, what do you think is going to happen?” Dean switched his stance, looked at me in aggravation knowing that his brother was right but unwilling to admit it.  “They have to go in, get comfortable at the bar for just a little longer and then they can walk out scot-free.”

Dean took a few deep breaths, sighed and turned away.  He stopped near Danni, placed a hand on the left side of her neck as he stood to her right and looked over her expression before he turned back to Sam and I.

“Make it quick or I’m coming in to get you.” He glared at me, protectively but I waited until he kissed Danni on the temple, let go and disappeared into the darkness to smile.

“Your brother needs a swift kick,” I mumbled and watched as Sam reached out and caressed my cheek with the tips of his fingers.

“I agree with him though, make it quick.” His kiss was chaste and before we knew it, Danni and I were standing in the quiet alley alone.

I stepped over long-and-lanky, stepped up beside the woman who looked as if she were ready to run, not that she was afraid but her fight-or-flight was on edge of breaking loose and I took her arm gently, as I glanced down at the bodies. 

“Come on, let’s go get one more drink,” I whispered and the two of headed back inside.  The bartender wasn’t at all shocked that we were there slipping into our seats once again and slowly he placed two shots down on the counter. “Are you a mind reader?”

“Just a man know can tell when something's up.”  he winked and when he stepped away, I noticed the edge of a tribal tattoo that peaked out from under the rolled cuff of his sleeve.  I stared at him for a while, as he served several other patrons before coming back towards us. Danni had finished both shots and he stopped to look at me. “Did you really think you were the only hunters in the area?”

“Did you really think it was a good idea to let us go out there with a couple of demons?”  I whispered, leaning over the bar.  He smiled at me, a bright knowing smile and flipped the bar rag over his shoulder before putting both hands on the counter, leaning closer to me.

“You have the protection of the Winchesters, how much more safe could you possibly be?” He replied quietly and watched as I sat back in shock.  He knew who Sam and Dean were, he recognized him but it was then that I started to realize just who I was looking at, except for the subtle difference in attitude. 

“Caleb?”  His grin widened and he winked as he walked away. Danni sat forward and stared, her glances alternating between me and the man who was tending bar. “Holy Crap!”

“Didn’t he die in season one?” Danni questioned, just taking in the fact that man stood there.

“Yeah,” I breathed softly, “twelve years ago. Meg killed him.”

“We need to go.”  Danni grabbed my arm, pulling me from the stool as I continued to stare in disbelief. His eyes followed us until we were out the door and walking quietly along the road to the hotel just across the street.  

I could see the tip of Dean’s cigarette from where we approached as he paced impatiently by the Escape. The closer we got, the smaller the space between his steps became until he dropped the stick and stomped it out with his foot. I could see his eyes were trained on Danni, so when he covered the distance between the front of the car and the bumper with two strides, I stepped aside.

I watched his hands come up quickly on her cheeks cupping her face in his hands and his lips descended on hers with a need I had only seen from his brother. A need to connect, a need to feel and right then I smiled, because he finally let that need take over. Stiff at first, Danni wasn’t sure how to respond but I watched her arms come up and slip over his shoulder, as his moved from her face to tangle in all of that hair. I heard the door open and looked up as I leaned against the post, waiting for Sam as he stepped up beside me.

“Hmmph,” Sam exclaimed as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, the whole left half of his body pressed against my back.  “Do you think that he cares that you’re being a little voyeur and just standing here watching?”

“Are you telling me it’s wrong to watch this unfold?” I grinned as he leaned down closer and placed his mouth as close as he could to my ear, breathing warmth over my skin.

“It only becomes kinky if you keep watching when the clothes start coming off,” he answered and I felt him take his left hand from his pocket before it slipped around me. “Come on, I need you to check something for me.”

I grinned up at him, took his hand in mine and let him lead me into the room, still shooting glances at the kissing couple.  I watched as Sam closed the door that connected our rooms and then proceeded to draw the curtains shut as well.

I sat on the edge of the bed, watching the way he moved, quiet, methodical, and slowly, after everything was looked over, after all the wards were checked because, yeah, why wouldn’t we want the room protected against vampires, he leaned against the dresser.

“How did you know about the symbol?” Sam questioned softly. So much for me checking something, this was the hunter Sam wanting to know about the little slip-ups I had been making.

“You want to know about the witchcraft?”

“I want to know how you could have possibly known about wards that no one has ever seen, vampire hex bags from another country and a banishing symbol on rings that we only got a little over a year ago, and don’t tell me that your show told you it, or your libraries.  This isn’t stuff that people write down.” Yep, he was worried, beyond worried about the fact that I had known what he was doing.  “You are one, aren’t you?”

“A witch?” I smiled, laughed nervously actually.  “You have a gun with witch killing bullets and you...what...want me to own that title?”

“I’m not going to shoot you,” Sam sighed.

“How many witches have you let live?” I watched as he crossed his arms but lowered his head as if he understood my hesitation.  “Sam, you hunt the supernatural, you kill things that aren’t human.”

“But you are human,” he stated and looked up at me, “and more intelligent than any hunter I have ever met, so it makes me wonder…”      

“If what? If I’m going to go dark side and let the little spellcaster in me take over?”  I covered my mouth with my hand as I closed my eyes.  “I told you, I knew a witch, who knew a witch.”

“And this witch?” he moved over to kneel in front of me.  I opened my eyes only when I felt his hands on my thighs, and I looked down into the brightness of his.

“She was my grandmother.” I answered and watched his lids close.  “She showed me a lot of things, Sam, especially after the vampire attack, ways to protect myself, but she never...she never used it for anything but good.”

“Ali, witches…”

“Are not all monsters, Sam.” I sighed, reached down and placed a hand on his cheek as I leaned down towards him, “I’m not a monster, not anymore.”

“You never were,” he answered and came up quickly, closing that gap as his lips crushed up against mine.

No, to him I never was, never would be a monster, and as he moved me back to lay against the bed, his form hovering above me as his lips drew out sounds and feelings that only he could, I knew that he would keep me safe from anything and anyone that would try to convince me otherwise.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, you have got to love the morning after, what's worse, you have to love surprises.... NOT so much!

Chapter 20                         

Silence finally filled the night, at least until the water shut off in the bathroom and the door came to rest, the annoying noise of it squeaking sent my teeth on edge. Dressed in one of Sam’s extra large flannels, I stopped by the wooden door that separated our room and listened to the blissful quiet that came from the space beyond it.

Stepping away with a smile on my face, I looked over the man on the bed, who lay with only a sheet covering his lower half and his hands behind his head. Sam was staring at the ceiling, a peaceful look in his eyes as I made way over and sat next to him, the dinghy bandage that graced his stomach taunting me. 

With soft fingers, I traced the edge of the tape, bit down on the corner of my lip and watched his face as I tugged at the edge. There was no expression in his eyes as it pulled at his skin, no reaction to the pain that the tape may or may not have been giving him and this gave me another idea.

He seemed so lost in his world, so caught up on what was going on in his own head that he never noticed that I moved. I knelt beside him on the bed, and leaned over. I could see the way he lay so still as my lips brushed against the skin along his navel. The muscles tightened below my touch as I caressed my way over and along the edge of the sheet and finally, I felt movement from above as his hand came down to rest gently on my shoulder. I had managed to pull my hair back in a ponytail and with that out of the way, I could look up and see his face without the obstruction.

He let out a soft sigh as my mouth gently grazed over the scars on his ribs, and my fingers followed suit, but it was when my fingers ran up and my lips began to move lower that I really felt him.  I managed to move that sheet away from him, to expose everything about him to the chill of the room air and I smiled at his attention.

His moans became deep-throated growls the lower I got, until I wrapped my hands around the width of him and slowly began to stroke the taunt skin. He arched up to my kiss as I blanketed his stomach with lips and gentle nips at his hips but as I moved my mouth lower, I felt his hand move from my shoulder to cup underneath my arms, bringing me up to meet him as he sat up.

His eyes were full of lust and want but his lips were parted, panting as he stared deeply into mine.

“No,” he whispered, licking the dryness from his mouth as my hand snaked up and around his heaviness and his lids fluttered, “not with your mouth.”

“I have never met a man that said no to that,” I whispered, curious as to why he had stopped me.

“I told you,” he answered, moving from under my arms to my waist where he gave me a gentle push, and I smiled as I straddled his legs, “you’ll never be like the others, so no, not with your mouth.”

I got what he was hinting at, the “damage” he thought he could do also tied into oral, and I sat back on my heels before I pulled up once again with my hand, this time his arm dropped back, bracing himself on the bed as his eyes closed.

“You don’t mind this?” I asked looking over the way his neck looked, the tempting open way he leaned his head back.

I slid closer, placing a hand on his shoulder as I teased those little noises from him and I let my mouth find every crevice of his neck, every dip and curve, and the soft skin that I was able to take between my teeth, which drew out the growls from deep within him as he started to buck up against my hand.

His jaw clenched as he fought to stay in control, to allow me to take control, but he was losing the battle as his weight shifted all to his right arm as his left hand shot up to grab the ponytail on the back of my head.  With a gentle tug, he pulled my face from his neck and brought his lips down on mine, still rutting against my fingers, still setting the pace for what might have been his undoing but just as quickly as he claimed my lips, he pulled my hand away from the ache between us.

I smiled at him, wanting to know just what his thoughts were as he held my hand, and closed the distance between our lips once more, only to stop a mere breath from touching.

“I want you,” he breathed, it was a quick confession even as his body shook with need and I felt his tongue gently brush along my lips. “We can’t, you have to stop.”

“Why can’t we?” I wondered and watched his eyes dart to the nightstand, at the ripped foil packet and this alone made me grin. “Oh, that,” his eyes locked on mine quickly and I reached into the pocket of the flannel that I still wore, pulling out a similar wrapper.  “Did you really think I only went in there to wash my hands?”

Sam’s eyes went wide as he slowly released his hold, like one finger at a time released it and I ripped open the wrapper between my teeth and my free hand.  I couldn’t keep the grin away as he leaned back on both shaking arms once again and watched as I rolled the condom down over him, stretching it until it stopped.

His eyes were wide as I moved, rising up to move over, positioning him just where I wanted before I slowly pressed down. His eyes rolled as my breath caught, I was more than ready for him but the hunger to have him completely elicited sounds that I didn’t know I could make.  Sam stayed as still as he could as I adjusted pulling up and then taking him in more with each slow stroke of my body.

His lips pulled back, showing me his teeth as I finally came to rest, hilt deep some may say and I caught my breath before rising up again.  This was it, this was the moment that his resolve shattered and his arms wrapped around me.

He moved to  the edge of the bed, so that his knees were bent and his feet set firmly on the ground. His lips captured mine as we moved. He clenched my body, one hand across my back, gripping my hips and the other seemed to help with the motions as felt him fill me over and over.  It was a marathon race to see who could hold up the longest, but it seemed that even as I thought I was winning, I wasn’t.

Sam had other plans. He stood straight, grasping me as I wrapped my legs around him and he moved to the dresser, the closest place where he could stand, still buried deep inside and he used the height of the furniture to get the angle he wanted. One hand still on the small of my back, pulling me to the edge of the dresser, he used the other to brace himself against the wall, which left me with nothing to do but hold on for the ride.

He was rushed and needy and wild as his lips crushed and bruised but his pace never slowed, never eased until I could feel that earth shattering build-up of my own and I rode it, as I did his, until my toes curled and my fingers dug into his skin. As I spiraled over the edge, I felt him swell and let go, his own release more primal sounding than the last before he slowed, letting himself rest fully sheathed within me as his sweat-soaked hair stuck to not only him but me when he gently pressed his forehead against mine.

Catching his breath, he stole sweet little kisses in between, not ready to back away, not ready to let me go, at least not at that moment.  We must have sat there, stood there, hell just stayed there for five minutes or more, catching our breaths before he backed away and the empty feeling he left me with seemed foreign. He scooped me up and moved me towards the bed, my head resting on his shoulder as he managed to remove the protective latex and toss it without making a mess, or so much as moving too far from me.

Sam grabbed the sheet, or the comforter, not sure which it was, and pulled it up around us as he molded his body to mine, bringing me in so that every part of him touched every part of me that he find and his warmth surrounded me, making me only vaguely aware that though all of that, I was still wearing his shirt.

~~~~~

It was the sound of the door between our rooms that shook me from my dreamless bliss, and as I forced myself awake enough to open my eyes, I caught the naked ass end of Dean moving through the room.

“Dean!” I growled and rolled my eyes as he stopped and twirled in my direction, a hand...well two, covering what he could of his junk as he looked down the bed at me. He cocked his head just a bit, raised an eyebrow and scanned the length of me, which was only covered by the shirt, and even then barely covering anything from the waist down.

“What?” He questioned, the volume of his voice was low, as if he were trying not to wake Sam, but the tone was just as snappy as ever.

“Nice ass,” I smiled and watched as he winked, gave me a “you’re not so bad yourself” grin and turned back towards the room.

“Nice rack,” he whispered, as he turned back to look at me quickly before he disappeared into the other room.  I shook my head and looked down, hoping he was kidding, and found that I was indeed completely buttoned.

“What an asshole!”  Sam grumbled and pushed his face deeper into the back of my neck, ghosting kisses along my skin. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Hmm,” I mumbled and closed my eyes once again, “now I know why you’re so traumatized.”

“Hey, you would be to if you had to look at his ass all the time,” he smiled as he kissed my cheek. “Go back to sleep, I’m going to go get some coffee.”

“Did you even rest?” I whispered as he moved from behind me, tucking the blankets around my legs once again.

“I’ll rest when I’m dead,” he said softly against my ear as he kissed my head and I listened to him get dressed with my eyes closed.

I heard the door clicked shut, and the lock twist tight before I found myself falling back into the darkness.

I was startled awake once more by the feeling of being watched, and instantly I groaned because my first and only thought was the man who had tromped through the room naked earlier, ever though I wasn’t sure how much time had actually past. 

Listening to the sounds of the room, I could tell that either I was alone or Dean was indeed there just holding his breath.  I forced my eyes open, wanting nothing more than to just keep them closed, and took a peek at the room in my immediate view.  I must have turned over because I saw the light streaming in through the window, the small table with my bag on it, and the edge of the dresser, which I smiled at fondly, think of the hours just before.

Nothing out of the ordinary here, but that feeling wouldn’t go away.  Letting out a low growl of frustration, I turned over, taking the blankets with me as I flopped my head down on the pillow, now facing the bathroom door and the pair of legs that sat on the bed beside me. Dark, dress pants clad legs that I didn’t recognize and suddenly I sat up, the gun that Sam had left under the pillow firmly in my hand and pointed directly at the man who silently occupied the space.

I looked him over, my eyes focusing on the bright sea of blue that seemed to illuminated in his eyes.  His black hair was a stylish mess but aside from the fact that the tie he wore was crooked, he was dressed like a business man, albeit a disheveled one.

“Jesus Christ!”  I mumbled, shock running through me, as I flipped the safety off the gun. Vampire killing bullets, witch killing ones, yeah no matter what this gun was packed with, it wasn’t touching this one.

“No, sorry.” He answered and I instantly recognized the voice that had penetrated my thoughts at the bar the night before, the ones that encouraged me to trust my own abilities.

I licked my lips, even though the confusion and the haze of sleep still held me in a daze. “Cas?”

“Ali,” his voice was stoic, not so much monotoned but definitely the deep one I had heard, and I felt my hand shake. “There’s no need for the gun, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“What?”  I started, but it wasn’t that I was questioning what he had just said, it was that I needed to know what the hell was going on and couldn’t find the words.  I flipped the safety up and released the grip on the gun so I could set it down on the table.  “Cas, what are you doing here?”

“I’m surprised you recognize me, I’m not exactly like your angel on the show.” He looked down at his folded hands sheepishly before looking up at me under his brow, giving me an innocent look that I immediately recognized.

“Are you kidding, you’re exactly like him, except for the trenchcoat.” I shrugged and watched as he touched the tie he wore.

“Yes, well I see no need for that particular article of clothing,” he answered.

“What are...what happened, why won’t either of them talk about you?  You’re their family, Cas.” I kept repeating his name, not even sure that I wasn’t dreaming to begin with, and if I was that would make perfect sense as to why no one had come in at the sound of his voice.

“It’s...a long story,” was all he offered, “and not our current issue.”

“It should be since I almost get my head bitten off every time I bring your name up to Dean.”

“That’s quite impossible really, the human mouth…”

“Cas, so not the point!” I stopped him and pulled the covers with me as I sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through my hair.  “Current issue?”

“The vampires that are following you, Ali, they’re very dangerous.” His blue eyes came up to lock on mine, but they weren’t the only thing that captured me.  His lips and the way his mouth moved were so intriguing that I couldn’t help but stare. 

“Yeah, got that, so,” he rolled his eyes, must have been a Dean trait that he picked up but it was still cute as hell. 

“There is more to them than just a nest gone bad.”

“Okay, you confusing enigma of an angel, would you just spit out whatever it is you’re trying to tell me?”

“Your blood, it connects them to you.” I sat back when I heard that and licked my lips, trying to get rid of the sudden feeling of being buried underground.  “Sam and Dean didn’t just find them, I lead them to the nest, sort of, and there was a reason I did, because… Ali, they’ve been following you since you left your house.”

“How? How is that possible?  The nest was established before I even got here.”

“The main one was, yes, but it branched off with a specific purpose in mind,” he stopped and looked me over, “to get to you even if it meant risking their numbers against Sam and Dean.”

“Oh my God,” I sighed and ran a hand over my face, trying to get reality to set it, or at least some resemblance of reality before I looked at him once more. “So what do I do now?”

“You need to find the head vampire, the sire of the nest.”

“Yeah, I kinda got that, but how?”

“Don’t worry, you won’t have to look far.”

“Cas, seriously, I get the riddles and all but at least tell me one thing,” he let out a breath, one that made no sound, which seemed to be just for dramatic effect.  “Where will you be?”

“I won’t abandon you, I haven’t abandoned them, I’ll be there if you need me.” I turned to hear the key in the lock and when I turned back to the angel, he was gone.

“Cas?” I whispered quietly and looked around the room and now I knew first hand why Dean always had an issue with him popping out. “Son of a bitch!”

Sam stepped through the door and looked at me oddly as I sat there. He glanced at the gun that was on the nightstand and immediately put the coffee down.  I watched without a word as he checked everything, his own gun drawn and hanging loosely at his side. When finally finished his sweep of the room, he sat on the bed across from me in the same spot that Castiel had been sitting and looked over the confusion on my face.

“Why’s the gun out?” He whispered as he placed a hand gently on my thigh.

“Cas,” I replied and watched as he brought a hand up to his mouth, rubbing it across the stubble on his face, “he was here.”

“Ali, Cas can’t be here, he’s been in the wind for months,” Sam sighed, and even though I could hear the frustration in his voice, he tried to keep his words soft and comforting.

“Okay, sure,” I nodded, agreeing with what he said for just a moment before leaning towards him. “Then please explain the man with the bright blue eyes and black hair that was just sitting on the bed you’re on?”

“What?” Sam sat back, his eyes clouding with anger. “He was here?”

“No, I’m making this crap up!” I snapped and rubbed my eyes. “Yes, he was here.”

“Why?” I let out a breath, one of aggravation and took a deep breath.

“The vampires.” Sam stood up suddenly and disappeared through the open door. Yeah this was going to go over well.

I heard Dean growl a “what” at his brother but it seemed like only seconds after that Sam was walking back in the room with a half-naked brother following close behind.  Shirtless, and apparently unable to zip and button the blue jeans he wore, Dean stared down at me as I crossed my legs under the sheet and got ready for an earful.

“Cas was here?” Dean’s gruff morning voice questioned and I looked up at him. I swear sometimes my life was on repeat.

“I woke up, thought you were sitting here being a creeper and turned to find this angel sitting on the bed, yes CAS WAS HERE!” I snapped and rolled my eyes. 

“How do you know it was him?” This got me to give him just a look, just one of those “are you freaking kidding me” looks and he rolled his eyes. “Okay, so...what did he want?”

“He told me that the nest has been following me since Massachusetts, that more than Sam, they want me or more to the point, the sire wants me.  He didn’t tell me why, he said that my blood connects me to them.” I answered the best I could because it all happened so fast.

“Cryptic Son of a Bitch!” Dean growled and put his hands on those hips, and I couldn’t help the way my eyes followed his fingers down as they met his hipbones, which disappeared below the low riding jeans and the obvious fact that he wasn’t wearing anything else under them. I heard him clear his throat and I quickly looked away.  “So, Cas came to warn you, that’s great, now if he would just answer his phone.”

“He said he wouldn’t abandon us,” I whispered and looked at each one of them for a moment before Dean looked around and settled on me.

“Yeah, well, we’ve all heard that line before.” Dean grouched, walked over to the table and grabbed the coffee with his name written on it and gave me one last glance before he disappeared back into the other room.

Sam hadn’t said a word, just sat looking at his hands and I had nothing else to say.  I flipped the blankets off and stood up to walk by him, but he reached out and took my hand in his. I closed my eyes for just a second before looking down into the blue-green eyes that gazed up at me. He kissed the back of my hand and slowly let me go as I walked away, closing the bathroom door behind me.

~~~~~

The shower used to be my getaway, the place where I would go to escape my kids but now it just seemed to be a way for people to corner me in a space where I had no way out, naked or otherwise. This time it was the slight bit of chill in the air that alerted me to the person in the room, which prompted me to reach out and snatch the towel from the edge of the sink before shutting off the water and opening the curtain wide enough to see Dean, yet again, sitting on the edge of the toilet seat.

“Don’t you have your own girlfriend to stalk?”  I questioned as I grabbed a small hand towel to dry my hair with and I turned to lean on the counter to watch him.

“Yeah,” he said dryly, looking up at me as he leaned forward on his elbows that sat on his knees, “but it’s so much more fun to watch you squirm.”

“Bite me!” I snarked and tossed the wet towel at him before I picked up the brush. I watched him smell the towel, take in the hint of my shampoo and put it aside before he looked up at me again. “So, a: does Sam know you’re in here and b: what do you want this time?”

“Actually, yeah, Sam does, and it was Danni that sent me in,” Dean whispered and ran a hand through the spikes of his hair.  I moved to sit, since I was done standing so far away from him, the strange ache to have him close was becoming overwhelming. I sat on the edge of the tub and put my knee against his thigh.

“So?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, shaking his head. “I’m...I’m not used to this, ya know, feeling for someone this way.”

“Are we talking about Danni, cause yeah, you’re supposed to feel a connection with someone when you’re that close.” He looked over at me, lips parted and then he pulled his bottom one in, worrying on it just a little. “It’s not about Danni?”

“No, it’s about you.”

OF course it was, could anything this morning NOT be about me? In fact, I was kind of hoping that none of it was about me anymore. I was tired of being the center of it all, (but kind of hard to do when you’re the one telling the story).  I sighed and shook my head.

“Okay, I’ll bite, what’s going on?”

“Are you okay?” I gave him a little laugh, as I shook my head and sat back a bit.

“Dean, I haven’t been okay since the jump, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what you’re referring to, so...”

“Yeah, I get it,” he looked down at the tiles in front of him.  “Look, before you, it was me and Sam, or me, Sam and Cas, whichever way that happened to go, but now... Ali, Sam can take care of himself, I know that, and he’s my brother and I will always protect him, he will always be first but you… I can’t stay away from you.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“It kinda is,” he admitted and looked up at me as I closed my eyes for a second.  “I have...something for Danni, it’s been there since the moment her snarky little ass came into the picture and you’re right, I don’t trust easy, but last night...it sealed it.”

“Sealed what, the fact that you’re human and your emotions run deeper than “what can I off today” and “don’t touch my brother”?” He nodded as he sat back, and the smile faded from my face.  “I’m sorry, I guess we’re both not used to somethings, like a serious conversation with each other. You have feelings for Danni, that’s great, it’s awesome, I mean...but I still don’t get what it has to do with me.”

“I need you,” he sighed, and he let it out like a breath, like I was that breath and I shook my head, letting my tongue run along my lips.  “I need to know your safe, I think about you every second that we’re not together and it’s not that I want you,” my eyes set on his quickly when he said that because want and need were awful close to the same thing. “you’re beautiful, Ali, but I want Danni and to need you, it’s just so…”

“Utterly confusing and terrifying?”  I added and watched as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I’m getting that vibe, but not just from you, Dean.  I need you too, I mean I need you close, to feel you, to touch you. Hell, I can tell when you’ve been in a room just by the way it smells.”

“You saying I smell bad?”

“No, dammit, stop talking and listen,” I growled and watched him sit up, brows raised.  “The point of this whole thing is this, you and I are connected, I don’t know how or why but we will always need each other, in some way.  Wanting someone else, not a crime, Dean...in fact, please act on it.”

He sat quiet for a minute and thought about what I had said before the sly grin started to climb up his cheeks and his hand rubbed his knee for a minute before he turned his eyes to mine.

“So, ah, you and Sammy… when should I save the date?”

“You’re a dick... get out!”  I snapped and he winked at me as the smile rose on my face.  I stood and followed him to the door when he flung it open, reached over and cupped my cheek, running his thumb along my lips before he kissed me on the forehead. 

With a sigh, I closed the door behind me and started to get dressed but it was just as I was about to pull my shirt over my head that the door opened again and I straightened before I turned around.

“Seriously, Dean, this “need” thing is getting a little out of hand,” I turned and looked at the chest that was in front of me and then my eyes moved up to stare into Sam’s. “Well, this is a vast improvement over who I thought had just come in.”

“Dean had a “need” thing?”  Sam smiled.

“Dean has a lot of “need” things, Sam, you should know that.”  I grinned and continued to pull my shirt down.  He smiled as he moved aside and let me go about the task of brushing my teeth and my hair (not at the same time). “He came in here to tell me that he needed me but wanted Danni, as much as that makes any sense.”

“It makes perfect sense,” Sam shrugged and I turned to look at him, the toothbrush hanging from my mouth.  “I want you, I need you, but I need my brother too, there will always be a connection there.”

“I get the connection but I’m not your sister, DEFINITELY not your sister, and not Dean’s either so what’s the connection? Why that need from me?”  I rinsed out my mouth and shrugged.  “Can we talk about Cas?”

“Yeah, actually, that would be a good idea,” Sam sighed.  “Why did he come to you?”

“I think he has been for a while,” I answered, and crossed my arms as I leaned back against the seat.  “Um, the night at the hotel, actually when I stopped at the Waffle House, where we saw each other, i started hearing his voice.”

“You heard him?” 

“Yeah but I didn’t know it WAS him.” I pushed my wet hair back and thought for a moment.  “You know, it’s funny, the only thing he ever said was to not leave, to trust you...and Dean, and to swing, to swing hard and swing fast, and I did. I trusted you and I kept swinging and I never knew why until now.  Cas brought me to you, he brought you to me and he did it to keep me safe.  The only question I have is why am I that important to him, why me and not my kids, who are completely safe by the way.”

“The thing about Cas is, you never know why he does things,” Sam sighed and reached a hand out from me, one that I gladly accepted, and he pulled me in close.  “Whatever his motives were, they don’t really matter anymore, you’re with us and we’re not going to let you go.”

“So what now?”

“Breakfast?”  Sam smiled giving me a small shrug, and  I smiled as I leaned down to kiss him.

“Yeah, food does sound kinda good right now.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast at IHop, Dean and a waitress, wait..a phone call from Vancouver, is there anything else we can come up with?

Chapter 21

I wasn’t sure if it was me being totally paranoid or if it really happened, but I swear every set of eyes in IHop turned towards us as the four of us walked through the door.  I’m pretty sure it was me being paranoid, but when you woke up to an angel staring at you and a Winchester confessing some pretty needy things, paranoid kind of came with the territory.

The only open spot in the place seemed to be at the counter and we sat down, Sam was to my right, Danni to my left and Dean took up the other side of her.  The waitress, a pretty young blond… and totally Dean’s type, went about unnoticed by the older Winchester, which really got me to smile as we were all served coffee and given a moment to look at the menu.

It was then that my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. Sam watched me with curiosity as I read what I could on the caller ID and glanced at Danni. There, on the screen was Carol’s name, actually it was a picture of Castiel, but it was just how it went in our circle.  Mine was Sam’s picture on Danni’s phone and her’s was Dean on mine so it only made sense that Carol was our Cas. 

I slid off the seat, raised a finger and pushed the accept button as I moved to a booth at the end and edged my way in towards the window..

“Carol, is everything alright?” I questioned, looking at the three concerned faces at the counter.

“Hey! Yeah, I just haven’t heard from you yet.” She announced as I held the phone to my ear and looked out the window.

“My phone’s pretty busted up so I haven’t texted, and no Twitter and all that.”  I answered and looked up as Danni swooped in, coffees in hand, and made herself comfortable as Sam and Dean closed the gap between them so they could talk. I looked questioningly at the woman in front of me and watched as Danni smiled and shrugged, handing me the mug.  “Dan’s been handling all the posts and stuff until I can get a new phone. You okay?”

“I wish I was there with you guys,” she hummed and I shook my head, eyeing Danni who was pulling out the earbuds that she kept in her coat pocket.  I plugged them in, gave her one and I took the other as we listened to Carol sigh.

“I put Dan on with me, we’re sharing a headset,” I smiled, trying to be upbeat.  “But honestly, Cas, I don’t think you want to be here right now, things aren’t going the best of ways.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Just a string of random dumb luck,” I answered and looked up at the boys.  I could hear her sigh over the phone.

“I thought I would get more opportunities to talk to you guys since you were together this week.” I heard the smile in her voice as she became hopeful. “What time is it there anyway?”

“Nearly eight, I think.” Danni answered, “so, that’s what? about six where you are in BC?”

“Yeah, I thought I would check in.”

“Thanks for doing that and I’m sorry we haven’t talked more.” I answered, my eyes drifting to the way Sam and Dean were sitting, heads together, with their backs to us, but I knew they were seeing everything. “Maybe tonight we’ll have a little more time, right now we’re sitting down to breakfast.”

“Oh, okay, go on then and eat, can’t be starving when you have so much stuff to do.”  Carol laughed.  “What’s on the agenda for today?”

“Driving,” I spoke up and watched the confusion cross Danni’s face.  “Yeah, we’re going to be headed to Lebanon I think, it’s a three hour drive from here in Lawrence.”

“Wow, cool, just remember the bunker is actually located up here in Vancouver.”  I wanted to correct her but I didn’t, because what we knew right then was probably not going to go over well at all.

“We’re just going to look through the town.” Danni announced.  “Waitress is coming, got to go.”

“Love ya!”  Carol chimed.

“Love ya,” I answered and Danni mimic as we disconnected the call, looking up in time to see the actual waitress arrive.

“You really want to go to Lebanon?”  She questioned after our order was taken and I shook my head as I sat back in the booth and put my phone away.

“What I’d like to do is hunt down the damn vampire that’s gunning for my head and take his off.”  I sighed and found myself watching the boys.

“So, Sam said you mentioned something about the rings they used last night.”  I lifted my eyes and turn them towards her.

“Yeah, I, ah, I recognized the symbol.” Oh who the hell was I kidding, I might not have wanted to own up to it with Sam but this was Danni we were talking about. “He pegged me for a witch.”

“Are you?”

“My grandmother was, I mean I can sense some stuff, know enough, and yeah, I know all about Sam’s magic warding spells and the hex bags but that doesn’t make me a wizard, Harry!” I sat back and took a deep breath.  “I just don’t know what Dean would do if he found out.  I mean, think about it, they have bullets that kill witches.”

“Their hands are lethal weapons, and you’re worried about bullets?” Danni smiled which made me think for a moment before I nodded.  She had a point.  I rolled my eyes and turned my eyes towards the window. “So, Dean came in to talk to you?”

“Yeah, about that, do you think you and Sam could not send him in while I’m naked?”  I questioned and watched her smile, while I gave her a grin. “He was telling me how he needed me but wanted you, so I told him just to go with it.”  Danni smiled and turned in the seat to look at the two men, who were now debating something with each other, and whatever it was seemed pretty heated.  “Do you think we should go over?”

“You’re kidding, right?”  She said in a smart ass tone, “they have witch killing bullets.”

I shook my head and watched as the young blonde put their plates down in front of both Sam and Dean and offered to refill their coffee, which instantly stopped the debate as they dug in, and it wasn’t long after that we got our own meals.

Dean turned in his seat, as I looked up from mine and he raised his cup of coffee and winked, but all I could do was roll my eyes and slouch down in the seat as if I had fainted. This little action only got me a frown as he shook his head, rolled his own eyes and went back to his breakfast, but Sam smiled, grinning like a fool in my direction.

“Have you heard from Wayne?”  I questioned, as I cut into the scrambled eggs that graced the plate before me.  Danni looked up, cleared her throat as she finished what was in her mouth and shook her head.  I happened to glance up to see it and lowered my fork.  “Not at all?”

“Not since he said he was leaving Sunday morning.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little odd?”  I whispered and watched as she shook her head, but shrugged at the same time. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means I don’t know if it _was_ odd, or if it _is_ odd, we’ve never had this kind of problem before. I mean he was fine one day and the next he was being a complete douche!”  Danni said sternly as she leaned forward so that we could keep it between us. “How many times over the however many months that we’ve been talking has Wayne ever been a douche?”

“Um, none?”  I shrugged and stuffed a forkful of the egg in my mouth, trying to just let her vent.

“My point exactly, so when he started acting like this, wanting to know everything right down to the most minor detail, it started to bother me and we started fighting.”  I picked up the mug, finished what was in my mouth and took a swallow of the coffee before I made eye contact with her.

“Total random question, but when did this start?” Danni took a moment and suddenly sat back, her fork clanking on the table.

“Thursday night, right before you called to tell me what time you were leaving Friday morning, but like I said, the real stuff didn’t start happening until Friday morning.”

“I know I asked about the whole “have you noticed” list but really, now we’re going back to Thursday, anything odd that night?”

“Ah,” she thought for a moment and shrugged yet again before picking up the fork and stabbing it into the slice of meat that sat on her plate. “There was this one few minute span of time that the clouds rolled in, but I thought it was just another storm. They come in and out so fast sometimes, but now that I think back, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t natural.”

“Why?”

She looked up at me, confusion and worry on her face.  “It was only over the house, it came in from the southeast, the completely wrong direction, passed overhead and started breaking up just before it got to the barn.”

“Describe it to me,” Dean’s voice interrupted as we both turned and looked at the man standing at the end of our table. Sam was right behind him and Danni and I found ourselves moving further into the booth as both men joined us.  Dean put his arm up on the back of her seat as he turned his body in her direction.  “Danni, be honest, tell me exactly what it looked like.”

“It was late, _Dean_ ,” she said sarcastically and I could see the frustration on the man’s face but she did have a point, what exactly was she going to tell him?  “It was dark, obviously, so the clouds were dark.  I mean block out the moon and stars dark.  A typical storm that popped up on a typical Thursday night in April… in Oklahoma!”

“Was there lightning?”  Sam questioned, his tone just a little lower and definitely more serious than I had heard in a few days. 

“Wait, what are you guys thinking?”  I inquired, “we already went through all the demonic signs, and the “have you noticed anything” list, so what are you getting at?”

“The lightning,” Sam asked again, “was there any?”

“Yeah, it was a storm,” I could feel Danni’s frustration and reached out a hand to her, with a sigh, she took it and I felt her fingers close around mind.  She was shaking, literally shaking at remembering this storm.  “Okay, yeah there was lightning and thunder and it was all really dramatic but nothing…”

That pause, that dramatic effect, yeah that right there was an “oh shit” moment.  I sat back, watching as if I were outside myself, outside everything because in that moment, I watched her become terrified. I had been there, the moment the vampire first opened its mouth, the moment I stood and swung, I knew that feeling but to see it on her face, in her eyes, that shook me to the core.

“What?” Dean whispered, leaning in closer, his body touching as much of her arm as he could, as his hand came up and caressed her cheek. Danni was dumbstruck, unable to do anything but stare right at me before she took a breath and composed herself.  “Danni, talk to me.”

“The lightning was red,” she whispered and her blue eyes connected with Dean’s green ones.  I watched her brow furrow and her lips grow tight as she shook her head.  “It was red, Dean, red freaking lightning! What the hell does that mean?”

“It means we need to know more about what’s been going on with your husband,” Sam sighed and took my hand under the table, giving me a reassuring squeeze as Danni shook her head.

“Where? How? We gave up our hotel room already.” Danni questioned. Logical question for an illogical time but hey, you never know how the mind is going to work until you come up against this kind of situation. 

“The library,” Sam suggested, and it was a good suggestion, I mean it didn’t suck, but I didn’t want to be stuck inside all day.

“No, I’ve got a better idea,” I whispered and watched as the three of them looked at me with curiosity.

~~~~~

The Airport Motel, the same spot that we had filmed at the day before, stood abandoned and open.  When I watched the minivan drive away, the owner of the building safely in the driver’s seat, I turned and stepped towards the Escape and the three waiting passengers. Of course, by then they were all standing outside the silver SUV with crossed arms and looks of complete and utter “end of the world, apocalypse crap” expressions written on their faces, but I knew it was because of my secrecy.

“Here?”  Dean questioned, stepping forward first as I watched the smile of “here we go” creep up on Sam’s face.  “Of all the places in Kansas, you pick here?”

“Well, I was going to pick a place like, I don’t know, a completely warded, secretly located, stuffed to the ceiling, filled with useless information bunker, but you lied to me about it’s where...abouts.”  I stated, rolling my eyes and Dean huffed.  “IF it was in Lawrence, like you said, we could have gone there, but NO!”

“Okay!” He snapped but that was when I let the smile out, of course I knew he hadn’t honestly expect me to believe the Men of Letters bunker was there and not in Lebanon, at least I don’t think he did. “Okay, I get it, but, why here?”

“Easy enough,” I winked and flipped the small set of keys around my finger.  “The owner thinks we’re on a book tour, like for research and I told her we’d like a few hours to take some inside shots of the place for reference, if she didn’t mind.”

“And she just handed you the keys? Just like that?”  Again with the doubting Dean?  Did this man just not see the way I worked or what?

“Actually, she said there’s nothing of value in there anyway, so honestly giving me the keys and the fact that she has our plate number is pretty much a safe bet that we’re not going to do anything stupid.”  I shrugged and watched Sam push away from the car, his hands in the pocket of his jeans.  He went to step past me, to head towards the open door of the very first room, but he stopped and kissed me on the top of the head, lips full with a smile as I stood still looking up at Dean.  “Now, are you gonna keep being a baby, or are you going to come in and play like a nice boy.”

Dean shook his head, went to walk by, just like Sam did, but instead of kissing me, he leaned in low to my ear.

“Screw you, Porter!”  He whispered, playfully, which only got a wider smile from me as Danni’s lips turned up in a quiet one of her own.

“You first, Winchester!”  I replied and turned my gaze up to him.  Dean’s green eyes locked onto mine, I watched his jaw clench and his lips draw tight before he “hmmphed” and moved on, letting me stand there waiting for Danni, who finally came to stand before me. “You ready for this?”

“I’ve never been less ready for anything my entire life,” she growled and I could see the anxiety and anger rushing up to her eyes as they met mine. “Nothing good ever comes from this, we know it, we’ve seen it for thirteen years.  It’s always the same, always the sit down and explanation before BANG! We’re on a monster hunt!”

“Hey, Dan, it doesn’t have to mean that there’s a monster involved.”  I whispered and touched her shoulder as she stared up at the doorway, the one occupied by a man she had just spent the night with and I could see the growing affection in her eyes.  “Come on, this is Sam and Dean we’re talking about, nothing’s going to happen to you, me or Wayne.”

“Don’t say “I promise”, because if you do, I swear…”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll strangle me in my sleep...got it, Sis.” I smiled and slipped my hand around her arm as the two of us headed for the motel room.

The inside of the room was dark and musty smelling, renovations on the walls had begun, stopped and started several times from the look of the wood that was exposed. The wallpaper itself seemed to be some God-awful burnt sienna color, or had been at one point but you could almost catch the old scent of cigarettes in the very fibers of the fiberglass insulation.  There was a small table, one that Sam had cleared off of the debris from the workers, and three chairs, all different designs, were placed around it, which meant one of us (probably Dean because the man hadn’t stopped moving) was going to have to stand.

Danni got comfortable in the seat closest to the wall, a safety zone kind of maneuver, nothing could get to her back and nothing could get around her line of vision without her being able to react.  Sam guarded the door, his back to the wall, but with his right side situated in such a way that should it open unannounced, his gun and his blade were in reach and the one entering wouldn’t stand a chance.  I moved my chair, put my back to the small half-wall where the crazy 1950 divider with the weird looking starbursts sat, and looked at the three other people in the room.

“Okay, so here we are. It’s private, protected and I’m not entirely sure this is the greatest location, but it was the best idea I could come up with,” I gave each one of them a glance before I landed squarely on Dean, the one who didn’t care for my suggestion, but all he did was glare back at me.  “So, what were we talking about?” No one replied and I couldn’t help but pull my knife from where it hung on the inside of my boot.  “All right, I’ll recap.  Thursday, storm, southeast, red lightning, creepy change in hubby, who...despite all evidence to the contrary, is not a douche, and hasn’t been heard from since breakfast two days ago?”

“I didn’t say he was a douche, I said he was being one!”  Danni snapped and this made me smile, because at least it meant I was getting a reaction.  “But yeah, recap covered!”

“Red lightning?”  Sam whispered, well more asked himself than anyone else in the room, and this had me turning my attention to him.  “There’s no demonic signs that even point to red lightning.”

“So, what are you looking for, creepy omens like change in weather patterns, cattle mutilations, possibly the appearance of animals that should or shouldn’t be in Oklahoma, or wait, the absence of said animals because of possible electrical storms which falls under creepy omens like change in weather patterns?”  I asked sarcastically, and it wasn’t that I was trying to be an ass, but everything that I noticed just seemed to flow from my mouth.

Sam looked at me with worry, and I realized the way I had just answered his question.  So the whole thing unnerved me, not a big deal, at least I didn’t think, and watched as Sam let out a breath, not sure of what to do with me either.

“Ali,” Danni whispered and I shut my mouth, locked my lips down and leaned back against the wall. “Chill out.”

“Yeah, okay.” I whispered and started to look around the room.  I could hear Sam’s voice, but I tried not to concentrate on anything as I let my memories take me back to Thursday night.

_“Okay,” I said as I moved about the bedroom, making sure that everything was packed and that everything that wasn’t was somewhere close so I could grab it.  My laptop was in my bag, my tablet where I could reach it and I picked up the cell phone as I headed into my eldest son’s bedroom to grab the spectrum that he kept locked up in the closet.  I raised the phone to my mouth and sighed. “Looks like I have everything. What about you? You ready for me?”_

_“Ready?” Danni’s voice sang over the speaker, “right like the world is ever going to be ready Ali Porter on the road in a car for 22 hours.  I’m pretty sure that they already put up the “stay off the highway” signs along I-70.”_

_“Imagine that,” I laughed, “I’m pretty sure that you’re a JERK!”_

_“Bitch!”  Danni replied with laughter in her voice.  “So, talking rules and regulations.”_

_“And we’re suddenly at a con?”  I questioned, grabbing the black bag as I headed out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen where the rest of the stuff sat waiting to go out to the car.  “Rules, call every hour if not sooner.  Call at every rest stop, if not already on the phone and no Periscoping or Facebook Live unless the car is at a complete stop.  Yeah, MOM, I got the rules.”_

_“Okay, the other rules.”  Danni whispered as I sat down at the kitchen table, one that was void of my usual laptop._

_“Travel route has already been emailed to you and I gave you the address of the place I’m staying Friday night, Dan, not many other rules except to make sure that I eat.”  I glanced around the room one more time and smiled.  The kids had their bags already packed and waiting. “I’m grabbing the rental by nine, headed towards Kathy’s and back on the road by ten-thirty at the latest.  I’ll shoot you a text before I leave the gas station in Westfield.”_

_I heard it then, a strange sort of static on the line, one that I had heard before but thought was my connection, however, this time it was just a bit different.  This time, it was like a growl, a low vibrating growl that seemed to grow in strength._

_“You’ll never guess what’s going on,” Danni whispered._

_“Electrical storm?”_

_“Yeah, how did you know?”_

_“Phone sucks, remember?”  I smiled and heard the “growl” die down before I sighed. “Okay, I’m off to bed, gotta get this stuff pack in the car pretty early and make sure I have everything set and ready to go.”_

_“Sounds like a plan,” Danni sighed. “Talk to you later.”_

_“Yeah, see you soon, Dean.”_

_“See ya soon, Sammy.”  I smiled at the nickname as the line went dead, took a deep breath and headed back to the bedroom, turning off the kitchen light as I left the room._

It was later that night, after being asleep for a few hours, that I woke up with a start, sitting right up in bed.  It wasn’t that there were any odd noises, or that there was some kind of disturbance in the house, but right there, on the edge of sleep, was the feeling that I was being watched.

I glanced around the room, nothing seemed out of place. All three of my cats were sleeping, lounging about the bed undisturbed by my sudden movement, which was a good sign and I picked up the cell phone from the side of the bed. 3:42, less than two hours before the alarm went off, which was the same time every morning, but this morning, the world outside was just a bit darker, just a bit more on the scarier side, especially as I looked up, while I lay back on the bed, toward the top of the window, covered only by a bottom half-panel curtain.

Something out there wasn’t right, something just this side of supernatural.  It had been a feeling I had been getting for days, but right then, it was the strongest. Taking a deep breath, trying to ignore the ever-growing pit in my stomach, I closed my eyes and relaxed, but my body stayed aware, vibrating on the edge of ready to fight and the deep sleep it really wanted.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, could life get anymore complicated?

Chapter 22

“Ali?”  Dean’s deep tone close to my face more towards my ear, the warmth of his breath on my skin made my eyes snap in his direction and I watched as he glanced at Sam with worry.

“What?”  I mumbled, maybe snapped, but definitely mumbled.

“You okay?” Those brows of his creased with worry and I nodded.

“Yeah,” I rubbed my eyes, feeling the itch of sleep in them and blinked it away. “Wait, was I sleeping?” 

“A little,” he whispered, the back of his fingers caressing the skin on my cheek and I licked my lips, something that immediately captured his eyes attention, but for only a second before his green ones were staring me down again.  “Wanna catch some zz’s in the Escape?”

“You coming with?”  I joked and saw the smile curl on his lips.

“Wouldn’t you rather Sammy?”

“Two strong arms and warm body,” I replied and pushed myself up in the seat, but I winked at Sam, who was sitting with his legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles and his fingers folded together behind his head, looking as comfortable as ever.  “I don’t know Dean, I thought you guys were trying to get to the bottom of Wayne.”

“Well, Danni’s out on the phone right now, and you...you’re making me worry.” His deep voice was calm and soothing, something that helped my heart start to slow from it’s racing pace.  “I’m sure she won’t mind if we churl up for a bit.” His fingers traced along my forehead and it took all I had not to close my eyes and fall into it. “What do you say?”

“Ali,” Sam whispered, my eyes darting in his direction, “go with Dean. Danni and I will grab the laptops and check out things from Thursday.”

“You brought…” oh, wait, it was Sam, he never left home without that laptop, “okay,” I sighed and felt Dean’s hand wrap gently around mine. 

As he pulled me to my feet, I felt the world begin to spin. Yeah, too little sleep in the last few days was definitely not going to be good.  I stopped by Sam, who stood and smiled down at me before Dean and I stepped out the door, ran my fingers down his chest and stopped at his hip, where I stretched upwards to snag one small kiss from the man who towered over me.

Sam sighed against my lips, the pads of his fingers dancing over my neck as his mouth captured mine. It was soft and inviting, all the things you would think it would be to remind me that he was waiting, no matter how much he had just agreed to let Dean take me to the car.  I smiled as those long, thick fingers tangled in my hair deepening the connection and Dean released my hand.

“I’ll be outside when you’re done sucking face,” he growled but there was a hint of laughter in his voice. 

Sam let his other arm circle my waist as I leaned into him, feeling protected, safe in his arms. “Are you sure you’re okay with Dean being with me?”

“I trust my brother more than anyone in this world, Ali, especially when it comes to keeping you safe,” Sam whispered, his lips still a breath from mine and I looked into his blue-green eyes.  “The man’s a genius but he hates research, and I really need Danni here to help me pick out signs.”

“Do me a favor,” I placed my hand on the back of his, the one that gently stroked my neck, “check out Palmer, Massachusetts for early Friday morning too, there was just something about that morning that doesn’t sit right, and I don’t have any tangible signs to go on.”

“I will, but we already know the vampires were following you.”

“I know,” I sighed and kissed him softly once more before he flattened his hand against my back and we moved to where Dean was waiting, watching Danni pace the dirt parking lot.  Dean looked down, took my hand and his eyes were right back on her, but when Sam kissed my head and walked in Danni’s direction, Dean pulled me towards the car.

~~~~~

It was an odd position to be in, tucked up against the backseat of the Escape on my side, curled up in the crook of Dean’s arm while his ankles rested up on the open windowsill, boots hanging out.  He had grabbed anything soft he could from the back of the car, which as luck would have it was a fleece blanket that Danni kept in case of breakdown emergencies, and rolled it up so he was using it as a pillow. 

I rested my head in that very comfortable spot, and placed a hand on his sternum, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as his heart thumped under my hand.  It amazed me how controlled he was, the steady beat beneath my fingers could be used to write a song, even his breathing was musical.  His fingers gently rubbed the back of my neck, the majority of his fingers pressed against it as his thumb ran along my jaw.  He was trying to caress me to sleep, and damn if it wasn’t working.

“Dean,” I whispered, feeling his thumb brush my lips as he turned his head, pressing his mouth against my head.

“Hmm?”  He asked softly.

“Why are you in here with me?”

“I’m exhausted, I hate standing around while Sam does research,” he said defensively but I felt his lips turn up into a smile, “and you really need to sleep, so shut it and close your eyes.”

“You can be pretty pushy, you know that right?”  I grumbled and let my eyes close as he tugged me closer and I was able to bend my knees up under his legs, almost folding around him.

“Yeah, I’m a pain in the ass, now go to sleep.”

With a sigh, I gave in and let the warmth of Dean Winchester surround me. Sleeping next to Sam was amazing, and safe, and could be downright dangerous given the mood, but Dean and his need to touch, to feel connected, made it seem like the rest of the world didn’t exist.

I took him all in, the smell of his cologne, the scent of it mixing with the bodywash that he had used, something masculine and not too strong, even the detergent he used on the soft flannel shirt I was pressed against was undeniably Dean, but that was when I noticed the little difference from when we had met until that very moment.

The hint of his American Spirits was gone.

It took me a moment, and some pretty deep dazed thinking to remember that he hadn’t had one that I knew of since we had returned from the bar. Wait, Dean..stressed out, overprotective, high on “what can I kill next” hadn’t had a cigarette in more than eighteen hours? I smiled, or at least, I dreamed that I smiled at the thought of him being preoccupied with two of us now and not having the time, but the smile was lost as I faded into the darkness.  Sleep, finally!

~~~~~

The muffled sound of Sam’s voice gave me a shiver, drawing me out of the sound sleep that I had been in.  Dean still hadn’t moved, in fact the hand that was on my neck as still there, a little heavier as he lay completely relaxed, but it was Danni’s annoyance that had me concentrating on the conversation going on between them.

They couldn’t have been too far from the car, because the words suddenly were clear as day and I could tell something was frustrating them both. I heard Sam’s boots stop, his pacing told me that he was definitely on edge.

“You can’t keep this from her, Sam,” Danni whispered, though the sound traveled without issue in the wide open space of the parking lot, “this information, she needs to know it.”

“I don’t need to tell her this, Danni, she doesn’t need to know,” he sighed, but didn’t he know that he was telling me everything now? Didn’t he realize that I might be awake in here?  “Look, I’ve seen a lot of bad, Dan, I’ve done a lot of bad and that changes a person.  She needs to be protected from that.  Why the hell do you think I have her in there with my brother right now?  Do you, for an instant, think that I don’t want her by my side, especially in light of this? Of course I do, but I know that no matter what happens, she safer with Dean than anyone else on this planet.”

Okay, so what the hell was I not supposed to find out now?  The thing I hated most in the world was secrets, though I had kept a few myself.

“In light of this?”  Danni scoffed.  “Do you even get that she’s been dealing with this her whole life? Did you not hear that vampire story?  I’m pretty positive she told you about her Grandmother, and back at that bar? All manner of supernatural creatures and she hasn’t even blinked.”  I heard her boots move lightly in the gravel.  “You’re not protecting an innocent person, Sam, she’s a hunter in her own right, just like you and me, a bit on the amateur side, but come on, so am I.  You have to tell her!”

“What am I supposed to say, oh by the way, beside some wacked-off vamp, we’re pretty sure Crowley is after you too?”  This made me open my eyes wide, and I shifted unintentionally against Dean, which seemed to trigger his body.  I heard him breath deeply, turn his head in my direction and press his lips against my head again.  The same position he had fallen asleep in, he was now waking up too.  “Danni, she has enough on her plate with the monster that’s hunting her now, what is she going to do with the King of Hell on her ass?”

“You shouldn’t eavesdrop,” Dean mumbled, his voice deep with sleep, and those fingers moved from my neck down to my waist as he turned his body just a bit, trying not to let them in on the fact that either of us were awake.

“Demons, Dean, and not only a demon but THE demon… Crowley, really, what the hell did I do?”

“You obviously pissed in someone’s cheerios.”

He was right, I pissed someone off, royally, I just wish I knew when, and maybe a how...possibly a why because I was so confused at that moment, I couldn’t think straight.  I moved my hand from his chest, wanting nothing more than to get out of his hold but his arm tightened around me.

“I told you I was a monster,” I whispered, still pushing against him.  “I told you I had done some evil things in my past, and now they’re coming back to find me.”  I looked up at him, angry and pleading. “Dean, let me go.”

He flipped me then, moving me faster than I could blink so that my back was flat to the seat and he towered over me, up on his elbows as his knees straddled my lap.  It took me a moment to catch my breath as I stared up into those hardening eyes as his hand stroked the hair back from my fact.

“No matter what you think you did in the past, Ali, no matter what kind of monster you thought you were,” he growled, but it wasn’t out of anger, but protection and promise, “I’m never going to let you go. Ever.”

“Hey,” Sam’s voice interrupted and I watched as Dean picked his head up, turning just a bit to look at the man who stood by the window at the end of my feet.  Dean pushed up, not bearing any weight down on me as he tried to sit up in the car, but found himself hunched at the shoulders.  “You two okay?”

“Peachy,” Dean answered, and shuffled back as Sam opened the car door.  When Dean finally stood face to face with his brother, when I was able to make out the emotions in each of their eyes as they stared, I realized that Dean was pissed and Sam, well, he seemed to know exactly why.  “You wanna keep a secret from someone, keep your damn voice down.”

Sam watched Dean move around him, before his turned back to me and I stretched my legs out on the seat. With a sigh, my eyes went from the blue-green ones looking at me apologetically to the ceiling. I felt his hands on my ankles which made me sit up quickly and stare for just a moment before I scooted down to the end of the seat, letting my legs dangle out the open door.

“Crowley?”  I whispered, but made sure I kept that disbelieving undertone there.  “Really?”

“Ali,” Sam sighed as I pushed past him, but his fingers wrapped gently around my arm.  I stopped, looked at the sun that sat high in the sky and figured that Dean and I had been passed out for about three hours. 

“Jesus, Sam, how many more hellspawns are going to be gunning for me?” I took a deep breath and looked at Danni, who was leaning against the doorway to the room they had been researching in.  “What did you find?”

“All of the signs around Palmer point to demonic activity,” Sam started reluctantly, and I watched as he licked his lips, the line of his mouth growing tight as his jaw clenched.  “The morning you were talking about, that Thursday, when you were on the phone with Danni, there was a strange outcrop of storms in your area.”

“Strange how?” I leaned back against the car and crossed my arms.

“Black clouds, red lightning… sound familiar?”

“There was nothing, not anywhere around me,” I sighed and turned my gaze back at Danni, who was now staring us down. “I never heard a storm, never saw anything out of the ordinary.”

“Nothing?” Sam questioned, which made me pause and look up at him with a “duh” look on my face. “Ali, just think back, there had to be some reason you asked me to look it up, storms don’t just pop up in two different places at the same time without reason, at least not demonic storms.”

I turned my eyes back to Danni, locking our blue on blue ones together and I thought back to the conversation.  _Rules and regulations, cons, text message from Westfield before getting on the highway._ I listened to the voices pitch back and forth for a moment as our eyes stayed focused on each other and I felt my body shift nervously as the sound of a faint growl filled my ears.

I swallowed hard, my lips parted as I continued to hear it grow in strength and I worried on my bottom lip as Danni stepped off the porch moving towards us. _You’ll never guess what’s going on.  Electrical storm. Yeah, how did you know? Phone sucks, remember?_ I suddenly couldn’t breathe as everything hit me at once and I felt hands against my face, not the large, solid ones that belonged to Sam, but smaller, gentler ones that cupped my cheeks as shades of blue invaded my visions.

“Holy shit!”  I snapped as I struggled to catch what air I could in my lungs and my hands slapped down on Danni’s as she stood looking into my eyes.  “There was a growl on the line!”

“What?”  Sam questioned, moving up to brace my back with his hand.  Danni wouldn’t let go, I wouldn’t allow it and suddenly I could feel Dean just as close as his brother, a hand going to the back of my neck as Danni seemed to hold on for dear life.  “A growl, are you sure?”

“My phone, my stupid sucky phone!”  I whispered and suddenly needed to NOT be touched. 

I shook out of Danni’s grasp, pushing her fingers away from my face and slipped past her, away from the protective stances of both brothers.  I put my hand on the hood of the car and leaned over just a little, resting my head against the sun-heated metal as I closed my eyes, allowing the nauseous feeling to subside. I felt fingers along my spine and suddenly I was standing up straight and I turned to look at Dean, my hands up as if to create a barrier and I shook my head.

“Don’t, please don’t,” I begged and stepped back. I know my lips moved after that, trying to form some sort of words as Sam and Danni stepped closer.  I kept the wide open field behind me and the motel to my front as Dean stood to my side, and the other two seemed to crowd the driver’s side of the Escape. “During it...during the call...Danni said a storm popped up but she didn’t really need to tell me, I already knew, I could hear it on my phone.  I thought it was static, something that just seemed to happen, but it’s been going on for a long time, _every time_! We Skype and it’s there, we talk on the phone and it’s there.”

“What is?”  Sam whispered, “Ali, you got to talk to me so we can figure this out.”

“It’s like someone stuck a dog on the phone line.” I answered, though I’m pretty sure that didn’t make any sense at all. “We thought it was the service, just the crappy way the towers were set up but there has always been something under the static, something like a voice, or a noise…”

“Or a growl,” Danni added and licked her lips.  “Listen, that night, it wasn’t just the storm I saw, there was something in the trees.  What the hell is four-feet tall, invisible and growls?”

“Hellhounds,” Dean sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose before looking at Sam.  “What did you find? Tell me you got something other than demonic omens that makes you think Crowley the Assclown is involved in all of this.”

“The red lightning was the clue.” Sam spoke up but Dean just crossed his arms, looked at his brother confused and shrugged.

“Okay?”

Sam sighed, his bitchface becoming completely apparent and he shook his head.  “We know demons rank differently, at least you and I do,” he glanced away from his brother to both Danni and I to make sure we understood.  “Lower levels seem to smoke out black, Knights and Princes have their own little color code, blue for Knights, gold for princes, red for…”

“Crowley,” I added in a whisper, and brought my eyes up to look at him. “So, wonderful, Juliette is wandering around Vinita and I have what? A Hellstorm of Crowley crop dusting my home town?”

“The hound would explain the animals the other night,” Danni shrugged.  “The fact that they had all gone into hiding, that there wasn’t anything to be heard.”

“See!” I snapped and watched Dean look at me as I pointed at him. “I told you something was up, and you both, what, chalked it up to freaking tornados!”

“Ali,” Danni whispered, but couldn’t help the smile that crossed her lips, but then it slowly faded. “Wait, what if that thing followed us.”

“What do you mean?”  Sam questioned, curiously. 

“The road,” she continued, “the other night we were sent off the road because a _wolf_ jumped in front of Baby.”

“What if it wasn’t a wolf?” Dean questioned, “I mean, Ali’s the one who saw it.” It wasn’t that he was wrong, but I looked at him with a sneer just out of principle alone. “I’m not…” he sighed, “I’m not saying what you saw wasn’t real, but come on, a wolf, pretty random animal to be out there.”

“What if it didn’t mean to be?”  Sam spoke up and all eyes turned to him.  “What if it was chased out of the woods. You said there was a body,” he looked straight at me.

“Yeah but apparently it wasn’t an “our kind of case” body.” I rolled my eyes and looked at Dean who just looked away shaking his head.  “It was half eaten, pretty freaking mangled.”

“So what if the wolf was eating it, you know scavenging and the hound was what really shredded the poor bastard?”  Sam added.

“You wouldn’t be able to make out the cause of death if two different animals had taken him down.” Danni shrugged.  “It would be pretty impossible to find prints after the rain we had that night too, I mean the river swelled, that body could have come from anywhere.”

I took a deep breath, running my hands up the side of my head trying to stop the headache that was creeping up on me. “Okay, let’s say the hellhound rushed the wolf on purpose, scared it out to the road, left it to jump in front of the Impala.  Why the hell wouldn’t it come after us while we were all unconscious, or better yet, while one or more of us were wandering the street alone in the middle of the night?”

“Because we weren’t its target,” Dean whispered, and I looked over at him.  He stood with his feet apart, head down as he stared at the ground deep in thought and I could see the concentration on his face.  “The hound was sent to do something, distract us, make us weaker, but not to kill us.  There isn’t a deal out on any of us, the contract isn’t up. This puppy was just playing.”

“Oh wonderful,” I groaned and turned to lean against the grill of the car. 

It was then that the owner pulled up in the mini-van and the four of us went our separate ways.  Danni and Dean went to the room to collect the laptops while I spoke to the woman who had so graciously let us use her property before I watched the other three load up into the car. 

Once everything was in order, and we were all strapped in, Danni put the car in drive and pulled out onto the road, heading south back to the house, back towards the mystery of the hellhound and Crowley, one more monster to add to the ever-growing pile.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not just all in my head anymore, it's out in the open and what the hell am I going to do with this information?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that everyone is so into this story, please pass it on to people who you think might enjoy becoming part of the #DarkHuntersFamily (we have a twitter tag for it! LOL, and come over and join me on twitter @dgray3994) see you there.

Chapter 23

The ride back to Vinita as quiet. Three hours of hushed whispers from the back as the brothers quietly argued over the facts that were found. Three hours of Danni tapping the steering wheel to a beat in her own head over the quiet music that played on the radio. Three hours of being stuck in my own head at the seemingly random events that had let up to one very solid piece of evidence, that nothing about this trip had been random AT ALL!  

By the end of the third hour, I had had it!  I looked at Danni, watched the rest stop crest over the road a quarter of a mile ahead, and I glanced over at her. 

“Pull in here,” I begged and her eyes flickered in my direction, “please, Danni, just do it.”

I watched as she checked in the rearview and then threw on her blinker as she pulled into the small parking lot that accompanied the building that housed two bathrooms, probably a couple vending machines and a whole lot of literature on where to visit while in Kansas, but that wasn’t my reason for stopping.

Danni pulled into the parking spot, but hadn’t even turned off the car when I had the door open and was out on my feet before she could blink.  I heard the three doors open as I stepped onto the grass not five feet in front of the car and paced with my hands on my hips.  

Locked in my head wasn’t doing me any good, and it certainly wasn’t helping with the crazy ass thoughts that just seemed to flow.  I was bringing up memories, digging up the past, trying to figure out the connection between the vampire and Crowley, the boys and Cas, and the fact that the timeline was completely messed up. 

_ What are you doing, Ali?  _  Cas’ voice spoke through me and I visibly shivered as I realized just how close to this he was. He hadn’t talked to me since appearing in the bedroom but he was still so familiar since all I could feel is a light touch, like his wings were a shield, keeping out the darkness.

_ Cas, what the hell man? Crowley? Did you know about Crowley? Is that why you’re protecting me? _ I didn’t want to talk to him in my head, I wanted him to be in front of me, and suddenly, he was.

He stood there, black disheveled hair, cerulean blue eyes that sparkled like the sun on the waves, but still no trenchcoat.  I could almost see the faint outline of the wings, the tattered, beautiful wings that stretched out towards me but that was when I noticed everything else. 

“Where are we?”  I whispered, and listened to the absence of noise around me. 

“Safe,” he answered, his voice deep, stoic and a little annoyed.

“Danni? The boys?”  I looked around at the empty park we stood in the middle of, empty of cars, people, and the small building, empty of everything except one small park bench.

“Also safe,” which seemed to be the extent of his narration at the moment. He took a step closer, those wings folded in around me and I could feel the warmth of him, but were angels really warm, or was it just the way that Castiel felt.

“Crowley, Cas? Seriously?”

His lips drew tight and he sighed, “Crowley was… an unforeseen difficulty.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I was sent to protect you from the vampires, the fact that Crowley even attempted contact with both you and Danni was something that we weren’t prepared for, and for that, I’m sorry.”

“Why would you be sorry?”

“Ali,” his hand reached out and touched my shoulder, just a gently touch but there nonetheless. “You need to prepare yourself for what’s about to happen. It’s not going to be easy on you, or Danni, but you have to promise me one very important thing.” Why did this guy always talk in riddles?  I sighed and waited for him to continue.  “Don’t go anywhere without Sam or Dean, don’t leave their side. It’s imperative that you survive what’s coming next. Promise me, Ali, that you’ll do what I ask.”

“Cas,” I drew in a deep breath and watched as his brows creased in confusion, “where’s John Winchester?”

“I have to go,” he stated rather quickly and raised that one brow at me, “stay with Sam and Dean, keep them close, don’t go into this without them.”

“Cas?” I heard my voice softly, but then the influx of bird’s chirping filled my senses and I looked around quickly, taking in the fact that Sam was holding my arms, concern written across his face, but anger reached his bright eyes.  Dean stood beside him, not close enough for me, and I glanced down at his hands, wanting the familiarity of his touch as well. Danni stood beside the older Winchester, her eyes darting around as if she might be looking for someone.

“Ali,” Sam’s tone brought my eyes straight back to his and his hand rested against my neck, his index finger on my cheek as his thumb traced over every other inch he could reach, “where did you go?”

“Cas, he... ah…” it took me a moment to find my words as my fingers folded around his wrist and I used my right hand to run it down my face, trying to get rid of the foggy feeling.

“What did he say?”  Dean questioned, somewhere between concern and irritation aimed directly at the angel.

“He didn’t know Crowley was coming, none of them did, they were too focused on the vampires.” I finally was able to spit out, as I sighed and leaned into Sam’s hand. “He said to stay close to you, both of you, and that it was imperative that Danni and I survive this. What the hell did he get us into?”

“I don’t think he got you into anything?”  Sam spoke up, “I really think he’s trying to protect you  _ from _ something and not just the vampire, something bigger.”

“So what? Angel radio has no clue either? I mean, come on, a whole Heaven’s worth of angels and not a single clue as to why Danni is now a target for the King of Hell himself?”

“Hey,” Dean reached out, making that contact that I longed for as he stepped closer, “you’re a target too remember.”

“I was a target long before Danni and I became family.” I stepped back suddenly, fear settling into my heart as I looked at my friend, at my sister, the woman who had become one of the things I needed the most, my family, and I shook my head. “I didn’t mean to bring this down on you, Danni, I never meant for you to be caught in the crossfire.”

“There isn’t another place I would rather be,” she answered, a sly smile gracing her lips as she stepped towards me and suddenly wrapped her arms around me as she hugged me closer.  “It’s my job to protect my little sister, and come hell or high water, I’m not going to stop doing that until every threat is gone.”

“I never meant to hurt you,” I whispered, letting my arms come up around her as I closed my eye and let her hold me.  “I never meant for any of this.”

~~~~~

The quiet wore on for the last hour or so that we were in the car, the only noise came from the music on the radio, and I’m not even sure what that was, I wasn’t really pay attention.  

I was staring out the window, lost in the flow of memories that I wasn’t supposed to be delving into, something I’m sure Cas was trying to warn me about but once I had opened the floodgates they came right to the surface, like a body that had been buried and gone resurfacing.

It was then that everything seemed to come into light, a chronological order of events that took me back as far as I could remember and then tossed me in a fast forward motion. The first ones were simple, childhood memories that should have made me happy, until the nightmares began.  Horrible, bloody, terrifying nightmares, ones that caused sleepwalking, night terrors and all manner of waking dreams.  

The ghosts came next, though I was sure that they had something to do with the lack of sleep from the nightmares, but I saw them everywhere, standing by the edges of streets, rivers, train tracks, outside houses, in the upper floor windows of ones that I knew were occupied by other people. This was my life, seeing creatures that haunted my every step.

It wasn’t long after the appearances of the ghosts that we went to visit my grandmother.  I say that as if we never saw her enough but this was the time that other things began to happen.  She would show me little books to read while I was there, anything to keep occupied but the strange symbols, the difficult languages and the crafty little way she stored her herbs and candles made me oh so curious. 

I remembered one night, while we were spending the weekend, that my siblings and I were sent to bed early.  Grandma had friends over, three other woman, one her age, two slightly older, of course I was young, nine at the time I believe, so what did I know about age.  I remember this particular night because it was right around the middle of June, close to my birthday and it was warm outside. So warm in fact that Gram and her friends wore nothing but robes in the back yard.

I snuck down to watch, as they lit the candles, the scent of the herbs in the air, and they began to chant.  I hid behind a large flower pot, so engrossed by the way they moved, the way their voices sung together and louder with each passing moment until the fire between them blazed high and hot.  And RED.

When it died down, I remember seeing another person standing in their midst, a woman, taller than them, but there just the same, and the words that they spoke were quiet, so I could never make out what they said, but in an instant, as if I had breathed just one breath too loud, all five were looking at me.

The new woman, someone who made me shiver at the way the glow of the fire made her eyes seemed to shine with the red flame, stepped forward and tilted her head just a bit, just enough to make me intrigued and unafraid.

I remember crawling out from behind the pot, standing straight and looking at her.  She seemed…  different, powerful, and when she spoke, it nearly took my breath away.

“You’re a brave young thing,” she said softly, bending over, hands on her knees to get eye level with me.  Her accent was hard to miss, but almost equally hard to place and I realized the red in her eyes hadn’t gone away.  “Tell me, child, what’s your name?”

“Alison,” I whispered, but with strength behind it.  I was only soft enough to keep the conversation between us.  

She looked over my face one more time and reached out.  Her fingers brushed against my cheek, the tips of them ice cold despite the fact that she had been so close to the fire and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The corner of her lips turned up in a slight smile and she leaned in a little closer.

“Go back to bed, Alison, nothing here will harm you, nothing bad will come of this night, or any night from here forward.” Her words seemed to make me feel...safe...and I gave her a little smile.  “I’ll see to that, but you...you run along now.”

I looked past her at the terrified face of my grandmother and her friends, and it occurred to me that maybe this safe feeling was  _ wrong _ , but I nodded, turned and made my way quietly up the stairs to the back porch.  I gave her one last look, this woman with the red eyes, and suddenly I was locked there. Locked in a stare that instantly felt evil and my body froze. 

I felt my eyes roll back in my head as words filled my ear, words that didn’t come from the outside but from inside my own mind. Images flashed through me, books filled with spells, symbols and the words weren’t in English but I could read them as if I understood everything they said.

When it was over, when the onslaught of strange memories started to fade, I found that it was morning, and I was in my bed. The sun was up, not a cloud in the sky and I was alone.

That wasn’t the end of the visions, no, they went on for years, but in between the start and stops, the vampire came...and went, the bite mark disappeared and though I wasn’t really sure how at that point, now I knew, now I knew everything.

~~~~~

When I looked up, when my eyes finally focused, Sam was standing beside me, the door to the passenger's side was wide open and he was leaning against the door with one arm, using the roof to support the rest of his weight but he didn’t move closer, he just watched me.

“What did you see?” His voice was a quiet sound, one that flowed over me with such ease that my racing heart slowed, and my breath seemed to even out. I sighed and shook my head.

“You have demon trap bullets, right?”  I questioned as worry set in and the arm that leaned against the door came down and he rubbed the scruff on his face before he shook his head, turned and walked away.  I didn’t have to say it, I knew that he got the gist of what I meant. What I remembered was a demon, what I knew was that somewhere along the line, I had become totally screwed.  

I jumped out of the car, noticed we were parked by the entrance of the garage, and watched as Sam stepped up to his brother, who was looking under the hood at Baby’s engine.  Dean stood straight as Sam whispered something to him and I watched his green eyes quickly move to me.  I didn’t want to be stared at, or sized up, which was what Dean was doing, so I gave a small shake of my head and turned.

Outside, just along the gravel line, maybe twenty feet from the side of the attached carport was a picnic table, and there, watching her house across the field, was Danni.  I took a deep breath and made my way over, quietly taking a seat beside her. She glanced over at me, as I gave her a quick look and a smile as I leaned forward and put my hands on my knees.

“Any word?” I watched as she just shook her head, but I couldn’t tell if she were worried or relieved. 

“Kind of a good thing, don’t you think?” She held a small stick in her hand, one that she had made into a stake with the pocket knife that sat open on the table between us.

“Yeah, the more people that stay away, the safer I guess.”

“You know, while we were driving, I had a chance to think,” she started and turned more towards me, her eyes still on that small piece of wood.  “I was thinking about how connected you and I are.”

“You mean the strange, little, real-life coincidences that seem to tie us to the same area about the same time?”  I smiled but watched her nod.  “Yeah I was thinking about that too.”

“So I have a theory.” This caught caught my attention and I shot a quick glance at the garage. 

Dean stood in the doorway, a lit cigarette in his hand, but he never brought it to his mouth, just let it smoke, flicking the cherry off every now and again.  Sam was standing just a little further out, his hands in his pockets as he watched the horses roam the field.

“Yeah, theories right now, probably not our best friends.”  I answered as I turned to face her but the frown that graced her lips made me pause. “So, let’s hear it.”

“Our fathers, at one point, lived in the same town in the same state, how weird of a coincidence is that?”

“We established how strange this really was way back when, Dan, this isn’t necessarily new news.”

“Okay, so my theory...if our fathers knew each other, what’s to say that our grandmothers didn’t run in the same circle, so to speak?”  I sat back and looked at her, had she been reading my mind as I sat there and did she know that part of my memories?  I licked my lips, every nerve in my body became hyper aware of where everything and everybody was at that very moment.  “Ali, I think my grandmother was a witch.”

I jumped down from the table, a sudden move that had Sam straighten to attention, and I caught Dean’s hand reach for the 1911 behind his back, but I paced in a circle a few times and came to rest facing Danni, blocking her from seeing the house.

“And you think they summoned a demon?”  I whispered, the shock of me  _ adding  _ to her theory was written plainly across her face.  “Well, I know mine did.”

Danni pulled a picture from her pocket and handed it to me. Curiosity got the best of me as I took the old photo, gave her one last confused glance and looked down at the four women who stood in a group, wine glasses filled with a dark liquid in hand, smiling as if they were having the time of their lives. I scanned each face and was immediately brought back to the fire, to the woman and the words she had spoke.

My vision blurred as I felt my body sway, and I reached out blindly for the table.  Danni’s hand guiding me until I was leaning against the solid structure. One more odd connection, besides our fathers, and the fact that even after that we, as children, had been in the same city, at the same time, we’ve travelled the same parts of the US, and now, our grandmothers in the same picture.

“Ali,” she whispered softly.

“They didn’t just summon any hell bitch, they summoned Crowley, a crossroads demon.” I mumbled and closed my eyes tightly. “He...she told me that nothing would harm me, from that night forward.” I turned and looked at her.  “I think our grandmothers made a pact with the devil himself.”

“So basically?”

“Yeah, we’re screwed.” I sighed and watched her put her hands against her face, as I turned and looked at the two men that stood by the building, both looking on with concern in their eyes.  “I don’t get it, why us?”

“Like I said before, why not?”  Danni snickered and I gave her a little laugh, not a real one but I took a breath and looked at her. “Except that time, I meant why not ‘get a Winchester’, not ‘why not be a little witch brat with a demon on your ass’.”

“And a vampire.”

Danni leaned her head back and looked up at the sky, giving a little shake as she closed her eyes and soaked in the last of the sun’s rays. I clenched my jaw so hard it hurt, but my eyes went back to the Winchesters as I continued to lean on the table, the picture in front of me.  

What the hell were we going to do now?


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are just about to get as bad as they can, or maybe not AS BAD just yet.

Chapter 24

Tonight’s plan was a bonfire, which had been our plan all along. Monday for Lawrence and a night out, Tuesday for a bonfire and Wednesday to recuperate before headed back, not a drive I was looking forward to since I wasn’t sure what Dean had done with my car. We had decided to do the bonfire on the same property as the garage, just in case we needed to run for protected cover, and even through the mutilated animal had been removed, we steered away from that area as well.

I watched the way Sam eyed me over as I stacked the wood in the pit.  It was warm enough even in the fading light that both men had removed their shirts, and sweat glistened off Sam’s sun-kissed skin, but it brought attention to the fact that he was wearing a not so white bandage across his side.  He shouldn’t have been lifting the cord wood at all, but try keeping a Winchester down, especially that one. 

I finally stood, having been down under the tower stuffing starter kindling and paper into the hollow of the pyre, and dusted my hands off on my jeans.  Sam placed the last of the wood he had brought over onto the stack and looked down at me.

“I think I need to check you,” I whispered as I brought my hand up and ghosted it along the bottom of the tape, right along the hem of his low-rise jeans, where the v of his hipbones dipped and I felt the muscles tense against the tickle. I watched a cruel smile cross his lips, like he was debating on whether to stop my actions or just enjoy the torture as I moved up along the trail of light hair that reached his navel, but he slapped his hand down against mine gently when I moved just past it.

“Keep going and I’m going to take you down, right here, right now,” he whispered and stepped closer, making sure my hand never left his skin as his free one reached out, cupping the back of my head.  His kiss was bruising and passionate, wanting and possessive and oh how I loved it as my other hand was free to wander the length of his spine and all the muscles of his back, pulling low growls from him as I teased.  He pulled his lips away, just far enough to breath and whisper against mine. “Garage, now!”

“Yes Sir,” I smiled and moved to head in that direction, but the hand that held me to him moved, snaking around my waist and he closed that gap, bringing his mouth crushing down against mine as his tongue invaded.  I was the one that moaned this time, letting him know that everything he was doing was perfect, but as soon as the noise left my throat, his lips tore from him.

I had never seen such a primal look from him before, like want and lust and protection, the need to claim what was his, had just taken over him and he started walking, my hand tucked gently in his.  I looked at Dean’s half-cocked smile as we passed where he was sitting on a piece of wood, beer in hand, and the green-eyed one winked at me. 

What the hell?

I’m not going to bore you with details of the trek to the building, or the way he practically pulled me up the stairs but the moment we crested the top, I was pressed up against the boxes, his mouth on my neck instead of my lips, one hand curled around my throat, holding me there as his lips branded their way over my skin. 

I couldn’t breathe, not that his grip was tight at all, but the feelings that his body, his lips and those fingers gave me made it all seem pointless to do anything but _feel_ what he was doing.  I didn’t need to breath to do that, right? 

Things always seemed to be just the right height, at least for Sam’s advantage.  He fumbled with the button of my jeans, pushing them down with one hand as the other skillfully lifted me to the heavy wooden foot locker that stood tall.  The cool breeze of the loft sent goosebumps over my skin when he had taken care of the hindrance that was my clothing, and I mean all of it. 

I leaned back the best I could as his mouth moved along my collar bone, down lower to capture my nipple between his teeth, the shock of the warmth compared to the exposure I was left with had me take a sharp breath but as his teeth raked over the hard peak.

He smiled as he looked up, and I watched his tongue dart out as those blue-green eyes grew darker with want, his hand sliding down the length of my ribs until he sat at my hip, and then suddenly I felt him at the heat beneath his hands.  I felt my eyes roll back as his fingers slipped in, and curl to find that sweet spot, the one that sent my legs shaking as his lips traveled lower.

My eyes sprung open as that hot mouth closed over what I thought was the most sensitive part of my body but I was wrong, nothing compared to the feeling of his tongue against that overstimulated bundle of nerves as his finger glided in and out of the slick heat right below it.  I didn’t know how much more I could take, baring down on his hand as if I were trying to get him in deeper.

“Sam,” I begged in a pleading whisper and his eyes came up to meet mine, his mouth suddenly so close I could feel the heat, “I need you.”

His lips were hot, branding and tasted bitter sweet as he claimed mine once again, his fingers still ever moving in their effort to prepare me for what was coming next… him. I heard the tear of the foil, felt the rumble of a moan that vibrated through him as he slipped the latex on, never even noticing that he had unbuckled or even pushed the jeans down around his hips, but I certainly could feel him against me.

He paused, held just as still as he could, stole his lips from mine and locked his eyes on me as he slowly pushed against the folds.  It was too slow, I needed too much and I reached down, grasping his hips with my small hands, trying to pull him closer, but he just smiled, placed one against the middle of my back, holding me up and the other, he tangled in my hair.

“Tell me what you want,” his breath was hot against me and I tried to move, to take him in but he held steady, “I can make it last or we can do this rough, but you have to tell me.”

“Now, Sam, I want you now!”  I snapped and brought my hand up to grip a fistful of his hair, tugging him towards me.

I was the one that needed this time, kissed him with such force that I felt our teeth click and he suddenly tugged me to him, burying himself deep and fast.  I stiffened at the intrusion but it was what I wanted, him, all of him and I wasn’t about to let go.

Sam’s breaths were a little more than huffs as he set the pace, a heart-pounding, throbbing pace that had us each trying to remember to breath as the end seemed to come too fast and too forcefully for both of us, but it had been such a long day, such a tiring and emotional day that it was what we needed.

I bit down on his lips, not letting him go as the ripples flashed through me, and my legs wrapped tightly around his waist, allowing him to do little more than a short, fast thrust. My fist gripped his hair harder as my fingers dug into his skin and I could feel his own start to curl against my back. He released my neck, slammed his hand down on the locker, trying to keep from hurting me as I heard his nails scrape against the wood, digging in deep, as he suddenly back away from my mouth, ripping his lips from mine and I watched as he careened over the edge, his eyes wide as his head went back a little and his jaw clenched.

I watched as his lips finally parted, as he remembered he needed to breath and slowly the hand on the wood flexed, slowly coming back up to brace my back with one final thrust deep within, a position he held me in as he brought his forehead down to my shoulder.

I relaxed my hold on his hair, now slick with sweat and closed my eyes as his arms wrapped around me and he drew me to his sweat soaked chest. I could smell him, body wash, deodorant, shampoo but under all that was the scent of _him_ as I leaned my cheek against the muscle, and listened to the wild thump of his heart, the way he tried to steady his breathing. He picked his head up, placed his cheek against my hair and I smiled as I felt him soften and slip out, leaving me feeling empty and detached, like an intimate link had been severed, but I also shivered as our bodies began to cool.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his fingers running up my spine.

“For what, that was amazing.” I grinned and felt him pull back, his embrace eased as he looked down at me. 

“I was too rough, it was too hard,” he was literally kicking himself for something I asked for and I reached up, placing my palm against the redness of his cheek.

“It was perfect, Sam.” I smiled and watched the confusion in his eyes. “Not everyone likes it slow and easy, and I already told you that you’re not going to do any damage.” I watched him lick his lips, the look of uncertainty in his eyes. “Trust me when I tell you, that was… amazing.”

Sam gave me a half smirk, still not believing me but kind of proud of himself and that was what I wanted, I wanted to see that and I wanted it to reach his eyes. He kissed me softly, just a brush of his lips as if to show me he could be just as gentle as he could rough, and I believed him, oh how completely I believed him!

“Not to be a mood killer,” I whispered as he trailed soft caresses down my cheeks once again, “but I have to look at those stitches.”

“I know,” his breath moved across my ear, and I tried to hold in the moan, but the shiver gave him the hint that whatever he was trying to accomplish had worked.  “First, we have to find your clothes.”

Clothes? Screw the clothes, I was comfortable and I wanted him to stay close, so I could enjoy the warmth of his body but he backed away.  My eyes trailed from his darkened eyes down his neck, across his chest and I followed that line, all the way down to where he hung from the tangled patch of hair below his waist. 

Even in his current state, the man was a living statue, perfect in every sense of the word and I watched his hands as he slid the condom from his body, those hands running over himself as he tied it and found a place for it, but I found myself biting my lip as he tucked himself away and zipped those jeans.

Dammit!

Sam laughed low as he helped me slide into my clothes, slowly and I let him dress me, completely sated and really not in the mood to do anything let alone put _clothes_ on.  I watched as he took his time, letting his fingers glide over every part of me he could until I was completely covered, which was when he winked and back away.

With a sigh, I watched as he stuffed his hands in his pocket and looked at me, tilting his head just a little, but his face took on a solemn expression, and I leaned forward, bracing myself with my hands on the wooden locker.

“What is it, Sam?”

“I don’t think I can let you go,” he admitted, and he sucked in his bottom lips.  With most people, you would reach out and take them in your arms, but I could tell by the fact that he had backed up that he didn’t want to be held, just heard.  “Not Thursday morning, not Friday night, not ever.”

“I can’t exactly come jumping across the country with you, Sam, but you don’t have to really let me go.” I knew this conversation was going to come up eventually, it was just a matter of time.

“You have Crowley after you, how am I not supposed to keep you at my side?”

“There are only two real choices,” I whispered as I hopped down and stepped up to him, my fingers on that tape in order to help him see that I wasn’t going to be that sappy girl that had to cry through moments like this, even if I wanted to, but I looked up at him, let him see the uncertainty in my own eyes.  “You stay close enough to me at home in Massachusetts, or you stay with your brother and you do what you do to keep me safe while I’m there.  Crowley will come for me when he wants to, whether you’re there or not, and we don’t even know why he’s got Danni involved.”

Sam took in a breath, his eyes moving from mine to concentrate on the fingers that pulled along the tape.  I backed away, taking the gauze with me, relieved that it hadn’t stuck at all, which meant that it was healing well and we hadn’t ripped anything.

I stepped back for just a second, watching his hands clench as he removed them from his pockets, trying to control the need to draw me closer and when I came back with the wipes that I had snatched from the first aid kit, I felt him draw in a deep breath.

“Why is this so confusing?” His voice was low, as if he weren’t really asking me, just talking out loud and I felt his fingertips brushing along my scalp, while I leaned in to clean the area.  I smiled, gave him a little laugh and glanced up at him for a quick second.

“Who said anything about love being a straightforward thing?”  I retorted, but suddenly thought about what I had said. For a second I stopped, did I really just use the “L” word, but I tried to continue with what I was doing, unfazed by the thing that had slipped out.  Clearing my throat, I stood up straight, glanced at the beautiful way the stitches were healing and finally looked at his eyes.  He had caught that slip and was looking at me as if I had just slapped him.  “Ah, I would let it air out. Just put a shirt on and give it a little while to dry before we put a new one on.”

He was just staring, why the hell was he just staring?

Suddenly uncomfortable in my own skin, I stepped back, swallowed and turned quickly, making my way down the stairs, leaving him there to be just as confused as I was.

Danni looked up at me from the ground where she had started a small fire of just the kindling, Dean was up at the garage, I know because I passed him quickly on the way out.  He had called my name as I rushed by but I didn’t bother to stop, I didn’t even bother to acknowledge him, but I knew that mistake was going to come back and kick me in the ass.

Danni stood straight, looked at me with concern and though she reached out, I backed away, raising my fingers to ward her off.  With a hard swallow, I steadied myself.

“I think,” I whispered and lost the words I was going to say, at least for a second before I finally grounded myself, “I think I’m in love with Sam.”

The smile that started as just a little grin became wide enough that it brought a sparkle to her eyes as she raised a hand and put it across her mouth, trying to hide the hilarity she found in the statement.

“Am I supposed to be shocked?”  She asked, clearing her throat.

“You’re supposed to tell me that I’m insane and that it’s only been a few days.” I snapped and watched as she crossed her arms.

“Do you believe that?”

“Not for a damn second, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be saying it!”  I replied as I began to pace, just a few steps back and forth.

“Why would I say it if I don’t believe it any more than you do?”

“You’re totally not helping right now.”

“Oh,” she shrugged, “I didn’t know I was supposed to be.”

I put my hands on my hips and shook my head.  It was then that Dean, who I had assumed would at some point make an entrance, did exactly that.  He stood there, watching me paced and glanced from me to Danni.

“What’s…” he started and pointed at me, his finger following my movements, “what’s, ah, going on?”

“My sister is in love with your brother,” Danni answered and I stared at her wide eyed.

Dean raised a brow and shrugged, “well, duh!” 

And that was all he said before he turned around and walked back to the garage. I stopped pacing, stopped breathing and for a moment, stopped thinking because that was so not what I had expected.  Danni’s grin never faltered as she went back to the fire in front of her.  I looked from her to the backside of the man walking away several times before I let out a huff and sat down on the ground, crossing my legs as I stared at the fire.

“You were expecting something different?”  Danni laughed.

“I really wasn’t expecting anything,” I answered, watching the flames, “I guess I was just shocked.”

“You were shocked at your feelings for Sam?”

“Yes...No…” I rolled my eyes, “shut up!”

Danni laughed. “What did he say?”

“Nothing, I didn’t give him a chance, I didn’t even really tell him. I just said something stupid like “blah, blah, blah, love” or some crap and then walked away.” I rubbed my hands over my face and sighed. “I need a vampire to kill, something to swing at…”

“Sex?”

My sights landed on her, “how do you think we got on the topic to begin with?”

“Wow,” she poked at the flames, “you really do have it bad if sex leads to love talk.”

“You know what?”  I snapped and she grinned. “You suck!”

“You know, I’ve read that somewhere before.” She winked and I just let out my breath.  This was going to get me nowhere and I should really have been inside talking to Sam. “So, what’s for dinner?”

“Vodka, strong and preferably whipped!” I replied and lay back on the grass, putting my hands over my eyes as she snickered.  “I don’t know, what’s close?”

“How about your boyfriend’s heart on a spike?”  Wayne snarled as Danni and I were both overshadowed by the man who stood six foot four.  Danni turned in her spot, tossing the burning kindling branch she was holding into the fire and backed up until she was sitting next to me.  “Or, we could just have ourselves a couple of lovely little witches.”

He smiled down at us, the large blade in his hand and I grabbed Danni by the arm. I could see the glint of the fire against the metal of the gun tucked in the small of her back.  She was the only one armed.  I hadn’t come out with a gun, in fact the last time I had the Walther in my possession was the night before with the demons at the bar.

My brain went into overdrive.  How were we going to get the boys attention?  Exactly what the hell was Wayne planning to do with the knife and what the hell was his issue to begin with?

“Wayne, when did you get home?”  Danni question but the rolling feeling in my gut, the one that said “haul ass” was practically screaming in my ear and I clutched onto Danni as hard as I could, using my feet to kick back as Wayne stepped forward, that blade in his hand. The only response that Danni got was a wide grin and an evil look.  “Wayne, what’s going on?”

“You’ve been a busy little bird since I’ve been gone, busy with a Winchester!”  He snarled.  “I can smell him from here.”

What the hell was with people smelling other people on us, it just didn’t make any sense to me, but then again, my brain was reaching… reaching for something I desperately needed to remember.

_You’re doing it again, you’re blocking yourself._ THIS was not Cas, this was a deeper, spicier voice with a slight accent, male not female this time but undeniably recognizable. _Remember it, Pet, it starts with an “E”!_

“Get out of my head!” I snapped out loud and Danni looked at me concerned but he was right, it only started with the letter “E”, and that simple reminder had my brain working in overtime as the words started to flow “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas…”

“Shut it, Bitch!”  Wayne growled and watched his hand come up, his fingers curl and I could feel the invisible digits around my throat. It was so hard to breath, I brought my hands up, clawing at the unseeing force that strangled me and my world started to fade.

I heard it, like a sound underwater as the hammer clicked back on a gun. Even worse was the way that Danni’s voice sounded so muffled as the world on the edge of my eyes began to blacken.

“Let her go, you son of a bitch, or I swear I’ll fill you so full of lead and ash you’ll rattle like a change purse!”  Those were her words, at least from what I could make out and she meant every single syllable.

“You’re not going to shoot me, I’m wearing your husband as a meat suit,” it laughed and I managed to look up just in time to see his eyes change, completely blackened out like the demons at the bar.

“Watch me!”  She snarled through clenched teeth and the sound of the gun, of the pin coming down, rang through my ears.  The hand released as air rushed into my lungs and I felt Danni’s hand on my leg as I saw the blood run from the bullet wound in Wayne’s shoulder.  The sound of the gun going off notified the boys and while Danni locked the demon in a stare, I turned to watch the fury rise in the Winchester’s faces.  “Try that little stunt again and I won’t miss.”

“I’ll kill him!”  The demon threatened.

Danni’s face went solemn, thought back to the night of the storm and the changes in her husband and she let out a heartbreaking sigh.

“You’ve been playing with him for day, he’s probably already dead,” she answered, her tone void of emotions as she stood, pulling me to my feet with her. “Now. Where was she? Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus...”

Dean’s deep tone added to the chorus that Danni had started, and soon I joined in but we watched as the demon fought with all he had, at least for a little bit before he stopped moving and just stood there, smiling.

“I’m not just some petty little piss-ant that you can banish with an exorcism, and I don’t see any devil’s traps to keep me from killing all of you,” his eyes locked on me, “especially you.”

“Then if you’re just going to kill us anyway, wanna monologue me up to date on what the hell is going on?” I snapped and stepped forward, Danni took my wrist but I didn’t dare to get any closer.

“Are you so ready to die that you need it all spelled out for you?” He grinned, and I felt my insides shake.  I wasn’t looking at Wayne any more, I was looking at the monster inside him. “It’s simple really, your grandmothers made a deal and I’m here to collect.”

“Wait?” Dean spoke up, stepping closer, “What?”

Wayne the Demon turned and waved a hand, tossing Dean across the lawn and you could hear the breath rush from his lungs. Sam raised a gun, pointing it at the demon but it only smiled and shook its head, like there was nothing Sam could do with a puny gun to make this one go away.

“You didn’t know?”  he said snidely. “You Winchesters...hunters...some title when you couldn’t even spot the descendants of witches.” Sam glanced at me, he had known and I watched him release a breath. There was no judgement in his eyes and I’m glad he had gotten the truth out of me.

Dean pushed himself up from the ground, the look of confusion in his eyes felt like daggers as he stared at the two of us, but Sam’s jaw clenched as he steadied himself, adjusting his footing for either a fight or to fire off a shot.

“Yep, Granny Goodwitch and her sisters in the coven way back when Ali was just a little pain in the ass, made a deal with Crowley.”  Wayne smiled and turned his attention back to us, but I could see that Dean was becoming less and less concerned about the monologing demon and his bullshit story.  “They wanted these two protected, they wanted them to grow up so nice and pretty, and look at that, here we are today, and where’s your protector? Where’s your...Crowley?”

The way he said, the way he sneered as he enunciated the word made me feel the disdain flow from him, but that was when I was able to steal a glance in Sam’s direction.  His eyes were off the prize, off from Wayne the Demon and onto something standing not far behind us.  Danni’s movement caught my attention as she shifted to squat beside me and I finally got the hint, someone was behind us.

I turned, not sure I wanted to see but part of me was curious. My mind’s eyes had him dressed just like Mark from the show, a little over five foot eleven, dark hair and a beard and in a designer black suit, but when I finally looked at him, I was completely taken aback.

This man was taller than Mark, or maybe because I was sitting on the ground, clean-shaven but still with raven black hair, dressed to the nines in a suit but it was more...just a bit more than the black I was expecting.  The colors in it were vibrant. The suit was lovingly tailored, a dark blue pinstripe, which sounded odd but fit him perfectly.  The vest seemed some wild pattern but the tie is what set it off, and I know I had seen him before.

“Sorry, Love, this was the quickest suit I could find,” his accent was off, just a bit different than the one in my head, Welsh instead of Scottish.  “I didn’t want to bring my own, in case of any unforeseen possibility that the Moron here decides to get frisky.”

“Come for your girls?”  Wayne laughed, “No need to worry, _King_ , I’m going to take this little problem off your hands.”

“As much as I would like to dispose of the little nuances, a deal is a deal.” Crowley fixed the cuff on his sleeves before stuffing his hands in the overcoat he had on, the only thing that was black, and he stepped closer.  Dean was on his feet in an instant, colt aimed at one or the other monster, since he wasn’t sure who to fire at, but I was also now standing, bonfire at my back with nowhere to go. “You can’t have them, Azeel.”

“Your plan for their bloodline is insanity, Crowley, something you should have never set in motion and I’m not the only one to think so, how do you think we got this far without you knowing?”  This statement from the demon got a quick smirk from Crowley.

“Oh, no, I knew I should have had you followed,” he said in mock shock that his plan had been foiled, but his face twisted in anger.  “Did you really believe you were doing this under the radar, that you and your miniscule band of merry men were truly going to pull this off?”  I could hear his voice rise as he stopped, no more than five feet from Danni and I, and that grin crossed his face even as the anger filled his eyes.  “I’m the _bloody_ King of Hell, you _Moron_! I’ve known what was going on every step of the way, ever since you put that little bloodsucker on her thirty years ago.”

This caught my attention, and I looked from Crowley to the demon and back.  Sam’s eyes locked on mine as I felt my stomach turn and Danni’s hands were at my shoulders, steadying me as the knowledge shook me to the core.

“Now, I suggest you find yourself a nice little corner to hide in for a few centuries before we make a real mess of this little encounter.”  Crowley’s voice was even, monotoned and that sent shivers down my spine.

“I’m not afraid of you, Crowley.” Azeel, Wayne...whoever he was...snarked and smiled.

“Oh, you should be.”  With that, the battled ensued and all we could do, or at least all I remembered doing was sitting back and watching as Crowley raised his hand, as did Wayne and it was an invisible fight to the death, a telepathic MMA fight that no one seemed to want to step into, until Dean did.

The shot was fired, and it echoed across the emptiness making me jump out of my skin as my eyes set on the man with the smoking gun.  Wayne’s eyes went large, his body seemed to vibrate and explode with color as the bullet did its job.  I could see his ribs as his insides lit up, and he stumbled to turn towards the older Winchester.  Dean had caught him in the side, not a kill shot but for a Devil’s trap bullet, it didn’t have to be, it rendered him useless and trapped.

Crowley stepped closer as did Dean and Sam and we watched as the King placed his hand on Wayne’s forehead, smiling down when the demon went to his knees.

“Did you really think you could beat me?”  Crowley grinned, well it was more of a snarl, “or touch those that I protected without ramifications?  Hmm, where you’re going, you’ll wish that hunter had put it in your brain instead.”

Danni and I both jumped back as the sudden glow of power rocked Wayne’s body and like the demons in the back alley, the black smoke seemed to explode from every pore.  Wayne dropped to the ground, with eyes wide open and lifeless.  Danni dropped the gun and ran to his side as I stood there in shock, trying hard to catch my breath.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The backlash of all we've learned is coming to a head, and hopefully I'll avoid a bullet!

Chapter 25

I could hear Danni mumbling words, her voice shaking and full of dread as Dean, gun raised towards the man before me, stepped closer and crouched down beside her, his hand reaching for Wayne’s neck, but Crowley ignored the Winchester, his sights set on me as he came closer.  I clenched my hands together in anger, but it didn’t reach my eyes as I stared up at him.

From behind, I could see Sam take a protective stance above his brother, weapon still at the ready, but I focused on the man in front of me.

“They made a deal for you to protect me...us?”  I questioned.

“Purely self-serving on my part,” he grinned.  “You, and your partner, are the last pure descendants of your bloodlines and I need you for a role that I’ve waited centuries to fulfill.”

“You kept us safe to use us?” I shook my head, not in disbelief but in the knowledge that there was always a hidden agenda.

“I made a binding contract that no harm would come to you or her from that night forward.”

“The bite?”  I watched him grin and wink.  “Son of a bitch!” I whispered in disbelief, his notion of “no harm” wasn’t to protect me from the vampire, it was to get rid of the evidence. “Why don’t you just take care of the problem following me now?”

“He’s not a threat to your immediate health,” Crowley grinned.

“Screw off!” I snapped and this had Sam moving closer. “He tried to take me down more than once, he threw Sam through a window!”

“Yes, an unfortunate accident,” Crowley answered and looked over Sam, “but, it looked like it helped you snag a flannel-clad Moose in the process.  Tell me, is he just as good in the sack as he looks?”

I wasn’t thinking, didn’t really know what I was doing, but my hand came up and I smacked him full force across the cheek. I could feel the emotions building, the tears in my eyes began to sting as I glanced down at the body beneath Danni’s trembling hands.

“Save him!” I ordered and stepped forward, coming toe-to-toe with the well-dressed man. “Save him and I’ll do whatever you want.”

“You can’t make a contract with me, darling, your life is already under one, and I have the souls to satisfy it.”  Crowley leaned down to me and stared into my eyes as his turned red. “I need you for so much more than just this little adventure, Kitten.”

“You!” I snapped and punched at him with the side of my fist, one hit for every word, “Stupid! Sadistic! Son of a bitch!”

He grabbed me by the wrist and leaned down so that our foreheads were touching before his smile turned into a sneer.

“Ow!” he mocked and let me go, giving me a little shove backwards, right into a solid wall! I felt hands on my upper arms, gentle but safe and firm and I looked up at the blue eyes that were locked on Crowley. “Castiel, so nice of you to join the party.”

“Azeel is dead, Crowley, there’s no need for you to be here any longer.” Cas growled.  Dean looked up from Danni, from where he sat with her wrapped in his arms, and Castiel looked over, locking into a stare with the green-eyed man, but I watched as Dean’s gaze turned away, a look of defeat in them as he scanned the body. Cas turned me to him and I reached up, grabbing two fists of his suit jacket.  “I’m sorry, I can’t save him.”

“Why?”  I questioned, my lips trembling as the tears began to fall, “you said you would be here, why does he have to die?”

“Wayne never survived the initial possession,” Cas whispered, his hand touching my cheek as he made sure I understood what he was saying, “his heart gave out as soon as Azeel took control, I’m sorry.”

“He’s been dead for days?” I blinked back the information and peeked over at Danni, who was staring up in shock.  “Since when, Thursday night?”

“Yes,” Cas said softly, “I’m afraid so.”

“I was only brought to the attention of Azeel because of Juliette. I had her protecting the area, and our little Danni, but it was too late to save her other half.”  Crowley answered and I found that I could turn slightly in Cas’ arms to look at him, but Crowley was staring at Cas.  “Your protection of these girls is severely lacking, Feathers, I thought you were on top of the situation.”

“I’ve been tracking another source,” Cas answered.

“Dad?”  Sam’s voice interrupted and I watched as he cocked back the hammer, not sure if he was pointing it at Cas or Crowley. “You know where my father is?”

“I know where he is, yes.” Cas answered but his eyes went back to Crowley.  “And you’re not having him.”

“You’ve known?”  Sam questioned, confused, “this whole time?”

“It’s my job to protect your father, to protect you and Dean, and that was what I was doing.”  Cas defended himself but didn’t take his eyes off Crowley.  “Leave,” I felt the cold metal of an angel blade suddenly appear against my back, he was holding it so close the chill of it could be felt through the light shirt. “Whatever you were trying to accomplish here is done.”

“Well, we can’t all be the good guys,” the demon shrugged, “but then again, we can all be bad at some point.”  I watched as he turned his sights to Sam.  “Use your little ring on him, Moose, and burn the body as quickly as possible, Azeel is known to come back from the dead rather quickly, and he has a fetish for repossessing bodies that he’s...enjoyed.”

With that Crowley disappeared with the sound of a puff, but there was no smoke, or sulfur to even make you think he was ever around.  Sam lowered the gun, moved past Dean and Danni, to stare down the man still holding me in a protective stance, but the blade had disappeared.

“Where’s my father, Cas?”  Sam growled as his fist clenched, one around the handle of the gun, the other so tightly that his knuckles were white.

“As soon as it’s safe for you to take on this kind of issue, Sam, I’ll let you know.”  He answered, his brow raising as if to tell the man not to bother trying to get more out of him.  Sam shook his head.

“We’ve been searching for him for years,” Sam snapped, “you’ve got to give me something.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, but I wasn’t sure if it was to me or to Sam, but he placed a light kiss on my forehead before speaking one last time.  “I can’t.”

And then he was gone.

Both Sam and I looked around, knowing that the angel wasn’t going to be anywhere in the area, and I turned, finally breaking down as Sam wrapped his arms lovingly around me, while my body shook as the sobs came pouring out.  The week had been hell, and wonderful wrapped up in one but emotionally, I was almost completely done.

~~~~~

I watched as Danni stood guard over the linen wrapped body while the boys helped with the task of building the hunter’s pyre.  We were deep in the field, away from any prying eyes, and even further away from vehicle access. I moved to stand by her as Sam and Dean lifted Wayne’s body up and set him down gently upon the top of the woods before Dean stepped over, a torch in his hand.  I placed my hand on Danni’s back, felt her take the heat that Dean offered and slowly she moved forward.

From where I stood, I watched her take a breath, a deep shuddering breath that almost made her legs give out, but she steadied herself, mumbled some words that no one really heard, but that’s okay because they weren’t meant for us, they were only meant for him.  She took a step forward and placed the torch inside the pyre, one doused with an accelerant and then stepped back as the flames spread quickly, and rose high.

Dean’s arms were around her, holding her, and all I could do was smile because that was how it should be, not him worried about me, not him needing my connection but him wanting hers, being with _her_! Sam’s arms encircled my waist, and I turned to press my chest against his, my arms tucked safely between us as I put my hand on his heart, feeling it’s beat.

His lips were a solid reminder that he was there as they rested on my head, his breath flowing over my scalp and I licked my lips. He didn’t say anything, his hands just spanned my back and I felt him trying to draw me in, to hold me impossibly close while we were standing there, but he was trying.  The shock of Cas finding his father but not letting anything out of the bag, the fact that what I had told him about my grandmother was now out in the open, this was all weighing on him.

How could he protect me from anything, from himself, from Dean, when I was one of the things that he hunted?  His hand moved from my back and ran gently up my shoulders, until his fingers were rested in the slope of my shoulders, his middle and index finger caressing my neck and he nudged my chin up so that I could look at him.

“What the hell did my grandmother get us into?” I whispered, the emotion evident in my voice, but I tried to push it away from the look in my eyes.

“I don’t know, Al, but do know that I’m going to keep him from you.”

I smiled and leaned into his touch, and in a strange turn of events, I found myself thinking about that first night and the one thing that Dean kept repeating.  “You can’t.”

“I sure as hell can try,” he whispered and he leaned forward, ghosting a kiss across my lips as I closed my eyes.

And oh, how I wanted him to try, I wanted him to try so hard that he never let me out of this hold. I wanted him to keep me there forever, safe, but that wasn’t how it was going to be, that wasn’t our destiny, at least not right now.

“What are we going to do?”  I whispered, his thumb running across my lower lip.

“Keep her close,” he sighed and we both turned our sights on Danni, who was wrapped protectively and safely in Dean’s arms.

“I think your brother has that covered for now.” I smiled, but it faded as I watched the fire just beyond them. “I don’t know what to do, Sam.”

I felt his breath as he came close to my ear, feel the shake of his body as he tried to keep everything he was under control. It wasn’t easy for him, he felt everything tenfold, anger, lust, passion, death… one more death in all that he had seen… and his fingers trembled as he slipped them back into my hair.

“Love me,” he pleaded. That hard hunter facade faded with those words and the darkness that surrounded him crumbled as I turned to look at him, getting trapped in those eyes.  “Just love me.”

I felt my breath hitch, my hand gripped his shirt and held on tightly as he kissed me, not hard and demanding as he usually did, but controlled and lovingly, as if he needed just that little bit of comfort.  Love him… didn’t he know I already did?

~~~~~

I was leaning back against Baby, my mind going in a million different directions as I crossed my arms and looked down at one of the small stained spaces on the floor.  Crowley was protecting us for a reason, Cas knew where John was, but he was protecting him and the boys… protecting a demon? I mean I know it wasn’t John’s fault, at least that was what I believed, but he made a deal, and from what I get he hadn’t been active but why the protection?

Crowley acting on a deal out of some sort of self-preservation, not an unusual thing, but to help save himself from what? And what kind of danger needs that kind of preemptive strike to make a deal thirty years ago? Bloodline... last of the pure bloodline, me and _Danni_ , what did that mean, were we really sisters, or at least somewhere down like line actually family, blood family?

Sam stood in the doorway of the garage, watching Danni I assumed, as she sat by the fire. Dean had disappeared the moment we had gotten back, still needing to patrol the area to make sure that there weren’t any more vamps, but the signs were right, a demon had been among us. Still, him being out there, alone with the gun and the blade, I don’t think vampires were what he was looking for, I think he was just hoping something would jump out at him at the wrong time.

I had seen his face when the word “witch” had been used, the confusion, the uncertainty but he had still crowded around Danni, still protected her, so why did it make me feel that somehow, in some way, I was the one that all his questions were going to come down on.

Sam cleared his throat, making my head snap up at the sound, so much closer than the last place I had seen him and I watched as he leaned against the car beside me.  Why had he moved away from the door, wasn’t he supposed to be watching her? My eyes traveled from his to the silhouette in the darkness just outside the reach of the light to see Dean, standing at the ready, legs apart, arms crossed, no doubt with the colt in hand and I sighed.

“You should go out there,” Sam whispered, leaning in to let the breath caress my ear and I let out a sigh.  In his hand was a blanket, and even though it was close to eighty outside, I knew what it was for. When he handed it to me, I let the feeling of the rough material sink in, used it to ground myself as I pushed my body away from the car.  He took my hand, before I stepped away and let his thumb slide back and forth across my knuckles. “We’ll get to the bottom of this, I promise.”

I gave him a quick smile before responding, “I don’t think I want to.” I watched his eyes fill with confusion, the animated way his brows followed and the frown set on his lips told me that there was no way he was understanding why.  “I thought I had been a kid with issues, nightmares, and a wild imagination, but that wasn’t it… it never was just me being a kid. The supernatural has followed me from the jump and it scares the hell out of me.  I have three children at home, Sam, three beautiful, intelligent children who aren’t at all ready for this.”

“No one is ever ready for a life like this, Ali, it’s not something you study for,” Sam replied, his voice was soft, there was no judgement there, and I wasn’t judging his life, or the way he lived it either.

“I studied,” I smiled, cracking on the vampire lore that I was so obsessed with, “I thought I had learned everything I could, except there was one thing I never expected.” I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and licked the dryness from my lips.  “I never expected you.”

“You say it…”

“It’s not,” I interrupted, “it will never be a bad thing, but it will always be there, you will always be there and I know they’ll be protected but Sam, how do I not bring Crowley to them? How do I keep Cas and demons away?”

“You know how,” he grinned, “just like you know about vampire wards and sigils and an exorcism that you still need to work on, by the way, but you have everything you could ever need to protect them. Even me.”

I nodded, he was right, but it wasn’t something I said out loud, I just nodded and slipped from his fingers, heading out the door towards the fire with the blanket in hand.  I passed Dean, I thought I was far enough away to not disturb him, to keep the questions at bay but I felt the hand that stopped me, the arm that wrapped around my waist from behind and as I drew in a deep breath, I could smell everything that made him Dean to me and I relaxed back against him.

His free hand came up to settle on my arm, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze before his moved it to rest against my hair, his lips pressed against my head just before he replaced them with his forehead and I heard him sigh.

“You scared me,” he admitted, the touch moving from the side of my face down to join his hand at my waist. “Azeel had you and Danni and my first thought was I couldn’t lose her, not now, not when it was just starting…”

“And that’s the way it should be,” I whispered as I listened, but he shook his head, something I felt as he rolled against the back of mine.

“No, it’s not that easy, because the thought that came after, the one of my heart shattering if anything happened to you, that scared the hell out of me.” His arms wrapped just a little tighter, one spanning my ribs, one grasping at my hip.  “I don’t get it, how the hell did you get so deep so quickly?  How can you be so ingrained in me that I would jump headlong into a fire to save you?”

“It’s just my charisma,” I smiled and placed a hand on his, “you said it yourself Dean, we’re family, from the moment you stepped through that door and swung at that vampire, we were family, and sometimes they do that, you know dig in deep and never let go.” I turned quickly in his arms, before he could stop me, dropping the blanket in the grass as I placed my hands on his chest. “But, you can’t let it stop you from protecting her, she comes first.”

“Ali,” he sighed, “I don’t know if I can.”

“I know,” I smiled and watched his face do the same thing Sam’s did, but his lips thinned and it stretched that white scar.  “I know what instincts tell you, save the girl, save the day.  This girl doesn’t need to be saved, Dean, that one… no matter how much she would hate to admit it, right now that one does.”

“If anything happens, you know I’m coming for you.”

“Her first, Dean, it has to be always her first.”  I stared up into his eyes pleading with him and watched as his tongue rolled out over his lips, his eyes going right to the woman at the fire and then back at me.  “I need to you to promise me that you will put Danni before me.”

“Like I said, I don’t know if I can,” he sighed.  “I will always protect her, she will always be the one I stand behind, or in front of but Ali, not until this is over, not until I know you’re safe.”

I smiled, reached up and touched his cheek, running the pads of my fingers along the length of the reminder he had left on his face, a reminder of the time he wasn’t able to protect and I felt him shiver.

“You ever had two Winchesters at your back?”  I questioned and watched his eyes light up in a smile, either thinking about Cas, the unofficial Winchester, or John, and he didn’t even have to answer.  “Then you know that no matter what, there will never be a time that I’m _not_ safe. She’s first, Dean, she’s priority on this one, and I know you’ll do what you need to in order to keep her that way.”

“Stop being so damn bossy,” he said in a mock tone of aggravation before he kissed my forehead and let me go.

I raised a brow, grabbed the blanket and walked over towards Danni. For a second I stopped, looking around the dark field, letting the cold shiver and feeling of being watched flow over me before I rested the blanket across her shoulders and sat down beside her.

Danni looked at me, her eyes puffy and red from crying earlier, but there wasn’t any evidence on her face of recent tears and she gave me a half-hearted smile before she bumped against me with her shoulder. I watched her eyes focus once again on the fire, as I looked over her expression and the smile faded from my lips.

I had done this, I had brought this into her life. MY grandmother, MY demons, MY fight and she had lost her husband because of it, and there was no way I was ever going to forgive myself.

~~~~~

It was nowhere close to midnight, hell I don’t even think it was past ten when I made my way back to the garage.  Danni had left the blanket draped over me where I had laid back in the grass and apparently closed my eyes. Sam was standing watch when I stepped into the light and he gave me a faint smile. 

My stomach rumbled, yeah dinner had been forgotten, at least from our minds, but my body craved food and I heard the door come down behind me as I looked around.  There were Sonic bags on the table, a few half-empty beers and I turned to look at Sam, questioning the absence of the two I had expected to see.  His eyes glanced in the direction of the bathroom, where my ears finally caught the sound of the shower and I nodded.

“You need to eat,” he sighed and his hands rested on my hips.

“You must be psychic now, Sam Winchester,” I smiled, and stood up on my tiptoes to steal a kiss before I slipped out of his grasp and made my way to the table. Rummaging through the bags I found some boneless wings and a Strawberry Lime-Aid with my name on it. Sweet! 

Sam sat down across from me, taking a beer in hand and I watched as he twirled it, his eyes peeking up every now and again to look me over as I was happily stuffing my face.  Food never tasted so good.

Dean walked out of the bathroom, and I looked him over as he twirled the chair and straddled, leaning his arms against the back of it.  His hair was still dry, which made me curious, but not enough to ask what he had been doing in the bathroom, the grin on his face was enough to seal any thoughts on that.

He stretched back and ran his hand through his hair as all three of us watched Danni slowly emerge from the bathroom, the steam flowing from the room.  I smiled at her as she tied her hair back in a braid and came to sit right next to Sam at the table.  She slid the beer towards Dean, grabbed her soda and gave him a curious look, which had me just sitting back watching.

“So,” he spoke plainly, his voice deep, which meant only one thing, “we have to talk.” Yep, how did I know? His eyes flickered from one of us to the other as Danni tried to ignore him and go on eating her food, but I knew that no matter what, when Dean actually wanted to talk, people needed to respond. “Witches?”

“It’s a long story,” I sighed. His green eyes landed on me.

“We got time,” he snapped.

“But I don’t have all the details.” I put the soda down and turned in the seat to face him completely.  “Look, all I remember is flashes of memories, and one night when I was nine, but other than that, I had no idea.”

“Okay, so tell me about that one night,” he coaxed gently and I let out a breath because I hadn’t really told Danni about it either.  “Anything you can remember, anything useful.”

“It’s the night I learned about the wards,” I whispered, clearing my throat, “in fact, it was the night I learned everything I know about the what was really in the darkness.” Sam sat forward, moving every part of himself to the edge of the seat so that his leg touched mine under the table.  “I think… well at the time I wasn’t sure but now I know it, they summoned Crowley that night, our grandmothers and he, well she at the time, told me that nothing would harm me from that night forward.”

“Fat lot of good that promise was,” Dean huffed, “you’ve been attacked by vampires how many times in the last week alone?”

“But I haven’t gotten hurt, I mean not really. The scratches are pretty well healed and of all the shit that’s happened, I’m still alive.”  I glanced around the garage, tapped twice on the table and set my sights on Dean once more. “Okay, listen, this is all I got, I think Crowley gave me everything, I mean I think he crammed every piece of information that he could about witchcraft into my head.  I recognized the wards that Sam put up, the symbols on your rings, hell I could rattle off more than a dozen spells and I have no idea where they came from but I’m not a witch.”

Dean sat back, this was the moment, the one that decided whether we lost him, the one where he made up his mind if _I_ truly was the monster I claimed to be.  I glanced at Danni, whose eyes were locked on Dean, just waiting, and then I turned to Sam, but his expression told me only one thing, he was ready to move should Dean decide to draw his gun.

“I believe you,” Dean whispered. The breath I was holding released and I sit back, well not only me but Sam as well.  I saw the younger Winchester’s look of confusion, as if Dean had given in way too easily.

“What?” Danni whispered

“Dean...” Sam’s mouth began to move quietly as words seemed to slip out with just his breath, Psalms 68, and Dean’s lips parted as he rolled his eyes.

“Not a demon, Sammy!” He groaned and put his hands down on the table.  “Look, I know it’s totally out of character…”

“Yeah, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers kind of out of character, Dean.”  Sam replied and watched as his brother raised his hand.

“Wanna let me explain?”  Dean waited as Sam sighed and sat back, gesturing to him that he had the floor.  Dean turned back to me and took a breath.  “I know you’re not a witch, Ali. Come on, you may have known what the hex bags were for but a witch would have known to never open something crafted by another witch, and the rings, basic sigils for possession, granted the fact that you knew it right off the bat kind of made me wonder but I already told you, you’re not a monster.”

“Okay, the wards?” I questioned and Dean sat back.

“That one kind of threw me off but when you told me about your research, I assumed you might have come across something in the lore,” he shrugged, but I couldn’t just let it slide, Dean was letting me off way too easy, until he turned to Danni. “Now you, I don’t care what anyone says, you’re a badass woman and a hell of a hunter, but you’re no witch.  You’re Ali’s other half, sure but Glenda, not a chance in hell.”

“So, you’re saying I’m not witchy enough to be a witch?”  Danni questioned and this made me smile.

“No, you’re not evil enough,” and that was the moment I knew that there was no way to convince him otherwise that I had been or would ever become a monster, but the memories still haunted me, the ones that I hadn’t told anyone yet.  “Danni, no matter what, you and Ali will always be protected by us, nothing will stand between us and your safety, I don’t care what kind of deal Crowley made up thirty years ago with a coven that doesn’t exist.”

“I just want to know about our bloodline,” I whispered and watched as eyes turned to me as I looked up, focusing on Danni, “how exactly are we related?”

“I knew it was too much of a coincidence will all the similarities not to be.” She smiled, but I knew it was a good thing, even Sam gave a little grin.

“So, witch crisis averted, right?”  I reached out and took Dean’s hand. “I mean, you aren’t planning on using those bullets at any point in time, are you?”

“Only the vampire ones, baby.” He winked and I closed my eyes. Danni laughed, she knew how much I hated that name.

“Please don’t call me that,” I sighed and watched Dean’s grin grow. Oh no, something he could use against me and I closed my eyes. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

I shook my head and went back to eating, trying to ignore the glances of the green-eyed man next to me.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you come face to face with your worst nightmare, things get a little tricky...

Chapter 26

Danni and Dean had slipped out the door, moving down to tend to the bonfire that still blazed in the field beyond where we could really see. It had been quiet for hours, neither one of them re-entering the building, of course Sam and I had our own plans, which included relaxing and apparently, the back seat of the Impala, but it wasn’t what it sounded like.

The windows were rolled down, and I sat staring up at the fluorescent lights, trying to think about absolutely nothing except the way my fingers felt running through Sam’s brown locks, and the gentleness of his touch as he played with the fingers of my free hand.  It wasn’t that we were bored, I mean there were always plenty of things for us to do, but the two of us ended up sliding into the car, and casually decided that this was how it was going to be.

We had a comfortable silence going, no need to say anything to one another as he lay with his head on my lap, sock clad feet planted against the seat as he pulled his knees up, which to me looked completely uncomfortable but since he hadn’t moved them in order to find another way to stretch out, my thoughts were that he was lying just the way he liked.  I had my legs stretched out in front of me, feet crossed at the ankles and my head back on against the black interior, just staring away.

I heard him laugh, or sort of laugh, kind of like a few little huffs as he traced my fingers with one hand, while using the other to hold it up.  I looked down at him, raked my hand through his hair once more and I noticed the smile on his lips, no teeth, just a simple grin and his blue-green eyes went from my fingers up to lock on mine.

“What’s so funny?”  I whispered, trying not to break that feeling of serenity.

“You don’t find this odd that we can sit in a car, in the middle of a garage and just...I don’t know, veg?”  He shrugged and his eyes rested once again on the hand he was playing with.

“I don’t see why we should find anything that we do odd at all,” I answered and turned back to the window, “look at our life this week, I think we’ve earned a bit of a reprieve, besides, if we chance it, and walk out there, you never know how much of your brother or Danni we might happen to walk in on.”

“Yeah, so locking ourselves in the backseat of a car is absolutely the best idea we can come up with.”  He laughed, a little louder this time. 

“What’s the matter? Is it giving you too much time to let that mind of yours do some dirty thinking?” I grinned and looked down at him.  Sam turned his head, locking his stare on me and suddenly he was turning around.  He propped himself up, one hand pressed against the seat on the other side of my legs as an anchor so he could lean in on me.  His lips inches from mine.  “See, I knew you had something brewing in that genius brain of yours.”

“Actually, I was enjoying our quiet time,” he grinned and reached out, brushing the skin that my scoop-neck shirt exposed, “but now that you brought it up,” he kissed me softly, “a little foreplay could be fun.”

“Foreplay?  You know that’s not what’s going to happen, right?” I giggled as he slipped his hand behind my back and pulled me too him, adjusting himself and me until I was lying the full length of the seat and he towered above me. “It will go so much further than that.”

“Not if we stay in control,” he whispered as he leaned down and I closed my eyes, feeling his lips against my neck.

“I am so not the one who has an issue with control,” I smiled, tangling my fingers into that unruly hair of his as he nipped at my skin.

“Um-hmm, you are a perfect model of self-control,” he mumbled against me, his warm breath making my skin tingle and I couldn’t deny the sound that left my throat as I bared more of it for him. “See, you’re in total control.”

A loud crash in the loft brought Sam away from me, not fully but enough so I could see his face, and the way his eyes darkened at the sudden intrusion.  We never heard Dean or Danni enter the garage. They were quiet but not enough so that they would have made it up the steps without making a noise.

Something inside me started to shiver before it reached a visible level, like I could feel the evil close by and Sam sat back, putting his feet on the floor of the car as I sat up, both of us looking up into the darkness of the loft.

I saw him grab the gun that he had placed on the back deck of the car and he glanced at me, using that awesome nonverbal communication that I was so getting used to, but I rolled my eyes as his narrowed at me. 

Sure, I’ll stay here like a helpless damsel while you go check for bad guys, Sam, great plan! Didn’t he know that was how bad things happened?  I mean even I watched horror movies, hell, even Scooby Doo didn’t split up completely, there was always a partner involved.

Okay, so maybe I was feeling a little left behind as Sam got out of the car, his gun at the ready as he raised a finger to his lips as if to shush me. 

Dude, I didn’t say anything, and didn’t intend to, I knew the rules!

At least that was what my face screamed at him, but he just kept right on heading towards the stairway.

Bad idea, Sam, bad idea! 

Ugh, this wasn’t making me feel any better.

I watched as he went up, just a little and that was when I had it, there was no way I was going to sit there and let him get hurt. I jumped over the seat, watching him move up a few steps, and popped open the glove compartment.  I raised my brows… gotta love Dean! I smiled and pulled the small Walther, his backup gun, from its hiding spot.

I checked the mag, clicked back the slide, and made sure the safety was on before I slid it in the back of my jeans and climbed out of the car, making sure I used the window and not the squeaking door. Sam was gone from sight, and as silent as death, probably the wrong choice of words but if I had said the night, then he would have actually been making a lot of noise, but as it was, there was nothing, not even the sound of his light steps on the floor above me as approached the stairway.

Gun drawn now, I took a breath, clicked off the safety and put one bare foot on the wood.  It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling, rough untreated wood beneath my toes, but that was the least of my problems.  I stepped with my left, placing it on the first step, and crossed over with my right, placing it as softly as possible on the one right above it.  It was almost a dance, but for me it was a perfect way for me to keep my balance, and be as silent as possible at the same time.

When I topped the stairs, I ducked down low, hoping to see around everything that was up on boxes.  There were old desks, some tables, chairs and other things that acted as if they were shelves for whatever Charlie had stored up there, but there was nothing to see around.  Even when I got close enough to see underneath some of the items, there were more boxes in the way.  I rolled my eyes and knew that that there was something wrong. 

I wanted to reach into my pocket and grab my phone, something that I could have used to contact Dean to let him know that there was something up, but then I remembered, the screen was cracked and there would be more of chance of me getting out a text message before the whole building collapsed during an earthquake, which would never happen, than right when I needed to, which was right now. (Did that even make any sense, maybe my brain wasn’t working, instinct had kicked in.) Either way, there was no chance in hell I was getting anything to Dean.

With a deep breath, I stepped into the darkness, back to the wall where nothing could sneak up behind me and I moved in that exact pattern.  Around the boxes and aware of everything within eye shot, I focused on spots where the moose of a man might be able to hide. It was then that I saw him, or at least his socks, lying in an odd position on the floor in a corner, his gun not too far from where I spotted him and quickly I moved to where he was.

Not wanting to leave myself open for anything, I moved up behind Sam as he lay on his side, eyes closed and as still as death, (and there was that word again) but when I reached down, the gun still up and aimed at whatever might move, my fingers found his pulse and I dared to let out a sigh.  His hair, from where I moved it away from his forehead, was dark and coated in warm blood, the copper scent in the air, and I slowly stood.

My body shook with anticipation as I stared into the darkness.  There was a reason he was back here, one that should have had me running for the hills, but instead I stood over him, like a wolf over its mate and there was no way I was moving from that spot, not unless by force. It was then that I remembered that Sam had his cell on him.  Reaching down in his pocket, I tried to search for the phone, but the damn thing was caught, and for some reason wouldn’t move from his big, dumb pocket.

The silence was starting to become deafening and if you had never experienced it before, it was almost painful, everything outside you was still and you could hear a pin drop, but inside your own body, because there was nothing else for your brain to focus on, you would start to hear the whoosh of your own blood, the thump of your heart and it became so loud that it turned into physical pain.

That was where I was right now.  My heart beat hard against my chest, as if it were about to explode through my ribs and I knew that my anxiety was on the verge of sending me into a fight or flight mode that I wasn’t going to come down from for days.  It was then that my mind kicked into overdrive, letting me know the laundry list of things that I hadn’t gotten to do, or had forgotten to… like did I call my kids, did I tell them that I loved them, would I ever get the chance? 

Would I ever be able to admit to Sam how I really felt, or even tell Dean that despite all of his arrogant reckless protectiveness, I needed his touch as much as he needed mine?  Would I ever be able to tell Danni that there were so many more adventures that I couldn’t wait to go on with her, even if it meant that pain in the ass Winchester would never leave our sides?  And Vancouver and New Orleans?

I was afraid, more than I had ever been in my life, more than when the vampire attacked when I was a kid, more than when the woman with the red eyes approached, and even more afraid than that second in time when I saw a man come crashing through my window.

That was it! That was the moment, the one memory that sent me into motion.  Sam had been trying to protect me that night, lead it away and now it was coming back… it was back… _for me_.

“Okay, you fanged son of a bitch, I’m done playing games!”  I snapped, my voice low and purposely quiet, because I was trying to hear where the attack might come from.  “You want me, come and get me. I’m done playing.”

I never heard it coming, thought I had all my bases covered, but I was wrong. Dead wrong!

~~~~~

I don’t remember what happened after the words, don’t remember the lights going out on my little hero parade, but as I came too, I definitely remembered the pain.  Something had made my world go dark and by the small electric shocks that were zipping around the back of my head, my guess would be that something had taken a swing.

It took a minute to focus in the dark, a moment more to get my bearings as I looked around the room.  Things were hazy, black and white, and nearly out of focus but I could make out shapes.  Broken windows, old gurneys that were overturned, and papers crowded the floors within my line of sight.  I shifted on the cold tile floor, my hands were loose which surprised me because you would have thought someone would have tied me up.

I managed to push up to a sitting position, even as my head throbbed in protest and I nearly passed out again from the head rush.  I know I moaned as I leaned back against the cold surface behind me, which I assumed was a wall of some sort and pushed down with my hands to help sit up straighter, but glass dug into my palms, making the blood that was already coating them run warm.

Great, when I get out of here I’m going to need a tetanus shot.

I managed to brush the blood from my hands, and picked out the little piece of glass that stuck to them without issue.  The problem wasn’t that it was dark, because there was enough light in there for me to make out everything, it was that I was completely alone in the dark without a weapon and no real sense of direction.

I ran my hand over my head, now that the threat of putting glass in whatever damage was done back there was over, and felt the thick matte of hair that was clumped together from the dried blood, and the ache of the bump underneath it.  Whatever had gotten me hadn’t been very close when it swung or there would have been more damage, and as it was, I think that all I had was a small egg and the possibility of a little bit of a split. Head wounds always bled more.

This thought made me think of Sam and the blood he had on his forehead.  With a wince, and yet another turn of my stomach, I managed to get to my feet with a bit of effort. Once stable enough to move, I found that the little bit of light that was allowing me to see was coming from a source down the hallway, just outside the room I had been dumped in.

Taking a glance back at the four walls, I realized that I could almost see the light of a fire some ways down the road.  I knew at that moment exactly where the hell I was.  Turning towards the hall once more, I slowly made my way out into the debris-covered floors.  At least the glass wasn’t coating the room like it had been before. This time it was just papers, old mattresses, and some wheelchairs.  Basically, it looked like people had grabbed and ran when they closed this place down.

Danni had said it was an old institution, and I remembered wanting to see it when we talked about it on the phone. I really wish I had been more specific when told her that I wanted to see it from the road and _NOT_ from the inside of the scary ass abandoned building.

Left, or right? Wasn’t that always the question? Which way would make it easier to find Sam? My guess would have been to follow the light source, hope to God or Chuck or whoever was listening that it leads me straight to him, and we would be able to blow this popsicle stand without much of a fight, but something deep inside me gave me the impression that there was no way this was going down easy.

So, right it was, and apparently _right_ into the belly of the beast.

~~~~~

It must have been the blow to the head, or the fact that it was nearly dark and blinding in the building, but the hallway seemed to get longer the further I walked, that and I’m pretty sure my bare feet were frozen by the time I got halfway but I pushed on. I know it was getting lighter, and I know I was getting closer but there still was very little sound coming from anywhere in the building.

Why couldn’t this be an episode of Supernatural? Sam and Dean rush in, gank the bad guys, save the girl and have a few beers, yep that would be ideal but apparently, my real-life adventures trumped the show’s in one aspect.  That would be how long it actually took to get to the exciting parts. 

Just before reaching the busted, swinging doors, my luck held up and I found a broken chair, broken enough to give up one of its legs. With both hands, I wrapped my fingers around it, put my iced feet against the rest of the dilapidated seat, and pulled, twisting the mangled leg free, it was kind enough to even give me a nice, sharp, pointed end. Holding onto it like a bat, I slipped through the space between the two doors, small enough to keep the light in but wide enough for me to squeeze through without catching it or making any noise.

The room was large, probably would have been considered a meeting room back in the day, but at the moment, it only held a few things, a large spotlight, a chair and Sam, who was tied to said chair under the heat of the lamp. His head was down, his hands and ankles tied to the arms and legs of the chair and even though I couldn’t see the movement, I could hear the sound of his breaths as he struggled to take in a deep one with the position he was in.

Glancing around at the shadows, I began to move further into the room, twisting my hands around the cold metal of my makeshift weapon. I inched closer, wanting just to rush to him, but with the knowledge that he was breathing, I knew that I needed to take my time, watch my back and hopefully get us both out of here alive.

The noise behind me stopped me dead in my tracks, took my plan and all but tossed it out the nearest broken window, because it was the squeak of that door that had me planted firmly on the ground.  I knew I shouldn’t have bothered, because I knew what was coming up, but I had to turn anyway.  Slowly, bat raised, I pivoted on what I could imagine were blue toes and looked at the silhouette that stood against the white door.

It wore a black hood, pulled low on its face, but still there was something about it that made me feel a familiar fear, and I watched as it took a step forward.  I didn’t move, which I guess it had expected me to do because it laughed, I mean a mostly human laugh but you couldn’t hide the monster underneath it well enough to make me think this was just some punk-ass kid.

It stopped, maybe ten feet from me and reached up slowly, pulling the hood from its head. That was when I saw it, the one thing that every monster in my life had become after that night, the face of the one that bit me, the fanged beast of my nightmares.  And it was standing right in front of me.

I swallowed hard, staring into its dead black eyes, as the smile creeped up on its face, its hands coming to rest in front of it, as if it were standing at attention, or more at ease but either way, it was looking at me like I was finally dinner.

“You’ve grown up,” it spoke softly, as if it were amazed at what I had become, but I didn’t answer, didn’t care to.  “I was afraid that what I did was permanent, but I can see that you healed rather quickly, or at least that was what I had heard, to actually see it amazes me.”

“The damage you did?”  I questioned and watched it grin.  “You mean to my sanity or just the damage in general?”

“To your arm, Alison,” it answered, “I never meant to make you doubt your sanity, I only meant to mark you.”

“Why?”  Yeah, why was I even standing here having a conversation with the thing nightmares are born from, and why the hell wasn’t I more scared?  I listened to it chuckled. Great, you dumbass, get a good laugh in because I swear… and that was when it hit me.  I wasn’t scared anymore, not of monsters, not of vampires, and certainly not of this ass clown because in the last few days I had faced my fears and come to the conclusion that nothing was beyond my reach, including taking care of this sick son of a bitch. “Why did you want to mark me?”

“Because, I wanted you,” it shrugged.  “You see I knew what you were long before you did. The descendent of a bloodline that could stop the coming of royalty.”

“I’m sorry,” not really, but I was a bit confused, “what?”

“Crowley’s little plan for you,” it stepped closer and I tightened my hand around the bat. My reaction seemed to get more of a smile from it. “Oh, so you still don’t know the whole deal.  That was what I thought. You see I’ve been watching you for a while now,” it stopped and suddenly reached out, like lightning, and knocked the bat from my hand before wrapping its long fingers around my throat.  I was at full attention now, but it only gave a little squeeze, not enough to kill me, just enough for me to know it could. “Watching you with your children, with your little job, and I realized, you have no clue, do you, at least you didn’t until you met them, the hunters.

“Your monologue is riveting, a real attention getter,” my mouth spoke before my brain could tell it to shut up, “but wanna get to the point?”

“You and your _sister_ are the only ones that can kill the Princes of Hell.” It grinned widely, especially at my reaction.  Shock took over as I recognized the storyline, at least where the princes were concerned.  This was new, Season twelve new, while everything else seemed to be thrown off, but thirty years in the making for a storyline that was up-to-date.  What the hell was going on?  Sam was the one who killed Ramiel, _SAM_ not me, so how was it possible that Danni and I were the only ones who could?  “I see that mind of yours working, but there’s no real answers to your questions.  This isn’t your television show, things just don’t work like that, you know, scripted to play out just the way the writers wanted.”

“So, what’s your deal on it?  What do you get from following me around my whole life, marking me?” I felt the long tips of its dirty fingers digging into my flesh as its fangs sprouted forward, giving me a view of that deadly grin.

“At first I was going to kill you, suck you both dry and dump your bodies, because Crowley needs you for it to work, both of you.  All I need is one.” With that it lunged forward, sinking its teeth down into the soft flesh of my neck and I screamed.

It was a white-hot pain when they ripped through and the noise that escaped me, as I pushed against it with everything I had, echoed through the empty building.  That silence that I had felt before, the deafening noise of my own heartbeat, the sound of my blood pumping out of my veins and into its greedy, sucking mouth, came to me. Just as my vision blurred, it released me, hands and all, which sent me tumbling back on the hard floor.

It was then that I noticed the figures that had filled the room. In that few minutes of mindless rambling, the vampire had managed to collect what was left of its nest, only seven others but enough to give me an issue, especially with the blood loss.

I moved across the floor slowly, sliding the best I could on hands and knees because standing up would have only put me back on the floor again from the sudden head rush.  I could hear it laughing at me as I finally got to Sam, reaching out with numbing hands that felt thick and useless as I tried to untie the ropes.

It was no use, I couldn’t get these clumsy fingers to do anything but feel, and I stopped the instant I touched his leg. Looking up at the head of hair that hung limp above me, I could almost see the color of his eyes.  He was awake, and waiting just as I slid my hand up into the leg of his jeans, I saw those eyes narrow and I know he wanted to shake his head.

I coughed, making a racket as my hand touched the cold, hardened handle of the boot knife sheath, and I released the snap, letting it slide down into my hand.  As it came down, I was able to slice the rope enough so that one good kick of his leg and he would be loose but that didn’t do him any good if the rest of him was still tied up.

I felt cold hands on the flesh of my ankles and suddenly I was ripped back from Sam, hand still wrapped tightly against the hilt of the blade.  I turned over as the monster pinned me against the hard floor, its hands reaching for my neck once again, but I held back on the knife, tucking it under me as I waited for it to get close enough.

I knew it was going to bite again, I could see the blood-stained teeth coming at me even as it held my head to the side.  Closer… just a little closer… that was all I needed, just to feel it’s breath against my skin, the putrid stink of old blood and I drove the tip of the blade upwards, hard and swiftly.  I felt it pierce the skin, slide in through guts and muscle and I ripped it back out to do it all over again.  The vampires in the background began to howl as I went for a third. This time I was able to use all of what I had left to push the monster off me.

It rolled and I felt the weight lift, but I needed to move too, needed to be able to save my own ass for a change and I managed to make it onto my stomach before I noticed that Sam had become fully animated, pulling at the ropes that held him by straining upwards against them and the metal that held him groaned.

I felt my feet slip on the blood coated floor before I got enough footing to make it to the chair. My brain was screaming at me, worried about the fact that the blood on the floor was mixing in with the cuts that graced the bottom of my soles.

Sam looked up at me as I braced the edge of the knife along the thickness of the rope and began to saw against it.  He looked around, impatiently at the vampires as they slowly closed in.  What the hell was going on, why weren’t they attacking?  I just stabbed their sire, who was lying still not more than five feet away but I knew he wasn’t dead.

“Ali,” Sam whispered stressing the need to move faster.

“I’m trying not to cut you, this has vamp blood on it, Winchester! I don’t need you fanging out.”  I snapped back and finally frayed the rope enough for him to break free. Together we made quick work of the other one, the knife still in my hand as he got to his feet, pulling me along with him.  “I’m bleeding out, there’s no way I can take any of them.”

“Just stay close by, lean on me,” he ordered, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“You’re not going to be able to kill the bad guys with me leaching onto you,” I answered, pushing away, and a wave of dizziness took over. That was great, perfect timing for Sam to get his point across. I was useless. “Your phone! Give me your phone!”

He fished it from his pockets as he looked around at the vampires that were closing the distance and slapped it down in my waiting palm, to which I did the same with the knife, he was better with it anyway.  I struggled with cold fingers to get the screen to unlock and hit the last contact made, which, of course was his brother.

It rang only twice before that deep, protective and probably very pissed off voice came over the line. “Sammy?”

“Dean,” I whispered back pressing it to my ear.

“Ali, where the hell are you?”

“The abandoned hospital,” I groaned as Sam released me, swinging at the monster over my head and I found myself sitting on my ass on the floor. “We’re, ah…” I glanced around trying to find a location. There in the corner, just beyond the light was two, large, black identifying marks.  “C-4.  We’re on the third floor, looks like a meeting hall, cafeteria?”

“Yeah, I got you, we’re coming up the second flight of stairs.”

“Dean, you have to hurry, we’re outnumbered and outgunned, in fact we’re no gunned and I’m bleeding.” I snapped, and the phone started to weigh more than I could hold.  “Dean!”

“I’m coming Ali, just hold on.”  The line went dead, which was good because I didn’t have it in me to hold onto it anymore.

The device clanked against the floor and I looked up just in time to see the monster coming at me. Its hands grabbed me by the waist, pulling me under it once again, and this time I didn’t have the strength to fight it off. 

I closed my eyes as it’s hand wrapped around my neck once more, forcing my head to the side as I waited for that bite, that feeling of white-hot pain, but nothing came. At that moment, the doors burst open, the sound of boots hitting the linoleum floor filled my ears and the monster moved off me once more.  I couldn’t move, gasped for breath but felt arms around me, tugging me up to sit against the warmth of a body.

In my vision, with what I could made out as it started to fade, I knew that Sam had a machete, and was swinging with everything he had.  I could see Dean’s strokes as he moved, almost like a dancer in a well-choreographed play.  They were naturals, working together, shifting as the other one turned and before we knew it, the room had filled with silence once again, silent save for one thing.

The growing laughter of the monster that stood over me and Danni, the one body not on the floor, the one safe person tucked up behind me, holding me upright as I stared at it, blood dripping down its chin. Even in Danni’s hold, with the strength of her arms, it wasn’t enough to keep it from yanking me to my feet, my shirt clutched in its hands and it pulled me towards its face.

“You!” It snarled, “You brought this death to my family!”

“No,” I said weakly, but smiled nonetheless, “you brought _me_ to your family, and sentenced them all to die.  This is on you, because you couldn’t just leave it well enough alone.”

“It doesn’t matter,” it smiled insanely, as if every ounce of reason had left its mind. I felt the tug on the back of my shirt, the cold metal of a gun pressing against the palm of my hand as I reached back, thinking Danni was going to take it, but I let my fingers wrap around the grip, felt the weight of it and gave a slight adjustment so that my fingers lay just above the trigger. “Crowley will never get what he wants because I’m going to take you to hell with me, even if I have to die to do it.”

It lunged forward, its teeth scraping against the same wound it had inflicted earlier and I flinched but only enough so it thought I was afraid, even as I brought the barrel up and rested it against its heart. It pulled back, looked me in the eyes and snarled.

“Oh, you’re going to die, alright, but I’ll be damned if you’re dragging me with you,” I whispered and squeezed the trigger. The sound made everyone in the building jump, and I felt the release as it started to back away, its hand moving and I stumbled, not realizing just how much it had been holding me up.

When it faltered over its own feet, when it swayed as the blood drained from the knife wound and the wooden bullet that pierced its heart, I raised the gun once more.

“Give Purgatory my regards, because hell is too good for you!”  I whispered and watched its eyes grow large, just as I fired off another shot. I watched it leave the gun, watched it sail through the air and penetrate the spot right between its eyes.  I saw it move, the body sway once more, but it didn’t have a chance to do much more as the end of a sharpened blade seemed to float through the flesh of its neck.

The body separated, as it seemed to always do, the head one way, the torso the other and I let the weight of the gun become my anchor as I went down to my knees.

Dean stood behind it, blade in hand, dripping with the vampire blood. His chest heaving with the exertion of the fight, but the hate and anger in his eyes faded as he looked down at me, coming quickly forward as I began to slump. My world turning towards the darkness.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only thing I can hear in my head when I post this is: When the night falls in around me...

Chapter 27

I felt the pressure against my neck and something coarse, some sort of material, but I couldn’t seem to climb out of the black hole that I was in, no matter how much I scratched and clawed.  Sam cradled me against him, I could feel his hands, his fingers pressing down on the cloth, holding it against the seeping wound. Danni’s hands were on the rest of me, checking the palms of my hands, the cuts on my feet, but it was Dean’s hands that cupped my cheeks.

I could smell the copper scent of blood, the hint of the fire that he and Danni had been in front of and everything that made him just who he was, a knight in cotton plaid, but as much as I wanted to reach out and comfort them both, there was no way to accomplish it. The light at the end of the tunnel was fading, that one small pinprick of light that I was striving to reach was gone and the world around me faded into something else.

~~~~~

I heard the flutter of wings, the sound of the birds around me and when I opened my eyes, I stood in the same wide open field that I had before, the one with the single park bench and I smiled.  This must be my heaven, funny, I never really pictured myself as someone that would want to be stuck in an everlasting, perfect spring day, but then again, I never pictured myself as someone who could fire a gun through the skull of a vampire either.

As I turned, I noticed the birds that flew over heard, the sounds of the squirrels in the trees and smiled at the symbolism, I half expected to see a moose as well but nothing bound from the tree line.  I moved once more, this time towards that bench and sat down, my hands folded in front of me, my elbows on my knees and I drank in the warmth of the sun, at least until I felt the presence beside me and I sat back, glancing over at the black-haired man.

“You said that you would be there for me,” I stated, not making a big deal out of the fact that I was pretty sure I had died.

Castiel sighed, his hands resting on his lap as he looked up at the blue sky.  “Even the most well laid plans can crumble.”

“Bullshit!”  I rolled my eyes and looked over at him.  Cas clenched his teeth and turned towards me, looking me over.  “You can’t tell me that in all this time you haven’t bent the rules of the plan just a little, say for someone like Dean… or Sam, hell I’m pretty sure you’re bending them for John right now.”

“John Winchester…” he started but stopped himself as he shook his head.  “Why are you so concerned with John?”

“Because in my life, he’s the part of the puzzle that’s out of place, and call me curious but I want to know why.”  I shrugged and crossed my arms, stretching my legs out to let them warm up, hoping to get rid of the cold feeling that was creeping up them. “In my reality, John sacrificed himself for Dean, he went to hell, and he came back only to tell him how proud he was before floating off to heaven, so having John up and moving about is really starting to throw off my game.”

“There’s a lot about this timeline, about this Sam and Dean that isn’t like your boys.”  Cas replied.

“That’s just it, these two, the ones out there in the real world, the ones holding my body, those are MY boys now. The others are just Sam and Dean from the show, these two, with all their scars and their darkness, they are mine, Cas, just like you.” He stood, taking a few steps from the bench and then turned to face me.  “Wanna tell me why you weren’t there, why I’m probably lying dead in the arms of a man I love, while the other one falls apart, while my sister is mourning the loss of yet another loved one? Why didn’t you come to save me?”

“You didn’t ask,” he whispered and stretched out a hand to me. I shook my head, pretty pissed off and irritated that he was so blunt about it, but I reached out and took hold of his outstretched hand.  With a sigh, I stood and darkness closed in once again.

~~~~~

The warmth hit my face, but it was still only blackness, I could almost feel my toes, which was probably a good thing since the last I knew they were frozen solid, and I know that there wasn’t a hard, concrete floor beneath me anymore but a bed.

I could hear breathing, uneven, shuddered breaths beside me and I wanted so desperately to open my eyes and take the hand of the man who sat there. 

“Dean,” Sam’s soft voice whispered and the breathing changed.  “It’s been four hours, why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll stay with her.”

“I can’t,” he answered, his voice full of emotion.  “I can’t do it, Sammy, I can’t leave her.”

“She’s not going anywhere,” Sam reassured him and I could hear the emotions bubbling in his voice too, but he was trying to be strong for Dean, trying and failing.

“I promised to protect her, I swore that no matter what she did, I was going to keep her safe, and I failed… I failed at the one thing that I was supposed to do.”  Dean’s voice quivered as he sniffled.  “She told me to protect Danni first, and I did, Sammy, I did everything I could to protect Danni, but I let her go, I let this happen to her.”

“You didn’t,” Sam sighed, and I felt the bed shift with his weight.  His hand came down on my leg, which told me that Dean was up by my head, leaning in staring at me.  “Listen, Dean, I shouldn’t have left her alone, I should have stayed with her, this is my fault.”

Oh, how I wish I could open my eyes and look at them, and probably knock their heads together with a few bats...maybe a couple wrapped with barbed wire. Yeah, these two were just going to beat themselves up about something that just couldn’t be controlled.

“Have you tried Cas?” Sam whispered. Yes! That was a perfect idea, since I had just left the winged pain in the ass. 

Dean sighed, “about six times now.”

“Try again,” Danni spoke up, entering the room, or I assumed she entered since I was still lying there unable to move about. “He promised he would help, but you don’t have faith in him that you should, maybe that’s why it’s not working.  I don’t know what happened between you and him, Dean, and I don’t care, but you try and call him again, because that is what Ali would want you to do.”

“Fine,” he snapped, and I listened as the fight went out of him.  “Cas?” He started, then cleared his throat, “oh, Castiel, angel of the Lord, we call on you to come and help out Ali in our time of need.” There was a pause, and oh how I wanted to smile because I was sure that he had just popped one eye open to look around.  “Come on, Cas, stop being a dick and…”

The flutter of wings invaded the space around me and I knew the room we were in was small, and getting more crowded by the minute as one more person, angel, appeared.

“Hello Dean,” Cas’ voice shook me every time I heard it, but this time there was more emotion in it.

“Really, six...seven times of calling you and you’re going with hello?”  Dean questioned, and I felt the air move as he rose.  “Where the hell have you been, man?  I... we’ve been worried sick!”

“I’m sorry, but other things have been a priority.”

“A priority, bigger than Ali, bigger than the promise you made to be there for her?” 

“I was there,” he answered and heard him come closer. 

Sam stood, moved and the bed shifted again, this time an arm came across me, and I could almost feel the weight of the body that hovered above.  The tips of two soft fingers pressed against my forehead and I waited.  Suddenly, like someone had tossed me in an oven and cracked the heat, fire spread through every nerve, coursing through every vein and I clenched my teeth as I felt the skin around the hole that the vamp’s teeth made begin to close.

It was agonizing, and something worse than childbirth but I endured it even while I was screaming inside.  When the fire subsided, when the pain faded away, I was able to open my eyes, and I did so with dramatic flair, opened them wide and drew in a deep breath, arching up against Cas’ fingers as I did so before I lay back on the bed and tried to catch said breath.

I swallowed hard and looked around, at the worried and shocked faces of the three in the room before my eyes settled on Castiel’s.  The angel smiled, ran those two fingers down along my cheek before he released me and back away.  Dean crowded the bed, his eyes scanning mine as he lifted away the bandage, and I watched as his gaze snapped up towards Sam, who came over and looked down at the wound as well.

“It’s gone,” he whispered, meeting Danni’s eyes as Dean leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, his hand pressing back my hair.  Dean back away as Sam came forward, kissing me lightly on the lips as he smiled, and then made room for Danni, who had a pissed off look on her face. “Cas,” Sam stopped, which caught everyone’s attention and Danni backed away, letting me see that once again, the room only held the four of us.  “Well, thank you wherever the hell you went.”

“I think he went back to your dad,” I answered, and all three sets of eyes rested on mine.  “Cas is protecting him, like he promised he would do.”

“How do you know? And how does that make it any better that he practically let you die?”  Dean questioned and I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my lips.  “What the hell, Ali?”

“He didn’t almost let me anything, Dean.  He took me somewhere safe, he healed what he could there, repaired what he couldn’t here.” I whispered and I knew what I said sounded absolutely insane, not exactly sure about how I knew why we were at the park in my mind but I did know one thing, everything, every little spot of darkness that I had ever thought I held inside me was gone.  Cas did that.  “He brought me back here, and waited for you to do the one thing you needed to.”

“Yeah, and what was that? Kick his ass?”  Dean growled and I watched the confused but angered expression on his face.

“Ask for help,” I grinned and glanced over at Sam, who was also smiling.  “Cas loves you, Dean, just like he loves Sam and he was just waiting for you to ask for help instead of demanding answers all the time.”  I slowly sat up, letting Danni help me to move back against the headboard.  “And stop kicking yourself, no matter what you thought you could have done to protect me, you really couldn’t.  We would have ended up in the same spot no matter which way the coin dropped.”

“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” Dean sighed.

“What? Easy for you to kick yourself down, no way in hell!”  I reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him down to the bed.  When he was close enough, I brushed my fingers along the scar on his cheek.  “You’ve done enough kicking to last a lifetime, Dean, both of you have, but you have to understand that there are just some things you can’t control, Winchester or not.”

“God, where did you come from?” He smiled and moved forward, kissing me on the forehead before he gave Danni a quick kiss on the lips and disappeared from the room.

“You scared the hell out of him,” she smiled but watched after him as he turned the corner toward the kitchen.

“Hey, how did you know where we were?”  I asked and watched as Sam sat down on the end of the bed, also looking at Danni for the answer to this.

“Dean’s a genius, he just doesn’t like to show it.” She winked and took a breath. “We were headed back into the garage, the fire was dying down, the wind was picking up but when we got there, you were both gone.  We searched every spot we could think of to find you but you weren’t there and Dean started to freak out, until he remembered the GPS locator on Sam’s phone.” I rolled my eyes and smiled as I watched Sam shake his.  “We followed you straight to the hospital, but Dean didn’t want to call, not if it meant that it would put you in harm’s way in case you were hiding, so we waited until you called, by then we were already up the stairs.”

Danni stood, kissed me on the top of the head, not that I was understanding the reasoning behind it, since Dean had started it and now Danni was doing it, but she got up after that and quietly left the room, probably to go and track down her Winchester.

Sam moved, crawling up to lay against the wall as he pulled me close.  Finally, a bed to share, at least for a little while.  He snuggled down so he was lying flat, his feet hanging off the end of the full-sized bed and his arm curled under me, rolling me so my head lay tucked up against his chest. His cheek was against me and I felt him smile, the way his cheeks turned up.

“You smell like Dean.”  He joked and I poked him in the side with my knuckles. 

“You smell like heaven.”  I replied and turned my face up so that his lips were a breath from mine.  “If heaven was a man that I could keep forever.”

“We already talked about that, and you said there were two choices, follow you home, or go with my brother in order to keep you safe.” He sighed, turned more towards his side so he wasn’t craning his neck and his hand ghosted down my cheek.  “Can’t I have both?”

“I love you, Sam.” I whispered, not holding back any more, not letting something like death, or a vampire stop me from feeling.  I told him how I felt and I didn’t care if he felt the same or not, I needed to follow my heart.

“I love you too, Ali,” he said sweetly, softly as his lips brushed mine before he back away and drew in a deep breath.  “So, what do we do now?”

“Same plan as before,” I closed my eyes, curling every part of me against him that I could.  “I have to go home to my kids, you have to follow your path,” I turned my head up towards him and watched as his eye landed on him. “No matter what, those paths will always lead us back to each other, just like it led us here.”

“Gag!” Dean’s voice interrupted and I turned on the bed to look at him as he stood in the doorway, leaning against as he crossed his arms.  “You two really need some quality alone time, but…” he entered the room and sat down on the bed behind my knees, “not right now, burgers are cooking, let’s go!”

“Where are we going, Dean?”  I sighed as he smacked me on the ass and wiggled his eyebrows.

“The grills on, and I’m starving and Danni said I couldn’t eat until your happy ass was out there with us, so get up, change, do what you got to do but hurry up, because I’m famished!” He answered, stood and exited the room just as quickly as he came in.

“Okay,” I smiled and Sam just shook his head.

 ~~~~~

I didn’t think I would have an appetite, at least not after everything that had gone on, but Dean was a great cook, and apparently, as he told us several times a “master at the grill”, and I found that I could handle eating two burgers.  We sat around the table that the boys managed to set up and enjoyed a strange peace, one that I had only felt on and off for a few days, but it seemed to blanket everything right at that moment.

When things were done, when the boys had their beers and their laughs, when Danni and I had cleaned up what we could, because “cleaning the grill was a man’s job”, again according to Dean.  I decided to wash up, knowing that for the moment, and no matter how much I thought otherwise it wouldn’t leave that phrase, that I was safe.

Showered, changed and hair brushed out and back in a ponytail, I walked out into the sunny Oklahoma day, the sun assaulting my eyes as I blinked to adjust as I scanned for the bodies that had gone quiet.  There was that moment, that flash of fear when I started looking for signs of monsters, but that was also when I spotted her, a little ways down the drive, leaning against the wooden fence, one leg up on the lower rung while her arms rested on the one above.

I walked over, taking my time, actually being able to enjoy the place that surrounded me for the first time, and I was saddened by the fact that this whole trip had come to this.  This one short span of time when I wasn’t the target for something that was out to get me was all I had to get things right.  I stood close to her, smiling as the horses made their way by, in some game of chase they seemed to be the only ones playing and I looked at Danni, leaning on the fence as she did but with the opposite leg up.

I thought about what to say for a few minutes, trying to get the right words in my head together but there was just enough time to say screw it before I blurted something out.

“You doing okay?”  Great, now I sounded like Dean! 

Danni turned to me, a smile on her face but tears in her eyes and she shook her head.  This would have been those “big hug” moments but the only thing I did was slide closer so our shoulders touched.  She didn’t move for the hug and I didn’t seem to offer either so we sat there for a moment more and all I could picture was Sam and Dean with a beer in their hands, leaning against Baby.

“If I said yes, would you believe me?”  She asked, and glanced over at me as I turned back to the field.

“Hmm, probably not,” I shrugged and she smiled. 

She sighed, took a moment to get her thoughts in order and the smile faded. “I lost my husband the other night, and I don’t think it’s really sunk in as much as it should, or maybe it’s that Cas told me that he at least didn’t have to endure whatever Azeel did to him that gives me a kind of comfort, but I know I should feel more, but right now I’m so numb,” Danni admitted.  “We weren’t good for a while, and by that, I mean we had our issues, no matter how we played the cards in front of people, but there is no way I wanted to lose him, and certainly not like that.”

I had nothing to say to that, I had never lost a spouse, at least not by death and the one I lost by divorce was still alive and being a pain in my ass, so it wasn’t anywhere close to the same.  She turned her head to me, wearing a frown.

“I have no idea what I feel or what to feel about Dean, or the fact that I’ve never been alone, I mean really alone.  I’ve always had Wayne, always, and now I have no one, except a man that does...well, I’m not really sure what he does to me,” she grinned, but again it faded.  “He was supposed to be my hall pass, you know that one pass you got if he should ever happen to show up in your life, but really, the real Dean Winchester wasn’t ever supposed to show up. What do I do with that, about how I feel about him, and what the hell does he feel for me?  We’re not like you and Sam, we’ve never really talked about it except that he can’t keep his hands to himself.”

“I think it’s more than that, Dan,” I whispered and let the little grin cross my face.  “You don’t see the way he looks at you, there is definitely something more there, but Dean just isn’t good with his emotions, hell no one of us really are.”

She nodded, and I didn’t expect her to go on, but her eyes turned up to the sky and I watched as she narrowed them against the sunshine, letting the warmth of it fill her before she exhaled and brought her head down to look at her hands.

Very quietly, she continued, “I almost lost my sister last night,” she sighed and I turned, my eyes meeting hers. “And by sister, I actually mean possibly related. What the hell is up with that?”

“Yeah, good stuff to know, right, I mean if you believe a couple demons and an angel.” I smirked.  “I knew everything was too weird not to have some connection.  But hey, now we know why your mom said we look alike, we even have the same little smirk, you know when the corner of your mouth doesn’t go all the way up.”

“I noticed that too, but just thought it would be too odd to throw that on the fire.”  She grinned. “This week has probably been the weirdest, most exciting and emotional one in my life.”

“Yeah and it all started at a waffle house at 8:43 at night. Damned Winchesters.”  I laughed.

“Sam really knocked on your door about a headlight?” I nodded, a smile wide on my face.  “And, Dean, what was he like when you first met.”

“Damn near intolerable, kind of like now.” I was the one that looked away this time. “Dean was... intense, protective, bossy, but gentle in a way.  His need for contact, touching, always touching…” My gaze found hers, “I’m sorry if he never stops, and I’m sorry to say that I can’t make him.  There’s something there, between Dean and I, just a connection but nothing that will ever come between you and him.”

“The problem isn’t coming between me and him, it’s getting between _you_ and him.  He would stop a bullet for you.”

“And I don’t know why except that we’re family, as much as that sounds like a corny excuse, he was the one who said it.  I told him that you are priority one, nothing before you.”  I sighed and rubbed my hand across my lips, “he’s mule-headed and irritating, but Danni, he only wants only you.”

“I get that, I really do, and I’ll get past the _need_ part of your connection, I will but it will take some time.” Danni focused on the horses, the subject of Dean suddenly dropped because I knew her emotions were running high. 

“Where are our boys anyway?”

“Watching us from the garage, or at least I assume that’s what one of them is doing,” I turned my sights to the house across the field and noticed the door open.  “They’re going to straighten it out, clean it up and bring Baby down here, oh and that arrived while you were Cas napping.”  She gestured to the car in the driveway, the small red one that was parked off to the side, thinking I hadn’t caught her little poke at the angel, and I tilted my head at the car. “Dean says it’s good as new.”

“Huh,” I shook my head and looked at her, “think I should look it over?”

Danni shrugged, “it runs, has all its tires and no vamp guts on it, but maybe you should check it for arrow scratches.”  

“As long as It gets me back so I can drop it off, I think I’m good.”  My eyes turned to the field, at a loss for word.  There had been so much more I wanted to say to her, so much I wanted to apologize for but at that moment, I couldn’t think of it, and I couldn’t think of the right way to say it. So, I went with something else.  “You know, we never really did play our Wednesday out, you know, the like rest of the days.”

“Yeah, it was supposed to be a sit and relax kind of day before you headed back,” I heard the sadness in her voice and that one statement sobered me up.

I was leaving in the morning, and I felt like the week with her hadn’t even started.  Sure, we were together all the time, we had our talks, we had our adventures, but we also had two things that we didn’t expect to have. Sam and Dean.  Our week had been used to explore the men who had fallen into our lives, or at least through my own window, and escape from our demons, which had left us with more questions than answers.

“So I was thinking,” I spoke quietly and cleared my throat, “when I get back home, I think I’m going to dig a little deeper into Gram’s side of the family, see just how ‘darkside’ the family lines goes and...ah, I was wondering if you could do the same.”

“You want me to delve into a shady past where my grandmother was a witch and made a pact with a devil-horned crossroads demon?”  She smiled at me and I gave her a small shrug.

“Yeah, kinda,” I watched as her grin widened and she gave me a nod.

“All right, it might take a bit, it is on my Dad’s side of the family.”

“I’m sure whatever you get will help, I mean names and dates, hell, I’m sure I can figure out when and where from the information you have on when your family lived up there.” Danni turned and looped her arm through mine as we left the fence and headed out past the house, walking through the open field.  “What are you going to do with Wayne?”

“Dean’s going to help me bury him later, I mean, you know, the ash and stuff,” she whispered as we walked staring up at the sky.  Her eyes brimmed with tears, which she quickly wiped away and cleared her throat.

We ventured on in silence, something easily slipped into when we were on the phone.  Neither of us had to keep communicating, we just knew that the other one was still there, doing whatever it was we needed to do, so even now, while we walked together, so much left unsaid, we knew it was right.

Things had a way of coming full circle, any questions we needed answered would do so in their own time.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever been stuck between a rock and a hard place. Well that's where I am, I put my foot in my mouth and now I can't do anything but stick with the plan, right?

Chapter 28

I stepped out of the house, two beers in one hand, two sodas (both with whipped vodka) in the other, handed Danni her glass as she sat on Dean’s lap, handed Dean’s his as he tried to untangle his hand from her hair, which I assumed he was playing with, and he gave me a wink before I stepped by, sitting by Sam on the stairs to the deck.

The sun, still high enough in the sky, lit up the clouds with a pink hue, one that told me that tomorrow was going to be warm, a great day to drive, but in the same instance it reminded me of the woman who stood before the fire, the light from the flames glowing in her eyes and I shivered.  Sam’s hand rested on my leg, a touch that made me jump and I took a sip of the vodka and Coke before setting it down.

“Ali,” he whispered, leaning close to my ear, “you okay?”

I smiled at him, putting on that fake charm and nodded. “Yeah, I guess I’m still jumpy, you know, waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“You might be like that for a while, kind of comes with the territory.”  Sam replied and his hand slipped around to rest against my neck and shoulders.  “Don’t worry,” he winked, “I’ll protect you.”

_Until tomorrow night, at least._ I thought to myself and bit down on my lip, nodding but I cleared my throat and stood.  “Excuse me, I’ll… I’ll be right back.”

My feet moved faster than my brain, bringing me right over to that same spot that Danni and I had stood at before and I drew in several deep breaths as I placed both hands on the wood, leaning my head down as I shut my eyes tightly.

A hand on the small of my back had me standing straight before I could think and I whirled in the direction it had come from, my hand instantly going for the Walther tucked in my belt, but I focused in on Danni as she stood with her hands up.

“Easy there, tiger,” she laughed as I relaxed and dropped my arms to the side. “What’s going on? You took off like a bat outta hell.”

“Sam,” I whispered, almost moaning his name. “I told Sam I loved him.”

“And that’s a bad thing because…?”

I struggled to find words, even form them in my head as the tears started to stream down my face. “Because in the same breath I told him that he had to stay with his brother.”

“Oh, I see,” she said softly.

“No, no, you don’t not really, I mean, I know you understand but, Danni… God, what did I do?” I backed away from her, before turning and heading out further away from the house. 

She followed me instinctually; probably more due to the fact that I had just gone toe-to-toe with a vampire than anything else but she was there, a couple well-placed paces behind just in case.  I stopped dead, looking out into the fading light and though I knew there were things around me, I never saw a thing, just the memories of the past five days flying at me from every direction and I let the strength go out from my legs, sending me to the ground, where I sat back on my heels.

I heard her stop, not two steps behind me as I stared at nothing, breathing, or trying to breath as my mind focused on Sam. The way he felt, the sound of his voice, the smell of his skin and the way he kissed, demanding, claiming, and also soft and loving, as the tears flowed down my cheek. 

I had allowed myself the one thing I swore I wouldn’t do again, not after the train wreck that I had endured, not after so many heartbreaks.  I had let him in, and it wasn’t even intentional, wasn’t planned, but there it was.  Sam was ingrained so deeply in me that I would never be able to separate where one of us began and the other ended, but I couldn’t keep him, not with any certainty.  He was a hunter, born, trained and unable to change, and I knew this because there would be no way I could if I were him.

I was a gypsy in my own right, moving from place to place, never staying still but there was a difference between Sam and I, besides the whole “supernatural” aspect of our worlds, which apparently wasn’t a difference at all, but I had children, and I had made them a promise.

A stupid, reckless, heartbreaking promise!

I wouldn’t be with anyone, wouldn’t bring someone home, _wouldn’t_ involve my kids with any man until my youngest had graduated.  Stupid right, but at the time I had made it, I was terrified, heartbroken and ready to swear off love forever because of the way that they had been treated, and the powers that be had heard me.

Until now.

Until Sam.

Now what do I do? My heart had been taken by a man who hunted monsters for Pete’s sake and not just any man, but one that had started out as a doppelganger of the one I knew, or at least watched on a show that was produced somewhere in British Columbia. That one man had broken the barriers that I had put up to protect myself and his brother had helped.

“Ali,” Danni whispered and I drew in a deep breath, my lungs shaking with emotion as I did but I didn’t answer her.  “Ali, you got to talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I answered, and honestly it was the closest to the truth that I could have gotten because right then, even with as many thoughts as there were going through my head, I truly didn’t know what to say.

“You love Sam, but you have children at home, I know, we’ve talked about this, but what are you going to do?” I sat there for a moment, taking in her words but said nothing in reply.  “Ali, can you really let him go?”

“I have to,” I whispered and let my head fall forward, the heaviness inside taking over.  “To protect myself, to protect Sam, I have to let him go and we’ll work around it, I know we will.”

“Why?” She questioned and I heard her move to sit in front of me, her hands cupped my cheeks as she lifted my chin so our eyes met. “Why do you have to let him go to protect him?”

“Because Cas didn’t get rid of all of the darkness, Danni, not really.” I admitted and she looked at me completely confused. 

“I think you’re tired, you’re not making sense.” I closed my eyes, yes, tired was exactly what I was but that wasn’t the reason for it.  I felt her hands slid to the edge of my jaw and through tears I could see the shock on her face.  “You don’t honestly think that you’re evil, do you?”

“Demons, vampires, witches,” I laughed sarcastically, “does that sound particularly righteous to you?”  I put my hands on hers and drew them away from my face, looking up at her.  “I’ve been plagued by the supernatural since I was a child, how is that fair to him? He needs someone that isn’t tarnished by this crap, that’s so far away from this life that he could be out of it forever.  He doesn’t need me…”

“No,” Sam whispered from behind me, “but I want you,” he admitted and I squeezed my eyes tightly as the tears came faster. I felt Danni’s hands slip from mine as Sam knelt down in front of me, his hands resting on my shoulders before he gathered me up and pulled me towards him.  “I want you with everything I have, every ounce of my soul and I love you! Honestly, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything before.”

“Jessica,” I whispered, and felt his chest heave at her name, but he let the breath out slowly.

“I’ll never stop loving her,” he answered, “but that doesn’t mean anything, you’re not Jess, you’re Ali and I’m never going to let you go.”

I pushed back from him and stared into his eyes. “Sam, you can’t…”

“I know, and I get it, so we’ll work something out, but right now, for tonight and tomorrow night, it’s just going to be us,” he touched my cheek with the tips of his fingers, “so let’s just be us, no one else, nothing else, just...us.”

I took a breath, letting all the emotion drain from my body as I nodded and felt his arms wrap around me once more. My eyes wandered up to connect with Danni, who gave me a half smile as she knelt down and stroked a hand down the back of my head.

Tomorrow was going to be awful.

~~~~~

The lights that flickered by overhead, reflecting off the glass of the window. The way they passed by like the beat of the music on the radio. The darkness beyond them, the way the light reflected off the snow, I knew this dream.

The sound of a truck speeding by, the darkness that surrounded me, the headlights of the oncoming car.  The swerve of the road, the screeching of tires and the sound of the front end impacting what felt a brick wall, until the cold water started to swirl around me.

My chest was tight, the water was rising, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get the seatbelt undone as I tilted my head back as far as I could go.  I remembered the lights before my eyes, the way that the headlights on the car suddenly flickered and went out. The darkness closed in, the cold tightened every muscle in my body, there was no way out, no way to the surface. 

Water filled my lungs as I gasped for air.  There was nothing to grasp onto, my fingers had all but gone numb.  There was nothing I could do. My body was going into shock, there was no way out of this, and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t get way. Why was the water coming in so fast, why couldn’t I breath? I wanted to live, I wanted to go home, I wanted… my mother. I felt the weight of something press down on my stomach, the belts I wrestled against snapped away, releasing my body from the confines of the seat and I felt fingers grasp around my arm, my tiny, tiny arm.  I was pulled through the smashed passenger’s -side window, up towards the light, up towards the surface.  And when I finally broke through, finally found the way to breathe…

I sat up quickly, blinking away the pain, the strange cold sensation that made my toes tingle and my hands feel thick, and as I flexed them, began to get feeling back through those foreign feeling objects at the end of my palms, I realized that I wasn’t alone.  Sam lay beside me, still sound asleep and I slipped from the covers, felt the floor under my bare feet and headed out the door.

My mind went in a thousand directions, but I couldn’t get off the dream and why had it changed, why was it different, it had always been the same. The dirt below my feet was grainy and cold, and dug into my soles as a reminder to stay planted, but my mind couldn’t break free.

I ran my hands through my hair, trying to stop moving, to get it straight, when suddenly hands wrapped around my arm yet again. This time turning me in the direction of a person and I watched my eyes flash between Dean’s face and a man that looked so much like him. The hand on my arm, Dean’s hand, became a giant one wrapped around my skinny arm and I was flashed back to that night.

It wasn’t a dream, it was a memory.

The water was freezing, the waves from the ripples hit me like a thousand tiny shards of glass but before I knew it I was sitting on the shore, just beyond the guardrail, and bright blue light were heading way.  The splash shook me as smaller hands covered me with a thick white towel.  I looked up, flashes of green against the headlights of the car stared down at me and a boy with dirty blond hair knelt down.

“Stay here, keep wrapped up, it’s okay my dad will save your parents. He’s a superhero,” was all he said as he pulled the towel tighter, and then walked away. 

My eyes were drawn back to the water as the man dragged my mom up, and went back to grab my dad.  No one else was in the car, I don’t remember where my siblings went but I knew that there was just the three of us. When both Mom and Dad lay beside me, I watched the man lean down and check their necks, put his ear to their mouths and look up in fear as the sirens started to approach. 

He came to me, did the same thing the boy did and tugged the towel tighter, before he looked at me with thoughtful brown eyes.  His hand came up to my cheek and his brows raised as he smiled, kissed my head and moved quickly back to the black car that idled some ways away.  I listened to the door close and the engine rumbled as it took off into the night.

“Ali?” Dean’s voice broke through and I could see the blue lights grow closer before fading away and I was staring at the concern in his eyes.  His hands were against my face, cupping my cheeks and I reached up placing my palm on the warmth of his.  “What are you doing out there? Where’s Sam?”

I licked my lips, chasing away the dryness and drew in a deep breath, thanking whatever was above that there was no water blocking it. “Sam’s asleep,” I whispered, “I had a dream, I was drowning.”

“That one again?” he pulled me in closer, wrapping his arms around me as I tucked mine to his chest, just wanting to be surrounded by his warmth.  “What’s up with you and that dream.”

“It’s a memory,” I whispered and his lips pressed against my hair, making me think of the man.  “I was seven, maybe eight, and the car went off the road, into the river. Before I thought it was me that got out, but a man reached in and pulled me out, left me on shore before going to get my parents.  How was he not freezing?  A boy gave me a towel, something from a hotel I think, told me to keep warm.”

Dean’s arms tightened, but he didn’t say anything as he placed his cheek on the top of my head, replacing his lips and I felt him sway a little, as if he were trying to rock me gently. I didn’t say anymore, I didn’t want to, I just wanted it to go away.

“You can’t leave,” he admitted softly, and I felt his chest expand as he drew in a breath, before releasing it through clenched teeth, “I can’t let you.”

“I have no choice, I have to get back to my kids.” I pushed back so that I could look up at him.  “Dean, please, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“How am I supposed to let you go?” He smiled, but I could see the pain in it.

“You’re not letting me go, Dean,” I set my fingertips against his face and let them slide down his jaw.  “I’m going, and you’re staying here.”

“What?” he seemed shocked at the order.

“Danni needs you, and I know you need her too, I can see it in your eyes.  She needs the protection, I mean come on, Crowley sent his hound here to protect her because she was the vulnerable one, not me.” I tried to reason with him but I could see the conflict.  “She can’t be alone, and you need to make sure she stays safe.”

“I know,” he whispered and sighed, “I know.”

“Listen,” I smiled, grabbing ahold of that over shirt, a maroon one that he seemed to love to wear over his black tee-shirt and I pulled him close, as he leaned his head down. I let my forehead rest against his and drew in his scent. Aftershave, deodorant, body wash, the smell of his car and just under it, the hint of the American Spirits that was left on him, pure Dean. “If you were to show up at my door, out of the blue, I wouldn’t ever turn you away, do you understand? Open invitation, for you, Sam and Danni, always.”

“You do realize that an invite like that would mean I’m living in your basement.” he grinned and I shook my head.

“As long as you can deal with three rowdy teenagers and “hacker central” when the rest of the bunch is over.”

“You’re kidding, right? Have you met my brother?”  Dean’s laugh shook his body, but didn’t make much noise, “I live with hacker central, and don’t be surprised if Sammy pings everything you own.” His smile faded. “Take him with you.”

“We already talked, Dean, he’s going with you.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “You need to find Cas, need to find your dad and you can’t do that without your brother.  You want to keep me safe, find out why Crowley wants Danni and I for whatever the hell this bloodline reason is and then come and get me. Once we have the pieces together, then we can take it on, but Dean, you need to stay with Danni.”

“I get it,” he mumbled, not very happy with my choice but he turned me in his arms, pressing his body against my back and moved us towards the house. “In we go, before both Sammy and Dan come out here looking.”

“Afraid to get caught?” I laughed as he let me go to open the door.  His green eyes looked down at me and he gave me a wicked grin.

“Afraid to get shot,” he answered, pulling the door open as he gave me a gentle push inside.

~~~~~

The sound of mugs clanking together, of bodies moving in the other room and the aroma of coffee that filled the air drew me from the dark depth of the dreamless sleep I had finally found after Dean led me to the room, practically pushed me into bed and literally put Sam’s arm around me before he kissed my head and tucked me in.  All very big-brother, protective and needy like, but it was sweet and it didn’t take long to find with the warmth of the man curled up behind me, the warmth that was gone in the morning light of the sun.

Flopping over in the bed, I happened to glance at the bags that were packed by the door, the only thing out was my clothes for that day and I let out a huff.  What the hell time was it, and why was everyone else awake?  I looked up at the door, feeling the eyes on me and smiled as Sam stood there, braced against the doorsill, cup of coffee in one hand, the other tucked in his jean pockets.

“Morning,” he grinned.

“Ugh!” I grabbed the pillow, the one he had used and covered my head with it, enjoying the scent of him, but it was pulled away as the sun blazed in on me.  I turned, my eyes narrowing at the man with the blue-green eyes and watched him smile. “You’re a pain in my ass!”

“Not until tonight.” He winked and leaned down, kissing me softly before backing away just enough so that we made eye contact again.

“Ooh, color me curious,” I smiled and let his lips brush mine again.  I just wanted to stay there, feel him on me, against me, in me but he grabbed my shirt and gently pulled me to a sitting position before he sat down on the bed beside me. “Ut-oh, I know that face.”

Yeah, he had the “we need to talk” expression down to an art, but I watched as he just gave me a small shrug and shook his head a little.

“Only if you want to,” he replied as he tucked my hair behind my ear.  “But,” yep, I knew that was coming, “Dean did tell me about your dream, your memory last night.”

“I figured he would.”  I pushed the covers off and swung my legs out, standing up a bit too fast for what I should have and I felt Sam’s hand on the small of my back, steadying me. Winking at him, I closed the door and started to change.  He watched me intently and, his head doing that little side tilt that always told me he was paying pretty close attention and his tongue touched his lips as I button the top of my jeans, facing him without a top. “So, what exactly did he tell you?”

“That you realized it was something from your childhood,” he shrugged, “and that he was worried because before you had been an adult in it.”

“So, what is he thinking, premonition?”  I questioned, grabbing the loose tank that I had dug out of the bag and slipped it on over my bra.  Sam gave me a sly smile and shook his head.

“I don’t know, I’m not sure what exactly he was thinking, I just know that it worried him.”  Sam clenched his jaw, his lips thinned in a line and his brows furrowed together with worry.  “He also said something that kind of struck a chord.”

“With you two, it would surprise me if it didn’t strike one,” I smiled and sat beside him on the bed, “and, what was it?”

“He said you mentioned a boy with a towel, a hotel towel,” Sam sat up a bit straighter, his thinking position as he went through all of the information in his head, just before he came to a conclusion that would break the case wide open.  “Was it white?”

“Most hotel towels are,” I smiled and watched his eyes as he looked down at me. 

“More specifically, was it white with an “H” embossed in white in the corner?”  I sat back a little bit, that was exactly what it looked like, and I knew because I kept it forever, not really remembering where it came from but I knew that it meant something special to me.

“How did you know that?” I stood from the bed, his hand reached out to grab mine but he didn’t pull me back down as he kept his gentle hold on my fingers.

“The Howard Johnson in White River Junction, Vermont,” he whispered and I quickly snatched my hand from him.

“Wait,” I swallowed, trying to catch my breath, “how do you…” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “how did you know where it happened?”

“Because the man that pulled you from the car,” he whispered, “that was my dad, that was John.”

“And the boy?” I swallowed back the strange feeling in my stomach as if I were about to be sick, but as soon as I did, I remembered his eyes. “Oh, my God,” I blinked back a tear, “that was Dean.”

Sam took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as I covered my mouth with my hands, letting the knowledge of what he said sink in. 

“Dad wrote it in his journal,” he whispered.  “We were in Vermont for some vengeful spirit thing, Bobby couldn’t take us so Dad took us along. I remember staying at a Howard Johnson because even their cups had the hotel name on it.”

“You said it was in his journal, why? I mean besides the ghost thing, why would the accident be there?” I whispered.

“Because of what Dean said after when we were driving away,” Sam paused and I shook my head, just waiting on an answer.  “He said we needed to go back, that he needed to get back to you.”

I stopped dead as I paced the room, my breath quickened and I shook my head.  Dean said that? The Dean in the other room, the one that was two years younger than me? The turning in my stomach told me that this was too much for my brain to handle and I leaned back against the door.

“Why did he say that?”  I didn’t really want to know, did I? I mean there isn’t anything good that could possibly come out of Dean saying something like that at his age, especially with what he was doing now, not being able to let go, needing just as much. “Sam! What the hell did Dean say?”

Sam looked down at his hands and then back up at me, as if the information was something he wasn’t sure he wanted to share, but he took a deep breath and stood. I held fast as Sam put his hands on my shoulders, his fingers digging gently into my neck, trying to loosen the stress there.

“The dog with the red eyes was too close to you and it growled at him when he gave you the towel.” Sam whispered, as if he had looked at those words a hundred times, quoting them in a child’s voice.

Dog with red eyes? I thought to myself, my breathing becoming labored and I remembered listening to the police as they checked my parents at the back of the ambulance. Mom said they were avoiding a dog when the other car swerved.  A dog with eyes that glowed red.

“Crowley,” I whispered softly and shook my head. “A hellhound?  We were run off the road by a hellhound?”

“I don’t know, honestly,” Sam sighed, caressing my cheek, trying to keep me calm, “that’s all that dad wrote.”

“Dean!” I said sharply and put my hands on his as his grasp got a little tighter.  “Dean would know.”

“No, Ali, Dean doesn’t remember.” I watched the worry in his eyes as they came to rest on mine.  “He doesn’t remember anything about that night, I don’t remember it either, it was so long ago.”

I shook my head, as the tears streamed down my face. How could I expect them, either of them to remember when I thought it was a memory myself? Feeling Sam’s thumb wiping away the moisture on my face, I took a deep breath and leaned into him, putting my head against his chest as he held me tight.

What a sucky way to start the day!


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when the road so far has lead you back to where it all started?

Chapter 29

The coffee was good, when I was actually able to pull away from Sam and go down to the kitchen to get some.  Dean was happily downing probably his second bagel of the day and I was almost surprised there wasn’t a pie stashed in some hiding spot where he could eat that too. I had slid in beside him, my thigh touching the length of his and he bumped me with it as he winked and took another bite.  Sam set the cup down in front of me, and it took me a moment of staring down at the steam before I came to my senses enough to make it the way I wanted.

Danni placed a muffin on a plate and slide it towards me, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to eat, in fact I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do anything besides go back to sleep, but the coffee was helping, at least as much as it could.  I didn’t know what to do next, I had to leave today but I couldn’t get things moving.

My eyes settled on the people around me.

Dean, whose knee bounced against my leg playfully as he grinned, fully into the muffin in his hand and I remembered that first glance, the one at the Waffle House and I realized just how different he looked to me now.  He was hard, dark and downright scary standing there with a blade in his hand after taking off the vampire’s head, the one that almost had me for lunch.  He was arrogant, and pushy and I could have punched him a few more times than I actually did for the way he seemed to take over my life, especially when he wouldn’t let me travel to Joplin alone.  Now… now he was lighter, just a little mind you, this side of the line, and he trusted and was semi-open, because we all knew that Dean Winchester was emotionally constipated, but here he was smiling at a damn muffin, something I never thought I would see.

Sam sat across from me, a light grin on his lips as he and Danni talked softly between themselves.  He was full of life, so trusting, at least with the two of us, because in any crowd, any situation he became that man I first met, the one with the cold as steel stare that didn’t blink twice about stabbing a blade through the gut of a monster.  He was the one that seemed so surprised when I fought back, as if he was used to taking on the world with only his brother, where no one protected themselves.  His doubt of letting someone in, his walls that he had built to keep the feelings out, to close off those emotions that he just didn’t understand, those were gone, and here, in front of me, was a man filled with love, compassion, which I always believed was there just under the surface, but he was still the silently overprotective one.

Danni was next, as she happened a glance over the rim of her mug, watching the emotions in my eyes.  This one I knew, this wild, energetic badass was everything I expected to get when we met for the first time and a thought occurred to me.  We really were family, whether some bloodline connected us, or our love for a show and its boys did, it didn’t matter now because we were far more linked than that and it was evident in her eyes as she stared at me, that big sister concern on her face that I had barely touched anything. 

The way she put herself between me and Sam at the rest stop, when he was in full blown Winchester fashion, running headlong into a fight that emotionally he wasn’t ready for, the stance she took when she held Dean back and let in on him for the argument that the two of us had, you know, that nice punch to his perfect jaw.  Yeah, I had come down here knowing we were sisters, but every action she took, even know with the hurt she was going through, cemented the knowledge that she would never be anything less than the “big sister”, the “older sibling”, the “protector”, and for that I was grateful and loved.

I cleared my throat, grabbed the mug and slipped from the table, making my way out into the Oklahoma morning air.  My little red rental car sat among two very important vehicles.  Danni’s Silver Escape, which brought the thought of the Lawrence trip to the forefront, and the Impala, where I could still feel the rumble of her engine in my heart.  Two inanimate object that had become home for a few days, a home that kept me safe when we weren’t off the road, when the nightmares sprung forth and when all I wanted to do was be alone.  And the Escape, it gave me the conversations with Danni, the small amount of time with Dean to curl up and be safe, and soon, it would give me Sam, as he followed me at least to London. It would make sure he returned safely to his brother.

I felt a light hand run from my neck, along my spine to the waist of my jeans and those fingers slipped around my waist, flattening out against my stomach as I felt Sam’s body press to mine. His breath warmed across my ear as his lips touched there ever so gently, sending a shiver through me.

“Hey,” he sighed, “it’s going to be all right.”

“None of this is all right, Sam,” I sighed.  “I know I have to go, but I can’t bring myself to put my crap in a car and start the engine.”  His lips danced down my neck, essentially relaxing every part of me and the thought of the hotel room without any older siblings interrupting ghosted to the forefront of my mind. “I might, however, be tempted to drag you off to the barn.”

“I might be up for that,” he whispered in a sultry voice, pulling me back against him so I could feel his thoughts on the matter. I turned in his arms and pressed my hands against his chest.

“As tempting as it sounds...and the visuals I’m getting of being all wrapped up in you, we need to get going soon, it’s a ten-hour drive to London.”

Sam’s hand came up, pressed against my cheek and he leaned down, brushing his lips against mine. The spark I felt, when the warmth of his mouth captured my lips, was enough to send shivers down my spine and I pushed the thoughts of having to leave him away, wanting nothing more than to enjoy this moment.  With a sigh, he inched away, leaning his forehead against mine as he stood, his thumb caressing my cheek.

“We should probably get going,” he spoke softly and kissed right between my eyes as he took a step back. 

“Yeah,” I answered breathless and full of emotion.  Sam released me to step inside, he was headed to the room to grab my bags when Danni stepped out onto the patio as Dean followed Sam into the room. She and I headed towards the car, where I popped the trunk and waited patiently. With my hands stuffed into my back pockets, I turned to her, the sadness swelling in her eyes.  “You know this really isn’t goodbye, right?”

She gave me a grin but I could see there was no way it was going to reach those blue orbs that were staring me down.  “So, what is it then, because it sure feels that way.”

“It’s talk to you later, it’s see you soon,” I moved towards her, reached out and wrapped my arms around her as I heard her sniffle and her hands came up to pull me closer, hold me tighter.  “It’s never goodbye Danni, it’s always “love ya Dean!” I felt her body tremble as she held back the sobs but she nodded on my shoulder.  “By the way, I know he’s staying here with you, but try not to kill each other.”

“I wish you wouldn’t take two cars,” she whispered in my ear as I closed my eyes, enjoying her embrace.

“How would Sam get back?” Danni pushed back on me at that very moment, the look of shock in her eyes as the humor flooded into her gaze.

“You’re kidding, right?”  She laughed, “he’s a Winchester, he’ll do what they do best.”

“What? Steal a car?”

“Improvise,” she winked and I couldn’t help but smile, yeah, he would probably hot wire a car to get back to Dean and ditch it somewhere far enough away to not bring attention but close enough for his brother to find him.  “I want to Skype tonight when the two of you get settled.” 

“I don’t see an issue with that, but you know with Sam in the car, the phone calls between us won’t be hours long right?” I laughed, thinking back to the beginning of the trip when we spent most of the ten hours checking in on each other.  Danni grinned and looked up at the two men that were now walking out of the house with my bags, and I bit the corner of my bottom lip.  “Something tells me that besides my check ins, you’ll be a little too busy to chat.”

“Oh, I plan on being very...very busy,” she smiled but turned back to me as she winked, “cleaning up your mess.”

“My mess, you think Dean Winchester is _my_ mess?”  I giggled and looked at the green-eyed man who had stopped at the sound of his name.  Sam just smiled, shook his head and moved onto the trunk, knowing that there was no way he was getting involved with anything that had to do with picking on Dean. “Personally, I think he came that way, but that’s just my opinion and my observation when I picked him up.” Dean glanced between the two of us, confused as Danni and I now stood side by side, like we had the night they pulled into Fred and Red’s parking lot.  “It kind of sucks actually, the manager said there was a no return policy on that one on account of his bad attitude.”

“Funny, I don’t see it,” Danni tilted her head a little, still looking at the older Winchester who rolled his eyes and moved towards the car, putting his backside to us, “oh, wait, yeah...I see it now.”

Sam dropped the bag in the truck, gave Dean a bit of a side smiled and watched his brother pick his head up, close the trunk lid and turn in our direction.  We found the six-foot tall man standing right in front of us in second, but he didn’t have us fooled any longer. There was no way _this_ Dean would ever touch either one of us, but he crossed his arms, trying to look stern.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?”  He questioned and Danni shook her head as I gave him a small frown and a short shrug.  “Really, because I think I could probably get the truth out of one of you without blinking.”

“Really,” I asked and smiled at Danni, raising my eyebrows.  “I think that was a challenge.”  I bumped her arm with mine and watched as she stuffed her hands in her pockets as she contemplated it for a moment.  “What do you think?  Think he could?”

“Please,” Danni grinned and looked at me, the two of us ignoring the stares of the one before us, “I could get him to say uncle before I caved any day.”

“Well, uncle wasn’t exactly what I was going to go with as far as what you could get out of him, but if that’s what you want him to call you…” I replied and watched the expression run off her face, as if it just melted into a frown and Sam chuckled over by the car. 

I glanced up at Dean and stepped forward, slipping my arms around his waist. I could almost feel his head roll on his neck as he sighed with annoyance and uncrossed his arms to wrap them around me. Once he touched me, as soon as his arms were solidly in place, they became just a tad bit softer, but more protective as if he didn’t want the embrace to end and I felt his cheek on my head as I leaned in against his chest, taking in the scent of him once last time before I left.

Dean’s lips were on my head, pressing down hard, as if branding me there, just before his hands came up and cupped my cheeks, lifting my head back to face him completely.  He leaned down, put those lips against my cheek and breathed against my skin.  I don’t know how he did it, or why, but that feeling of being safe, secure and completely surrounded always happened when he did that, just those little gestures and I expected him to pull away a lot sooner than he did.

With a shudder in his breath, he stepped back, one hand coming from my cheek to run down his face before he fully released me and managed to make eye contact, but I could see the emotional toll letting me go was taking.  Clearing his throat, he rested his hand on my shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze and stepped away, trying to put some distance between us. Confused and a little upset by the sudden distance, I took a breath myself and a moment to look around, before I turned to Danni and hugged her once more.

“Okay, we should get going,” Sam whispered as he approached, and Danni switched partners, hugging Sam tightly before he backed away and walked up to Dean.

“You okay?”  Danni questioned, I gave her a half-cocked smile, trying to play it off.

“Me?” I shrugged, “Peachy, ducky and all things feathered,” was the only thing I could come up with.  I was leaving her, I was leaving Dean, who had just walked away, and no I was far from okay, but I sucked it up and hugged her quickly before heading over to the driver’s side of the car.  I watched as Sam and Dean stepped a little further away, their heads together in what looked like a meeting of the minds before I glanced at Danni, who was yet again standing beside me.  “Think we need a crowbar?”

“Maybe a bucket of cold water,” she answered as far as thinking about separating the two, “things look like they could be getting heated.”

“We could just beat them,” I watched her smile but that was about the time that Dean backed away and Sam made his way over to the passenger’s seat, his eyes locked on his brothers.

Dean took a couple more deep breaths before he moved in any way besides a circle and suddenly he was almost on top of me. Those arms wrapped tightly around me, his hand at the back of my head as his other spanned my back.  I could feel his lips at my neck, not kissing, just resting and it sounded as if he were just breathing me in, which was fine because I would have given anything to have his scent etched into my brain.

I wanted to say so much, wanted to thank him, to tell him I loved him, to scold him about being safe but it all came out in one simple, whispered word. “Dean.”

“I’m trusting you with Sam, Ali, I’m trusting that you get him there safe and that you send him on his way back in the same condition.” he was full of shit because he wasn’t trusting me with his brother, he was trusting his brother to keep me safe, he just didn’t want to come off as a jerk.  “Promise me! Promise me that you’ll keep an eye on him, and that you’ll call if you get into trouble.”

“I promise,” I whispered and felt him draw in the deepest breath, his chest expanding against me. “Dean, you have to let me go.”

“I can’t.” He shivered, every muscle in his body fought him on letting go, but he slowly unwrapped his arms and dropped them to his side as his lips came up to brush pass my ear, four last words to say before he really let me go, “you smell like Sammy.”

I swallowed hard and looked up into those emotional eyes before he stepped over beside Danni and placed his hand gently on the small of her back.  I felt the tear slide down my face, as I looked at my sister, and then at the man behind her before slipping into the small red compact.  Sam followed suit, pushing the seat back to accommodate his long legs.

With a shaky hand, I started the car, turned and looked at the two in the driveway, and put it in gear, and look at the road ahead of me for a moment, before feeling Sam’s hand take mine gently.  I glanced over, watched him wink as he reached out and wiped the tear away, and then turned to the road, pulling out onto the drive, the long hall of a 733-mile trip ahead of us to the hotel in London where we met.

~~~~~

I never realized just how much one person could talk in the span of however many hours we were together between stops. Sam and I would start on one conversation and suddenly be onto the next without even a blink of an eye, but there were breaks for check-ins, ones between Sam and Dean, where the older of the two would call out of the blue to ask the strangest question, or you know “so get this” Sam, which was totally not a Dean thing.

There were check-ins with Danni that would go on for countless minutes about nothing but how the traffic was and what the hell the chicken was doing, just to keep that connection there for a few moments longer. All of it seemed surreal, like it wasn’t really happening at all, but just like the way the beginning of this adventure played out, none of this was supposed to happen at all.

Sometime down the road, the events of the night before caught up with me and Sam took over driving as I leaned the seat back, covered up with his large, warm coat, and caught some sleep.  It was strange this time, I didn’t wake up to the sounds of him having a “private” conversation with his brother, instead, it was to him singing an old Kansas song, one that he really didn’t seem to know the words too, but I recognized it instantly and smiled as I just let the sound of his voice fill my ears.

“ _Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think, I still was a madman,”_ the words floated through the air and relaxed me, but at the same time, they made me think of John. The man had saved my life as a child, but to what end? For me to grow up to be the one that helped destroy him, or whatever other demons Crowley had lying about. “ _Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade was the event of the season…”_

I listened to Sam’s words turn to humming as he seemed to drown out the music and I slowly drifted back into the light sleep I was in before.  A couple more hours and we should be almost there.  I was sure that Sam would make the check in while I slept, and I was grateful for it, because I was dead tired.

My dreams weren’t as pleasant as I would have liked, more like my mind’s way of dealing with everything that had happened those last few days and though I knew my body had remained still, my thoughts were restless.  In my dreams, Danni hated me for leaving her, Dean despised the fact that I hurt his brother and Sam… Sam wouldn’t even look at me, but it was the one in the distance, the figure in the dark that got my attention.

He stood towards the back of the dream, as if casually observing and even with all of the emotional turmoil that surrounded the contents of the dream, I smiled at his presence.  Walking past the images, the barrage of unending streams of consciousness, I watched as he came into focus. Dark blue suit, crazy crooked tie, his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and the ever stoic look on his face, which told me that yes, this was in fact Castiel and not a dream.

“Knocking would be appreciated,” I grinned as I stopped before him.

“I didn’t realize you could knock in a dreamscape,” he replied, a little confused, which only made my smile wider. “I’ll try to remember it for next time.”

“You plan on sneaking into my head again?” 

“It’s the easiest way to keep tabs on you from such a distance, yes.”

“Cas,” I whispered as I could see him visually becoming uneasy as if he had done something wrong, “chill out, I was just joking, you’re welcome in my head anytime… except maybe when I’m preoccupied with Sam.”

“Yes, I…” he cleared his throat, “I could see how privacy would be important at that point.”

“What brings you to my nightmare?”  I questioned, turning to glance at the three very pissed off people behind me, all three still going on with the anger issues, all of which were completely made up from my own insecurities and guilt.

“I wanted to check on you, but I realize that popping into a car with Sam driving might get me shot at.”  Cas admitted and I stuffed my hands into my pockets.  “I also wanted to let you know that I checked in on Danni.”

“Yeah, I have been too,” I replied but I watched him sigh in frustration, “oh you mean mentally.” He gave me a thin-lipped nod, “so?”

“While she seems to have accepted the role she plays in this whole scheme of things, I don’t think she truly believes in her importance,” he began to pace, something I had never seen the angel do before but I couldn’t take the back and forth motion, so I reached out a hand and grabbed his sleeve.  He looked at me sternly.

“You’re making me seasick.” I groaned.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“What do you mean her importance?”

“Ali, you and Danni have become part of something larger than what we ever had thought was possible and while you acknowledge just what has been going on in your life, Danni seems to have missed the signs.”

“What signs? You mean all the supernatural crazy crap that I’ve been through? Those kinds of signs?” He nodded and I crossed my arms, “and Danni has had this going on her whole life as well?”

“Things may have been more subtle for her but yes, the supernatural realm has always been with her, since well before your grandmothers’ performed that summoning spell.”

“Cas, what exactly are you getting at?”

“I believe it would be in your best interest to find out as much as you can about your past, yours and Danni’s.” 

“We had planned on that anyway,” I shrugged but the look on his face told me that there was more to what he was saying. “Cas, what is it that you aren’t telling me?”

He paused for a moment, giving me that feeling that he was debating on what to say but in the end, his angelic nobility won out.

“Do you remember the reason you were on your way home, passing through White River on the night that your car went into the water?”  I stared at him for a moment, wondering how he knew, but I just stood there, trying to find the words.

“I barely remembered it was even real last night, what the hell do you know Cas?”

“So, you don’t have any recollection of the events before the accident?”

“DUH!”

“Ali, you were on your way home from Danni’s father’s house.” I stepped back, wanting nothing more than to believe him but this was all just becoming too much too soon and way too fast.  What the hell was going on? 

“What?” I snapped.  “I didn’t even know Danni back then, exactly how were we coming back from her father’s?”

“You know the connection between your grandmothers.”

“Cas! Stop stating the obvious and get on with it!” 

“She’s your…” and with that the angel was suddenly gone, whooshed out like he was pulled from my thoughts.

“Cas?”  I turned in this evolving mind-screwed world, still seeing my loved ones yelling from a distance. “CAS!” I screamed and put my hands on my hips, now I got why Dean was so frustrated with him.  “Son of a bitch!”

With those words, I sat straight up in the car, the seatbelt automatically slamming me back against the seat and I wrapped my hands around it to try and get some give on it, hoping at some point to be able to breath.  Sam looked at me with concern, his brows creased with worry, leaving those little lines across his forehead and I rolled my eyes.

“You were calling Castiel’s name,” he said softly, and I wanted to smile at that small hint of jealousy in his voice.

“The damn Halo popped into my dreams,” I growled in frustration, “he started to say something about Danni and I, about our past and where we were coming from the day of the accident, but it was as if something just grabbed him by the collar and yanked him out.” My explanation seemed to ease his mind as I finally got the belt to do what I wanted. “How long have I been out?”

“A couple hours,” Sam whispered, and reached over to take my hand.  “Danni called twice to check in, apparently being lost in your own thoughts is not a valid excuse for missing a check-in two times.”

“Oh no, she’d be hot on your heels after the first one, you’re lucky she’s not in a car headed this way now.” I stretched and looked around, watching the scenery fly by.  “Any chance for a pitstop?”

“Actually, yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” he smiled and the two of us sat in a comfortable silence, our eyes on the lookout for a rest area, but my thoughts were on the vampire and what he had said the other night. 

Did I mention that I hated silence?  It was the reason I always had the music on, the reason I drove. That brought my concentration somewhere else, and away from anything potentially damaging, like the thought of a monster wanting me for the last thirty years… wanting me for itself at the same time that Crowley was gunning for me, or saving me, or whatever hell else he was planning.

I knew what my plan of action was when I got home, actually several plans of action, but one that stood out in my head.  I was going to find out the whole bloodline issue and I was going to get down to the point of Crowley’s three-decade obsession with the two of us.

By any means necessary!


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some alone time with Sam and I mean, without Dean involved...at least I think. And I finally figured out why Dean is so upset with Cas.

Chapter 30

Sam opened the door to the motel room, this one just outside of West Jefferson, Ohio, far enough away from London, but still on the route home.  I watched as he scanned the room and opened the door as I shot a text to Deb, one to my kids and Kathy and a last one to my mom.  Yep, I was halfway there and stopping for the night.  This time I hoped for a monster-free evening, and some alone time with Sam.

I stepped over the threshold, but as soon as I entered the room, my skin began to tingle. Sam glanced over at me as I stopped just this side of the door, cell in hand and my eyes darting back and forth over the room that held one queen-sized bed, a table, dresser and old box television.

“Ali?” and I heard the concern in his voice.  I cleared my throat, jostled out of my daze and looked over at him, letting my emotions drain from my face. “You all right?”

“Yeah, I...ah,” I stumbled, and then smiled.  “I’m fine, just a long day in a car and actually really hungry.  Guess convenience store food just doesn’t have that sustenance that it would have thought.  No wonder Dean is always starving.”

Sam smiled as I came in, dumped the bag I had carried in on the table and felt his hand on the back of my neck. Constant contact seemed to be a must with these two.  I looked up at him as he raised his brows, scanning over my face.

“No,” he breathed softly, locking his eyes on mine, “something’s up, what is it?”

“A feeling, just a feeling.” I admitted and ran my hands over my face.  “Maybe it’s because of what happened last time we were in a hotel in Ohio.”

“Yeah, that was...well, it was what it was, I guess.” he took my hand and tugged me over towards the bed, gently nudging me to sit down as he knelt on the floor between my legs, bringing us to eye level.  He reached up and touched my face, his fingers gently caressing my cheek as I watched his lips part. I closed my eyes at the touch and sighed, letting the feel of his fingers venturing down my neck to my collarbone and across just take over.  “I will always protect you,” he whispered little promises, “I will always be there when you call.”

“Sam,” I sighed, and leaned into the palm that was now pressed against my face. 

I didn’t want those promises, he had a brother to protect, a man he needed to be with.  No, I didn’t want promises from him, I just wanted him, his love and what he could give me when he was there.  I knew the story, they were hunters, there was no apple pie kind of life for them, as much as I would love it to be, but Sam and Dean had a mission, they were needed, more than anyone in the world would ever know.

He moved up against me, his lips softly pressed against mine as I brought my hands to his head, tangling them both in his hair, holding him there, and not wanting to let go. We were moving slowly, inching back on the bed as the kiss wore on, becoming deeper and more penetrating, not so much with tongue and lips, but the emotion behind it.

I knew what he was doing, trying to get so deep inside that I would never unfeel the way he felt right now, but he didn’t realize how much he already lived inside me.  He towered over me, those brown locks curtaining his face as he pulled away and looked deep into my eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered in a breathless voice, “more than anything, never forget that.” And before I could respond his lips were on mine once again.

His touch, his light caresses went on for what felt like hours, somehow undressing every part of me so that he could memorize it with his fingers, his mouth and any other part of him that he could use for sense memory. By the time, he had made it to my waist with just fingers and lips alone, I was ready to come undone. The man was sin incarnate and I was loving every second of it, my body so sensitive that even the brush of his hair was sending sensations through me that gave me goosebumps.

Just as he crossed the line, his lips following the line of my hips and lower, his phone rang. My hands tangled in his hair, begging him not to stop as his hands came down on my thighs, fingers kneading into the soft flesh, as he settled between them.  It stopped ringing and then a voicemail pinged, but just as his tongue flickered across an over-sensitive bundle of nerves, it began to ring again, and Sam’s growl against my skin vibrated through me, dragging a low moan from my throat. 

Again, it finally went to voicemail and he captured me between his lips, his tongue darting out as my fingers gripped tighter. I felt the sting of teeth against a too stimulated area and my breath caught, which made him do it again, getting more of response as he put my legs up on his shoulders and pressed deeper, like he couldn’t get enough of the sounds he was drawing from me.

I felt his finger slip in through the slickness and my whole body vibrated as my muscle clenched around the new intruder.  I bit down on my lip, trying to keep it to a moan and not the scream that threatened to come out, but I couldn’t help the way my hips moved, wanting to bring him in closer.  His hand moved from my thigh and pressed down against my stomach, holding me in place as his finger found just the spot within my walls to make me shake and curl my toes.

That was about the time the phone rang AGAIN! Sam growled.

“Answer it!”  He ordered, mumbled, and I tugged at his hair, his blue-green eyes locked on mine, dark and wanting, before they flicked at the phone. “He’s not going to stop until he gets an answer.”

“Sam,” I huffed, as his finger still moved, making me grind my teeth, “there is no way I’m answering it!”

“Do it,” he grinned against me. I released his hair, reached over and snatched the phone from the night stand. All I had to do was place it against my ear to accept the call and Sam knew it, nipping low and dipping in just as the call connected, making me moan into the phone.

All I heard over the sound of my own heart beat was “I’ll call back,” and the phone went dead. Tossing the device across the room, my hand was instantly back in his hair and Sam closed his eyes as I tugged him closer.

My hands didn’t move this time as he shifted from the spot he had nestled into, and my legs fell around his waist.  I knew he had managed to remove his shirt, but the fact that he had removed his jeans was definitely a surprise, especially when he rubbed against me.

His lips were hot, passionate and demanding as he brought them crashing down on mine and I loved every second of it.  I didn’t mind relinquishing control, not to him, and especially not during this because he seemed to know every trick to get me to respond.

This seemed to go on forever, a flow of intense emotions filled with straight desire and lust and then back once more until he turned me gently, as if he were about to cuddle, but as his body pressed against me from behind, while we lay on our side, I felt him take my leg and bring it up so that it rested over his hip.  Slipping one of his own between mine, I found that while he was holding me in a gentle embrace from the waist up, his hips had completely other ideas.

This wasn’t a new position for me, in fact it was one of the most intense ways to feel things, but the fact that Sam would put me this way made my heart jump.  I began to wonder just how he knew, or if we were more alike than I realized.  One hand snaked up and he placed his palm against my throat, fingers curling around my neck as the other ventured lower, giving teasing little flicks at every sensitive spot between my neck and where he rested.

I turned my head and met his eyes as he slowly slipped in and his lips brushed mine, only lightly. I grabbed his wrist, the one that held my throat and held on for what was about to become a wild, untamed ride, something that I welcomed.

He was slow at first, enjoying the way that he could move and still drag the noises from me, but his pace quickened as he slowly grew tired of the teasing.  I could feel him wavering, trying with everything he had to hold on as he sent waves of ecstasy flowing through my body, and the moment his lips, which had been gently caressing my neck, opened and he bit down hard on my shoulder was the instant that I couldn’t hold on any longer.

I slapped my hand down on his ass, digging my nails in as I let go of everything, the pain of the last few days, the confusion of everything that I had learned, and the anger of having to leave when it was just getting started. But I held onto the love, and closed my eyes tightly as his body vibrated with the low moan of release that he gave against my skin, slowly releasing his grip on both my shoulder and my body, one that I didn’t even know he had until it let loose.

He rested his cheek against mine, his breathing heavy as he came to rest, only making slow rocking motions with his hips as his arms gathered me up and held me gently.  I could almost feel his heart beating against my back and that too began to slow as moved his head back to the pillow.

It usually happened, especially after something as intense as that, I would be wide awake while my partner was dead asleep, and this was no acceptation, Sam faded off into a light sleep, and my body jumped, every nerve excited by all of the endorphins that flowed through me.  With a sigh, I slipped from his arms and made my way to the bathroom, glancing over him as he lay, one arm under his head, the other touching the spot where I had been and his legs were just as I pictured, position how he was when he was inside me.

I let the water in the bathroom spray on, let it heat up to the perfect temperature and was just about to get in when I heard Sam’s cell ringing again.  No need for the towel, since the man in the room had done more than see me naked, I walked over to where it landed, scooped it up and brought the damn thing with me, letting Sam rest a while longer.

“What?” I scolded playfully as I brought the phone to my ear, activating the call.

“You done?”  Dean questioned and I gave him a little giggle, “yeah, sounds like you are.  Where’s Sammy?”

“Knocked out, getting some sleep before dinner,” I replied and sat down on the toilet, letting the steam fill the room. “You okay, Dean?”

“Yes,” he huffed.

“Liar!”

I heard him sigh, “no, not really okay,” he answered and I could almost picture him sitting on a chair, leaning forward on his elbows to his knees. “It’s weird being away from him.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sending him home in the morning.”

“It’s weird being away from you,” he admitted and I smiled.

“Danni is right there with you.” I heard him clear his throat and imagined him sitting back. “Dean, what is it?”

“Danni’s tearing up the house, looking for some family tree.”

“And you want to help but don’t have a clue as to what to do with a woman…”

“Hey!” he interrupted which made me smile.

“A woman who is emotionally connected to you but on a mission, if you would kindly let me finish my sentence.”

“Yeah,” was his only reply.

“Just let her go at it, Dean, and when she’s ready, let her go at you.” 

“You have to be the biggest pervert I have ever met,” he groaned.

“Says the man with the need to touch ALL THE TIME!”  I answered, rolling my eyes. “I have a question for you, since we really didn’t get to discuss it, I mean we did but something about it just isn’t really...well, where did the need to touch me come from?”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” he stated lowly.

“Okay, so what do you want to talk about?”  I decided that showering with a Winchester in the talkative mood was out of the question especially with how rarely it happened so I shut it off, grabbed a towel and made my way over to the small table, so I could watch Sam sleep.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, and this made me sit forward.

“You called and interrupted Sam in the middle of… to talk about Cas?”  I said with a bit of confusion.  “Couldn’t you have waited if he didn’t answer the first time, or you know, just waited for him to get your voicemail before calling back?”

“Have you met me?” He questioned back.  “This is a thing for us, I call, he doesn’t answer, I call back until he does, or I haul ass and I find him, so yeah, I called back.”

“Okay,” I exhaled, “fine, so you wanna talk about Cas, let’s talk.  Let’s start with your deal, what the hell happened between you two?”

“Charlie,” Dean whispered and this had me stop.  Nowhere in any episode had anything happened between Charlie and Cas, so what the hell was he talking about?

“Okay, I’ll bite,” I sighed, wanting to regret everything from that point forward. “What about Charlie?”

“We were battling some pretty nasty monsters,” he said in a hushed voice. Monsters? Not Stynes? Not freakish Frankenstein ancestors but monsters?  “Charlie was our backup, I mean her and Jo.” OKAY, call me floored now! “They were hanging back, waiting on the bat signal, you know, but we messed up, Sammy and I, we lost track of a few.”

“So, if you and Sam lost them, how is it Cas’ fault?”

“We sent him to get them, he was our wingman, still had full power at that point, but he wasn’t strong enough to take on all of them at once.”

“Wait, what the hell kind of monsters were you fighting that Cas couldn’t deal with them all in one swoop of his wings?”

“Don’t suppose you know what a leviathan is,” he questioned, but it was in a way that told me not to even bother answering because he knew the truth. “So, these black goo-ed asshats attacked, Charlie and Jo didn’t stand a chance, Cas didn’t stand a chance, but he could have saved her.”

“Dean, I’m sorry about Charlie, but you can’t blame Cas for not saving her, I mean, she knew the hunter’s life, she chose this.”  I sighed and listened to him take in a deep breath. 

“He was there, Al, he was there and I wasn’t. He shouldn’t have gone if he couldn’t do my job, if he couldn’t protect them.”

“Seriously, Dean, there isn’t anyone there to blame.” I snapped and watched Sam shift on the bed.  “You said it yourself he didn’t stand a chance, why the hell would you have if you went, how the hell did Cas? Think about this for a minute, Dean, you’re not going to be able to save everyone.”

“I sure as hell am going to try,” he growled and cleared his throat.  “I gotta go, tell Sammy to call when he wakes up.”

“Yeah, okay,” I whispered, but the line went dead.  I put the phone on the table and sat back in the chair, letting out a breath.

So, Dean blamed Cas because Dean blamed himself for not being able to be in two places at one time, and save the world, typical Winchester.  It didn’t tell me what happened to Jo.

~~~~~

I was quiet at dinner, a small diner that was just off the beaten path but the food was delicious. The phone on the table beside me vibrated a few times but I didn’t look at it, in fact I didn’t do much but pick at the fries that graced my plate, the ones I wasn’t about to eat.  Sam sat across from me, taking his time with the burger and salad that he had ordered, but I could feel his eyes on me.

I had told him about Dean’s phone call, about the way he described Charlie’s death and how he blamed Cas, about my confusion over Jo and that his brother wanted a call back but Sam had said nothing in reply at least to the facts about Charlie, which made me think there was more to the story than Dean was letting on. So, I let it go, or at least I let it stop coming out of my mouth but the truth was now I was obsessing over it and I couldn’t just drop it.  I think it was my brains way of saying “hey dumbass, stop thinking about Crowley,” not that it was working either.

The man across from me bumped my knee with his and cleared his throat, which got me to look up from the ketchup soaked fry that I was twirling around.  I caught his eyes, watched the facial expressions I had come to know form and I put the fry down, raising my hand.

“Before you ask, yes, I’m fine, and no, I don’t want to talk about it,” I offered and watched as he gave me a cute little smile, something not as badass as you would have thought this dark hunter was capable of.  “I don’t get it, I don’t want to get it and honestly, my head hurts too much to care enough to try and get it.”

“Okay,” he whispered and sat back, “I get it.”

“Smartass!”  I mumbled and sat back in the seat, giving a look around the place.  “Why the hell does he blame Cas? I mean if they were leviathans, there was nothing that Cas could have done unless he sprouted a freaking Borax faucet and could make it rain down from heaven.”               

“Thought you didn’t want to get it,” he smirked and I rolled my eyes, sighing.  “Look, we both know that Dean can project with the best of them, so he projected the blame onto Cas. It’s not like he actually takes it seriously, yeah he gets pissed and says stupid things, but he loves Cas and would never want anything to hurt him.”

“That doesn’t give him the right to be an ass to the angel.” I snapped and watched as Sam did the same thing Dean always did to me when he was frustrated, he rolled his eyes and looked around, yep, they were definitely brothers.  “Okay, so tell me it.”

“Tell you what?”

“Charlie,” his eyes came to meet mine, “tell me, in your words, how she died.”

Sam took in a deep breath, closed his lips together and exhaled through his nose, before he leaned forward, forearms on the table after he pushed the plate aside and pondered for a moment.

“Dean was right, they were monsters. A dozen or more of the leviathans had breached the warehouse we had been staking out, they were looking for something, had been staking out the town for weeks and we thought we could get the jump on them.  Jo was the first on the job, she got us most of the intel, and Charlie came on after when we found out that Roman was doing more than just hunting down some chemicals in this place. This place was locked down tighter than Fort Knox, the only issue was, it wasn’t protected by people. They had a state-of-the-art security program that only one person we knew could ever crack.”  He took a deep breath as the sadness crept up on his face.  “She managed to get us in, get us past the gates but her and Jo had to keep the place safe so they were locked in the security office.  Dean and I were hunting down the clowns in the meatsuits and Cas was working on his own.”

“So, the Scooby gang split up?”  I questioned and watched as he nodded, “oh that always works so well in the movies.”

“Well, we weren’t expecting the place to be guarded, I mean to the outside world, it was just a meat packing plant.” Sam shrugged.  “We found the first ones on the main floor, but when they noticed we were in, some split off.  Dean and I did the best we could, we had at least six of them down, three more at the end of the blades but the others were just gone.  Dean called Cas and sent him up to the girls, and we were going to follow but we didn’t make it in time.”

“How did Charlie die?” I questioned and watched as Sam ran a hand over the stubble on his chin. “It’s okay, Sam, you don’t have to tell me.”

“No,” he sighed, “it’s okay, I want to. I don’t think I’ve ever told this story out loud to anyone, at least anyone that would understand just what we were up against without changing the monsters to something more human.”

“What did you find when you got there?”  I reached out and took his hand in mine, running my thumb over the back of it, tracing the line of his fingers.

“Cas was slumped against the wall, bleeding from a gash in his head, but it had already healed.  The problem was, he was still unconscious.  Jo was curled up on the floor beside him, as if she had been thrown against the same wall Cas leaned on, but Charlie,” he paused, his eyes becoming far away and he straightened just a bit, “Charlie was on the floor behind the desk, like she never left her post, she kept manning the computer until the very last minute.”

“What did they do?”

“They broke her neck,” he said softly and let out a sigh, “but they didn’t stop there.”

“What?” I watched as his eyes became glossy, his lips thinned out and he blinked away the emotions. 

“They _ate_ her heart,” he managed to get out in a breathless voice, one just loud enough to make out, and I could feel mine pounding against my chest.  “Dean tracked them all down and he killed them, and I don’t mean just cut off their heads, no, Dean cooked up a vat of Borax and tortured them until there wasn’t anything left on the bone to come back from.”

“And it was Cas’ fault?”

Sam managed to look up at me and shook his head.  “Cas was just as hurt as any of them, but he disappeared before we had Charlie’s funeral, and that made Dean mad, we were family, he should have been there.”

“According to who?”  I questioned and Sam looked at me oddly, as if he had never thought of questioning it.  “Before that moment, was Cas looking for your father?  Was he the one on the search for John?”

“What does that have to do with Charlie?” 

“Did Cas tell you where he went?”  I asked and watched as Sam shook his head. “Cas never does anything without some sort of reason, without a strong enough emotion behind him to drive him to think that what he is doing is for the greater good.  I’m sure he cared about Charlie just as much as you did, but he doesn’t have the luxury of stopping to take a second for anything, not even the death of a friend.” I watched as Sam clenched his jaw, before he reached for the cup of coffee.  “Don’t you think that if it wasn’t important for him to go that he would be standing right there beside you and Dean? That he would be there for Charlie?”

“But he wasn’t.” Sam snapped and his eyes darkened.  “He wasn’t there and he hasn’t been since then! In fact, until you came along, Cas has AWOL and he hasn’t come to any of our calls.”

“I heard Danni say the other day, when I was kind of half out of it, that maybe you didn’t have enough faith in him to bring him to you.” Sam’s fingers slipped from mine and he placed his hands on his lap.  “Maybe Cas feels bad enough that Charlie died on his watch, but he feels even worse because he thinks that he let Dean down, let you down, so he stays away. Maybe, just maybe, he’s trying to do the right thing, the one thing that you two haven’t been able to.”

“Yeah, and what would that be?” Sam questioned, his anger rising.

“Maybe Cas is trying to save your dad.” I answered and watched as Sam’s brows furrowed, before he turned and looked out the window, essentially closing me off for the moment, but I could see the wheels in his head turning, and I smiled.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Face to face with a decision that I didn't want to make, my heart shattered into a million pieces but one thing rose from the darkness, I had a renewed sense of what I needed to do in the end.

Chapter 31

It was late, not sure the exact time but I stood by the door, watching Sam pace the parking lot, cell pressed to his ear as he talked to Dean, probably about everything that went down at dinner, or not.  They seemed to have their own way of communicating, of dealing with a situation, but then again it could be a case that Dean caught, or something as stupid as “dude, she moaned on the phone”, I don’t know, it was all speculation from where I stood.

Danni cleared her throat as I looked down at the Skype screen on my phone (the one I had finally gotten fixed by the way, during a quick pitstop on the way home from Lawrence.)  Surprisingly it was a pretty good phone for a gas station burner, and the picture was crisp and clear.

“He still pacing?”  She questioned and I moved away from the door, sitting down at the table to use my coffee cup to prop the phone up so I didn’t have to hold it at a weird angle.

“Yeah, with that Sam Winchester face on, you know the one where he’s about to go kick someone’s ass just for the sheer pleasure of it?”  I answered and put my foot up on the other chair.  “Did you find the tree?”

“Yeah and get this, there’s a Kennedy in it, more importantly it tells me where and when my Dad’s family came over to America.”  Danni put the paper in front of her and took a breath.  “Listen to this and let me know if any of them sound familiar.  “Cambridge, Mass 1648, Ellis, Andrus, Shaw. Farmington, Connecticut.”

“They all sound familiar, I know every town in both states.” I sighed and tilted my head back, paused for a moment and then sat up straight, “wait, did you say Ellis?”

“Yeah, why?”

“What year was that?”

Danni held the paper up and ran down the list of names, her eyes scanned it over twice before she made a motion. “Ellis, 1876, Newington, Connecticut.”  Her eyes caught mine even on the screen. “Why?”

“No,” I whispered to myself, my thoughts going back to an old history lesson where we had to look up your family tree.  “That’s too much.”

“Ali?” she questioned, a bit of scolding in her voice, and I focused on her again, “spill.”

“Ellis was my great grandmother maiden name on my dad’s side, her mother Laura Ellis married my great grandfather, in Newington, Connecticut.” I sighed and shook my head.  The connection was too much of a coincidence and I rubbed my hands over my face, before looking at her.  “There’s more, isn’t there?”

“Yeah, part of my family came from Ireland,” she announced.

“And Crowley is Scottish, what does one have to do with the other,” but as I replied, the thought kicked into my head. “Crap, celtic magic.” Danni nodded and I took a peek out the window at the still pacing Winchester.  “Where’s Dean anyway?”

“Outside leaning on the front of Baby, chatting away with Sam,” she answered, a small grin on her face. “You wouldn’t think two siblings who have only been away from each other for what, ten hours, would have so much to talk about.”

“Totally wouldn’t think that at all,” I replied sarcastically with a smile.  “So besides tearing up the house to find this little gem, anything exciting happen today?”

“You mean besides finally having some time alone with a certain Winchester and investigating the property?”

“Okay, eww, no visual needed, but yeah.”

“Well, there was this one thing, it was kind of weird.”

“Weird huh?” I snickered and grabbed a bottle of water from the table.  “Weird is the story of my life, so what do you got?”          

“Remember what happens with unhallowed ground?” 

“Sure, dead grass, usually in a circular pattern, includes trees and anything in the area?” Danni stared at me for a moment, her lips tight.  “What?”

“The fact that you can rattle off any supernatural information two seconds after I mention it amazes me, you’re like a living encyclopedia of all things, well...weird.” She grinned and I knew she was only picking on me, but I couldn’t help but think of what Cas said, about the supernatural surrounding her in subtle ways.  “Anyway, this popped up in the middle of the south field.”

“Like south or southeast?”  I questioned and watched her shrug.

“It probably shouldn’t matter but no, due south.” I watched her take a peek outside before she got up, poured herself a coffee and sat back down again.  “The weirdest thing is, I was out in that pasture the other day.”

“Wait, isn’t that the one we walked through yesterday?”

“Yeah and no dead spots.” 

I ran my hand through my hair, “yeah, you’re right, weird. Did you tell Dean?”

“What, that some damn demon or something came up from the ground?”  She laughed, “not a chance in hell!”

“You should, Dan, and you probably should soon.”

“Why, you getting a feeling?”

“This whole thing is one gigantic _feeling_ but just to be on the safe side, it’s probably best to let him know before something happens.”

“Damn you for always being right,” she scolded with a laugh and I looked up as Sam stepped in the door, his cell in hand, patting it against his palm.  “Sam walked in, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” I smiled and watched as he gave me a small one back.  “So,” I turned back to look at the screen, “plans, theories, gateways to hell?”

“None of the above, well, maybe a theory, but I’m not sure on all the details.”  She looked up at the screen door squeaked and Dean walked by the camera.  “As far as I can tell there’s no sulfur smell, but that doesn’t mean anything since it’s in the middle of nowhere and less than 24 hours old. No demonic signs either.”

“Red lightning, cows, change in weather patterns?” I questioned and watched Sam sit on the bed with a questioning look on his face.

“No invisible dogs, signs of red-eyed Hell Kings, or even a blip on my supernatural radar. Nope, just a damn dead circle of grass.”  I took a breath and listened to the chair on the other end pull out as Dean sat down at the table.  “How about you, anything?”

“Yeah, a devil’s trap on your porch and salt on all the windows, otherwise without other signs I got nothing.”

“Unhallowed ground?”  Sam questioned and I nodded in his direction. “Huh,” his usual answer for going into his head to think about all the possibilities, but Dean cut him to the chase by grabbing the phone and turning it to him.              

“We’re talking the circle in the south field?”  He questioned and suddenly I longed for a touch, just a simple caress from him, just to feel safe, but I straightened myself out and gave just a nod.  “I didn’t get anything from it, the grass doesn’t even have a hint of the smell and there’s no sulfur dust anywhere near it.”

“Okay, so demons are ruled out.” Sam spoke up.

“Yeah,” I whispered, “not so much.” He snapped his head up to look at me as I faded off to my own thoughts and closed my eyes.  “Dead zones like that can be just portals, not so much unhallowed ground, which means it’s an opening for them to get through, so the signs would be minimum, and with 24 hours between when we were last there to when you found it, the wind could have blown all the evidence away.”

“She not wrong,” Dean sighed and when I opened my eyes, I saw Sam nod in agreement.  “So, what, Crowley came to send Azeel’s ass back to hell and he blew the gates wide open for other demons?”

“What if he didn’t?”  Sam spoke up. “What if the gateway is only meant to be for him?”

“For Crowley?” Danni questioned.

“Yeah,” Sam grabbed a chair and came to sit by me as the two of us fit on the screen and Dean angled it so both he and Danni were there, “think about it, if Crowley wanted to protect the girls, he would have to do it by opening up a hole so he could get out.”

“He never needed a way out of hell before.” I stated and watched as Sam gave me just a quick glance.

“He wasn’t in his usual suit either,” Sam added.

“Point taken,” I sighed and thought for a moment, “so Crowley needed a door to ride another demon’s ass out of hell but the portal is only mean to be, what, a one-way ticket?”

“It’s possible.” Sam shrugged and I watched Dean roll his eyes.

“I’ll get the spray paint,” he growled.

“I have salt in the bottom of the cabinet, like a lot of salt.” Danni replied and she looked at me as Dean disappeared off the camera.  “We’ll talk soon.”

“Go get it done, sis.” I whispered and watched her nod, but the frown appeared on her lips.  “Stay safe.”

“You too.” She gave me a little grin and off went the camera.

I sat back and closed my eyes. 

The blue-green orbs that met mine when I finally decided to open them were full of emotions, mostly that of being apologetic but I didn’t let him get a word out before I closed the distance, crushing my lips down on his, locking us together like a perfectly cut puzzle.  Sam’s hand came up as he sighed and placed his fingers along my neck, before he slipped it behind my hair and held me there while he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me onto his lap.

Yeah, I really liked where the was going.

~~~~~

I woke with a start, the night finally closing in on me not more than an hour before, and could feel Sam’s warm naked body surrounding me, but that wasn’t what shook me from the much-needed sleep, it was the eyes on me, just that feeling that pulled me from it. 

I couldn’t make out who it was, couldn’t see the actual face of the person that stood in the corner of the room, but as I sat up, pulling the sheet to my chest, I could feel my heart thumping hard against my ribs.  Whoever this was felt familiar, almost like we had met before, and all I did for a moment was stare, trying to catch my breath as my hand reached for the spectrum blade that sat on the nightstand.  It shook its head. _He_ shook _his_ head, stepping out from the shadows, his eyes a piercing yellow as he looked over the man beside me and a smile crossed his face.

_So, you’re the one?_ His voice, a strange mix of Sam’s knowledgeable tone and Dean’s deep protective growl filled my head. _Don’t worry, I’m not going to harm you._

_Demon... in my room... watching me… do you really think that makes me want to trust you?_ I replied, using my thoughts, hoping it wouldn’t draw too much attention to what was going and stir Sam from his sleep, something I really should have done.

_Well, I did save your life once, what would be the point in ending it now?_ Confusion clouded my thoughts as he smiled, a complete Dean grin, and I realized who I was looking at.  _I came to warn you._

_About what?  A demon in my room, Crowley up to no good? Maybe the fact that he made a pact to use me and Danni to destroy the princes? You?_ Because, yeah, I was absolutely sure I knew who I was looking at now.

_Your sister is in trouble, her life is in danger.  Dean needs Sam._

_So why hasn’t he called?_

_He doesn’t know yet, I was only able to break away from the angel long enough to warn you and when Castiel comes, you need to let Sam go, it’s the only way to make sure that Danni remains safe._  I watched as he faded back into the shadows, not faded away but as if he blended in with them, until only those yellow eyes remained. _Remember Ali, you need to let Sam go._

That was the last thing I heard before he vanished, and along with him went the feeling of being watched, the evil feeling of danger in the room. But one question filled my mind, one thing bothered me about the whole conversation and I could help but wonder, why did John Winchester suddenly decide I was the one that needed to be warned?                                                     

I was still staring at the wall when the phone beside Sam shrilled through the night, the sound making me jump suddenly as I turned in his direction.  Sam closed his eyes tightly, stirred from his sleep and blinked away the dryness as he looked at me with just a hint of confusion, and turned, snatching the phone from the stand.  He clicked the screen, pressed the speaker button and placed it down between us, his fingers tracing the bare length of my back.

“Dean?” Sam questioned, his voice full of concern.

“Sammy, we got problems,” Dean announced, and I could hear the rumble of Baby’s engine as he stepped on the gas.  In the background, Danni’s voice pleaded with him to go faster, as if they were racing away from something.

“Dean, what’s going on?”  Sam questioned, suddenly getting up.  I watched him go into action mode and before I knew it he was dressed, commando style, buttoning his jeans as he finished pulling on his shirt. I was too stunned to move, but he looked me over and handed me something, but they didn’t even register as my clothes before I found myself slipping them on.                                                               

What the hell was Sam going to do 700 miles away from his brother?

I watched as Sam found his gun, his knife and put the phone down. Dean’s voice called out over the sound of the racing engine.

“Hellhounds, and demons, lots of them and not Crowley’s little pet either, she’s actually the reason we got away.”  Dean answered as they raced down the road.  “I don’t know what happened, Sammy, there were no signs, no warnings, the damn things came out of the darkness.  Is there even that many people in Vinita to get possessed?”

“Dean, where’s Danni?” I questioned, thinking back to what John the Yellow Eyes had said, even though I had heard her on the line.

“She’s right here, Angel,” he replied, his voice trying to stay calm.

“Where are you going?”  Sam questioned, tying his boots up.

“Lebanon, Sammy, we’re headed for the bunker!”

“Good, Ali and I will meet you there!” I watched him snatch the keys from the table, the keys to my rental car.

“No!”  Dean snapped. “Sammy, you have to make sure she’s safe.  Get her home, once we get to the bunker, there’s not a chance in hell anything is getting in, but Ali needs to make it home.”

“Not going to happen,” I spoke up, suddenly alive and animated as I finished getting dressed and stood up moving closer to the phone. 

“What?” both Sam and Dean snapped at the same time.  I reached out and put my hand on Sam’s chest. “You need to go with him, you need to help your brother. Trust me when I say that it’s very important to keep Danni safe, not me.”

“Are you out of your tree?” Dean yelled over the line.

“Shut up and listen,” I answered back.  “For some reason, they peg her as the weakest link in this, not that she is at all, in fact she’s far from it, but she’s the target now, not me.  She needs to be protected.”

“Like hell I do!”  She chimed in and this got me to smiled.  “Listen chick, I don’t need to be surrounded by a couple of hunters to be safe, one is enough! I can hold my own.”

“Please, just… just trust me, okay. I’ll explain everything later but Danni, you know I wouldn’t do this if I thought otherwise, but they’re after you for a reason.”  I turned from the phone that I had been staring at to look up at Sam. “Just protect her.”

“How? How am I going to get there and leave you without a car?” Sam’s hands came up and he rested them gently on my shoulders.

I closed my eyes, pictured Cas in my mind and let the quiet prayer out to him.  I knew he was listening, he had been in my head so much there was no way he wasn’t tuned into the need that I had right now.  I heard the swoosh of his wings as he entered the room, felt Sam stiffen at the noise and opened my eyes.

“No!” He snapped shaking his head. “I’m not going to leave you.” His eyes filled with anger, and love and… loss, but I took hold of the hands that held me.  “I…”

“You can, Sam, you have to.” I swallowed back the emotions as his eyes filled with pain, caught between staying and going, and in order to deal, he suddenly brought his lips crushing down to mine.

It was a passionate, possessive kiss that was meant to make me remember, not that I would ever forget the feeling of him, but he wanted that to be forever there, the only kiss I ever felt for the rest of my life, incase this was the end of his.  When he backed away, he pressed his forehead to mine, his breathing heavy and I could feel his heart racing when I pressed my hand against it.

“I love you!” his tone was forceful, as if he didn’t think I would believe it when he said he was leaving, that he had to go with Dean, but I knew it, felt it in every fiber of my being.

“I love you too, Sam, that’s not going to change but you have to go!”  I answered, my chest suddenly hurting from the thought of separation as I glanced at the angel in the room.  I backed away from him, holding tightly to his hands as the tears began to run hot down my cheeks.  “Dean! Sam’s coming. Cas is bringing him straight to you, so keep your mental GPS on and don’t be a douche and block him!”

“Really? Cas? You’re sending Sam with Cas, how the hell are you even going to get a hold of him?” 

“Hello, Dean.” Cas spoke up, stepping closer to Sam and I could hear the frustrated huff on the line, but Cas turned to Sam as the Winchester stared me down, even as the angel looked at him.  “Sam, she’s right, you have to protect Danni, you have to be with your brother.  I swear I will watch over her, I’ll make sure she gets there in one piece.”

Wrong choice of words, Castiel. I sighed and watched Sam’s eyes snap up to him.

“How can I trust you with her?  I mean a hundred percent?”  I watched Sam’s fist start to curl and I purposely put my body between them, facing Sam.

“Sam,” I whispered, reached up and cupped his cheek, bringing those fire-filled eyes to mine.  “I trust him, and I know just as much magic as you do.”

“Theoretically,” Sam growled.

“Listen, stop being so pigheaded and do what I tell you to!” I snapped, the anger flaring in me.  “Go to your brother, dammit, and save my sister!”

Again, he sealed his emotions with a kiss, this time longing and love filled it completely before he abruptly stepped back, putting arm space between us, his chest heaving and his lips parted in pain as he stared me down, setting the keys on the table behind him.

“I love you!” his lips moved soundlessly as Cas reached out a hand and Sam looked down at it just in time for the two of them to disappear from the room, Sam’s cell disappearing along with them.

As soon as the room was silent, I let out the breath that I was holding, along with the tears and the sudden loss as the pain filled my chest and I found myself on my knees, my eyes locked on the spot where Sam had just been.

He was gone, my sister was in danger, and Dean was fighting to stay in control. 

What the hell had I done?


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas told me something that I couldn't believe, but then again, why wouldn't things be different, they had been right along, and BTW, first hunt are anything but easy.

Chapter 32

Cas stood in the room, I could feel him looking over my shoulder as I stuffed things into my bag, in fact I even stuffed some of Sam’s things in there too. I didn’t really care, but after a few minutes of being stared at, I turned to him and placed a hand on the bag that I had been packing.

“I assume he arrived safe?”  I questioned, void of all emotions.  Yeah, I had spent more than an hour on that floor weeping them out before I decided there was no use staying the rest of the night. It was time to move.

“Yes, Sam is safely with Dean and Danni,” he answered, walking closer to me. I nodded and went back to packing.  “I managed to get the Impala and its occupants to the bunker unharmed, but it took a lot out of me, I can’t go back to where I was before you called.”

“You were with John, you can say it.” I whispered and listened to him exhale.  “I know because John was here, he was the one that told me to let Sam go.”

“You listened to John Winchester and left yourself vulnerable?”  Cas questioned confused, but I turned back to him.

“I followed my gut and it told me that John was right, so, no lectures, okay?”  I zipped the bag and placed it by the keys before slipping the Walther in the back of my jeans. “If you can’t pop out, then you’re going to have to come with because I’m not staying.”

“Sam will call soon,” Cas whispered.

“And he’ll know that you’re keeping your word because your ass will be sitting beside me in a car,” I retorted and watched his lips thin. “Listen, Cas, don’t argue with me, just… just do it.”

“I can only promise to stay with you until I’m back to full strength, I was _watching_ John, not with him.” I rolled my eyes at him, scanned the room for any unpacked items and grabbed the bag and the keys before walking out into the rising morning sun. I slipped the keys into the return box for the office and tossed my back in the trunk.  “Are you stopping for breakfast?”

“Why? You hungry?”  I looked over the roof of the car as opened the door.

“No,” he said pointedly, “but you should eat before you drive.”

“There’s a drive-thru somewhere around here,” I shrugged and we both slipped into the car.

It was quiet when I started it up, and part of me had hoped that it would sound like Baby, but no luck, just a quiet little engine that could.  I looked over at Cas, put my seatbelt on and backed out of the space, headed towards I-70 north.  

~~~~~

Two hours into the drive, the cell on the dash rings and Sam’s number pops up on the monitor.  Quickly, I reached over and pressed the accept button.

“Sam?” I spoke softly, my voice cracked with the sudden rush of emotions that washed over me.

“We’re safe, Ali, all three of us,” he answered and I felt every muscle in my body relaxed. “I didn’t want to go.”

“I know,” I blinked quickly, focusing on the road.  “Any news on what the hell happened?”

I could feel Cas’ eyes on me as I watched the road, he was just as curious as I was.  Sam cleared his throat and I could almost picture him stepping out of whatever room he was in and heading up to the library, where he grabbed his usual seat at the table.

“The cats started acting crazy again, so Dean went to check it out…”

“You guys really need to watch some horror movies.” I mumbled, interrupting him, but I heard him give a small chuckle.

“I guess they were coming down from the garage, probably the last place that anything supernatural happened so they were just drawn there.” 

“That’s pretty much where Azeel bit it,” I shrugged.

“Yeah, you’re right, that’s probably exactly it,” he sighed and I could hear him rubbing his hands together as if he were cold.  “So, Dean grabbed Danni and hauled ass to the Impala, got strapped in and they attacked.”

“From across the field?  Were they meta demons? I mean how did they get that far that fast?”

“No clue, I’m just going on what they told me.” Just then the navigation kicked in telling me to keep left to merge onto the next highway.  “They watched it happen, Juliette, or whatever the hell Crowley’s hellhound is called, started ripping demons apart and Dean got on the road, and on the phone.  They weren’t far from Vinita headed north when he called.”

“The bunker’s what, six hours away from her?”  I questioned, glancing down at the miles I had left, before glancing at Cas.  Ugh, I was going to need another coffee.

“Well, not by angel air,” Sam stated sarcastically and I smiled, glancing at Cas who just gave me an angel’s version of rolling his eyes. “How’s the drive going?”

“Slow, but steady and I have the best silent companion along with me. Protective but so not the chatty Kathy I expected.”

“My name is Castiel,” he replied a bit confused and this made me smile.

“It’s a term for someone who likes to talk a lot.” I explained and watched as he nodded, before resuming to stare at me.  “How’s Danni?”

“Fine, Dean gave her something to help her relax, so I think she’s sleeping.”

“Whiskey?”

“No,” he laughed, “Xanax, I think.”

“Okay, you know... I’m just gonna keep my Against Medical Advice to myself and let that one go.”  I said as I shook my head.  There was a moment of silence between us as I bit my lip, not sure on the question that popped into my head.

“Ali,” Sam spoke breaking the quiet of the car, “you can ask about Dean, you know.”

“I didn’t want to,” I admitted and all emotions drained from my face.

“I get it, but he’s family and you are more than able to be concerned for him, about him.  Hell, we all are.  Dean tends to keep things locked in, and yeah, sometimes we have to break through to get him to open up. With you though, apparently, he can’t keep it shut and that’s a good thing. I love my brother, I love you and if you can help him, I’m all for it.”

“That’s noble, Sam but I don’t think you understand the extent…”

“Ali, you love my brother, I get that, I really do and I know his tendencies, so just… just stop. Okay?” I nodded though he couldn’t see it and slowly I exhaled.

“So, how is he?”

“Pissed off,” he started, “afraid, though he won’t admit it. Hating himself for the demon attack, hating himself for me leaving you, and generally being a complete ass, you know, his normal bitchy self.”

“I’ll call and talk to him later, maybe that will help. I’m at about the halfway point.” I whispered, not wanting to admit that there was something in the air, but Cas’s stare told me something was up.  I muted the phone and looked at the angel.  “What is it?”

“How much do you know about your Sam and Dean?”  I looked at him oddly, that was just a weird question, and apparently, my expression was enough to keep him going, “how much do you know about _this_ Sam and Dean?”

“Cas, what the hell?”  I growled and pulled over to the side of the road, into a truck stop and put the car in park.  With a stern stare at the man beside me, I pushed the button, unmuting Sam’s call.  “Sammy, I’ll call you back, we’re running into traffic and I don’t want to be on the phone through it.”

“Okay,” he said, unsure.  “Be safe.”

“I will,” I smiled and looked at the phone, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said with a bit of a hitch in his voice. And I watched the line go dead.

With a sigh, I turned to Cas, “okay, spit it out, what’s going on?”

“There’s things you should know about the timeline of this Sam and Dean as opposed to the one you saw in the show,” he stated and turned in the seat.  “Important details that may have been left out.”

“I know there are differences, Cas, but they aren’t anything I can’t handle, that Danni can’t deal with.”

“Yes, but this has to do with Sam,” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I listened to Cas.  “Sam is not the man you know in the show.”

“I get that.”

“No, you don’t understand.  I’ve watched your boys, your actors and the way that portray how Sam was when he was younger, smart, crafty and more reasonable than Dean but this Sam, the one you’re in love with, that wasn’t his childhood.”  Curiosity was always my downfall and I found myself tuning him in more.  “As you know, Sam was infected with demon blood when he was a baby, six months, but here, in reality, that wasn’t his purpose for being in the Winchester house that night, it was something more than that, but with the blood mixing with his, Sam became part of that world, but it didn’t wait until he was twenty-two to kick in, Ali, he was volatile from the beginning.”

“So, Sam was…”

“A monster, essentially,” Cas replied and I felt my mouth drop. No, that was not exactly what I expected to hear but yeah, I could go with it and see where the angel was leading to next. “As soon as Sam was mobile the littlest thing would set him off, and not just slightly.  Sam had no remorse for anything that he did.  He was the perfect hunter, and John took advantage of that, training them like soldiers but Dean always was the one to defuse Sam when it came to it, when the need was there. Dean was the one that stopped Sam from becoming the thing they hunted.”

“Jesus, it’s like Soulless Sam all over again,” I whispered and took a deep breath.  “So, Sam had anger issues, my son was dead set to take off someone’s head with a bat when he was younger before he learned to control it, so what, he seems to have it well under control now.”

“He doesn’t,” Cas sighed.  “Haven’t you ever wondered why Dean keeps you so close, why he’s always touching you? It’s not for the contact, it’s to make sure that Sam didn’t harm you.”

“That’s a load of crap!” I snapped and swallowed hard, but it made sense. 

Maybe Dean’s affections towards me had stemmed from the need to protect me from the vampires, but now he was more concerned with the need to protect me from Sam. But then again, Sam was always in control around me, at least with me, even though I had seen that darkness in him.  I shook my head and turned to look out the window. There was no way that I was going to accept this as the truth. There was no indication that Sam was still having issues with the demon blood in his system.

“What about hell? Did Sam go to hell?”

“Yes, and Crowley raised him back up, soulless but how do you think he survived so long being that way if he wasn’t a hint of it before?” Cas stated and this made me turn to him.  I hadn’t thought of that before, even the transition back to having a soul seemed like a cakewalk to the boy on the show, but I never figured out how Sam did it here.  “There wasn’t much in the way of emotions, those wrong or right tendencies for him to slip back into.  Sam, here, knows one thing, and one thing only, Dean will always come first, or at least he knew that until he met you.  Ali, you need to use caution with him, there is something inside of you that tugs at Sam, that draws him in, just like it does Dean, but Dean feels the need to protect you, to keep that tangible link, Sam draws off you, feeds from your past.”

“Are you telling me that loving Sam is dangerous?”  I questioned and watched him frown.

“I’m telling you that Sam himself is dangerous, that there is no going back for him if that darkness is flipped.  Before this is all over, we could lose him for good if we’re not careful.  It’s the reason I watch John, the need to keep him from slipping over the edge.  I won’t lose my brother again, Ali,” Cas whispered, which had me looking at him, as he took in a deep breath, “I’ve lost too many already and the world needs every Winchester it can keep.”

There was no true way to process everything he was saying to me, which he continued to do after letting me know he wasn’t going to lose Sam if he could help it, but half of it I didn’t remember and the other half I wish I forgot, like the truth behind Azazel’s presence in the house the night that Mary Winchester died, but it explained so much. 

This Sam and Dean, this duo was definitely darker than anything I could have imagined, but the things that were different weren’t things I couldn’t live with and I told myself that as I pushed them to the back of my head. 

When he finished, I nodded, didn’t say a word and pulled out into traffic, dead set on making my way home, back to some sort of resemblance of normal, but I knew it wouldn’t ever be the same again, not with what I had planned to do next, not with the knowledge that I now held of Sam and Dean, but again, it was something I was going to live with.

After all, we all had our demons.

~~~~~

Life seemed to happen so fast when I got home that it seemed that time never stopped, in fact it sped up, so much to the point where my days began to run into each other.  Days and nights didn’t separate, there wasn’t dates, but events.

My first hunt was something I stumbled on, after collecting all of the tools that I remembered having for any situation that came up.  I still packed the Walther, complete with vampire killing bullets, and Dean had managed to send along some witch ones in the mail. I found silver ones at a local shop, finding hunters in my own area, something that I truly didn’t think was a real thing but Jones seemed to be the best in Western Mass, but he promised to send some things my way, especially when he found out that I knew the Winchesters.

So, my first hunt, as I was saying, was stumbled on when I was in Jones’ shop, he was looking for some rare herb in the background in order to help me seal a special room that I was making.  It was the last ingredient and the spell would be complete, great news for me, bad news for him since he had searched the internet for two days only to find it in Boston on a random trip but he had hidden it in the backroom.

As I looked through the shop, waiting on the man, I happened to notice the newspaper sitting on the desk and a strange article about a housefire in a town not more than twenty minutes from me.  The cause of the fire was under investigation and though they were pretty sure it was just electrical, the paper also stated that there had been a rash of those same kinds of fires over the last two weeks in the same area.

Great, sounded like my kind of thing.

I stashed the paper and smiled as Jones handed me the wooden box that held my herbs.  Making a rather hasty retreat, I thanked him and was on my way out the door and headed toward home before I knew what was going on. Yeah, I had caught the hunting bug and it was bad.

Research got me in pretty deep about the history of the surrounding area and I noticed the pattern right off the bat.  It was one of the towns that had incorporated some of the families from the days when the Quabbin Reservoir was being flooded and four towns were taken down.  This particular case echoed ones that had happened nearly every two decades, which is why no one found the pattern until now.

My need to investigate got the best of me and I headed out once the kids were safely at their father’s house for their weekend visit.  This was my time and I needed to see what I could do to keep myself safe. With all the knowledge of the spells I had worked on in the last few weeks, I decided that I was ready.

How wrong could I possibly be?

The house was in shambles when I pulled up, a dark shell of the old Victorian home. It had been beautiful once, but now half if it was black as coal with fire damage and the rest had the windows boarded up.  There wasn’t any police presence in the area and slipping in was relatively easy, accept when I made it to the basement.

The fire had nearly destroyed the old foundation but the evidence of just what was going on was there in front of me.  If you didn’t know the supernatural world, you would have never known what to look for.  An old cellar hole, a vegetable cellar hole, stood out against the blackness and I made a beeline for it.  Something pulled me there and I clicked on the LED light to better find my way without tripping over something or causing the rest of the house to cave in. 

Rock shells filled the small sawed-off that I carried, but the line of salt I put around the entrance of the hole would keep them or it inside.  A real tire iron was strapped to the side of my jeans by a clip that seemed to hold it well and the backpack I carried had the accelerating I needed to get this thing moving.

Just as I thought, in the back of the hole was a hollowed-out spot in the wall that, with a bit of help from the light, let me see the cloth wrapped bag of bones that lay there and I made quick work of dousing it with lighter fluid, but as I tried to light the matches, something grabbed me from behind and tossed me against the wall, spilling the box on the ground.  I fought to keep focused on the ever-shifting specter before me until I could pinpoint its pattern, which is the point where I swung, no need for the shells this was too much of an enclosed space, but the iron worked just as well. 

I was able to move with as much confidence as I could, trying my best not to get myself tripped up and finally grabbed a handful of the matches, just as I was once again, tossed across the room, this time closer to the hole instead of further away from it.  I got a good look at the ghost this time, the ragged way she was dressed, the matted mess of her hair and then I saw the slit across her throat.  No wonder she was pissed, she had been murdered and stuffed in a hole.

“Are there anymore of you?” I asked out loud and watched as she grimaced, before giving what I assumed was a nod of her head. “Where? Let me set you free, let me send you home.”

She pointed to the four directions of the recent fires and I shook my head. What the hell had this town gotten into and how long had it been going on for.  By her dress, this one had been in the wall for more than half a century, what was I going to find when I was able to get to the others.  Her arms lowered as she seemed to flicker in and out but as I raised the matches to strike the cement wall, she didn’t move, she didn’t come after me, in fact I swear I saw relief in her eyes.

With one quick swipe, six wooden matches flared to life and with one last look at the woman in the black torn dressed, I tossed them into the hole, watching the bag of bones burst into bright orange flames.  She flickered again before standing there silent, burning as her corpse did and she smiled.

With a deep breath, I grabbed as much of my stuff as I could and ran out the open hatch, ducking into the trees as the rest of the house, dry from waiting on the demolition crew to take it down, began to smolder and before I knew it, as I trekked the eighth of a mile, the whole house was up in flames. With a sigh, I slipped into the waiting vehicle and took a deep breath.

 I thought I knew what vengeful spirits were, I thought that this would have been an easy salt and burn but seriously, like I said before, how wrong could I possibly be.

It took me another week to clean up the other four houses, and while keeping track of the activity on a map, I found that each one became points in a pentagram.  I was dealing with witches, or would have been if they were still in the area. 

I wasn’t a hunter yet, and by the end of it, I was sore as hell, but this case was a good start.

~~~~~

May faded quickly, with the constant phone calls from the boys and Danni, which was a blessing and a curse, and the time spent researching the supernatural, it all became a blur.  And then there was the hunts of course, ones that seemed to fall in my lap, and ones that were given to me by Carol, who I had entrusted to keep an eye on the strange happenings in the area.  Sam himself couldn’t keep up with the amount of cold cases that Carol found and connected to what was now my norm, a realm of demons, vampires, monsters and ghost, all in my area.

Video chats with Sam were my only way of connecting with him and I missed his touch as much as I missed breathing, should I have to hold my breath that long, but I was always curious about what Cas had told me about his past. I decided it was better talked about in person, if I ever got to see him again.

Speaking of the past, I didn’t lose sight of the it though, especially the one that concerned me and Danni. While the Devil’s trap graced the ceiling above the door in invisible paint and the sigils that lined the interior of the house kept my children safe, the locked and seal room in the basement kept the secret from them that I wasn’t ready to share. This was what the herb from Jones’ store was for, to protect this secret from the outside world and lock in the information that it contained.

It looked like a crime board in the small, makeshift bunker that occupied the furthest 12x12 area of the room, blocked off by self-made walls and a sturdy locked door, each square foot protected by something that I had been able to pull from my mind, a spell, a symbol in Enochian or some Latin inscription that to others would make no sense along with the symbol “AO-III”, a blood magic spell that I couldn’t get out of my head no matter how I tried.

And that, in itself, made me worry.


	33. Chapter 33: Dark Hunters Season 1 Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all come down to this, to finding out some of the past, to trying to get to the truth, but are we there yet or is there so much more to the story.
> 
> Thanks for venturing along on this. Although this will be the last chapter for this book, we will pick up again for book 2, and don't forget to follow along on twitter @dgray3994 as we actually take this trip starting 4/14/17. So Friday night, at 8:43 at a Waffle House in Oho, the fun begins

Chapter 33: Dark Hunters Season 1 Finale

It was less than two weeks after we parted that it happened, after the room in the basement was secure and the wards had all been placed, that was when the lies began.  Okay, so maybe they weren’t lies, but the fact that Danni was now at the bunker with the boys, (her home having been invaded by demons kind of put the dampers on her going back, but the animals were safe and in good hands), put a strain on the way we worked on our history.  That is until a certain angel had a brilliant idea.

I had walked down the stairs half-past midnight after a text message came through that to “meet me in the research room” from Danni, so, with a mug of coffee in hand, because I knew I was in for a long night, I stepped down into the darkness.  The auto-lights I had installed clicked on as I moved closer to the room and as I drew on the door, pressed my finger on the trigger point, I heard it click, releasing the lock to get inside.

When I pushed the door back, the lights in the room were already on and in the middle of the floor, standing around the small table that was covered in books was Danni and Cas.

“Okay,” I spoke up, closing the door tightly behind me. I pointed to Cas, “you’re supposed to be on demon Dad watch and you,” I pointed at Danni, “I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to have a Winchester wrapped around you.  How late is it in Lebanon?”

“Not nearly late enough,” Danni smiled and I reached out, pulling her into my arms. “Sam and Dean are on a hunt in Vail, Colorado.”

“Ooh, Vail,” I smirked, moving back and watched her grin, “sounds ominous.  What are our boys hunting this week?”

“A Changeling,” Cas interjected and both Danni and I looked at him. “And yes, I was watching John Winchester, however, he’s been locked down in a cabin since he paid you a visit. I haven’t been close enough to see what he’s doing but he hasn’t left.  I assumed it was safe to answer Danni’s call.”

“Danni’s call?” I looked back at my sister in wonder, “you called Cas?”

“He was the fastest means of transportation and I think he’s going to be a great help,” she shrugged and looked over at him.  My eyes landed on the angel, who had pulled out a seat and was looking up at us as innocent as possible. 

“With research?”

“With anything, Cas will be our eyes and ears on the family tree thing.”  Danni pointed to the chair on the other side of the table as she sat down.  Before I did the same, I started the coffee pot in the basement and let it brew as I sat with my still steaming mug.  “Okay, so before you start gettin pissy…”

“Probably too late for that but go ahead,” I answered and took a sip, trying to stay calm.

Danni sighed, rolled her eyes and let them rest right back on me. Yep, she was definitely picking up some Dean-isms.  “Okay, so here’s the deal, we need information and I can’t go back home to get it.  All we have is what I sent over to you about the names and dates and all you got is your dad’s family line up until 1843, not far enough back.”

“Yeah, I get that,” I sighed, “but what does Feathers here have to do with our family tree?” 

“It’s simple really,” Cas spoke up, “you need to go further back to get the information you need, I can do that for you.”

“Okay, one,” I sat forward and put on my best game face before turning to Cas, “you are not on the Winchester’s good side as it is, why are you going to do something to piss them off more?” and then I moved on to Danni, “and are you willing to lie to Dean to keep this up, the tension between Cas and the boys is strained enough.”

“Sam knows,” Danni said pointedly.

“What?” I had to put the cup down, in fact I had to push it away to give myself some breathing room, “what do you mean he knows?  Knows what?”

“Sam knows about your research,” Cas spoke up, and I felt like I was playing table tennis with the way my head was whipping back and forth.

“The bloodline research, yeah, I tell him about it every time he calls, so?”

“No, Ali, he knows about the research you’ve been doing into the Princes, the yellow-eyed demons?  Azazel?” I sat back in the chair and took a deep breath as I licked my lips, turning away.  “What are you trying to do?  He’s put that in the past.”

“What I do with my own research isn’t always about Sam,” I whispered, and it really wasn’t but the fact that Sam’s mother had died from the bastard and his father got a crap deal from him didn’t help the situation at all.  “There’s other reasons to look into them, not just Sam’s past, but…” I wasn’t sure how to put this, “I think Crowley’s plan has something to do with them and I need to know everything I can about them, biblically and mythologically.”

“Why not say then?”

“Sam doesn’t need to know why,” I sighed.

“Yeah, I think he does,” she leaned on the table.

“And Dean needs to know you made a deal with an angel to get history done on our family, that, oh by the way, happens to be connected to the yellow-eyed son of a bitch that killed his mother.  Seriously, Danni, we’re not kidding anyone here, both of us have majorly screwed up and when those boys find out, they’re going to be pissed as hell.”

“If they find out,” she said as she raised an eyebrow.

“Not if, Dan, _when_ ,” I gave her a nod.  “They’re both geniuses, with IQs higher than probably Steve Jobs and Jackie Chan.”

“The karate guy?” I rolled my eyes at her, knowing she was just being a pain in my ass. “I don’t like it any more than you do, Ali, but we have to dig deep and if this is the way we’re going to have to do it, than we’ll make it work.”

“We should just tell them,” I sighed and thought of Dean and his trust issues, but then again, I also thought of what he would do if he found out.  “No, you’re right, he’d kill us.”

“Who?”  Danni smiled.

“Dean,” I groaned and sat back.  Cas had taken it upon himself to pour us all a cup of coffee, well to reheat mine, and that was where the plan began.

~~~~~

As the month wore on, the visits became twice a week things, with the involvement of Carol and her knowledge of how to get around the worldwide web. Honestly, I think I could do it but there was no way I had that much time between hunting and the kids to do anything more than in depth.

Cas scanned the world for more information about our families, he dug so deep into history that he barely made it out a few times and when he came back, he was never quite the same.  A little more was taken out of him than before, as if those perfect wings were molting and he was losing just a little more of his grace each time.

I knew how this went, how helpless he was without it, I had seen it, even if it was just on a show but this was now our Cas and I wasn’t going to let him keep doing what he intended to do.  He wanted to make things right, he wanted to show Sam and Dean that he could protect us, but he was going about it all the wrong way, by putting himself in danger and weakening himself as well.

I had to find a way to stop this and I knew I had to do it soon.

~~~~~

Above the noise of my own blood rushing through my veins, I could hear the rhythmic tick of the wood against the padded pole as I went through the drills I had started with a cane.  I had been tripped up during a ghost hunt, one that almost got me a broken leg but I had been lucky enough to escape, only because the lighter had a mind of its own and _finally_ decided that catching a spark would be a good idea.

I felt the eyes on the back of me before I heard anything else and slowly I brought the cane down standing it beside me as I turned and looked at the suited angel.  Cas looked me over, sports bra, leggings and wooden staff beside me and he gave me a questioning expression.

“Cas, what are you doing here? It’s the middle of the day.” I watched his face grow stoic and I swallowed. “Did something happen to the boys? To Danni?”

“No, and no, all three of them are fine, but there is something we need to talk about.” I placed the staff beside the post and walked over, grabbing a towel as I went.  “Ali, something is coming.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that when Crowley made a deal with my grandmother to keep me safe, so tell me something I didn’t know.”  I sat on the chair across from him and sighed.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap, Sam has been radio silent for three days and it’s bothering me.”

“They’re in New Mexico,” he replied, his eyes narrowing, “if I remember correctly Chupacabras weren’t actual monsters, but from what I understand that’s what they’re after.”

“Anything can be a monster, Cas, you should get that by now.” I smiled and watched as he nodded in agreement.  “So, this thing that’s coming?”

“It’s not good,” I wanted to roll my eyes at him, I really did, but he could already see my frustration as I watched his lips grow thin. “Remember what I told you, about their past, about the differences in the timeline, the way the Sam and Dean on the show were compared to the ones we have in our reality.”

“Yeah, who would forget that little bit of information?” It was a story that would come to light sooner than any of us realized and the repercussions of it could be catastrophic, but I kept that to myself as I watched the glow in his blue eyes.  “What do you need me to do, Cas?”

“When Sam comes, and he will, you need to go with him. It is imperative that the four of you are together in order for this to work.”  He stood and headed towards the door. “They need to keep you safe.”

“So, it’s one of those things again? Our lives are in danger, in swoop the Winchesters to save our asses?”  I questioned.

“No,” his growled deeply, “it’s more like we need you and Danni to save ours.”

And with that, he was gone.  I reached for the phone, hit Danni’s speed dial and listened as she picked up the line.

“Al? Everything okay?” Was what I got from the other end. As I moved into the research room, I stared up at the three full walls of research into our family and I sighed.

“I think it’s beginning,” I answered and stopped at the last piece of paper on the board, an old certificate, one that outlined a blade, a set of blades actually. It not only gave the dimensions of them the magical properties as well. On the paper was the symbol that I had been warding my house with, that kept my research room hidden from prying eyes and it contained a blood magic that I was deathly afraid of, the AO-III symbol graced the paper and the blades.

I heard Danni sigh on the other end, and I knew that she was just as worried about this as I was.  She had seen the symbol, she had read the inscription, she knew the history just as well as I did, but there was one thing that I hadn’t told her, that I didn’t tell Sam and I really needed to before it was too late.

With one last look at the paper, I closed my eyes.

~~~~~

June 21st was fast approaching, a week away. The summer solstice had things in the area in full swing.  The little town I lived in celebrated the longest day of the year with all sorts of festivities, the problem was, I wasn’t in the celebrating mood. The kids were off to spend three weeks with their father, my oldest was touring colleges and I was home alone.

I stood in the research room again, looking over more documents that Castiel had managed to drop off from various sources.  Danni had been by earlier that week but I knew she was out on a hunt with the boys somewhere in the south so I hadn’t seen her since Monday, it was now the weekend.

Grabbing the bottle of soda from the table, I wiped off the water ring that was left on the paper it had sat on, cursed at my luck, before heading up to the kitchen. I had just topped the stairs, was about to step into the kitchen when I noticed the shadow outside the front door.

Before the doorbell even rang, I had the door flung open and I stood in shock as I looked at the man before me. Sam turned, the smile fading from his face as his eyes glanced over me and the tears welled up in my eyes, a completely unexpected reaction to seeing him, but that didn’t stop me from also being completely confused.

“Sam,” I whispered breathlessly and felt his arms wrap around me, holding me close as I shut my eyes tight and took in everything I could about him, the way he felt, the way he smelled and the way his lips began to travel from my neck to capture my mouth in a heated kiss. 

God how I missed this!!!

When he released me, which was something neither of us wanted, it was after we had moved the show inside and I found myself sitting on his lap on my living room couch, his hands tangled in my hair as I touched his face, going over every curve, and noticing a few new scars.

“This is going to sound bitchy and all sorts of screwed up because this is what I want more than anything,” I started rambling as I ghosted over him, trying to memorize every last part, “but what are you doing here?” I listened to him sigh.

“Something’s happened, Ali, and I need you to come with me,” he whispered, but his eyes were pleading with me to understand that this wasn’t something I could say no to, something I didn’t want to say no to.

“Sam, what’s going on?”

“We got a lead on Dad,” Sam spoke softly and sighed, “in Virginia.” I closed my eyes at the news, another part of the research had been right and there was nothing Danni or I could do to stop it now, I just hoped she was ready for what came next because everything pointed to one conclusion. “Dean and Danni are waiting there for us now.”

A shock went through me. Why were they there now, what had happened that would have lead them to Virginia and the place where it had all started, at least for us?  I feared for all of us now, feared for everything we had become, that we had done and I was terrified for what we were about to do, but there was no way to stop it.

On June 21st, the world would welcome the longest day of the year and the darkest day in the history of the war between heaven and hell.

God help us all!!

To be continued in Dark Hunters: God Killers.

Tomorrow we start the adventure of the real Ali and Danni (me and Deb, the very first chapter of the book begins at 8:43 tomorrow night in a Waffle House in Ohio, check out @dgray3994 on Twitter to watch for all the fun pictures and videos as we travel the route that Danni, Ali, Sam and Dean take. We even have an abandoned hospital....ooh spooky)


	34. Dark Hunters: God Killers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June 21st is approaching fast, but what is the mystery behind it, and what did it have to do with us? Danni and I try to figure out how our families are connected but a job in Virginia brings us closer than ever to the truth and possibly the end. With the Winchesters at our side, the only way we can stop this is by delving into the past and keeping an eye on the future as we try to handle what's right in front of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola, Mishamigos...wait that's not right...CAST girls and CAST guys! I love you all and I hope you enjoyed the pictures from our little adventure down in Oklahoma. Wow, what a great time! questions, comments, likes and dislikes, please feel free to let me know. I hope you enjoy the next ride. Welcome to God Killers.

Dark Hunters: God Killers

Prologue

At one point in my life, well, in multiple points actually, if you had told me that the supernatural was real, if you had tried to convince me that the things that go bump in the night truly existed, I would have called you a hardball nut job and told you to get out of my face. 

As it happens, that was ONLY an off-chance couple of times, when I was at the point that I was also trying to convince myself that vampires, werewolves, demons and whatever else haunted my dreams were just that, dreams, or more to the point…nightmares otherwise I would have asked where to find it and how to kill it.

Why?

Because I was a hunter.  Not your Sam-and-Dean-Winchesters-grab-a-colt-and-run, kind of hunter but I needed to know, I wanted to know and it turns out there was a reason behind it, an ingrained-into-my-genetics reason that I wanted to know, that I sought it out, that it had a tendency to find me. And it only took one little vampire and a Winchester flying through a window for me to get the hint…and the truth.

My name is Ali Porter, single mom to three beautiful teenagers, and this was my life now.  A month and a half ago, I took a trip, a vacation and things that weren’t supposed to happen did.  

I was attacked by a vampire.

Okay, now don’t get your panties in a bunch, with the whole “you’re out of your tree” thing, I know how farfetched it sounds but let me give you a little backstory.  

Like I said, I took a trip.  I was meeting up with my Supernatural Sister, a woman who had become one of my favorite people and this was the first time we were meeting.  The way it was going to happen, a road trip. A 22-hour drive down to Oklahoma from my home state of Massachusetts, just me, the car and the road, until I decided to stop for the night.

8:43 pm… A time of night that I will never in my life forget.  It was the instant that my world went from semi-normal, because let’s face it, none of us are remotely close, to completely supernatural.  Anyway, as I was saying, at 8:43 pm on Friday night, after nearly eleven hours of driving, I had pulled into my motel, gotten my room and headed to the Waffle House in the town close to West Jefferson, Ohio.  Yes, breakfast that late at night, don’t judge.

Two men in the last corner both caught my eye, one rugged, short haired with the eyes of a predator. Green eyes that stared at me like I was his next meal, or conquest. I never gave him the chance to find out.  The second man, longer, brown hair, that he kept annoyingly pushing behind his ear to keep out of his face, which I didn’t get a good look at until he turned to me and all I saw was a dream. His eyes were ever-changing and his face seemed to follow suit but this man made my whole-body shiver, though to be honest, at the time I was about to freak out because the two men now looking at me were not supposed to be there.

You see the reason that I was so caught up in the familiarity of the two was because of the television show “Supernatural”, come on, you have to have at least seen or heard of it, I mean if not just ask a fan and you will never go back, but I digress, and we’re back on track.  Yeah, two real life versions of the actors on a television show was pretty unnerving to experience but when they pulled out of the parking lot in the CAR that was on the show, my deal was done.

I finished my food and high-tailed it back to the motel, but there it was again, the Impala, a sleek, black 1967 beauty and I knew I was in trouble. Of course, when the taller of the two, Sam Winchester, stepped out of the room and caught my eye, I knew things had just gotten worse, and being on the phone with Danni Danvers, my sister in Oklahoma, yeah, that explanation was going to go over so well.

I managed to get into the room and lock the door, letting Danni talk me into going to bed, before I decided that I was going to shower but a knock came at the door and with my spectrum blade in hand, I answered only to find Sam standing there shyly telling me that my headlight was out just so he could get a better look at me. By the way, I didn’t let him live it down either.

After a few hours of sleep, that was when the night took a turn to the dark side.  

Imagine waking up and having a man sail through your window.  Take it one step further as he lay there bleeding, while a fanged monster tried to attack, as he desperately attempted to protect you.  Add in the fact that you swung, you swung a blade with the intent to kill it, to save yourself and the man who was bleeding all over your floor but you, yourself got cut.  Yeah, great shot!  Now take it to the extreme as the next minute you’re watching a blade slice through the creature from behind and you find yourself staring at the other man, knife dripping with blood as he stared at you before turning his attention to his brother.

This was Dean Winchester. And you were now really, really screwed.

Blood and guts and scrapes and cuts, and yeah, it was time to go.  Dean swore you couldn’t leave, you needed protection, that this vampire wasn’t the only one. You swore that you would be fine, that he needed to worry about Sam, needed to get him medical attention but the both of you are way too pigheaded to do anything but argue.  Until you agreed.  Agreed to stay and sew Sam up because you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him like that, agreed to follow Sam and Dean to the next safe and dry motel where you would be protected.

You agreed! And your life would never be the same.

That was just the beginning of my story, probably just the first few hours, since I honestly don’t remember the timeline but let me tell you, it only got strange from there.  Attacked by arrow-slinging vampires, kissed by Sam himself, dumbstruck at the protective and needy way that Dean always had to have some sort of contact with you, even as he was being a complete ass.  Your sister, Danni, dragged into the middle of it and while coincidences were piling up, nothing could prepare you for the cold hard truth of the matter.

Coincidences don’t just happen, and accidents, well according to Dean: don’t just happen accidentally. But this was where you found out everything.  This is where you realized that though they looked like the Winchesters from the show, there was major differences.  People died differently in this life for these two that slowly became yours, or they didn’t die at all, which throws off your whole train of thought, or timeline as it was.  The family you thought they had, the angel on their shoulder was distant, the man who was their father was alive and kicking around somewhere and the one that had helped raise them died alone in the woods somewhere hunting a changeling more than a year before they found him.

These were the differences, among other things, but these were the ones that seemed to stick with you.  They were harder, rough around the edges, no time for relationship kind of hunters. Dark hunters, but that changed with you… and Danni, you became part of them, you became the hunters.

Demons, vampires, hellhounds, witches, and life had turned itself on its own head again. You found out history, you slipped into the world you had always known you were a part of with ease, but it didn’t change the fact that once you left, once the immediate threat was over, that your life was never going to be the same.

You were what they were, a Dark Hunter.

That was my life, and it is ever changing.  That was a month and a half ago, when I knew nothing of my past, nothing of my family, and nothing of the truth about Danni and I, two strangers pulled together because the love of a show.  But life had a way of bringing those people to you that you needed and that’s when things get really weird.

When I was eight or nine my grandmother summoned a demon, not only my grandmother but Danni’s as well, and a pact was made to keep us safe, why?  Well, that we weren’t too sure of yet but as it was, the fact that Sam and Dean were real made it completely possible that everything else was true.  There was a King of Hell, and he was the one protecting us, there was an angel Castiel and his mission wasn’t only to keep Sam and Dean safe, it was also to keep tabs on the father that disappeared years before, the same John Winchester that died in the show to save Dean’s life.

These were the elements we were living with, and since the moment I returned home, I wanted to know why. Armed with research and a little help from that winged friend, Danni and I were able to put together a family tree, and found out that we really were sisters in a way, blood relatives and the last in a line that could do something… a thing that would change the world. 

Okay, not the apocalypse kind of change but something more important than two women and the only way to find out what that was, what our lives had become, was to track down John and find out for ourselves. 

Which brings us to today, and the fact that Sam was standing on my doorstep, and my heart was pounding in my chest. I had fallen in love with the man but let him go to fight alongside his brother, to keep Danni safe and by doing so keeping me safe, but I longed for him… I missed him. And he did it, once again.

With the arrival of Sam, my world turned over on its head.  With the simple words of “we’ve got a lead on Dad in Virginia and Danni and Dean are waiting,” my life was falling into the darkness of the hunt once more.

I needed the truth, I needed answers, and somewhere down south, in the small town of Winchester, both of those were waiting.

**Chapter 1**

“Something’s happened, Ali, and I need you to come with me,” he whispered, but his eyes were pleading with me to understand that this wasn’t something I could say no to, something I didn’t want to say no to. 

I was floored. What had happened? Why hadn’t Danni called and where the hell was Dean?  Taking a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, I pushed back any feelings of dread that might pop up in my voice.

“Sam, what’s going on?” Good, I pulled off curiosity like a pro… then again, I had been lying to everyone for the past month and a half, I had gotten pretty good at the blank ‘I don’t know’ stares that kept me looking innocent.

“We got a lead on Dad,” Sam spoke softly and sighed, “in Virginia.” I closed my eyes at the news, this was not good, not good at all. Another part of the research had been right and there was nothing Danni or I could do to stop it now, I just hoped she was ready for what came next because everything pointed to one conclusion. I was good with the news, that was great that they had a lead on John, it meant that maybe, just maybe Cas was communicating with them in some aspect but what came next was something I wasn’t ready for. “Dean and Danni are waiting there for us now.”

A shock went through me. Why were they there now, what had happened that would have led them to Virginia and the place where it had all started, at least for us? He watched as I sat back, couldn’t hide the fear now, couldn’t close myself off from whatever the hell I was feeling because it was all floating to the surface and he was front row center for the flash of emotions that went over me.  

I watched his brow furrow as I tried to shake it off, but there was no use, Sam had seen through my guise, he knew now that I was holding back some information, but how pissed was he going to be when I shared it?  I took a deep breath, slid from his lap and sat on the coffee table across from him. He had to know some of it, at least, maybe all and I debated quietly as I bit down on my lip.

I feared for all of us now, feared for everything we had become, that we had done and I was terrified for what we were about to do, but there was no way to stop it.

~~~~~

The shrilling noise of the phone and the fact that it was Dean’s name on the caller ID was the only reason that Sam even ventured the thought of leaving me in the house, but he knew, hell I knew, that Dean wouldn’t let up until his brother answered and Sam shook his head as he moved outside to take the incoming call.

At the glass door, I watched him lean against the Charger, some metallic blue color that looked strangely familiar and I wondered if he hadn’t stolen it from a friend of mine.  I felt the sadistic smile on my face before I shook it off, what was wrong with me that I would have found that funny, but it didn’t matter, there was no way that something like that would happen, it would be too much of a coincidence to start up with the “you’ll never guess what happened” crap.

The sound of something from the research room had me turning towards the basement door.  Grabbing the knife from one of the jackets that hung in the hallway, I made my way down the stairs, the automatic lights popping on as I went,  before I stopped just in arms reach of the door.  I paused, thinking maybe I had imagined the whole thing, but at once,  pressed against the panel that released the door and allowed the blood magic to work its way through the room.

As I pushed the door slowly open, the auto lights within the warded walls sprang to light and I found myself looking at the backside of an angel without a suitcoat.  The missing article of clothing was tossed over the back of one of the rolling chairs that occupied the table full of information but Cas kept his back to me as he loosened his tie.

I stepped inside and sighed, loudly, trying to capture his attention. Mission accomplished as he turned, completing the task with the tie as he did. I closed the door before I spoke and clicked on the fan with a push of my toes, letting the noise reduction machine start to spin, filling the room with white noise.

“You realize that Sam is right upstairs, right?” I questioned, stepping up to him. We couldn’t have been more than two feet apart, keeping our voices low as he looked down at me with hardened blue eyes, an angry look on his face.  “And what the hell, Cas, you let them go to Virginia?”

“I had no choice in the matter,” he answered sternly and looked away from me, which told me one thing, Cas was hiding something.

“Spit it out!”  I snapped and watched his eyes suddenly focus on me once again.  “I swear Cas, I will kick you so hard your wings will go limp for weeks, so whatever you’re holding back, you need to spill it.”

“Sam needs to know,” he whispered and waited as I gave him my best shocked expression.  Yeah, I knew that Sam was going to need to be brought up to speed.  “Ali, I mean he needs to know everything.”

Okay, so fake shock replaced by real shock and I crossed my arms, closing my eyes to take a moment to remain composed.  

“You want me to tell Sam  _ everything _ ?” I whispered, and opened them to match blue with blue.  “How much of losing your grace is affecting your mind?”

“I haven’t lost it, at least not all of it,” he replied and I locked my lips shut.  “I’m still strong enough to protect you all from John, but Danni and Dean need every advantage you have, which means telling Sam everything, right down to the facts that you found out about him.”

“I can’t do that, Cas,” I sighed, thinking about everything that I had learned about the Winchester family in this timeline, in this real-life situation.  It wasn’t exactly like the boys on the show, in fact, those boys had it a lot easier than the man who was standing outside my house talking to his brother.  “How can I tell him that the demon who killed his mother is connected to my family?”

“We never suspected this was going to be easy,” Cas grumbled and I raised a brow at him.  He was giving me the speech, the whole “take one for the team” deal. Growling at him, I turned and stepped over towards the charts that graced the wall.  “Everything you gathered, all of the documents and the time spent learning your history, has brought you to this moment.  Ali, Sam deserves to know the truth, and not the way that John Winchester described it.”

“I can’t just tell Sam and not Dean, Cas, how fair would that be?”  With a deep breath, I turned to look at him.  “I will tell him, when we get there, when the brothers are in the same room, I promise you but I’m not going to drag him into a family feud that’s been going on for centuries just because their father happens to be involved.  Don’t you think they’ve been through enough?”

“More than anyone,” he answered and I knew that he cared but what could either of us do to prevent what was about to come next.  I lowered my eyes to the floor and let my thoughts gather before I felt Cas’ hand on my shoulder.  “Ali, you were chosen for this task for a reason, you were given the knowledge and the power for a purpose, and it’s up to you how to use it, but you have to decide soon.”

“I don’t know if I can, Cas,” I admitted and looked up to meet his gaze.  “I just got Sam back, he’s finally here and already the supernatural is screwing it up.”

“It’s not ‘screwing’ it up, Ali, it’s making it right. You and Danni are destined to fix this whole screw up.”

“I don’t want to fix anything, Cas, I just want Sam.”  I rubbed my hand against my forehead.  “You know weeks ago, you said that Sam being so close to me was going to feed the darkness in him, that Dean was the one keeping him stable, that it was the reason that Dean always kept me so close and now you’re telling me, what? Let him in on every secret that I have, including the screwed up lies that John told him?  How is that going to help him? How is that not going to break what little self-control he has left.  I won’t bring out the demon in him, Cas, I refuse.”

“Do you understand the ramifications of not letting go of these secrets?  You, yourself have the research right in front of you, the evidence that what is coming is more than any of you can handle.  Things are about to get ugly and if you don’t have every player at your side, Ali, I’m afraid of the consequences.”

“You can’t pop in here and change the storyline on me,” I huffed but I knew he was right, whatever was coming was big and I needed all the help I could get to actually get through it.  Damn him for being such a pain in my ass, and damn him more for being right. Sam needed to know, as much as I could tell him anyway, and Dean needed to know the real reason why his father lied to him.  I took a deep breath and looked up at Cas, placing my hands on my hips.  “Go,” I whispered and watched as he grabbed his coat. “Go before Sam comes down her and finds you, I’ll figure something out and we’ll be on the way as soon as I get some things straightened out.”

“Very well,” he grumbled and moved towards the door, not that he would ever make it that far without popping out.

“And, Cas,” I snapped, watching as he turned with a scowl on his face, “make sure my sister stays safe.”

“I’ll check in with her as soon as I get back to Virginia,” he growled and I rolled my eyes, letting the sound of his wings whoosh him from the room.  Dammit, I had forgotten to ask him what the hell was up with the name of the town, because Winchester, Virginia, not weird at all

I was about to head out the door when I looked up and found Sam standing on the doorway, one hand on either side of the frame, pretty impressed by the room.  With a smirk, I placed some of the papers I had collected down on the table once more and leaned against it. 

“You can come in, it’s warded against pretty much anything except Winchesters.” I Laughed as he nodded and stepped into the room.  

He looked like someone at a museum, holding his hands behind his back as he slowly stepped around, checking out the information on the board.  I crossed my arms and just followed his movements, not moving away from the table as he took it all in, but the one thing I did do was cover the documents on the table, the ones that dealt with the blades and the symbols. The mythology that surrounded June 21 st .

“Is this your whole family tree?”  He questioned, and I nodded, before I took a step forward, to stand beside him at the wall, the part where the original information sat. The Ellis connection dead in front of him.  “Where did you get all this?”

“Internet mostly, you know Ancestry and stuff, but some of it I actually found in my father’s house.  Who knew my grandfather was such a history buff, as it is, some of Danni’s family line is mixed in so finding stuff about her side of the funny farm wasn’t all that hard either.” I shrugged and took a minute to look at either side of the Ellis name.  “Andrus goes back to the same time as my grandmother’s maiden name, Carrion back to colonial Virginia in the mid-1600s.”

Sam gave me a bit of his normal curious head tilt and I couldn’t help but smile as I looked him over.  It had been a month and a half since I had seen him, in person, but probably less than a week since our last video call, but he had changed, he was just a little darker, something that only someone close would catch up on, and damn did it make him sexy as hell.

I didn’t realize I was daydreaming, even as I looking him over, and that my guard was down enough so that I never saw him move, not until I found myself staring at his chest.  I felt the light touch of his fingers as he brushed the back of his knuckles against my cheek and I closed my eyes, longing for that touch, wanting nothing more than to never have it leave my skin against.

It was so much more intense when he opened those fingers wide and slipped them behind my neck as his free fingers ran over the length of my shoulder and down to my collar bone.  Oh, how I had missed this.  His hand tangled in my hair, giving me a little tug that only managed to get a moan from my lips as I let out a breath, suddenly his lips were on mine.

They were almost bruising, but soft, claiming me as I reached up and fisted his shirt with both hands, pulling him closer.  We had kissed when he first arrived but this, this was so full of want and passion, I almost forgot where I was.  

Sam’s hand moved from my neck to my waist, the other still holding me where he wanted me while the other effortlessly brought up me up onto the table. I felt him settle between my legs, and released him to let my hands wander over his toned stomach.  Sam had lost some weight but he had gained muscle and I for a split-second I wondered about his health but that second quickly faded when his tongue ghosted over my lips.

I yanked at his shirt, pulling it up to get better access to his skin and I felt him laugh against me, but his kiss ceased as his hand moved from my hair to the hem of my shirt.

“You wanna move this somewhere else?” Sam’s breath brushed over me and I stared up at the need in his eyes, which probably matched mine in intensity. 

“Just push it on the floor,” I whispered not taking my eyes off the man that held me and watched his mouth turn up in a devious grin for just a moment before his lips came crashing down on me once more.

It was a whirlwind of clothing, kisses and frantic need, and before I could breathe, he was slipping into me, filling me with every emotion that I had been wanting since the moment I let him go back to his brother and Danni.  He was slow, gentle and methodic, pulling sounds from me that I had either forgotten that I made or never heard cross my lips before.

My fingers clenched into his skin, digging into his shoulders as he moved in me and against me.  Need, want, lust and pure pleasure kept us going but the end, the fact that we had been apart for so long, came too hard and too fast.  Before either of us knew what was happening, I was tightening around him, my lips leaving his as I cried out following it over. 

Sam’s mouth brushed against my neck, and as his hand slid down my back, bracing me as he thrust forward, his teeth bit down on my skin, suckling there as he left a mark, almost in the same spot at the first one that took me weeks to recover from.  The sharpness of the pain, added to the pleasure that tingled through the rest of my body, had my legs wrapping tighter around him as I grasped a handful of his hair, not to pull him away but to use as leverage to bring my own lips to the side of his neck.

There was no way I was going to mark the man but just to feel his skin beneath my kiss, to lavish in the way he tasted and smelled as I felt him swell and come completely undone as he stiffened, sent all of my senses reeling and sent me plummeting over the edge one more time, something only Sam was able to accomplish.

Not sure how he managed to even stay standing on shaking legs, or how he maneuvered well enough to get us from the table to the chair, where he held me on his lap, still straddling him as I let my legs loosen, hanging down over his thighs as he wrapped one arm around my waist, tugging me against him as much as he could without being inside me again.

I placed both hands on his chest and closed my eyes as I pressed my cheek against the thump of his heart.  I felt safe again, safer than I had since Cas popped him out of my room, safer than the moment the last ward went up, safer than I had ever felt before I met him. The fingers of his free hand moved over my back, tracing my spine, my ribs and curiously focusing on the small scars that weren’t there before and I felt him breathe in as if he had just realized what he was feeling.

My eyes really weren’t focused on anything as I opened them and waited, just waited for him to get where they had come from. I heard him swallow seconds before his lips pressed against the top of my head and his embrace tightened.

“I didn’t want this life for you,” he whispered, as if he had a choice in the matter.  

“We all choose our own paths, Sam,” I snuggled against him, my hands now tucked between us as I shivered, my body starting to come down from the high and the heat.  

“What the hell have you been hunting?” his voice wasn’t scolding, it was more of an acknowledgement than anything and I gave him a little shrug.

“Whatever Carol sends me that’s local.”

Sam sighed, his hand leaving my back to move my hair from my shoulders and my face so that he could touch my cheek without hindrance.  Crap! Talking about hunting reminded me of what I needed to do and that we needed to go and with that I sat back, looking into his eyes.

“Why are you in Virginia?” I watched as he let his head fall back, hitting the wall with a thud and he let out a breath.

“People were dying and it just looked like one of our kind of cases, so we went down,” he started and his arm let up, allowing me to out just a little space between us.  

“And,” I whispered, “is it your kind of case?”

“Yeah, but it’s more than we can handle and Danni had a total freak out, she said that we had to come get you, so here I am,” he brought his eyes up to stare into mine, and I watched them darken. “If I had known you were hunting, Ali, I would have come to get you so much sooner.  I thought you were safe, I thought… it doesn’t matter what I thought, I should have been here.”

I smiled and put my hands on his cheeks, holding his face still as I scanned his eyes, hoping that darkness would leave but he was kicking himself and there was nothing I could do to stop him from feeling guilty for not being here except to remind him that it was my choice.

“I told you to go to your brother, to be with him and hunt, Sam, this isn’t on you.” I smiled and watched as his walls went up.  “How could you have known unless I told you, and guess what, I didn’t want you to know, so now we’re standing at an impasse, the one where you either stop kicking yourself or accept what I’m doing.”

“I’m supposed to keep you safe,” he whispered and I watched those walls tumble. Yep, I had gotten through.

“And you did, you kept them away, but what do you and Dean always say? It’s in your blood, well, guess what, it’s in mine too.” I kissed him quickly and slid from his lap, suddenly missing the closeness, but I reached a hand to him and beckoned with my fingers.  “Come on, let’s get dressed. There’s somewhere I have to go and someone you have to meet.”

Sam grinned, took my small hand in his and stood.  Thank God the kids weren’t home because we decided that clothes weren’t necessary as we made our way up to the second floor, the shower and the bedroom so that I could pack.

And so it begins… again.


	35. DH God Killers - 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Sam was back, which excited me more than you can imagine, but per usual, when you suddenly get a Winchester in your lap, that's when things start to get just a bit more interesting.

**Chapter 2**

I placed the phone to my ear, turned away from the window where I had been standing watching Sam yet again leaning on the Charger with the cell stuck to his ear and an overprotective brother on the other line, but I had my own overprotective sibling on speed dial and her and I needed to have a little chat.

The line picked up but it took a moment of listening to the scrabbling before I heard a sigh on the other end.

“Ya done yet?”  I grumbled as she finally settled down somewhere, probably the bathroom because I heard the door close.

“Well, good freaking morning to you too,” she snotted back and I couldn’t help the smile that crossed my face.

“Morning, really? Cause, I’m pretty sure this is the second time since he got here that your Winchester has been up my Winchester’s ass.”  I stated sarcastically and she snorted, which made me realize what I said, “ugh, seriously, that’s not what I meant.”

“So, Sammy made it,” Danni laughed and I struggled to find a comfortable position on the couch where I could see the man through the glass.  It was bad enough that he was there and so far away, but the parking lot was far enough away from the house that I wasn’t positive on the strength of the wards to protect him.

“Yeah, way to let me in on the plan by the way,” I scolded and listened to her laugh, but it quickly faded.

“Hey, I was just as shocked as you were on that one.”

“Well, that’s a crock of crap!” I sighed and got up, yeah so needed coffee for this because I was pretty sure it was too early in the day for what else I really wanted. After stopping to check out the man at the car, and admire him just a little more, I took a sip of the hot liquid and made my way back to the couch.  “So, spill it, sister!  What has you sending Sammy so far north that it leaves you and PITA in Virginia alone, and really, of all places to end up at this time of year.”

“Okay, just slow your roll, chicky,” Danni sighed and I could almost picture her sitting there rubbing her forehead, which seemed to be her niche when she was getting frustrated at my barrage of questions. “For one, I didn’t really have a choice, Cas kind of convinced me that you being here was a better, safer alternative than you being up there alone, so Sam was the obviously choice to go even though the pain in my ass wanted to bolt out the door as soon as bringing you here was mentioned.” I could hear the irritation in her voice, and I knew that it bothered her that he was so gung-ho about coming to get me.  He was still hyped on our connection, and probably jonesing for a fix, not that I could say I blamed him, it had been just as long as Sam since I saw him.  “Anyway, so, if Cas is insisting you come there, something big is going on.”

“So, what is it?”

“You’re guess is as good as mine except the Summer Solstice is a week away and everything started in Virginia is prophesized to go down there as well.”

I grabbed the laptop from the coffee table and flipped open the lid, hoping to see some sort of file from Carol on the leads I had sent her, and true to form, she delivered.  As soon as the machine was powered up, the messages were coming though.  More information on the town of Winchester and oddly enough, our family line was popping out at me as scanned PDF files. Stowing the family files for just a few, I brought up the latest clippings on Winchester, Virginia and listened to Danni start to explain.

“We came down here on a whim that the deaths might be our kind of thing,” she started.

“Yeah,” I sighed as I looked at the headline of the first article: **Local Man Kills Wife and Self in a Murder/Suicide,** “looking at the first paragraph I could have told you this was your _kind of thing_.” I went on to the next article and my curiosity grew, they all involved the same kind of MO, man or woman going off the rails without warning. “So, give me some of the supernatural side of this boring news story.”

“The supernatural side… cute,” I heard her grunt just before the front door opened and Sam walked in, half smile on his face that faded as he looked at my open laptop and the phone on my lap.  “So, here’s the deal, we get some info on this case from some text that Sam received, and poof we’re here checking it out but the funny thing is, we can’t get a lead on anything that goes bump.”

“Wait, you got nothing?”  Sam sat down on the small couch across from me and through my peripheral I could see him sit back and use the arm to rest his elbow on, running his finger across is lips and my first thought was I hope he washed his hands… again, before I shook my head and turned back to the articles before me, my body betraying my thoughts a shiver ran up my spine. Yeah, Sam and his hands, all sorts of sin…but back to work.  “So, why the hell are you still down there if you got nothing, and why the hell did you send tall, dark and handsome my way, not that I’m complaining about the last part.”

“It took us a few days to catch onto what we had going on here, but we finally figured it out.  A new antiquities store opened up in town just days before the deaths started.”

“You thinking cursed object or vengeful spirit?” I questioned, but I caught Sam’s small shake of his head.

“Neither,” Danni answered and the door in the background opened.  She sounded a little further away as she moved through the room and finally the phone clanked down on the table.  I heard the clicking of keys as she loaded up the laptop and somewhere Dean cleared his throat.  “Do you know the history of Jordan Springs?”

“Name rings a bell, just not sure which tone though,” I answered but really wasn’t kidding, I knew I had heard the name before but couldn’t quite place it. The only reason I had started to research it in the first place was because that was where Cas had told me the kids were to begin with, and that was only a few hours before. Carol, the computer wiz, of course, was right on top of it.  “Moving on though, give me what you got.”

“Well, Jordan Springs is more of a resort than a town, but this is where it gets weird, you know it’s in Winchester, Virginia right?” I heard Dean scoff in the background and looked over at Sam who just kind of gave me a wave of his hand and a roll of his eyes. 

“Yeah I got that, pretty freaky,” I replied and switched positions, placing the laptop on the table.  “So what, it’s a little unincorporated blip on the bigger picture?”

“So, get this,” she started and I watched Sam put his head back against the wall as I smiled, “Jordan Springs is about four miles from town, not what brought us down here but okay, we’re going to go with it. So, the actual place is a resort, three buildings 48k on footage and some massive amount of paranormal activity.”

“Huh, ghost central?” 

“Yeah from 1549, according to the website.”

“Great, not just ghost central but native American territory, perfect.” I shook my head and took a sip of the coffee. 

“Yeah, there’s more,” I heard the sound of papers leaving the table and then quick slap of fingers against skin and Dean spouting off obscenities in the background. Danni laughed and tapped the phone.  “So… here’s what we got, the new store in town, ah Haywards Place, I believe it’s called, received a shipment of good from the Jordan Springs Resorts sights less than four days before the killings, one day before it opened its doors to the public.”

“Right, just enough time to set the place up and make it absolutely impossible for anyone to find anything of real value in it, or anything that might have a curse because just about everything in the store has some sort of story behind it,” I sighed, “perfect.  Moving on.”

“Well, we can narrow it down from everything in the store to at least less than a dozen items, but we’re pretty sure we know which one it is, problem is, we don’t have anyone that can read it, so we’re not sure if it’s actually sigils or someone just doodled on it.”  Danni switched to a Skype call that came through my laptop and I was able to pick that up while hanging up the cell.  She glanced around the room behind me.  “You’re awful Sammy-less.” 

“He’s on the other couch,” I smiled looking up at the man who was now stretched out with his eyes closed, head back and hands folded together on his stomach.  “Guess I wore him out, you got something to show me?”

“Just this,” she held up a print out of the mirror, and I shook my head. “Apparently, it was a gift to the original owners of the first Hotel when it was put up back in the 1830s, the name of the hotel, and get this cause it’s just too much of a kick in the ass, the White Sulfur Springs Resort.”

“Really?  I mean we know demons aren’t the smartest bunch of coconuts, but white sulfur?”  I shook my head again but that mirror just seemed to stick in my mind.  “Okay so, probably cursed object.”

“Possibly,” she shrugged and continued flipping through screens. “So the mirror was moved to each hotel over the years until it ended up in the basement of the Jordan building, sometime in early 01’ when the new owners bought it.  The thing was in 194 when a W.H.M Stover bought the place, it suddenly became pretty profitable. Not saying what exactly was going on there, but it hasn’t stayed a hotel.  It’s been a boarding house, and among other things a Catholic Monastery and Seminary from 53’ to 72’, after that who knows but it switched hands again in 2001 and that was when they started cleaning house.”

“So new owners, new construction, and mirror ends up in the basement of the demonic little piece of paradise until however many days ago when it ends up in an antique shop.” I recapped and watched as she gave a nod.  “Hmm, got pictures of these sigils?”

She picked up her phone and turned the camera in my direction. I tried to hold my face the best I could as recognition of the drawings etched into the wood crossed through my mind, and I must have done a pretty good job because she set the phone down.

“Have you sent it to Carol?”  I questioned and watched her brows go up.

“You really think that’s a good idea?”

“What’s the use in having a computer wiz when you can’t send her the crazy stuff, besides our usual one is sleeping on my couch at the moment, and I’m guessing since the three of you couldn’t figure it out, our little Sammy here, doesn’t have the stuff to get that deep.”  I replied and watched as Danni nodded.

“You’re right, I’ll send it off to her.” Danni took a deep breath and slowly released it.  “Get that man up and get on the road before this one has a coronary and calls again.”

“Will do,” I laughed and shook my head.  “Maybe you can find something to distract him for a little while.”

“It’s an eight-hour drive, how much stamina do you think I have?”  She laughed and I winked.

“Orange juice, my friend,” I grinned and glanced over at the clock.  “Gotta run. Jones is closing in an hour, gotta catch him while he’s there and aware.”

“Gotcha,” she smiled, “and Ali, hurry up and get here.”

“I’m working on it.” I watched as she nodded, reached out and shut down the call. I finished packing, managed not to set off the car alarm and made it back into the house in time to see Sam sit up quickly and look around.  His eyes were filled with worry as he looked from the couch to me and slowly I sank down beside him on the cushion. “Sam? What is it?”

“Just a dream,” he whispered, running a hand over his face, as he cleared his throat, “I guess I was tired.”

“I know how hard it is to travel without a co-pilot, especially for a drive that long,” I reached up and ran my hand through his hair as he slowly sank back onto the couch. So, the “just a dream” had me curious because with Sam, nothing was ever just a dream, there was always something behind it, but with what I knew about him, I couldn’t come right out and say that, he wasn’t the one who told me his past, Cas did.  I sighed and let the feeling of my fingers sooth him.  “You can sleep on the way down, or you can try to go back to sleep, your pick. I have to go into town though before we head south.”

“I’m good,” he lied, and leaned into my touch as I placed my hand on his cheek.  I gave him my best “bullshit” smile and kissed him softly on the lips, feeling his hand slip around to tangle in my hair.  This was something that we were good at, touching, kissing, general loving but when it came to secrets, the two of us managed to hold our own.  He pressed one soft kiss against my lips again before he backed away. “So, where’s this stop we have to make?”

“The Ware Gun Shop,” I answered and watched as he looked at me in confusion.  “You’ll see when we get there.”

~~~~~

It was a small little building, and if it were attached to anything but the second-floor apartment, it would be considered a little hole-in-the-wall store, because the outside really needed a paintjob, the sign was falling apart, which was fine because it was only the words painted on an old piece of pressed ply-wood, but looks can be deceiving.

Sam stood in front of the Charger, staring up at the sign, checking out the exterior of the place and I knew he was looking for something other than the obvious signs that _this_ was just a gun shop.  I closed my door, grabbing the black and tan duffel out of the backseat and walked up to stand beside him.

“How did you find this guy again?”  He questioned as we waited for traffic.  The gun shop happened to be situated on a busy part of the street where there was little to no parking but managed to stay in business for decades, and those facts alone had Sam curious.

“Looking for a rare item,” I replied and took his hand as I stepped out into the traffic that had momentarily stopped.  Yep, this was one of those places that if you’re body wasn’t in motion, the cars weren’t stopping to let you go, no matter what the street sign said. Once safely on the sidewalk in front of the shop he noticed the small sigils in each corner of the windows, blended in with the pinstriped boarder and shook his head.  “Come on, Jones won’t bite, I promise.”

Who was I kidding?  This was Sam Winchester, if anything I should be warning Jones that Sam wasn’t going to bite but when the door opened at the sound of the cowbell that echoed through the shop, Sam stopped, impressed by the number of weapons that lined every inch of the walls and the different equipment that was shelved around the room, making it almost a maze to get to the counter.

“Just a minute!” A man’s rough voice called from the back. 

I placed the duffel on the counter as I leaned on it and watched Sam make his away around the shop.  I knew what he was looking for, and it wasn’t guns, ammo and knives.  He was looking for the wards.

Jones, a bearded man with thin wired glasses and a biker vest over his dingy gray tee-shirt, stepped out from behind a curtain that covered the backroom and suddenly he stopped. His hands were in the motion of drying off on the towel that hung from his belt and though I would love to say that my presence was the thing that had him stopping on the dime, I knew that it wasn’t, as his eyes settled on the 6’5” man that made his way around the shop.

“Hey, Angel,” Jones greeted me and I heard more than saw Sam whip around at the endearment, which had me smiling, but it was Jones’ hand at the ready to pull the gun at his hip that made me stand up straight and raise my fingers, a gesture that gave the all clear sign to the man behind the counter.  Michael Jones stepped closer to me, Sam still in his sights as he stopped, the counter between us, and he rested his lower arms on the glass, letting Sam see he was unarmed. “It’s not Sunday, you ain’t off to church, so what brings you in?”

Sunday was a code word for “you shouldn’t need supplies”, and church was more along the lines of “there’s nothing to hunt”, so I knew his curiosity was peaked. I smiled at him, grinned back at Sam and reached for my bag.  Unzipping it, I flipped the thing open. 

One side was lined with straps, holding in various weapons like stakes, crosses, a few Walthers, some mags tucked into the mesh zippered part.  The other sides also had straps but carried rolls of tubed DMB (Dead Man’s Blood), large vials of salt, holy water and other neat little ghost deterrents, plus a few rosaries and multiple daggers, all of magical quality, but here was one empty space that was missing it’s occupant, and that’s what I needed.

“Ah, I see what you need,” he smiled and walked back behind the door as Sam approached, never seeing my “first-in” bag as I liked to call it, but he didn’t see the most important piece, the brown, leather-bound journal that was tucked into the inside of the front zipper part. That one book had everything in it, ever hunt I had done, ever explanation of how I had gotten here, and most importantly, how to get rid of anything that came my way. Jones returned, stopped again to look at Sam, who was standing protectively behind me, before setting the wrapped item on the counter.  “By the way, your manners suck, Porter!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I was getting tested on how well I played with others,” I replied casually and glanced up at the man behind me.  “Sam Winchester, Michael Jones, hoarder of rare and hard to find objects.”

“Hoarder? Really?” Jones scoffed, “yeah, now I know you haven’t had your morning coffee, or your afternoon tea.”  I smiled at his joke, because yeah, no one here does afternoon tea. He stuck out a hand to Sam. “Purveyor of supernatural items, hunter and all round go to guy, because your girl… is very needy.” Sam smiled and shook his hands, still not saying a word. “That being said, she’s a damn good hunter, and one of my best customers, though she can ask for some pretty strange crap.”

“So, are you a hunter?” Sam questioned, the first real words out of his mouth and the guy behind the counter just smiled.

“Semi-retired,” he replied and tugged the vest over to show the line that ran across his left peck, right over his heart.  “Got attacked by a ghoul once, tossed into an electrical box.  It messed up my heart enough that I needed a pacemaker, so I do this for a living instead.”

“Provide for hunters?”  Sam asked, curious about the man now.

“Well, mostly just one,” Jones replied and winked at me, sending Sam’s hand protectively to the small of my back.  “There aren’t many around here anymore, which you would think we’d be swamped with them given the history of the area but, no, I’m pretty much stuck with this pain in the ass.”

“You’re all sorts of loves and hugs today, now aren’t you?”  I smiled and watched as he just grinned.  “So, is it ready?”

“God, you’re damn impatient,” he snorted and brought the wrapped item closer to me.  Slowly opening it like it was a Christmas present, I shifted the weight on my feet as the seconds ticked by until he finally reviled my spectrum blade. I reached out to grab her handle but the man behind the counters swatted it, which made me draw back rather quickly.  “Girl, you don’t go reaching in to grab a weapon without knowing anything about it first.”

I looked up at Sam, who was now grinning. Yeah, getting these two together was probably a very bad idea, but when I turned back to the man behind the counter he was looking over my knife like she was a thing of beauty.

“So, spill, what did you do to her?”  I bounced a little on my toes as I leaned in closer to check out the blade.

“Well, you can’t tell but I had her refired, this time with Holy oil, some strong incense and a few magical herbs.  The handles etched with spell work, runes from what I can gather, and I’m not talking the new age crap, I mean old world runes.  The craftmanship is in the rune work. The blades been inscribed with the last Rituale Romanum, and trust me, you’re going to need a magnifying glass to see it.  No one would ever know what they’re holding in their hands.”  He smiled like a proud dad of a football kid at one of the local junior highs but before he slid it over to me, he made sure to catch my eye, lock me there. “This isn’t a toy, Angel, seriously, this thing can do some damage to human and monster alike.”

“I just need to know if it’s going to kill demons, because vampires I get, werewolves, been there, done that,” I watched Sam’s eyes snap to me as I spoke, “but demons, Jones, that’s the important part.”

“Yeah, it will smoke them out, just like you wanted.”  His voice was dripping with concern as he turned the handle in my direction and I slowly wrapped my fingers around it, licked my lips and picked her up for the first time in a month.  She was lighter than I remembered, but the power sang through her and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Well now,” I whispered to the blade as I ran my fingers along the smooth curve, “look at you all big and badass.”

“So, you’re Sam Winchester,” Jones spoke up, leaving me to my toy as he turned his attention to the man behind me.  “I’d say that Sparkles here told me a lot about you, but I’d be lying, she keeps you pretty close to the heart, as it should be.”

“Yeah, she didn’t tell me anything about you either,” Sam replied, which meant I was getting a stern talking to when this was over.  “Semi-retired hunter that owns a gun shop?”

“Just a facade, kind of keeps the locals out of my hair about the behind the scenes.  Come on, I’ll show you.”  Jones nodded back but Sam stood firm which made the older man smile.  “Don’t worry, she’s perfectly safe from anything supernatural.”

“How can you be so sure?”  Sam was reluctant until Jones moved over to the light switch, clicked off the overhead lights and reached for a button under the counters, flipping on the black light.  I smiled at the low whistle that breathed from Sam as he looked around. Every inch of wall was covered in a sigil, and spell work and there, right above the door was a devil’s trap on the ceiling and one under the “wipe your feet Asshole” carpet that graced the doorway. 

“Like I said, perfectly safe.”  Jones flipped the lights on again, as I felt Sam’s hand on my waist, tugging me to him as he kissed me on the side of the head before walking around the counters to follow the man into the back room. 

Had I been in Jones’ back room, sure, plenty of times, but the first time always gets you.  The man had toys like you wouldn’t believe and a store room full of the most insane herbs, potions, books and blades that you couldn’t even imagine existed.

It took more than fifteen minutes for the men in my life to return from the dreaded “back room”, a hunter’s dreamland but when they did both were smiling and chattering away in low tones, probably trading horror stories that would make most people’s stomach turn but Sam and Jones were good, so I was happy.

Once again, Sam was behind me and Jones was leaning over the counter as he grabbed an envelope from below the register, sliding it towards me.  I knew what it was, more history on the blades, more knowledge to keep me safe and I tucked the blade into its spot and the folder was zipped into the bag as I closed it for later reading.

“Sam here tells me he’s stealing you for Virginia,” Jones commented and I watched as his eyes filled with concern, yep, he had read the legends too.  “What the hell am I supposed to do about the issues around here with my best hunters on the run with two Winchesters?”

“Call Pasco in Warren, he’ll be happy to help,” I grin and watched him roll his eyes.

“Pasco is as useful as a pentagram without a star,” Jones sighed and I watched Sam smile, “but I guess if I get into a tight spot, I can always call in French and his lot.”

“French?” I laughed, and shook my head.  “You’ll run out of DMB before the end of the day if you call him up.  The man coats everything in that crap.”

“Well, we all have our lube,” he grinned and I rolled my eyes.  Leave it to him to get some sort of innuendo in there, at least he waited until after he and Sam got a little better acquainted.  I watched him step around the counter as I put my hand on the bag strap.  Standing close enough to look me straight in the eyes, he took a deep breath.  “This is a bad idea, short stuff.”

“The last month and a half has been a bad idea, Jonesie,” I sighed, “but I’ve managed to stay alive.”

“Come back whole and in one piece,” he reached out and grabbed me, pulling me in for a hug, a big bear hug that almost suffocated me as I wrapped my free hand around him, but I heard him sigh and his head pick up as he looked at Sam.  “Take care of our girl, she’s the best we got up here since you boys are off traveling the west.”

“Oh, trust me, I don’t intend to let her out of my sight,” Sam answered.

“Well, ya gotta get out of the bedroom sometime if you’re going to hunt down whatever sons of bitches you’re after.” Jones snickered and let me go. I looked at him wide-eyed as he moved behind the counter but he just gave me an innocent look and shrugged.  “Hey, a man like him and a gal like you?  If you were mine, I’d have you tied to the bed, not out hunting monsters.”

“Okay!”  I exclaimed and grabbed the bag, hoisting the strap over my shoulder, “on that note, we’re out of here.  Be good, Jones.”

“Ha, you’re giving me advice, kid, that’s a new one.”  He grinned as we made our way towards the door.  “Hey Angel,” I stopped and looked back at him, “Dea-fiaigh,” he spoke in Gaelic.  I smiled at him as he wished me good hunting, and I nodded.

“Dea-fiaigh,” I replied back as Sam and I walked out the door, the cowbell jingling once more.

Sam took my hand, crossed through traffic and stopped to watch me open the passenger’s side door.  I tossed my bag in the back over the seat and looked up at him.

“Anywhere else to stop?”  I looked around the small town that we were in the center of and shook my head before he gave me a smile and slipped in.

My kids were safe, my family out of harm’s way and I was ready alright, ready to face my own demons yet again.  The Charger roared to life and I slipped in, closing the door behind me.  I gave the store one last glance and my eyes rested on the blue-green ones that stared me down as he put it in gear and pulled out into traffic.

Virginia, here we come.


	36. DH God Killers Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven hours in a car with lots of questions running through my head, yeah that could possibly be a bad thing... or not.

**Chapter 3**

Two hours into the trip south and I found myself looking at the face of a very quiet Winchester. Sam had barely said a word since we left the shop and the silence was becoming too loud.  The radio stations were getting on my nerves, and his iTunes weren’t any better, not that the songs were bad but the noise itself was almost too much.  I grabbed the bag from the backseat, pulled the folder from the main pocket and grabbed ahold of the papers that Jones had handed me.

This caught Sam’s attention as I placed the pile on my lap and began to flip though.  It wasn’t hard to figure out what he was trying to do, peek over to see what I was researching but I flipped through some of them so fast that I hoped he hadn’t seen what was on there, but that was when I stopped.

I clicked my tongue, a habit I had gotten into when I found something that either grabbed my interested or made me question just what was going on, and it usually happened during an investigation, but this was something different, this was about Easter.

“Huh,” I whispered and watched as Sam’s eyes landed on me from my peripheral view.  His gaze was flickering from the side of my face to the paper in front of me.  It was a copy of something out of an old bible, something written in a strange mixture of English and Latin and it took me a moment to decipher what it said. Of course, Sam could have picked it up and read it like a second language but when he reached for it, I pulled it further way and listened to him sigh.  “Hey, you’re the one that said I needed to work on my Latin, so back off pal!”

I heard him give a small laugh as he put his hand on my knee instead, giving it a little squeeze, before placing it back on the steering wheel. But Sam was edgy, he never liked to sit back and NOT know what was going on. I never noticed how nosey he really was.

“Alright,” he grumbled, “you’ve had enough study time, what is it?”

“Old prophecy by the looks of it.” I answered and flipped the paper over once again, before reading it just a little more.  “About Easter and Passover.”

“A prophecy about a holiday?”  Sam questioned in disbelief, and his reaction was the same as mine, “huh.”

“Okay, so this is what I got,” I shifted in the seat to face him, pulling one leg up so that I could place the papers across my lap but still watch his face.  Have I said how much I loved to watch his expressions?  Good, bad, pissed off, Sam always had the best expressions and ugh, the sexiest one was… dammit, back to the paper. “According to this…whatever it is… there’s an old prophecy about the coming of signs, and using Passover and Easter as a way to do it.  The issue is, I swear to all that is holy, it was our trip in April.”

“What?”  Sam glanced over at me, then back at the road as I continued.

“It says, and yes my Latin is still pretty crappy, pass over of the good in order to bring about the end of all, to set the wheels of time off balance and to let evil triumph over good.” I shook my head and stared at the next words in confusion.  “Easter is prophesied to bring about the rise of the demon.”

“Okay, that’s a new one,” Sam sighed as I moved passed it to the papers that were clipped behind it.

Taking I deep breath, I switched positions once more in the seat and concentrated on what the hell I was looking at.  There were more in-depths explanations on the ritual, the way that things were supposed to play out and everything that was there had me shaking in my skin.  In the hours that followed, I was caught in a whirlwind of what I would have thought was just bullshit if I hadn’t lived it myself and it wasn’t until I felt Sam steer the car off an exit that I happened to look up.

I wiped my eyes, not realizing that I had been crying, or that they were running down my face, and watched as we pulled up close to an empty rest stop, one that was graced with a picnic table and green grass, but very little in the way of scenery.  I took a breath, feeling my lungs fight the air that invaded them and slowly I put the papers into the folder.

I felt his hand at the back of my neck, fingers gently massaging the tight muscles there and it took me a moment but I turned towards him in the seat, took the hand that gripped the steering wheel and held it in my hand.

“Talk to me,” he whispered as I wiped the wetness from my cheek.  “I can’t help if you don’t tell me what is going on.”

“Well, I just read that my life has been screwed up way before I was born,” I smiled, but it wasn’t funny at all.  “Our trip, you know that one where we met, yeah all of that was foreseen, I mean not all of it, not you and me, but the way it went down. The timing, the place, hell the monsters involved, and Crowley, all foreseen, all part of this prophecy to make sure that Danni and I met, that we found each other to kick off some stupid end of the world crap that now you and Dean are dragged into the middle of.”

“Hey,” he scooted closer, or as much as he could with the console between us.  I watched Sam sigh, frustrated that he couldn’t get to me, but he grabbed the handle under the seat and kicked it as far back as it could go before he tugged me towards him.  I found myself comfortable on his lap, straddling him as I faced him while he leaned the seat back just a bit and wrapped his arms around me.  “It will all work out.”

“Man,” I whispered, trying to laugh it off before lying my cheek against his chest as he placed his hand gently on my head, his lips brushing across the top of it as the subtle on his jaw caught strands of it.  His other arm was tight across my waist, holding me as closely to him as he could as my fingers dug in, gripping his shirt.  “I thought things were scary before, I mean the whole week we were first together I don’t think I really stopped to grasp what was going on.  You were my blanket, everything I put my feelings into, you and Dean and Danni, but when I got home I needed something to keep it going, something to do to NOT think, and I started researching and hunting. Now I’ve got a second to think and I’m terrified.”

“I think you were stronger than you give yourself credit for,” Sam sighed, but his lips never left me as the hand on my waist moved up to caress my back.  “You stood up to everything thrown at you, and you saved my ass more than once, I wouldn’t change anything, except…” he paused, which made me pick my head up to look into those eyes. His fingers moved from my head to my cheek and I closed my eyes, feeling his warmth against me. “There is one thing I would change, I would go home with you.”

“Sam,” I sighed, knowing we had been over this a hundred times, and probably would a hundred more.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” his voice was cautious, as if he were about to tell me something really profound, or if this was the beginning of our relationship and he was afraid that he was going to scare me off.  I opened my eyes and sat back, thanking whoever owned this car that they hadn’t gotten the sports model and I was able to sit up comfortably without hurting my neck, but Sam continued to lay back, his hand falling from my face, gently caressing the curves of me as he finally brought both hands to rest on my thighs.  “Cas told me he gave you a little inside information about my past.”

“Wait,” I whispered, “you’re talking to Cas?”

“I’m not Dean, I don’t hold Castiel responsible for Charlie’s death, I mean, yeah I was pissed for a while and I’m still kind of pissed that he’s not giving up Dad, but Cas did everything he could to save them.” He rolled his eyes and looked out the window before turning back to me.  “Sometimes bad things happen.”

“How long?” I questioned and watched his lips turn up in that half grin that I was getting so used to seeing when he was being sneaky.

“A few days after you got home,” he sighed.  Okay, so we were both keeping secrets, because it wasn’t long after I got home that the research room started to get built, and not too long after that Danni and I were having secret meetings as I delved into the past of Azazel and the Princes. “I wanted to tell you myself, I need you to know about my past, Ali.”

“So, there’s more than what Cas told me?” I questioned and watched as he signed, closed his eyes for a moment and then rubbed them with the back of his hand. 

“A lot more,” he said with a breathless whisper, “so much more.”

I pushed his hair back with my hand, bringing it down to rest on his cheek as my thumb brushed over his lips, a gestured he sighed from and I felt him push up at me with his hips, yeah maybe that wasn’t the best time or place to be touching such sensitive areas. 

“Nothing you can say is going to scare me away, Sam, you should know that by now.” He glanced out the window at the sky before he looked up at me and his lips grew taunt.

“Ali,” my name seemed like a whisper on the wind, “I’m not a good person.”

“Hey,” I sighed, and caught his eyes, just as he was about to turn away.  “Don’t hide from me, I mean it, I love you, every part of you, even the bad stuff.”

Sam hesitated a moment before putting his hand on mine and wrapped his fingers around it gently.  “I watched a little of your show while we were apart, just to get a better sense of the Sam you knew.  He’s not me, Ali, he’s far, far from me.”

“As if I hadn’t figured that out by now,” I smiled but he didn’t return it and I sighed. 

“Your Sam grew up trying to defend things, to see the good in everything, to be the better man. He wanted more than what John wanted for him, he wanted to go to school, to become a lawyer,” and I watched that one word get the strangest look from him but he went on.  “Your Sam had a life, almost had everything, he was a good man, Ali, I wish I could be that good for you.”  He took a breath, stopping my words before I could tell him that I didn’t want that Sam, that _he_ was my Sam, the only Sam, but he continued.  “His visions started at 22 right, but I don’t remember a time that I didn’t have them.  I was so angry as a kid that there wasn’t any way to control me, I mean, Dad couldn’t, but Dean… Dean was always my rock, the one that talked me down, that put me in my place, even when I got taller than him, Dean was there.

“I was a rough kid, I didn’t know my own strength, didn’t care who I took the anger out on.  Hell, I probably killed more monsters before I was ten than Dad and Dean alone and when I went off, it was like a rocket, one that no one could stop.” I watched as the look in his eyes became far away, so much so that they darkened with his memories. “I was the best at my job, I could put anything down, I just had to be angry enough, but when I came down from it, all I wanted to do was cry and that made me even more angry.  When I was seventeen, I started going with Dean to the bars, I started picking up women, like he did, you know to let out the emotions, but the problem was, I didn’t feel any.” His eyes peeked up at me, “I didn’t feel anything for them, I just did what I wanted and walked away.”

“And you think that makes you a bad person, because you chose not to care about the girls you were sleeping with?”  I was confused about why that would make him feel the way he did, why he would be so ashamed. 

“No, the issue wasn’t that I didn’t care, Ali, it’s that I didn’t feel anything, and what I did, what I needed to do to feel, hurt people, Al, it hurt a lot of people.”  Sam took a deep breath and ran his hands back through his hair, leaving them leaning on the seat behind his head as he looked out the window again. “The first time was a woman in Detroit, she was just some random person at a bar, but, I don’t know what happened Ali, it got rough, really rough, and if Dean hadn’t come in…”

“Hey,” I touched his cheek and watched those eyes flash at me, the darkness in them swirling, but he left his hands right where they were.  Under me, I felt every muscle in his body tighten as if he were trying to control himself. “You’re right here with me, they’re just memories.”

“That’s the thing, up until you, they weren’t just memories, they were every night occurrences,” he sighed.  “You joke about whips and chains, and sharp things, but it’s not a joke, it’s not… not normal.”

“Because you have a fetish?”  I tried not to smile, but sat back a bit on his legs, his eyes scanned me over as I did so and I could see the want in his eyes.  “Yeah, that’s what it is, it’s a fetish.”

“It’s not just…” He was getting frustrated with me because he wanted me to be upset with him, but I couldn’t and he didn’t understand why. “I hurt people… women, and I scared the hell out of most of them.” Sam took a deep breath, “why do you think Dean touches you so much?”

“Because Dean has his own little fetlife deal going on, I don’t know, maybe it’s the connection.” I shrugged, but he gave a small shake of his head. “Then you tell me, why does Dean always need to touch me?”

“He wants… no, he needs to make sure that I didn’t hurt you.” Sam sounded so small at that point, not the big, badass that had saved me from vampires, not the hard hunter that put himself between me and everything that came at me, no, he sounded like a fragile man on the verge of breaking.  “Dean needs to protect you from me, just like he has protected every other woman that I’ve ever been with.  He need to know that I didn’t hurt you, that there isn’t a hair out of place.”

“Sam, you’ve never hurt me,” I reassured him and watched the corner of his mouth flicker up to almost a smile before it disappeared again.

“It doesn’t mean I didn’t want to.” He admitted and looked down at the way we were sitting, before he reached up and pushed the hair from my neck, to find that little spot that he loved so much, where his mouth had marked, and I closed my eyes as his fingers brushed against it before pressing harder.  I caught my breath, and let my lids flutter, was he trying to scare me or turn me on. “Do you know how hard it is to control myself with you?”

“And I’ve told you that you’re not going to hurt me,” I smiled as his finger pressed and I shivered, letting him see what he was doing.  “Keep it up and we’re going to have to park somewhere a little more private.”

He moved his hand quickly, balling it into a fist as a frown of anger crossed his face. I watched the control in him slip for just a second before he opened his hand and placed it gently on my leg.

“Why do you do that?”  He whispered.

“Tell you what I want?” I smiled and watched as he rolled his eyes, “encourage you to let your feelings go?” I knew they were the questions he needed answers to and I leaned down towards him, pressing my body to his as I grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged his head to the side, getting a little groan from him as I did so, but I leaned up so that he could see my eyes. “I already told you, you’re not going to hurt me, you’re not going to do any damage, and besides, how do you know I’m joking when I say whips and chains?”

He damn near growled when those words left my mouth, but it was when my mouth caught the bare skin of his neck that his hands moved from my thighs to capture my waist. I didn’t move my hand from his hair, in fact my grip there got tighter, but as I bit down on his skin, just like he did to me it the height of passion and need, I could feel his hips press up against me, as if searching for that intimate contact.

His hand moved swiftly, bunching up my hair as he leaned his head forward, placing it against my shoulder as I sucked harder at the skin between my teeth.  He moaned, and it was deep and needy and all sorts of sinful, and I had to pull away, because if I didn’t, we really were going to need someplace private, and probably sound proof.

The small red mark my lips left behind made me smile. It wouldn’t be noticeable to Dean or Danni, or probably anyone that truly mattered but I knew it was there and so did Sam, whose head dropped back against the seat as his eyes looked half-closed out the window.  I smiled and moved closer, my breath brushing his ear and his hand once again felt to my waist, pulling me against the hard, roughness of his jeans.

“Maybe your brother needs to protect you from me,” I whispered sweetly and felt him laugh just a little, and silently as his fingers spread across my back and he pulled me in to wrap me in an embrace, one that filled me with content.

“Yeah, I’m not sure that Dean would be able to handle you any more than I could,” he smiled, and I could hear it in his voice.  “I love you, Ali.”

“I love you too, Sammy,” I whispered and felt his hand in my hair as his lips pressed against my head once more. 

~~~~~

We switched positions somewhere down the line, but I still couldn’t help but keep peeking over at Sam as he reclined back in the black vinyl seat, his legs stretched out as far as they could go, and his arms crossed over his chest.  His face was turned in my direction, and his hair was falling to cover up half of it, but I could still see the peace that seemed to grace his features, the childish way his lips parted as he breathed through the dreams.

I smiled and thanked whatever, or whoever, happened to be watching for the chance to have him in my life, but some of what he had told me earlier seemed to run through my mind.  He had been that damaged boy, the one that Dean was on the show.  He had been the hard soldier, the one that John made Dean into, but still, no matter what had happened to this Sam in this life, he was never more than I wanted him to be, never more than I could handle and I wondered if it was because he was holding back.

He stirred and sat up rather quickly, which made me jump behind the wheel, but as his bright eyes, full of anger, landed on me, I took a deep breath, calming myself as I suppressed the urge to reach for him.  I know he needed a moment to gather his thoughts but his eyes wouldn’t leave mine as he scanned over my face.  It must have been something pretty intense because it took him a few minutes to finally take a deep breath and relax every muscle in his body.

“That bad dream again?” I questioned and watched as his mouth frowned in anger. He glanced out the window before he nodded, reaching for the cold coffee cup in the middle of the console.  I didn’t press, though I wanted to know if what was going on was exactly what I thought it was.  “Wanna pull over so you can stretch?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, okay, he mumbled it more than whispered, “that would be a good idea.” He gave me a half-smile as he looked over quickly before staring out the window. “Thanks.”

“Sam,” I didn’t really know what I was going to say but he didn’t look my way either, so I reached out and placed a hand on his knee, felt him shake just a little before it seemed he settled down from my touch, like that was the reassurance that he needed and I knew the dream was bad. “Okay, just a few miles, I think I saw a rest area sign a little ways back, so we should be coming up on it.”

He didn’t really say anything but his lips moved in the way of acknowledgement and it worried me that he continued to stare out the window, but I wasn’t going to force the issue and I wasn’t moving my hand either.  The rest area was roughly eight miles down the road, and within two of him waking up, his fingers had wrapped around mine, his body had stopped shaking and he was leaning against the other with his fingers rubbing his lips.  Yeah, something about that dream was really bothering him.

~~~~~

Conveniently, the rest area was fully equipped with restrooms, a gas station and food, which included a very important coffee stop for both of us.  It had taken me days to recuperate from the trip to Oklahoma with the amount of coffee that I drank and now here I was getting back on that bandwagon again, but I loved the taste of it and couldn’t seem to take any kind of trip without it. So, with a large French Vanilla Expresso with milk made from some very strong Italian coffee stand in hand, and Sam with whatever he was drinking, we made our way back towards the Charger and leaned against the hood, neither one of us ready for the road yet.

He was silent, something that he only did if he were thinking, but this time he was silent for way too long and I finally couldn’t take it anymore.  I turned to him, pressed my hip against the grill and crossed my arms the best I could with the coffee in hand. I noticed that his eyes were still a ways off, like he wasn’t really looking at anything, not the passing cars, not the scenery.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I watched him jump at the sound of my voice and switch the weight on his legs, before he looked down at the cup and over at me from under those strands of hair.

“Honestly,” he said with a bit of bite in his tone, but he drew in the reigns and took a deep breath. “No, I’m not.”

“Okay, so can I give you a little bit of “Supernatural” the TV show information?”  I tried to judge his mood but he kind of shrugged. “I mean, only if you want.”

“Sure, why not,” he scoffed. So, maybe he didn’t want to hear what I had to say, but one thing was definitely for sure, there was something going on with Sam, this Sam, _MY_ Sam, and it wasn’t good.


	37. DH God Killers - 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, not knowing the truth is better than getting the story from the source.

**Chapter 4**

I walked over to the trash container, the coffee in my cup had grown cold and for some reason, sour as I drank it.  I knew what I was about to discuss was, well, it might be hard on him, but I had to get it out somehow.  Cas said to be honest, to tell him everything, but I couldn’t establish the trust I needed to do that if he wasn’t telling _me_ everything, so I was only going on gut instinct here when I came up with a theory for his dreams. 

I moved towards the bench that I had parked in front of, pulled my feet up and wrapped my arms around my legs before glancing up at him. With a roll of his eyes, letting me know that he was still in the worst of moods, he kicked away from the car and came to sit by me, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees as he held the coffee with both hands.

I reached over and gently put my hand on his back, not wanting him to jump again because that scared me more than anything.  His muscles twitched but he didn’t seemed to be as frazzled as he was before and that was a good sign, but how long it was going to last was something completely different. Not that having keys to the Charger would have been any help because the boy could hotwire it in seconds, but they would have given me a little more confidence that he wasn’t going to take off and leave me there once my “theory” was exposed.

“Okay,” I sighed and watched him look up, just to watch the coming and going of the cars and the people, and not positive that he was even listening to me, I just started to babble.  Everything that I had learned about his life, Dean, John and what came before our little misadventure in Oklahoma, brought me to this very moment.  “Early on in the show, and you’ll know what I’m talking about since you just binged it for the last month and a half, that Sam started to get these headaches, really, really bad ones that either came with a vision or just before them. Sometimes the headaches wouldn’t come at all and the visions would just be nightmares, bad dreams, until they weren’t dreams anymore, they were real.”

I felt Sam stiffen as I talked, one of the main reasons I had put my hand on him. Outwardly, you would never have seen the signs of his discomfort of what the words were doing to him, but I knew him, I could feel him and every little twitch was a sign that I was right.

“Anyway, these dreams, these visions lead him to the fact that he was one of the chosen children, all pretty much born around the same time, all who had mothers who died in nursery fires.” I paused for a moment, thinking of my facts, “okay, so maybe not all died in fires when they were six months, but they eventually died.  These children had gifts, and some of them weren’t the best people, and some of them really were, but what they all had in common was that it all started around their birthdays.”

“I already told you that mine never stopped, they have always been there,” he snapped but didn’t look at me.  He didn’t move away, he didn’t even try to shrug my hand off, he just snapped, which could have been a good sign.

“I know, which is why I asked if you wanted the show history before I started, Sam, I’m not rehashing this crap just to piss you off, I’m trying to make a point.”  He turned to me then, placing one hand on his leg as he pushed himself up and stared at me. 

“And what point is that, because truthfully, Ali, I’m really not in a good headspace for this.”  He growled.  Yeah, not good, I could see that, but I took a deep breath and went on.

“The visions that Sam was having ended after the devil’s gate was opened, or at least we were lead to believe.” He locked his jaw, his lips thinning as he turned away.  “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the devil’s gate actually happened, kind of like Stull, but in a bit of a different way.”  He didn’t reply, he just lowered his head to look over the roughed-up boots he was wearing. “Yeah, so since things here happened to you and TV-Sam in a similar way to a point, I’m going to guess that your visions didn’t stop with the death of Azazel.”

He turned to me once again, this time his eyes locked on mine, his empty hand clenched in a fist. Yep, I knew that name would get him and I watched him try to control everything that wanted to pour out of him.

“Sam, I love you, I want to know what’s going on, so just talk to me.” My hand didn’t fall away from his back, instead I gripped his shirt and waited, but he turned back and looked up at the sky instead.  Did I go on? Did I continue prying because that was what my brain told me to do, keep digging because sooner or later, he was going to have to know the truth, the real truth on why his mother died.  “Okay,” I cleared my throat and adjusted my footing on the bench.  “So, my whole spiel, this whole “let’s compare”, I’ll just get to the point of it.  Your visions haven’t stopped, it’s why you’ve been so moody, you’re having nightmares and Sam, you were having them while we were together in Oklahoma.”

He sat up straight, shifting away from my hand, from my touch and he looked at me, his eyes dark with the anger that I knew was in there somewhere.  He shook his head, his lips locked tight and I wanted to just let it go, but I could see the frustration on his face, like he had lost the ability to find his words, to get his thoughts out.

“You had one before we met, about our meeting,” I whispered, watching his eyes grow wide at the idea, but he didn’t deny it, and that was when all of my theories on how and why finally connected.  “You knew who I was the moment you turned around in that booth and you knew what was coming.”

“Ali,” I watched as he closed his eyes and turned away and I reached out to him again, this time, to hell with the shirt, I grabbed his arm, catching his attention again. This time he nearly backed me up against the bench as he leaned into me.  His breathing was shallow and his lips were parted but the hardness in his eyes fade. “I saw you in my dreams, I saw the vampire attack,” he reached a shaky hand out and his fingers brushed my skin as his pushed my hair back from my shoulder. “I…” he swallowed hard, “I saw you die, and I couldn’t let that happen, I couldn’t… I needed to know you.”

“Sam, I…” what do you say to that exactly?  His breath was shaky and the tips of his fingers brushed my cheek as he placed his forehead against mine.

“You were so… are so beautiful,” he sighed and I smiled at the compliment but knew the other shoe was about to drop, wait, I take back drop, the bastard was about to plummet from thirty-seven thousand feet.  “When I feel sleep after I knocked on your door, after the headlight, I had another vision.”

“Sam,” I pressed and reached out to cup my hands on his cheeks, pushing him away so that he would look into my eyes, “tell me what you saw.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his own fingers tangling in my hair, “I’m so sorry, Ali, you were supposed to die.”

“What?” I moved away from him, but then changed my mind, and turned quickly so that I had him pinned down to the bench, sitting on his lap as I faced him, the emotions that crossed his face almost let me speechless… almost. “Do you know how much crap you can churn up by screwing with the natural order of things? Sam, you of all people know that things happen for a reason.”

“I couldn’t let you, not like that,” he whispered but it wasn’t like he was he was mad that I was scolding him, he said it more like he was pleading with me to understand.  I let my fingers trail down to rest on his chest as his lips trembled, not sure if he was on the verge of crying or if it was because of all the other emotions, and his thumb caressed my cheek.  “I kept thinking afterwards that it was meant to be, that I was meant to save you, that I had seen it wrong, because you swung.”

“Yeah, how about that,” I said still a little shocked, “and you know why I swung that blade?  Because friggin Cas told me to.” I had never told him that before, or maybe I might have, but I didn’t really get into it. There was a voice that night, once at the Waffle House, once in the room, the first told me that the boys would keep me safe and the second was to swing like my life depended on it, well, apparently it really did.  Sam looked at me in shock, yeah, I must have left that out. And I’m pretty sure I left it out when I wrote the trip story down the first time.  Cas was with me, with me through it all.  “I wasn’t supposed to die, was I? Because if someone above was watching and that was the way it was supposed to be, why send me you, why send me Cas?”

“Cas told you too?” Sam whispered.

“Not that I wouldn’t have done it on my own but, Sam, I was terrified.  You were bleeding and this thing was coming at me, and I just listened to the voice in my head. I swung.” I took a breath and let it out, trying to relax my body in order to get him to do the same.  “You were exactly where you were supposed to be, Sam, your vision was wrong.”

“So why am I having them again?”  He seemed so lost at that moment, and I bit down on my lower lip, let my face show my concern as he glanced over my lips then stared into my eyes.  “Why am I having visions of you dying again?”

“I don’t know, baby,” I sighed, brushed his hair back from his face and leaned in, kissing him lightly on the lips.  “I don’t know, but I think we need to get to Danni and Dean.”

“We were with them,” he sighed, and I sat back a little, confused. “When you died in my vision, Ali, we were with my brother and Danni.” He shook his head.  “I want to keep you as far away from them as I can, but I know we have to go.” Sam sat forward, capturing me around the waist with one arm as he placed his palm against my cheek with the other. “Promise me, Al, promise me as soon as this case is done that you’ll run, run far away from us.”

“I’m not,” I smiled, thinking he was joking but I could see the seriousness in his eyes. “I’m not going to run from you Sam, not from you.”

“You don’t understand, Ali,” he drew in a deep breath as his emotions started to surface and his eyes glistened with something, fear, hatred, disgust, “you have to run from me,” he sighed, “I think I’m the one that kills you.”

Okay, pump the brakes!  I slid from his lap, from his touch all together and placed my hands over my mouth.  Sam’s visions, if correct, which is questionable since he got the first one wrong, was that he killed me! I mean forget the fact that I died in the first place, but Sam killing me? Okay, there was just something cosmically wrong with that picture.

I turned back to him, running my hands though my hair as I collected myself, and repeated the same mantra in my head over and over: not gonna freak out, not gonna freak out!

Yeah, total freak out!

“Okay, um, let’s just get back in the car and go,” I stated, in a rather calm voice, because if we didn’t move, I was so totally going to freak the hell out.

Sam stood, not sure on what we were going to do but he took the driver’s side and I slide into the seat he had occupied before, having to adjust the back so that I wasn’t laying so flat.  With a deep breath, I curled my legs up against me as I buckled the belt and stared out the window while he backed out and headed down the highway once more.

Where the hell had that conversation gone so completely sideways?  How exactly did we get on the subject that I was going to die?  Better yet, what exactly did I do that would make it so SAM had to kill me and Danni and Dean didn’t do a thing to stop me in time?

All these things, went through my mind as we drove.  Holy hell I was in for a long day, and we still had more than two hours to go, two very, very long hours.

~~~~~

Note to self: when thinking of the worst possible way that you could die, always leave out the song that you get stuck in your head, one that has to do with falling into a cement mixer, frying getting a suntan, or being eaten by a lion.  What the hell was Sam listening to? My mind was taken off the thoughts of my own death and brought back to the strange radio station that played through the speakers, which made me turn in my seat and look over at the grin on his face.

“What the hell, Sam?”  I questioned and watched as his blue-green eyes landed on mine.

“You weren’t answering me. I figured you were off in your own little world and I know the only thing that keeps you locked in those little places is the music you listen to, so I switched the station.” He shrugged and turned back to the road. Confused, I rubbed my forehead and adjusted my position in the seat as I studied the expression on his face.

“So, Train?” I smiled, and watched the corner of his lips go up.  “You thought it would be best to get me out of a thought with “50 ways to say goodbye”? You do know she drowns in a hot tub right?”

All I could see was the smile widening on his face and that was just what I was looking for.  I wasn’t at all mad about the song, in fact, it was one of my favorite ones, but I wanted him to think he was getting the best of me. With a huff, I sat back in my seat and watched him for a few more minutes before his eyes glanced sideways in my direction. 

My brain thought of a million and a half things that I wanted to ask him, and I think he knew it because he reached his hand over and placed it over mine.  I hadn’t realized I was wringing my hands together nervously until he stopped the motion, and in turn it started my foot bouncing.

“What?”  He whispered, it wasn’t a harsh question, he just knew I wanted something.

“It can wait, it would probably be better to ask Dean,” this caught his attention and he turned his head in my direction, looking me straight in the eyes for a few second before he looked at the road.

“What do you need to ask Dean that would have to do with me?”  Now this time there was definitely a bit of a bite to the words that passed his lips.

“I don’t,” I paused, and thought about how to actually come out with it because the more I wanted to know, the more it might hurt him to dig up his past. “I don’t want to upset you, Sam, I’m just curious about things, you know timeline differences and stuff.”

“Is it about me, though?”  He seemed to take the explanation without much issue but the thought of me talking to Dean about his childhood seemed to upset him more.

“Not so much, I guess,” I shrugged.  “Do you want to hear the question and then can decide for yourself?”

He glanced at me again, not just out of the corner of his eyes, but he actually made contact to see that I really wasn’t trying to blow him off. I watched as one shoulder came up in a shrug, but in all that time his hand never moved from mine and I found a way to intertwine our fingers.

“Yeah, okay,” but his voice was unsure.

“So, Sam leaves for college, Dean goes off with John, but that’s not what happens to you. The gap that we saw through the show was that it started with Sam in college, a few years in, and Dean had come to get him.” I watched as he faced the road, taking in my words, weighing them as I also tried to figure out his expressions, his feelings.  “Dean reacted when I told him those words, Sam, the one little sentence that started the whole series, so what exactly happen to you and Dean if those words got the same reaction?”

“I,” he started but I watched him bite the inside of his lip gently, before he took a breath, one that made his chest rise.  “I separated from them, I had decided that I needed to be on my own.  I was nineteen, and angry, and so stupid.”

“So, Dean did come and get you?”  Sam nodded, his lips growing tight, and he let out a long breath.

“Dean and I weren’t really on speaking terms at that point, so when he showed up I was somewhere in Arizona, Wickenburg if I remember the name correctly. Population of six thousand or so people but one hell of a ghost problem.” I watched as his eyes faded into those memories, but this time they didn’t seem to bring out the emotion that the ones of his childhood had, maybe because they weren’t connected to the dreams or maybe because he was concentrating on what Dean was like at that time. “It was supposed to be a typical salt and burn, just vengeful spirits kind of thing, you know something that you can handle on your own, but it turned out to be just a bit more.”

“Did you call him to help, or did he just show up?” 

“No,” Sam shook his head, sucked his teeth for a second, and adjusted in the seat.  “Dean never just shows up and I didn’t call.  Apparently, the case was on his radar already but Dad had been gone for too long, Bobby hadn’t heard from him either so Dean just decided that the case was something he could handle. We were both wrong.”

“What happened?”

“Necromancer,” Sam shrugged it off as if it were nothing major, but I could see there was more to it, so I waited for him to continue.  “Yeah, a badass one as a matter of fact. I was pretty much dead on my feet when Dean came in.”

“You, dead on your feet?”  I smiled and watched him give me a little grin. 

“Yeah, up for more than three days straight digging and burning the bastards.  I really should have called in backup but I was pigheaded.”

“Not much has changed in that department.”  I mumbled and felt him give me a little squeeze of my hands.

“You’re right,” he snickered and glanced at me, “still pigheaded as ever, but yeah, Dean kinda saved my ass.  By the time, I got down to the who, the monsters had grown in number to the point that there was no way to stop them. Digging up the whole cemetery wouldn’t even have done the trick and no amount of salting and burning the corpses would have stopped it.  I finally had the guy cornered, some little jerk with a bad temper and a need for revenge on someone else in the town. He got his hands on an old grimoire and basically opened a can of worms he couldn’t control, so I thought.  He apparently had learned a little bit about what he was doing and managed to get me backed up against a wall.  I thought I was dead. I was exhausted, beaten to a pulp, and you know the only thing I could think of as I lay there waiting for this monster of a dead man, some Frankenstein creation, to bring the ax down on me was how much I wanted to see him, how much I really wanted my brother with me at the end.”

“Did he swoop in and save your ass?”  I meant it as a joke but it came out a little more serious than I expected.

“Actually, he did.”  Sam sighed, giving a little shake of his head.  “He, ah, not only saved my ass, he waited until I was able to walk around on my own before he threw the little gem of: Dad’s on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days. Funny, I thought I wouldn’t care about Dad at all at that point, but after what I had gone through, I was scared to death for him.  I didn’t want to admit it, but I guess being so close to it myself, I thought God, this can’t be the way Dad goes, killed at the hand of some monster. So, when I was better, I got on the road with Dean.”

“Okay, so that’s not so bad.” He nodded, but I noticed his expression didn’t lighten. “Sam?”

“Yeah, it actually was pretty bad,” he replied after taking a moment to collect his thoughts.  “I didn’t know how bad it had gotten for Dean.  Dad used him to keep me in line, to make sure I was the one that stuck to the rules, whatever they were that week, or day, or month, but when I left, I didn’t realize that I left Dean wide open for what I thought was just Dad’s reaction to my behavior.”

Wait, John’s reaction to Sam’s behavior?  Did that mean what I thought it did?

“Did your dad hit you?”  Sam’s head whipped in my direction, his face full of fear or surprise, it was hard to tell but he was quickly shaking his head.

“Not unless I swung first,” he defended John and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad.

“But he hit back?”

“Yeah, when I was older, that was one of the main reasons I left, because I was too afraid.” Sam sighed, “I was so angry, so out of control, I thought I could have killed him at any point. I thought I might hurt Dean and I couldn’t live with that, so I left.  The problem was Dad was so used to confrontations with me that when it came to Dean, it was the only way he knew how to deal, so Dean started having to swing back and…”

“John was abusing him?” Again, it wasn’t really a question to Sam but a thought that went through without stopping at my filter.

“It wasn’t abuse, not in Dean’s eyes. It was Dean being a good son, defending himself, making sure that Dad knew that Dean could handle whatever was thrown at him. Not that Dean was weak at all, I mean he kept me in line, hell he held me down more than once, more than I can count actually.  He was the one that should have gone off to college, he’s a frigging genius, but I left, I went and left him holding the bag.” Using his knee to keep the wheel still, Sam ran a hand through his hair and then slammed it down onto the hardened plastic.  “Dean came out of that situation harder, rougher and downright dangerous.  He wasn’t the playful brother I remembered anymore, I mean Dean could have a hell of a sense of humor and he knew how to use it to get what he wanted, but he was edgy and serious when he found me.”

“What happened when you went to look for John?”

“Sometimes, after the hunts we did while we followed whatever clues Dad left, Dean would do what we always did, head to the nearest bar, pick up the neediest woman,” his eyes glanced quickly in my direction to see if I was offended, I wasn’t, and he continued. “Anyway… there was a few times that Dean got out of hand, not many but I would walk in on him, half-drunk, scaring the hell out of the woman.  He never touched her, never once, but the shit he was saying, Ali,” his fingers squeezed mine a little harder and he let out a deep growl.  “I don’t know what he did to Dean, and my brother is too stubborn to tell me anything, even now, but I honestly didn’t know if I wanted to find Dad after what I saw him become, I didn’t know if I wanted to save him, because I was so dead set on killing him.”

“Jesus, Sam.” I closed my eyes as he rubbed the scruff on his cheek.  “I’m sorry.”

“It was what it was, I guess, I mean Dean has… he’s not as bad as he once was.  When he hits the bottle now, it just kind of rolls through him, but that might be because of Cas and not actually dealing with the problem.”  Sam looked over at me, trying to give me a reassuring wink as that sly little grin crossed his lips.  “Ali, I was supposed to be the dark one, I was supposed to be the one with issues, the demon blood, but Dean hasn’t gotten anything but crap since he came back from Hell, from being with Alistair. I mean that alone was crap enough.”

“Cas brought him back, right? I mean, he pulled him out of hell?” 

“Yeah, brought him back, but the damage was done.  Even if I wanted to help him, there was no way I could. Hell changes you, being on that rack, that changes you.  Dean, though, Dean is so much stronger than I am because no matter how black it looked, he was the one that told me we could get through it. I never bothered with it, it didn’t really affect me.  I could have taken or left it, it didn’t matter personally, but because it was something he was fighting for,” Sam paused, “I couldn’t let my brother down again, I confessed that once, that my greatest sin was how many times I had let him down, but not now, not again. Until you, it was always Dean first, Ali.”

“It should be Dean first, Sam, it should always be family first.” I shrugged and honestly believed it. I was what I instilled in my children and I certainly wasn’t going to try and change Sam because of my wanting to be closer to him.  No, it was the reason I pushed him to go with Cas in the beginning, to leave me when I went home from Oklahoma.  Sam needed to put Dean first because Dean needed him.

“Family?” He smiled and lifted my hand up to kiss the back of my knuckles, “you realize that you’re part of it now, right, so it’s you first too.” His eyes scanned over my face, lingering at my lips as he rolled to a stop.  I hadn’t even realized we moved off the highway to the rest area. “It will always be you first, you and Dean and Danni.”

“Where are we going?” I laughed as he continued to kiss my fingers, moving down each knuckle.  He looked up just in time to roll to the gas pump, lean over the seat and kiss me softly on the lips.  It wasn’t a quick kiss, more of a lingering one before he was out the door, and I was left totally confused. “What the hell just happened?”


	38. DH God Killers Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations with Dean always go one way or the other... usually it's not the way you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I love the comments you're all making on the story, if you have questions feel free to send them along too. I'm on twitter @dgray3994 as well, got a few pictures going for this story already. MUCH LOVE and if you read the In Between Deb is on twitter as well @classichassis
> 
> BTW thoughts, comments, concerns and hellos are as always WELCOMED and encouraged. Good or bad :-)

**Chapter 5**

I had reclined the seat back, my eyes closed and put my foot out the window as Sam put gas in the Charger. It was then, as I was trying to relax and wrap my head around the in-depth conversation that Sam and I had about Dean that my phone rang.

Looking at the caller ID, I rolled my eyes and placed it to my ear activating the call. I heard him clear his throat, the very man we had just been discussing was now waiting patiently to say hello.

“Dean?” I whispered and heard him sigh.

“Hey Ali, you guys almost here or what?” I smiled at his impatience and brought the seat up to sitting position and glanced at Sam as he looked at his watch.

“Stopped for gas.” I answered and thought of what Sam had told me about his brother. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just a little antsy I guess,” he admitted and that made me think that either Danni wasn’t in the room or he was guarding his answers.  “You know how I get about Sammy.” Ah-ha, I’m sure that was it completely, which was total sarcasm on my part because I knew he was holding back it was just a matter of time before he let it out, and that was exactly the way it played out, “and you.”

“Danni’s not there, is she?”

“Nah, she went for a snack run. You know, beer and pie.”

“You do know that eventually that crap will kill you.”

“Yeah, well.” he sighed again and I knew something was bothering him.

“Dean, why did you call? I mean don't get me wrong I love the sound of your voice but you shouldn’t be sneaking around behind Danni’s back just to get a phone call in.”

“I’m not so sure she would understand.” I was the one that sighed this time. Dean hadn’t figured out the need any more than I had and worse the distance between us had made me almost itchy for his touch. And how exactly do you tell that to your sister?  “I, ah, I just needed to check on you, Al.”

“I get that Dean, I do but it can't be done this way. It’s not fair. Promise me that you'll tell her when she gets back.”

“Yeah, okay,” he whispered and the next breath came out as if he weren’t just blowing air.

“I thought you gave those up,” and I talking about the American Spirits he was not so addicted to.

“Another bad habit I can't drop.”

“Wait you have more than one?” I laughed. And listened to him snicker.

“Four right now, the two of you, these, and Danni.” he laughed and unheard him take a drag.

“Did you tell her yet?” I smiled, remembering the late night drunken phone call where Dean had come clean about his feelings for her. You know one of the kind of conversations that changed your life.

“Not gonna let that drop are you?”

“You haven't let go of the whole Sam Skype incident?” He was silent but I could hear the “hmmph” as he thought about it, probably smiling. “So, no, I'm not dropping the fact that you’re in love with my sister.” I watch as Sam put the gas cap back on and knocked on the window, letting me know he was headed to the restroom. “Though the Skype really was kind of funny.” He was quiet for a moment. “Tell me about the case.”

“I thought Danni did.”

“I wanna hear about it from you.”

“Okay, well the store didn't have any EMF activity, no ghost activity and no cursed object vibes.” Dean sighed.

“What about the mirror?”

“Just looked like an ordinary mirror to me and Sam, I mean, it really wasn’t until Danni started freaking out at the motel that we even thought of it. She was the one that showed us the pictures she took of it, of the writing on the back, but since we couldn’t place it, we just thought maybe someone had scratched it up.”  I could almost see Dean shrugging it off in my mind and I rolled my eyes, scratches…yeah right.  “Anyway, Danni goes out for a few minutes, grabs some stuff out of the car and comes back in freaking out that we needed to get you and you needed to be here, like yesterday, so we did our usual, and Sammy won.  He was off to collect our missing member. You.”

“Okay, so she didn’t give you any real reason why I needed to be there? I mean, don’t you think that sounds a little fishy to you?”  I was confused by the whole thing, the way that Danni reacted, the way that Sam and Dean had no clue to even… “Hey Dean, did you look in the mirror?”

“No, there wasn’t any reason to,” he answered completely nonchalant.

“Did Danni?”  I wasn’t fishing, I was hoping to rule out what I thought was just a simple puzzle.

“Yeah, she was the one that pointed it out, I would assume that she had looked into it,” I could hear the curiousness growing in his voice.  “Ali, you’re starting to scare me, what’s with the questions?”

“One last one and I swear I’ll tell you,” I replied and took a breath, crossing fingers and toes (if I could) that I got the answer I wanted.  “Did Sam?”

“What?”

“Did Sam look into the mirror at all, I mean even a tiny peek?” 

Dean let out a breath and thought for a second before answering.  “No.  No, there would have been no way, he was right beside me the whole time and we were on the other side of the store.  Why is there something wrong with Sammy?  What’s going on?”

“I don’t think those were scratches, there’s a reason why I had Danni send them to Carol.  I think they were really writing, some different kind that we’ve never seen before,” and I did a hell of a good job lying because I knew what they were, I could read them, I knew what it said, but I had to sit on it until I could get to where all of us were together.

“Okay, fine, what’s going on with Sam?” I heard that protective side come out in him.

“Nothing, he’s good, I mean, we’re almost there, Dean.” I breathed in a sigh, and heard him let one out.

“So, what’s your theory?”  Wow, really couldn’t pull one over on him.

“Still forming it, but don’t go back and the shop and don’t let her look in that mirror again.” I watched as Sam started heading back towards the car.  “Promise me, Dean. Promise that you won’t let her go anywhere near that shop.”

“Okay, Kid, I promise,” he stated with concern and cleared his throat.  “Danni’s back.”

“So is Sam,” I answered and closed my eyes.  “It won’t be long, Dean, just a few more hours.”

“It feels like you’ve been on the road all day,” he groaned, “would you get here already?”

“Yeah, we’re headed out now, just hang on,” I smiled, but it slowly faded.  “Tell her, Dean, I mean it, tell her that we had this conversation, don’t hide it from her.” That was about the time that Sam slipped into the car. “Say you will, Winchester, or I will come in kicking ass!”

“Calm down, woman!” He laughed and I heard Danni’s boots approaching.  “I’ll tell her as soon as you hang up.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I blew out the breath I was holding, took the phone away from my ear and pressed the “End” icon, disconnecting the call before I glanced at Sam.  “That was Dean. He said: hurry up and get here.”

“He said a lot more than that,” Sam smiled and handed me another coffee but also a bagel with cream cheese.  “You need to eat something.”

“So, do you, and bunny food isn’t going to cut it.” I sassed back and watched him give me a look like he was not going to be lectured, but then pulled a protein bar out of his pocket and gave it a gentle wiggle, before starting the car up.  I smiled and opened the bagel up. Okay, maybe I wasn’t completely satisfied with his choice, but at least it was something and he was eating it.

The last leg of the trip we completely kept away from the past, from Sam’s history and especially from Dean’s because now I was interested in the fact of what the hell exactly happened between him and John.  Dean looked like the kind of guy to go in swinging, and the picture that Sam painted was that he had always been that way, so why would fights with John put him in such a dark place. 

So, it was settled, Dean and I really, really needed to have a chat.

~~~~~

The ride wasn’t as long as I thought, or maybe it was because I was lost in thoughts that I didn’t realize the time, but I know I sat up straighter, got a little more excited, and found it hard to sit still in the seat as we pulled up into the motel parking lot. 

There she was, that beautiful, sleek, black beauty that had saved our lives, and the boys too many times to count, and she was there, in all her glory as the fading sun shined off what looked like a fresh wax job.  Sam laughed quietly at the way I stared at the car, but he didn’t realize just how much she meant to me. She brought me Sam, she brought me Dean, and so many other memories that she was a part of me.  She was home, and with that home came the two men I love most.

He backed up along side her, in order to get better access to the trunk and I couldn’t wait to get out and touch her, though I’m pretty positive that Dean would have cut my hand off if I had left finger prints on her at all. His smile widened bringing out those dimples as I grinned in his direction before hopping out of the car if only to walk around her.

I stopped on the opposite side of baby, on Dean’s side and I leaned down into the open windows, placing my arms on the chrome.  Sam, as he got out, closed the door quietly and slowly leaned down to look in on me as I just stared at the backseat. My eyes gazing over the interior, I remembered him holding me as I slept on the way to Joplin, the way he curled around me on the way back from Tulsa and how comfortable we were just laying together before the vampires struck.

It was then that a smile crossed my face because I thought of the one thing we had never done in the car. I looked up from under my brows, bit down on the corner of my lip and watched the knowing smile cross Sam’s face as he gave me a wink, held my gaze for what was way too long to be anything but inviting and I watched the blue-green of them darken with want.  Yeah, I loved that we were so in tune with each other’s needs, and boy did I need that man.

He popped the trunk and grabbed a few of the bags as I made my way over to take a few of my own, and snatch my hunting pack out of the back seat of the car.  Sam was on his way out of the opened hotel room when I was about to step in, catching part of a conversation that I ever expected.

“Okay, that I get, but what the hell is a De-sti-el?”  Dean questioned, as if trying to pronounce the word while reading it from paper and I turned the corner into the room to see him doing just that, but from a tablet.  I dropped the pack, probably a bad idea with all the stuff that was in it and stared at him as Danni cracked up laughing and looked up at me.  “I mean, that word makes absolutely no sense.”

“Says the man who can understand seven different written, oh and DEAD, languages.” Danni laughed and shook her head.

“Oh, please tell me you are not reading fanfiction,” I pleaded and watched his brow crease in confusion.

“No, I’m reading this story about me and Cas,” he announced and I walked over, apparently, it was to hell with the formalities of hugs and “how have you been”, forget that we hadn’t seen each other in a few months because we picked up right where we left off.  I snatched the tablet away and rolled my eyes as I read the description of some sort of torrid love affair between Cas and Dean in the bunker, and shook my head. “Jesus, Danni, you let him read this?”

“He was kind of Googling himself,” and she couldn’t help the smile that came along with the sentence. 

“Okay, rule number one,” I said and turned to Dean, “don’t… Google anything about yourself, ever.” I gave him back the tablet and turned to look up at Sam, “and don’t binge watch Supernatural on Netflix.” I glanced at Dean and snatched it away again.  “And stay off Tumblr for, Chuck sake!”

“Um,” Danni agree, a grin spreading across her cheeks, “just… stick to the porn sites.”

“Okay, hold up,” Dean growled.  “Before you start barking orders, someone want to tell me what has your panties all up in a bunch and what the hell is a Destiel?”

“It’s a ship,” I started and watched the confusion spread across his face, which made Danni look at me for help.

“A relationship that fans see together, they call it shipping.” I added and watched as Dean looked up at Sam, who stood beside me shrugging.  I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose as I smiled.  “Destiel, is Dean and Castiel…together.”

“Like, together-together?” Sam whispered, and I nodded.  “Well, that isn’t at all strange.”

“It’s 2017, Sam, two guys can be together.”

“Yeah, me and Cas, not happening,” Dean grumbled and that was when I smiled.

“That’s why it’s called fanfiction.” He looked at me, every expression on his face went completely blank as if he were saying that he wasn’t amused. “Because fans write it and they do whatever the hell they want in it.” I waited for it to sink in and when it did, Dean just shook his head.

“You people are sick,” he stated sarcastically, but I know he was flattered that people were writing about him, even if it wasn’t really him they were thinking of but Jensen Ackles.  “What about you, do you do this whole “ship” thing?”

“Why would I ship,” I looked up at Sam, “I got all the Winchesters I can handle right here.” I turned back to Dean and gave him a wink. 

“Okay enough of this crap,” Danni smiled and stood up from the chair, she turned towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug, one that I had been waiting for all day. I let out all the tension, all of the frustration I had been holding in and closed my eyes, my own arms taking her into an embrace.  “I’ve missed my sister.”

“And she’s missed you.” I whispered back, not letting her go, not for a few minutes yet, but she pushed me back and glanced at Dean, which got me a little more than curious as to what was going on.  Dean stood, cleared his throat and I heard Sam shift beside me.  Looking up at the moose of a man, Sam leaned down and kissed me softly, before caressing my cheek, and turning towards the door.

“Gonna grab the rest of the bags,” he murmured and stepped out of the room.  Danni let me go, gave me one raised brow and patted me on the shoulders.

“I’ll help,” she stated and headed towards the door, leaving me to stare at the green-eyed Winchester before me, but that was when I heard Sam’s voice, low and laughing.

“Oh, I get it… shipping,” he chuckled, “like you and Ali would be Danali.”

“Okay, don’t go there!”  Danni replied but laughed at the comment, “just step away from the shipping, don’t make eye contact…”

Her voice trailed off as I watched Dean take a step towards me, his hands rubbing on his thighs as if his palms were sweaty. He stopped not more than three feet from me, just out of arms reach and looked me over, as if he were checking for something, anything that he could protect me from. But I watched the emotions rise in his eyes as he realized I really was okay and suddenly the distance was gone.

He was an overpowering force, his arms wrapping around me, cocooning me in something I needed for a month and a half, a safe place where the monsters and the spirits I had chosen to fight couldn’t come back to harm me, a sanctuary where the thought of demons and vampires all but disappeared.  I felt his lips against my head, in the spot they always landed before they were replaced by his cheek and I buried my face against his shirt, the same smell of distinct Dean was there, just as I remembered, cars, gas, his cologne, deodorant, the scent of his skin and those damned cigarettes, all just perfectly Dean.

“You’ve been hunting,” he scolded, but his voice cracked with the emotions that filled him, and he pushed back just a little so I could look into his eyes, his fingers brushing over my cheek.  “Why the hell have you been hunting?”

“Because I can, Dean,” was all I had for him, “because with everything that was going on, I needed an out.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, I could have helped.”

“I had all the help I needed,” and when his palm pressed against my skin, I leaned into it.  This connection was so strong, but it wasn’t the same as Sam, I wasn’t in love with Dean, but I loved him just as much.  Sam was my guardian, my protector, my everything, and Dean was equally that. I took a shaking breath and just looked at him, the scar on his cheek was fading and I reached up to trace it with my thumb, a touch he closed his eyes too.  “If I had told you, what would you have honestly done?”

“Come up there, kicked you in the ass and locked you in the house,” he answered truthfully, opening his eyes to look down, still scolding. “You have kids, you should be looking out for them.”

“I have been, trust me.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  “Whatever is after me and Danni, whatever this _thing_ is, it won’t touch my kids.”

“You don’t know that, you’re not there to protect them all the time.”  I smiled up at him when he finished saying this.  “What?  What did you do?”

“Let’s just say there isn’t a thing my kids don’t wear, eat, bath with, or carry that isn’t warded and some sort of barrier of protection.  A demon can’t get within ten feet of one of them without being smoked out.”

“What are you playing with?” He stepped back, put his hands on my upper arms and I watched the seriousness return to his face. Yep, he was concerned again.

“Crowley gave me the knowledge, Dean, when he made that deal with my grandmother. Stuff I can use to protect my house and my family, something I would use on you, Sam and Danni in an instant if you asked, but I’m not delving into anything dark.”  I replied, and watched him roll his eyes, shake his head and step away.  “I told you, I’m not a witch, not a bad one.”

“But you’re playing with magic,” he turned and leaned against the table, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared, annoyance in his eyes.

“Yeah, and so do you and Sam, please tell me what the difference is.”

He paused for a moment as I walked up and pressed against his legs, making him widen his step as I moved up and we connected at the waist. His arms uncrossed and his hands came down to land on my hips.

“You’re right, there isn’t a difference, but the more you use it, Al, the more addicting it becomes,” he warned and placed his forehead against mine. 

Maybe Cas was wrong, maybe Sam was wrong, maybe whatever this connection was, this need for physical contact wasn’t anything but that, a need because he wasn’t checking me for damage, to see if Sam had hurt me in anyway, he was just holding me, at least until the sound of someone clearing their throat from behind me.  Dean picked his head up and by the look in his eyes, I could tell that Sam was standing there, but the grin on Dean’s face said Sam wasn’t looking at his brother.

“He’s looking at my ass, isn’t he?” I whispered and the smile only got wider.  I turned towards Sam, leaned back against Dean, who just kind of adjusted the hands on my hips and watched as the younger of the two brothers scanned me over again from head to toe. “Dean, ah,” I whispered, looking at the wanting way Sam stared at me, “could we borrow the car?”

“You have your own…” he started and then grabbed me by the shoulders, used his hips to push at me from behind and stood me up straight before he stepped aside and pointed his finger at me, then at Sam, “ut-uh, you ain’t doing that stuff in _my_ car. Take the Charger, I’m sure that plastic piece of crap has enough vibration in it for you to get off.”

“It’s just not like the Impala,” I laughed, finding myself teasing him as I reached out and grabbed both Dean and Sam by the shirts, but I didn’t take my eyes off the older Winchester.  “It doesn’t have just the right kind of rumble to get me where I need to go.”

Dean’s head literally rolled on his shoulders and he playfully swatted my hand away from his chest when he moved over to the table to grab his coffee. His eyes darted from me to Sam, gave us a disgusted look and stepped to move by us before he stopped and gave us each a nasty glare.

“You two seriously need to get a room,” he sassed as he walked out, which left Sam all smiled as he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to him. 

I laughed as Sam’s arms snaked around me and he pulled me to the bed so that I was sitting on his lap.  My hands went automatically to that hair that loved to fall about his face and he closed his eyes, letting the feeling of my fingers calm him.

“Did you get all unpacked?” I questioned as one of my hands fell to his neck and I slid my thumb under his chin, lifting his neck so that it was exposed to me.  I planted gentle kisses along the artery there, feel the pulse beneath my lips and I heard him give a quiet growl.

“Mmm-hmm,” he sounded off and I smiled. “I have another room.”

My lips left his skin, blazing a trail up to his ear as he sighed and when I whispered, I felt the chill rush through his body.

“Later, definitely later,” I smiled and felt his hand come up to my face, placing his palm firmly against me when I laid my head on his shoulder. “Until then, I think we need to figure something out.”

“Like a mirror with symbols we don’t understand?”  Danni’s voice questioned and it was then that I realized why Sam had moved me from the precarious position against his neck, we had an audience.

“Yeah,” I sighed, “that.” I moved on Sam’s lap, adjusting myself so that I was sitting on only one thigh, not that he had small legs, and the part beneath my ass was pure muscle and a complete turn on.  “So, it’s like nine pm, sun’s down, shop’s closed up.  What’s our plan of action?”

“What’s our usually plan of action?”  Danni smiled and I shook my head.

“B and E on my first night here, wonderful,” I groaned and put my head back on Sam’s shoulders. His lips came down to my skin, needing that contact as his hand, the one hidden from the view of the other two in the room, snaked under my shirt and pressed against my belly, his thumb caressing the bare skin there. “Do you guys have cat burglar outfits or just paint yourself and go in the buff?”

“Seriously?”  Dean asked as he grabbed the computer from Danni’s side of the table and gave me a look of uncertainty.  “You’ve completely lost your nuts.”

“Well, no, not completely,” I replied sarcastically and watched him look back at the computer with just a small shake of his head.  Danni grinned at me, loving the fact that everything seemed back to normal. “So what, no cat suits, no buff? We just go in as is?”

“That’s usually the plan,” Sam answered and suddenly it felt hard to concentrate as his thumb slid up under the edge of my bra.

“Okay,” I stood suddenly, not for the reason you would think, I mean, if you had Sam Winchester pawing at you, I’m sure you’re first thought would have been the same as mine. The “take me now” kind of thought, but it was the man outside the window that caught my attention.  “Two-minute intermission,” I breathed, trying to catch my heart as the night sky darkened. “I think I need some air.”

With that, I bolted out the door, looking both ways as I stopped by the back bumper of both cars. I watched as he rounded the side of the building, disappearing into the growing blackness and just as I was about to head in that direction, a hand rested on my arm.  My head snapped towards the glow of the motel room door and I looked at the wonder in Danni’s eyes, just before she narrowed them and opened her mouth to lecture me, but snapped it shut when she saw the look on my face.

“What is it?” She whispered, stepping closer to me, I wanted to open my mouth and tell her everything that I had learned on the trip down, everything that was in Jones’ files but I knew she was referring to why I had bolted and not what I was thinking.

“It was,” I looked past her at the door, making sure there was a clear view of the boys that sat in there, that they weren’t listening before I whispered anyway. “It was Cas, he went around the corner of the building.”

“Wait, what the hell is Cas here for?”  Danni seemed more shocked than I was that he was hanging around but then I realized.

“You don’t know, do you?”  I whispered and watched as she gave me this strange and confused expression. “Danni, John’s here, in Winchester, Virginia.”


	39. DH God Killers Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somethings going on in Winchester, something even an Angel can't resist.

**Chapter 6**

Danni looked at me as if I had six heads, maybe more, but that didn’t stop me from getting just slightly annoyed that I was still standing there, and Castiel was hiding around the corner waiting for me.  I grabbed her wrist, raised my brow and decided that I had had it with waiting.  Sticking my head into the room, her wrist still in my hands, I smiled at Sam.

“Danni and I are going to take a walk, just to get a few sodas,” I winked at him and Sam gave a bit of a shrug, as if to tell me that I didn’t need his permission, but Dean started to rise, the word “what” just about to leave his lips, when I winked at him and closed the door behind me.  

I tugged on the hand that suddenly held mine, taking Danni in the direction that Cas had disappeared too, and my free hand found the handle of the small Walther P22 that was tucked in the back of my jeans. Danni stopped mid-stride and when I looked at her, she was giving me this face, as if she were about to smack me if I didn’t let go and her eyes went to the wrist I held.

Letting out a breath between parted lips, I uncurled my fingers and released her. Instantly she went for her gun, slipping it out of the holster at her hip and wiggled her brows at me with a smile etching across her lips. I gave a slight grin, clicked back the slide and gestured silently as we both moved in the same direction, forward.

Rounding the corner, we came face to face with nothing, and I mean nothing! Not Cas, not demons, not even a trash barrel, but we kept moving, our feet as silent as possible on the ground below.  I took up the front, crouched low, knees bent but my eyes were everywhere at once.  The only breathing I could hear was from the woman behind me. Danni had my back, seeing things that I might have missed, going high as I looked low but I knew the pattern her lungs made and I knew when she stopped.  Glancing behind me, just for a second, I noticed her standing straight, looking off to her left and I moved the gun before my body, taking stock of what was there, just before I spotted the man in the dark suit. 

“Jesus, Cas!” I growled, standing up straight as he stepped out from the darkness, the ever stoic look on his face as he glanced between the two of us and then down at the guns.

“You won’t need those,” he spoke softly and both of us made sure the weapons were safe before stashing them away.  

“What are you doing out here?”  Danni questioned and watched as Cas stopped just a few feet away, drawing her and I closer so that the conversation was kept as quiet as possible.

“I wanted to check in on you and see that you arrived safely,” he looked me over from head to toe and back. “I see Sam kept his word to deliver you unharmed.”

“As always, you little snot!” I said as I rolled my eyes and this got a small smile, almost a hint of laughter from him as the corner of his lip turned up.  “Now really, what’s going on?”

“Something is in the area,” he sighed and looked down for a moment, as if listening before his eyes flickered between mine and Danni’s never settling for too long.  “Have you been to the store yet?  Have you seen the mirror?”  He was staring at me now and with a worried look, I shook my head.  “Be careful when you do go, something is guarding it, something that I’ve never felt before.”

I watched as he pulled a letter-sized envelope from the inside of his suit jacket and handed it off to me.  “And what’s this, more homework?”

“It’s the missing piece of the puzzle that you were having difficulty with the last few days, the one piece that you kept telling me didn’t feel correct in your family tree.” He answered, his hands by his side once again. “I managed to find it and though I don’t believe it will be an issue as far as your family line goes, I do think that this suggests you are looking at something beyond an angel and a demon.”

“Like what? A giant mutant hamster somewhere down our bloodline?”  Danni smiled but Cas set his eyes on her, and his lips grew taunt. 

“A hybrid.”

“I’m sorry,” I spoke up, capturing his attention, “a what?”

“A hybrid, something not only human but also part angel and part demon.” He spoke it as if it weren’t the worst thing we’ve ever seen, as if the vampires were scarier than an angel/demon hybrid.

“Okay, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that a bad thing?”  Danni questioned and Cas merely looked at her, there was something off about this angel.  He wasn’t acting like his usual pain in the ass self, especially the self he had become around us in the last month and a half and I sent Danni a look, she knew just what I meant.  “Cas, what happened?”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to,” he said softly.

“Tell us about the hybrid,” it was a theory but I had to try it.

“His name is Zadimus, though he has a last name, it’s not important, it’ doesn’t matter, what does is that he is part of your bloodline, both of yours, and he is well over five-hundred years old.”  Cas spurted out, but when he stopped talking, he gave a little bit of a head tilt, as if he were confused and his brows furrowed and I heard his jaw snap shut before he looked up at us once again. “Why did I just tell you that?”

“Cas,” I stepped forward, cautiously reaching out a hand and while he normally wouldn’t have moved, I watched as he took a step back. This action made me stop and I dropped my hand instantly.  My angel was full of confusion and no matter which way he thought about it, he couldn’t seem to figure out why he would blurt that kind of information out.  “Cas,” I whispered and watched as his hand slowly came up, palm out and I gingerly placed mine in his, letting his fingers wrap around mine, “are you with me?”

“Technically, I never left,” he said smoothly without missing a beat and I watched Danni smile before she shook her head and bit her tongue at the comment.

“I need you to answer a question for me,” I whispered, keeping his eyes in constant contact with mine.

“Apparently, that doesn’t seem to be an issue at the moment, since I can’t seem to keep from answering anything truthfully,” he rambled off and yet again, those lips went tight and he frowned.

“Okay, I’m just gonna do a straight up question, no “riddle me this”, okay?”

“I… I don’t understand that reference,” he whispered, getting a little frustrated with himself.

“Just… just forget it,” I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my free hand.  “Cas, did you go by the shop?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I was on my way to my post, out by the cabin that John is occupying, and stopped into the store to see if I might be able to track down the source of what plagues the town, and Jordan Springs.  I didn’t find anything out of the ordinary.”  He admitted.

“Did you find the mirror?” Danni spoke up, seeing where my train of thought was going and I watched him tilt his head, as if he were contemplating not answering her, which was something I found strange, but he only gave her a nod.

“Okay,” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, steadying myself for what I thought might be the answer I didn’t want to hear. “Cas, did you  _ look _ in the mirror? I mean stare into it for any length of time?”

“For precisely 8.12 seconds,” he answered, and I shook my head.

“Precisely,” Danni whispered and placed a hand on her hip, shaking her head.  I looked up at her, my brow raised as a question.  “I think I looked at it for three seconds and saw you standing behind me, it was what freaked me out, it’s what made me call Cas and take the pictures.  You were there, Ali, real as can be, real as right now, and I knew you were 450 miles away, alone.”

“So, what, you decided that it would be a good idea to bring me down here… HERE of all places at this time of year?  I’m sorry Danni, but did you even think of what we’ve been doing the last few months.  Us being together now is the worst idea ever.”  She looked at me, hurt crossing her face, reaching her eyes and I took a breath. “I’m sorry, Dan, I didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah, you did! And you’re right, bad timing, wrong town, wrong time.” She answered, looking furiously at me.  “But, I had to know that you were safe, I needed to see with my own eyes that you weren’t sitting in the dark, in that damn basement, staring at the walls hoping something, anything, would pop out at you, or worse that Jones had given you something stronger than a vengeful spirit to salt and burn, since you seem so hell-bent on proving that you can take care of yourself.”

I stood silent for a minute. She was right, of course, I was so obsessed with the family line and with the cases that what she was thinking was exactly what I was doing, except she was wrong about one thing.  Jones gave me some cases and yes, mostly spirits, but it was Carol’s investigating that had led me to a Wendigo in New York, a vampire in Connecticut, and some ghoul in northern New Hampshire.

“Okay,” I sighed, “I get it, and I’m sorry. Things have just piled up and they’re getting worse, the mythology, the shit storm we’re about to jump into, and we don’t even know anything about these blades let alone now we find out we have some angelic hell-bitch hybrid on our tails as well.  Danni, come on, you have to see the crap that we are being handed here.”

“I see it, I’ve been seeing it over your shoulder for the six weeks, Ali, and I think I see it clearer than you do sometimes. We are royally screwed and there is nothing we can do about it,” she snapped back, “except do what we do best with the help of those boys, and that’s solve this case.”

I took a deep breath, knowing that this, well, we’ll call it an argument for arguments sake and be done with it, but I knew it was far from over.  I was way too obsessed with everything to just let it go.  Letting my lungs fill at that moment gave me the opportunity to take in the slightest hint of sulfur in the air, but as I let it out, and sniffed again, it was gone. I stashed that little side note away, hoping it was nothing before I turned back to stare at the confused, blue-eyed angel.

“Cas,” I watched him take me in with just a bit of uncertainty. “What did you see in the mirror?”

“Dean,” he answered, still honest to a fault, no thought process or filter to block him.

“Alright,” I closed my eyes and sighed, “think for a minute, why would you see Dean?  What were you thinking about when you looked into the mirror?”

“How much I needed him and how close he was to me, yet, how far away.” Yep, not even two seconds of thought and out popped that gem.

“So, the mirror shows you what you really want?”  I whispered, not to either of them but as I thought about it, it was the only thing that made sense. “You want Dean,” it wasn’t a question to him, but a statement, and I heard Danni scoff behind me.  As gently as possible, I turned and gave her a look, just one little look. “Not what I meant, want get your mind out of the fanfiction gutter?”

“He wants Dean?” She smiled, “where else do I go with that?”

“Not in a Destiel kind of way,” I smiled back.  “You wanted me here, it showed you me. Cas wants Dean, to be part of the family again, and it shows him Dean, but Cas stared longer…” I looked up at Cas and shook my head. “We got to go!”

“What?” Danni questioned.  

Yeah, it was all making sense to me now but nothing to anyone else and I didn’t know if I had the patience to explain, but when I tried to walk away, the hand that held mine stopped me in my tracks and I turned back to look at the angel.

“Castiel,” I whispered and watched him stare. It was a blank one, as if he weren’t truly there, and the grip on my hand got tighter.  The pain wasn’t bad but it brought the anger out in me as I ground my teeth to hold back the yelp and even as my jaw clenched, and the fingers between his felt like they were about to break, I reached a hand up and lay my empty palm against his cheek. “Cas,  _ let go! _ ”

He blinked at me, some sort of spark returned to his eyes and he instantly released my hand.  Without a word, he gave each of us a look and then turned to disappear into the darkness before we could hear the whoosh of his wings in the night.

I walked past Danni, who followed me towards the edge of the building just as three police cars went flying by with lights and sirens blaring. We stopped to watch them pass before I looked down the row of doors to the boys who were standing outside the room at the end of the cars, and Sam looked up towards me.

“This isn’t good at all,” I sighed and turned. Danni and I made our way towards the boys, but Dean was already standing at the driver’s side door when we arrived.  “Two cars?”

“Yep, but Sam and Danni can take the Charger, you and I need to have a little chat,” Dean’s voice was deep and hurt, not angry but just hurt, and I glanced up at Sam, who just shook his head a bit before getting in behind the wheel of the Dodge.  “They’re going to follow the 5-0, you and I are headed for a store.”

“I didn’t know you were the shopping type.” I grinned and caught Danni’s questioning gaze before I shrugged and slipped into the Impala. Ah, back in Baby, and this time in the front seat. I settled down into the soft interior and let my eyes close as Dean turned the key and the engine roared to life.  Sam looked at me through the window, winked and gave a two-finger salute to Dean before he pulled out with Danni beside him.  I turned Dean and waited.  “Well, we going or what?”

“Or what,” he replied and pulled out into the street, turning the opposite way than his brother and we headed into the heart of Winchester, Virginia. 

~~~~~

We sat in silence for a few moments, parked at the corner right across from the store, waiting for it to close and for the people to leave, not that the town of Winchester was very large, but it felt as if it were getting small with the human one beside me growing bigger as we waited for the store to close. I finally got fed up, and turned in my seat, looking at him as he stared out the window at the storefront.

“So, what’s on your mind, Sugar Pop?” I questioned and watched as he gripped the steering wheel and clenched his jaw.

“Something you wanna talk to me about?” He retorted and looked at me with a raised brow out of the corner of his eye, but I was completely unsure of what he was getting at. “You couldn’t come to me with questions, you had to ask Sammy?”

Oh, now I get it.

“Well, if he told you it the right way, and you weren’t so stubborn, you would know I did tell him the questions were more for you than him, but he wanted to hear it out.  He didn’t tell me crap that I hadn’t already guessed and if I really wanted to know more, Dean… well, I’m pretty sure you’re aware of my lack of filter.”  I growled and crossed my arms, turning away from him. We were back to that awkward silence again and I never liked it especially with Dean, so sighing was my only course of action, at least sighing until he was forced to look at me, which he did with a scowl on his face.  I finally turned to him and relaxed my arms, my hand coming to rest just inches from his on the seat. “Sam told me about his childhood, about how he was when he was growing up, that you were his rock, but the way you reacted when I said that thing about John missing, I knew something was up.” I looked up into his green eyes, the ones that had only a hint of anger in them when he realized what I was getting at. “I told him that I was going to ask you, but he thought it was about him, so I let him talk, let him tell me how he felt about the situation.”

“Why would you bring that up at all?” His voice was quiet, steady and full of nothing, I mean literally nothing, which was probably a really bad sign. “Of all the things in the past to dig up, you go with Dad’s on a hunting trip and expect Sammy,  _ our _ Sammy, to be okay with that? I get that you were trying to solve the mystery of Sam Freaking Winchester, but that shouldn’t include prying around for that.”

“I wasn’t try to solve Sam, Dean… I was trying to put the puzzle pieces of something else together and that one piece just…” I took a deep breath and collected myself.  “The way that you came back and got him, the way you  _ were _ when you  _ found _ him, Dean, what the hell happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he clammed up and turned in the seat, but his fingers slid closer to mine, not away and I decided to make the move. I rested my hand over his, my fingers over his fingers, which probably looked like a baby was holding his hand, and tucked the tips between his index and middle. I waited just a minute and felt them close together, trapping even the tiniest parts of me in a protective grip. “Someday, okay?” he asked as he looked over at me, “someday, I’ll tell you.”

“Okay,” I nodded and we went back to that silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore and he didn’t let go.

~~~~~

Dean and I sat in silence, staring at the time on his watch, rolling his eyes, but no comments, no words of any kind, at least until the lights went out in the store, just about the same time that the phone on the seat next to our joined hands lit up like a Christmas tree.

I reached for the phone, Dean reached for the door as the own locked up the shop and started to walk away. Giving it a minute to clear out, not that it would take long since we seemed to be the only ones on the entire street, I picked it up and swiped over Danni’s text message as Dean looked over. He only released my hand because there was no choice, no way to grab the keys and open the door at the same time.  A sigh of frustration left my lips as I also grabbed the handle

We were out of the car simultaneously and he was just waiting on the news as we walked silently across the street and ducked around the back corner, headed towards the alley.  Glancing around, he set his eyes on me as we walked.

“So, what d’ya got?”  He questioned, and his eyes left mine to make sure we weren’t followed, by human or monster.

“Same as the others, murder/suicide, but get this,” and his eyes turned to land on mine, which made me smile because though I hadn’t meant to, I pulled a Sam line out of the air and put it in the conversation. “They found a receipt from our little store here, and apparently, they had bought some old dishes, and a hairbrush?” I stopped and looked up at him, “who buys someone’s old hairbrush… just eww!”

“Maybe it was one of those expensive, decorative silver ones,” he suggested and I stopped as he pulled the lock-pick kit from his jacket and started to work on the door, but noticing my lack of movement, he glanced in my direction, “what? I watch QVC.”

“Weird,” I whispered and watched him stand, grab the knob and quietly turn it until it clicked.  No alarm, no backup chain and best of all, no deadbolt.  He pushed the door open, gun suddenly in his hand and checked it out before he gestured to me to start to head in. “They’re on their way.”

“So, I know how your mind ticks, Porter, what’s your theory?” 

Did I tell him about the odd way that Cas was acting?  Did I bring out the part that said: “well you know Danni looked in it and saw me”, or did I just go with, “hey by the way did you know we had a hybrid on our ass?” None of them seemed like a feasible reason to upset the man in front of me and I shrugged.

“I need to see it before I really make that kind of real theory.” 

He stopped in his tracks, stood straight and turned to me, lowering the gun. “Okay, what’s going on with you?”

“I have no idea what you’re getting at,” I shrugged and moved past him, but his hand curled gently around my upper arm and I smiled, glanced down at it, because, yes, we were back to our regularly scheduled program, before I looked at him.  “Dean, let go so I can check out this stupid mirror.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean,” he groaned and released the hold on me.  I sighed and the two of us made our way into towards the shop. “You’ve been dodging my question all day, that’s not like you, Al. There has never been a thing you couldn’t tell me, and believe me, you’ve told me a lot, and I mean intimate details, so why are you holding out on this one?”

“It’s just a theory, Dean, no need to get all puffed up and protective.” I felt his fingers ghost down my spine just as I finished my sentence, apparently, he did need to get protective.  Suddenly, there was a feeling in the room, something like the same one that surrounded Cas just before he disappeared.  Yep, something powerful was sitting here and we were being watched.  “We should hang back until the other two arrive.”

“Look,” he whispered close to my ear, and suddenly I felt the heat of his body as I stopped and he stepped up behind me, his hand catching my hips but I caught a glimpse of the colt in his other hand, finger away from the trigger but still lightning fast.  I glanced up at where he was looking and saw the item that they had all been so bent over. “Why hang back? What do you got?”

“Just a feeling, and a powerful one,” I replied and shivered against him, not that I was cold, but the power was growing and I noticed something else that seemed a little off. My irritation level was starting to climb.  His body was too close, his hand was gripping me too tight, the smell of his skin was just too much and I was suddenly standing outside his grasp, looking up at him as his own eyes registered the same apprehension that mine did.  “Okay, this isn’t good.”

“Where the hell are they?  I just wanna get as far away from this place as possible,” he growled.  Shit, this was going to get ugly real quick if we stayed in here any longer.  Just then, the door in the back squeaked on the last protest of its hinges, and Sam stepped in, ducking to avoid some strange objects, probably planes but I couldn’t make them out in the dark and my light was aimed at the floor.  Danni was right behind him and Dean sighed in relief.  “Okay, let’s do this.”

Sam stepped up to me, kissed me quickly on the top of the head and gestured with his hand for me to lead the way, his own gun out and at the ready.  Maybe I was the only one that didn’t think it was necessary to bring a weapon to an antique shop, but I guess always being prepared was more than a boy scout motto.

They stepped back as I circled it.  It was just over five and a half feet, maybe a little taller. One of those hand-carved, dark cherry mirrors with a dark finish that made it look even more ominous locked in the shadows of the store.  I kept my eyes off the reflection that yelled at me to look up, but held my grown even as my heart began to thump.  My fingers traced the pattern in the wood and I knelt down to take in the way the braces at the bottom were covered in the same ordinate design.

This was definitely not your Grandmother’s boudoir mirror, no this was something meant to be front and center, but as I moved around the back, where the three of them stood, I noticed something else that was there.  Etched into the woodworks, not haphazardly but with care and a steady hand, were symbols, the ones I had been memorizing since the first time I had seen them in Danni’s picture.

I looked at the boys and sighed.  “Do me a favor, go on the other side and tilt the mirror towards you.” Both Sam and Dean moved, each taking a side to make sure that it didn’t come off the pivot bolts that allowed it to move and they glanced at each other before their eyes seemed to flicker towards the shining reflection. “And  _ don’t look  _ in the damned thing!”

This seemed to snap them both out of it, which again was strange and unusual because it seemed to be the same thing that happened when I touched Cas, when I told him to let go.  The boys looked at me with a bit of confusion before they did as they were told, tipping the mirror’s top towards them so I could shine the light on the writing that scrolled down the sides.

“What does it say?” Danni questioned, just as my fingers traced the outline of one of the letters and I glanced up at her with a frown.  “Come on, Ali, you’ve been giving us all the shaft about this thing since the go, you know what it says, so spill.”

I sighed and straightened, my eyes moving over all three of them before resting on the mirror again. “It’s reverse Enochian.”

“That’s what Cas said it was,” Danni whispered.

And the two-voice chorus chimed at the same time: “Wait, you saw Cas?” from Dean, and “How do the hell do you know that?” from the other.  I glanced over at Danni and waited because I knew why I could read what it said but I didn’t know that Cas told her.

Nothing, no one was saying a word, so that was when I spoke up, glancing at Sam. “Enochian is the language of the angels,” and I got the “duh” roll of the eyes from both men, “of course Cas would know what it looked like, hell he could probably have read it but then again, there is the possibility that he couldn’t.”

“Why?”  Dean questioned, “because it’s reversed? We’re talking demon language, as in hell-script?”

“Yeah, and it’s a spell,” I whispered and moved around to the front, backing the body away as the mirror came to stand straight again. “My theory, now that I had seen it, was that this mirror could show you what you really wanted, and you became obsessed enough to actually try and go out and get it,” I searched over the design again, trying to ignore the pull to look as I gave each of them a shove to move behind it.  “Problem is with a demon spell, if you don’t get it, or if it happens to be a person.”

“Then no one can have them either,” Sam spoke up, sighed and shook his head. “That explains the MO on the victims, they wanted something, but since they couldn’t have it, no one else would.”

“So, each of these were done because of someone’s desires?”  Dean questioned, and I looked up at him nodding, but he turned quickly to Danni.  “How are you feeling? You looked in the mirror, is that why you freaked out about Ali?”

“Yeah, I mean I guess, but I feel fine,” Danni shrugged and set her eyes on me. “So, why do I feel fine?”

“You got what you wanted,” I smiled and raised a brow. “You wanted me here, and here I am.”

“Oh no,” she whispered and her jaw set, a frown crossed her face.  “Cas.”

“What about Cas, and when the hell did he tell you about the Enochian?” Dean growled, turning towards her.

“We need to get out of here, and figure out how to break the spell before anyone else gets hurt.” Sam added and I suddenly felt the weight of the flashlight in my hands. With a deep breath, I swung, just like that night with the vampire, I just swung. Raising my free arm up to block my face, glass shattered all around me and feel quickly to the floor. Sam, Dean and Danni all jumped at the sound, which almost mimicked the rumble of thunder.  “What the hell, Ali?”

“Spell broken, at least for anyone else who might have looked into it,” I sighed and stepped past the pile of shards that lay on the floor, joining the other on the backside of the object.  “For Cas though, not so much.”

“Why?”  Dean questioned, the concern for his angelic brother dripped in his voice but his face didn’t show anything that would suggest anything except anger.

“Because the spell wasn’t just to cause havoc, it was for a specific purpose, now can we please get out of here!” There was a need in me, a desperate need to get as far away from there as we could and fast.

“Yeah,” Sam whispered and took my hand, “right now would be great.” And he tugged me towards the back door, Dean and Danni not far behind.


	40. DH God Killers - Ch 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes what you need to know isn't exactly what you really want to find out

**Chapter 7**

Sam pulled me towards the Charger, which was parked on the opposite side of the street behind the building about four houses down, while the other two headed for the Impala.  I’m guessing that I had been away from him for far too long and Sam just needed me by his side. He had told Dean “see you at the room”, but as we both settled down into the seats, he suddenly reached over and placed a hand on my cheek, holding me there as his lips placed a bruising kiss on him, but I wanted it, I needed it, and I wrapped my fingers around his wrists. 

I heard the seat slide back as my eyes remained closed, taking in the feeling, the scent of the man kissing me and before I knew it I was nestled comfortably in the fold of his hips, one of his hands tangling in my hair as the other flattened against my back, pulling me closer.

His lips never left mine, in fact they became more consuming, and I found it hard to breath and a little hard to keep up with his need as his fingers slid from my back to the button-down I was wearing.  Highly skilled in the art of one handed button removal, I felt the shirt loosen on my skin.  I wasn’t holding back much either as I gripped at his hair with both hands, holding him as much as he was holding me because I wanted his kiss, longed for it.  Eight hours in the car was bad enough, a month and a half and only two little romps at the house was far too little for my tastes.

“Wait,” I whispered against his lips, placing my forehead against his as I caught my breath, but he tried to tug me in closer. “This is too wide open, we can’t do this here.”

“I’m not letting you go,” he growled and pushed up to find my lips, making it hard to resist him as I kissed him hard.

Breaking the lip lock one more time, I braced myself against the pull to just take him there. “Then drive, I’m not moving.”

I’m not sure why it was so intense, but there was no way that I could release him, no way that I could take my hands off from him. Something inside me told me that if I let him go, bad, bad things would happen and that scared me.

Sam put the seat up, just a little, and I gasped as it pressed me against the hard evidence of this little tryst.  I heard the engine turn over as I pressed closer to him, locking my hands behind the headrest as I my body rubbed every part of his that I could touch and I heard him growl, then moan when my lips came down on his bare neck, running across the slope of it until I hit his shoulder.

I don’t know where we when or how long it took us to get there but I was ready and willing when the car came to a complete stop and he put it in park. His lips caught mine for the first time since he has started to drive, which he was an expert at as he not only handled the distractions of ongoing traffic, but the fact that I had gotten his zipper down and was man-handling him as he went.

I felt his teeth graze my ear as he breathed into me. “Get out!”

It wasn’t a command, but the force behind it only made my body ache for him more as he opened the door and turned his legs towards the open air.  Wherever we had landed, it was dark and quiet and there was nothing for miles.  I couldn’t help the smile that crossed my face as I slid from his lap, but he didn’t let me get far.

As soon as I was on my feet, I was pressed against the side of the dark ride, his body hovering over mine, still out and at the ready and my hand closed around him once more, sliding up until he was grinding his teeth and his body against the feeling. His mouth came down on mine, claiming and needy.  This man was hot as sin and I wanted anything he planned to do to me. 

My first thought was the back door would open when he moved towards the back of the car, taking me with him but he never bothered to open it. In fact, we moved right past the bright red tail lights until I he had me leaning against the trunk. His lips left mine then, cascading over my neck as the shirt fell from my shoulders.  He left my bra alone, trailing down as it came undone until he reached my jeans.

Quick work of the button and the almost inaudible slip of the zipper over the sounds that were coming from me and I could feel the chill in the air across the heat that he had stripped bare. So we were both half naked and needy, and when he came back up to claim me again, I didn’t argue when he turned me, pressing my stomach against the end of the car.

He pulled the shirt down, exposing the back of my shoulders as I felt him press against the heated folds between my thighs. Never had I been so worked up as I was at that moment and when he slipped in, easily filling every part of me with himself, I thought my world was coming undone that very second.

One strong arm wrapped around my waist, pulling him against me as he moved with slow and even strokes, his lips and tongue caressing the back of my neck, the grove of my spine as I used my hands to support myself against the car.

The build-up was quick and intense and almost too fast, but he knew just what to do to make it last. I closed my eyes as the stars began to burst behind my lids and every nerve in my body was sent soaring higher. I was waiting for it, going with the tidal wave of erotic pleasure, waiting for that one movement that would send me over the edge.

His lips came down on the one spot that he had already marked, and his teeth raked against it hard enough to send shocks through me but when they finally latched on, not digging in, not branding, but just solid enough to make me feel every ounce of what possession, that was when it happened. I was done, my body completely unraveled and I had nothing to hold onto. My hand shot up to his hair, gripping it tightly as his pace became a furious race to see which one of us got to the finish line faster, but I knew he wouldn’t let me go, he wouldn’t leave me behind wanting for anything and as I felt my body shiver, as the muscles clenched around him and I felt him swell, I was gone.

I screamed his name, and thank god there wasn’t a soul for miles because it was loud and pleading for release, and once that name left my lips, my head fell forward, barely registering the way the car felt beneath my soaked hair.  It was cold, and smooth and felt really… and then he was moaning against me, the lips leaving me for just seconds as he stiffened, buried deep within me as his palm came down on the cold shine of the bar, finger spread wide until he clenched them into a fist.

I could feel him, the pulse inside me as he whispered something against my neck, moving his head to place his forehead against my back, never letting the hold he had on me ease for a moment as he let everything, every ounce of his nature flow into me.

Yeah, oddly enough, I could have stayed there forever. It was an odd position, I know, but to have him molded against my back, his warmth in and around me, that was what made it the most amazing place to be.  Sam sighed, his mouth laying little pecks on the tattoos that graced my skin and slowly he backed away.

The emptiness he left me with was almost too much and I longed to have him there again, but I felt his fingers gently tugging up my panties, the course jeans followed, and even as he turned me to face him, tucking himself away, he placed his hands on my hips and hoisted me up to sit on the back of the car.

He didn’t look at me, instead focused on the way the buttons slid into the holes of the shirt, paying close attention to each one until he stopped just before the top. That was when his eyes met mine, and I saw the pain in them.

Confused, I reached out, letting my fingers caress the softness of his cheek until I reached the line of stubble that graced his jawline.

“What is it, Sam?” I questioned with caution because he had never looked at me like that after something like this.

His lips parted, as if he needed to catch his breath and I watched his tongue flicker out to wet the dry skin before he leaned forward and pressed his forehead gently against mine.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he said softly and instantly my other hand was on his face, but I didn’t move him, didn’t look him in the eyes because I knew it was what he was feeling and he needed to let that out.

“You didn’t,” I sighed, “you never have and you never will.”

“I just…” he stumbled, “I just needed you so much.”

“I don’t remember being in any pain,” I smiled but how do you reply to him without sounding condescending?  I opened my eye and looked at him, seeing how tightly he had his closed and I couldn’t help the rush of my heart. “Sam… you looked.”

“It was just a glance,” he admitted and backed away, straightening as he did so. He had looked into the mirror and now I understood the urgency behind him.

“And,” I whispered, wanting to know, “what did you see?”

“What I wanted most,” his voice was soft as his hand feathered across my neck and I closed my eyes. The brush of his breath across my ear in the growing chill made me shiver, “you, only you.”

“But you have me,” I swallowed and grabbed his hips, pulling him closer, closing any distance that there might have been. “You always will.”

“I know,” it was soft and full of love, not unlike any other time that he had told me that he loved me. It was the only way I saw the softer side of him, the gentle side.  “It’s only cursed if you don’t get what you want, right, and I have everything I need right here, and Dean… I have Dean.”

“Wait,” I pushed him back just a bit, his words hitting just the right nerve to make me panic. “Sam, we have to go.”  I watched him step back as I scooted forward.  I didn’t have time to explain, I just knew that there was something very, very wrong. He stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm as I jumped down and as I looked up at him, I pleaded. “Please, we need to go now.”

~~~~~

I never pictured the Charger for a race rocket, but Sam knew handle anything with horse power so it took less time than I would have guessed to get back to the Econo Lodge North from the opposite side of town. Baby was parked in her spot, facing outward and ready to run and the door to the room was slightly ajar when Sam put on the brakes and slammed it into park.

I don’t think I even waited that long before jumping out of the room and heading into the room. What I found was less than thrilling as Danni sat at the table, arms crossed and Dean sat on the bed, looking defeated but both looked up at me in anger as I crashed through the door, with Sam behind me, still unsure of my desperate need to get back.

“Okay,” I exaggerated as I stopped to catch my breath and raised an eyebrow at Sam, “this is a little anticlimactic.”

“What were you hoping to find?” Danni questioned, her tone just a little off, “us in the middle of a good game of naked twister?”

Surprise and weirdness graced my face, mirroring Sam’s.

“Ah, eww, no,” I said, goosebumps rising on my arm, which told me the electric current in the room was going up, “why would you think that?”

“Why would he keep a phone call from me?” Danni questioned, and my eyes snapped over to Dean.

“I thought you told her.” I scolded and watched as he rolled his eyes and looked away. “He didn’t tell you?”

“Obviously not, so why didn’t you tell me?”  She stood from the table and moved to stand in front of me, her arms crossed.

“There wasn’t anything to tell.” I stepped past her and looked over the room, trying to fish out Sam’s handy work. Sigils and spells seemed to be all in order, so I turned back to the woman who had followed me. “We were talking the case, he was checking on our progress and I told him to tell you. Danni, what is going on?”

“You should have told me,” she scolded.

“Me?” I cleared my throat. “I should have told you that your boy toy was calling to check on his brother?”

“Why not call his phone then?”  Why was she acting so crazy? But my mind was going a mile a minute as I thought of the way we reacted to an argument earlier in the night, when Cas was around.

“I would have picked that up too, since he was driving or getting gas,” I answered but my whole head wasn’t in the disagreement, in fact it was far from it.  The words that did flow through me were the reverse Enochian spell on the back of the mirror. Oh, crap! “Listen, Danni, I’m not trying to blow this off and I swear that we will talk about this later, but now is not the time.”

“Why?” I closed my eyes at the question, apparently, now was the time. 

“The spell on the back of the mirror is an Enochian ritual to bring together the ones that you want the most, the things you want the most.” I whispered and watched as Dean looked at me.

“Yeah, you said that already, so what?”  Dean growled, and that’s when I noticed his crankiness.

“Wait, did you look in it?” He looked at me as if I had two heads because of my sudden concern but he just gave me a little shake.

“Not stupid, Al!” he grumbled.  “So, come on, let’s have it, why the rehash?”

“Cas,” I answered, and watched his face plummet into anger, and I so wanted to tell him that he could go fly a kite with the snotty ass attitude he had been giving the angel, but I didn’t.  “Look, you might not like it that he’s around, but he’s not here covering your ass, he’s here for another reason, unfortunately. Yeah, he did a misstep and got himself stuck in front of that bloody mirror, staring into it for God only knows how long.”

“Precisely 8.12 seconds,” Danni whispered and I turned to look at her, giving her a ‘not helping’ face before I turned back to Dean.

“8 point…look it doesn’t matter, what does is that we may have broken the mirror, but that doesn’t mean the spell is off.  It’s not broken.” I let out my breath slowly and took a second to close my eyes.  “I’m not sure how all of this works but seriously there is some major mojo flying around this place.”

“Mojo?” Dean’s lips tightened, “like angel mojo?”

“Like demon mojo, you ass!” I snapped and sat down at the table. Sam found his way to the other side of the bed next to Dean and waited. It was then that I remembered the envelope that Cas had given me but I didn’t take it out, I just made a note that it crinkled in my pocket.  “Reverse Enochian, remember, hell-script. Your words, Dean.”

“Okay, I get it!”  I watched him relax, and the tension in the room eased, making me wonder if he actually looked but wouldn’t tell me. I glanced over at Danni, who had decided that sitting there with her arms crossed was more comfortable with her feet up on the table, but even the anger in her face lessened. “So, demon magic, what do we do about it?”

“That’s the problem, I don’t have a clue,” I shrugged and reached for the beer on the table. Dean cleared his throat, sat forward and snatched it from me before I could take a swig. Sam laughed, went to the mini and grabbed me a soda, my preferred choice anyway.  He tapped Dean on the shoulder with it and we played pass the can until it ended up on the table beside me.  “This is what I got so far.  Demon spell, works on human, works double on angels. Cas couldn’t stop talking though, which is what I found really strange.  He would answer anything that we needed to know about Zadimus, or almost everything we needed to start looking into the lore.”

“What the hell is a Zadimus?”  Sam questioned and Dean glanced back at him before resuming his staring contest with me, which I wasn’t actually playing.

“Cas said that he was an angel/demon hybrid and about five centuries old but he has something to do with both Danni and I, both of our bloodlines.” 

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Sam whispered. “You traced your line back, there was no mention of a Zadimus, not even any mention in any journal about angels or demons.”

“Or apparent prophecies about her and I being the last in our line and blah, blah, blah,” I sighed, rolling my eyes. Yeah, hadn’t been around this block already like fifteen hundred times.  “Look, none of the research we found pointed to anything except that we were from the same starting line-up, the teams split up to different stadiums and somewhere along the course of the game, reunited under one banner sometime around the name Ellis, I think we pegged that about five generations ago, maybe six.”

“Huh,” was all that Sam said but I could see the wheels clicking in Dean’s eyes.

“There’s something else,” I whispered and I bit down on my lip, glancing over at Danni before I continued because I hadn’t told her this part, which was probably the very wrong thing to do but it just had to be kept a little bit of a secret.

“What more could you possibly pile on this?”  Dean snapped and I stood up stepped up to him and watched as he just tipped his head back. I wanted to smack him, wanted to outright deck him, but I knew it was something in the room, so I reached out and grabbed a handful of that messy spiked hair on his head and gave it a good yank before I turned around and went back to my soda. “Ow!” he whined. “Baby!”

“Don’t call me that,” I scowled and watched the grin start to grow on his face, and the air in the room lightened again.  “So, as I was saying, about 1954, the Men of Letters Boston Chapter got a little visitor, a demon named Hollister.”

“Like the clothing company?” Sam grinned and yes, it was so funny. Actually, I laughed when Cas handed me the file too because, well, how weird is that.  I shook my head, trying not to smile as Sam continued to bring those dimples out, and I had to look away. Another romp in the Charger would be in order if he didn’t stop.  After a moment, he looked up and noticed the eyes on him. “I, ah, I’m sorry, you were saying?”

“Anyway,” I continued but winked at Sam, “Hollister was kept down a neat little room just like the one you have in your basement, but while you tend to use it for other things than demons nowadays,” this time, I looked at Danni, who blushed, “they used it to interrogate him and what came out was some interesting stuff.”

“Like what?”

“The God Killer blades,” I whispered and watched as Danni sat forward. She knew about the blades but not about Hollister.

“What?” Sam whispered, “those are only rumored to be myths.”

“Wait,” Dean spoke up glancing back and forth between us before he stopped at Sam again, “you knew about these?”

“Yeah, the myth goes something like centuries ago, there was word of a prophecy that was beginning to unfold, so a bloodline was created, and along with the knowledge that two, and only two would be able to bring about the end of this event, certain pacts were made. Pacts of protection between those who wished to protect the bloodline for their own lives, to keep them from this awful fate, and pacts to ensure that they would indeed fulfill what they were destined for.” Sam rattled off and I was impressed by what he knew.

“The fact that you remember all that is freaky, you know that, right?”  Dean teased as he looked over his brother and sighed.

“There’s more,” I sighed and now those greens eyes rested on me. “In the fires of hell, two blades were forged, using magic that sealed the knives, making them unstoppable, with the ability to kill anything they came in contact with, right down to the blood magic that was folded into steel.” I watched Dean put a hand over his eyes and run it down over his face, giving his head a small shake as to say this wasn’t good. “Unique in the fact that they were forged in hellfire and blessed with angel grace, the knowledge that only those two would be able to weld them made both sides a little edgy. Deadly to both angel and demon, these blades were feared by all, but to some it signified the end of something greater than anything ever created.”

“Wonderful, so, where are they?”

“They don’t know,” Danni spoke up and looked at him, Dean sat up straight, annoyed that he seemed to be the only one out of the loop.

“They lost two blades with the magical properties to kill anything?” Dean questioned and watched her nod, “well that’s just freaking awesome.”

“Yeah, isn’t it though,” I set the drink down I had been holding and shook my head. “So Hollister gave them the whole spiel about the blades and why they came about and la-de-da, but what he also gave them was the knowledge that one of the sides actually had them hidden away in a secret area of the country, this country, until the time that they should be needed.”

“And what time is that?”

“Right around the time of the birth of the second blade handler,” I whispered and watched Sam’s face go blank. “About the same time as the summer solstice.”

“I don’t even know why I’m bothering to ask this but, please, tell me you know where the blades are supposed to be hidden,” Dean let out a breath.

“Winchester, Virginia.” I answered quickly and watched him stand.

“I need a drink!”  He gruffed and suddenly walked out the door, I heard the keys to the Impala jingle and the trunk open, then close with a thud as he walked back in the room with the bottle of Tennessee Whiskey.  I let him soak it in, wanted him to just keep the information for a little bit before I gave him anything else but he turned and looked at Danni.  “Cas came to you and told you that the drawing on the back of the mirror was reverse Enochian, right?”  She nodded, “and he told you that Ali really should be down here because you looked in said mirror and freaked out because of the curse?”  Again, she nodded, “and you never once thought to put that all together with the blade mythology and say to yourself that this was a very, very bad idea?”

“Hey!” I snapped at him and Dean looked over at me, “don’t be an asshole!”

“I’m not trying to be a dick.”

“Well, apparently, you’re not trying hard enough because you’re coming off as a major one right now!” 

Dean scowled at me and lifted the bottle before continuing. “I’m just trying to figure out why we are just now putting together the parts of how freaking bad this is all going to end. And, I would really love to know what else the two of you aren’t telling me.”

“Dude, you’re fugly,” I stated firmly and watched as he gave me the dirtiest look.  “Well, you asked.”

“And you’re full of crap!”  He winked, “I think I’m adorable.”

“Totally off topic here!”  Sam stated, reigning us in from our playful mood.  “Dean’s right, why would Cas tell you to bring Ali here if he had any clue on the prophecy or the blades?”

“You gonna tell them, or do you want me too?”  Danni questioned.  This was one rough night for all of us and all I wanted to do was hug her but she would probably punch me so I just let it go.  I shrugged and watched both brothers turn to me.

“Why do I always have to be the bad guy?” I sassed at her and she gave me an unamused look. “Look, Cas is in the area, he has been for months. I don’t think he realized it any more than we did that what was going down was going to happen now. His focus was on the case and the fact that John is hiding away somewhere in the area not on the fact that some centuries old prophecy is coming about in less than a week.”

“Hold up,” Sam said sternly, “did you just say that Dad’s here, in Winchester?”

“He didn’t specifically say that John was in town.” I tried to backtrack, but I watched Sam get an attitude. “He said he was in a cabin somewhere in the vicinity of Winchester.”

“Can we just make some kind of note about how really horribly ironic this is that not only are we in a place that has our last name, but also our father is here and I’m assuming the biggest fight in the history of heaven and hell is destined to go down in _Winchester_?” Dean piped up and that made me smile because leave it to him to put all the pieces of fate’s little giggle-fest together. “Why did we not see this sooner?”

“You weren’t looking, I was,” I answered and glanced at the three in the room, “it’s why I stayed away, why I didn’t jump on the bandwagon when I could have.  I was trying to avoid this, but I did it the wrong way, I should have opened my mouth instead of keeping it shut.”

“Bang up job on that, BTW.” Dean teased.

“Seriously, did you just say BTW?”

“I swear you two are a couple of five-year-olds!”  Danni snapped. “Look, I’m tired, I’m frustrated. I’m beyond pissed so either pick a bed or pick a room but otherwise, I’m hitting the sack and you guys can shut your pieholes.” She got up from the chair and walked over to the empty spot on the bed, kicked Sam off and laid down on her stomach.  “Good night!”

Dean let out a breath, glanced between the two of use and waved us out of the room.  I couldn’t help but notice the complete shift in everything around me. She wasn’t mad, she was drained and tired. Dean had stopped fighting too, so what had just happened, and why did I feel like I could run a marathon and not get completely exhausted.

~~~~~

The air that flowed through the slightly opened window was crisp and it helped cool the air and the body that lay tangled in the sheets with me but it did nothing for the racing of my mind.  Why hadn’t the boys known how to read the reverse Enochian? I know in the show they had only come across it a few times. Hell-script was what Dean called it but yeah, those two, the ones that were so separated from ours now, had Cas around all the time to show them, teach them, and even if Sam was a genius, unless Cas had come up with a way to do it, there was no way these two boys would have known how to read the reverse of their angel language. 

Hell, I knew Kevin had his hands on the Angel tablet, I knew he had them on the Demon tablet too but he must have never shown them how to read it, which was why Cas told Danni about it, and why he knew I could read it. Crowley had given me that knowledge so long ago that I could barely remember it, but as soon as I saw those symbols, I knew just what I was looking at, so like I said, my mind was racing.

One of the other problems was, the position wasn’t just comfortable, it was protective and if I tried to slip out of it right then, which was not long after another round of mind-blowing sex with a god, I would have woken him up. So, I just lay there, staring into the dark, watching the curtain move with what little light there was from the streetlamp outside.

It took another hour for me to be comfortable moving, sliding out from under his muscled thigh, slipping from those protective arms, leaving that heat, but I didn’t go far, just to the table, and closer to the breeze.

I fished the envelope from my pocket and slid my finger across the seam as I sat down, turned so that the little light shined on the old parchment and unfolded the paper.  There had to be six sheets, maybe more, but it had me sitting forward at the first line, and took me down a road I didn’t know was possible to travel but the further I got into the letter, the harder my heart beat, the faster my breathing got and it was all because of that first line.

June 21, 1975.

Dear Alison, happy birthday precious girl, you don’t know me, but my name is John Winchester.

I was headed down a rabbit hole and I didn’t even know it.


	41. DH God Killers - 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the hell is up with Cas? And what crawled up Danni's backside?

**Chapter 8**

I stared at Danni, the sun was just coming up from behind the clouds. Had it really been that long already?  The letter I had read had sent my mind into a tailspin, what the hell was I going to do with what John had written, and how would he have even known that back in 75’? He and Mary were just getting married, but it was all there, in black and white.  He had known my parents, known the moment I had been born and knew what was destined to come, but who was he to me, and how did I explain all of this to them.  

I didn’t want to look at Danni, I didn’t want her to see the confusion in my eyes, but the anger, the feelings of rage were growing once again and whatever the hell that mirror had done, it was still fully charged and active.  I just had to make it through the day, I just had to get to the point where I could find out from Cas where John was and get some real answers.

I had to.

I had barely slept, couldn’t keep my eyes closed even wrapped in Sam’s arms after that but then again, there was a power flowing through the air that seemed to make everything just a bit more itchy, just a tad more edgy and I could feel it in my bones.

Whatever this was, whatever was coming, it was affecting me differently than the others.  Danni and Dean were pissed off, Sam was confused and not so much needy as unsure, like the darkness in him had switched, turned off but the darkness in the other two had clicked on.  That bothered me, more than anything, because it made me think about what I was feeling.  Was this my darkness, was this the way that my evil feels? It wasn’t uncomfortable, it was energizing and invigorating and terrifying and I liked it.

What the actual hell? I liked it?

So, there she was, looking at me, she had just come out of the room to find me standing by the Charger, something Sam really needed to ditch and she was staring at me.  The bugs under my skin, the ones that I swear I could feel, started to crawl and my heart thumped in my chest, yes the adrenaline was starting to move again.

“Coffee?” I offered, the half empty cup in my hand, still hot from where I had walked over and gotten it from the main office.  It wasn’t bad for motel stuff, but it had a bit of a kick. Danni just shook her head and I watched as she prepared for yet another round.  If she was so hell bent for a fight, why was I so calm about it.  “Spill.”

“What?”  She snapped, as she leaned on the pole.

“You’re going to lecture me about something, so might as well spill, I don’t want to be tiptoeing around everyone in that room all day.” I said shaking my head.

“You think I came out here to lecture you?”  Her lips turned up in a grin as she gave just a small shake.  “No, I came out here to check on you.”

“I’m fine,” I shrugged and offered the cup one more time before tossing it in the trash.  “In fact, I’ve never felt better. So, I’m not so sure what you’re worried about.”

“Well, as you kindly pointed out last night, we’re here, in Virginia and it’s almost the Solstice, so you can see how I would be a bit worried about my little sister.” 

I smiled at this and crossed my arms as I leaned once again on the car.  “You mean, how am I doing outside of my hole in the wall research room, how am I doing off the solo hunts, how am I doing, I don’t know, dealing with real people?”

“Well, kinda, yeah.”  And this caught my attention.

“I didn’t lock myself away because I was afraid, Danni, I closed up shop because I needed to protect my kids, I needed to get down to the bottom of this and I couldn’t do it gallivanting around like the rest of the world with blinders on.” I watched as she grinned wider, but this time is was sarcastic.

“You know, you told me once that it was us against the world, sisters no matter what, so what happened?”

“It’s still that way, what do you mean what happened?”

“The trip was supposed to be you and me, not you, me, and the Winchesters. Not the four of us against the vampires or the demons or hell, even Crowley. YOU and ME, against the world and then when it was all over, you just left.”  I stared at her in shock.  “You packed your bags in your little rental car and you took off with Sam, granted he came back but that was because demons were raining down on my house.”

“I knew it,” I sighed, letting it out slowly. “I knew you blamed me for all of this.”

“I’m not blaming you, I want to know why you said  _ screw it  _ and just left.” The shock on my face grew and I had to remember that this wasn’t her, or at least this wasn’t entirely her.

“I didn’t just leave, Danni, I had kids to go back to, I had shit that I had to get in order and you know what, if you needed me that badly, all you had to do was drop a dime and I would have come down in a heartbeat,” I stepped away from the car and dropped my arms to my side.  “You had Dean to keep you protected, hell you had Sam, but I would have still been there if you needed me, if you had just said something one of the millions of times that you called.”

“I did drop a dime,” she whispered and I shook my head, “I dropped a dime so many times that I stopped counting and you know why?”

“Apparently, I don’t,” I snapped and watched her put her hands on her hips.

“You stopped caring.”

“Bullshit!” I pointed my finger at her, stepping up closer. “Everything I did in that house, in that basement, trying to figure out the why and when and how and whatever the screwed-up answer was to all of them, everything I did was to protect you! How the hell did I know you were dropping anything when all I could think about was keeping you safe because that’s what I needed to do to keep going, I need to protect you.”

“I didn’t need your protection, Ali, I needed you!”

“Yet the words “Al, you need to come here” never left your mouth,” I growled in reply.

“Or you were too pigheaded and into your magic to see that call right in front of your nose.” She retorted

“What the bloody hell are you talking about? There wasn’t a call, Dan, there wasn’t a message, there wasn’t a note, how the hell else did you intend to spell out how much you needed me?”

“I sent you Cas,” she choked back, and that shut me right up.  I stood straight and looked at her as confused as I felt. 

“You? You sent me... Cas?” I almost laughed, I’m pretty sure I really didn’t but I almost did.  “How exactly did you send me an angel?”

“Who do you think told him to get you?  Who do you think constantly sent him your way when you were in a jam, when you needed help with research?” My eyes widened because I had no clue. “Me! You think he spent a lot of time with you, no, he only did that because I sent him there to check on you, to make sure you weren’t doing something stupid, like looking into freaking reverse Enochian!  Honestly, Ali!”

“I thought Cas was watching John,” I whispered, watching her still fuming face.  “Why the hell would you send him to me, obviously, he thought you needed to be protected more!”

“Crowley,” she whispered and waited on me to respond in anyway, but the name just didn’t faze me.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“Crowley was the one that was watching over you, did you know that?” I closed my eyes, rubbing the bridge of my nose.  Did I tell her yes that I knew every time one of those black-eyed sons of bitches was outside my door? Did I tell her how many of them I sent rushing back to him with the very spells he had put into my head?  I didn’t say anything but just stood there.  “Yeah, that’s what I figured too, so I sent Cas to make sure that you were still in the right headspace, that you didn’t give into the shit you were playing with, and Ali, you came pretty damn close.”

“You know, you sound a lot like a Winchester I know, and I told him to screw off about what I did in my spare time too,” I snapped, referring to a conversation with Dean that we had one night when he was prying too much into what was going on at home.  Danni stood straight.  “Yes, he called! He called all the time to check on me and I’m not saying it to make you mad or get you jealous or any of that bull crap because you know I don’t want him like you do, but Dean called so much I swear he was living in my head, so no, I didn’t get your dime, I didn’t even pick up on the first ring, because I’m pretty sure that message went right to voicemail.” I went to walk past her, not as angry as I sounded, in fact I was really calm, which completely threw me off, and I stopped by her shoulder for just a second before I looked at her profiled. “The next time you need to reach out and touch someone, open your damn mouth and don’t send Castiel to deliver it!”

Leaving her there in the light of the rising sun, I turned and walked down the row of doors to the end of the building where we had met Cas the night before.  Just as I turned the corner, I stepped three feet further into the emptiness and turned, slumping against the wall. Tears streaked my cheeks but the emotions I felt, or the lack of emotions on the whole subject just had me staring into the distance.

_ You know you really shouldn’t stray too far from the pack. _ The seductive male voice whispered in my ear, no more like in my head and I looked around confused.  This wasn’t Cas, it certainly wasn’t Crowley, just a smooth sound with a bit of an accent, just a hint of one.

“Get the hell out of my head!” I grumbled, or was it growled, either way, I said it out loud.

_ Whatever makes you think that I’m in your head, maybe it’s the other way around, maybe you’re in my head, Alison _ . His voice was so familiar but I couldn’t place it, I thought back to all of the areas I had been, all of the stops I had made and yet I just couldn’t pick him out almost like…  _ I’ve been here all along? _

“I said get out of my head!”

_ My dear, I really wish I could, but you see, I truly am not there. You found me, you invaded my thoughts, you are in my head. Now, if you would kindly leave.  _

I felt the push of power, my head slammed back against the wall, and I sucked in the largest breath I could grab, filling my lungs and suddenly I was coughing as if I had been trapped underwater.  I scooted back against the wall and looked around. The smallest hint of sulfur filled the air and I got to my feet. 

What the hell just happened? What was that, or more to the point, who the hell was that?

Trying to catch my racing heart, I moved back towards the rooms, passing the one that Sam and I shared, I stopped in front of the open door to Danni and Dean’s room. All three of them were in there, all three discussing something, low and secretive but when Dean looked up from his favorite seat at the end of the bed and slowly began to rise as I braced myself in the doorway, Sam and Danni both turned their eyes up to look at me.

“Ali?” Sam whispered, and moved just in time to catch me before my legs gave out. Cradling me to him, Sam brought me over to the bed and set me down, Dean moved up beside me, but that was all I saw, because my sights were set on Danni. I swallowed hard, finally catching on to the words that were flowing from Sam’s mouth. “What happened? Where have you been?”

“You reek of demon!” Dean pointed out and that got my attention.

“There was someone in my head!” I blurted out and Sam lowered himself beside me.  Danni came up to the end of the bed and looked at me with worry.  Great, I had just made this all about me, again! “Look, it doesn’t matter.”

“You just said someone cracked your coconut and now it doesn’t matter?” Dean questioned a bit taken back. “How about you just go with the first statement and forget that I didn’t just hear you say it didn’t matter?”

“I,” I didn’t even know where to start is what I really wanted to say but there was a lot going on in my head at the time so all I got was, “it was a voice, he told me I shouldn’t have strayed far from the pack and that I was in his head, not him in mine.”

“Him?” Sam questioned. OH, great, was that all he was getting out of the conversation? The fact that there was another guy inside my skull? “Wait, it wasn’t Cas?”

“No, Cas has been pretty radio silent for a few weeks,” I sighed and realized why the him had affected him so much, he thought Cas was using me to get to the boys instead of talking right to Sam. Dean glanced over at me, his face hardened.

“You’ve been talking to Cas too?” Dean snapped. 

“Oh my God, Dean! So. Not. The. Point!” I growled.  “There is a voice in my head, and it’s not Cas,” I snapped and looked over at Danni, “and it’s not Crowley either, so who the hell is hashing around in my brain?”

“It’s Zadimus,” Cas’ voice boomed over the rest of the room and Dean spun, Sam stood straight and I just put my head back against the wall.

“Cas?” Dean whispered in shock, his usual reaction but I scooted forward on the bed putting myself between the two men, who dwarfed me in the middle. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Hello, Dean,” he said with his normal attitude and I watched as this scene played out for the millionth time, but that was when I saw the change in the angel.  The way his eyes did the same thing as before, went a little blank. 

Shit! Shit! Shit!

“Cas, you shouldn’t be here,” I groaned as the room began to spin. I could feel that dark energy building up, the same one that was in the store with us, the same one that was outside last night when we first saw Cas.

“No,” Dean snapped, “I think he should be here. I think he has some explaining to do.”

“Dean,” I whispered and tried to get Danni’s attention but her eyes were locked on the angel too, as if she were starting to get angry at him and then I remembered what he said. “Dean, he looked in the mirror.”

“So what?”  Dean snapped, and I could almost see his lip turn up in a scowl. “Does that mean he’s not man enough to explain where the hell he’s been the last few years?  Does it take his powers away and make him some sort of baby in a meat suit?”

God, if that wasn’t an awful twist on an episode.  My vision spun out of control as I essentially absorbed what they were putting out and I watched as Castiel’s face changed. I watched the anger grow in the angel’s eyes and that seemed to hit me like a wave.

“Cas, please, you need to leave.” I begged and swayed, suddenly feeling Sam’s hands on my waist as he moved me out of the way of the staring contest the two of them were doing.

“All I have ever done, all the wrong you think I’ve caused you, I did it to protect you!” Cas snapped and I watched him take a step forward.  “I have lived for years knowing that I have hurt you in every way possible, that I have lost your trust, Dean, but that doesn’t give you the right to choose whether I stay or go.” The space closed and the room got darker.  Why couldn’t anyone else see what was going on?  Sam seem unaffected by it, but since he had what he really wanted, maybe it didn’t work anymore.  Danni was still entangled with it, which made me think that I wasn’t the only thing she saw in the mirror. “Ali and Danni are my friends, they are mine to protect, and I won’t leave them just because you want to continue to hold a grudge that should have ended years ago.”

“You let Charlie die, Cas!” 

“I tried to save her!” the angel yelled back and the room shook. “I tried to save all of you, but I failed. I know that now and you are a constant reminder of that failure.”

“Why? Because I won’t let you off the hook?”

“Because all I want is you and Sam and I know I can’t have that.” Cas growled.  What he wanted the most, how the hell was I going to stop him if Dean didn’t realize what was going on. “I have stayed away, I have watched from a distance and I have been there when I could. I’ve watched over your father, trying to make sure that he didn’t do anything that would cause you to have to kill him, so that it wouldn’t break your heart, Dean, but I could never tell you because you wouldn’t have listened, because you blame me for something I tried to stop.”

“Tried and failed,” Dean snapped.

“Dean,” Sam tried to interrupt, but it seemed his voice was lost in the energy that flowed in the room.

“No,” Cas whispered, “the only thing I failed at was believing that we were truly family, that I could have what I wanted without paying the cost.  I know that now, I know that we will never be what we once were.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re seeing the bigger picture finally,” Dean scowled and that was when it happened. Cas broke. He realized that he had lost Dean, that the green-eyed man wouldn’t be swayed. Or at least not in the amount of time that Cas had, and the angel swung.

It wasn’t like it caught Dean off guard, not at all in fact. I think he actually anticipated Cas throwing a punch because he started swinging right back.  The fight moved faster than I could keep up with. Dean swung and Cas blocked, Cas swung and Dean blocked, but they got their punches in.  My heart raced as they went outside, tossed each other to the ground and kicked up the dirt on the hard gravel surface.  

Blood coated each man’s face, as Cas turned, getting the upper hand as Dean’s head knocked back against the rock, dazing him for just enough time for Cas to get in several punches that kept the wind knocked out of the older Winchester.  Sam raced towards them, I was right behind on shaky legs and Danni moved towards Dean.

You could see the anger on the angel’s face, the blue-white glow in his eyes as he raised his hand and drew out the angel blade that manifested from his grace. Sam Pulled Cas back, his arms looped under the smaller man’s, locking fingers behind his head as Cas used every ounce of his strength to try and bring the blade down on Dean.

My breath caught as the feeling grew heavy in my chest but there was something I needed to do, something that I could make happen, like I had done before. I mean it was a far-fetched possibility but there was nothing else to try except that. I moved from where Sam had left me, leaning against the car and it was almost as if I were stepping through a barrier, like wading through jello, something that didn’t give easily, but time had also slowed.

Sam still wrestled with Cas, Danni still held a bleeding Dean on her lap as he breathed through the pain of broken ribs and what looked like a broken nose, but as I reached him, as I reached out to touch Cas, time caught up with itself and I fumbled forward on unsteady legs.

My hands caught his shirt, not the jacket he was wearing but his bloodied white shirt and I reached up behind him, which was easy enough with the hold Sam had him in and grabbed a handful of that black hair. Once in my grip, I yanked his head down so that he had no choice but to look me in the eyes, his focus taken off Dean.

“Cas, you need to stop!” I growled and watched his lips pull back in almost a hiss. My other hand came up, knowing that blade could have easily turned on me and I grabbed ahold of his chin, holding his face still as I stared deep into that sea of blue. “Stop, Cas! Fight it!” Again, he struggled in Sam’s arms and snarled at me, but something inside of me took over the more I kept my hands on him and I took a deep breath. In Latin, because that was how it came out, I spoke an Enochian prayer, something that I just seemed to pull out of the back of my mind. Angel, take the devil from thine eyes. “Angelus diabolus tolle tibi!”

Cas took a deep breath, if angels really breathed, but his eyes began to glow a bright blue, making me close mine as I held his head still, but it was the heat that seared down through my arms, through every part of me that touched him, that had me screaming in pain before the light finally faded and I released him _. _

Struggling to take as many breaths as I could while I stood with my hands on my knees, Cas looked around confused, dropping the blade on the ground beside me and he quickly grabbed my shoulders. Sam released him as Cas helped me straighten up, his warm palm against my face and his expression full of pain.

“I’m alright,” I whispered and patted Cas on the chest, “just do something about him.” 

Cas looked past me at Dean, who still struggled to breath and quickly he let me go, but Sam was right behind him, wrapping his strong arms around me to keep me steady. I watched, grasping hold of Sam’s shirt while Cas knelt down beside Dean, the green-eyed man looking up at him with his own confusion, and Cas reached out, pressing two fingers against his forehead.

The light wasn’t as bright but I still had to look away while the angel healed him, and when Cas backed up, there wasn’t a scratch on Dean.  With a sigh, Cas stood, watching his friend and brother move freely and the angel turned to me.

“Thank you,” he said softly, “but I fear that from saving me, you’ve doomed yourself.”

I scoffed at him, and rolled my eyes. “No problem, Cas, anything for a friend.”

“This isn’t a laughing matter, Ali, I don’t understand why it amuses you.” Cas grumbled and I just gave him a crooked grin.  “What you took into yourself, what you took from me, that was Zadimus, that was his power, and I’m sorry, but I’m afraid for you.”

“It’s okay, Angel-face,” I whispered and found it hard to keep my eyes open as I leaned more on Sam, “you just keep taking care of Dad and make sure he stays put, let me worry about Zadimus.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” He sighed and looked at the brothers.  “I believe that Zadimus and the demon possession John are somehow connected.  It would be best if I didn’t leave you again.”

“For my protection?” I smiled.

“No,” he said softly and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand, “for theirs.” 


	42. DH God Killers - Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the hell is happening to me?

**Chapter 9**

For theirs? Really? 

“What the hell do you think is going to happen?” I questioned, pushing away from Sam as Dean made it to his feet, leaning on Danni. “I mean, honestly Cas, what am I going to do?”

“You took pure evil into yourself, a mix of angel and demon. The ramification of that are… well, we’re not positive what they are.” Cas shook his head, and then reached out, placing a hand on my shoulder.  “I’m sorry, Ali, but I believe you might be more of a danger to them than to yourself. John is safe, they may not be.”

I rolled my eyes at him, shook off his hand and stepped back, leaving the four of them standing there watching me as I kept going backwards. I raised both my hands and then let them drop by my side.

“Fine, you do what you got to do, I’m going to go get breakfast,” I growled.  “While I’m gone, Sam, you see what you can find on this Zadimus character,” and I watched the confusion in my lover’s eyes as I barked orders but then my gazed switched to Dean and Cas and pointed at them, “and you two, man up, suck it up, make up, and get the hell over it!” One last glance before I turned around and that was to Danni, “I love you and I never meant to hurt you, but right now, I need coffee.” 

I turned my back to them and headed out to the road, where just down the street was a small diner that I knew had some sort of pancakes, hotcakes or flapjacks whatever they tended to call them here, not that it mattered because that’s what I wanted.

As I walked away, the cellphone I had stuffed into my back pocket began to vibrate.  Annoyance at one more individual trying to take up my precious time rolled over me, but since I found that to be the oddest sensation I have ever felt, I pressed it down and looked at the screen. Huh, just the person I needed.

Pressing it to my ear, I started the conversation of with a cheerful: “Hey, Carol, what do you got for me?”

“Good morning to you too,” she laughed over the line and I couldn’t help but smile. I never had a conventional way of answering the phone but it never ceased to surprise her when I didn’t just say hello. “So, I got the pictures you sent me, and it took me a bit but I did finally figure out what they were.”

“Reverse Enochian, right?” I smiled.

“Exactly, how did you know?”

“That part of the case is solved,” I sighed and listened to the relief in her breath, “and now we have an even bigger problem.”

“I’m guessing the blades are coming into play since my GPS has you in Virginia, with Danni.” She stated like the smartass she was.

“Remind me to break this phone when I’m done with you because you tracking me, it’s, well, it’s kind of creepy.”  I stated sarcastically and she laughed again. Okay, she definitely had her coffee for the morning. “What do you got on the blades?”

“Nothing more than we’ve already found, the lore on them seems to be pretty straight forward. Only the last two in the pure bloodline can weld them, and they pretty much kill anything that moves. The one thing I did pick up is that there is a reason for the two blades.”

“Isn’t the reason so that the two of us can have them?”

“Not necessarily, it’s more for balance.”

“Balance?” I questioned as I walked into the small greasy spoon and found a place at the end of the counter, slid onto the stool and smiled at the waitress that brought me a coffee. “Like light and dark?”

“Precisely that.” 

“Okay, so tell me what I’m looking at exactly?”  I tried to keep my voice down but as I looked down to pour the creamer into my coffee, I watched my vision vibrate, like everything around me shook and I blinked a couple times, to get it to pass.

“Well, it’s almost a God and Amara kind of thing, you can’t have one without the other.” She mentioned going back to season eleven on the show.  “If one fails the other will destroy everything, but if they work together than they can defeat the enemy.”

“Great, two guesses on who is who,” I sighed and took a sip of the hot liquid, decided that there wasn’t enough sugar in my cup and reached two seats over for some more packets, but that was when I noticed the man at the end of the table.  I stopped mid-stretch and watched him for a moment. There was something wrong with his face, on top of the fully black eyes, which pegged him instantly for a demo **(n)** , it was gray and distorted like I was looking into a picture that had a double exposure.  “Carol,” I whispered, “does it say anything about the powers that the two have?”

“Not specifically, why, has something come up?”  Carol’s voice was full of concern and I sat back in the chair, took my cup and raised it to my lips as I looked around the room once more.  There were more of them, like half a dozen more, and they were all watching me.  I could feel the sudden rage filling in me as I placed the cup down slowly, dug a few bills from my pocket, smiled at the waitress and headed out the door.  

“Yeah, demons.” I whispered in reply as the door to the small place closed after me.

“Well, you’re armed right?”

“It’s, ah, kind of been a bad night,” I answered and hurried my ass up across the parking lot, “I wasn’t really thinking that demons would be on my tail so early in the morning.”

“I’m texting Danni,” she snapped.

“No, no,” I whispered in a surprisingly calm voice, and that was it, I realized it was because I  _ was _ calm. The feeling of overwhelming rage had all but disappeared. “I’m almost to the motel, just give me a second.” I glanced back, and sighed, I was completely alone.  “Okay, no need to panic, they didn’t follow.”

“Why were they there in the first place?”

“Really?” I smiled, “the biggest biblical battle in the history of war is supposed to go down here and apparently, it’s attracting them like flies.”

“Okay, I’m going to get back to research, if you should need anything, message me.” Carol sighed.

“I need to know what we stepped in here, and as fast as you can.  I might even bring Jones into it, he gave me some papers when we left Massachusetts that I haven’t been able to completely go through, and with my luck, that could be a bad thing.”

I stopped just before the end of the Charger and noticed that both the bedroom doors were closed, and there was no angel in sight.  Bells and whistles started going off in my head as I looked around but as I stepped up to my room, I watched my vision blur again, just for a second before I put my hand on the knob.

“Talk to you soon,” Carol whispered and I suddenly felt like I had missed part of the conversation.

“Yeah, talk soon.” I replied and took the phone away, disconnecting the call with a push of the screen.  

I opened the door quietly, looking into the dark room and, hearing nothing but Sam’s breathing, stepped in and closed it softly behind me. I set the phone down, removed my shirt, exposing the tank I was wearing and turned to see Sam sitting on the edge of the bed, the tri-folded parchment in his hands.  He looked up at me with confusion and then down at the paper as he gave it a little wave.

“I can ex…” I started but closed my eyes and smiled before looking at his waiting expression, “you know what, I really can’t because I have no idea what that is, I mean I know it’s a letter and I know it’s from John but other than that, I got nothing.”

“Ali, this letter is addressed to you, what do you mean you got nothing?” He questioned.  Oh, good, a serious conversation with Sam, finally… not. I grabbed one of the small, uncomfortable chairs from the table and slid it closer to the bed, turning it so I could straddle the seat and use the back as an arm rest, but it was also a barrier between him and I because I couldn’t seem to control any emotions at the moment.  “Just tell me where you got it?”

“Cas,” I whispered and watched him take a deep breath in, bite down on his lip and nod, but I could see that hardness fill his face, like he was putting his walls up to block any pain.

“Cas gave it to you,” he reiterated, a sarcastic smile gracing his lips. “And how the hell would Cas know where to find a letter from my father, addressed to you?”

I think the fact that he was repeating the importance of it seemed to seal it in his mind that, yes, John and I were connected somehow but that wasn’t all that the letter said. I cleared my throat and then sat up straight.

“Honestly, Sam, he handed it to me yesterday before we went to the shop and I read it this morning while you were sleeping. I had no idea about what was on there, and absolutely no clue he even knew who I was, but there is something about it that kind of gets me.”  Sam waited quietly, which seemed to make me more nervous.  “What if he knew my parents, I mean obviously, he had to know someone in my family to write that, but why wouldn’t he have done more than pull them from the car if he did.”

“Maybe pulling them from the car was the most he  _ could _ do, you had a hell hound close by,” Sam whispered and I folded my arms on the backrest, placing my chin down on them. “Dad traveled a lot when he was a kid, with his mom, I think, so it’s possible that he met your parents along the line, maybe he even knew them.”

“I don’t know, Sam, I mean you read it, right?”  I sighed and felt his fingers brush over my skin pushing my hair back from my eyes. I reached out and took the letter from him, held it in my hand and looked up into his eyes.  “Who starts a letter like this: happy birthday precious girl, you don’t know me, but my name is John Winchester.”

“I guess Dad does.”  Sam smiled, an actual smile at the mention of John. It was weird to see when I knew all of the stuff that they had been through with him, all of the rough years.  “I did read it, but who’s to say that it wasn’t code for something.”

“Yeah,” I cleared my throat and brought the letter closer. “You don’t know me, you probably never will but I wanted to say that I’m sorry for not being there when you were born, for not being able to protect you. Your parents did so much for me, they saved my life so many times without even knowing they did it and I wish I could know you, but it’s impossible,” I read aloud. “By the time you get this, thing will be set in motion that won’t be stopped. You are a very special little girl, you don’t deserve what’s coming.”

“Kind of ominous,” Sam shrugged.

“Kinda, yeah,” I took a deep breath and watched him grab the chair, pulling it closer so that I could be within reach as he caressed any bare skin while I read.  “Enclosed are pages that I pulled from a box that I found in my father’s possessions, they don’t really tell me much, I mean he disappeared when I was eight, there wasn’t any way I could know the man. I believe, however that these are meant for you, this story, these documents, Alison, they’re you.  Protect them, learn them and keep them safe.  I have to get back to Mary.  I wish I could have met you.  Know that you will always be in my thoughts and I pray that angels look over you every day. John Winchester.”

“So, where are the papers?” Sam questioned and this made me look up at him.

“What do you mean, they were right there with the letter on the table.” I stated confused.  I turned towards my bag, towards the spot where I had left them and found it empty.  

“No, the only thing there was the letter, that’s why I picked it up, I thought you had written something last night.” I stood from the chair, moved away from Sam and started to search around the room.  The papers were gone.  “What was on them?”

“Ah,” I stopped, tried to gather my thoughts and shook my head.  “An old myth about the blades, some details about the two who are supposed to handle them, and the same bullshit about the history that you rattled off earlier.”

“So why were they so important?” I shrugged at him and sat down on the bed. 

“I hadn’t had time to figure it all out, I was too animated, I couldn’t sit still and by the time I figured out that I needed to do something, crap with Danni began.” I sighed and laid back on the bed, putting my hands above my head as I closed my eyes. I hadn’t realized how drained I was until I had a hard time opening them again.

It was Sam’s soft kiss on my bare stomach that made my eyes flutter as I moaned at the feeling of it, the warmth against the cold and I could feel his fingers tracing the skin on my right side.  I tried to move my arms, but they were heavy with exhaustion, and even words failed me as his kisses trailed over my navel and down to the waist of my jeans.

The weight shifted on the bed, but his hand remained where it was, and I felt the warmth of his breath against my ear.

“Don’t worry, baby,” and as much as I hated that name, I loved the way it sounded on his lips, “I’m not trying to start anything, I’m trying to get you to relax.” I thought I told him that I was too tired to relax and yeah if he wasn’t looking to start anything he should stop, but he just gave me a chuckle and I assume my words came out more like mumbles. “Yeah, you’re tired.”

His hand scooped under me from my waist and the other slipped beneath my shoulders, moving me up on the bed so that my head rested on the pillows, but when he went to move away, I had just enough strength to grab his arm.  

“No,” I whispered while inside I pleaded, because exhausted or not, I was actually scared.

“I’m just getting my phone, Ali,” his words brushing my lips, “I’ll be right back, gonna text Dean and let him know we’re sleeping.”

“Mmm,” was all I managed to get out before the bed moved again and strong arms wrapped around me.

For the first time in as long as I could remember, I didn’t dream, in fact I don’t remember anything but darkness and while some might see that as a blessing, I found it to be unsettling.  From someone who battled demons every night behind closed eyes to total blackness, I knew something was wrong, so when I suddenly found myself with my eyes wide open looking at the sun that streaked through the dirty window, my body shook from the force of it.

I had woken up with that feeling before, a strange vibration that coursed through me, one that even made my vision shake and I chalked it up to being pulled out of a good bout of REM sleep too fast, but this time, the feeling of danger accompanied it. 

My hand reached under the mattress, to the handle of the spectrum blade, the same place I tucked it every time I stayed in a room. I felt the body beside me shift, Sam was still sound asleep, his breathing still even and light so I knew that whatever I was feeling wasn’t him. 

The blade slipped silently from its sheath and I waited, letting my body settle, letting the way that it felt subside before another feeling took over. That thickness in the air, the one that I felt at the shop, outside when I was trying to get to Cas, even before that when I walked in on Dean and Danni arguing, that feeling of not being able to breath because the room had become some sort of spacewalk washed over my body.

I knew just where Sam’s body was, he was laying with his back to me, not more than three inches away at any point along the parallel of our heads to our tailbones, but his legs were bent and curled up towards his chest, mine were stretched and I could feel a chill on my toes.  That was when the heaviness seemed to settle on me and I made a move, I flipped over, bringing the spectrum up from under the mattress with my right hand and stopped it dead, pressing it against the flesh of whatever the hell was hovering over me.

“Funny, you don’t look like a hybrid,” I whispered, as the man that lingered above me smiled.  He was young, probably Sam’s age, shorter than Dean, thinner than Cas, but his eyes were a deep brown, almost black.  He had an angelic baby face, and a wide grin that would have had any woman fooled into thinking he was just that, an angel, but I could see the demon just outside those human features.

“Exactly what are you doing in my bed?” He questioned, and there was that voice again, the one that had invaded my mind beside the motel.  Without removing the blade, I chanced a glance around the room and noticed that the body that lay next to me now, not three inches from mine, was a busty brunette who was completely naked.  My eyes widened as I quickly took in the man who hovered, and my gaze ventured down the smooth muscle of a naked chest, all the way until it met the dark patch of curls and the curve of his hips bones. Christ! He was naked! “It seems you caught me sampling the local wildlife. Care for a spin?”

“What the actual hell!” I snapped and pushed up with the blade. “Are you in my head?”

“No, you’re in my room.”

“How did I get here?” I never moved, not a muscle as I felt him pressing down on me from just about my waist.  This was not good, not good at all. 

“I’m not exactly sure, but now that you are,” he winked and that was it, I pushed up with the knife, and used my free hand to give him a shove against his breast bone. He laughed as he sat up, letting me see ALL of him as I scooted back on the bed, the woman beside us never stirred.  “I’ve never met anyone quite like you, Alison, you’re a mystery to me.”

“I’d like to stay that way, if you don’t mind.” I snapped, still holding the blade defensively.  “Why can I hear you in my head?”

“This is all new to me as well,” he shrugged and wrapped the blanket around his waist as he sat down on the bed, getting more comfortable on his legs.  Did I mention his voice? It had a soft accent to it, almost British but not, and I tried to place it, but I couldn’t. “In five hundred years, I’ve never met another like you?”

“Why because I can wield a blade?” I was totally confused about why I was even sitting there having that conversation and not trying to figure out where I was.

“No,” he said as he suddenly closed the distance between us, placing his hands on either side of my head as he pressed me against the headboard, his face mere inches from mine, “because I’ve never felt such power from someone who refuses to use it.”

“I know my role in this biblical war, Zadimus, and there is no way in hell I’m going to kick it into gear by actually giving into the darkness.” I hissed through clenched teeth.

“Oh, Beautiful, you’ve been giving in since the day you were born,” he grinned, and I watched his right hand move towards the nightstand.  He moved swiftly, pressing the tri-folded parchment against my chest. The blade sliced his skin as he pressed against me, and I watched the blood start to form along it’s line. “Trust me, you’ll give in, and when you do,” he stared down into my eyes with a lust that made me shiver, “you won’t need your little dark hunter to keep you company.”

“Go to hell!” I snapped and watched as he winked. He backed away just as quickly as he came forward, but with his movements, the lights went out and the darkness took over again.

_ Call me Zane, all of my friends do. _ His voice invaded my thoughts as I once again fought the feeling of being trapped underwater.

~~~~~

When I was able to open my eyes, when the breath came back to me full force, there was only one name on my lips and I turned over onto my back on the hard mattress of the motel.

“Sam!” I whispered but felt light screaming. He was instantly awake and aware, resting on one elbow while the other arm was straight, holding his weight as he leaned over my side, his blue-green eyes full of worry. I reached up to him, noticing that the spectrum was not in my hand, and put one hand on his cheek while my other went straight into his soft hair.

“What happened?” His words were like breaths, just whispers as he leaned down, closing the distance as I dragged him down, the tears running from my eyes as I tried to erase the memories of the monster in my head. His eyes went hard, dark and protective as I heard his fingers curl into a grip on the sheets and he hissed out: “I can smell him.”

“Make me forget,” I pleaded, and I wasn’t above begging at that moment.  My skin crawled with the sensations of the demon, and I shivered as Sam’s fingers gently blushed through my hair. “I don’t want to remember.”

“Ali,” and my name was almost as soft and pleading as his eyes.  

Could he not do it? Could he not touch me because that monster had somehow left his prints? 

But the fear quickly faded when Sam’s claiming mouth captured mine with force. I wanted that bruising feeling, I wanted to give into everything he might give me and no, I didn’t want him to be gentle about it. I had a need, one that very much needed to be met and he was the only one that could do it. Sam was the only one that could erase the fear and banish the rage that I felt filling me.

I leaned up to his kiss as he sat up more, reaching for the bottom of the tank I wore, my hand tugging at his hair as he finally broke away enough to get the restrictive material away from my body. I could feel the heat from his legs against mine, the fact that at the moment the only thing that separated us from full contact was the cotton fabric of our underclothes, something both of us had managed to strip down to somewhere during the restless sleep.  

With no concept of time, we explored each other, with fingers and lips, gentle brushes and harsh tugs, until neither of us could take the separation any longer. The first thrust was full of urgency, the next of quiet need, and as he wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling me towards him, I knew there was nothing, no angel or demon that was going to tear him away.  I knew, as he loved me, filled me, completed everything with just his soul, that all I would ever need was him.

In the end, he was everything that I wanted, and the rough way we moved was just what I needed.  I didn’t want tender, I didn’t need gentleness. I begged for harder, faster, and he gave it without holding back and when that final crest was broken, when I was tumbling over into the blackness and my body wanted nothing more than to feel the waves of pleasure, he gave me that too.

Sated and exhausted, sweat soaked and panting, Sam’s body rested against mine, just off to the side enough that I could still fill my lungs with air, but I hugged him tightly to me, pressing my cheek against his hair as he buried his face in my neck. Finally, he released the mattress, his hands cramped from digging into it instead of me, still afraid of hurting me in some way that I might not find absolutely amazing, and those large fingers found their way to the spot just above my heart.  

His hand rested there, feeling the beat beneath it, and I took one last deep breath, before I once again closed my eyes, letting the stillness of the room and the weight of the man beside and on me, anchor me in this reality.

Outside, I could hear the sound of rain hitting the cars, tapping off the windows as the wind blew. I could hear the crackle of the thunder in the distance, see the flash of lightning even behind closed eyes and I let out a shuddered breath.  

Was this a sign, this rainstorm out of nowhere or had it been brewing in the hours before while we slept?  Was this the anger of a hybrid or the warning from the demon that possessed John Winchesters? These thoughts fought their way past the fog that filled my mind and I tried to push them aside.  Tried and failed once more.  Only holding Sam tighter blocked out the visions and the questions, only then did I realized just how screwed I really was.


	43. DH God Killers - Ch 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the hell did you get me into Cas? And can the boys really handle what happened on November 2, 1983?

**Chapter 10**

I reached up and wiped my hand across the mirror, sweeping the condensation aside so that I could see myself, and then wished to God I hadn’t.  I looked as dark as I felt, my blue eyes usually bright were more a navy color and the bags under my eyes, though not unusual, were just a bit deeper.  Sleep was less than helpful, but at least I had gotten some.

 After brushing my teeth, running a comb through my hair, which was quickly put up in a ponytail, I wrapped the towel around me and stepped out of the steamy room only to come face to face with Sam, who turned towards me as he stood by my things, his arms crossed, leaning on the dresser.  He himself was only in jeans, not bothering to replace the shirt that he had lost somewhere in the night, but I could see the faint scar from the first time we met, white against his sun-kissed skin and his eyes narrowed in frustration.

I glanced past him, to Danni who sat at the table, Dean who had taken his spot at the edge of our unmade bed, leaning forward on his elbows and Cas, who was by the divider that supplied some privacy to the room.  Shaking my head, I grabbed the clothing and started to get dressed right there in the middle of the room.

“Is it breakfast and did you bring me coffee, because if you’re going to invade a room, you should at least bring some sort of beverage?”  I questioned as I shimmied the skinny jeans up under the towel and then pulled the shirt over the top of it before I removed it slowly, watching Sam’s eyes as I did so.

Skillfully dressed without ever being naked in front of the four, he seemed even more impressed when I was able to get my bra on and snapped in the back without help.  I never got a verbal reply, but when I moved my eyes back to the others, Dean stood, moved towards the table and grabbed a coffee cup from behind Danni.

Stepping up to me, I noticed the way he scanned over my face and with a quick, sly half-smile, he glanced down at the rest of me.  Yep, looking for battle wounds, but seeming satisfied, he handed me the cup.

“French Vanilla, three and three,” he whispered and I felt his fingers purposely catch mine as I reached out and took the cup.  It was just a touch, a way to connect but as he stepped back, it felt strange to see him walk away.

“Thank you,” I teased and brought it to my lips. The hot liquid burned against me and I smiled. “I can’t believe you remembered.”

“You try forgetting someone’s coffee order when they’re barking things at you about a craft aisle, it all kind of gets stuck there.”  He stated rolling his eyes.  Yeah, and Sammy telling you it was “coffee dumbass” had nothing to do with it, but I didn’t say that out loud. I moved to over to Sam, snaked my way into those crossed arms, and rested my back against his stomach as he wrapped them around my waist, holding me protectively.  I felt his kiss against my head, but I could feel the rigidness of his muscles, like he was prepared to defend in an instant.  “So, what brings you all here today, besides, you know… some hybrid?”

“Cas, ah,” Dean started and looked up at the angel standing a bit closer than I thought was possible with the way they had tried to take each other out earlier, but Cas crossed his arms and looked down at Dean without malice, before Dean turned back to me, “Cas said he had something important to tell us and didn’t want repeat it so,” he opened his hands as if to say “ta-da”, “here we sit.”

Danni hadn’t said a word and it made me wonder if she knew just want was going on, but she only met my gaze for a moment before she fixed them on Dean and even then, it was fleeting before she found a spot on the floor that interested her.  Yeah, this wasn’t going to be good, because if she knew, that meant I knew something about what he was going to say.

It must have been a forgotten thought, something just lost in the mix of “Zane” releasing me from his hold and Sam’s need touch, but I could see the tri-fold of papers on the floor beside the bed and remembered that the hybrid had pressed them against me before sending me back.  I took a deep breath, knowing Sam could feel me shake because his hand came up from my waist to lock down on the opposite shoulder, holding me tighter.

Shaking away the memories, I looked up at Cas and exhaled.  “What are we talking about here?  Like “cosmic consequences” important or “my baby sister’s a vampire” important?”

“I don’t understand how either of those are remotely related to the issue at hand,” the angel’s gravelly voice filled the room and I smiled.  He was right, neither had anything to do with the other but it was great to get a reaction out of him. “I wanted to discuss John with you.”

This time it was Sam that shook and I pressed my weight back to steady him.  Knowing part of what Dean had gone through, most of what Sam had with their father, I knew it was a touchy subject, and I knew exactly what Castiel was about to lay down in front of them.  It could go off without a hitch if he explained it right, but if he didn’t, it could go very, very bad.

“Dad?” Dean questioned and I watched as he shook his head, “all this time, and finally, you’re going to spill the beans on where the hell he is and why you’ve been following him?”

“Actually, the topic has more to do with your mother than anything,” Cas replied and I heard Danni groan as Sam tensed up again behind me.  So, we’re going with the very, very bad possibility over the rest of it.  “You need to know about November 2nd, 1983.”

“We know about it, Cas, I don’t think we need to rehash it,” Dean stated and stood from the bed, walking past me and his brother, separating himself from the angel as he began to pace between the bathroom door and the edge of the dresser. “Mom died, Yellow-eyes did it, Sammy got hurt, end of story.”

“I’m afraid not,” Cas was trying to be patient, to wait until the right time but his blue eyes came to rest on mine and I just gave him a shrug, this was his game and the ball was in his court, not in mine.  “The demon wasn’t there for Sam.”

“What?”  Sam’s deep, angry tone vibrated through him but his hold never eased and at the same time, Dean stopped pacing and turned to Cas.

“Come again?” the older one snapped out.

“What happened the night that Mary died, it wasn’t the way that John told you,” Cas spoke up and I watched Dean’s eyes grow wide with disbelief.  He instantly crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance, a defensive move on his part, as if closing himself off would protect him from the words.  Sam shifted behind me and I wondered if I should step away, to let him go, but when the tips of his fingers kneaded against my hips, I knew that I was the one anchoring him down.  “John was a hunter long before you were born.”

“That’s not possible,” Sam growled, and I watched Cas look up in his direction.

“Your father was one of the legacies to the Men of Letters, no matter how much he denied it or didn’t mention it to you, he knew about the supernatural long before he met Mary. In fact, that was the reason that Samuel was so adamant that the two of them not date.  John was hunting at the same time as Mary was, they just never told each other.” 

“Dad, our Dad, who dragged us through hell and back, was a hunter?” Dean tried to wrap his head around it while Sam stayed quiet and took it all in.

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” Cas sighed. He almost sounded apologetic about it, but there was nothing he could have done, and no reason for him to be sorry, but he reacted like a human would do and that gave Dean some relief.

“Okay, so say Dad was hunting, what does that have to do with Sam and Azazel?”  Maybe this wouldn’t be very bad, maybe Dean will just accept and that will be the end of it, and yeah, maybe, just maybe I’d been sniffing brake cleaner, because Dean never stayed calm in these situations.

“Azazel wasn’t there for Sam that night,” Cas blurted out. Way to be subtle, angel!  That was the moment that I knew Sam’s restraint had broken as his hand slide down from my shoulder, but Cas continued, his eyes locked on the younger Winchester. “John told you that he had gone into the nursery, that Mary was on the ceiling, that the fire started around her but that wasn’t the case. It started in the nursery and Mary did die, but it began because John put a blade through Azazel’s heart, he was trying to stop him from going through with the deal they had made ten years before.”

“Wait, that’s not right, Mom made the deal… to save Dad’s life,” Dean whispered, confused.  “You’re telling us Dad went out and made a deal too?”

“Essentially, yes, but it wasn’t for what you think,” Cas moved away from the wall, his hands came down into the pockets of his dress pants and he watched the boys as he took over the act of Dean pacing.  “When Mary made the deal with Azazel to save John, the stipulations were that she stayed in bed, that she not investigate what was going on in the house, she just simply let him in, but somehow John found out about it and changed the deal.  Azazel was coming for Sam, to create the army of chosen ones that would open the devil’s gate, but he was also planning to use Sam for something else.”

“A vessel?”  I whispered and Sam’s hand gripped tighter, “John took Sam’s place as the vessel for the demon.”

“That, for the most part is correct,” Cas sighed, “but it was a little more complicated than that.  The demon that possesses your father is one of the only ones that needs permission to enter. It seems to be something in his making, or maybe just a preference.  When Azazel came for Sam, John changed the rules, he stabbed the demon, which essentially caught Mary’s attention. She wasn’t the one that heard Sam’s cries, your father was, and with the stab, some of the demon blood entered Sam’s bloodstream, creating the desired effect, but Azazel killed Mary when she entered the room.”

“So, no pressed to the ceiling, bleeding from the stomach?” Sam whispered, but I heard his breath hitch as he tried to swallow hard. “How does knowing any of this change the fact that I still have to deal with the power struggle inside me and that Mom is dead because of a demon that we laid to waste years ago?”

“Sam,” Cas turned to focus right on him, “when your father changed the deal, it started to break him. When Mary died, the darkness started to sink in, John’s body prepared him for the demon that was sooner or later bound to take him over.”

“So, Dad was basically getting marinated while we were growing up hunting the thing that killed Mom because Dad decided to renig on a contract?” Dean summarized and Cas took in a deep breath before giving him a nod.  “Why does any of this matter?”

“You need to know the truth about your father, the reason why he’s in his current condition.”

Dean stepped forward, closing the distance between him and Cas, but Sam slipped out from behind me in less than a second to put an arm out, blocking Dean from getting too close to the angel.  I could feel the tension growing in the air, the way that the thickness settled in. 

“Dad made that deal, I don’t need to know the hows and whys, Cas.” He growled. “He made his bed, he can rot in it.”  Dean pushed Sam’s arm away and moved past Cas, bumping him with his shoulder and I watched Sam’s chest puff up as he took in a deep breath, not sure how to respond to all of the new news, but then I realized something, he wasn’t acting like it was new.  Dean stopped at the door and looked back at us, “I’m going to get a drink.”

And with that, the door closed, leaving four of us in the room.  I turned and looked up at the half-naked Winchester before me and took his clenched fist in my hand.  Sam looked down, unsure of what to do and shook his head.

“Go after your brother,” I whispered and grabbed a shirt from the dresser with my free hand.  Sam took it gently, leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips before he stepped away, pulling on the shirt as he made his way out the door, calling out to Dean as the man walked across the parking lot.  I turned to Cas and Danni and sighed. “We need to talk about this hybrid character.”

“I think there is something else we need to talk about first, you and me,” Danni spoke up and right off I could feel her tension.

“If you’re planning on coming down on me, Dan, today is not the great time and now is so not the place.” I found myself snapping, not what I had intended to do at all but there was just something in the air.

I could feel the tension growing again and I looked over at Cas, who was staring at me just as strangely as I was looking at him. It was then that I noticed the difference in my face as my vision began to vibrate once more.  Cas was like the demons, but instead of the gray distortion, his was bright white, and getting brighter.

I could hear Danni talking to me, something about Dean, something about touching, something about… something, but all I could see was that brightness and suddenly there was a ringing in my ear.  It made me wince at first, trying to ignore it, but it became so strong that I pressed my palm against it.  Cas suddenly moved closer as I leaned back against the dresser but I flinched at the movement and suddenly Danni wasn’t talking about Dean, she was asking if I was okay, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

It hit like you would imagine a lightning bolt would, sharp and fast and very, very painful.  The surge of power ripped through my head, making my skull feel as if it were about to split in two and I remember pressing my hands against my temples, trying to block out the noise, trying to press in the pain, and the scream that filled my ears didn’t sound at all like me but I knew somewhere, deep down, that I was the one it had come from.

Hands were on me before I knew what was going on, and the floor was beneath me, but the pain didn’t reside, it grew until I couldn’t see, hear or feel anything but the thousands of little needles that broke through my skin. That was until one small hand touched me.  I knew it was small because it didn’t feel like the other four that held me, no this one was about the size of my own and it was cool to the touch.

I felt it against my forehead, in between my own, and the space behind my eyes grew bright once more, but this wasn’t the same light as Castiel, this one had just a hint of blue and it was warm, and comforting. It felt as if it spread over the top of my head, in and around my ears, and the pain died down, the ringing stopped, and slowly those needles were withdrawn.

Sobbing and clenching onto Sam’s arm and Dean’s hand, I let the warmth take over me, prayed that it didn’t come back but when I chanced to open my eyes, I saw Danni staring at me after pulling her hand away and the boys staring back at her. 

I leaned my head back, not taking my eyes off from the woman in front of me, and I was able to breath just a little easier but Sam wasn’t letting me go, pulling me onto his lap instead as he surrounded me with legs and arms, and Dean’s fingers remained gently wrapped around my hand, needing to feel the shaking stop.

“What did you do?” I whispered, still staring into her blue eyes. Danni looked just as confused as I did and turned her eyes up to Cas, who made his way over to get closer to the group.  He reached out a hand, something I drew back from, but there was only so far you could go when you had a moose trapping you to him. He touched my forehead with the tips of his fingers and his brow creased in confusion.

“It seems that Danni has found the light,” he answered for her and glanced at the woman next to him.  “You were able to block out the wave of darkness that was bombarding her, create a wall against something that would otherwise have been damaging.  You should be proud of the work that you did.”

“But, wait,” Dean spoke up and his eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, “that means that the roles have already been chosen, that Danni’s the light and Ali’s the darkness?”

“It seems that way,” Cas muttered but got up and moved towards the bed where he sat down, a pondering look on his face.  I heard Dean sigh, his fingers, tracing over my temple as Sam’s lips came down on my head.  Yeah, now we were all worried.  “I’m uncertain of the likelihood of this happening again and the consequences of Danni not being present should it arise could be catastrophic.”

“Great,” Sam growled, “so what? She’s a ticking time bomb?”

“Essentially,” Cas sighed.  “I believe I have a way to keep it away but it’s not something altogether pleasant.”

“What is it, Cas?” I questioned, but my voice sounded distant, and I wanted to close my eyes against the feeling of it vibrating against my still throbbing head. It seemed that even angel magic couldn’t get rid of all the after effects.

“It’s an old Enochian spell, to create a wall of sorts,” but I couldn’t stifle the laugh and his eyes narrowed. “I don’t see how this is amusing.”

“Cas, all Enochian spells are old,” I replied and watched as he shook his head before focusing on Sam, whose heart thumped against my ear, and I found myself playing with Dean’s hand, the one that still held mine out of sight. “Jones might now where to get supplies around here.”

Sam caressed the side of my neck with his fingers and I felt him nod.  “She’s right, the guy’s just like Bobby used to be, a man with many connections.”

“So, let’s give him a shout.”  The older brother spoke up and felt him release my hand, only to move and scoop me up so that his brother could get off the floor. It felt like I was floating and the sudden movement make me dizzy enough to wrap my arms tightly around his neck, my heart racing in my chest.  I felt the bed under me but I still didn’t release him as the room spun wildly.  “Okay, Kid, you can let go, I have to breath sometime.”

“No,” I snapped, holding my eyes tightly closed as the whirlwind slowed, “you really don’t.”

I heard him chuckle in my ear as he reached around and unhooked my arms, holding my wrists as he lowered me down to the pillow and once the world had come to a stop I looked up at him, his locked arms on either side of my head, smiling a half grin down at me.

“Are you trying to kill me?” He spoke softly and I watched his eyebrow raise, “cause you’re doing a crappy job.”

“Screw you, Winchester,” I whispered and watched him wink as he backed away. 

When I was able to focus on the rest of the room, when Dean had cleared a path so I could see Cas and Sam hovering over a book that Sam had retrieved from the trunk of the Impala, my eyes ventured to Danni, who was looking a little bit concerned but a lot of bit pissed off.  Not sure what was going on, I watched her eyes dart from me to Dean and I wanted to just roll my own but it hurt too much.  I sighed, raised my hand and beaconed her over to the bed.

“How’s your head?” She questioned, sitting next to me on the mattress, facing away from the boys so that they could hear her concern but not see the misunderstanding in her face.

“When you figure out that I’m not trying to take your boy, it will get a whole lot better,” I growled low so that it was almost a whisper and I watched her smile sarcastically before she sighed.

“It’s just a lot, Ali,” she admitted but the tone of her voice changed. Finally, some real conversation without being completely torn apart by allegations.  “You have to figure, I’ve been with him for the last month and a half, alone, just the two of us, so to watch him with you, it’s almost like watching him with another woman, not my sister.”

“There is only one Winchester I want,” I grinned and looked passed her at Sam, at the way his hair fell into his face, the way that he pushed it back as it became annoying, before I turned back to her.  “Dean… I need Dean, Danni, it’s just something strange, something I can’t explain, I really wish I could.”

“You say you need him like I’m supposed to be okay with that, when the word _need_ to me implies that you need him in more than just a touch here or there, what if it turns into something more between you?” Her fears were natural but unwarranted, I loved Dean but he didn’t have what I wanted, he didn’t have everything that Sam could give me, and I reached out to take her hand.

“There’s nothing there, Danni,” I whispered, no matter how deep my fantasies went lately, there was no way there would ever be anything between Dean and I, and they were buried pretty deep.  It had been a long, long month and a half when the one man you wanted and the one man that helped ground you were so far away. “Dean is all yours, trust me when I say this.”

“How can you know that?” She whispered and we both looked over at him as he came into the room, two cold beers in hand and watched as he offered one to Sam, who just gave a little shake. Dean sat down at the table, tucking himself in the corner so that he could watch the two of us. I smiled at the way his eye ran down the backside of Danni and turned my eyes to her.

“Until he opens his big mouth, you’re just going to have to trust me,” I whispered and felt a sudden wave of dizziness hit as the light started to glow brighter in the lamp beside me.  I closed my eyes tightly and moaned, as the throb became stronger.  The voices changed from crisp to muffled and I heard Danni speaking again, this time in a panicked voice before I felt hands on my arms, Sam hands, I would know them anyway.

“Ali, open your eyes,” he whispered, knowing that the noise would be too much. 

I raised my hands and brought them crashing down on his, gripping him tightly as the pain that had been in my head before ripped down my neck and into my chest.  Arching off the bed, it was as if every muscle in my body had cramped up, a giant Charlie-horse that I couldn’t walk off.  I knew everything that was going on around me, heard everything, sensed everything, I could even smell each of them, like they had their own presence in my head and through closed eyes, I could tell where each one sat or stood in the room.

There was no light this time, no cool hand to bring me out of it, there was just the ache of the cramp, the burning of every muscle and then, there was nothing. My body relaxed, my head stopped hurting, the room came to a standstill and slowly I opened my eyes.

The only one I focused on was Sam, his blue-green eyes full of worry and pain. I opened my mouth to speak, to plead with him but only one word came out, one Latin words. “Auxilium.”

“I’m not sure I know how to help,” Sam whispered and kissed my head.

“Jones,” I sighed, and let the words come out in English, “call him, Sam.”

“I will,” he whispered, trying to find something to encourage me, as I closed my eyes again. “Cas and I are going to get some of the stuff we can find around here, Dean is going to stay with you.  Dean and Danni.” He brushed back my hair from my head and let his lips linger there longer.  “I’ll be back as soon as I can, Al, I promise.”

“Don’t promise,” I smiled, but never bothered to open them again, “just come back.”

“I love you,” he sighed, kissed me softly on the lips and I felt him move from the bed.  

I know I mumbled something back but the lethargy was taking over my body, my muscles were worn from the fight and I had little left in the way of strength to keep the darkness at bay.  Before I knew it, I couldn’t remember anything but blackness and a strange little laugh that invaded my head.

I ground my teeth against it, as it became a relentless sound, invading my deepest thoughts.  I wasn’t going to survive this, I knew that now, for the first time in my life, I was truly afraid.


	44. DH God Killers -11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean fesses up to some interesting parts of his past. And what exactly are they doing with that stuff in the jar?

**Chapter 11**

That annoying noise seemed to go on for hours, keeping me on just this side of consciousness and I know I said things, most of it was probably nonsense or didn’t even come out as words and there were times when I could feel the cool wetness of a cloth come down over my forehead.  Sometimes it soothed the ache and quieted the noise, but other times I jumped from it, as if the laughter had made some sudden move in my mind.

When I became tired of being tired and restless, when I had enough of the constant rattle in my head, I forced my eyes open just as Danni leaned over and touched my forehead again with the cloth.  I licked my lips, noticing the dryness but watched the shock on her face as she stared at me, and then in a blink it was gone.

“What?” I groaned and moved my hand to run it down my face. “What did you see?”

“Your eyes,” she whispered, taking a deep breath, “they were black.”  

I gave her a smile, one that said “yep, I know I’m screwed now,” and rolled over on the bed, flattening myself out as much as possible. Noticing that they had only the bathroom light on in the room, I glanced over at Dean, who sat where I had last pegged him, in the chair in the corner by the window, his hands folded together over his stomach as he leaned back just watching me.

“Where’s Sam?” I questioned, but it came out as little more than a whisper, and my eyes locked on his. Dean glanced at the door and then sat the chair down on all four legs before he leaned forward. “How long was I out?”

“Didn’t sound like you actually were,” he spoke up and his voice was distant, like he was in some other room, or on a bad cell call.  “You were saying some weird crap, Ali.”

“The laughing,” I sighed and closed my eyes again, “it won’t stop laughing.”

I felt the weight that was on the bed, Danni’s weight, shift and I suddenly felt very much alone, but there was nothing I could do for that, she moved of her own free will, I was just stuck there.  I reached my hand up, ran it down my face, which was still wet from the cloth she had just been dabbing it with, but the wetness felt funny and I opened my eyes to get a better look. 

As I focused in the dim light, I noticed the palm of my hand was dark, and when I curled my fingers there was a familiar stickiness to them.  I shot up, something that made my head spin but I didn’t care, my focus was on the amount of blood that coated my skin.  As my heart raced, and my breathing became just as shallow, I turned to look at the ice bucket that Danni was using as a bowl and watched the blood drip from the side, the rough hotel cloth that should have been white was a dark crimson red.

“Jesus!” I cried and backed away from it, almost falling off the bed.  I didn’t hear Dean and Danni move, but when I looked up to search them out, to find where they had disappeared to in the room, I saw John standing where Dean had been sitting, leaning casually against the wall, arms and legs crossed and a knowing smile on his face. “Go away!”

“Ali?”  Danni’s voice fought through the fog as I tried to take my focus away from the man in the room, but I was locked in a stare with the man with the yellow eyes, and I backed up once again, this time my hand hitting air instead of mattress and I thought I was going over until two arms wrapped solidly around me.

“Easy there, Kid,” Dean’s voice cooed, and I felt a solid chest behind me.  “Take it easy.”

I groaned as I closed my eye and let him take on the brunt of my weight, “someone just shoot me now.”

“Ain’t gonna happen, brat.” Dean chuckled and moved his arms around to pick me up just a bit and set me down in the middle of the bed again.  Danni reached for my hand and I felt mine wrap around hers as Dean sat beside me, as if he were about to stretch out but he just settled for sitting next to me, his hand gliding up my arm.  “What do you see?”

“Blood,” I answered but as I opened my eyes one more, I locked on that man still standing in the corner. 

How was I supposed to tell him that his father was standing there watching me with interest?  I turned my head away from the man in the room, and blinked up at Dean as he stared down at me with worry in his eyes. there was a darkness there that I could almost reach out and grab and I remembered what Sam said, that when Dean came to get him, he wasn’t the brother he had left, Dean was darker and more dangerous.

“Tell me a story,” I whispered and watched as Dean’s lips parted and he rolled his eyes.  “Tell me a story of a little green-eyed boy.”

“Sammy already told you this story, Ali,” Dean whispered and I reached over, putting my hand on his leg.  He closed his eyes, opened them just enough to look down at it, and took a deep breath.  “You don’t need to know it.”

“I do, Dean, I need to understand this,” and my fingers curled against the fabric of his jeans, creating a scratching sound and getting a quick breath from him, “there has to be a reason for it, and it’s not just to keep me protected from your brother.”

“I don’t get why it’s so important,” his hand left my arm, grasping the one on his leg instead and he placed both of them down on the bed.  “It’s not a bedtime story, Al, it’s my life.”

“I know,” I sighed and glanced over at the man in the corner.  I could feel Dean’s eyes follow mine, and the worry spread across his face.

“Who’s standing there?”  Dean questioned, his voice stern and demanding, which had my sights locked back on his in an instant.  

“John,” I whispered, almost afraid as he looked again, not seeing anyone.

“What’s he saying to you?”  I chanced a quick peek but he still stood just the way he had and I shook my head. 

“He’s not saying anything, he’s waiting,” was what I whispered, my eyes not leaving the man in the corner, but I jumped when he moved, stood straight, uncrossed his arms and legs and I pushed up against Dean, my back to his waist.  The older Winchester folded over me, one hand on either side, leaning down, his breath just a brush away from my ear.

“Ali, listen to me, he’s not real, you tell him to leave,” Dean encouraged, and my gaze flickered to Danni, who was now looking in the corner with curiosity and I wondered if she could see him, but that look came back at me filled with concern and I shivered against Dean.  “You tell him that if he doesn’t leave you alone, I’m going to kill him myself.”

“He wants the truth, Dean,” I answered and shook my head, knowing he wouldn’t leave unless I could get Dean to talk.  “Why did you and Sam argue?”

Dean let out a frustrated breath and he leaned his forehead down on my temple before backing away, his hand resting on my stomach as he straightened and looked up at nothing. Watched him run a hand down his face, rub at the scruff on his cheek and look down at his feet for a moment before he cleared his throat.

“I’m the reason Sam left, I mean the argument that we had was the reason he went to hunt on his own.” He glanced at me, probably to see if I was casting any judgement but my fingers fluttered against the hand on my stomach and I let my eyes close again as he continued.  “He, ah, wanted me to go to college,” Dean laughed, “like to actual college.  I had been doing online courses for months under Dad’s radar but nothing major, just pre-rec stuff.”

“College?” Danni whispered, which got Dean to give us a half smile.  “Stanford?”

“Yale,” Dean said with a shrug, as if it were no big deal.  “I was majoring in demonology and history, figured why not go with what I know best, right? But I wouldn’t leave Sammy and that pissed him off, I mean sent him skyrocketing.  I wouldn’t leave him to deal with Dad and his own issues, there was no way, that was my baby brother and I always had to protect him.”

“College boy, hmm, sexy,” I grinned but never bothered to open my eyes as he gave out a small huff, one that was supposed to be a laugh.  

“Nah, not me, should have been Sammy,” he said softly, “the kid’s a freaking genius, could crack a code in less than ten seconds, came up with some wild stuff, but he was afraid of his ability to control anything.”

“Dean Henry Winchester,” I scolded and felt his fingers flatten against me, “don’t ever sell yourself short, you’re just as much of a closet geek as the other one is.”

I felt his breath again, so close to my face.  “How did you know my middle name?  No one knows it, Bobby wiped it from the data banks long ago, mine and Sam’s.”

My eyes opened, just enough to see the man in the corner, just enough to watch him smile.  “John told me.  Named after your grandmother and grandfather. I like it, it suits you.”

“Not the point, Porter,” he smiled and back away again, but watched as his head turned in the direction that I was looking, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever was hiding in the corner before setting his sights on Danni.  I watched him give her a full smile, one that seemed to brighten the sad look in her eyes and then he winked at her before he looked down at me.  “You gonna let me tell this, or are you going to lecture me?”

“Um,” I hummed out and then let my eyes close again.

“Yeah, so, the argument was that I should have gone, I mean I was riding on a full scholarship, nothing out of Dad’s pocket, but Sam couldn’t see that I needed to be there for him, I needed to be by his side, but I guess he couldn’t be near people, so coming with me wasn’t an option for him,” Dean’s voice had just a touch of nervous energy as if telling this secret was going to get him in trouble somehow.  “So, Sam’s decision on the matter was that if he left, I would be free to go, but that’s not how it worked out.”

His hand moved from my stomach, rested on my side and I felt him play with the hem on my shirt, as if it were a nervous twitch and he couldn’t really figure out what to do with himself, but the need to be close hadn’t gone away.

“I didn’t understand why Dad was so upset, why he was the way he tended to be?  Sam leaving sent him over the edge and he blamed me, I was supposed to watch over Sammy, I was supposed to protect him,” I could feel the emotions running through him, like a new sense of everything his was flowed into me and I shivered against it.  “He started to hit the bottle hard at that point, I mean he wasn’t a saint before but he always seemed to keep his head on straight, especially when it came to Sam, but when Sam disappeared, Dad lost it.  He was drunk most times, and when we came back from a hunt, his first thing would be to swing, and he swung at me.”

“Jesus, Dean,” Danni whispered.

“He only got past me once, and then never again,” Dean growled, his fear turning to anger, “if Dad swung, I swung back, harder, faster, until he wasn’t a match for me anymore.”  His fingers stopped and I felt him sit up straight. “I couldn’t let go after that. I mean, I really had to keep it reigned in, you know.  Every time I went out, I thought that I was going to get it when I came back, so I stopped coming back.  I would find the first bar I could and find a girl, or two.  The problem was, I was so angry.  I didn’t have Sam to bounce it off of, I didn’t have Dad to listen, and Bobby, well Bobby was a saint and I love him but there was nothing he could do for me except find me an out.”

“Did he?” Danni joined in, which was great because there was no way I was getting anything out of my groggy mouth as I just lay there and listened.  

“Yeah, he got me cases, ones away from Dad, ones that seemed to track Sam and that’s how I watched over my little brother.” Dean took his hands from me completely and I felt the bed move.  The lack of contact made me feel empty but I knew he must have felt the need to disconnect. I heard the mini-fridge open, heard the twist of the bottle top and the hiss of the release of air from the beer bottle.  “Bobby sent me to Wickenburg, some little hick town with a ghost problem, and that’s where I found Sammy, nearly dead on his feet from the necromancer we were facing. That was about the same time that I found out that Dad had been missing and off the radar for about a week. I thought it would be great to have Sam back, but he was more damaged than before.”

“Why?”  This again from Danni who switched to sitting on the bed with me. I hadn’t moved, I assume they had thought I was asleep but soon those callous fingers were running over my temple and I sighed, letting him know the only way I had energy to that I was still with them.

“Jessica died,” Dean whispered as he sat back down on the bed beside me.  “He had been in the area a while from what I gathered when he was strong enough to even tell me.  She was a student at a nearby college and one night was almost attacked a were that he was hunting, but he got to it just before it was able to bite her.  She was pre-med, helped him get his crap together, stitched him up a few times and Sammy fell in love.”

“How long were you apart?”

“Three years,” Dean answered, clearing his throat, and I heard the bottle clank down on the table beside my head. “Three years of tracking him, keeping tabs on him and the son of a bitch was shacking up with some beautiful blonde co-ed,” he stopped for a second and snickered, “way to go Sammy.” I smiled at this because you could just hear the pride in his voice and with the acknowledgement that I was awake, Dean leaned down and kissed my cheek.  “I think that’s the reason for this, whatever  _ this _ is with Ali. Sam lost a lover once, I can’t let that happen again, and the closer I keep her, the better she might be.  I’m sorry, Danni, it’s just what I feel inside.”

“I get it,” she sighed but I knew deep down that she really didn’t because I didn’t.  It was so much more than just keeping me safe for Sam’s sake.  And even Sam’s explanation about Dean touching to make sure that Sam didn’t do damage just went flying out the window. There was something deeper here, something that neither of us understood quite yet, but I knew that it was bothering Danni, it bothered her a lot.  “So, Jess… what happened?”

“I thought it was the same thing that happened to our mom, but really now that I know the truth, I don’t know.  She was really on the ceiling, fire erupted around her and Sam barely made it out of the house alive.” His fingers found a fidget, twirling the beer bottle, and I listened to the swish of the liquid for a moment, before he continued. “Sam hadn’t been the same since.  He’s always been a little more reckless than most kids but Jess’ death sent him over the edge, he’s been harder and so much more dangerous,” I felt the back of his hand caressed my cheek, “until you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” I mumbled and listened to him laugh before feeling his lips on my temple again.

“You love him, for his darkness and for everything else about him, and he needs that.”  Dean whispered softly, as if saying it loud enough for Danni to hear would make some big difference.  “Sometimes we all need that.”

I was about to reply, to give him some smart ass remark that was brewing in my head, but the door opened and I heard Sam walk in and felt Cas enter the room.

“Hey,” Sam’s slightly higher voice sent waves of lust through me with one words and I found myself being pulled out of the lethargy, enough to open my eyes and see that John was no longer in the room, but Cas was standing there, looking in the same spot with a curious tilt of his head before the angel looked back at me. “Everything okay here?”

“Yeah, I was just telling Peaches, here, a bedtime story.” Dean answered and I rolled over on the bed to look up at him before he pushed the hair from my face. “Crap, didn’t work, all I see is beautiful blue eyes.” I wanted to reach out and smack him but all I could do is shake my head and even that caused a wave of dizziness.  “I, for one, am glad to see them.”

He grasped me under the arms, as if I were some sort of life-sized ragdoll and pulled me up to a more seated position on the bed so that I could really see what was going on.  Sam smiled at me as he unpacked the ingredients that filled the brown paper bag and I caught of a whiff of something potent and potentially vomit inducing.

“Tell me I don’t have to drink whatever the hell smells that bad?”  I growled and Sam pulled the mason jar from the counter.

“No, no drinking of any sort,” he answered, and walked over to sit on the bed with the jar in hand.  He held it up, and damn if I couldn’t smell it through the unbroken seal.

“I think they did their canning process wrong,” I whined and placed my hand over my nose, but happened a chance at the corner of the room, happy to see that John had finally disappeared.  

“No, it’s actually on there perfectly.” He laughed and I looked at him as if to tell him he might be a little insane before I reached out and took the jar from his hand.  Looking at the contents, some strange looking gland that floated in a mix of what I assumed was blood and formaldehyde, I swallowed down what little contents I still had in my stomach. Raising an eyebrow, I gave Sam back the jar and he gave me the once over before leaning in and kissing me softly on the lips. “You look so much better.”

“I feel like the world is hanging on by a thread and that the pain could start any minute, so whatever you got, I think we need to do it fast.”  His lips turned down in a frown as he took the bottle, kissed me again and walked away. “And, don’t open that crap in our room, Sam, ugh it smells so bad.”

He grinned sheepishly as he glanced over his shoulder at me, placed the jar down in the wooden bowl that he had collected from the trunk of the Impala and winked.  “Don’t worry, this part we’re going to do out back.”

“Good, I didn’t want to have to get up and kick your ass!” I mumbled, but apparently it was loud enough for Dean to make out and he laughed with his back turned to me. I watched his shoulders move with it and glanced over at Danni.  “You okay?”

“As fine as I can be, I guess.” She replied and I sighed.  That story had been just as hard on her as it had been on me, but we know where our boys were coming from now, not that it explains everything but it was a part of history we could get past, and not have to revisit again, or at least I hoped.  Danni scooted closer to me and stared deep into my eyes. “You had black eyes when you opened them earlier, demon eyes.  What the hell did you do, Ali?”

“I guess I accepted my role,” I answered blankly and inhaled deeply, before a smile formed on my lips, “just like you and your little “white lighter” role.  This isn’t “Charmed”, this could all end badly.”

“Yeah, for the both of us but here you are letting John into your head,” her tone was more of a question, but all I could do was shrug, “I thought you said that Jones warded you up, how is he getting it?”

“It’s not just John and he wasn’t  _ in _ anywhere, he was here.”  I snapped and watched as she looked around the room.

“I didn’t see anyone.” The look in her eyes when she told me that made me feel like I was going insane but at the same time, I knew.  I knew that if she were meant to see John, he would have been open about it, as it was Cas had sensed him as soon as the angel walked into the room.  I watched as the boys left the room from the corner of my eye before turning my full attention back on her.  

“Despite what you might think, Sis, I am not coocoo for Cocoa Puffs,” I hissed and her lips drew taunt.  “You can think what you want, but for just one second I wish you knew what it was like to be inside my head.  It’s not all sunshine and rainbows in here, it’s pretty dark and screwed up, and I’m doing the best I can to keep it that way.”

“By using Dean?”

“Oh, Jesus!”  I snapped and turned away from her, swinging my legs off the bed, I felt them land firmly on the floor before I pushed myself up, I could sense the air in the room getting thicker and suddenly, as if it were a tingle on my skin, I could feel a new power close by.  Slipping on my shoes, I grabbed Sam’s red flannel and slipped it on.  On surprisingly steady feet, I made my way to the door, following that pull, but I stopped at the end of the bed and stared her down.  “You need to get over it, seriously, if you don’t understand it by now… it doesn’t matter, I’m done trying to explain.”

My feet had me moving, following the power around the backside of the building. I knew that despite the argument that we had, Danni was right behind me but as we turned the corner, seeing the three boys standing around the fire that burned in the small wooden bowl, I froze.  Sam looked over, as if he had heard the suddenly release of my breath, Dean followed suit, but it was the man in the black designer outfit that had me shiver.

He was just like I had seen him in the show, this was his true form, resembling Mark Sheppard in every way, except there was true evil in the smile that crossed this one’s lips.  He was wearing black right now to the clip that held his tie and his hands were stuffed into the heavy wool overcoat, something not at all fitting for the time of year.

“Hello, Pets.” He winked and the feeling in the pit of my stomach churned.

“Crowley,” was all I could manage to get out in a whisper that took my breath away.


	45. DH God Killers - Ch 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the hell is in that Jar?

Chapter 12

“What the hell’s going on here?”  I snapped and looked at the boys, moving closer to them.  “This is your plan, bring in another demon to get rid of the one parading around in my head?”  I looked up at Sam as I stood by him, saw his jaw clench and narrowed my eyes at him.  “Good plan, I mean, why not throw one more in the mix.”

“He’s not in your head, love,” Crowley grinned and my stare focused on him as he raised his brow, giving him a scruffy, teddy bear kind of look, albeit a teddy bear that could rip you to threads and eat you all while torturing you on the rack.  “You’re in his!”

I slipped the demon blade from Sam’s belt, grasped it tightly in my hand and walked right up to the man inside the devil’s trap. I could see his eyes begin to glow as he stood there, apparently very unafraid of me at the moment even as the tip of the blade pressed against the soft underside of his jaw.

“I could run you through,” I growled.

“And then you would never be let out of this,” he answered, tilting his head down so that he could lean against the knife. His eyes moved towards the ground, a gesture I followed and looked at the ornately drawn devil’s trap, really seeing it for the first time and I realized, it was different.  I turned to Sam, whose expression told me that he was apologetic, then at Dean who was clenching his jaw while staring down Crowley, but it was Cas that made me question just what was going on.  “You see this one isn’t made for me,” Crowley whispered while my head was turned and suddenly the resistance against the blade was gone and he was standing alongside Castiel. “It was made for you, love.”

“Son of a bitch!” I snapped and moved towards the edge of the circle, finding myself trapped within the confines of just the symbolic outline by an invisible wall. Kicking at it with the toe of my shoe, I brought my eyes up to stare at Sam.  “Come on, let me out, Sam.”

“This is how we were told to do it,” he sighed, and grabbed the book from the ground, “I’m sorry, Al, but we need to put this wall up, you need to be able to control it.”

“I’m controlling it just fine,” I stressed and suddenly heard the laughter in my head, which made me spin around and look out in the darkness.

“If this is fine, I would hate to see you on a good day,” Crowley added, getting a dirty look from not only me but Dean as well. “Well, if that was all you boys needed me for…”

“I have questions, Crowley, lots of questions,” I answered and watched as he gave me a smile.  

“No, I think your little demon boy toy has questions, Kitten,” Crowley replied, walking up to the line and we both looked down as his toes barely touched the spray paint that separated us.  “I think he’s listening right now, and if he is, please let him know, when this is over, his ass is mine for hurting my girl.”

“I’m not your girl!”  I growled and a knowing smile played on his lips.

“Oh, but you are,” he sighed, “more than you know.”

And with that… he was gone.

Great, one more thing to add to the growing lists of “what the hell was that!” I tossed the knife outside the circle at Sam’s feet and watched as he squatted down, picked it up, and held it for a moment before standing to face me.

“What did Jones tell you to do?”  

“Nothing bad,” he answered but moved closer, and I stepped back as I watched him hold that blade in his hand, but I wasn’t quick enough, he was able to reach over the barrier and snatch my wrist.  Holding the blade against the soft inside of my arm, I stared at him, ground my teeth together as he slid it across my skin.

Blood weld up and a line of it flowed from me, some coated the blade, most dripped on the ground below me and with a gentle touch, his fingers rubbed over my arm as he let me go, but I hissed at him as I back further away. The demon blade made the wound unable to heal and I watched as the blood continued to drip from the tips of my fingers as I let it hang by my side.

“Blood of the infected,” Cas whispered, taking the blade from Sam, who had cast his eyes down from mine, but I watched as Cas used his fingers to smear the blood down the blade and wipe every drop into the bowl before cracked open the mason jar.  The smell hit me like a bad egg and instantly my eyes watered as my hand rose to block my nose.

“What the hell is that?” I gagged.

“Troll,” Cas replied and I looked at him as if to say he was insane.

“Troll? Like the Billy Goats Gruff kind of troll?”

Cas looked at me confused and continued what he was doing, which was stabbing at the object in the mason jar before he put it into the bowl with my blood. “Norse mythology has the background of trolls all wrong.”

“Dude,” I whispered and shook my head, “you just insulted a whole lot of people with that one statement.”

“I’ll apologize to them when they come forward,” Cas answered as he went back to doing whatever it was that he needed to, which looked like he was mashing it up. “The pituitary gland of a male troll has multiple healing properties, including the banishment of unwanted spirits.”

“Sam swore I didn’t have to drink that!” I snapped and looked up at the man with the blue-green eyes, “you promised, Sam!”

“You’re not going to drink it, Ali, it’s for something else.”  Sam replied, and he winked as he went back to looking at the book in his hand, before crouching down to draw some herbs from the small bags that lay beside the bowl, adding them into the mixture.

“I’m not bathing in the blood of virgins either!” I snapped and moved along the length of the circle that surrounded me.

“Hey,” Dean snapped and I looked at the seriousness on his face, “no one is killing any virgins.” I rolled my eyes at him as he stepped closer to the line. “This is going to help, I swear, Kid.”

“So says you, you’re on the other side of the line, Dean!” I moped and watched the smile cross his face. “Why did you call Crowley of all people?”

“Ah, cause he’s a demon, and you seem to be in tune with them,” he bantered back, “besides, we couldn’t call Dad, which was Cas’ idea.”

“No, you did the right thing, I prefer Crowley over John right now.” I crossed my arms wanting anything to reach out and touch him but I knew if I even touched the barrier. I looked around at the way it shimmered form inside the circle and watched as Sam walked up.  “Are we almost done?”

“We’re ready, but Ali, it means I’m coming in,” Sam stated and this had me take a step back, shaking my head. 

“You can’t come in here, are you insane?”  I snapped and moved back again. “You can’t come in  _ here _ , it’s too dangerous,  _ I’m _ too dangerous.”

“You’re not going to hurt me, Ali, that’s why we set up the trap to begin with,” Sam whispered as he stepped over the line, a movement that had me stumbling back as far as I could go before being pressed against the other side of the wall.  

Cas handed him the bowl and then the book, both of which he set down on the ground by his feet, never taking his eyes off me.  Once they were placed solidly in a spot he rose, both hands before him and he took a step closer.  I had nowhere to go, the wall behind me shook, keeping me locked in as Sam closed the distance. He stopped, not more than a foot from me, the toe of his overgrown boot tapping against mine and he slowly brought his hands down to cup my face.

I shook at the feeling of his skin, warm, inviting skin, against mine and a moan escaped my lips.  Why was it that he could set me on fire with just a touch, but no matter how much I fought the feeling of evil, pushed it down to take in everything that Sam was giving me, I couldn’t shake the dread that was creeping up.

“You should run,” I whispered as he used his thumbs to tilt my head up and my hands went right to his wrists, trying to get him to understand.  “You should take your brother and go far, far away from me, Sam.  I’ll only bring out the darkness in you.”

“I can’t do that,” he sighed, lowering his lips towards mine as he tipped just a bit so that when we connected it would be like piecing a puzzle together, “I can’t leave you again, do you understand that, not ever again. You could never bring out the darkness, you push it back, you keep it at bay.”

“I’m so full of hate right now, evil… I just want to destroy everything,” I felt the heat rise in my chest, but the devil’s trap seemed to keep that part, that harmful thing that Zane was trying to do, it kept it down so that I stood a fighting chance.  “Sam, you don’t understand the damage I could do.”

“You’re talking to the one person who probably knows exactly what you’re capable of,” his breath rushed over my lips, warm against the wetness that lingered here, and I ached for him to close the distance, to press against me.  I needed it. “That’s how I know you won’t hurt me, you’re part of me, and I’m not letting go.”

“Then you better kiss me because I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on before this barrier breaks and I can’t promise the outcome.”  I sighed as one hand moved from my neck to the small of my back and he pulled might tightly to his body.

“With pleasure,” he teased and his lips crashed down on mine. It was a kiss full of love, full of passion and the instant he touched me, the fire roared and the dragon inside screamed loudly. 

The demon was not all that happy of the connection as the darkness flared.  I held onto Sam as long as I could, moving my own fingers up to tangle in his hair, pulling him closer before I licked my tongue against his lips, and suddenly he was open for me, bringing me in deep, letting me taste everything about him.  The darkness ascended and I felt my eyes grow black as spades, released him and pushed Sam away.

“GO!” I growled and watched as he looked down at me.  I tried to breath, feeling nothing but the fire in my chest, as I placed one hand on my thigh, the other stretched out toward him, not touching but almost holding him at bay.  “Please, for the love of all that is holy, just let me go!”

“Can’t do that, Ali,” Sam whispered and suddenly I was splashed with something rancid smelling. I looked up at him as he held the bowl in his hand, the mixture of herbs, blood and troll coating his fingers. I didn’t think anything of it at first, until it started to burn, and that burn brought me to my knees. The smell alone could have made me sick, but it was the nausea as he anointed me once again that had me retching up what looked like black goo. Sam stepped closer, this time he knelt in front of me, the bowl by his side, the book in his hand. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“You’ll be even more sorry when I rip your heart out!”  I growled and went to jump at him but I couldn’t move, the liquid he had covered me in tied me to that spot and I howled in anger. “You know what I could do to you right now?”

I watched as Sam looked me over, but all I could see was his face, the way the veins beat beneath his skin and the darkness that flowed through him.  He still had the demon blood in him, I could see it, because when I looked up at the other, there wasn’t anything remotely close to what I witnessed in Sam. I licked my lips, wiped the black tar from my chin and smiled.

“The things I could do to your body right here,” I whispered and watched as he put his fingers into the blood-filled bowl, flicking it at me as he stared me in the eyes, but I hissed at the pain that the concoction inflicted before leaning toward him again. “I could make you come so hard you would think your heart was going to stop. Think about it, Sam, think about what you could do to me, how much you could make me bleed with just one forceful thrust.”

I watched his chest puff up as he took a breath, his jaw clenched as he stifled a snarl and he looked down at the book quickly before his eyes locked on mine from under the wisps of his hair. His lips parted and I smiled. I knew what was coming next.

“PATER noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum.” Sam started and suddenly I found it hard to breath, in fact, it was hard to do anything as the pain rose in my chest, “Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.” He looked at me as I stared at him in pain, but the smile rose on my face as he continued his reciting. “Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.”  

“Come on, Sammy,” I teased, “you’re going to have to do better than that. The Our Father, really?”

“Well, let’s just try it again, you didn’t really seem to like it the first time,” he quipped back and again anointed me with the liquid, this time it hurt though, like needles against my skin. “PATER noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.” I could feel something pulling at me, something in my head yanking at all of the nerve ending in my brain and I cried out, closing my eyes tightly. “Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.”

“Again!” I pleaded, feeling the darkness flowing out of me, retreating.

“Ali,” he whispered, unsure and I looked up at him, my eyes not seeing the way that his blood flowed.

“Again, Sam.” I nodded and watched him swallow, this time he raised a finger up and pressed it against my forehead, the ritual potion dripping down my skin.

“PATER noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.” His voice was a little shaky as he pulled his finger down to between my eyes, and I locked my jaw, grinding my teeth together as I held back the cry of pain. “Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.”

I could almost feel the demon coming forward, the way my mind was pushing him out, but I saw the colors flicker back in my eyes and grabbed Sam’s hand, the one against my forehead.

“Again.” I whispered, but my voice wasn’t as strong as I hoped. He glanced back as Dean, Danni and Cas but I pressed against the finger on my forehead. “Sam! Again!”

Just as he started to speak, I let the words that I knew by heart flow from my own mouth, the exorcism, the one he always picked on me for needing to brush up on my Latin, spilled out as fast as I could remember it. “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion, infernalis adversarii, omnis legio,” I felt the pain as he crossed the vertical line on my head with a horizontal one, completely the cross, and I used the last of my breath, as exhaustion tried to overtake me to get out some of the last lines that I could, my own exorcism, my own battle still needed to be fought as he came to the end of the Our Father, “omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.”

With those last words, Sam took his hand away, the pain inside me died, left me breathing heavy but on my own without the voice in my head, without the laughter that had been ringing through, and I leaned forward on my hands, resting the top of my head on Sam’s stomach as his clean hand came down on my back.  I didn’t feel the evil, though some of the darkness remained, and I was suddenly alone in my head.

“Ali,” he whispered as I closed my eyes. After a minute of catching everything that was me, like my heart and my lungs, I sat back on my heels and gave him a little bit of a grin, just a little before I turned and reached behind me. Hesitantly, I reached out towards the edge of the trap, licked my lips and pushed my hand at what I thought would be a barrier, but there was nothing but empty space.  Sam’s hands were on me before I could fully turn around and he kissed me solidly on the lips, a gesture I backed away from and smiled.

“Don’t kiss me when I have troll all over me!” I snapped playfully and watched him grin. 

“Well, maybe we should get you out of here so you can shower.” He said softly as he pushed my hair back from my eyes.

“Yeah, because… eww!” I smiled and watched as Cas came forward to grab the book and bowl.

“I’ll dispose of this,” the angel stated and looked down at the two of us.  “I agree, a shower might be beneficial.”

I laughed at him as Sam nodded and removed his over shirt, using it as a towel so that he could not only wipe his hands but also try to smudge off the mark on my forehead. I stopped him for a second and bit my lip.

“What I said, about you hurting me,” I stared but his lips silenced any protests, just a small brush of them had my heart racing.

“I know, Ali,” he winked and took my hand, “I know.”

~~~~~

The water was hot, almost to the point where you would think it could boil off your skin but I was barely feeling it as I stood underneath the shower stream. I closed my eyes, my back to the shower, and tilted my hair back into the flow. It was erasing everything from the day and now all I wanted was a cheeseburger, maybe a wine cooler and Sam.

Okay so the burger and cooler didn’t show up as requested, at least not in the shower, but I heard the door squeak open and a cold chill ran over me as the steam quickly disappeared.  I opened my eyes, straightened my head and looked at the man that peaked around the corner of the curtain, his eyes going up and down my naked frame before he looked at me with a cool smile.

“There’s two things that could happen here, Winchester,” I whispered and stepped forward towards him as Sam opened the curtain more so that he could lean against the wall, “you could a: go away and leave me all alone in here, naked and needing, or you could strip and join me.”

“Wow, naked and needing?”  He teased, “is that supposed to make me want to jump you?”

“No, but it should give you some awfully naughty thoughts,” I smiled and pressed up against him, the water from my skin wetting his shirt. “Oops, look at that, why not just take it off.”

“You did that on purpose,” he whined, which made me smile and I grabbed the bottom of his tee-shirt.

“No, I did this on purpose,” I pulled it up and over his stomach, just enough to make him raise his arms but instead of helping him take it off the rest of the way, I brought my lips down on the bare skin around his nipples. Sam moaned as he quickly removed the shirt the rest of the way and made quick work of the belt, buttons and zipper to his jeans before his hands were in my hair, bringing me to his lips. “Don’t come dressed.”

“There’s only one way I want to come,” he growled against my mouth and brought me to him again, toeing off his shoes as I tried my best to get the jeans and constricting material of his boxer briefs away from his body.

Once completely naked, he moved me back into the shower, and hissed at the feeling of the heat against his skin. Reaching back I turned it down, giving it more of a warm temperature, than the scolding one I was used to, but the difference in heat was quickly made up for as Sam pressed me against the wall, his kisses becoming demanding.

I couldn’t help the noises that escaped me, didn’t want to be quiet about them, no matter who happened to be through that cheap wooden door and his mouth began the trail that lead from my lips down my shoulders to my breast, where he taunted and nipped at each nipple, paying equal attention to each before moving on, leaving little red love bite along the way.

One hand still paused on my neck, his thumb ran over the pulse there as his other slipped under my knee, lifting my leg and opening me up for him as his lips danced against the hot folds between them and I gripped his hair, as he teased and dipped in, teasing the bundle of nerves that he also brushed with his teeth.

It’s a good thing the demon didn’t kill me, I would rather die this way, and if he kept going he was liable to give me a heart attack. Giving him a good tug on his hair, he gave me one last reason to moan, by capturing all of me in his mouth as he sucked hard on my skin. The feeling of being all consumed by him had me shaking bad enough that the one steady leg I was leaning on just about gave out.

His hand came down suddenly from my neck, dipped behind me and grabbed my ass and as he came up to claim my lips once more, the other joined its counterpart, lifting me up so that he had all of my weight pressed between him and the wall.  I wrapped my legs around his waist, locked my ankles behind him and felt him stiffen as the tip of his ready and waiting. I press forward, taking the tip of him in and watched as his lips parted and his forehead pressed against mine.

“Go slow,” he whispered, practically begged.

“Oh, my boy likes to be tortured?”  I smiled and felt him nod, his eyes closed.

“Need to,” he sighed out as I wrapped around him just a little more, “take it slow.”

I pressed up with my lips, brushing his mouth, the sides of his cheeks as I wrapped my arms around his neck, using his shoulders for some leverage and pulled my legs tighter around him, giving him no choice but to be pressed against me as closely as he could while I teased my way down his length. He let out little noises, something I never knew he could make as inch by painfully slow inch, I let him fill me, encased him in heat and when I was seated firmly against his hips, when there was nowhere left to go, I heard him sigh.

“No more going slow, Sam,” I demanded and with that he pulled back and thrust forward enough to make me gasp.

The pure pleasure of it had me digging my nails into his skin as he made sure one arm was braced under me as the other moved my hair aside so he could get to his favorite spot on my neck. I tilted my head, waited for that sharp pain and groaned as he teased me with every inch of the wild pace he had chosen and the feather light feeling of his mouth. 

“Ugh!” I growled in frustration and grabbed the back of his head.

He laughed as he pulled back and looked into my eyes. “My girl likes it rough,” he teased and rammed once again, causing my breath to hitch as I rolled my eyes and put my head back.

“Yes,” I answered and felt the growing heat as he did it several more times. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the soft feel of making love, but at this point, I wanted and what I wanted was nothing more than him to take me, every way he could, even if it was rough.  I opened my eyes, staring down into the darkened ones before me with a smile and tilted my head to the side. “Please, Sam.”

“Never pegged you for a beggar,” he whispered as he leaned down, his mouth hot against my flesh as his teeth grazed the flesh under them, all the while his rhythm never stopped and I could feel the buildup coming to a head.

“Only for you,” I managed to get out between gasping breaths, and with that his teeth sank down, making me cry out. I had such a high pain threshold that everything was either one way or the other, either pleasure or nothing but with Sam, he knew just what to do to bring me to that point and as his teeth sunk in and his thrust buried deep, I felt my world coming undone as I found myself begging again. “Harder.”

The laugh that vibrated over my shoulder made my eyes roll back as he pressed down deeper with his jaw, sucked harder on the skin and his driving force became quick, short movements as he found just the right spot to have me keening in his ear.  The man was a God, and I felt the climax rush through me, over him and he let out a moan that had me up and over the top once more before I felt him thicken within me.

His lips broke away from my neck, and he put his head back into the cooling stream of water as his lips parted and his eyes closed tightly. I could see the way his teeth clenched through his parted lips and he stiffened as he pushed up against me one last time before bringing his head down to my shoulder, resting the top of it where his lips had been, while he tried to catch his breath.

“Jesus, I think you’re trying to kill me,” Sam laughed with each breath he tried to catch.

“You’re the one that got in the shower with me,” I smiled as he kissed me while slowly releasing me, until I stood on wobbling legs, “and I’m trying to kill you?”

“Well, you know, you begging gets me all hot and bothered.”  Sam grinned, kissed my forehead and then quickly claimed my mouth once more, leaving a branding kiss upon it before he grabbed the soap and washed himself off quickly. I smiled as he rinsed, winked and disappeared out behind the curtain to find a towel.

I felt the hot air leave the room, which meant he left the door open and there was no way I was able to get out if Cas, Dean or Danni was in the room. Quickly, I checked behind the curtain to see that all of the towels were gone.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back against the wall before I sighed.

“You’re an asshole, Sam Winchester!” I screamed and listened to the loud belly laugh that came from somewhere towards the front of the motel room. With a big smile on my face, for the first time in days, I stood there completely alone in my head and relaxed. I wish I had spent more time there, because nothing ever stays quiet for long.


	46. DH God Killers - 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a little breakfast among friends, or the uninvited enemy.

**Chapter 13**

Things were eerily quiet for the next several hours, quiet enough to sleep, to dream, to find myself curled up in the arms of the man I was madly in love with.  But also quiet enough that I was shaken from those peaceful dreams to a sound outside the room.  I rolled my eyes, because if I didn’t get some kind of sleep at some point during this little trip, I was going to be dead on my feet and useless.  With a deep breath, I slipped out of Sam’s arms, grabbed his heavy flannel, one that went down to my knees and grabbed the spectrum from my bag.

I pushed the curtain aside and looked out at the figure that leaned against the charger, his hands in the pocket of the coat he was wearing and slipped on my shoes.  Crowley grinned at me as I opened the door, and he raised an eyebrow at the fact that I was wearing nothing much more than a make-shift nightgown.

“You would think Moose would have you in irons by now, Love.”  He said as he moved towards the front of the car and leaned back on the grill.  “I see all your cracks have been sealed in that beautiful noggin of yours.”

“No thanks to you,” I snapped and leaned against the doorsill, leaving it open in case Sam woke up. But then again, I was pretty sure he had woken up the moment I moved on the bed, he was just lying in wait to see what happened next.  “Way to be helpful, by the way, lure me into a devil’s trap, get me stuck and then pop off like you don’t need to explain exactly how I’m  _ your _ girl?”

“You’ve been my girl for as long as you can remember, Angel, your grandmother made that pact.”  Crowley answered and gave me a crooked grin. “Or did that pretty little hybrid fry your noodle that much already that you’ve forgotten all about that?”

“I swear to…” I paused and caught my breath, “what are you doing here?”

“I just came to check and make sure they finished the job,” he pushed away from the car and stepped closer to me, my grip on the spectrum tightened, but he stopped just out of knife point reach and glanced down at the blade.  “I’ll have to tell Jones that he did quite the job on the blade.  If you intended it for me, sorry to disappoint you Love, but you’d never have gotten it past the leather, but since most demons can’t see the rune work, he must have known you and I would have some sort of exchange while it was still in your possession.”

“What are you talking about?” It should have been more of “why wasn’t I shocked that Jones’ name had left Crowley’s lips” but apparently, it didn’t surprise me much. “Look, Fergus, if you’re trying to tell me that Jones is working your side of the line, that’s fine, it’s whatever. He’s never done me wrong and he’s kept me safe, even from the asshats you had stashed outside my house, so, just go away.”

“Fine,” he gave a little shrug and smiled, but looked me in the eyes before turning away, “the pact still holds, Kitten, no harm shall come to you.”

“Yeah,” I whispered and watched him turn his back to me, my fingers tightened on it, and I took a deep breath, “I know.”

With that he faded into the shadows, he didn’t pop out of existence, didn’t move with the sound of wings like Cas did, but just faded.  With a sigh, I turned and walked into the room. Sam stood by the table, in nothing but his boxers, with his arms crossed over his chest, as I closed the door and leaned against it.

“I just want to sleep,” I mumbled and let out a breath.  Seeing my frustration, Sam walked over and took my hand, slipped the blade out and set it on the table, and led me back to the bed, where he pulled me down with him.

Wrapped up in those long, thick arms, against the warmth of this body, and the feel of his breath against my head, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the tick of his heart.  The way it felt under my ear gave me a certain calm, and slowly I drifted off into some sort of sleep, one that felt as if I were just floating in the darkness and even then, it was the best that I could have hoped for.

~~~~~

The rattling of the door stirred me from the light sleep I had started to come into, a general slow awakening that let my ears hear everything as my body prepared for the day, or a fight, whichever came first. But it was the sudden banging of the door behind me that made me jump and had Sam sitting up in the bed, letting me fall to the mattress from where he had been holding me against his chest. One hand came down, pressed against my lower back, as if trying to tuck me underneath and I heard the distinct sound of the safety pop off on the younger Winchester’s firearm.

“Rise and shine, Sammy!”  Dean cheered gleefully.

“Jesus, Dean!”  Sam groaned, I heard the clank of the gun on the nightstand and Sam flopped back down in the bed beside me.  I prayed that it had been at least four hours since Crowley’s unscheduled visit otherwise I was planning on really giving the green-eyed one a run for his money.  “What the hell, Man?”

“Listen, it’s breakfast, I’m up, Danni’s awake and I want to eat, so get Miss Tiny Tush there out of bed and let’s go.” Sam grabbed the pillow that had fallen beside the bed and tossed it at his brother, but I heard Dean’s maniacal laugh and the door slam shut before the pillow hit the table.

Sam leaned down and kissed the side of my head, started to trail it down where he moved my hair and his lips rested against the red mark he had left the night before, putting a little bit of pressure on hit, which elicited a moan from me, despite my best efforts.

“If you start, we’re not making it to food,” I grumbled but tucked myself up against him as he continued to brush over that one spot, his hand spread out on my back and traveled lower to the curve of my ass, until he could hook my knee over his hip. “Sam!”

I wanted it to be a growl, a warning to stop but hell, who was I to stop the man when he was in the mood. I closed my eyes, let him roll me back on the mattress, he wanted weight pressed down on me as he skillfully removed the panties I had warn to bed, screw the tank.

It was soft, the way that he moved, positioning everything just right so that when I was heated enough from his kiss alone, which didn’t take me long with the way he teased, he slipped right in. I gasped at the feeling of him stretching me around him, but it turned to some low whimper as he pressed further and withdrew just enough to make me want more.

I followed his movements, trying to keep the connection with his mouth as his body found a slow, torturous pace that let me feel every inch of him, and the sheer pleasure as he hit the perfect spot. I felt the smile cross his lips when I pulled back a little and cried out, because his tease of it became relentless, until my nails dug into his skin and I had no choice but to release his kiss in order to breath, and try to keep the noises down through the thin walls.

“Let them hear it, baby,” Sam teased, the smile in his voice and that was all it took, just that deep, sexy lust-filled voice to put me over the edge and I grabbed the edge of the mattress above me as I came undone.

“SAM!” I hissed through clenched teeth as he laughed and I felt him swell, riding the same wave I was until we were both gasping for air.  He didn’t  _ roll _ off me, in fact he stayed very much attached at the hips, but he grabbed the pillow and tucked it under his head, moving some of his upper frame from my smaller one in order to let me catch my heart. I smiled as I turned my head to the side and watched him close his eyes, a grin playing on his lips.  “You know this means we’re going to have to shower  _ again _ before we even make it out the door to have food.”

“Mmm, shower sex,” he mumbled low and I felt him twitch inside me.

“Stop!” I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in days and felt him move his hips just a bit, as he got comfortable.  “You know your brother is going to be pounding on that door in five minutes.”

“Don’t care,” Sam whispered as his eyes closed and he pulled me closer, his right arm tucking under my shoulder so that his lips touched my neck.

“I do, I’m actually hungry for once, and I need coffee, and pancakes.” I whined and listened to him sigh, but as I trailed my hand from his back lower to where the curve of his hips were, I heard him whimper against me. “Are you going to get up so we can go to breakfast?”

“Keep your hand moving that way and I’m getting up, but you’re missing a lot more than just breakfast,” he teased and slowly pushed himself up to his hands as he let me escape from under him with a soft kiss on the lips.

I smiled at him as he grabbed the pillow I had used and curled up with it, burying his face into the white pillowcase.  I shook my head, grabbed some clothes and headed into the shower, loving the fact that Sam was laying in the bed just outside the door.

~~~~~

Breakfast was at a little place in Old Town Winchester called The Hideaway Café, a little spot hidden on the main historic street in town, and they had the most amazing coffee.  I was so impressed by it that the fact that I couldn’t have the pancakes I had been craving was completely forgotten, especially when I took a bite of the bagel with cream cheese. 

Dean sat beside me, making eyes at Danni, who was rolling hers over the top of her cup, Sam sat across from me, his feet locked around mine as we playfully smiled at each other and Cas sat to my right, his hands in his lap as he looked over the patrons in the building.  Dean was going over the papers that John had included with the letter as Sam ticked away at the laptop.  I was just enjoying the moment of peace when I heard the word I really had hoped to avoid that morning.

“Huh,” Sam said, and I shook my head, because you know it was case related when that boy sat anywhere near a computer and said  _ that _ one little word.

“I’m so going to regret this, but,” Dean spoke up, and looked at me than at his brother while he lifted his coffee cup, “whatcha got?”

“Well, according to the news this morning, there was another M/S last night on the other side of town.” Sam read, but it was the confused look in his eyes that had me shaking my head. “So, get this,” and Dean rolled his eyes, “the couple had been downtown searching the antique shops after stopping at the Jordan Springs Estate.  The owner of the shop said that he recognized the couple who had come in looking for a specific piece in a collection handed over by the owners of the estate.  He stated that the couple had been cheerful and excited that he was able to find out more information about the piece in question until they started asking about an ornate mirror, at which point they became frantic and angry.  The mirror was found completely destroyed yesterday morning and the couple hadn’t returned to pick up the item they had purchased.”

“So, what? The mirror’s juju still worked after it was “destroyed?” Dean said and went to take a sip of his coffee, but looked down at the empty mug.

I grinned at Cas, who looked amused that he had managed to switch out Dean’s cup with his, but the older Winchester had seen the way we exchanged smile and snatched his cup back with a dirty look. 

“It seems that the magic wasn’t just in the reflection,” Cas added and glanced at the way my cup was still half-full, which made me put my hand over the top of it.  “If the magic remained until the spell was complete than that would explain why I had an adverse reaction to it and why this couple also continued to act under its influence.”

“Any idea what “piece” they were nosing into?”  I questioned, and watched him turn the computer around, but there was nothing much except a shot of the mirror and the way that the glass had fallen onto the ground.  I shook my head, looking over the photo a second time before sitting back.  Danni leaned in closer to Sam as he continued to scroll through the articles on the sight. “What kind of place would send someone looking for a piece of antique anything?”

“Thought I was the only one that caught that funny little tidbit,” Danni spoke up and stopped Sam’s moving thumb as he came up to another article.  “This one says the same thing, it was the couple that Sam and I had stopped at the night before.  They were sent looking to find a sterling silver hairbrush.”

“Well, that one they got, but it makes me wonder,” I pulled out my phone and dialed up Carol’s number, putting her on speaker, I turned it down just enough so that the five of us could hear her but not the rest of the café.

“Hey, Ali, what’s going on?”  Carol said with a smile.

“Hey Carol, you’re on speaker, and we’ve got the whole Scooby gang here, just so you know,” I answered and listened to her giggle.

“You mean Sam and Dean are with you?”  I watched Danni shake her head, but the grin rose on her lips. “Oh, my God, hi guys.”

“Hi Carol,” Sam replied.

“Hey, what’s up?”  Dean grumbled as he brought his coffee up again, trying to back out of the conversation.

“Cas is here as well,” I looked over at the quiet angel and raised an eyebrow as he gave me a dry look.

“Cas? Really?”

“Hello, Carol,” Castiel greeted and we listened to the woman on the other end squeal in delight.

“Okay, okay, keep it together!” I scolded playfully.  “We need your help.”

“Um,” she said softly as she collected herself. “Okay, shoot, I’m ready.”

“I need you to get into the main server at the Jordan Springs Estate historical sight and get me a list of all the items donated or sold to any local and regional antique shops.” I requested and listened to her type away on the computer. “They would mainly be obscure items, I’m sure. One boudoir mirror and a silver hairbrush were on the list, but we have some questions about what else they might have gotten rid of.”

“It might take me a little bit, but I’m sure I can hunt it down.” She replied but suddenly cleared her throat. “Hubby just pulled in, I will work on this during lunch, unless you need it right away.”

“No, you have time with him and when you’re set, send it my way.”  I sighed and looked up at Danni, the husband being home so early was never really a good sign.  “Carol, be safe.”

“Happy hunting,” she said with a grin in her voice. “Call you as soon as I know anything.”

“Thanks Cas,” Danni replied and Castiel looked up at her, but I put my hand on his and shook my head, quieting the comment he was going to make.

“Yeah, I will definitely be in touch.” She said quickly. “Bye!” And the phone went dead.

“Why would I not like the fact that she hung up the phone that quickly?”  Castiel questioned, and Danni and I just gave each other a look before we went back to our beverages, leaving his question unanswered.

“So,” I answered, finishing the bite I had taken of the bagel in my mouth before I continued, “plan of action, we check out the antique store and inquire into the item that the couple purchased but never picked up,” I started but looked down when my phone beeped. Dean tried to look over my shoulder as I checked out the text message, “or we could scratch that and go to Jordan Springs to check out what’s still there from the list Carol just sent me.”

“She sent you a list?”  Sam questioned holding out a hand, one that I placed the phone into, “already?”

“Well, she does what she has to and gets things done, I guess.” I smiled, proud of our northern friend.

“Huh.” Sam raised a brow, impressed and I reached under the table to run my fingers up his thigh.

His eyes peeked up over the top of the computer, darkening with the just the feel of my fingers, but I had to touch him, he was too far away, Dean was too near and the older brother’s leg was against mine.  The strange part was, Dean’s touching, while calming, just made me need to make contact more with Sam.

The waitress came over, and Dean moved back, his shoulder pressing against me as he made way for her to pour without spilling it on him, but this action only made me tighten my hold on Sam. I watched the man I love stare at me with concern and suddenly he gave a small gesture, as if he wanted to leave. With a sigh, I nodded and stood from the chair.

“I’ll be back,” I stated and slid out from behind them.

“You want anyone to go with?”  Danni questioned my abrupt decision.

“No, I’m pretty sure I don’t need a hand, or a guard to go to the bathroom.”  I smiled but grabbed the cell from Sam, winking at him, as I stuffed it in my pocket and made my way towards the bathroom.  Glancing back over at the table, I ducked out the door and headed up to street level. Just around the side of the building, I pressed against the concrete wall and sighed.  It wasn’t long before Sam came out, glanced at me as he rounded the corner and came to a stop within arm’s grasp from me.

I reached out and grabbed his shirt with both hands, wanting so badly to kiss him but that wasn’t why I agreed to come out here. Sam’s fingers traced over my face before his hands landed on my neck, forming to fit the space that it covered, from my chin to my shoulder.

“Are you okay, you look a bit anxious?”  He asked softly and I shook my head.  With a deep breath, I tried to concentrate, to understand what I was feeling. “Ali, it’s me, nothing you say is going to upset me, so just let it out.”

“It’s Dean,” and I watched as he blinked, but there was no jealousy there.  “When he touched me… okay that’s not the word, his leg was against my thigh, his shoulder on mine and despite the way it feels, which is the way it always has, like grounding, I wanted to punch him.”

Sam smiled and licked his lips, “you wanted to punch Dean?” I rolled my eyes at the fact that he was getting such a kick out of this, “and it’s upsetting you?”

“I still feel it, Sam!”  I tried to get the words out.  “I still feel the darkness, the build-up, and when people get angry, I feel the air thicken and… yeah, for some reason I wanted to punch Dean, like… I don’t know.”

“Hey,” he smiled, placing his other hand down on me, and his thumbs tilted up my chin, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, and Dean, sweetheart, he’s just being Dean.”

“I know, but I can’t help think about Danni and how she must feel with this connection, with this whole thing.” I leaned into his touch, letting the smell of him just wash over him. “I’m going to try and stay away, and I need your help to do it.”

“Oh, I can help,” he teased as he stepped closer, lowering to me as I stepped up on my toes. His lips were a breath away from mine as I smile.  “I’m pretty sure I could tie you to the bed and do what I want with you, and you wouldn’t even argue, that would keep you away from him.”

“And what would this being tied up entail?” I laughed as his mouth brushed mine, and then he moved them to caress my cheek before settling by my ear.

“A whole lot of this,” his tongue flicked out just touching my earlobe, and a shiver passed through me, before he quickly broke contact and his heat pulled away.  I looked at him, red faced and needy and he wiggled his eyebrows at me.  “See, totally helped with it, right?”

“Jerk!”  I smiled as he released my neck and took my hand.

“I know,” he winked and kissed me quickly but lingered too close once again, “but I love you.”

“I love you too,” I grinned like a little girl and stole my own kiss, “but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re a jerk.”

Sam gave me just a little grin as he tugged on my hand and pulled me down towards the café. Just before we entered the building, the wash of thick air swirled around me, and I stopped, which in turn stopped him from moving and he looked back at me.  I followed the feeling, the way the air seemed to move in a certain direction and my eyes fell on the man who stood across the cobblestone streets three buildings down.

My grip grew tighter on Sam as I stared at the man who stood there, the small smirk across his face, his dark eyes as black as night, but not full like a demons, but he radiated something so light that the air turned to jello, thick and hard to breath, or maybe it was just the way I reacted to him.

_ Hello, sweetness, finally glad to see you dressed. _ His voice whispered to me as I stared, Sam moving beside me, but even those few steps seemed to take him forever to accomplish.

_ Get the hell out of my head, Zane! _ I growled and forced it at him, thinking about how it would work if I were really there and I could knock that arrogant smirk off his face.  He stepped back as the thought hit him, just a little bit of a stumble but I could tell he felt it.

_ You shouldn’t have done that, precious. _ His grin turned to a sneer and his fingers began to rise as the wind came up, moving through the alley like a wind tunnel and I watched as some of the tables around us started to shake. 

“Move!” I snapped at Sam, pushing at his arms as he tried to gather me in his arms. “Move now!”

We were able to duck inside the doorway just as one of the wrought iron tables came flying past us, banging against the cobblestone on the very spot where we had just been standing.  I stepped out from behind the wall, looked over at where Zane was casually watching, and shook my head. The grin formed again on his face and he winked.

_ See you soon, beautiful!  _ He mocked and suddenly was gone.

Sam came out, looked over at where he had been standing and I took a deep breath.  It wasn’t over, in fact, him being in my head was far from over. This was just the beginning, and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I got angry. Sam’s hand slipped around my waist as I closed my eyes, reigned in the emotions and let him tuck me up against him before bringing me inside.

Dean looked up at us as we approached, Cas stood up and I watched his nose crinkle.  Yeah, I smelled like demon again, and with a sigh I sat down and waited as the waitress refilled my cup.  Sam’s legs tucked around mine once more and the two of us said nothing about the encounter outside, not that I believe Sam had seen anything and I began to wonder if this was all in my head. If the cracks that Crowley had mentioned weren’t always there, if I had always been just a little off, and if the demon in my head, was just that, in my head.

I swallowed hard and looked at the people around me. I closed my eyes and gathered my strength because I knew something bad was coming, something really, really bad.


	47. DH God Killers - Ch 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan Springs, one of the most haunted places in Virginia and you want me to go where?

**Chapter 14**

Our plan of action was simple, get into Jordan Springs, take a look around, get the info we needed and get the hell out of there but you know what they say about plans, even the most well laid ones.  With my head not anywhere close to in the game, I found the air around the Estate to be just a little energized for my taste.

Even Cas himself seemed a little off. I watched as he looked around, as if trying to pinpoint where the feeling was coming from before I walked over and stood by him, my hands tucked in the jacket of my coat.  We had finally gotten him out of the suit and into a pair of jeans, tee-shirt and one of Dean’s canvas jackets, which still hung on loose on him since he wasn’t as big as Dean. Cas looked… normal

“You’re not going to be able to find it, you know, it’s everywhere around here.” I sighed and listened to the silence as he stared out at the grounds.

“Possibly not, but there is definitely something here that strikes me as… well, it strikes me.” He replied and glanced in my direction.  “The wall, is it holding?”

“Not in the slightest,” I took a deep breath and slowly released it. “I saw him today, Zadimus,  _ Zane,  _ whatever he calls himself, in the middle of Old Town, he moved the tables, brought the wind and could have killed Sam and I.” I looked up at Cas, whose blue eyes were staring down at me, “what’s his game plan?”

“I’ve been cut off from heaven for a while now, I can’t really tell you much about what is known about him except what I’ve already told you, and what you know from Hollister.  We know nothing of the real course of this event, Ali, I’m sorry that I can’t help you more.” Cas sighed, his hand coming over to rest on my opposite shoulder, as if he were about to give me a squeeze, but I could feel the light in him and it stung.  Hissing, I stepped away and caught my breath, as if I had just been electrocuted.  He tilted his head just a bit and gave me a curious look. “Your eyes are glowing.”

“So are yours.” I whispered staring up at him. I watched as his faded, but he continued to stare as he reached out a hand to me, but I jumped back quickly. “That probably wouldn’t be the best idea.”

“This is very strange,” Cas said softly as he turned completely towards me and closed the distance so that I had to look up at him. “Most humans don’t glow when touched by an angel, in fact most creatures aren’t able to syphon off the energy needed to create that effect.”

“Cas, I’m not a science project,” I told him as I took a step back, as his hand began to rise.  “Touch me and I’ll shoot you in the foot!” 

“I believe you’re right, that it’s not the best idea.” He answered as he closed his fingers into a fist and placed it by his side. “What do you feel?”

“Like I’m about to jump out of my skin, like when you touched me all I felt was a shock, and when Dean touched me, it was… It was like sandpaper.” I found myself growing more irritated by the thought of being touched but then again, I thought of Sam, how I wanted him, needed him, how easy it was to give into him.

“He touches your darkness, I told you that before.” Cas stated, our conversation low enough to still stay between us and I looked up at him in shock.  “Sam. You said his name out loud, I told you that his darkness will feed of you.”

“So, Dean’s what… light? Like Danni?”

“Grounding, more than light, it seems.” Cas sighed, “Have you touched Danni? Since the ritual?”

“No, I don’t go around touching people, Cas, that’s just creepy.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead, the angel had me bouncing all over the place in my head, like a ball trapped in a room, forever bouncing and I couldn’t catch my thoughts. “God, I wish this would stop.”

“Hey?” Sam whispered, his thumb running over my neck and I looked up at Cas quickly, hoping my eyes had stopped glowing. His touch silenced everything, a strange turn of events since usually that was what Dean’s did to me, but I licked my lips and tried to reach out and feel something, anything. “So, we got the stuff we need to get inside. Dean and Danni are talking to the head of security.”

“What are we going in as this time?” I smiled up at him, praying that my eyes were the right color blue, and watched as he smiled down at me before kissing me softly on the lips.

“College students.” He grinned.

“You do realize I’m the mother of an eighteen-year-old, there is no way in hell we’re college students.”  I laughed and watched as he just gave me that look, that one little “trust me” grin that had me shaking my head and going with the flow.

“Okay, so more like Graduate Studies at the Smithsonian,” Sam shrugged as he took my hand and I rolled my eyes towards Cas as the angel followed.

“I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut and follow your lead, big boy.”  I laughed and gave his fingers a squeeze. Sam gave me a sly grin, shook his head a bit and led us on to meet up with Danni and Dean but I glanced back at Cas, who still seemed distracted, this time his attention was focused on me.

~~~~~

The inside of the building was just as charged as the outside, but the energy was just a little different. It was as if two powers were battling each other for control over the place, and it struck me as strange that I seemed to be the only one affected.  I kept seeing Cas reach out for me from the corner of my eyes and I shrunk away, maybe I wasn’t the only one feeling it if the angel decided that being too close wasn’t close enough.

Sam kept a firm grip on my hand, Danni kept looking back as Dean took up the rear, and I closed my eyes, praying for patience since I could almost hear him touching everything we past.  With a quick glance back, I caught him running his fingers over the naked statue of a woman holding a water jug.  His eyes came up just in time to see mine and he tucked his hands behind his back, stepping up to the group.

The man droned on forever, but Sam and Danni were curious about the past.  I, for one, just wanted to know where the damn energy was coming from.  When we stopped that the entrance of the ballroom, a large wide open space that made me step back, I could feel my heart begin to race.  Dean pushed past me to get a closer look, rubbing against me, which made the sandpaper feeling of his arm against mine grow and I found myself grinding my teeth.

If Dean’s touch did that to me, what the the hell would Danni’s do.  I shook it off, released Sam’s hand and took a step further back from the group. Sam glanced back at me as I gave him a wink and waved at him to go on, while I leaned against the doorway. Cas also turned back, but I shook my head at his worried brow and watched as they moved on.

Biting my lip, I took one step into the room while the others were busy looking at the walls that were covered with paintings, but as soon as my foot hit the floor everything started to spin.  It was as if a vortex had opened up and I was being sucked into the middle of the room. Grasping at the door frame, I literally pulled myself out of the room and ducked around the corner, placing my back to the busy wallpaper.

Sweat seemed to pour from me as I stood there, I had to get out of that house, had to move, had to get away from the power, but then I thought about it.  What if the power wasn’t coming from just the ballroom, what if it was coming from underneath it.

Dean stepped by me, not even noticing that I was pressed against the wall and I watched as he stopped at a door, somewhere around where I had seen him touching the statue.  He glanced back and forth, finally noticing me there and his eyes narrowed as his fingers went to the handle on the door, giving it a little bit of a twist, he shook his head and gestured for me to come towards him.

With a deep breath, I pushed away from the wall and made my way over.  With me blocking the view of the ballroom, he picked the old lock that kept the door closed but then he licked his lips, stood up straight and looked at me.

“What are you doing out here alone?” He questioned, his voice was little more than a whisper.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I answered and he took a breath, knowing that I was hiding something from him and not liking it.  His hand reached out, a motion I jumped back from, which definitely didn’t go unnoticed, but he flicked at the small plastic hook on the strap of my backpack.

“Expecting the Boogie Man?” he questioned with a raised brow as I reached over and flicked at the gun hidden beneath his shirt.

“Expecting a witch?” I retorted and watch him give in as he looked around, opened the door and grabbed my wrist. The sandpaper feeling seemed to cloud my judgement as he pulled me onto the landing that went to the basement stairs. Huh, guess I wasn’t the only one with the same thought.

Dean closed the door quietly, clicked on the flashlight and stopped to look at me as I backed up against the wall again, keeping my distance from him. He reached out, his lips parted and he touched the side of my cheek with the back of his finger, a touch that I needed but a feeling I cringed from.

“What’s the matter with you?” I closed my eyes, trying hard not to look at him but that finger cuffed the underside of my chin and he turned my head. “Hey, Ali,” his voice was calming, which seemed to radiate through to his touch, which didn’t seem so scratchy anymore, “talk to me.”

“It hurts when you touch me,” I whispered, ashamed that it felt that way, that it came out that way and his finger fell, but I caught it in my hand before he could fist it up, and I swallowed hard before looking into his eyes.  “Since last night, everyone’s touch hurts, everyone but Sam and I have no idea why. I need you, Dean, but it’s like your light hurts.”

“I’m sorry, have you met me?” He snarked and shook his head, “there’s no light in here, Ali.”

“You say that, but I can feel it,” I smiled and grabbed his other hand, letting him flow into me, like I could just feel his energy and it was like Cas but not as strong.  “It’s why you do what you do to me, why I feel so safe around you, your light to my darkness, but it’s also your serenity to my chaos.  It makes it more wild and only Sam seems to bring that down.”

“What about Danni?”  He whispered and I took a deep breath, letting his hand go until I only held the top of his fingers.

“I don’t know, I haven’t tried it yet,” I let him go, placed a hand on his heart and closed my eyes, “I don’t want to lose you, Dean.”

“Not going to happen, Kid, not while I’m around,” he sighed and kissed my forehead quickly before he turned to the darkness of the stairway, his flashlight stopping in the blackness.  “Oh, well this is going to be so much fun.”

Dean found the bottom of the stairs before I made it halfway down, the further I went into the basement, the more overwhelming it became.  Dean looked back, his face full of concern as I grabbed the railing and finally sat down on the stairs.

“Whatever it is, it's coming from down here,” I whispered and blinked back the lethargic feeling that was suddenly taking over my legs. When it spread up to my body, and to my eyes, I fought to keep them open.

“Al!” Dean’s voice rang through the fog and as soon as his hands touched my face, I was wide awake.  “Stay with me, Kid, you can’t be falling asleep down here.” 

I nodded, took hold of his hand, and let him lead me into the darkness, the gun and flashlight balanced skillfully in one of his hands. I drew the Walther from the back of my jeans and kept my eye and ear opened to the noises around me.  Finally, he turned, gestured his head to the strange wrought iron gate and looked down at my hand. I released him long enough for him to swing the well-oiled gate open and give me a confused look.

Nope, that couldn’t be good.

Taking a deep breath, he took my hand once again and the two of us stepped into the tunnel that the gate had blocked. We walked on for what seemed like forever, and that was when I noticed the smell, and covered my nose with the back of my hand.

Death permeated the air, and Dean choked a little, pulled his tee-shirt up and covered his nose. He flashed the light around the room before settling on the pile of bodies that were in the corner.  Stepping up, instead of away, he brought the light down on one of the unknown faces of the decomposing figure.  I saw the muscles bunch under his shirt as he crouched down before turning back to me, shining the light over my body and he backed up.

“What are they?  I mean who are they?”  I questioned as he shook his head.

“Just people, looks like food for something, but just people.” He sighed and his eye flickered around the rest of the room.  There were shelves everywhere, empty spaces where things belonged that weren’t there anymore and I watched as his eyes locked on one specific area of the room.  Following his gaze, I turned and looked at the large empty spot.  “I think I found out where our little cursed items are coming from.  They aren’t storing them in a basement…”

“They’re taking them from a tomb.” I finished and walked over to where the emptiness was, looked at the placard on the wall and sighed.  It was a grave marker, and down on the floor in front of it was the shape of the legs from the mirror in the shop. “These weren’t the owners listed on the deeds to the original Sulfur Springs.”

“No kidding,” he replied and still scanned the area, “they were probably the ones that the demons possessed just to get into this place.” I listened to his breathing as he tried to keep it regulated through the shirt but I could tell that it was only increasing, Dean was getting worried.  “This is bad, Ali, really bad.”

“Yeah, you ain’t kidding.” I moved out of the room, turned and glanced at the tunnels, totally turned around, I had no idea where we were. “Ah, Dean,” I whispered as he stepped up behind me, his hand touching my hip lightly, “I think we’re lost.”

“No way,” he chuckled, but I watched the light move behind me, going up one side of the hall down to the other, and the chuckle disappeared, “no freaking way!”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.” I whispered and felt him step out past me.

I had never seen Dean confused, never seen him so turned around but at that moment, there was nothing that I could do for him, because I was the exact same way. I watched the darkness creep in around his eyes, forcing back the terror and the confusion and the man that I met when this all began stared at me from behind those green eyes.  This Dean, this hard ass, dark and dangerous man whose eyes were burning into me, this was the Dean that I knew.

“Okay, new plan,” he stated, reaching out to take my hand, not that we had an old plan to begin with, but he tugged me out and we started down the hall headed towards the left. He released me as we walked, pulled his cell from the back of his jeans and lit up the screen. “Crap, there’s no service down here.”

“Mine either,” I sighed, having mimicked his move when I saw what his thought process was.  “So, no signal, no way to get ahold of the others and apparently, we’re lost, there has to be something else we can do to get them to pay attention.”

“Cas,” Dean whispered.

“Right, the one who hasn’t been on angel radio in years, only seems to answer to Danni and apparently thinks I’m some new toy.” I grumbled out and watched him stop before he turned to me, his light illuminating on me as I turned my head away from it.  “What?”

“What’s your deal?”  He snapped and this caught my attention.

“What’s my…” I rubbed my forehead, “my deal about what, Dean?”

“You and Cas and Danni, you were all lying to me this whole time,” he stated and I nodded.

“Yeah, we were,” I shrugged. “We were working together to figure out our family line, Cas was going back in time to try to find something, anything that would connect the dots, to make it make sense, but you know what, it didn’t work, because this whole thing is a pile of bull crap!”

“You think that gives you the right to lie to me?”  He stepped forward and suddenly I could feel the power radiating off of him, like a wave of darkness and I found myself looking around, trying to find something, anything that would have set him off.  “You were hunting and didn’t even tell me.  You and Danni were meeting in secret, with  _ Cas _ , without bothering to even acknowledge the fact that I might want to know, that I might need to know?”

“Why would you need to know, Dean? You had Danni right there with you, there was no need for you to know anything that was going on with me.” I watched as his lips went tight and he shook his head.

“Really?” He used his empty hand to run along his chin before he leaned in close enough that I could feel the warmth of his body. “You think that little of yourself that after all we had been through I wouldn’t have given a damn to know the fact that you were putting yourself in danger, that I wouldn’t care that you were in harm’s way?”

“I told you to protect her!” I snapped and back away, but he grabbed the strap to my bag, holding me in place.

“And I told you that I would always protect you no matter what, that it was you first.”

“And that was your first mistake.” I slapped his hand away and moved past him, headed down the tunnel.

I heard him growl and then the sound of his boots following as I dug my own flashlight out of the side pocket of the bag.  I knew something was going on with him, that he would have never said that if something hadn’t been affecting him because  _ me first _ hadn’t come into play since the vampires and he had spent the last two months protecting Danni like I had told him to do.

We walked on in silence for what seemed like forever, as the ground beneath our feet grew soggy and the smell in the air turned to rotten eggs. We were close to the springs, closer than I wanted to be and when I switched out my gun for the spectrum at my hip, I felt Dean’s hand on the small of my back, under the weight of the pack.

“Do you feel that?” I whispered, sensing the change in the air.

“I feel some nasty water sinking into my boots, and I feel the damn roots above my head, other than that, I got nothing,” he whispered, his voice close enough that if I turned my head just a little, I would be pressing against his cheek.

“Something’s coming,” I shook as I spoke the words but I could hear it then, now that we were standing still, the noises that were fast approaching behind us. Dean and I both looked back, making out the sounds of footfalls and he took my hand once more. “Dean?”

“Run!” He slipped past me and the two of us started to run through the darkened tunnel, the lights that we tried to keep in front of us didn’t work and I know that I fell several times, not on anything hard but because the ground was so soft.

We didn’t see the dead end coming, didn’t notice that the darkness turned into a thick wooden wall, not until the two of us were crashing through it and tumbling down onto the cold concrete floor of some useless, and abandoned building.

We stood the best we could, looked for a way out, wanted to run again but there was no time, nothing else to do to escape whatever was following us and Dean tucked me behind him, his demon blade pulled from the sheath that was tucked into the inside pocket of his flannel.  I never wondered until then why he always wore one, but I knew now, because who would suspect that you had a demon killing weapon hidden away in some unsuspecting place.

“Dean,” I started as the noise drew closer, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t start with that “let’s make amends” crap, no one’s dying here.” He snapped at me as he looked back over his shoulder.

“You didn’t even hear what I was sorry for,” I smiled and watched as he shrugged.

“Don’t care, apology not accepted.” He widened his stance, his arm came up as if it were some sort of magical barrier that I couldn’t pass and I smiled.

“Why do you need to be such a child?” I grinned as I watched the side of his face, a small smile playing on the corner of his lips.

“It’s part of my boyish charm,” he answered and he glanced at me, “get ready, whatever it is, it’s coming in fast.”

I held my breath, held my spectrum close, took the bag from my shoulder and tossed it across the room, freeing myself of the weight, and as we stood there waiting on all hell to break loose, I thought of Sam, of how much I hadn’t told him, I thought of Danni and the way that I had left it with her and how I could mend what I felt I had broken and I thought of Cas, the angel that had done so much to protect me.  I thought of my children, of them growing up without a mother and then I thought of Dean, about how he grew up without one, how he had become the fighter that stood solidly in front of me without a second though to his own health.

I thought about all of these things and I thought of more, but the one thing I never touched on, the one little thing that slipped my mind was the feeling that started at the back of my neck, the thickness in the air and the way that something around me circled, like a vulture closing in to pick the meat off the kill.

I straightened up, my lips parted as the air became almost paste and I turned to look in the direction of the doorway, the only way that we could see as an out but never made it to.  He stood there, the man from the street, the one from the hotel room, the voice in my head.

He stood there, in all his smugness, in jeans and a tee-shirt, looking like a normal human, and he smiled at me, a crooked, wide smile that told me one thing, he was evil incarnate and he was there to watch.

I reached out to tug on Dean’s shirt, but the man was focused on what was coming in front of us and not what was standing behind us.  Turning, I put my back to him, pressed up against him, my blade at the ready and I waited, staring at Zane through narrowed eyes. Whatever was coming down that tunnel was nothing compared to what was coming from the direction of the thing in the doorway.

Zane smiled, took a step forward and literally faded into non-existence. My heart raced as I looked around the room trying to locate where he had gone by the energy that surrounded me, that was until the first sounds of a growl that came from the man I was pressed against. I turned just in time to see four demons pile through the door, their black eyes and grey faces took my breath away, but it was the four that appeared before me, as if Zane had been blocking the fact that they were approaching, that nearly caught me off guard.

“How many do you have?”  I questioned and my hand fumbled to grip tighter on anything I could hold, finally gripping the loose part of the fabric near his thigh.

“I have four, what do you got?”  He answered his fingers coming down, running along the back of my hand. I felt the surge of energy from him, as if he had pushed it knowing what it would do to me and my body began to vibrate with it.

“By my count, four.”  I released him, grabbed the boot knife from where it was strapped on my ankle and felt him reach for the colt at his back.  “Are we waiting for them to get ontop of us, or are we running headlong?”

“Headlong sounds good to me,” he replied and I put my head back against him, letting him know that I agreed.  “On the count of three, keep your back to me, stay close.”

“Got it,”

“One,” he said softly.

“Two,” I breath out.

“Three,” his voice vibrated through me and he fired off a shot.

That was it, everything seemed to happen in a flash.  The demons were on me, they were on Dean and the two of us were doing the job that needed to be done, no matter who they inhabited.  I heard one go down behind me, just as I drove the spectrum into the one before me.  Two attacked at once and I lost sight of Dean.  I slashed as I moved, losing the heat from my back and I knew that it had been their strategy to do just that.

The air thickened the more I fought, the angrier I got.  I heard Dean go flying across the room and smash into a wall. Turning, I watched one of the demons he had been fighting move to hover over him, my heart skipped, my world started to blacken and I let that power in me take over. 

Before I knew it, I was jabbing the end of the spectrum up and through the demon’s back. I thought that would be it, that it would just do what it normally did, spark’em up and dust’em out, but this time, right before the end, I felt a strange tingle in my hand, the one that held the blade and the heat raced up my arm.  Just like Cas, I took the evil from this one, and I was flying high on it as it raced through me.

Keeping it locked down, I watched my world turn to black. I could see the way that the blood flowed through each of them, and the strange pattern of darkness that I had seen only in Sam.  Looking down at Dean, the only thing flowing through him was a bright light in his veins and I smiled.  How could he not know just how good he was under all that fight.  I knew he was  _ dark,  _ and by that I mean dark in a way unlike the man I thought I knew.  He was harder, dangerous but not demonic and evil, not like the bastards before me. 

Dean groaned in pain, turning over as another came at me, I made sure that his blade was close enough to his hand before I started swinging and when the spectrum entered another one of the bodies before me, when I ripped it up and saw the spark of demon leave them, I watched my vision close just a bit more.

“ALI!” Dean screamed from behind me, and I twirled on the ball of my foot, swinging with just enough force to connect with the man that was standing there, his knife above his head, and with that next kill, I saw nothing but Dean’s shocked face, while he got to his feet, as the world I knew turned to black.


	48. DH God Killers - Ch 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of a warning on this chapter, it gets intense.

**Chapter 15**

Imagine if you will, standing outside yourself, watching everything that happened to you as if you were just an observer, just another face in the crowd, a ringside seat to all the action that you can handle. But you can feel every ounce of pain, every hint of anger and rampant rage that flowed through your system, and then it would fade, as if nothing had ever happened, right before coming at you once again full blast.

That’s what I was doing suddenly, watching from the outside.  Standing apart from myself, and I mean literally.  The monster inside me had kicked me out, broken down the walls that Sam and Cas had tried so hard to put up and my spirit now seemed to be free floating.  I watched with confusion as I suddenly stood across the room as my body welded that spectrum blade like a pro, not that I wasn’t, but the fluid motions as it dipped into and slashed across the demons Dean and I had been fighting together made it look like a dance.

There were eight by my count, but between the two of us, or the two of them, the process of dispatching them was almost too quick and easy, and it occurred to me why.  I watched as my body turned, the bright blueness of my eyes made me think of an angel, the way their grace could grow, like a puffed-up chest, show of strength and that animated thing moved towards Dean, who was just now yanking the demon blade from the chest of one of the fallen. But the black eyes, the demon’s darkness, shown behind them, as if the two were wrestling with each other for domination… in my body.

Dean looked up, wiped his lip with the back of his hand, smearing the blood that flowed there. And I watched him stop, his eyes narrowed as he stared at me… at the demon that wore me, because I could see his true face.

Zane, or Zadimus was now using me as a meat suit, and there was nothing I could do about it, at least… My body approached Dean, which was weird to watch when I was standing right beside him.  I twirled the spectrum blade in my hand, getting ready to strike but being oh so casual about it, and smiled as Dean stood straight and watched.

“Ali?”  Dean whispered and gave me the once over, before his face went angry and protective.  “Not Ali!” he growled and readied the demon blade. 

“Oh, Dean, please don’t kill me.” I whispered to myself, not that he could hear me because, yeah ghost, what was up with that?”

“You’re not going to use that, Winchester,” Zane’s voice gave mine just a little bit of that accent that I wasn’t positive of, but reminded me of Enzo from the Vampire Diaries. “You’re not going to hurt your precious girl.”

“What are you doing to her, you son of a bitch?”  Dean growled, and I stepped up closer to him. Reaching out, an action that I thought was useless, I touched his shoulder and suddenly his head snapped around, looking down at where my fingers rested on his shirt. His voice was just a faint whisper. “Ali?”

I gave him a squeeze, happy that he could feel me at least and his anger flared as he turned back to the body before him to the thing that possessed me. His eyes narrowed but I watched him lower the blade.

“I will exorcise your ass straight back to hell if you don’t get out of her right now!”  The demon just laughed at this statement, shook its head and continued to swing that blade.

“I’m not going to hurt her, Winchester, I need her.” The voice was annoying and grating on my nerves.

“Need her for what?”  Dean was either stalling or had completely ignored the whole conversation about the blades.  I was going with stalling.

“Really, you humans can’t all be that stupid.” It said exasperated, and rolled its eyes.  “She is the darkness, you know, the one that starts the end, the one that brings about everything. Your little piece is the light, guided by the angels, meant to keep her on this side of the table, however, you and I both know just how dangerous our little Alison can be.  That,” it pointed at the bodies that lay broken and bloodied on the floor, “that wasn’t all me, that was…actually except for the last body, that was all her.  All the work of your innocent little… what do you call her? Angel?  I’m thinking more demon but that’s just me honestly.”

“Man, you do like to hear yourself talk,” Dean huffed and rolled his eyes.  I trailed my hand down his arm, getting a little bit of a sideways glance from him as his focus went back to the thing in front of him.  “Is there a point to this little monologue because I’m gonna need Ali back, we’re going to need to get out of here?”

“No, no point really,” it was close enough now that all it had to do was swing and that blade would be in Dean.  I tugged back on his arm but he didn’t move. He stood his ground. Pigheaded man, but his focus was necessary to make sure he didn’t get stabbed.  “I just wanted to formally introduce myself, okay well informally.  My name is Zadimus, the one that Ali refers to as Zane, it’s just easier that way.”

“You could have come in your own suit, you didn’t need to hijack Ali.” Dean stated and braced his footing the closer that the demon got.

“Oh, but you don’t know just how fun it is to be inside her head,” it smiled, and it was just as evil of a smile as it could get before it was on top of Dean, the strength of it sending the man back against the wall. I was short but somehow Zane had him locked there, eye to eye, and the glowing orbs scanned over Dean’s face while the hand around his neck squeezed.  “You should hear the thoughts she’s has about you and your brother. Mmm, saucy little thing isn’t she?”

The demon closed the distance between them, its mouth a breath away from Dean’s who was breathing but struggling to do so.  I watched they eyes make contact and the demon tilt its head. 

Oh, God, please don’t kiss him.

The demon smiled, brushed its lips, my lips, against Dean’s and even in this form I felt the shiver.  CRAP.  I had to do something, but there was no way to know what when I had never been a detached spirit before.  The demon backed away and grinned as Dean held his eyes tightly closed.

“See, even you have those thoughts.”

“So, call me a typical guy, it happens.”  Dean snapped and struggled against the hand that held him.  “It doesn’t change what Ali is to me and I swore that I would protect her, now you can either get out of her or I can make you, your choice.”

“I think I might stick around inside for a bit, maybe head back to the motel, try out that moose of a brother of yours, before moving on, or maybe, I’ll just start with you.”

There was no way I was going to let that happen.  I raced forward, however spirits could race, and slammed into my own body, feeling the sudden pull as I was sucked back into my own flesh.  The warmth surrounded me, I let out feeling towards my fingers and willed them to release him as I tried to find the rest of my extremities but the one thing I did do was look him straight in the eyes as he stared down at me in shock.  I knew the glow was gone, I knew the light had faded and I pleaded up at him, my hand resting up against his chest.

“Dean.” My voice, the one without the crappy accent was weak and my grip faltered.

“Ali,” it came out as a whisper again and I watched the worry cross his forehead but I could also feel the pull from Zane again, he was coming back.

“Help me!” I begged and watched the conflict in his eyes as suddenly his arm swung up. The blow was powerful, quick and just like that my world went black.

~~~~~

When I was able to pick my head up, I instantly wished I hadn’t bothered, as the ache from where his fist had hit clouded my thoughts, until I was able to shake them out. I couldn’t move, couldn’t find a way off the chair that I knew I was sitting in and looked down at my wrists with a groan.  I was zip-tied to the chair, both ankles and both wrists and I could hear the pacing of well-worn boots not all that far away.

Raising my head fully, the worst idea ever by the way, I finally caught sight of him and was able to focus on the man who was tapping his palm with his phone.

“Dean?” was all I could seem to muster as he stopped dead and turned to look at me.  I could see the waver in his eyes, the question of did he run over and untie me or wait there for me to start with the demon act.  “Oh, my head!”

“You said help you, it was the fastest thing I could think of,” he gruffed, apparently not happy with his choice of ways to handle it but I blinked to keep my eyes open.

“You did what you had to,” I sighed and watched him get some validation out of it because he was suddenly in front of me.  My eyes followed as he crouched down before me, between my separated knees so that he could get in close enough, and his hand reached out to the bruising that was starting on my face.  “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He whispered, a bit confused as his fingers traced over the edge of my jaw and I winced at the feeling as he hit the spot that he had aimed for.  Hissing at the shock, I closed my eyes, but as he tried to move his hand away, I leaned in toward his fingers. 

“Don’t!” I pleaded, “the pain keeps me human.”

“I’m not going to go around knocking the crap out of you every time you think that assclown is taking over.”  Dean scolded, but I could hear the smile in his voice. His fingers slipped under my chin, raising it up just a bit. “Hey, don’t you go giving up on me now.”

“I don’t know if I can fight him,” I swallowed and opened my eyes enough to see the look of pain on his face, the loss in his eyes, “you have to help me.”

“I’m trying, Sweetheart, but I’m coming up a dead end.” He took a deep breath in, placed a hand on my knee and closed his eyes, as if trying to keep himself under control.  “How hell did he get in you anyway?  You have the tattoo.”

“I don’t know,” I felt week, my eyes started to drift closed but that was when it hit me.  “Call Jones!”

“Call who?”

“Jones, the hunter,” and that was all I could get out for an explanation.  Dean moved away, grabbed my backpack and quickly came back over.  I had tucked my phone inside, leaving the ringer on loud enough so that I could hear it through the material, and that was exactly what he dug out.  “Under the Ware Gun Shop.”

“This hunter owns a gun shop?”  he questioned, a classic Dean moment where instead of just going with “make the phone call, dummy,” he had to question everything. 

The ability to stay focused was fading fast and as Dean crouched down in front of me again, his hand instantly went to my thigh, resting his weight there to give me some comfort.  He flipped through my contacts and found the gun shop.  Once it started to ring, he switched it to speaker.

“Ware Gun Shop, Jones speaking.”  The older man’s voice came over the line.

“Jones, this, ah, this is Dean Winchester,” he answered a little unsure.

“Winchester, no shit! I meet your brother before he took off with my finest hunter, called me about some spell ingredients a few days ago. How is the little pain in my ass? Did it work, whatever it was?” I tried to smile at his unbreakable wit but even that was becoming too hard.

“We got a problem,” Dean’s eyes found mine as he put the phone down on my lap and used both hands to raise my head, trying hard to make eye contact.  “Her anti-possession isn’t working, she was a sock puppet for a demon not too long ago and we’re afraid it's coming back.”

“How the hell did that happen? We had those redone and infused with ritual protection magic when she first started hunting for me, I take her safety very seriously.” The old man grumbled, and I wanted to smile because he sounded just like Bobby. I heard him sigh. “Alright, Cupcake, where’s our girl now?”

I did smile this time when Dean straightened a little at being called Cupcake, but he just let out a sigh and went with it and replied. “Tied to a chair.”

“Good boy, smart move,” and I watched Dean roll his eyes. It wasn’t that Jones as intending to piss Dean off, it was just the way he spoke to everyone.  I heard the slamming of books in the background and the rustling of papers before there was a sign on the line.  “Okay, gonna sound strange but you got an EMF by chance?”

“Ah?” Dean looked around, trying to see if he could possibly come up with one but there was nothing electric besides our phones.

“Bag,” I managed to get out and licked my lips.  Yeah, the boy hit me hard enough that I was about to sink back into unconsciousness but I fought it tooth and nail.  Dean rummaged through the bag and I wanted to tell him that it was in the front zipper pocket but he found it all on his own.

“Yeah, got one, our little ghost hunter packs a mean to-go bag,” I heard the praise in Dean’s voice and my fingers twitched, bringing his attention to them. Dean ran a gentle hand on the trapped wrist and sighed. 

“She apparently learned it from you because I never taught her that,” Jones laughed.  “Okay, right, so this is what’s going to happen.  The tats keep the demon out, but that doesn’t mean angels can’t jump aboard, so that must be the way that our little mischief makers is doing it, using his angel half.  I guessing this is about Zadimus, he would be the only one strong enough to jack Ali with those wards on her.”

“Yeah, it was him.” The fingers on my arm never ceased their movements as Dean’s need for contact grew.  “What do we do about it?”

“Nothing you can do,” Jones sighed.

“What?” Dean was shocked but I figured it was something like that.  Zane was just too powerful to keep out.  “She said to call you for help, fat lot of good that did.”

“Now, listen boy, don’t go getting your panties in a twist, I didn’t say that there wasn’t something else you couldn’t try,” Jones snapped back and Dean’s hand flattened on mine.  “The thing with angels is they need permission or the soul needs to be gone.”

“I know all about angel lore, so give me something I can use.”

“Well, Ali ain’t dead, and she isn’t giving permission either, so he has to be pushing her out.” There was a sigh on the line and the sound of a book slamming.

“Pushing her out?”  Dean whispered and I could see him look at his arm through my fading vision.  “She touched me last time, when he was in her, she grabbed my arm.”

“Yeah, basically she becomes a detached soul.  Standing right next to you but you can’t see her, which is where the EMF gets involved.  Ali, if you can hear me, this is for you.  If he comes back, you jump on that bastard, you try to get him out of you but if you can’t, you light up that machine and let Bobby’s boy here know that you’re still kicking around.” 

Dean’s fingers curled into mine for just a second before he released his hold completely. “Bobby’s boy?”

“Son, you don’t get around this world without knowing the right people, and Bob Singer was one of the bests.  He talked about you and Sam all the time, I just never thought I would get a chance to tell you how proud he was of you, something he made me promise to do before he died.”  Dean was silent and I heard him take in a quick breath. “Enough of the boo-hoo princess stuff, back to business. Listen once she’s detached, you’re gonna have to make it fast. There’s an old Latin spell for just this sort of issue, but it’s not easy.”

“Tell me what I got to do, because I’m not letting this son of a bitch have her,” Dean growled protectively and I felt his lips on my head, gently pressing in as he let out a breath.

“Right,” Jones stated and cleared his throat, “this is what you’re going to need...”

And if that wasn’t the exact time that my eyes had decided they had enough, that my body had fought and lost, because that was the moment that my world went black, with Dean’s lips against me, his warmth washing over the darkness and Jones on the line to walk him through it.

~~~~~

What I remember next was not so much opening my eyes as it was coming into being, just awakening and suddenly I was there, like the darkness opened up and I was standing watching Dean pace back and forth before the “me” in the chair. His face was full of anger, but the demon just smiled at him.

I spotted the EMF on the counter, something that Dean always made his way back too before he turned and made another pass at the prisoner.  Yep, I had to get there.  My steps were silent but as soon as I got close enough to see it in full view the six red lights on the machine lit up like a Christmas tree.  I stood there, because Dean had figured out how to turn off the noise, so I had to wait for him to visibly see the light before I could move away again.

He stopped before the counter, looking at the contraption that was nothing more than wires, a motherboard, some LEDs and an antenna, I’m sure it was more than that, I never really asked but when it worked like a charm and was made by a sixteen-year-old, who was I to question just  _ how _ it worked.  Dean looked around, the fear evident in his eyes and I reached out, not stepping closer and ran my hand down his arm. Instantly his gaze turned down as if watching my hand glide over his shirt, and I watched his breathing increase. 

Letting my hand fall away, I watched as he steadied himself, squared his shoulders and turned back to the demon.

“She’s here, I can feel her, just like you can.” The demon smiled. “Did you feel the way she entered me, kicked me right out and why do you think that is? Hmm? Maybe I was getting to close to her deepest secret.”

“Shut up, you son of a bitch!”  Dean’s voice was even, and I watched as he made his way back to the table, snatching a little vial that looked awfully familiar from the wood before turning back to his pacing.

“You don’t want to hear just how hot she is for you?”  The demon smiled, “how she gets wet just by feeling your touch.  It’s a turn-on, you know, when you touch her, why do you think she leans into it, and then she uses it to go back to your brother.”

“I swear I will knock your ass out again if you don’t shut up!”  I moved towards him, away from the EMF and I watched his face drop, but I put both hands on his arm this time, hoping to God that he didn’t listen to the thing that occupied my body.  That twisted bastard was using our connection to get Dean going. I closed my eyes, hoping Dean wouldn’t listen, prayed he didn’t believe the lies.

“She wants you both,” it grinned, “at the same time. Can you imagine that? Your little angel wrapped between you and your brother,” Dean’s head snapped in its direction, even as I held onto him for dear life.  “I can feel her now,” it rubbed its legs together creating a heat that I could feel in this non-corporeal body, dammit, it was trying to get me worked up, but in my head, I could only see the images of Sam. Dean though, he wouldn’t know that.  “Yeah, she’s a little demon alright, wanting you both, lusting after your body, your touch.  What are you going to do about it Dean?  She’s right here, all tied up and at your mercy.”

“You Son of a…” Dean moved out of my reach, popped open the vial and splashed it down across its face. I screamed silently as the pain of it ripped through me, just as it did the demon.  That was when I knew, not matter what Dean did, I was in for a rough time.  The demon laughed as the potion burning the skin.

“No matter what you do to me, she feels it. Every ounce of pain, every punch, every word, she will feel it, so go ahead and do your worst.”  The demon laughed.

Dean started to recite whatever it was that Jones had given instructions for and instantly the heat spread through my chest, becoming a blinding white light of heat as the demon ground its teeth and smiled.

“Do you even know what you’re doing, Winchester? You’re going to kill her!”

“No, you bastard, I’m going to save her!”

He continued with the strange exorcism, not the same Rituale Romanum that we usually used, no this one was different and I could make out some of the words, something about angels banishing, something about demons succumbing but it only managed to make the pain worse and I fell to my knees. He had to stop, whatever it was, it wasn’t working and it was right, the demon, it was going to kill me.

I crawled over to towards the table as Dean’s voice grew deeper, firmer and forceful, unrelenting on the cause and it was all I had not to slip into the darkness again as the demon screamed in pain, but laughed at the same time. 

I reached up, pulled myself from the floor to stand by the EMF meter and reached for it, because if Dean could feel me touch him, I could manipulate that blasted machine.  I turned on the sound a little switch on the side and listen to it blare through the building like a fire drill, catching the demon by surprise, and Dean, as they both looked in the direction of it, but it was the demon’s reaction to it that got my attention.

It was in pain, actual pain, something that I wasn’t feeling. The noise, the frequency was doing something to the hold on it, and I wanted Dean to leave it on but he quickly grabbed it and brought it away from me.  The demon stopped and grinned as it moved against the restraints.

“You know, I could do so much worse to her than you ever did,” it laughed.  “I could do this!” And with that I watched the fingers on my right-hand fold backwards onto themselves, the pop and crunch of bone were accompanied by the agonizing feel of heat and pain and I went to my knees.  The brutality of it continued as each finger was twisted and snapped by an invisible force and darkness threatened again.

“I’m not going to let you have her!” Dean snapped and clenched his fist. He turned the EMF on and moved it until it connected with my energy and the noise blared through the place once more.

“I already have her!”  The demon laughed, still wincing in pain as it did the same torture to my other hand and I felt the lights flashing behind darkening eyes. 

I had to get to it, to make it stop.  Holding both hands against me, using just my strength in my legs, I pushed up and moved towards it. Running full speed, Dean let the machine blare again and the demon screamed.  That was my chance, that one point of weakness and I was inside my own body. I lifted my head, breathing in heavy as the real pain ripped through me, dulling the astral one in comparison. My blue eyes locked on Dean and his expression dropped.  He knew it was me.

“Dean, please,” I swallowed, breathing through the darkness, keeping myself awake, “stop.”

“Not a chance in hell, stopping means he gets you, Ali, and I’m not going to let that happen.” Dean answered and I could feel the demon rushing forward.  “I need you, Kid, and I’m not letting you go.”

“Then finish it,” I begged, “I can’t do this, I’m so tired.”

He was crouching in front of me once again, my face in his hands, the feel of his skin against mine was a saving grace, a grounding point and I opened my eyes to look at him.

“Don’t you dare give up on me!” He pleaded and watched my eyes. How could I say no to the way he begged, to all that emotion in them and I nodded, just slightly against his palms before I was torn from my body once again, a force that sent Dean back on his ass. I watched him look up at the demon, as I found myself laying on the concrete beside him. I was exhausted, the floor was hard and cold and it helped my overheated body. “Ali?”

I reached out for him, one hand on the cement and ran my fingers over the back of his until I felt him shiver.  He knew he was there.

“This had been so much fun, I can’t wait to do it again,” the demon grinned looking down at Dean with bright glowing eyes. “But know this one thing before I leave, Winchester, this isn’t the extent of my hold on her,” Dean’s eyes went big as he moved his hand, placing it in the exact spot where mine would be if I were physically there and he let the cool touch he felt go through him.  “And as much as you think I’d like her harmed, that’s not the case, because not only can I do this to her hands, I can do this to her body.” My eyes squinted as the light began to radiate from the demon, light that matched the power of an angel and as it began to burn through me, I felt no pain.  When it dimmed and Dean lowered an arm from his face, the damage done to my hands, the punch he had managed to land to knock me out, all were healed.  “Make a note of this, Winchester, Ali is mine, she will bring about the darkness and I will win!”

In a flash, I was back in my body, and fully awake. I picked my head up, looking around as I took in the fact that Dean was still sitting on his ass on the floor, his hand where mine was, one leg bent against the ground, one leg bent at the knee and he rested his elbow on it.

I struggled against the restraints as I looked at him with panic filled eyes and quickly he moved, grabbed a knife and snapped off the ties. Before I knew what was going on, I was in his arms, my own wrapped around his neck as I held on for everything I had.  One of his hands cupped the back of my neck and head, the other helped keep a damn good grip on me as he pulled me against him, his lips brazing kisses from my forehead to my cheek and back as he breathed with relief.

The banging sounds down the hall made him look up, took that warmth away from my face, and I could almost make out the distinct sounds of Danni’s boots hitting the steps as Sam’s large strides lead the way, and then they stopped. Dean didn’t let up on his hold, and I have no idea what the looks on their faces were but the fact that there was a chair, ties and bunch of occult items out hopefully gave them a hint of what had gone on because the man I held wasn’t letting go, evident only from the fact that he sighed and buried his head in my shoulder and hair once again.

I let my body go limp, letting him take my weight, and he welcomed it, as Sam’s footsteps suddenly came closer and a hand pressed against the small of my back, but would Danni understand what she had just walked in on, would she believe my story or would Dean have a lot of explaining to do.


	49. DH God Killers - Ch 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is how we deal with the aftermath of demons... I'm sure we could have handled it better, right?

**Chapter 16**

I wasn’t broken, or bruised or damaged in anyway, at least not on the outside, but the way that Sam looked at me as I sat on the edge of the bed told me that it didn’t matter, I had been. At some point between the time I disappeared and the time he found me, I had been one or all of those things, and it was weighing on his mind.

I didn’t want to talk about it, something that I had told them multiple times on the way back to the hotel, while Dean sat quiet in the front seat, glancing at me in the rearview while he drove the Impala in silence.  Dean didn’t want to talk about it either, in fact, Dean didn’t want to talk at all, and this was where we were at the moment. Me, sitting on the edge of the bed, Sam looking at me as if something had happened, though he didn’t know what, Dean pacing back and forth in front of the small table in the room, and Danni leaning against the door of the bathroom watching it all go down.

I laid back on the bed, toed my shoes off and moved up to the pillows.  Sam walked over slowly as I grabbed a pillow and tucked it under my head, laying on the side facing away from the pacing man. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to look at Dean, in fact it was quite the opposite, I needed to look at him, to make sure he was still there, to know that he wasn’t going to disappear, but I also knew that not talking was going to set Danni off in a way that I couldn’t deal with especially if I was staring at her man.

Sam crouched down on the floor beside the bed and brushed my hair back from my face.  I gave him a slight grin and winked at him.  He knew I was tired, sleep had been alluding me for days, but I know that he could see an emotional toll creeping into my eyes.  He leaned forward and kissed me softly, which made me reach out a hand and thread it through his hair. He sighed against me, as if this little contact took everything away but I knew underneath that it was just a bandage.

“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” He spoke softly and I looked into his eyes.

“Not hurt,” I smiled, “promise.”

“How did you get down there anyway?” Danni questioned, and I watched her eyes lock on Dean, but he didn’t move, his breathing, as I heard it from where I lay, never changed. “I mean one minute you’re in the house and the next you’re more than a mile away at an old warehouse?  If Cas hadn’t found you, what the hell would have happened? And mind explaining the chair and the ties?”

Again, the man behind me never said a word, but when she asked about the chair, my eyes were locked on something else, anything else.  Sam cleared his throat and my sights were instantly on his face as he stared at her with tight lips. He knew something had gone on, something that neither one of us was ready to commit to explaining, I mean, you would think eight dead bodies that they had to burn would have told enough of the story but…

“Just…drop it,” Dean growled, and I rolled over on the bed to see him glaring at not only Danni but Sam, “when it’s time, then you’ll know, but until then, please, just drop it.”

This reaction got the one I expected from Sam which was a little bit more concern for his brother, but I watched him shut off his emotions, making him do the only thing he knew how when Dean didn’t feel like “sharing”, he built a wall up to keep himself contained. 

In a late-night phone conversation, Sam had told me that it was his way of not getting angry, because he wasn’t sure that he would be able to control himself when he was angry and protective and Dean was the one he always needed to be there for, but Dean, well… sometimes the older brother just didn’t want it.  Sam had been looking up to him his whole life, trying to be in control like his brother, trying to make him proud, but there was one thing that Sam rarely had any control over, and that was what happened if Dean got hurt.

That was a whole other monster entirely.  A dark and dangerous Sam was one thing; a protective, younger brother was a beast and Dean knew it, so he shut it down as fast as he could.  The man beside me took my hand, kissed my fingers and rolled from the bed as I closed my eyes, but the problem was, as tired as I thought I might be, as exhausted as I should have been, sleep was something that basically told me to screw off.

“I’m going to get some food, none of us have eaten since breakfast,” Sam sighed and I listened to his footsteps stop by the door, I heard the clap of his hand down on his brother’s shoulder.  “Watch over her for me.”

It wasn’t that he needed to say it, because he knew Dean always would, it was his way of saying that his trust was still with the man no matter what he had walked in on, and I prayed above anything that it stayed that way, because what was coming next was nothing short of life altering.

~~~~~

The tension in the room hadn’t lessened any by the time Sam got back with burgers and drinks, and my stomach twisted at the smell of them but after some coaxing, and some threatening by the older of the two… something about eat or I’ll force you to… I choked down the burger and made my way back to the bed.  I sat there, pondering my own thoughts, visions of watching what the demon did flashed through my head and I shook myself from it.

Sam sat at the table, not too far away, just watching my reactions to everything, Danni and Dean ate in silence but I knew that at some point it was going to blow up, but I watched his hand reach out, gently caress the back of Danni’s for just a moment before Dean went back to what he was doing.  I cleared my throat, met Sam’s eyes and caught Dean’s attention.

“Where’s Cas?” I whispered softly and watched as the three of them exchanged looks, but no one answered.  I nodded, stood and made my way out the door into the early evening light.  I walked just past the end of the Charger, placed my hand against Baby’s tail end and looked up at the sky.  “Cas, if you can hear me, I need you.”

The shuffle of boot behind me told me that I wasn’t alone.  The way they fell told me it was Dean, and the two sets that had stopped beside the door told me that someone wasn’t going to be impressed.  I turned and looked at them, Dean’s brows furrowed with worry, Sam was unsure of what to do and Danni, she just locked onto Dean, uncertain of just about anything at that moment. I watched as Dean looked her over, the loving way his eyes held her but he was in pain, and he gave her a weary smile.

The flutter of wings behind me told me that my canvas-jacketed angel was standing right behind me and I closed my eyes, turned away from the three and looked up into his blue eyes.

“Ali, did the demon…” I raised my hand, stopping him quickly and rested it on his chest.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed and watched him stare at me, confused.  “I want you to do something for me.”

“Anything, you know that.”  But he had answered too quickly, did he really know that he could do what I wanted him too, did he honestly think that what I would ask of him was going to be something small and completely unimportant. I felt his hand cuff my elbow and the surge of light flowed through me. It made me think of Danni and what she might be able to do, but my mind had been made up.  “What is it?”

I turned, let my arm slip down in his grasp until I was holding his hand and I pulled him inside, past Dean, who I brushed lightly with my fingers, and Sam, who I leaned on for only a second, and Danni, who I gave a smile to, trying to look okay.  Once inside, I sat Cas down on the second bed in the room, the one we never used, and I sat down across from. 

His eyes scanned over me, seeing everything that the others couldn’t, the way the darkness seemed to flow through my veins, like Sam and his strange, clouded life force, and his lips turned down in a frown.  I leaned forward, not caring where the ones in the room were, and rested my elbows on my knees.

“I want you to shut it off.”  I whispered and watched him sit back a bit. 

“That’s not…” he started but came forward and closed the distance, screw the personal space.  “I would advise against that, Ali.”

“You’re not me, Cas, and this wouldn’t be the first time, but it needs to be stronger, I need it off.”  I sighed.

“You’re talking about your humanity, what good do you think that would do for you?”

“It would make it so that this bastard wouldn’t be able to manipulate me anymore.  If I can’t feel, if I have no sympathy for the devil, he can’t get to me,” I glanced over my shoulder, “he can’t get to them through me.”

“The issue isn’t shutting it off, Ali,” Cas warned, “it’s turning it back on. People have…” he paused, “people have turned it off and never come back from it, because it’s just too simple to live like that, soulless, uncaring.  What do you hope to gain from shutting it off beside escaping from a monster?”

“I’d like to keep my sanity.” I replied and reached out, touching his face with the palm of my hand and I opened my mind to him, I let him see everything that I did, start to finish and I let him feel all that was inside me, and everything the demon let out. I saw Cas sit back and close his eyes, and if an angel could turn a little green, he would have.

“I’m sorry, Ali, I can’t.” He replied softly, taking my hand from his face.  “Showing me that only made my resolve so much more. If you shut it off, if you go in that direction, there isn’t a way to save you.  At least this way, there’s a chance.”

“A chance,” I nodded, giving him a sarcastic smile, “Cas, you have no idea what I want to do, what my mind and the darkness is pushing me towards. There’s no saving anyone from that. There’s no saving anyone… at all.  It will bring me down, it will drag them down with me.”

“Ali,” Dean’s voice made me take a deep breath but I didn’t bother to look at him, he was just saying my name to see if it helped, to see if it calmed but it didn’t, it brought back the way he said it when I was detached, the heartbroken way he whispered my name when he thought he was pleading with me not to give up.

“Al,” Sam whispered, but I opened my eyes and stared at Cas.

“If you can’t switch it off, there is something else that I’m going to ask you to do,” my eyes filled with tears as I brought the other plan to the surface but this time I didn’t say it out loud, I just pressed my hand against him and let the thoughts flow, the feelings, the pain and when I backed away, I saw the loss in his eyes.  “Do you understand what I’m asking you do to?  If I can’t be saved, if this thing can’t be completely taken away, do you get what I need you to do?”

“Yes,” was his only answer and I breathed a sigh of relief. I moved my hand, brought my legs up onto the bed and laid back on the pillow. Cas sat there for a few minutes, his face full of uncertainty as he continued to glance over in my direction, but his focus was on his folded hands.

I let out a breath, looked away and listened to the flutter of wings as Cas disappeared from the room.

~~~~~

The sun was going down, another day wasted and no closer to where we needed to be to solve this issue, nowhere closer to finding closure, but I didn’t want to stay in the room, didn’t want feel Dean’s eyes on me, or hear Danni’s irritated sighs that he wasn’t talking. I could have stayed all day in Sam’s arms but even he seemed to be growing irritated with the silence and I had to move.

I walked past them as they sat at the table, slipping on a light jacket that I happened to grab, my spectrum tucked inside, all cleaned and sanitized, and I moved through the parking lot to the small liquor store across the way. A six pack of beer and a small bottle of their finest whipped vodka, Pinnacle, okay so not top shelf but it was what I wanted and was small enough to fit into my hand as I grasped the paper bag around it.

When I got back towards the car, Dean was standing against the pole just outside the room, hands stuffed in his pockets, Danni watched from the doorway and Sam just smiled at me as he came outside.  I walked up towards the older of the two brothers and put the pack in his hands.

“I think tonight, we’re both going to need this.” I smiled and saw him smile, shaking his head just a little bit, and turned to go in, but he stopped and leaned down, close enough so that all he had to do was whisper.

“Don’t leave like that again,” he growled and I wanted to laugh at him, to give him hell for thinking he could order me around but his fingers brushed mine lightly, “please.”

I nodded, agreeing to be in sight all the time and watched as he gave me a wink before headed inside, handing Sam a beer on his way out.  I looked at Danni, tried to catch her eyes, but the way she looked at me made me feel two feet tall.  With a sigh, I moved away in the direction of the Charger, and found myself leaning on the back bumper, taking swigs from the light blue bottle as Sam came to stand beside me.

“I’m not going to ask,” Sam whispered, his body pressed closed to mine so that our arms were touching as we both watched the sunset and I smiled up at him.

“I wasn’t going to tell,” I answered and watched as he nodded.

“Fair enough,” he sighed, taking a drink from the amber bottle, “but we’re going to talk about it at some point.”

“What part do we need to talk about?”  I asked, feeling the vodka burn its way down, “my disappearing, or the way you found me with your brother?”

Sam snapped around to look at me as I turned to watch the sunset. “I’ve never had a problem with you and Dean, Ali, you know that, why would you bring that up?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered, trying to shake the strange and angry thoughts from my head. “Maybe I expect you to be like Danni, maybe I expect the jealousy, but I keep forgetting who you are.”

“And who am I?”  He said with just a little bit of a grin, but the questioned made me swallow fast and the liquid went down just enough of the wrong way that it hit my stomach hard.  I looked up at him, saw the compassion in his eyes, even as they clouded with the darkness that was slowly fading in them.

“You’re Sam Freaking Winchester,” I said, with a raised brow, and he kissed me quickly, but his small grin faded.

“Ali, what the hell happened?” He whispered. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before the question just couldn’t be ignored.

“Zane,” I replied, clearing my throat, “Zane happened and he did some horrible things, and he said some horrible things, and that’s all I really want to say about it.  I just want this done, I want him to be out of my life so I can get on with ours.”

I felt his hand at the back of my neck, slipping under my hair and with a sigh, I let those fingers go to work, kneading out the knots that were bunching there, causing a headache.  He leaned down and kissed me on the temple, kept his lips there as he breathed in the scent of my shampoo, the smell of the body wash I used and I felt his lips turn up into a grin.

“Ours,” he hummed, “I really like the sound of that.”

“Me too,” I closed my eyes, enjoying the closeness, the serenity in the madness and I just let it wash over me at least for a little while, until the words I had uttered to Cas, the promise I made him swear to hold brought a tear to my eye.  I sniffled and leaned into him, taking another shot from the bottle in my hand. “So, what do we do now, what did you find out at the estate?”

“Nothing that wasn’t written in the brochures, which I’m guessing was a load of crap,” he sat back and looked around as the sky began to turn a beautiful shade of orange.  “What did you and Dean find? I mean where did you go that would make you end up in a place over a mile away?”

“There’s a tomb in the basement, miles of tunnels that run into and around the springs. The mirror, the brush, they were all objects from this place, but the names on the markers, they didn’t belong to anyone who lived in that house, who owned that house.” I sighed and concentrated on the details before the demons came. “There were other things missing, I mean you could make out the shapes of them in the dust.  They must have been down there for more than…” I paused and looked at him, “for too long, and the carvings on everything.  Hell-script, I know that for sure.  Sam, there were bodies down there, rotting bodies that… some were fresh, some were just so old.”

“This place has been around for a lot longer than we know of.  The tribes that moved on this land long before the buildings went up, they could have brought that here.”  Sam whispered, but it was just a theory, he didn’t really know anything else, he was just giving me something to think about.  “What are the names, do you remember them?”

“Not off the top of my head,” I sighed, of course nothing was coming to me, it was all so cloudy and I just wanted to sleep.  “We could go back, I mean, Dean and I know just where it is.”

“No,” Sam snapped but when I looked up at him, I listened to him sigh, “what I mean is, there isn’t any need for you to go back, I think you’ve been through enough at that house.”

“But what if it connects us to Zane?  And what about your father? Those papers that John left us, what if that house could help with decoding this whole thing?”  They were questions, ones that I wanted answers for, ones that I hoped I could answer, because Zane and John, and the blades, they were all still in the forefront of my mind. The 21 st was coming up fast and I still had no clue on how to stop a war that I knew almost nothing about.  “Some of us have to go back to that house, Sam, it’s just going to have to be that way.  I mean, we need to know.”

“Not at the cost of your life,” he turned towards me placed the beer on the lid of the trunk and took the bagged bottle from me, setting it beside the amber container.  He cupped my face with his hands, strong warm hands that I wanted to lean into, and he brought my chin up so I couldn’t help but look into those blue-green eyes.  “Nothing, you hear me, nothing is worth your life, your soul, Ali, and I will be the first to put myself in the way of anything that threatens that.” I watched the light in his eyes, the darkness that usually kept them cloudy faded into emotions that I was sure he didn’t really understand fully, but I could see them circling in his eyes, like the galaxy, and he smiled. “I can’t lose you, Ali, not again.”

“Oh, Sam,” I sighed, wanting so much to protect him, to tell him that everything was going to be alright. Me, protect this big badass hunter who had seen more pain in his lifetime than anyone should be allowed to, I needed to protect him, to keep him as much the man he was at that very moment, but I knew it was next to impossible to promise him anything. Not with what was coming, not with what was swarming around in my thoughts.  NOT with what Zane had done to me.  “I love you.”

~~~~~

I looked at my watch, glanced that the man in the doorway, looked at the watch and sighed as I leaned against the doorsill.  Dean stood on the opposite side, his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans, and both of us looked back towards the bathroom as the shower sprayed on.  I raised an eyebrow and turned back to stare into green eyes.

“You need to stop checking on me,” I whispered and looked out the door, seeing that the one to his own room was open, “I’m right through the wall, if I cough, you’re going to hear it.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized and then I saw it, the shift on his face, “you know what, I’m not sorry. What you went through, Al, what we went through, I can’t just brush that off and let it lie.”

“You’re gonna have to for now,” I reached out and let my fingers run down his bare forearm, where the shirt had been rolled up to his elbow and just that touch alone seemed have the desired effect, his whole body relaxed.  “You need to go to Danni, you need to talk to her.”

“I can’t tell her what happened,” he growled, “hell, I’d rather not think about it myself, so I sure as shit can’t explain to her that I watched him do that to you.”

“Keep your voice down, or you’re not going to have to tell her, the whole motel will know.”  I sighed and rubbed my hand over my forehead.  He reached up and grabbed my hand, and I watched as his thumbs rolled over my knuckles, looking for anything out of place. I smiled as I placed my other hand on top of his searching ones.  “Dean, there’s nothing there, it’s all healed.”

“Physically,” he grumbled, letting his thumb still move, “physically there is nothing there, but you can’t tell me you don’t see it still happening in your head.”

“Why do you think I asked Cas to shut it off,” I snapped and shook my head, “I don’t want to constantly see it when I close my eyes, Dean, but what Cas said… he’s right, if I shut it off, I don’t think I would want it back on, I was numb for way too long before and I remember the feeling, the fact that I didn’t care that I just didn’t care.  It’s too inviting.”

“Listen,” he slipped his hand out of mine, and placed it on my neck, his thumb moving over my cheek.  “If you need me, bang on the wall,” he sighed, “it’s not that I don’t think you’re going to be safe with Sammy, because my brother has a thing for you ten-miles long, but I just need to know that you’re safe.”

“It’s Sam, Dean, he’s not going to let me out of his sight, let alone allow anything to happen to me,” I smiled and listened to the lock flip on his door. “Go, talk to her, be with  _ her _ , you know I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” he sighed with frustration and leaned in, kissed my forehead for a long moment before letting me go.  I watched him take a deep breath, pull out the American Spirits stick that was in his shirt pocket and look at it for a moment before he put the tip of the filter in his mouth.  “Okay.”

With that he walked away, headed for the front of the Impala, where he took out the zippo and lit up the cigarette, something he hadn’t done in days.  I watched him inhale as he leaned against the grill, his eyes focused on the opening door just as I began to shut mine.  There was a small smile on his face as he saw her, and released the plumb of smoke from between his lips.

I closed the door, latched it shut and turned to see a naked Winchester standing in the doorway to the steaming bathroom.

“Wow,” I whispered and watched as Sam dried his hair with the towel.

“Dean?” he questioned and made his way towards the dresser, where he grabbed a clean pair of boxers.

“Ah, no, the wow was for you,” I grinned as I walked towards him and watched him roll his eyes.

“No, I mean was Dean at the door?” He smiled and licked his lips as I approached, his eyes looking over the fact that I had on a tank and a pair of boy shorts panties, not that I had even realized it when Dean knocked, but the older brother hadn’t seemed to notice either.

“Yeah, he was checking in,” I stopped just shy of him and bit down on the corner of my lip as I reached out towards his hips, tracing the line of his hipbone, watching the reaction his body was giving me as I stroked along the skin there. 

“You do have a phone,” he said with the bite of jealousy that I had expected to hear at some point in time, and I moved my hand to grasp him by the waist.  Going up on my toes, I leaned my head back, wanting a kiss but not asking for it. He seemed to get the picture as he dropped the towel and leaned in, kissing my lightly before backing away.  “He knows I’m right here, right?”

“He knows,” I watched him slip out of my grasp and move over towards the bed. Turning to follow him with my eyes as he sat down on the edge, I leaned back on the dresser.  “It’s just going to take him a bit to let it go.”

“What did he do that was so bad?” Sam shook his head. “There’s nothing in the world that I could picture Dean doing that would make him this possessive.”

“Protective,” I corrected and sighed, “and it wasn’t what he did, it’s what he couldn’t stop.”

Sam nodded, apparently, Dean not being able to prevent something from happening always took a major toll on him. 

“That sounds about right now that I think of it. He becomes a hovering lunatic that drives you mad.” He looked up at me and reached out a hand. I moved to meet his hand, felt him tug me too him and stood between his legs as his arms wrapped loosely around my waist. “He knows I’m here, and I get that. I also get Dean, I mean you watch someone for your whole life and you kinda pick up their patterns, so I know this isn’t going to be easy on him if it was something he couldn’t have done anything about.  He’s going to kick himself forever, or until it’s finished.”

I placed both hands against his cheeks, as he looked up at me, and smiled. “Nothing’s coming between us, Sam, not Dean, not Zane, not the end of the world as we know it, I will make damn sure of that.”

“Why is it that I totally believe you?” He teased as his hands moved, one spreading across my back, the other lower, across my cheeks, as he pulled me closer.  I leaned down, just a breath away from his lips.

“Hmm, crazy girlfriend, nutcase hunter… take your pick,” I laughed and he took a moment to think.

“I’m going to go with sexy as hell,” he replied and pulled me down onto his lap.

Oh, this was going to be fun!


	50. DH God Killers - Ch 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so start pushing... see what... who pushes back. Maybe things need to be out in the open.

**Chapter 17**

His muscles tightened along his abdomen, and his body shivered as I brushed my lips long the skin there.  Tasting him with my tongue, nipping just so slightly with my teeth, enough to leave small red marks along the dark line that disappeared down into the curled patch of hair. He moaned as I kissed him once again, my hands raking along his skin, tugging at the small point of his left nipple, which almost got a hiss from him.

I loved when he released his control, his hands grasping onto the blankets in order to keep from telling me what to do, from moving me in the direction he wanted, but I also feared it because the control I had over myself was slipping and the last person I ever wanted to hurt was Sam.

The rough cotton of his boxers had disappeared the moment I laid him back on the bed, but I let the textured material of my tank glide over the length of him, getting a reaction of a moan and the clenching of his teeth, like a pain/pleasure sensation and I knew he was getting to the point where he wasn’t going to be able to hold back from my teasing.

I could feel the darkness rising in me, the way that need to control took over and I knew there was nothing that I wouldn’t want to do to him, anything to make him moan and cry out.  I wanted that noise, I needed that response and I moved lower, kissing my way along the lines of his muscles.  My hand slipped under his hardened length, curling around it as I stroked upwards, and he gasped, the fingers on the sheets clenching, but as I ran my tongue over the top of it, his eyes flew open and one of his hands came down to my shoulder.

“Ali!” He groaned but I swirled around the tip, tasting him as he ground his teeth, trying to back into the bed, his hand came up under my arm, trying to pull away, still worried that he might do something he couldn’t take back but I glared up at him from under my lashes, looked at the shock in his eyes as I started to see the smoky red color of his veins and his head dropped back as I wrapped my lips around him. “I don’t want…”

“You won’t,” I whispered, just loud enough for him, taking him away from the warmth of my mouth long enough to reassure him, before I captured him once more. 

The “oh” that left him was as if he were in some sort of pain, mixed with something he didn’t quite understand and his hip bucked up against me just a little as I repositioned myself on my knees, steading against the movements I was about to make as I took him in more.  His hand gripped the back of my head and I quickly reached up and pulled it away, slapping it back down on the bed.  This was my treat, my playtime and I smiled as he quickly grabbed the blanket once again. 

Looking up at him, I could only see the underside of his chin, the way his head was thrown back as he squirmed under my touch, the pump of my hand combined with the way my mouth sucked at his taut skin. His hip bucked up, just as my lips came down and my teeth scraped his skin, getting a growl from him as I moved and did it again, this time I used my hand to press down on his hips, keeping him firmly anchored to the bed.

“Jesus, Ali!” He moaned and his hand left the comforter once more.  “You have to stop, or I’m done.”

“Umm-hmm,” I hummed against him, getting little more than a hiss as a response.

“I want to be inside you, I don’t want…” his protest stopped when my hand came up over the tip of him and my lips popped off. With a grin, I managed to remove my shirt, since the panties were already across the room and I positioned myself over him, watching the blood pump through him.  Sam watched as I held him up with one hand, slickened by my lips and slowly moved to draw him in, just the tip at first.  He threw his head back once more, his hands came up to grip my hips as I teased.  “Christ!”

This one made me laugh, more because the way he said it, but some because I was afraid it might have hurt to have the name said in my presence. At that moment, I really felt like a demon, and Sam was definitely on his way to the darkest sin.

I let him fill me, needing to be as close to him as I could and waited for just a second as my body adjusted to him, loving the feeling of being so intimately close, but I needed more and leaned down as he came up to meet my lips.

His kiss was demanding, just as his body became when I plunging down on him, we needed as much as we gave and the momentum sent us both into cries of passion, our bodies coating in the sweat of the motion as he gripped me around the waist and turned the tables, pinning me under him.  He pushed in with force, making me roll my eyes, those ones that I thought were as black as night but he seemed to never notice, no matter how much he stared into them, and that was his kink, he liked to watch my face.  He needed to see whatever he could about the way I reacted to him and what he was going now only got him replies of whimpers and want.

I reached behind him, grasping at the headboard with one hand as I took his other, threading our fingers together, but as I came off the headboard, wanting to take hold of that hair, the curtain of it that feel in his face, the way it clung to his forehead, soaked with sweat, the meat of my thumb came down on the tip of a nail, slicing through it.

“Ow,” I snapped, angry at the pain, but groaning because it only added to the pleasure he was inducing.

“Did I hurt you?” Sam asked quickly, meeting my eyes as I watched the blood begin to roll from the jagged cut.  “Ali?”

“Don’t stop!” I groaned as he slowed and I pushed up against him, taking him back to where I wanted him, deep inside, “it’s just a cut, it will stop.”

He made a noise, something between understanding and lust as he stared at my hand, and I could see the blood in him pumping faster, the way his heart raced as he stared and I could almost see the bloodlust in his eyes.

_ He’ll feed off your darkness.  _  Cas’ voice invaded my thoughts and at that very moment, I didn’t care, I wanted Sam’s darkness as much as he wanted mine and I brought my hand down, caught a drop of the blood on my lip and watched his eyes go dark, really, really dark before he caught my wrist and quickly brought the cut to his mouth.

The feeling of him thrusting inside me, pulsing against me and the way he sucked on the cut sent me so far over the edge, I saw stars behind my eyes but the low growl deep in his throat, as it vibrated against my skin, his teeth grazing the cut, made me scream out with pleasure. 

He backed away, thickening inside me and put his head back as he stiffened, releasing everything, buried deep and I smiled, one of satisfaction, one of pure pleasure, and one of evil intent because Sam was now truly mine.

He nearly collapsed on me as he released my hands, both of them and pressed his cheek against my chest.  I ran the uninjured hand through his hair, the smoky red vision slowly disappearing and looked at the cut, confused and annoyed that all I saw there was a faded pink coloring from the blood that Sam had left, and clear, untouched skin where the tear used to be.

What the hell was happening to me?

~~~~~

Sam slept peacefully beside me, I had dozed for at least a little while but then my body, full of adrenaline from the activities of the evening, had me sitting up in bed.  I had grabbed a tee-shirt from the bag, one of Sam’s and had slipped it on when I headed to the bathroom, but something had stopped me from lying back down next to him, like the flow of the energy in the room had become charged and I stared off into the darkness the thumb of my left hand gently caressing the unbroken skin of the right.

I heard the door open to the room beside me, heard the hushed whispers of an argument that spilled out into the night air.  Dean’s voice was remaining as calm as Dean could keep it, while Danni’s raised in aggravation.  I stood, slipping the sheet around me as I did, still pressing against the pad of my hand and walked towards the open window.  Thought the small crease in the shades, I could see Dean light up a cigarette and lean against Baby, before taking a long drag and a glance at our door.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about, Dean.” Danni sighed, and I imagined that she stood in the doorway, her arms crossed, “she’s been here for only a few days, yet our relationship has been turned upside down. You spend more time checking on her than you do talking to me.”

“That’s not…” Dean rubbed his brow with the back of his thumb, “I’m only checking on her because of what happened.  It wasn’t a walk in the park, Dan, it was traumatic, for both of us, and yeah, this is a change for us, for you and me, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you!”

“It doesn’t?” She snapped and shook her head. “Then stop touching her!”

“What the hell does touching her have to do with anything?”  Dean growled, apparently, I wasn’t the only one on the receiving end of this request.  “It’s not sexual, it’s not me wanting her, it’s just…”

“You need to do it, so you both keep telling me, and I get it…”

“Do you?” He questioned and shook his head, “cause I don’t get it, and neither does she, but we’re dealing with it and if you do get it and why, please explain it to me.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Danni sighed and stepped out to where I could see her, in tee-shirt and shorts and she took Dean’s shirt in her hands, tugging on his as he leaned down and kissed her softly, lovingly, an action that made me smile. “Look, I don’t know what I mean. I understand that you two have a connection. It’s just… I’m suddenly having to come to terms with sharing you with her.  This was supposed to be an easy cut and dry case, but it got turned upside down on its head and I don’t know where it went wrong, but suddenly she’s different and you’re different.”

“I’m not any different than I was before, Danni, I still love you, and I still love her and nothing is going to change that, but I don’t want her if that’s what keeps getting you so hyped. I wish you would understand that.”  Dean closed his eyes, flicked the cherry off his cigarettes and tilted his head back.  “I would tell you what happened, I really would, but what I want to do is forget it.”

“Was it that painful?”

“Have you ever seen someone that close to you tortured?”  Dean whispered, his eyes closed as he hung his head down, “hurt in a way that there was nothing you could do to fix, even if your tried? Yeah, it really was that painful.”

“I’m sorry,” she touched his face, and I watched the strange line of light that trailed after her finger, inside me some jealous streak emerged, making the colors that surrounded them turn to a smoky red and I shook my head to clear it out.  Jealous over Dean and Danni, no way! That wasn’t going to be me.  “I know it’s pushing the envelope, but I wish either of you would trust me enough to confide in me what went on.”

Dean took her hand from his cheek and held it tightly in his own as he looked into her eyes and kissed the open palm of her hand, “you know me, Danni, you know this doesn’t come easy enough on a good day, so you have to understand that I just can’t.”

“What did she ask Cas to do to her?”  Dean picked up his head and looked up at the sky.

“Probably something I’m going to be totally pissed off about, but honestly, I haven’t got a clue,” he answered and looked down at her.  “You should ask her, maybe if you have a conversation with her, instead of trying to get her to admit feelings for me that she doesn’t have, maybe she’ll tell you what’s going on.”

“I haven’t done that,” Danni snapped.

“You’ve done it since she stepped in the door, Dan,” he took a drag of the cigarette before putting it out on the bottom of his boot. 

“You’re defending her again.” He stopped as he headed for the door and turned back to her as she crossed her arms and watched Dean shake his head.

“You know, I’m not that  _ guy _ , right?”  he questioned, apparently, it was something he needed to get off his chest.  “I’m not that BS actor on your TV show.  You’ve known who I was from the jump, yet you keep thinking I’m  _ him _ , all brotherly love and family loyalty, and I am. I get we have some similarities but this isn’t some chick flick, not everything is going to turn out pretty, or end on a grand note like the episodes. This is real life, Danni, and Ali and I have been this way from the get go, long before  _ this, _ ” his fingers pointed back and forth between them, “happened, and don’t get me wrong, I am so glad we’re together, but I will protect her with my life, just like I would yours. I just can’t do what you are begging me so adamantly to do, and I won’t.”

“So, you’re picking her over me?”

“No!” he growled, “I’m not picking either of you, that’s the point!  I won’t lose you to this… this whatever the hell “end of the world” crap is going down, but I’m not going to lose her either.  You either have to learn to deal with what she and I have or not.”

“Fine,” she whispered softly, and shook her head.  “If you swear there isn’t anything romantically going on between the two of you, then I believe you. If you tell me that all you’re doing is protecting her, than I get it and I’ll drop it,” she walked up to him and sighed, “but when this is done, it’s you and me, or it’s just… over.”

Danni walked through the door, disappearing from sight as Dean looked up and towards the window, as if he could see me from between the blinds and he sighed, shook his head and tossed the butt out into the parking lot. He took a deep breath, still staring there, licked his lips as if debating and turned to go inside.  

I felt the light touch of a hand down the naked curve of my spine and turned to see Sam standing behind me.  Holding the sheet up with one hand, I ran the other down his chest and slipped it around his waist as he looked down at me, his hair drifting down into his eyes.

“Come back to bed,” he sighed, but there was a demanding tone to it and I couldn’t help but curl my lips up in a smile, before slipping past him, the hand on his waist running along his bare stomach as he sucked in a quick breath at the feeling and followed.

~~~~~

I heard birds outside the window as the sun started to peek through the heavy blinds and my eyelids fluttered.  I swear there was not enough time in the day to sleep but I was happy that I had slept at all.  With Sam beside me, after beckoning me to bed once again, another round of adrenaline inducing horseplay, my body finally gave out and gave into the sleep it desperately needed.

But that wasn’t what woke me up, not the bird or the sun.  It was the sound of the slamming of a car door.  Curious, I grabbed my jeans and tugged them on before finding my bra, which was somewhere thrown around the room and finally stepped out into the crisp morning air barefoot and hugging myself. 

Danni was rummaging around in the trunk of the Impala, which was curious to see at all but it was the lack of Dean, despite the banging that really got my attention.

“What are you doing?”  I yawned and watched her pivot in my direction, completely taken by surprise.

“Getting some hunting stuff ready,” she replied and I watched as she stuffed things in her pack.  Okay, so that made sense, but it was just about six am and where the hell was she going hunting that early in the morning?

“Without Dean?”  I coaxed.

“No, he’s getting coffee,” she answered, almost as if she didn’t want to and put her hands on Baby’s tail end, before she looked back at me. “You done with the twenty questions?”

“I only counted two, want me to go for eighteen more?”  I smiled, which I meant jokingly but watched her turn and lean against the back of the car.  Her face told me she wasn’t in a joking mood and I shrugged. “So, you’re hunting, where too?”

“We’re going to go back to the house, figured if we did it early enough we wouldn’t get caught, and we didn’t tell you and Sam because Dean is insistent that you don’t need to step back in that place again…  _ ever _ !”

“Fair enough,” I shrugged and turned to leave.

“You owe me,” she whispered and this made me stop. I closed my eyes, not enough time awake and no coffee, this probably wasn’t going to be good but I turned back to her anyway, trying to rub the already forming headache from my skull.

“What exactly do I owe you?”  I questioned.

“An explanation.”

“Gee, that wasn’t at all expected!”  I growled and stepped away, closing the door behind me as I stood on the concrete with bare feet.  “Please tell me, which part of my life do I owe you an explanation for this time?” I didn’t even want to wait for her to answer as I stuck my hands in my pockets and pursed my lips. “Let me guess, the way that you two walked in on Dean and I, why did we leave with each other to begin with, why the hell didn’t we tell anyone? Getting close?”

Danni’s eyes narrowed and me and as I expected, I got the exact response I was looking for. “Pretty much.”

“Fine,” I took a deep breath, because right at that moment, reliving that God-awful thing wasn’t bothering me, though it might afterwards. “I followed Dean, he didn’t make me go with him, he didn’t want me to go with him!  In fact, I was trying to avoid him at all costs, but that didn’t happen.  We ended up in the tunnels, we found crap, and we tried to call from the caverns but there was no cell service, you know being that we were God only knows how many feet below the surface of the building, the lawn, etcetera.”

I continued to step closer to her, seeing the thumping of her jugular against her throat, but I kept my arms crossed.  “And what you walked in on, at the warehouse, what you are so so curious about, was Dean, comforting me, after a _ freaking  _ demon tortured me, kicked me out of my own body, broke both my hands, tried to kill my soul!” I growled, feeling the anger rise in me as my own heart started to race, “what you saw was a man holding onto someone he thought he had to kill in order to save because the bastard wouldn’t let go, and if this all should like a bunch of bullcrap to you, sweetheart, call Jones, because he gave Dean the spell to send that son of a bitch packing.” 

I stopped within a foot of her, close enough so she could see the blackness cascade over my eyes, so I could see the light flash in hers. “You think this is all been peaches and cream, but Danni, you don’t know anything.”

“HEY!”  Dean yelled and put the tray of coffees on the hood of the Charger, making a move to step between us.  “Hey, easy there!”  He told me, grabbing me by both my arms as he backed me away.  “Come on, Kid, take a few deep breaths.”

“What’s going on?”  Sam questioned as the door opened and Dean looked up from me to Sam, then back at Danni.

“Wish I knew,” he sighed and slowly released me, his hands replaced by Sam’s in an unspoken attempt to keep me under control.

“It broke your hands?”  Danni whispered and Dean spun around to look at the paleness of her face, before he turned back to me.

“You told her?” He questioned and slowly I raised my eyes to meet his.

“Not everything, but enough so that she got the point,”

“What point was that?”  Dean snapped.

“When I say I don’t want to talk about it,” I hissed through clenched teeth, “I mean it!” 

I shrugged off Sam’s hands and headed back into the room, Dean followed close behind and grabbed my hand with his. I turned swinging, wanting to land a punch but all I saw when I looked at him was the smoky color that surrounded him.  I could see inside him, all of his veins, his structure, and I felt my lips curl up in a grin.  

“Ali, you need to take a breath and calm down. Don’t let this thing take you!”  He snapped and I blinked, listening to the sound of his voice.  Sam was beside me, his smell flowing into me, taking over and between the touch of one brother and the scent of the other, I could feel the darkness fading until I looked just past Dean to where Danni stood, looking shocked and horrified.

“I need to leave,” I responded, the pain of everything I had caused welled up in my eyes and I could feel the wetness rolling down my cheeks, “Cas was right, you all need to be protected,” I shook my head, taking a second to look at each of them, “from me.”

“That’s not true,” Sam whispered, his hand came around to touch my face, and I looked up at him, knowing that whatever was happening to my eyes whenever it took over had faded.  “We just have to work on getting rid of whatever is in you, but Ali, we don’t need to be protected from you, we need to protect you.”

“I’m not a job!”  I snapped and moved out of their reach, as I backed up further into the room. “This is how it started, the four of us, I was a job, and I refuse to be one again.”

“You were never a job, Ali,” Dean whispered, frustrated.

“No, I was family,” I sassed and shook my head, “but, Dean, I’ve always been a monster.”

“Stop!”  Danni spoke up, “stop right now and cut the crap, Ali, this isn’t you talking.”

“Then it wasn’t you earlier as well, asking me why I was doing things,” I smiled and shook my head, “no, it’s this place, this prophecy.”

“So, let’s get down to the bottom of it,” Dean rubbed his forehead.  “Danni and I will go back to the house and look deeper into what we found, you and Sam,” he looked from his brother to me, stepping closer, but I stepped back, “Ali, you and Sam do what you can here, there had got to be some more history on this place, on those blades.”

“Fine,” I whispered and placed my hands on my hips as I steadied myself while Dean approached, reached out and cupped the back of my head. 

I closed my eyes as his lips touched the skin of my forehead and tried to stay relaxed even though the sandpaper feeling had returned.  He backed away slowly, looked at the pain on my face and I could see the confusion in his eyes.  Dean sighed, turned and walked past his brother and Danni.

I heard the roar of the Impala and let out a breath, the further away Dean was at that moment, the better things would be. At least I hoped.

~~~~~

Sam and I sat at one of the small tables outside a café on Main street in Old Town once again, this time I had slipped on a pair of sunglasses to hide the darkening purple under my eyes and to help block out the painful glare of the sun. In front of him were the papers from John and his laptop, while in front of me was an untouched coffee.

“Huh,” he murmured.

“You realize that is probably my least favorite word in the entire English language,” I said and sighed, hoping that came out a little less grumpy than it sounded but his looked up over the top of the computer at me, gave me a small smile and shook his head.

“Maybe you should have another cup,” he teased and looked at the one that sat there untouched.  “Or start with your first.”

“I’m sorry, Sam,” I sighed and ran my fingers over the back of his hand, “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I’m not thirsty, and the coffee doesn’t do anything for me.  Just tell me when I’m being a bitch and I’ll shut up.”

“You, shut up?” He laughed, snickered actually which made me smile. “Yeah, hell would have frozen over by that time, so I have a better chance of roasting a marshmallow over Lucifer’s charred remains.”

“Oh, you’re such a comedian!” I rolled my eyes.  “What did you find?”

“The papers that Dad left are basically a spell, or the way the blades were originally forged,” Sam whispered, scooting his chair closer so he could show me the old writing on the parchment. “Mimosa, Cedar, everything that was used in the making of the blades has magical properties.  They really are god killers, even the Latin etched on them is a spell, “protector of good, destroyer of evil,” but that’s not what got me.”

“Oh, so all that useless information didn’t peak your interest?” I smiled and watched as he gave me a wink, knowing that I was teasing.

“What got me was what was written under all of this “useless” information, and it took me a while to figure it out because it’s not just Latin, it’s Archaic Latin, which dates back to 75 BC if not earlier, which is what took me so long to decipher it.  This wasn’t written by the same people who did the blade work, this was written by someone much, much older.”

“Who?” I questioned and watched as he shook his head.

“That’s a good question,” he sighed.

“So, give me the bad news, what does it say?”

“Well, that “protector of good” isn’t just the spell, it talks about the person who holds the light inside, and that the “destroyer of evil” talks about…”

“Wait, let me guess, the one with the darkness.”  I sat back in the chair and sighed, “wonderful!” I touched the paper right next to his fingers and leaned in. “Okay, I don’t know Archaic Latin, but I’m pretty sure this word is vibration.”

“It is actually,” he smiled and kissed my head as I leaned in closer.  “It says that when the darkness finds the blades, the vibration that it gives off will basically be irresistible to them. They won’t be able to deny the pull.”

“So, the blades will own me?” 

“No, from what I can tell, it just means that you have to be the one that finds them, wherever they’re hiding, the power will draw them to you.” Sam shrugged and I felt his hand come around to grip my waist as his lips danced along my temple. “This thing won’t own you, Ali, we won’t let it.”

“I keep telling myself that too,” I sighed and leaned into his touch. 

The cell on the table vibrated and Sam snatched it up before removing his lips from any part of me.  I sat back and watched the strange, confused look on his face.  Placing the phone to his ear, he said the one thing I had hoped he wouldn’t.

“Dean?”  My eyes closed as dread struck me and the panic inside washed over me.  “Okay,” he sat forward, shutting down the computer, “dude, you have to calm down!”  I could sense his panic and helped him start packing things up as the two of us dashed for the car.  “NO! Dean! Seriously, just wait there, we’re coming!”  Sam tossed everything less than gently into the trunk of the Charger and revved the engine as we closed the doors.  “Now, Dean! We’re coming now!” He tossed the phone down on the seat and turned to look at me, as he caught his breath.  “Danni’s missing.”


	51. DH God Killers - Ch 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're given a choice, at least you think it's a choice, when in the end, it's really just fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I can't believe how strong this story is going, you guys are keeping it sailing right along, good thing I can keep up. ANYWAY, leave a question, comment, concern, review...wanna kick my ass, that's fine too, I'm a big girl, I can take it.

**Chapter 18**

Dean was standing outside the warehouse, the same one that we had been attacked in before with the demons and when Sam pulled the car up beside the Impala, I watched him grab the shotgun from the car. 

Stepping out into the empty gravel lot, Sam and I both looked around.

“Yeah,” Dean snarled, “this place again. I’m about ready to burn it to the ground!”

“How did she go missing?” Sam questioned, watching Dean give him the stink-eye.

“Something nailed me on the back of the head,” he stated sorely as if his pride was hurt because he had been snuck up on. “But I think I got a beat on which way they took her.  This place is massive and I can’t go it alone.”

“Okay, Macho Man, you really think we would have let you do it all by yourself?” I growled, pulling the Walther out of the back of my jeans to check the clip before taking the extra ones he handed me from the back of the Impala.

“Ha, ha, pain in the ass!” He snapped and Sam just rolled his eyes. “Let’s go.”

~~~~~

The plan was simple, get in, get up, grab her and go, but as I had said before, even the most well-laid plans can go sideways, this one went straight down.

It started pretty simple, first floor, clear. Second floor, also clear, third floor, not so much.  Demons attacked from every direction, separating me from the boys as I ducked down the hall to avoid being slaughtered, but it seemed to take me just where I needed to go, which was back down towards the basement.

Before me stood the double doors of a room deep in the bowels of hell, or the basement floor, I wasn’t sure which, but I knew one thing, this was a completely different part of the building then where Dean and I had our encounter with Zane.

I snuck around the corner, footsteps as silent as I could get them, and found myself in the entrance of a large room.  For a moment I stopped, I knew what this was, there was no way around it.  It was a trap, but then again, there was always something that trumped my sense of logic when it came to do I go in or do I just hang back until the boys got there.  That something was Danni.  I could see her from where I stood, tied to one of the support beams in the middle of the room.

Ugh, there was one thing that I hated worse than vampires, more freaking demons!

Following along the line of the shadows, okay, so I followed the wall more since the whole place was covered in shadows.  You know, that creepy old warehouse vibe, but wall I followed was a clear path straight to Danni, yet again, probably another trap. 

Looking around, listening, the only thing I could hear was the sound of her breathing, a little heavy, a little fast and I knew she was in some kind of pain.  I stepped out of the darkness, and caught the glimmer of something just off to the right of me.  Damn my attention span, never gives me anything good to be distracted by at the right time, but the shine in the darkness seemed to really capture it and there was no way to let it go, I could feel it calling me.

A half dozen steps, maybe just a little more and I was standing beside the table, looking down at two blades, two very familiar and very real blades.  I remember what I had read about them, what Sam had just told me about them.  Forged in the fires laced with red cedar and mimosa, powerful trees with magical properties, inlaid with silver, blessed with Holy Oil, Sage and Myrrh, spelled with ancient magic and the Latin words:  _ deus interfectorem, neque sanctiores malum, protector bonorum. _

The  _ God Killer _ blades.

And they were vibrating with power, calling me to them.

Something that was supposed to be a myth, something pulled right out of our history, was sitting there before me and all I had to do is reach out and grab it.  I would have thought about it for a moment, I should have really thought about it, especially with the darkness that flowed through me, but the noise on the other side of the room had me tucking the twin custom blades down the inside of my boots and they became almost instantly forgotten. 

They didn’t seem to weigh a thing, and the warmth of them against my calf seemed almost natural, but they were not in the forefront of my thoughts, Danni was, and I quickly made my way over, flipping out the small blade on my pocket knife as I knelt behind her and started in at the ropes.  I heard her moan softly and her head tilted to the side.

“It’s a trap, Ali?”  she whispered weakly, our earlier argument forgotten

“Yeah, I would have never guessed that,” I smiled and continued to cut at the thick rope that bound her there.

“What are you doing here?  Where are the boys?”

“They’re coming, don’t get your panties in a knot,” I grunted as the blade finally slipped through the material and I unraveled it from her wrists.  Once she was free, I moved to crouch in front of her, checking out the bruises and cuts on her face.  “What the hell did you do?”

“It was an ambush,” she moaned as I took her hands in mine, careful to avoid the deep red marks on her wrists as I pulled her to her feet and let her lean back against the post.  “Just outside the door.”

“Remind me to never to let you go anywhere with Dean ever again, let alone some dank, dark basement with some creepy ass tomb,” I sighed, looking over her shirt to see if there might be any blood leaking from spots that there shouldn’t be holes.

“How did you know where I was?” 

“Man,” I smiled up as I looked into her blue eyes, “for someone who just took an ass whooping, you sure are full of a lot of questions.”  I slid one arm around my shoulder and moved to see if she could hold her own balance.  She was a little unsteady at first but managed to stay up as I grabbed her by the waist of her jeans for extra support. “Add never to save your ass from demons again to that list too.”

“Why’s that?”  Danni laughed and I stopped just for a second to look up at her.

“I got mud on my brand-new ass-kicking boots!”  I explained as if she should have known that, and watched her roll her eyes in annoyance before taking a step forward again. “Besides, they pick the crappiest places to hide and you know how much I hate warehouses.” A noise behind us had us stopping in our tracks and both Danni and I turned to look at the figures that seemed to appear from the shadows. Slipping my gun from the back of my jeans, I handed it off to Danni before reaching down into my boot to grab the new toy I had picked up. “Did I mention how much I hated demons?”

“About fifty times in the last few days,” she answered and looked down at the blade in my hand.  “Nice knife.”

“Yeah?”  I smiled, brought it up to admire it and grabbed the other one with my free hand, before handing it towards her. “It was a buy-one-get-one sale, so I picked you up one too.”  Danni rolled her eyes, held the gun with her right hand and took the blade in her left.  I could see on her face that she was impressed by the feel of it, which to me was completely natural and almost light as a feather in my palm.  “Now don’t go losing it, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a collector’s item.”

“How can you joke at a time like this?”  She questioned sarcastically and all I could do was grin as the six men and women, because you know they’re all just meat suits, approached.  “Split it right down the middle or wanna flip for the gender?”

“I’m an equal opportunity ganker, Dan, you should know that by now, gender equality and all that happy crap.” I replied and winked.

“Where the hell are the boys?”  I flipped the knife handle in my palm, angled myself so my back was to Danni, my right foot out front, and she did the same, but with the left, protecting our backs.

“They’re coming, Sam probably lost his shoe and Dean, well, he has a habit of getting caught up in all the excitement, so a game of rock/paper/scissors to see which one is going to go first was probably in order.”  I joked but I could feel the adrenaline kicking in.  “Waiting sucks.”

“Well, then, your move or theirs, sis, take your pick.”  She smiled.  Yeah, she loved this as much as I did, ass kicked or not. 

“Since you were so gracious to give me that option,” I winked, “mine first.”

I watched them advance, took the small gun from the inside of my boot and raised it up, cocked back the hammer and let that baby fire.  I watched the bullet enter a big man’s shoulder and he swayed but kept coming.

“Well, that was a bit anticlimactic.” I groaned and watched as Danni smiled.  Looking at the gun, I shook my head. “Forgot to change out the witch killing ones with Devil’s traps.”

“See what you get for letting Sam distract you?”  Danni laughed, but she raised my Walther and quickly let a shot off at the same demon and we watched it stop in its tracks. “At least your main one was loaded right.”

“Well, how about that, sometimes I surprise even me.”  I stated and took a deep breath, the other five decided that playtime was over and rushed at us.

It was, per usual, like a dance but with subtle little movements that were meant to throw you off your game, like when that one demon moved the way you didn’t expect and suddenly you’re sucker punched. But then it’s right back into step where you can lash out and stick it to the same bastard that hurt you.  Yeah this was going on and on, but there didn’t seem to be an end to it.  The blades, though in theory should have been turning the demons’ inside to dust, weren’t doing anything but acting as if I was poking a dead thing with a stick.

I had finally gotten one to stay down, but that might be because the blade slit its throat on kind of accident, okay, totally on purpose, but it just seemed to piss off the others, and it wasn’t until I heard the loud crash behind me, that I was able to whirl around and see Danni up against the wall, my gun and her blade by her side.  The demons that had been harassing her finally got the jump and she was trying her damnedest to hold onto consciousness again.

I should have left her sitting on by the post, she should have never been fighting.  Anger welled up in me and I turned towards the five that began to surround me. This was far from done and there was no way that I was letting them win. 

They advanced all at once and all I remember was a blur of actions, swings of my arms, the knife catching and releasing as it made contact with the bodies that surrounded me.  They got their hits in, don’t get me wrong, but there were no weapons involved, which made me question exactly what was going on, until of course, that one little slip-up where I found my leg swept out from under me and I was lying flat on my back, looking up at five angry black-eyed assholes.

I took a deep breath, judged the distance between me and the gun and found myself totally screwed.  Letting it out, I looked up and prayed that the boys arrived soon, because I could use an ass saving right at that point, so if you believe in the power of positive thinking, you know what happened next.

I watched as they were tossed, one by one, picked up, necks snapped and dusted by an invisible force that seemed to come out of nowhere.  The last one standing made a move towards me, reached down and grabbed my shirt, bringing me up towards him, (big brutish guy by the way) and he could have easily thrown me across the room, but he just snarled at me before his head did this creepy quick twist and I heard the bones snap.

His hand went limp, dropping me to the floor again, and I rolled quickly to my feet.  Danni let out a little noise and my eyes darted from her to the direction she was looking.  There, coming out of the shadows was a tall man, shorter than Sam but taller than Dean by only inches.  I recognized the way his body moved, the stance he took on the edge of the darkness and my memory flashed back to the river’s edge, as he reached out and kissed me on the forehead.

“John,” I swallowed.

“Asmodeus,” he corrected.  Okay, demon in a Dad suit, totally keep forgetting that part.  “I see you got my presents.” I looked down at the blade in my hand and looked up at him questioningly. “Beautiful, aren’t they?  I made them myself, you know.”

“Why?”  I’m not sure if it was a question of him giving it to us or him making it, but either way it made him smile.

“Because, you’re the only ones that can carry them.  They’re God Killers, Ali, they can destroy anything evil that you come across.”

“Fat lot of good it did with these six!” I growled. “It was like I was stabbing them with a barbeque skewer.”

“They have to be activated,” he laughed, and suddenly he was less than three feet from me and I took a step back, steadying myself.  “They have to kill a god to become God killers, child.”

“I’m not two, John, I know the stories.”  I rolled my eyes and looked over at Danni.  “Why do we need them?  I mean, why us?”

“You know your family line, Alison, you surely have made the connection by now.” I watched that familiar Winchester smile cross his face and I felt my body shiver.  This was their dad, this was John Winchester, but the power that flowed through him was pure evil. “Zadimus is an abomination, one that is skillful and deadly.”

“Yeah, I got that when he managed to take over the mind of an angel.”  I snapped, thinking about Cas and the way that he had all but tried to beat Dean to death…again, but I swallowed back my anger and looked at him with hatred.  “What does the blades have to do with us and Zadimus?”

“Shall I tell you a story?”  He closed the space between us, as if it were a secret and I found myself looking up at his height.

“Only if you think you need to stall for the boys to arrive.”

“They won’t make it in time to change anything that really matters,” he answered as if he knew something that I didn’t.  “So our tale begins a long, long time ago with an angel and a demon.”

“You know, I think I’ve heard this one before…”

“Hush,” he said softly but I had no choice but to listen, as he raised a finger, the grip on my blade tightened.  “The land here was just being settled by the colonists, and two, young, supple humans walked into a field.  They thought it was serene and beautiful, but they didn’t know they had stepped into the middle of a battle.  You see the angel and the demon were hashing out some differences, but not the kind that you would find in the war between heaven and hell, no this was a lover’s spat, and the two humans were just what they needed.”

“You used them?”  I whispered as my mind painted a very vivid picture of a bloody fight between the two but I heard John laugh, a full bodied, soulful laugh which had my eyes locked on his.

“Not in the way that you were just thinking.  You see, our forms were not like the ones you see today. Castiel said you could never look at his true form, the same goes for a Prince of Hell, it would burn you, and not just your eyes.” I knew it, damn it, Asmodeus was the last of the Princes, the last of Lucifer’s creations but I had hoped that our new foe had nothing to do with that old storyline.  “The coupling of an angel and a demon was always thought to be something that just could never happen, an offspring of that power was nothing either side ever wanted, but what do they say, “accidents happen”? A child was born, a very powerful child, given away to a family who would love and care for it, one that never knew where it had originally come from, of its origins.”

“So Zadimus is a hybrid of an angel and a demon, of a Prince of Hell and an angel?  What angel?” I questioned and watched him smile.

“It matters not, he’s dead.” I felt my face drop at this.  _ HE’S _ dead?  _ HE _ ? 

Swallowing hard, trying to take in all of this information was pretty well straining my brain as I shook off the thoughts of who it might have been. An archangel?  I mean who else would be powerful enough to take on a Prince?

“Okay,” I drew in a shaky breath, “what the hell does this have to do with me and Danni, and these damn blades?”

“Well, when you’re… used… for a lack of a better term, by either side, some of it remains with you, and with the two of them, it carried those traits down the line.  Some angel grace, some demon’s darkness. Her grandmother,” he whispered and grinned at Danni before turning back to me, “and your grandfather.”

“Oh God,” I sighed and knew just who the couple was that he had been referring to. “They were brother and sister.” Lost in thought of the whole scenario, I felt myself shake as I finally looked up at him as a wave of disgust flashed through me, “eww!”

John smiled, grinned from ear to ear at the reaction that I gave him and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Do you see now why the blades are meant for you?  The last of the descendants, the last of the line.”

“I have children, John.” I reminded him but he shrugged.

“They aren’t pure, they aren’t what you would call full circle.”

“That’s right, somewhere close to the end of the line, Danni’s family tree and mine crossed again.”  That little sly grin on his lips grew again.  How the hell could it get any bigger?  “Okay, so last PURE descendants, got it! But still, exactly how are these things activated?”

“It’s simple really,” he stepped closer, my grip grew tighter, and he leaned down so that he could whisper between us.  “You need to kill me.”

“Okay,” I wanted to reach out and slap him, but I didn’t I just stood there shocked, “that isn’t going to happen, John.”

“John’s tired, Ali, I’m tired.” Asmodeus admitted but I still shook my head. His hand came out and rested on my neck, his thumb caressing my cheek with callous skin. “The only way to activate the blades, to give you the powers you need to defeat him, is to kill me.  I am the last, and I was the beginning of all of this.  Seraphiel is dead, I have no reason to continue, I long to be at peace.”

“Seraphiel, the first angel of Thursday?”  I questioned and felt the finger on my cheek twitch, “the one that Cas replaced, that Seraphiel?”

“Yes, he’s been long dead, and Castiel…” Now I understood why Cas was following him, watching him, it wasn’t just because of John, it was because of some long standing promise that Cas had made to the archangel long ago, a promise to protect his lover.  “In order for this to work, you need to spill my blood.”

“I can’t, John,” I whispered, as the tears started to fill my eyes. He was asking me to end his life, to end John’s life and I didn’t know if I had the strength, hell I didn’t even know what setting these things in motion would do to me or Danni, but I turned and looked at Danni.

“It can’t be her, Ali, you know this,” he whispered to me as I quickly turned back to him.  “Dean needs her, he needs someone to believe in.  She maybe strong but not strong enough to complete what needs to be done.  Dean will need her strength to get past this, just as much as he needed you in the beginning, to be a ground.”

“He’ll hate me,” I whispered, “Sam will hate me, John, you do realize this, don’t you?”

“It won’t be forever.” He whispered.  “You can’t let my death, John’s death touch her, you can’t let it cloud the light in her.”

“So, she’s the angel and I’m the demon?”  I laughed but watched as he didn’t respond. “So, totally fitting.”

“It’s in your bloodline,” he said apologetically. A demon, and not only a demon but a Prince of Hell was trying to make amends for something that happened centuries ago. “Alison, this is something you are destined to do,” he whispered, drawing me closer, his other hand came up to rest on the other side of my face, thumbs matching rhythms that stroked the skin there.  His eyes locked on mine, and suddenly I was pulled into a vision.

The ground around me burned, buildings crumbled, people screamed, bodies littered the ground before me as I stood on top of a rusted old bus. I swear I was watching the episode where the Croatoan virus was let loose, where Lucifer had succeeded in getting Sam to say yes, but this was far, far worse and just as deadly.

John stood beside me, his hand reached out to grasp mine, closing around my small fingers as I wrapped mine around his, only able to catch two of them. He looked down at me as I watched the destruction with horror on my face.

“He is more powerful than heaven and hell, able to do so much more than just destroy demons and angels.  He will do this to the Earth, to those who would oppose him.  He will become a God.” 

John’s voice sent shivers down my spine as I watched people killing people right in front of me, but I felt the vision fade and with tears in my eyes, I looked up at him. His dead eyes, those ones that I knew were the demon’s, changed, letting me see the softer side of the man, the soul, inside and as he looked helplessly down at me, his knees buckled as we were brought back to the warehouse, away from the vision. I knelt with him, the blade still grasped in my hand as he looked at me with exhaustion

I saw the human John look me over as he brushes his fingers down my face, a weary smile on his lips as he touched my skin and he took a deep shuddering breath. I’ve seen that smile before, the one that told me he was almost done, that he had done all he could.  It was the same one he gave me after finally pulling the second parent to the shore.

“You’ve become so beautiful,” he whispered, even his voice was tired of the fight, and the tears began to well up in his eyes, matching the ones that were spilling from mine. “I still remember your eyes when you looked at me when I left you.” He remembered saving me from the water, he remembered every part of it and he rested his hand on my cheek once again. Covering it with my own, with the free hand that needed his touch, I leaned into the warmth that pressed there.  “Please, Ali, I’m tired.  It’s been so long since I’ve slept, I just want to sleep.”

“Sam? Dean? John they need you,” I whispered, my lips quivering as I tried to hold in the emotions, but he shook his head

“No, they need you,” he looks at Danni, “and they need her. She’s you’re light, Ali, let her guide you through the darkness. Don’t let it take over, don’t let it take you!”

“The darkness had been taking me from the minute I got mixed up in this, John, but I can’t do this, I can’t take you from your boys,  _ our _ boys.”  I was pleading with him, hoping he would understand but he was just sitting there, grinning at me, because he knew what I needed to do just as much as I needed to do it. 

I made this decision, I picked up a blade that I knew was far worse than any mark or First Blade that Dean had come in contact with.  I chose this fight and I hadn’t even talked to Danni about it. 

_ Danni. _

My eyes moved to look her over as she struggled to pull herself up to a seated position, the blood covering her now, and I could see that the demons had hurt her far worse than I thought.  She was in pain, but she could see and hear everything that was going on.  I watched as she pleaded with me, shook her head, begged me with just her eyes not to do this, not to give in, but I could feel the blade twirling in my fingers, rubbing against my palm and suddenly, I knows what I needs to do.

Turning back to the man who held me, I clamped my jaw closed for a moment, trying to catch my heart as the pain gather in me.

“Let me go, Ali,” he whispered and I could feel the tug at my heart, closing my eyes tightly to let it all sink in.  “I just want to sleep.”

I opened my eyes, fingers wrapped around the mimosa/cedar handle of the blade and blinked back the tears. John gave me a slight smile, moved his hand to rest behind my neck and kissed me tenderly on the forehead. 

I knew this was his goodbye.  I knew what he wanted next. The end.

While his lips rest there, I closed my eyes tightly, bit down on my lip hard enough to draw blood and pulled back my arm, the blade’s end, ready and pointed.  I heard him slowly let out a breath, as if relief had finally come to him and with that, I thrust it forward. My breath caught as the blade slipped easily through clothing, flesh and past bone, lodging deep in his heart and I could hear John gasps.

I looked into his eyes, as he backed away, just before he looked down at the hilt that stuck out from his chest and he coughed as the stream of blood dribbled from his lips. I watched a smile creep up on his mouth, the blood pumping over the hilt and down across my hand, warm and rushing.

The last words he spoke, as he looked up into my eyes were, with that smile on his face, and peace in his breath would forever haunt me.  “Thank you.”

The noise behind me was the only thing that tore me away from the man in front of me and I turned just in time to see Dean and Sam enter the room. The look on Dean’s face was of pure horror, and shock as he looked at the blade and his father’s fading life.  Sam looked at me in confusion, but he swallowed and stayed completely composed.

I turned back to John as I watched him take his last breath, the hands on my neck slowly falling and I knew, just knew he was gone. But that wasn’t the end. Amazed and shocked I watched his eyes glow a bright yellow, so bright I had to close mine before it blinded me. It was as if he were an angel, the way they’re body lit up just before they were gone, but this time, just like the other one I had seen, the demon explodes out of every pore as black dust. 

With a deep breath, I pulled the blade from him dropped it to the ground, hearing nothing but the metal on the concrete and pulled John into my arms as his eyes faded and death took him, finally getting the rest that he so desperately wanted. 

Trying to contain my own emotions, all I could do was breathe, to try and take as many deep breaths to keep from passing out as I could, but I turned my head, tear stained cheeks looking over at the men in the doorway. I watch Dean fall to his knees, hands in his hair as his eyes fill with tears.  Sam, who had moved to check on Danni who is bleeding and leaning up against the wall, a blade beside her, suddenly rushed towards me to gather John up in his arms, and I let him, I let the man I loved take the father he had been searching for. 

I couldn’t hold back the pain I felt as I watched Sam touch John’s cheek, and then the wound from the blade, before he looked up at me in shock. I swallowed back the pain, the guilt, pushed it down, and aside, made room for something else, for rage and hatred of Zadimus, and as that filled me, I glanced over at Dean.

He’ll hate me for this, for the rest of my life, Dean will hate me for what I had to do, but not nearly as much as I hated myself.


	52. DH God Killers - CH 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's gone, Dean hates me, Sam... Sam at some point will want to kill me and the blades... What the hell was up with those blades?

**Chapter 19**

I watched them with a certain disconnection, watched as Dean wrapped John tenderly in the shroud that he had found, something that had covered office furniture somewhere in the building, but the twine was from the back of Baby, stashed in her trunk with a world full of other possession.  I watched Sam patch up Danni who was still leaning against the wall, her eyes locked on mine, as I moved the old pallets to the center of the room, far enough out of Dean’s reach so that he couldn’t possibly reach out and strangle me, though I would stand there and let him.

I didn’t hear the footfalls, not until the heat from the body loomed over me, not a threatening presence, so… not Dean, and I looked up at Sam as I broke one of the last boards from the broken pallet I had been working on, making a stack so that John could be laid to rest.  He stared down at me as I locked onto his eyes, but before long, I had to look away.  He could hate me all he wanted, he could be pissed off about my decision but he could not stand there and stare at me like that.  I was already kicking myself, I didn’t need to be kicked by him.

I expected something, some questions as to why, some need to know, but all he did was reach down and grab ahold of the boards that I had placed aside and helped to build the tower.  We did this in silence, moving like the well-oiled machine we had come to be, anticipating each other’s moves, dancing like no one was watching even with the mundane tasks of building a pyre.

I stepped back when the last pallet was in pieces, glanced up at Sam as he did the same to me out of the corner of his eye.  I watched his jaw clench as he looked down at my blood-soaked shirt, some of it my own, some of it the demons but most of it belonging to John and I frowned. I walked away from him, stripping down out of the flannel and walked over to the large basin that was in one of the farthest corners, a dark corner so that no one could see the blood that coated my arm.

Using what I could find at the sink, I turned on the water, watched it spout out some rust-tinged crap before changing to clear and warm, thankfully warm.  My skin felt like ice as it was but there wasn’t any soap, just the harsh steel wool that sat there.  Thinking I deserved whatever I got, I grabbed it in my left hand and began to scrub away the blood until my arm was red and raw and there was no distinction between what had been there and what was there now.

I held it up, my right arm, checked it in the light that there was nothing left, and watched, just for a second to see if something, anything happened, but there was no power surge, no Super-Mario power-up, nothing and I let out a shaky breath, my lips quivering as I placed both hands on the basin and lowered my head.

Had it all been for nothing, John’s death, the blades, the darkness, and Zadimus,  _ Zane _ , had his taunts and threats been just something that went along with the game to bring me to this point.  I wanted to drown myself in the rising water of the sink, I needed the silence to surround me, but that was when I smelled the gasoline and turned to watch Dean pick his father up.

The white cloth, wrapped body seemed light as a feather to the man who carried it, which seemed odd because John was bigger than him, more solid, but you wouldn’t have known if you had watched him walk over and set his father on top of that wood.

I moved around the outside of the room, debating on whether to go over and stand next to Sam, who probably could have used the support, but Dean moved to him instead.  Danni pushed up from the wall, still leaning against it as Dean took out the lighter, a stoic look on his face and lit the end of the gas trail that started only a few feet from where he and Sam stood and then he backed up.

All of the windows were busted in the building, nothing was keeping that fire from building as the first flames caught and the rest followed it around the wood.  I stood on the opposite side of them, my eyes locked on Sam, locked on Dean over the fire, the flames so close I could feel the heat, but I didn’t back away, I just stared.

I should have been over there, holding them, both of them, but I was so angry with myself and felt so much hatred that I couldn’t move. The only time I even took my eyes off from the boys was when Dean looked up, his chest puffed as he breathed in and he stared at me.  The emotions there was loss, hurt and anger but there was no hatred and that made me mad, that in itself pissed me off and I looked away.  Why didn’t he hate me right then, why couldn’t he do what I wanted him to do? 

As the body caught fire, as I watched it start to burn, the rush of wings filled the room and I only glanced over because the boys did, to spy Cas standing near Danni.  He had missed Charlie’s funeral, he wasn’t going to miss John’s.  Reaching out, the angel touched Danni, healing her of the battle wounds that caused her so much pain and I watched as she walked over to Dean, wrapped an arm around his and I couldn’t help but smile as Dean kissed her on the head before turning back to the pyre. 

Cas stood beside Sam and the two men looked at each other, Cas gave a small nod and they focused on what was in front of them but Cas looked above it, above the flames to land his sights right on me. I stared for a while, hoping he would see the hurt in me, but he never moved, didn’t bother to come to my side and I raised a brow, turned and made it the long way around the room before I grabbed my backpack and the jacket I had removed.

With one last glance at the four of them, with just a quick once over, I hiked the bag up and disappeared soundlessly into the darkness of the building.  When I made it to the door, stepped outside into the night, the muggy air hit me like a paperweight, and my lungs struggled to adjusts.  It wasn’t warm, just heavy and I placed the bag down long enough to pull on the jacket. 

With a deep breath, I looked up at the building, at the light that shined from one of the windows and pulled the pack on one more time before starting down the road, unsure of where I was headed but I knew that I had to get as far away from them as possible, no matter how hard my heart broke in the process. But it seemed that there were other thoughts about it from the younger brother.

~~~~~

I had gotten about two miles away, a good thirty minutes before the headlights on a car came creeping up behind me.  I never thought to listen to the sound of the engine, never even gave it a moment’s hesitation as I stuck my thumb out, not bothering to look behind me, but kept walking as if they wouldn’t stop. But it was when the Dodge tail lights went around me and stopped not more than five hundred feet up the road that I realized just what I was looking at.

I watched from the back as the car was put in park, lights still on and idling, and Sam got out, his face sad and frustrated as he stepped from the driver’s side of the car and closed the distance between us with a more than a few easy strides.

I stopped and looked up at him, his hands clenched at his sides, and his jaw locked but he didn’t say anything.

“Leave me alone, Sam,” I snapped and finally went to move around him.  I heard him take in a deep breath and his hand grasped my arm, not hard enough to hurt but strong enough to stop me.  I glanced from it to the man who it belonged to and shook my head.  “Let me go.”

“Why did you run off?”  Was his only question and I gave him a sarcastic smile, before it faded and I shook my head.

It wasn’t “why did you kill my dad” or “why would you use those blades” or even “what possessed you to do that”, no it was “why did you run off?” Apparently, the man didn’t have his priorities straight.  I yanked my arm from his hold, instantly missing his touch, but he had no right to ask a question without being angry.  He should be angry for so much more than me leaving the building.

“You and Dean, you need time to heal, to wrap your head around the fact that you just gave your father, the man you have been searching for, a hunter’s funeral.” I answered to the best of my abilities, and by that I meant the ability to stay calm.  “You don’t need me there to remind you of the way he ended up there.”

I started walking again, putting some distance between me and the man behind me, but I heard his boots turn on the gravel that covered the side of the road. The words that came next had me stopping in my tracks.

“I do,” he spoke, but he didn’t yell it, the wind carried it to me and this made me freeze on the spot, my head down as I looked at my feet.

I drew in a breath, trying to calm my racing heart as I heard him approach. I didn’t move, afraid that there might be a knife at the end of his hands but when both fell on my shoulders and he turned me towards him, I dropped the pack and let him pull me in.  Sam’s arms were safe, they were warm and they made everything just seem to disappear, or at least waver enough so that emotions I felt just crashed through and suddenly I was sobbing like an idiot. 

My knees gave out as his strength held me up but when I wanted to go down, he came with me, kneeling as my arms finally came up and my hands grasped his shirt and the realization of all that I had done in the past few days was nothing but pure evil.

“Why did you do it?” He whispered against my head, his lips not a breath away from my skin and I knew that question was coming.

“He was tired,” I replied, “John was so tired.”  Sam inhaled, as if he were taking in the smell of the smoke that clung to me, or what little bit of the scent of my shampoo but he didn’t let it out.  “The demon inside broke him, and he wanted peace.”

“Cas gave him that.” Sam’s fingers ran through my knotted hair, gently caressing the tangles from it, as he smoothed it over my back.  “When the fire started to burn down, Cas brought Tessa, and Tessa brought Dad’s soul to heaven.  She said he had fought long and hard enough, he deserved some peace.”

I backed away from him, my sobs totally under control and I moved, quickly, getting to my feet as I grabbed the bag once again, ready to be on the move but I couldn’t step away, even if I wanted to. I stood with my back to him for the longest time before I shook my head and pivoted in the spot I stood.

“Why aren’t you fuming right now?” I questioned, the anger building in me.  “You should hate me… you should… want to… you should want me dead, Sam!”  He looked up with hurt in his eyes, but the darkness, the hard evidence of his past was still prominent. This man before me hadn’t gone soft, no he was still a stone-cold killer but when he looked at me, all I saw was the way he loved me and that in itself broke my heart. His eyes glistened with tears, not flowing ones that you would see if he were anything less than the man he was, but just the spark of emotions that he held so close and I dropped the bag again. “I should be dead!”

With that last statement is was up, he rushed at me and cupped my cheeks with his hands, bringing his lips down on mine. This was his answer, this one little gesture, the one act of devotion.  I wasn’t sure if it made me more upset that he was kissing me, or that he was doing it with such love that it blocked the anger, that it pushed the self-hatred aside.

His kiss wore on, it grew deeper and the more he explored the kiss, the more my body let go of what it wanted to hang onto.  His hand moved from my cheek to my hair and the other one to my waist and onto the small of my back, keeping me locked against him as I let go of my resolve and let my hands move up to his hair, tangling them there until we were both breathless.

“Come back with me,” he pleaded.

“Dean,” I whispered, expressing my fear in that one word.

“Don’t worry about my brother,” he sighed, his forehead against mine but so close to my ear, “I’ll protect you from him.  He just needs a little time.”  I didn’t speak, didn’t move not until he spoke again. “Ali, please, I need you.”

I nodded, and waited for him to take the lead, because I wasn’t going unless he was sure.  His hand moved from my hair down to grasp my hand and when he let me go, grabbing the pack by my feet, he lead me to the car and opened the door for me, letting me slide in.  I jumped at the sound of it closing, but the fear eased when Sam slipped in behind the wheel, his hand instantly finding mine, and I looked up at his reassuring wink, taking that as a cue that everything was going to be fine and let myself relax back in the seat.

~~~~~

Danni stared at me as we got out of the car, the door to the room she shared with Dean was wide open and I could see him sitting at the table with the bottle of whiskey in his hand as he stared at the floor.  I wanted so much to run in and grab him, hold him and tell him it was okay, but just like Sam, I wanted him to hate me so much more. Sam swung the bag up and over his shoulder as he took my hand, looking over at Danni as he gave me a gentle tug and pulled me towards our door.  Once there, with the door left wide open, I sat down on the bed and let Sam watch me, his eyes burrowing into me. 

Couldn’t I just go to sleep? Couldn’t I just forget the day and get buried in the darkness?  But I knew I couldn’t because Zane hadn’t let me sleep, not without disturbing it somehow. I rubbed my forehead, closed my eyes and tried to keep them open, feeling physically and mentally drained, but the new presence in the room had me looking up and at the door. 

Sam stopped his activities, and also looked at Danni, who was there with her arms crossed.  I licked my lips, waiting on the fight but she just gestured her head out the door, wanting me to follow. My eyes went back to Sam, not for permission but to see if he knew what might be going on. He just shrugged and slowly, I rose, my feet hitting the carpeted floor.

Maybe this was it, maybe this was the way that Dean ended it all, taking me into the back alley, grabbing me by surprise and shoving a blade through my heart.  And maybe, just maybe, I welcomed it as I stepped past her and disappeared around the corner, walking into the darkness.

~~~~~

I stared her down, having whirled around at the feeling of her grabbing my arm.  I could see the pain on her face, the confusion in her eyes and she just shook her head. I had just done one of the worst possible things I could have ever imagined in my life and she was staring me down like I was probably the world’s scariest mass murderer.  And the rage inside, the one that had coursed through me since that very first moment I had drawn it from the angel, pooled in me, seeping into every vein and nerve ending.  It was all I could do to clench my fist and hold back a swing.

“Ali, what the hell were you thinking?” Her voice was low and calm, but to me it was like fingers on a chalkboard, grating on the back of my eyes as I winced in pain.  “What did you do?”

“I just left two boys orphans.” I snapped and shook my head, “I just blackened my soul with the very thing can never be taken away, and I would do it all over again if I had the chance because the one thing I need to do in this world is kill that evil son of a bitch!”

“Did you even think about Sam and Dean?” her words stopped me. 

I didn’t tell her what had happened to me when Asmodeus showed me the future under Zane’s reign, I didn’t tell her all of the things he had done to me in the warehouse, and I was pretty sure that Dean hadn’t either, but was I thinking about Sam and Dean?  They were the first ones I thought of, how it would affect Dean to sees his father dead, how it would be for Sam to hold his limp body in his arms and then I thought back to everything Dean had told me, every little flinch on Sam’s face when the man’s name was mentioned.  Yeah, I thought about Sam and Dean every second, and I would still do it again.

I leaned in towards her, my hands tight at my side and I licked my lips, keeping my breathing evil.  “Go back in side with those boys, stay close to Cas, Danni, because I swear to God, right now, I am not in a good place.”

“When have you been? When since you have arrived, have you been in a good space? Between the little snarky attitude with the phone call on the way here to walking in and seeing you in Dean’s arms in the warehouse the first time, when have you been open with me?  What the hell is going on between you two?”  Danni questioned through clenched teeth.

“If I have to tell you again that there is nothing going on between us, I think I might swing,” I answered, looked up to the sky and smiled a little.  “Dean loves you, not sure if he’s told you yet, not really something I need to know, but apparently, you do.”

“He loves you, and you know it!” Danni snapped back, “I’ve heard him say it to you.”

“Yeah but he isn’t in love with me and I’m sorry if he hasn’t told you, that is not my fault.  He loves me, yeah, sure like that pesky little sister he never wanted, but there is  _ nothing _ between us.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets and backed up, the urge I was fighting was just under the surface and I didn’t want to hurt her.

“Then don’t touch him.” Danni ordered.  “Stop brushing him on the way by, don’t let your fingers reach out for him, because you do it, you know, you seek him out just as much as he does you.”

Stop? She wants  _ me _ to stop? I took a breath and nodded.  Now that Dean hated me, and you could see it in his eyes as we burned his father, there was no way that man was ever touching me again unless it was to put a dagger through my heart, the same way that I took care of John. I was agreeing, I wanted to agree, I wanted to keep him as far away from me as I could but my mind had other thoughts, and I growled in frustration, literally growled as my body started to pace.

“You can’t do it, can you?  Just thinking about not doing it is setting you on edge, isn’t it?”  She taunted, and I stared up at her, seething in my own skin.

“Danni, just turn your ass back around and go inside!  Dean needs you, that’s why I did this, because he needs someone strong and light to help him through this, not someone like me.” My feet the ground at an alarming rate and the distance between strides lessened.  “Please, just go inside!”

“No,” she laughed, and though I don’t know why it was funny, I know it pissed me off and I rolled my eyes before I closed them. This was not going to be good.  “You can’t even admit to me that you want him, ME the one person you should be totally honest with!”

“Fine!” I roared and stepped up to her, eye to eye with my sister, locked in a stare.  “I want him!” I admitted and watched the hurt in her face as I seemingly acknowledged her biggest fear. “I want him more than anything to be happy with the person he loves, to live a long and happy life and I want him to know that no matter what, I have his back, but you know what, I want Dean just as I want Sam to be part of my life too.  And I’m sorry if you can’t understand that!  So you take your suspicions, your anger and your allegations and you shove them straight up your ass!”

She did almost exactly what I had expected her to, she swung and I let it fly, hitting me square in the jaw. Closing my eyes, I let the feeling flow through me. She had caught me right about the spot that Dean had hit me and it smarted, but it didn’t knock me out, not this time and I smiled as I reached up and put my fingers to the bruised and swelling area. 

I picked my head up, wiped the blood with the back of my hair and looked down at it.  “Feel better?”

“Ali, you can go to hell!” She snapped and I watched as she turned away, her ponytail moving like a whip, barely missing my face and I wiped my hand on the side of my jeans as she disappeared around the corner.

My tongue darted out, tasting the blood on the end of my lip and I shook with the pleasure-pain that seeped through me.  I wanted to cry, to let out all of the emotions, but there wasn’t anything I could do to release them. I had killed John, I had watched as the boys wrapped his body, set him on top of that pile of broken pallets, doused him with gasoline and lit him up, and yet I didn’t shed a tear.  

I had watched Dean break down, walk out of the room and smash everything in the bathroom, yet I didn’t flinch after it happened, and Sam, the way he looked at me, the darkness that crept back up into his eyes, I knew I put that there, but the only thing I felt was turned on, like I wanted to know what he could do with that anger, do to me.  I wanted to know what damage he could cause.

I faced the wall as I stood there, my eyes closed as it all flashed at me, and as my heart raced and my breathing grew hard, the anger filled me once more and I swung. I sent that clenched fist flying out at whatever was there and it connected with the brick wall and with all the force behind it, broke through the layers of mortar and red brick, until it coated me in dust.  But it didn’t hurt!

I opened my eyes, looked at the eight-inch hole in front of me and down at the crumbled remains on the ground in confusion and then brought my hand up towards my face.  The knuckles were red and raw but not bleeding.

As I stared, I watched the redness slowly turn to unmarred flesh and glanced around to see if anyone was watching. That was when the pain struck. Not the kind you would get from blasting a wall but a deep burning, somewhere in the marrow of your bones, and it moved upwards to the surface. 

I watched the veins in my arms begin to glow a deep red, I could see everything through the thin layer of skin, even watched as the pulse in my wrist beat with the thump of my heart but the pain surged again, putting me down on my knees as I held tightly to that one arm with the other hand, hoping to stop the spread by cutting off the circulation but nothing worked.

It moved, from where the John’s blood had coated my arm upwards and across my chest. I felt the glow the fire as I closed my eyes and held back the scream but over the pain, I heard Sam, his voice calling out to me. I turned from the wall, trying to find my voice to call out to him, but I had only the ability to breath as I leaned against the mess that I created.

He came around the corner, stopped and watched me with fear and concern as the glow slowly began to fade but the burning in my hand continued.  I looked up at him, begging for help with my eyes before I looked down and heard him move.  Sam gathered me against him, pulling me towards his chest as his arms wrapped around me and one of his large hands enveloped mine, his thumb skirted over the pad of meaty flesh just below my right thumb and I winced in pain.

My eyes moved traveling the length of my arm to rest on the mark that was etched into the skin, like a brand-new tattoo, not red and raised like a brand but there, lightly done as if it were a shadow, but when Sam touched it, it went right to those pain/pleasure receptors in my brain and I moaned, despite the strange exhaustion from the heat that I had just experienced.

“What happened?” Sam whispered as the grip on my shoulder tightened and he tried to hold me as close as he could to his body, all I could do in response was shake my head.  I felt him look up at the wall, and then he brought his lips back down to kiss my head.  “Danni came in pissed, and she went down. She was holding her arm and screaming.” His hand left mine, taking the feeling away from my palm and he tilted my head back so that I could look into his eyes. “Ali, what did you do?”

“The blades,” I whispered, the first time I could find my voice and it still cracked. “The fight Danni and I had, the rage I felt, the swing I took, it activated the blades.”

“Okay,” he answered, taking in a breath and his lips touched mine gently, reassuringly, and repeated against them, “okay.”

“No, Sam, it’s not.” I breathed, and swallowed. “I just gave Asmodeus and Zane exactly what they wanted.  I activated the blades, I gave Danni the light, and I took on the darkness.” My eyes locked on his and I shook my head. “I’m afraid, Sam, so afraid.”

I watched his eyes fill up with emotions, the darkness in them covered by love and a fear of his own as he brushed back my hair and kissed me softly again.

“Don’t be afraid, I’m right here,” he pleaded, wanting to not be as confused as he was, unsure of what to do next.

“Sam,” my voice cracked and I let my fingers run up his arm, to the back of his neck, where I tangled them into his hair, wrapping little strands around them, like the way he was wrapped around my heart. “I don’t think I can fight it.”

I brought his lips to mine, hot, heavy and needing but it took all I had just to keep that branding kiss from becoming more, because I wanted him. I wanted to own him, I wanted to see just how dangerous he could be, and I wanted to make it hurt, not for him but for myself. As his tongue flicked at my mouth, parting them only enough so he could slip in, I moaned against him, tasted the beer that he had been sipping on, the way the saltiness of his lips seemed to become so addictive and suddenly I pulled away.

His eyes were dark with lust, his hand cupping my face as he held himself away, both of us panting under the intensity of the need, but he didn’t move, his eyes were locked on mine. 

“We’ll fight it together, sweetheart,” he sighed, his warm breath against me, and it calmed me, like he was a shield. “We’ll fix this, I promise. I’ll find a way.”


	53. DH God Killers - 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um, what the hell happened and how did I get HERE?

**Chapter 20**

My feet wouldn’t stop moving, I paced the room like a caged animal, too angry to stay put, too afraid to venture closer to the window, or even to the other room where Sam was talking to his brother, to Danni.

My eyes were flashing, changing the colors of the world around me and it took everything I had to adjust to them, until that door opened and I stopped dead in my tracks, waiting for the attack, but Sam walked in, his hands raised, as if to let me know he was unarmed and meant no harm, which only had me curious on what he was doing.

“He wants me dead, doesn’t he?” I whispered, not conscious that my thoughts had slipped from my lips.

“What?” Sam asked as he stepped closer, slowly, but still closer and he palmed my cheek, my eyes locking on his. “No, Ali, no! Dean doesn’t want you dead, you need to stop that.”

“I can’t,” I admitted, closing my eyes as I pressed against his warmth, “I have so much hate in me.”

“It’s the blades talking, the power,” he reassured me, “it’s the darkness.”

“Sam, what John… what Asmodeus showed me, the way the world would be if Zane had his way,” I shook my head, my heart breaking again at the images, “you were dead, Dean was dead… I can’t… I couldn’t survive if I lost any of you.”

“You aren’t going to lose anyone, Ali, we’re working on it,” he kissed me softly before he pulled back and his free hand came up to move my hair from my face, “give me time, I swear I’ll fix it.”

With one more quick kiss, he grabbed the large book that he and Cas had been looking at and disappeared out of the room. My heart raced as I leaned on the counter, trying to stop the flashes of smoky red, and finally, I moved to the table, grabbed the God Killer blade that I had set there and tucked it into my boot.  As it touched my skin, the vision stopped, the race of my heart eased and I couldn’t help but smile.

I stepped up to the door, opened my ears to the sounds of the room next door. The window was open, the conversation wasn’t at all quiet and I could hear Sam trying to explain what we had found on the parchment but I could hear only one other thing, the same question from the two other in the room.

“You left her alone in there?”  Dean growled and the grin widened on my face, not sure why I felt his question funny, but the voice I heard next was Danni.

“With the blade, Sam?  You left her alone with the blade?”

And that was my cue.

I disappeared around the corner of the building, weaving my way through the back streets of Winchester, and I knew where I was going. I wasn’t ever just a passenger in the car, I always made notes of landmarks and other places that might just need to be remembered and I found myself headed towards Old Town. 

The Impala rumbled by on several occasions, the distinct sound of the Charger whistled in my ears and every time either of them passed, I ducked behind a building, stopped just short of the corner so I could see them but they never spotted me, and that didn’t really make me happy, but I couldn’t seem to get rid of the stupid grin on my face.

Chase! That was what it was, a great game of chase. 

Entering the quieter side of Old Town, I walked calmly through the street as if I were just like everyone else, just a tourist, but I could feel the blade against my leg, and I could almost see inside every one of the people that surrounded me.  I was getting closer to rush hour, closer to the walkways filling up, but this was also June and the start of the tourist season already had the place packed.

I just passed an alley, one that started out bright and sunny but seemed to fade into darkness, and the power that erupted from it made me stop.  Looking around at where I was, I noticed the sign for the small Hideaway Café diagonal to where I stood, in the exact spot that Zane had stood before, when he decided that flying tables were just the right kind of thing to get my attention. 

Glancing down the darkening alley, I turned and found my feet were silent on the cobblestone.  Strange enough because I was wearing boots and being that it was almost like a tunnel, the sounds should have reverberated so loudly that they hurt my ears, but I heard nothing but silence.

Just as I crossed the line, the one that seemed to be drawn by dark and light, I felt the power shift, the lighter side taking over the darkness and I grinned. I hadn’t recognized it before, but now, just on that side of reality, I caught the subtle hint of angel and the smell of his cologne.

Castiel stepped out of the darkness, from behind a large garbage bin, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans and I let out a breath, letting the six feet or so between us remain, as I looked him over from head to toe.  He seemed to glow, almost like Dean and Danni, so much light in him, but he toned it down, so that it didn’t hurt to look at and I felt the power in me reaching out to him.

“What did you do?”  Cas whispered and I couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped me.

“You know what I did, Castiel, you know I killed John.”  I answered and shook my head.

“Yes, of course, that I knew, but you’re different,” I watched as he tilted his head just slightly, as if this would give him a better view of what was inside me. “The darkness is taking over, I can feel it on you.”

“The blades activated,” I shrugged and held up my hand, letting him see the shadow of a tattoo against my skin.  “Not sure what the hell it means, but it can hurt like a bitch when it wants too.”

“May I?” He questioned as he stepped closer, holding his hand out, palm up and though I didn’t see the harm in it, every hair on the back of my neck was standing up, waiting for his touch.  When I hesitated, as Cas stopped and waited, my heart began to race as the blade against my skin began to grow warm.  Gently, I placed my hand in his palm up and his fingers curled around my wrist, two on either side, his thumb running over the mark and I hissed at the pins and needles he created. “I’m worried about this, Ali, are you sure that you can handle what you’re becoming?”

“I don’t even know what that is, Cas, how should I know if I can handle it?”  His thumb moved from the mark and rested in the middle of my palm, pressing down and I could feel it start to heat up.  I watched as the light under his pad began to spread up my hand and sighed when it disappeared up my wrist.  Like a high, I suddenly felt energized but mellowed out at the same time.  He had given me something, a little bit of light to counter the darkness. “Can Danni do this?”

“In time…soon, I hope.” Cas sighed, and released me.  “Danni hasn’t had the exposure to the light like you have had to the darkness, she isn’t as “amped” up as you, if that would be what you might call it.”

“So she needs a boost, and you can do that, right?”  I questioned and watched him nod, but there was also concern in his expression.  “You don’t want to give Danni any power? Why?”

“I see what you are going though, and it worries me.” At least Cas was honest.

“Sam wants to fix me,” I stated and shrugged, watched as his eyes came back up to mine and locked on blue for blue.  “What if there’s nothing to fix?  I mean, what if this is just who I am, who I’ve always been?”

“You’re…” he started but his lips thinned as he thought about it, glancing around the alley before he came back to look me in the eyes again.  “You’re not darkness, Ali, you’re not a creature of evil, it’s not in your nature.”

“Funny, it feels awfully natural to me.” I grinned, but it wasn’t a funny grin, more of a sarcastic one that if he were human he would have taken as “you got to be kidding me,” but this was Castiel, not a normal man.  “Tessa, did she get John where he needed to be?”

“Yes, John is safely in heaven.”

“And Asmodeus?”  I watched his expression change once more, unsure of how to answer it.

“He’s…” his eyes drifted from mine, “wherever Princes of hell go.”

“What do you need to tell me, Cas?”  I questioned and watched him shift his weight.

“Danni,” he cleared his throat and took my hand again.  “A side effect of the light is that she will very much become like an angel, there will be no grey area for her.  She will see right and wrong almost in black and white.”

“Is that what’s going on with her now?” I questioned, realizing that the two of us had been wrong from the start.  My anger and her obsession, they had been off since the moment we arrived in the same place together.  Not before on the way down, but almost the moment we stood in the same room, things had begun to change.  “Her endless obsession with Dean and I, the way we connect?  You’re telling me she’s somehow seeing this as wrong?”

“Well, you are with Sam.” He almost rolled his eyes, almost but I saw him refrain from it.

“Okay, I think I get what you’re putting out there,” I smiled and shook my head, “she’s got it in her angelic head that whatever connection Dean and I have is wrong?”

“She has a war going on inside, Ali, not of what is right and wrong between the two of you, but who to protect more, you or Dean.  She feels the need to protect you from each other, not both, which is why she can’t let it go.”  I let my head drop forward, confused beyond anything that there was nothing I could do to stop her from feeling that way especially if it was anything like the war going on inside of me.   Cas placed a hand on my shoulder and I felt his fingers digging in, trying to comfort me, but I could also feel the energy he was pushing.  “It hasn’t come to the surface yet, Ali, but she’ll get to a point where she will feel the need to choose one or the other of you and that might be an issue.”

“Yeah, remove the obstacle in the way, that gets rid of the problem.”  I raised my head to look at him.  “So, it will be either kill me and get rid of the darkness, or kill Dean and…” I paused for a minute and took a deep breath, “get rid of the light, maybe that’s why he can calm me down, Dean has the light in him too.”

“Just like Sam carries a darkness,” Cas added and I shook my head, stepping back out of his reached.  I let the feelings take over, moaning as I felt the anger build up in me and I clenched my teeth as it grew.

“You could have stopped this Cas!” I snapped placing my back against the wall but I stared at him, feeling the darkness flow over me and the smoky red took over and I could see the light that flowed through him.  “You could have just done what I had asked you, turned it off, but you didn’t do it. Now Danni,” I leaned forwards, nauseous, and closed my eyes, “Danni will have to choose between us!”

“Ali!” Cas snapped, coming forward.

“No!” I growled at him, “if this can’t be changed, you better do what you promised me you would. You better fix this!” I closed my eyes as lightning flashed before them and I felt the heat down in the pit of my stomach. Doubled over in pain, I reached out a hand, fingers feeling in the darkness that was starting to close in. “Cas, help.  What the hell is happening to me?”

“Ali,” his hand grasped mine but the shock of it alone had him pull back. “Ali, look up at me.”

“I can’t see!” I snapped but lifted my head so that I thought I might be aimed in the right direction.  The light that pierced through was blinding, and I raised a hand to look at the outline of the angel, a white outline of a man.  “Jesus, you’re too bright!”

“You can see past my vessel,” he sighed and I watched that bright hand come towards me again, which made me shrink away. “Let me help.”

“Don’t touch me,” I whispered, not afraid but angry, “Cas, I might hurt you!”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a might,”  _ his _ voice invaded and my eyes scanned the rest of the darkness for the red glowing outline of the demon that stepped into the alley with us. “I know she will.” Zane stopped, his figured placed his hands behind his back and faced Castiel and I was suddenly watching a standoff. “Castiel, my father’s? Mother’s… parent’s replacement.  So good of you to keep John safe all these years.”

“Zadimus,” Cas sighed. “You need to stop this, you’re going to kill her!”

“Cas, Cas, Cas, oh ye of little faith,” Zane turned in my direction and stepped closer, I felt the heat become a blaze as the distance shrank and I turned my glowing eyes towards Cas, begging for help, but when Zane’s fingers touched my forehead, the pain stopped, the burning disappeared and my sight went back to normal.  “I wouldn’t ever let such a precious thing die.”

My legs gave out on me as I slid down the wall, exhausted but slightly on the energized side as well and my eyes were locked on the angel, whose blade slipped down from the sleeve of his jacket. Cas moved forward, advanced at the man who was just about to crouch before me and I watched as Zane flicked his wrist towards Cas.  The angel seemed to soar off his feet and hit the wall with a hard thud.  All I could see, from where I sat, was the limp hand of my friend stretched out in the darkness of the alley, the angel blade three feet from him and I felt the tips of Zane’s fingers on my chin.

“My, my, look at you, my precious Kitten,” he smiled with glee, “all juiced up with nothing to work your aggression out on.”

“Don’t call me that!” I growled and turned my eyes towards him.  Zane smiled, used his free hand to run along my hairline before his thumb traced my lips.  “Get the hell away from me!”

“You haven’t even heard why I’m here.” And oh, how I would have loved to punch him in the teeth. Placing both hands against the wall, I used it as leverage to push myself up to my feet, still a little on the shaking side but sturdy enough to keep me up and I swiped his hands away from me, but he grabbed ahold of my wrist.

“There’s nothing that you can offer that would make me even want to listen.” His smile turned evil and he pushed me against the wall, using all of his body to keep me there as he took hold of my free hand and wrapped his fingers around both of my tiny wrists, holding them tightly above my head. With force he wrapped his hand around my neck and held my head against the brick, making it so I couldn’t look away.

“You are strong, more so than I thought you would ever be.” His breath was against my face as he leaned in and stoked his lips along my cheek, close to my ear, “I want you to be my bride, rule beside me when I take over this world.” His words alone brought the visions that John… that Asmodeus had shown me back to the forefront of my thoughts.  Sam and Dean dead, Danni and Cas destroyed and me standing on the top of some damned bus looking over the mayhem with John right beside me.  “Forget your little hunter, forget your Winchester, I can love you so much more than him.”

“Sam,” I whispered, as the tear fell from my eyes, the vision of his bloodied and broken body flashed through my mind and I struggled against his grip. “Let me go you son of a bitch!”

“You’ll change your mind, Love, you really will.”  He smiled, his lips touching the corner of mine and suddenly he started singing, badly, “I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, bloody…”

“Screw off!” I growled and brought my knee up, connecting with his sensitive groin.

Zane doubled over in pain, backing off enough to free my hands and I reached into my boot to grab the blade.  I brought it up as he rose, more pissed off that I had gotten the jump on him than anything and I swung, bringing it down across his face. I watched a red slash appear, glowing as if his essence was draining out and suddenly he was on me, grabbed the wrist of the hand that held the blade and slammed it against the wall. 

I released it on impact and heard it fall to the floor as the stars flashed behind my eyes when my head connected to the wall as well.  Dazed, I fought back at him with all I had but still nothing seemed to fend him off.  He held me again, this time his arm was across my throat, pressing in as he cut off the air and I raked at him with my nails.

“Shh,” he whispered as his hand ran down from under my arm, over my breast, and down to my waist. I struggled against him as his fingers came around and flicked at the button of my jeans. “Ut-ah, my sweet, just stay still.”

“Fuck you!” I snapped and kicked at him again.  I wasn’t going down like this, wasn’t going to submit to him and suddenly I felt it, the anger build up in my body, the heat in my stomach and I saw the flash across my eyes. I stopped clawing at his arms and reached out to dig my nails into his face as I cupped his cheeks in my hands.

With everything I had, I pulled at the dark energy that he released and I pulled with so much force that I screamed as it entered me.  The heat in my stomach rose to my chest and flashes of his memories burned into my brain.

“ALI!” Cas’ voice was just a whisper above the scream and suddenly there were two wails of pain, mine and Zane’s but it was the angel’s white light that stopped it all. “ALI! STOP!”

Cas forcefully broke us free, practically throwing Zane across the alley and he slammed into the wall, the brick crumbling behind him, powdering down on top of him as he landed. Cas held me up, pulled me to him and wrapped his arms tightly around me as he looked at the demon on the ground.  He had snatched up the blade, held it tightly in his hand and with one more look at Zane, put his head down on my shoulder, blocking my view of anything except the softness of his black hair and the sound of his wings.

~~~~~

I’m not sure where he took me, but it wasn’t the motel, it really wasn’t anywhere, just a cabin in the woods, but I was too much of something and not enough of the other to figure it out.  While the pain of syphoning the energy from Zane had been unreal, the high I caught from it was electrifying but my body was telling me it had been through battle and all I could do was lay on the old dingy couch Cas had set me down on.

“Where are we?” I whispered, looking around at the little shack and watched as Cas made his way back towards me with a bowl of water and a cloth.

“This was John’s cabin.” He said softly as he looked around, before brushing my hair from my neck.  “You have cuts where his nails dug in.”

I pushed his hands away and sat up on the couch, letting the room spin as I adjusted to the sudden movement.  “I’m fine, Cas, they’ll heal.” He sat back on his heels and looked at me as I moved about on the couch, then spotted the blade on the end table behind my head.  “That thing cut him and he didn’t mend, why?”

“It’s made to destroy anything supernatural, Ali, including Zadimus.” Cas answered and stood, moving towards the small kitchen area again.  “I was out for a while, what did he say to you.”

“That he wanted me to stand by him and be his bride when he took over the world,” I whispered and let the image of Sam cloud my thoughts. Cas sighed and I looked over as he put his hands on the sink and looked out the window.  “Isn’t going to happen, Cas, not while I’m alive.”

“There is a distinct possibility that it might,” he replied, which had me sitting up further on the couch, clinging to the back of it as he turned to look at me. “He was right, you are more powerful than anything we’ve seen, and the darkness as it in you grows in you, will take over any feelings for Sam.”

“Ain’t going to happen, Cas!” I growled and swung my legs over off the edge of the couch, a wave of dizziness hit me and I leaned forward, elbows to my knees as I placed my palms to my forehead.  “Why are we here anyway?”

“This cabin is surrounded by a dampening field, one that no only keeps the powers out, but also keeps yours contained.”  He moved to sit on the chair across from me, and I could see his sneakers as he sat down, my eyes adjusting to the room as it stopped spinning.  “You took in so much of his energy, so much of mine that I was afraid of an overload.”

“Overload, is that what you call it,” I smiled and shook my head, bad idea by the way if you are already spinning, “feels like a nasty hangover.”

“It might take a bit for you to adjust to it, for your body to release some of it.”  Cas moved again, this time he placed both hands on my shoulders and pushed me back so that my head rested against the couch and I was looking up at him.  The room seemed to stop spinning and I felt the coolness of a rough towel against the skin just above my eyes.  “This way is better for your equilibrium, it will help with the dizziness.”

“Cas,” I whispered and reached out, placing my hand on his wrist. His lips went taunt, but I could tell that he was just watching for the moment when I started to syphon off from him again, a moment that didn’t come.  “Sam and Dean, Danni, they need to know I’m here and not off on some psycho killing spree.”

“I’ll,” he turned his hand so that he was holding mine instead of me gripping his wrist.  “I’ll bring them work, Ali, but I don’t know if it’s safe to bring them here.”

“I want Sam,” I said softly as I closed my eyes, letting him see the image that Zane had locked in my head.  “I need to know that he’s all right.”

“I’ll do what I can, but I can’t promise that I can bring him here, the magic is too strong.”

“It’s blood magic, Cas, Sam will be able to walk right through the door.”

“How do you know?” I lifted my free hand and pointed at the door, opening my eyes just a slit, I followed his movements as he turned and looked at it.

“The AO3 symbol on the door, it’s the same one on the research room in the basement, the same as the one on the blades.”

With a confused look on his face, he turned back to me. “You shouldn’t be able to enter here then, the magic should have kept you out.”

“Blood magic like that doesn’t just mean blood, it means essence as well,” I sighed, and shook my head.  “Asmodeus is part of me, part of Zane, which becomes part of me, and the blades,” I raised my palm up so that he could see the darkening tattoo, “the blades are part of me now, which links me to every part of that symbol.”

“How do you…” I stopped him with a smile.

“I read it somewhere once,” I answered and closed my eyes as the world started to grow warm. I groaned, letting out the pain as the heat began to spread and Cas was by my side again.  “God, if this is dampened, I would hate to see what it’s like out there.” My eyes flashed opened and I stared at Cas. “Go!” I ordered and watched his brows furrow, “go check on Danni, if this is happening to me, what’s going on with her?”

“You have a point,” Cas took a deep breath and I wondered if it were for effects or just a habit he had gotten into.  “I’ll let them know you’re here and I’m sure with that knowledge Sam will want to be here as well.”

“Thank you, Cas.”  I whispered and closed my eyes.  With a whoosh of wings, I knew he was gone and I let the heat settle before the emptiness of what I hoped was some kind of rest took over.

~~~~~

I stood in the back alley of a bar, facing off with three demons. I could see their gray faces, the black eyes and the smoky red haze that surrounded their bodies and I twirled the blade in my hand, felt the smile move across my face as I just stood there.

“So you’re the demon bitch that Crowley wants so badly.” One of them, we’ll call him George, spoke up. A stout man, rough around the edges but still a demon, he was bookended by two more, we’ll say Lenny and Moe. Lenny was tall, muscular but nowhere close to the size of the boys, and Moe, well, he had that name for a reason, just odd looking and clumsy, but they were ready to fight.

“Crowley’s looking for me,” I gave them a snarky laugh, “why doesn’t that surprise me?”  I shook my head. “Everybody wants me for something, but no one is asking me.”

“Yeah you’re a really popular scank!”  Lenny replied and I looked up at him from under my lashes. 

I decided I don’t really like Lenny, and I moved quickly, faster than they could see and stuck that blade in him so far that the guard touched his blood-soaked shirt.  His face was one of pure shock that I had gotten the jump on him but as I watched him light up, seeing everything that made him, bones, muscles, blood, I shrugged.

“You should really be nice and not call people names.” I hissed through clenched teeth and back away just the demon dusted out of him and his body crumpled to the ground. Admiring the work that the blade did, I was reminded of Dean’s own demon blade, but my thoughts were interrupted by the other two in the room.

I turned on them, ready for a fight and smiled.  The dance was simple, this time, because the blade seemed to do all the work, slice and jab, slice, twirl, jab.  Just the tip until was time and then I thrust it in, and they got their licks as well, once across my jaw, the other to the stomach, but it didn’t stop me, dazed me a bit, but didn’t stop me from moving.

Moe went down rather fast, of course a knife to the back of the neck would do that to you if you fumbled on your feet and tripped past someone with said knife, but George seemed to be more of a challenge.  We circled each other, his angel blade against my God Killer, not sure who was more well-armed but it didn’t matter, I was done playing, I just wanted to go back to the couch and rest.

He came at me, swung, missed and I caught him across the chest with the blade.  He turned, swiped, catching the tip of the angel blade across my upper arm, which stung and didn’t heal, and which pissed me off as I turned and jabbed at him again, catching his gut, but still not deep enough. It was a game, a tiring game that I was done with and as he ran at me once more, thrusting his blade forward, I caught his arm under mine and brought the blade up under his jaw.

His eyes were full of horror that such a little thing had gotten him, but as his eyes locked on me, at the blood dribbled from his mouth. I shook my head.

“Tell Crowley, he can go to hell.” I growled but then remembered that this demon wasn’t going back. “Never mind,” I ripped the blade from him and watched as he lit up like a candle. “I’ll tell him myself.”

George fell into a lifeless heap on the ground, and I let my hand fall to the side, the blade suddenly weighing more than I could carry and I let my head drop forward, the red haze clearing from my vision as I took in a deep breath.  Sounds and smells surrounded me and I figured out that I was standing not only behind a bar, but one that was in Old Town, and the smell of burgers filled the air.

“Ali?”  His voice was deep, threatening and I closed my eyes at the sound of it, wanting to reach out for him, to touch, to feel the comfort but as I lifted my head, turned it to look at the alley entrance way, I saw him standing here, green eyes filled with dread, blade in hand, fist clenched for a fight and I let his name slip from my lips.

“Dean.” 


	54. DH God Killers - 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when the blades are activated and you suddenly have to deal with not only an angel but the devil as well?

**Chapter 21**

The world seemed to stand still just for a moment as I stared at Dean, the look in his eyes, one of anger and disappointment, or was that hate and uncertainty, either way I took a breath, because no matter what I did from that moment forward, from any moment since John’s death, Dean was never going to forgive me.

Slowly, I closed my eyes, knowing there was no way to win any battle that the older Winchester brought to me, because I wouldn’t fight, I would just accept what he lashed out, even if that meant death. Sound seemed to stop with that one little motion, the wind didn’t blow, the earth didn’t move and when I opened my eyes, I was staring at a wall, one that was covered in drawings, papers that were just tacked about in some obscure fashion.

“Ali?”  I heard my name once more, but this time the voice was just a bit higher and the surprise in it was more of a relief.  I turned on the spot, dropped the bloody blade from my hand and listened to it hit the floor. 

Sam stood next to the doorway, his eyes wide with confusion and I shook myself out of the daze before I drew in a deep breath.  Sound rushed at me all at once, and overwhelming hit to my ears and I reached out for him, not sure if he moved or I did, but his strong arms were wrapped tightly around my waist as his face buried into my curve of my neck, his lips danced along my skin as he sought out and found me.

His kiss was possessive, as if we had been gone for months instead of moments and I sunk into that feeling, even as the vision of his death clouded my mind.  His hand threaded up through my hair, just like mine did with his, holding us both in a spot that neither wanted to move away from and I moaned as his breath captured mine. 

The heat that turned in my stomach now sat lower and mixed with an animalistic need for him, for his touch, for his body, for  _ Sam _ ! And I dared to hold on tighter, until I felt the vibration against my leg, the way his cellphone seemed to chirp in his pocket and he pulled away, only to look down, his forehead against mine as he pulled it angrily from the confines of his jeans.

Dean’s number appeared on the screen and just to shut the thing up, Sam pressed the accept and then the speaker on the touchpad.

“Dean?”  His voice was full of two things, a question of what inspired him to call, and an anger that he was interrupted.

“Sam!” Dean growled over the line.  “Where the hell is Ali?”

“She’s standing right here,” he replied, backing away as he looked me over. 

“How long has she been there?”  Was the next question from that he barked over the phone.

“Since I walked in the door,” he grumbled, getting a little irritated.  “What the hell is going on, Man?”

“If she’s been there the whole time, how the hell did I just see her do a slice and dice on three demons behind a bar when she’s supposed to be locked away at one of Dad’s safehouses?”  I stepped back from Sam as my heart began to race and my lips trembled.  I looked down at my hands, at the blood that coated them and then over at the blade that rested on the floor. “Tell me she’s not transporting her ass around the city, cutting up monsters when Cas promised she would be safe where she was!”

I shook my head, there was no answer for him, nothing that I could say that would change what Dean had seen, what I had done and Sam’s lips became tight as his jaw clenched. 

“Where’s Danni?” I questioned, my eyes flickering between them as I suddenly remembered the massive energy transfer that had gone on between Zane and I.  “Dean, where’s Danni? Is she safe?”

“Sam,” Dean snapped, ignoring me, “you better keep a tighter leash on your girl, because if you won’t than I will!”

With that the line went dead, and my eyes focused on Cas, who moved over towards me.  “Danni wasn’t affected by the transfer, Ali, she’s fine.”

“Ali, seriously,” Sam spoke up, “did you just do what he said?  Did you kill three demons while we were gone?”

I paused only a moment, trying to gather my thoughts, and I took a deep breath before answering.

“I put my head back on the couch, I closed my eyes and the next thing I know I’m in an alley in Old Town, behind a bar, I think,” Sam stepped forward but I raised my bloody right hand and watched him stop in his tracks.  “I thought I was dreaming. I thought what was going on was just some sort of stupid sequence left over from Zane but then I saw Dean and when I opened my eyes again, I was staring at the wall.”  I looked at Cas, totally confused, because that was exactly how I felt.  “Can I do that?  Can I teleport?”

“We don’t know what kind of powers you have, Ali, that’s what worries me.” Cas replied.  “This is an unknown, you, as you are now, are an unknown player in this game.”

“It’s not a game!”  Sam snapped and stepped closer, his stare suddenly locked onto the rip in my sleeve. 

“It was a figure of speech.” Cas explained which got nothing but a dirty look from him.

“What happened?”  Sam questioned as he deposited his phone on the table and took ahold of my wrist.  I let him move the fabric out of the way to stare at the angry looking cut that marred my skin, one that was still bleeding.

“An angel blade,” I whispered, curious myself as to why it hadn’t healed and I felt his fingers slide over it.  Hissing that the pain that flowed from it, I tried to pull back from his grip, but Sam only tugged me closer, and into the bathroom, where he had me sit down.  I just let him do what he needed too, lifting my arms only to aid him in removing my shirt and listened as he sighed at the amount of blood that covered my skin. “I should shower.”

“Yeah, that might be a good idea.”  He grumbled and stood, leaving the door opened as he went and I looked out at Cas as I reached for the buttons of my jeans. 

I didn’t bother to close the door as I stripped, they would have just opened it anyway, but Cas turned around, letting me have some sort of privacy as Sam leaned against the back of the couch, staring at me as I slipped behind the plastic curtain.

The heat of the water against my skin was like needles and I clenched my teeth as I washed the blood from every part of me, scrubbed my hair until my scalp felt raw and listened to the sound of someone just on the other side of the curtain.  I closed my eyes, placed my face into the stream and stood there for just a moment, letting the pain take over.

“Does it hurt?”  Sam asked and I whirled to see him leaning against the back of the wall, just outside the shower, curtain drawn back so that he was able to look me over.

“Nothing hurts anymore,” I answered plainly and crossed my arms, rubbing the bruises on my neck, seeing the dark blue and purple marks that covered me from the last two fights, but my eyes settled on the blood that still dripped from the blade wound.  “Why hasn’t it healed?”

“Cas said it was probably because it was an angel blade, that’s all he could come up with.” Sam shrugged.  “He’s right though, you’re kind of an unknown right now, we don’t know what will hurt you and what won’t.  The worst part, we don’t know what will heal you either.  I mean, regular cuts we’ve seen, but angel blades?  What happens if Dean’s blade touches you?”

“If Dean’s blade is touching me,” I smiled, “it’s because I’m about to die.”

“Dean isn’t going to kill you, Ali,” Sam sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Look, I’m not going to let my brother hurt you, and I sure as hell am not going to sit idly by and watch Zane do whatever the hell he wants to you either.”

“Sam,” I stepped closer to him, out of the stream of water, and paused. 

Did I reach out, did I hold back but he was the one that moved, pulling a towel around me when I was near enough to do so and he tucked it under my arm I moved out of the tub.  I listened to him shut the water off as I faced the mirror and he grabbed a hand towel to wrap around the dripping wound. 

“We’re going to have to stitch it,” he whispered close to my ear as I stared into the mirror.  It had felt like forever since I had seen my own reflections and right now I didn’t feel like I was looking at me, I was seeing someone else. Bright blue, almost glowing eyes, jet black hair and such pale skin, but not sickly looking, no just pale. Even the color under my eyes, the bags that should have been there from lack of sleep were gone, and it took the heat of Sam’s lips against my temple to rip me out of the trance I was in. I stepped back, turned my head and looked up at him.  “Where did you go?”

“I just,” I started and glanced at the reflection again, “she doesn’t look like me.” I answered and left the bathroom, sensing him following behind.  “I mean, I know that’s me, I know she is me, but she doesn’t look like I feel.”

“Do you think you look bad?”  Cas questioned and it was an honest one from someone who didn’t really get the point of caring how you looked and I smiled at him. 

“I don’t recognize her.”  I shrugged and moved towards the couch, completely aware of the fact that all I was wearing was the towel.  Cas picked the bag up from the floor next to where he sat and handed it to me.  “What’s this?”

“Clothes,” he whispered, and looked away in embarrassment.  “I… I didn’t go through your underwear, I’m sorry, I didn’t grab any.”

“Thank you, Cas,” I laughed and shook my head, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, “these will work just fine.”

He nodded, stood and left the room, stepping just outside the door as I pulled on the pants under the towel.  I looked up at Sam, who watched me from where he stood next to the table. He had managed to set up a small triage area in order to take care of my arm, and still keep his eyes locked on me as I changed.

“Shirt on or off?”  I questioned, holding up the large shirt that I believed was actually his and he smiled.

“Leave the towel on for now, it will be easier.”  I nodded, made my way over to the chair and sat down. I avoided his eyes as he scooted up beside me, the heat from him was almost too much and he was almost too close, but I caught my racing heart and my breathing as his fingers slipped around my arm.  “Do you want something to dull the pain?”

“Like what? Whiskey?”  I smiled and looked around the room. “Doesn’t look like John kept any of it here.”

“I can have Cas fly out and get some.” He grinned as I finally met those blue-green eyes, but I just shook my head.  “This isn’t going to be a cakewalk, Ali, this is pretty deep.”

“The pain keeps me human, Sam.” I sighed and looked away, feeling the back of his fingers brush my cheek for just a second before he let out a breath and grabbed the threaded needle from the table.

The first initial pinch of the tip going through stung, in fact, I cried out in pain but never moved. When it passed through the muscle and out the other side, I hissed at it, but after the next two, things started to get numb, or I just was used to the pain.  It seemed to stir something in me, some primal need for contact and my hand moved from my leg to his thigh, gripping the inside seam of his jeans.

Sam cleared his throat, moved just a little bit in order to accommodate what I assume was his body’s response to my hand being so close to the bulge that was beginning to show in his jeans. I rolled my eyes as the pain suddenly came back full force and I moaned from it, firing those receptors up and I closed my eyes.

“Sam, you have to stop,” I whispered and quickly moved my hand away from him as he tied the stitch that he was working on.  I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed and all I could feel was the need that was taking over me.  “I need to breath, you have to move away.”

“Why?” he questioned, and shivered as I locked my eyes on his. 

“I want you too much,” I pleaded, “and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not going to hurt me,” his voice caught and suddenly it deepened as I began to shake.  “You tell me all the time that I won’t do any damage, and I’m telling you that you won’t hurt me.”

“It’s so much,” I could feel the tears welling up as my hand grasped the table, fingers digging into the wood.  “So much,” I sighed and my eyes went down from his, over his lips, down his neckline to where the v-neck shirt he wore exposed his chest. “I don’t have the control, Sam.”

“You don’t have to,” he reached out towards me and traced my lips with the pad of his thumb, and the heat ripped through me, “you just have to let me finish stitching you up.”

“No!” I growled and moved from the seat, pushing it back as I moved across the room. 

He didn’t feel what I did, how could he, but the need was too great, the want was too much.  Who the hell was I kidding anyway, nothing I could do to him would actually hurt, but I could be blunt and brutal and the thoughts of what he could do to me, what I wanted him to do to me would kill him.

I spotted the blade on the counter, sitting there and I felt the vibration from it from where I stood.  Sam watched my eyes lock on the handle and before I could step forward, he had it in his hand. This stopped me, the confusion probably evident on my face as he looked from me to the blade itself.

“I thought only you could weld it,” he whispered and I shook my head quickly.

“I thought so too,” I replied and slowly he put it down.

He moved closer, but my eyes were on the blade, until his hands were on my face. I felt the rush of heat that spread from his touch to the spot where it pooled hot and wet and I moaned into his kiss. I wanted to push him off but when I grasped his shirt, it was only to tug him in.

His hands slide from my face, one gripping the back of my neck, moving up to tangle in my hair and the other pressed against the small of my back, bringing me in until there was nothing separating us. I heard him give a low growl, deep in his throat as he stepped backwards, moving to the small bedroom that was off just to the right of the kitchen.

When he spun me around, he reached out and blindly kicked the door shut as he backed me up towards the bed.  In a rush, I felt the towel fall way and the sweats that were already loose on me stripped off before he rested me down on the mattress, his weight pressing me against it from the waist down.  I could feel his need through the stretch of the course material that he wore, and wondered how the zipper ever held when he was that excited.

His mouth branded as he moved, his hand tucked under my neck as his thumb and pointer held my chin, keeping me right where he wanted, and I closed my eyes as I turned my head, exposing more of my neck to him. I pulled at his shirt, wanting more skin on skin contact and managed to get it off with very little effort, but as I went for the belt, I felt him growl against my collarbone.

“Sam,” I huffed, angry that I was being denied but turned on that he was in control. He laughed as he marked me with small nips of his teeth, a feeling that sent chills over my skin and heat racing between my legs. I lifted my hips, trying to make contact with what I wanted most, and wrapped my legs around his, pinning him to me.  My fingers gripped his hair as he teased and licked at my nipples, getting more than a whimper from me.  “I need you.”

“You need me,” he whispered, coming back up to hover over me, his lips just a breath from mine as he free hand smoothed over the length of my body, down my ribs and over my hips, those fingers sliding between us as he then teased the wet folds, flicking at the over sensitive nub and I rolled my eyes as pushed up against the fingers that explored.  “You need me where?”

“Oh,” I whispered as he slipped a finger in and curled it around to strike against the spot just inside my core, a feeling that had me arching up as I pressed down on that finger, “God, Sam!”

His mouth began its travels once more, this time following a straight line down to tease along my navel, as a second finger joined the first and my world started to spin.  I tugged on those locks, not sure if I wanted him to come back up so I could kiss him, or push him lower so he could kiss me… elsewhere, but when I looked down at the darkened blue-green of his eyes, I knew that no matter what I wanted, he was going to do whatever he desired.

“I want you to shake,” he whispered as he knelt down on the floor, where my knees bent, and his lips moved to my thighs, little shocks of pain went through me as his teeth snapped down on the skin there.

If he wanted it, he certainly was getting it because as he whispered, he blew hot breath on an even hotter spot and it made my toes curl as his tongue flicked out and my hands went from his head to the sheets beneath me.  I bit down on my lip, hoping to stifle the cry that built up in me as he captured me with his mouth, bringing the heat up once again.  He teased and tortured for what felt like forever as I moved against his fingers, and his tongue before he suddenly took the wet heat of his lips away and came back up to claim mine once again. 

I could taste myself on him and as strange as it was, it did wild things to me that I didn’t really understand,Sam flipped me on the bed, not that I put up much of a fight, but I felt his thighs against my own as his hands moved up my back, caressing both my arms as he took my wrist and raised them above my head. 

Holding me with one hand, with it gripped around my tiny wrists, his weight pressed me against the bed and I felt him reach down with his free hand, press the tip against me and suddenly push in.  I buried my face into the comforter as he moved against me, his hips slamming up against my cheeks as he drove deep and hard and as much as it sent shocks through my body, it was probably the most amazing thing I had ever felt.

His fingers spread across the small of my back moved down until his thumb was pressed against me and he thrust the pad of it in without preparation and the burning feeling that made me hiss as he continued to thrust deep in both openings, was replaced by pure ecstasy.  It was pain and pleasure all at once as he put his forehead on the spot between my shoulders, pushing up and in as fast as he could, alternating between himself in one and his thumb in the other and I knew I couldn’t take much more.

He was just about at the edge of his will to hold back and quickly he moved, removing himself with one swift motion and again I found myself on my back.  He had released my wrists, grabbed my hips with both his hands as he positioned himself, before bringing his lips crushing down on my mouth, something I was waiting for, needing, and as soon as I moved my hands from the sheets and up under his arms to grip his shoulders, he was slipping inside me again.

I tilted my head back, breaking the connection as he thrust forwards, filling me completely and his teeth bit down on the side of my neck, in his favorite spot.  This time he wasn’t gentle, he had me pinned to the bed, his mouth holding my shoulder down, his body pressing in and around me I dug my fingers into the muscles of his back as I wrapped my legs around his waist, moving the angle so that he could go deeper, to satisfy the rage that was filling me at the same time he was.

His pace was hard, fast and deep and I felt every touch until it built up to where I couldn’t take it anymore.  I moaned through clenched teeth and pressed his head down, letting him dig those teeth deeper as he sucked on the skin there, branding me. Marking me as his was what Dean had called it before.  I  _ was  _ his, I had never not been  _ his _ ! I had just never known what I was missing him from my life and with that thought, the one of letting him take complete control of my heart, body and soul, I was sent careening over the edge and I sure as hell was taking him with me.

Sam stiffened as he pushed with short movement, taking his mouth from my skin as he moaned close to my ear. I heard him almost growl at his release and slowly came to rest, his arms bent at the elbows as he propped himself up, but put his forehead down just below my chin.

I relaxed my legs, just a little, closed my eyes and pressed one hand to the back of his head, the other across his shoulders and I felt him move, slipping his arms behind me as he gathered me up, turned his head to the side and placed his cheek against my chest, listening to the beat of my heart.  I let myself relax, let his weight and warmth comfort me, let it take the demons from my mind and I noticed how silent it had become within the confines of my mental walls.  I couldn’t help but smile because he seemed to protect me from myself on the inside as well as out.

I felt him shift around, kick off his shoes, shimmy out of the rest of his jeans and he scooped me up, maneuvering the both of us around on the bed as he turned me on my side and pressed up close behind me, wrapping his arms and legs around my body. I felt the warmth of his breath against my ear as he shifted my hair aside and let his lips linger there.

“I love you,” he said softly and I shifted backwards towards him. “I’m going to protect you from this.”

I let out a breath, just one before I turned over and faced him, my arms tucked up against his chest as he stared down at me.

“What if you can’t?” I questioned, “what if I can’t even protect myself from this, Sam, how are you going to save me when I’m not sure I can save myself?”

“I don’t know, Ali, but I’m never going to let you go, and I’m never going to stop trying, you know that.” And I did, I really did know that Sam would be the one that had a hold on me forever, but there was so much that neither of us knew, hell, none of us knew, even Cas.  I snuggled closer as his hold tightened and his chin rested against the top of my head.  “Get some rest, then I’ll get my stuff and we’ll research the hell out of this, there has got to be answers somewhere.”

“You’re right,” I whispered, trying to convince myself that he really was, but deep down I knew that there were only two ways this could possibly end, one with Dean and one with Cas, either way, I wasn’t making it out of this unscathed.  I pressed my hand to his heart, and prayed that when it did end, that I wasn’t there to feel it breaking.

~~~~~

Cas was standing outside the front door, on the small porch that John had built, or Asmodeus, whichever had taken over to craft the cabin, and he was staring up at the stars when I stepped out beside him.  Sam was resting, though I was sure he wasn’t sleeping, and I tugged the blanket that I had wrapped myself in tighter around me as I also took in a deep breath of the night air and looked up at the specks of light in the sky.

“I killed three demons today, in an alley that I didn’t even know I was in,” I sighed and bit angrily on the inside of my lip, “I sucked the power right out of Zane and I could have killed you. Cas, the hell am I becoming?”

“My best guess,” he sighed, and out of the corner of my eye, I watched him shift his weight before he turned to look at me, “something not unlike a Nephilim, expect much more powerful.”

“Okay, so my guess is that this probably the most accurate description either of us is going to come up with but,” I turned to look at him, “Why the good and evil side, aren’t they all just angels?  I mean even if I was the spawn of some Prince of Hell and Danni was your… boss, or whatever’s, love child, how is it possible for it to be split?”

“That I have no idea on,” he sighed and reached out, gently moving the blanket to look at the wound on my arm.  “But the fact that you’re not healing from the angel blade tells me that you have some sort of angelic power in you, it’s just a bit twisted.”

“Great,” I shook my head and turned back to look up at the sky, “that’s just perfect.”

“Ali, what we talked about,” he started and I could see his lips tighten, “you know that the possibility of it working to the extent that you desire is… well, there’s no guarantee it will work at all.”

“Then we’ll figure out something else,” I replied and tugged the blanket tighter, “until then we’re sticking with the plan.”

“I don’t think it’s…” he started but I turned and looked at him.

“It’s either this or Dean is going to kill me, so take your pick, Feathers, cause one way or the other, this isn’t going to end well.”  I watched him pull a Dean move, roll his eyes so hard that his head went with him and he turned away from me as I stepped off the porch into the growing darkness.

“Don’t wander too far, the dampening spells only work to an extent,” he snapped back as if he were my keeper and I waved my hand in the air, moving just past the light from the dingy cabin windows.

I stepped through the trees, looking at the lights ahead of me, curious to see why there were so many of them when we were miles away from anyone else but as I cleared the tree line, I stopped dead in my tracks.

“No. Freaking. Way!” I stated aloud as I stared at the sleek, black contours of the Impala in front of me. 


	55. DH God Killer - 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, goody, Dean with a blade in the dark, what could possibly go wrong there!

**Chapter 22**

My first thought was to turn around and go back to the cabin, to run away, to  _ not _ be this close to the man with the demon blade. But the pull in my veins to step closer outweighed everything that my mind was telling me to do and I felt myself move forward, not like I was stepping with my own feet but just levitating and moving closer to the car.

I could see Sam’s Charger still parked behind her, both of them silent and waiting to be driven, but it was the voices in the room that attracted me and when the movement stopped, I was standing with my back to the wall, the window just to my right. I closed my eyes at the smells that came from the room, the scent of a woman’s body wash, the steam that had just left the bathroom as if the door had just opened, a man’s cologne and under that, everything that made him Dean. 

I shook off the feeling of wanting to open the door, wanting to run my fingers down his cheek, over his hand, and I raised my own to press my fingers against the stitches in my arm, the pain instantly bringing me back to reality and away from the world of Dean and Danni, and what surrounded them.

I could hear her voice in my head, not so much out loud, but more like a whisper, and I inched just a bit closer to see if I really was hearing what I thought I was.  Latin words carried through thought-waves.  It was the reason for the pull, and the little bit of pain just at the edge of it.  Danni was chanting a spell and I shook my head. Less adept at Latin pronunciation that I was, which Sam still swore I needed to work on, Danni fumbled with a few words and I found myself smiling because I knew just what she was doing.

A binding spell.

“What the hell, Danni,” Dean snapped and I cringed at the bite in his voice, but also my heart raced.  Why the hell did I respond to him that way?  “What are you doing?”  I heard the book rustle, as if he had removed it forcefully from her hands and I could smell the way the smoke plumbed from the candle that he put out.  “Magic? You’re playing with magic?  We don’t know what these powers are doing to you now, let alone adding in some magic binding spell to keep them from ramping up.”

“It wasn’t for me,” she answered back and I could feel the tension in the room from where I stood. “it was for Ali.”

“Ali?” He huffed. “Perfect!” The book slammed down on the table. “She goes on a killing spree,” (three demons, Dean, it was three demons), “and your answer is a binding spell? To do what, keep her from going dark side.” I wished I could look in just to see their faces, but it was all in the tone of his voice. “I’m sorry to say I think that ship has sailed. You didn’t see her eyes, Dan, there’s no going back from where she is.”

“I’m not going to believe that,” Danni answered and the book opened once again, I could hear the way she roughly turned the page.  “We’re bound by this… whatever this AO3 thing is, I can feel her, there is still some of Ali left in her, still something to be saved.”

“You didn’t…” the frustration in his voice escalated and he let out a sigh.  “Look, I know you’re not going to believe me, Danni, and that’s fine, but this is what we do, we hunt monsters, and it she’s becoming one…”

“Then it’s because of a spell, Dean, because of a freaking prophecy that is affecting me too.” Now my morbid curiosity was peaked and I pulled the blanket tighter as I crossed my arms.  How was it changing her?  “Every minute, I can feel the build-up, like this energy just needs to escape me, and it scares the hell out of me because what if it’s like hers? What if it’s dangerous?”

“I haven’t seen anything dangerous from you.” He acknowledged and the pages stopped flipping.  “Your eyes haven’t changed, your power hasn’t surged and you certainly haven’t gone around ganking any monsters while teleporting miles away from where you’re supposed to be.   _ She _ has!”

“I found something,” she stated and I heard his boots even on the carpeted floor move closer to her.  “The book actually talks about the blades, and the powers that we have.”

“Right,” Dean sighed in disbelief, “because in all the hours we’ve been researching this, the answers would be in a book of magic.”

“The last place you’d look as always,” she replied. “According to the book, the darkness will envelope the one that holds it, going right down to the soul if necessary to bind with that person, to make them the ultimate weapon.”

“Yeah, I think we’re seeing that already.”

“Actually, we’re not.”

“She stuck a blade in my father’s heart, how much more Sith does she have to go to convince you?”  Dean’s anger was rising.

“Her soul is still there, Dean,” Danni reassured him, “I can feel it.”

“How? How can you feel a soul?”

“The light will be stronger still, filled with the secrets of the angels, a beacon in the night for the carrier. The light will find the source that devours it, but unless they stand together, it will win.” She answered by reading from the text.  “Now my Latin is sketchy at best but does that sound like she’s going to pull a Norman Bates and kill you in the shower?”

“I’m not putting anything past her, not right now.” He sighed and while standing there, I realized that every answer he gave put a little more of a smile on my face. Yes, the anger, the hatred, that was what I wanted from him and I could feel the warmth growing around me, the air thickening.  Did  _ he _ realize the power he had? Did he know that everything he felt was almost like a trigger, setting off whatever was inside me? While Danni finally knew her place in this whole warped game of chess, Dean was still unsure of his.  “I’m going out for a smoke, I need a minute.”

_ Thanks for the warning, Dean _ . I grinned and silently made my way towards the edge of the building, disappearing around the corner.  I listened to him step out towards the car, listened to the Zippo flick open and the flint strike.  I could smell the scent of his cigarette and listened to the way he exhaled, and I closed my eyes, placing my head back against the wall.

A moment past, the sound of him taking it in, and breathing it out filled me, and I felt the beat of my heart slow as I concentrated on that sound, let it fill me, until the scent of him was too close and I could feel the cold metal edge of a blade against the skin of my throat.

“Do it,” I whispered, keeping my eyes closed as I suddenly felt the heat of his body. He was pressing against me, keeping me locked to the wall, my arms crossed under his weight and the security of the blanket.  I wasn’t a threat to him, but when I opened my eyes, I could almost see the light in him, the way his blood flowed and I blinked it away as fast as I could, and then repeated my words. “Do it.”

“Do you really have that much of a death wish?” He questioned and I felt his resolve falter, my heart dropped, and I licked the dryness of my lips, breathing in deeply to take him in.  “What are you doing here?”

“I was called here,” I whispered and my eyes flashed towards the corner of the building.  “Her binding spell, her thoughts, they called out to me.  Your heart… its beat, I can hear it in my head.”

“And the demons?”  His teeth clenched as he shifted his weight.

“I’m not sure how that happened,” I admitted but I leaned forward towards the blade, feeling the pinch of the steel, and couldn’t stop the quiet moan that escaped me.  Damn the pain, and my hand found the stitches under the blanket.  “Do it, Dean, you know you want to.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” he whispered, and his free hand, the one that had been touching the wall down near my hip moved up to brace against the wall near my head. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes and I moved my body, pushing it away from the wall, closer to his, needing the contact.

“That’s a loaded crock of bull!” I growled and felt the blade move. I closed my eyes as I watched him slip it in the belt behind his back and shook my head. “Dean.” It was only a whisper, a plea for help but I could hear his heart pick up, the beat strong, steady but faster. “Just end it, I can’t do this anymore. I’ve hurt you, and Danni, I’m pretty sure at some point I’m going to hurt Sam.”

“Where is Sam?” Always the protective older brother, but his movement brought him closer to me.  “What did you do to him?”

“I left him in bed if I remember correctly,” I felt the grin curl up on my lips at the thought of Sam’s teeth against my neck and I tilted my head to feel the pull against the bruise. His hand came up, the one that had stowed the blade and he pulled the collar of my shirt down, his warm fingers brushing my skin as he curled them around the fabric.

“Dammit, Sammy!” He growled under his breath and released the shirt, but his hand lingered, slowly, debating on whether to move and suddenly the pads of his fingers traced my jaw. “You need to leave.”

“Gladly, except for one small problem,” I shrugged as I leaned into that touch.  Dammit all, why did I need this, what the hell was the sensation that he was pulling at and  _ why  _ Dean, why someone connected so close to Danni?

“And that is?” My eyes came up to meet his, locking blue to green.

“YOU have me pressed against a wall, you’re blocking my way out.” I said in a smartass voice and watched as he gave a little sarcastic shake of his head before moving his body back, but the hands never moved, not the one against the wall, not the ones that rested on the curve of my neck.  “By the end of this, you’re not going to hesitate with that blade.”

His eyes came up as he pushed back so that his elbow locked, giving me just enough space to duck under if I wanted to, but I wasn’t ready to break that connection yet. 

“What makes you so sure?” He sighed and his fingers danced against the thump of my jugular, like they were keeping time. 

“Because if you don’t hate me for John’s death now,” I watched his eyes fill with darkness, and I knew that he felt something for me, something like rage at the mention of his name, “you will before this is over.”

He swallowed, moved his fingers and pushed his body far enough away that there would be no contact as I walked by him, but I wasn’t going to make it that easy for him.  However, I had forgotten about the injury and when my arm brushed his, I winced, made a small noise, probably nothing more than a quick intake, but that was all that he needed.

His hand was on my arm, gripping my lower one though the towel and he turned me.  With a roughness that sent heat through every part of me, his eyes locked on mine as he tugged down the blanket and his fingers seared into my skin, bringing the stitches into the light. He inspected the wound, the way that it still bled just a little and I saw the anger on his face as he gave me a little shake and dropped my arm.

“Angel blade from the alley,” I whispered, answering his unspoken questioned, “so yes,  _ your _ blade will make sure I don’t come back to haunt you.”

“Ali!” The sound of my name on his lips sent chills up me as I started to move away, not stopping as he stood there and, if I only could imagine, clenched his fists in anger.

“Tell Danni not to do anymore spells,” I replied without looking back as I stopped at the tree line, “they hurt.”

And with that I stepped through the thick brush, pushed aside the branches and found myself looking up at the cabin once more, this time it wasn’t just Cas standing on the porch, but Sam as well, his movements telling me that he was just this side of annoyed and pissed off, but as I moved closer, I watched his brow relax.

“Where did you go?” He questioned, looking at the way the blanket hung from my arm.

“The motel,” I shrugged answering honestly and I heard the shrill ring of Sam’s cell from where we stood. “That would be your brother,” I whispered and placed my hand on his stomach as he looked down. “Looks like you need a shorter leash.”

Sam rolled his eyes, following me into the building as I made my way towards the table and sat down.  He watched me with some curiosity, but as he picked up the phone and put it to his ear, his lips tightened and he looked away.

“Yeah?” He questioned and shook his head, “yeah, Dean, I got her,” he paused for a moment and gave a little sigh, “yeah, when I’m ready to bring her back!”  He shifted his weight in anger and rolled his eyes, coming to rest locked in my own.  “Listen, Dean, know what I’m doing, and yeah, I got her, and I know about the cut, I stitched it up, so get off my back.”  I wanted to smile, but I watched as Cas walked into the room, glanced at the back of Sam’s head as the taller man put hand on his hip, and then walked over to me.  “Fine, just keep doing what you’re doing.  Yeah… whatever!”

Sam pressed the end icon and raised the phone up as if he were about to throw it, but slowly set it down on the table.  Cas crouched beside me, his fingers going up to the blanket as he moved it from my arm, and I watched the two men exchange glances.

“Sam and I were talking,” Cas started and I raised a brow in his direction, “if this were a Nephilim situation, then my powers should be able to heal this.”

“Yeah, you would think that mine would have taken care of it too, but it didn’t,” I replied and watched the blue eyes of the angel come up to lock on mine. “Fine, do what you got to.”

Cas reached out, placed his palm against my arm and pressed down on the wound.  Just the touch seemed to set me off because of the pain but I could feel the heat start to rise up as his hand began to glow.  My eyes flickered, the heat turned to a searing feeling, as if the skin was being burnt from my muscles and I clenched my teeth. The smoky red vision swirled around Sam as it got more intense and suddenly it felt as if I were about to go up in flames.

“Cas! Stop!” I begged though my teeth as my fingers dug into the arms of the hair, but Cas had his eyes closed, concentrating on the wound, searching inside to repair the damage, but the burning was spreading, rising up my arm and into my neck.  Just as it touched the nerves in my spine, it sent me through the roof. “STOP!”

With that one word, I felt my power gather and suddenly Cas was sliding across the floor as if he had been pushed by an invisible force.  I lowered my head, beads of sweat pearling on every exposed surface as I looked at him through my hair.  His face was filled with shock and I did my best to find a way to control my breathing, or more the panting sound, that escaped my lungs.

I rolled my eyes back behind my lids as I sat back in the chair and felt the blood seep down my arm. It hadn’t touched it at all.  Once everything in me was settled, I managed to open my eyes and look over at the angel, who was now sitting up a bit more, staring at me as if I were something he had never seen before.

“I’m sorry, Cas,” I managed to get out in a weak voice and he nodded, accepting my apology and I looked up at Sam, who took in a deep breath before stalking over to me. He crouched down where Cas had been, took my arm gently and inspected the stitches.  Nothing the angel had done had improved the cut, and all of the energy he had spent on me, I had pushed back when my own power surged.  “Let’s go back.”

“What?” Sam questioned, his gaze coming up to mine. “Why would you want to do that?”

“What good is it doing being here if I can still teleport or whatever and kick Cas in the chest with a thought?”  I let out a small sigh.  “Look, it was a good idea, thinking that John had put something up to keep these powers contained, but what if the dampening spells were just there to keep Cas from finding out the blades were here, to keep the vibrations from attracting… us?”

“Ali, you don’t know what’s going to happen if you go back there,” Sam whispered, and I watched the concern cross his face, but I reached out and traced his jaw with my fingertips.

“No, sweetheart, I know exactly what will happen,” I shrugged, “whatever is meant to be, it’s going to come about whether I’m sitting in some dusty old cabin, or a rat-hole motel.”  I sat forward and kissed him softly on the forehead, before he tilted his head up to accept my kiss. I stopped, a breath away from contact and closed my eyes. “No matter what happens, Sam, I will never stop loving you.”

“I know,” he sighed softly and closed the distance, our lips connecting for just a moment, like two puzzle pieces slotting together.

Sam sat back and watched as I pushed myself up from the chair, glancing over in Castiel’s direction.  When Sam rose, he too looked at the angel, but offered him a hand to pull him up. Cas accepted and with Sam’s help was upright in not time. 

That was when I notice the blade on the table, scooped it up and headed for the bathroom. Closing the door lightly behind me, I turned on the sink and stood in front of the mirror.  The blade seemed to vibrate in my hand and as I held the handle tightly, I watched the way the steel seemed to shimmer in the light.  Down one side were the Latin words for “Protector of Good, Destroyer of Evil,” and on the other, “God Killers” blued out so that the metal looked stained, but down by the guard, under the pad of my thumb was the AO3 symbol that we still hadn’t cracked the meaning for.

My breath caught as I reached for the sharp edge of the blade.  I laid my fingers down on it and pressed, feeling the nip of the cut, but I pressed down further, digging into my own flesh as I slid it from guard to tip.  It should have stung, it should have bled, but it didn’t do either, in fact it felt as if I had run it on a dull edge. I expected something as tiny as a papercut, but instead, as I lifted my fingers to inspect them, I saw untouched skin.

Oh, this could be a very bad thing. I opened my palm, placed the sharp edge along my skin, took a deep breath and ripped the blade down and away. I closed my eyes, expecting the pain and the blood as I did this but when I opened them, there was nothing, not even the tiniest scratch, but my only thought was “huh”, and I hated Sam at that moment.

Maybe I didn’t do it right?  Maybe I misjudged the angle of the blade, so this time, with eyes wide open, I slid it across my skin, purposely going hard and deep but still it came up unscathed.

“Well, holy hell!”  I stated aloud, pretty shocked, and I flung the bathroom door open. Sam and Cas stood by the couch, both looking at me very confused as I walked towards them, blade in hand I could see the worry creep up on Sam’s face. “Watch this!”

I placed the blade against the meaty side of my arm and ran it across.

“No!” Sam screamed as he stepped forward, catching my wrist, but his concern was replaced by shock as he looked at the unmarked skin.  “What the hell, Ali?”

“I know, right?”  I grinned and looked past him to Castiel.  “I figured it out, you know why it says that only the chosen ones can wield them.” Cas walked over, stepping up beside Sam and looked down as I smiled. “Want me to do it again?”

“Don’t,” Sam sighed, not able to deal with seeing that again, and he raised his hand to push the blade down towards the table.  “Please, don’t.  We saw it, Ali, no need for a heart attack repeat.”  His gaze turned to Cas, who was still inspecting my skin.  “What do you think, Cas, could that be what it meant?”

“It certainly seems that way, there isn’t a hair out of place from where the blade moved.” Cas looked into my eyes as he pondered something, and I say ponder only in Castiel’s case because it’s just that kind of look he gets. “However, if the blades are meant to be used by the chosen ones, and not on them, do they have other properties?”

“I’ve been wondering that myself,” I spoke up just as giddy as I could get and I raised the blade, watching the stress form on Sam’s face, as he moved, just a little dance that told me he would be on me in an instant if I decided that cutting myself was the best way out.

I held up a finger, hoping to hold him off, as I purposely showed him that I flipped it so the flat end was going towards my skin, symbols and Latin clearly visible. With a deep breath, I placed it over the wound, pressed down as hard as I could without causing too much pain and prayed that I didn’t black out.  I waited, probably longer than I should have, for something to happen, but disappointed, I opened my eyes and glanced back and forth between Sam and Cas.

“Okay, so maybe I was wr…” just as I was about to finish my sentence, a shooting pain flashed under the blade, something so intense that I fell straight to my knees but I couldn’t move the blade from my skin.

Sam’s hands were on my shoulders as I tried to breathe through clenched teeth, letting my head drop back, the man in front of me holding me up. It was as if everything inside the wound was knitting itself shut, like the stitches that Sam had put in were a thousand times smaller but that many times more and Cas’ fingers slipped below the palm of my free hand, letting me grasp onto him as he moved down beside me. Finally, my fingers uncurled from the hilt, letting the blade drop to the floor between us, and I brought my head forward, leaning the top of it against Sam’s chest.  

“Son of a bitch!” I snapped as I tried to catch my breath.

I felt Sam’s arm come up from my shoulder, his hand pressing against the back of my head as the other moved over my arm. There was no pain.  WAIT! There was no anything, and I turned my head just a little to see what the boys were looking at as Cas’ fingers joined Sam’s against my skin.

“It’s gone,” Cas whispered.

“Gone? What do you mean gone?” I said as I pushed back, getting hit with a wave of dizziness that sent my hand searching for the man in front of me, but when my haze cleared I was able to look down at the untouched skin where the gash had been before. The only evidence there was any wound at all was the small pieces of thread that stuck out from where the stitches were.  “Okay, that’s new.”

“So, not only will the blades not hurt you, they’ll heal you too,” Sam’s fingers tugged at the stitch, pulling it free and I giggled at the tickle from it.

“Well, that’s an interesting turn of events,” Cas answered and I looked up at both of them.

“Can we go now?” I questioned as I caught each of their eyes.  Cas met Sam’s gaze and the two of them exchanged some sort of nonverbal communication before Sam took my hand and helped me to my feet, letting me snatch the blade up before I was fully upright.

“Cas, maybe you should take me back first, so I can let them know we’re coming,” Sam sighed and curiosity captured me.

“You have a phone, text him.” I replied and Sam shook his head.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea, this is Dean we’re talking about.” He did have a point and I released my hold as Cas placed a hand on his shoulder and the two of them popped out of the room.

With a sigh, I looked around the cabin, at everything that was packed into the one little bag that Cas had brought my clothes in, Sam had burned my other pair, and I slipped the knife into the waist of the sweats I was wearing, hoping it would stay up, as the nerves began to grow.

How was I going to be that be that close to Dean, how was I going to work around Danni? Why did I agree to go back?

Just as I was about to change my mind, to take off running, Cas popped back in the room and extended a hand. I closed my eyes as I slipped mine into his palm and listened to the sound of wings.


	56. DH God Killers - 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you think something with the name God Killer attached to it, is going to be a walk in the park, I think you’re sadly mistaken, sweetheart.

**Chapter 23**

We stood outside the motel room, the door slightly open and I felt Cas’ hand on the small of my back, a little bit of support as I suddenly felt the energy that the ones inside let off.  With a deep breath, I took a step forward and as Cas and I moved in, I could feel the air immediately thicken.  Sam stood by the dresser, his arms crossed as he leaned, Dean sat on the bed, leaning over to tie his boot as he glanced up at me, sending me some sort of warning with his eyes, but it was the glare that I got from Danni that made my turn in my spot.

Cas’ hands were on my waist, as I gripped his shirt, looking up at him. “I changed my mind.”

“Ali,” Cas whispered, but it seemed like more of a confused questioned.

“I can’t be by them,” I tried to keep it between him and I but I knew that all three sets of eyes were on me.  “It’s too loud.”

“What “it”?”

“Never mind,” I huffed and closed my eyes, gathering what I could to protect myself and them and slowly turned back to look them over again. 

Dean had gone back to what he was doing, Danni seemed to be flipping through the book and Sam, he gave me a slight grin and a gesture with his hand to come to him.  Slowly letting go of Cas, who had become an anchor, I crossed the floor until I had my arms wrapped around the younger Winchester. I took a deep breath, letting the smell of Sam just take over and I could feel my body relax.

“Okay,” Dean spoke up, and I turned my head just to watch him as he straightened. “So, she’s back, now what?”

“Now we figure out how to keep her safe,” Sam replied and his fingers ran up my back.

“Which means?” 

“We break out the books, search the archives,” Sam shrugged and I closed my eyes.

“So, instead of finding out just what we’re up against, we’re going to sit on our asses and read?”  Dean stated, the irritation dripped from his voice and I turned in Sam’s arms to look at him.

“No,” I said softly and shook my head, “you don’t have to sit on your ass at all.” I answered and watched him stand up, his body ready for a fight.  “Let’s go, you and me.” He stared at me confused.  “You’re so hellbent on wanting to fight something, let me show you where you can find it.”

“You’re going to show me?” He smiled, crossing his arms.  “Kid, you do realize how long I’ve been in this business right? I could find demonic signs with my eyes closed.”

“And I can find demons with my eyes wide open.”  Dean stopped for a moment and I felt Sam shift behind me.

“What do you mean you can find them?” Sam spoke up.

“Let’s just say that demons aren’t just black eyes to me.” I stepped away from him, turning to glance up at his eyes and shrugged.  “Listen, Sam, I can’t sleep, I don’t think I could even try so if the Lone Ranger here needs to go out and fight the bad guys, he might as well get some help.”  I heard Dean give a little “pfft” as Sam smiled at the annoyance on Dean’s face.  “I have to get out and do something, I can’t watch you guys just sit and read a book.”

“What about us?”  Danni questioned, but I knew it was more of a what about me.

“You wanna come along, by all means.” I replied and that was when Sam’s hand came up to my neck.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”  He whispered lowly.

“I don’t think anything… ever, is a good idea but if she wants to fight,” I shrugged and looked at Dean, who wasn’t sure what to think, “who am I to stop her?”

“Okay, now wait just a minute,” Dean spoke up and I faced him again.  “We can’t just go out and find demons, Ali, there’s got to be some reason for them to be here.”

“There is,” Cas spoke up. “The solstice is only a few days away, Zadimus will be gathering forces, demon forces to back his reign.  We know the blades won’t hurt the girls, but we don’t know what they’ll do to demons.

“I do,” Dean growled and my eyes caught his as he stared me down hard. I gave a slight eye roll and a shake of my head. “So, where are they?”

I rubbed the back of my head and glanced up at Sam, “got a map?”

“Yeah,” he sighed softly and moved towards the bag on the side of the dresser.  Clearing off the kitchen table as much as he could, moving books to the dresser and coffee cups to the trash, he brought out the map that he had snatched of Winchester, Virginia.  “What are we looking at?”

I took a deep breath as I looked over the lines that made up the city limits, felt the heat rise in the back of my neck as I stared at the map but the more the heat rose into my skull the more I found myself staring at one particular spot.  A street called Fairmont Avenue, and I placed a hand to the side of my head as I reached out and placed my finger on the map, but as I did, a drop of blood splashed onto to the paper.

“Stop!” Sam suddenly snatched my hand from the paper and turned me away from the map as I felt the red vision flashed through me and I could suddenly see his veins.  “Ali, you have to stop, all you’re doing is hurting yourself.”

“That’s never happened,” I whispered and used the back of my hand to press up against my nose.  Cas handed me tissue and I wiped away the rest, but I could see the blood on the back of my hand and shivered. “They’re there, and they’re not alone.”

“What do you mean not alone?”  Dean’s voice vibrated through me.  “How many are there?”

“I don’t know, but I do know that Zane is, or was, there too.”  I sighed and wiped once more, making sure the bleeding had stopped before I turned to look at him.  “If we’re going, we need to go soon.”

“Now I’m starting to agree with Sammy, I don’t think this is such a good idea.”  Dean raised a brow as he started me down.  “You don’t look good, Kid, seriously and if even trying to locate them is making you bleed then something ain’t right.  You don’t need to go running headlong into it to prove a point.”

“I don’t have a point to prove, Dean, I just need an out.”  I stated softly, and moved past him, brushing my shoulder against his arm and I walked out of the room.  Outside, I breathed in the night air.  How the hell was it still night anyway? Did these things never end?  Could we just get it over with already?  I leaned on the Charger, crossing my arms over my chest as I stared up at the sky.

I could smell him before I could see him and I closed my eyes, because why was he so far up my ass that every time I turned around, he was right there.  I heard his boots stop, the flick of the lighter and the suddenly smell of the American Spirits that floated in the air. I swore half the time he didn’t smoke them but had to have something in his hands.

“You’re not going to run off and do something stupid, are you?” His voice a little past annoyed.

“You mean pop off and go after them myself?”  I replied, finally opening my eyes to look at him, but I gave him a little shrug.  “What if I did? What would you do?”

“Al!” he growled and looked over at the building beside us.  “This isn’t a soap opera, no one’s going to come back from this.  And it certainly isn’t your show were nothing ever truly dies. We don’t have God and Amara looking over us, or angels that can pull us from hell.”

“Then how did you get out? Sam?  Wasn’t that an angel, or a demon? Something supernatural wanted the two of you planted pretty firmly on the ground, so explain to me how this isn’t anything like the show?” 

“You won’t come back if you do this, you know that.  Nothing comes back from a demon blade, hell, nothing ever returns when ganked by an angel blade either, so if you think something with the name  _ God _ Killer attached to it, is going to be a walk in the park, I think you’re sadly mistaken, sweetheart.”

“I’m glad you think so.” I kicked off the car and moved further away from the building, further into the darkness and felt him follow, stopping dead when I turned towards him.  “I don’t get it Dean, I mean, I do get the whole shorter leash thing, but why you? Why are you following me?”

“Because Sammy trusts you not to just pop off and disappear,” he growled, leaning down to close the distance, “me, not so much.  You know where they are, who’s to say you haven’t got it in your head to go out and do something stupid.”

“If I plan on doing anything  _ stupid _ , Dean, you’d be the first to know.”  I went to move away but his fingers came up and brushed my cheek, and his touch stopped me instantly. I swallowed hard as it moved down from there to my neck, over my shoulder and finally to the point where he held my hand.  I licked my lips as I looked down at his hand holding mine gently.  “I can’t promise anything, Dean, I have no control over it. I didn’t expect it the first time, when I showed up in the parking lot here, I was called. I heard Danni’s voice, I followed your heart beat, so whatever happens next… I can only promise you one thing.”

“What’s that?” he questioned, close to my ear, his forehead almost touching my temple. 

“You’re the only one that gets to stab me with a blade,” I smiled but I felt the air leave his lungs as I shook him loose and headed for the diner across the way. 

I could feel him still there, still keeping an eye on me as I finally made my way to the diner door, but as I pulled it open, expecting to be popped away to someplace different, I found myself a little disappointed when I stepped right into the crowded place.  It was God only knows what time of night and here they were packed with people.  At least, that was what I thought until I got a good look around.

Grey faces and black eyes surrounded me, as I moved towards the back of the building, one of them even raised a cup in my direction, giving me a smile as if I couldn’t see what I was looking at.  Trying to remain calm, I slid in and waited.  The waitress, a stunning blonde walked up and placed a mug on the table, filled it with the potent, black, diner coffee, probably burnt, and then smiled before she walked away.

The blade in my boot began to warm, as if it wanted something, power, blood, just to be wielded, but I remained sitting even as my vision vibrated, and I slowly sipped on the hot coffee, needing the burn from it to stay focused, but that was until I heard the small noise that hit the table, like a drop of water in a tap and I looked down at the red that sat there, one… two… three drops and my finger went to my nose.

Taking it away, I looked at the crimson color against my skin and grabbed a napkin but when I turned back, when I looked up from the holder, I saw the man who sat across from me. I sat back quickly, watching his hand reach out, and he dabbed a napkin against my nose, catching the last drop of blood before it landed on the table.  Sitting back, Zane smiled and brought the tissue towards his face, inhaling the copper scent on the flimsy material.

“Go away!”  I snapped at him and watched as he did nothing but give me a large grin.

“Oh, my love, I will never leave you alone, you should know that by now,” he whispered and held out a hand, trying to touch mine, but his eyes narrowed.  “I felt you, you know, when you were searching for my flock. I felt the way your power called to me.”

“Yeah, well, I think you need better service,” I snarked and watched as his hand dropped to the table and he sat back. 

“You hurt me in the alley, that little syphon job you did, my I never would have thought you had it in you, or that you’d be able to handle such pure energy.”

“What do you want, Zane?” I growled and gasped the mug in my hand, the heat of the liquid keeping my mind focused on what was going on there instead of the power the man in front of me offered. 

“I just wanted to make sure you knew I was still around.”

“Hard not too, since you keep popping up,” I looked up into his eyes as the power flashed across mine and he smiled.  “Next time, give me some warning so I can have a blade ready to stab in your eyes.”

“Oh, my, you know how hot it gets me when you’re feisty, Alison, I can’t wait to feel that power all around me, and under me, and while I’m in you…” I pulled the spectrum from the back of my jeans and placed the tip right against the soft spot under his chin.

“Shut it! Right now, stop talking, or I swear I will run you though right in front of all your little minions.” I felt the build-up coming, and his eyes started to glow a bright blue as he leaned into the tip.

“Hmm, if you really meant that, love, you would be using the one in your boot, not the one in your hands.” He reached out and ran his fingers along the edge of the spectrum, alone that sharpened edge of the razor and my eyes instantly went to the blood that started to run down, chasing after the pad.  I could smell it, the way that his blood seemed to attract me and I closed my eyes.  “You know what surprises me more than anything, the fact that your little hunters aren’t here guarding you.” That bloody finger and its mates traced down my hand, where it held tightly to the handle of the blade. “I’m amazed that they would let someone with your abilities out of their sights.”

“Oh, she ain’t alone!” Dean’s deep and irritated voice spoke up, close, and I opened my eyes quickly, when I heard the slide click back on the Colt. Looking over the shoulder of the demon before me, I could see Sam standing in the doorway, both hands gripping a gun tightly, Danni making her way down the aisle as she “encouraged” people to leave, and Cas, who had taken up a spot to stand beside Dean, who had scooted into the seat behind Zane.  “Why don’t you take your ugly ass and, I don’t know, go rot in hell and leave the lovely lady alone?”

“Dean Winchester, so we meet again,” Zane said calmly as he blinked, his eyes coming up from my hand to lock on mine and I could see the anger in them. “I see that our last meeting didn’t do much for the intelligent part of your brain, you’re still thinking that this is a fight you can win.”

“Oh, I think I got all I need to know out of our last meeting,” he replied and I watched the EMF meter come up from the seat and Dean flicked it on. 

The wail that the machine let off was enough to make the entire population deaf, or at least that was how I heard it because I started to cringe at the noise, while Zane clenched his teeth in pain, feeling every vibration that it let out.

Zane let out a growl of pain that shook me to the core as his lips turned up in a sneer and suddenly he was gone, faster than Cas could pop out on his wings, and I looked up at Dean, wide-eyed as he tilted the gun back and flipped on the safety.  I swallowed, trying to catch the control that I felt slipping as the machine turned off and the only thing I could hear was the thump of my heart.

Sam moved into the seat next to me and wrapped his arms around me the best he could, but my eyes were trained on Dean’s, full of confusion because there wasn’t any emotion in his, they were blank slates, and that worried me. Where was the anger, the hatred and the pain?  Where was the need to destroy, the one I had gotten used to seeing when something evil was around, and then I realized that what Zane had said flashed him back to the warehouse, to the torture and he had built up the walls to keep those memories at bay.

~~~~~

It was nearly four in the morning when we all settled down, I had managed to wear Sam out, and behind our locked door, away from Dean and Danni, he slept peacefully wrapped up in just the sheet that hugged his body.  I, on the other hand, seemed to be having much more trouble with that word,  _ sleep _ . My body didn’t want to shut down, it didn’t want to do anything but move, so I paced back and forth from the bathroom door to the small table, just passed the end of the bed where I could keep an ear out for Sam.

I had gotten dressed, boots, blade and all and walked with my fingers tented over my nose.  Dean hadn’t said much since the altercation with Zane. In fact, he seemed to forget I was in the room all together as Sam and Danni went over some of what they had found in the books.  He sat on the bed, his elbows on his knees and he stared at the floor. 

I couldn’t help but watch him, see the way the muscles moved under his shirt as each time I spoke, they seemed to twitch and it took everything I had to keep my eyes on Sam, who was explaining something to me that I didn’t understand.

They wanted to do what to me? Bind me? To one of them? Who the hell would agree to that? The only one strong enough in the group was Cas and we already saw what I could do to him just by pushing a thought.  No! Binding was the worst possible idea!

I closed my eyes, leaned up against the dresser and crossed my arms. I had to say put, I had to get some kind of rest, but the cool breeze and the smell of dirt and refrigeration chemicals had my eyes opened faster than I could think. I stepped away from the wall and rolled my eyes.

Where the hell was I now?

Sliding the blade from my boot, I made my way through the small space between the buildings and the shipping containers that seemed to fill the parking lot, or at least the storage lot. Nothing on the map, even when we Google Earth-ed it resembled anything like this in Winchester, so with that being known, where did hell did I pop to this time?

I wasn’t in Old Town, in fact I was far from it. I wasn’t by the diner, otherwise I would have been able to see the hotel, the boys’ cars, something familiar. Nope, this place was dark and it made my heart race.  I could feel the evil in the air, knew by that feeling that there were demons nearby and I went with it, letting the smoky red vision cloud my eyes. It was almost like I could see through and around the solid masses in front of me, or it was like their blackness just beamed out, like a beacon.

Rounding the corner of the last row of shipping containers, I saw five of them standing there, three men, two women, all dressed in worker’s clothes, not the suits that I always saw in the show. This was actually more realistic, the fact that they weren’t all dolled up but I couldn’t help but feel guilty for what I was about to do, I mean, they were wearing helpless meat suits.

One of them looked my way as I backed up and pressed against the metal, but the vibration of the blade alone seemed to have them moving towards me, like a moth to a flame… or a lamb to the slaughter and I looked down at the steel in my hand.  What the hell, it was a demon magnet… I was only the one that swung it.

When I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and stepped out from around the corner, all I could see was their clouded forms, the red blood from the humans they occupied but the blackness that swirled in it and I watched as they stopped, felt the power surge through me as my eyes changed color and the smile crept up on my face.

“Looks like it’s playtime,” I opened my hands, widened my stance just a little bit and waited for those angel blades to drop, and they did.

It was almost getting tiresome, the way they danced about, and they didn’t do it the smart way, you know, all in. It was like, “let’s have Mikey try it, he’ll try anything” and they push one person in so that they can see how strong their opponent was.  Yeah this happened every time and I was getting tired of it. I had danced with better, and far more partners than these five, but it kept the blood flowing, theirs not mine and before I knew it, most of the ground was covered in demon dust and there was one girl standing. 

She looked at her partners, at the amount of blood that soaked me and the ground as I stood there, arms casually at my side, the blade hanging towards the pavement as the blood dripped from the end of it. My hair was coated in the blood of her friends and my chest burned from the way my heart raced within the confines of my ribs but I looked up at her, feeling the spark behind what I assumed were black eyes.

“What are you?” She questioned and this made me shrug.

“The end,” I replied in a whisper and raised the blade as I stepped towards her. 

I remember swinging, of hearing her scream and then there was nothing but silence, the low hum of the old, dusty air conditioner that hung outside the office of the motel manager and I looked up at the brightening sky.  I heard them on the gravel, the sound of the familiar boots but when I turned to look at Sam, I watched him stop in shock.

“Ali?” he questioned, and it seemed as if life was repeating itself. I smiled at him looked down at the blood that covered me and suddenly my body began to shake.  I met his eyes, and watched the concern fill them before he closed the distance, took my hand and rushed me towards the motel room, snatching the blade from me as he did.

Once inside, he locked and bolted the door, pressed a hand to my back and moved me swiftly to the bathroom. I was in a daze, completely uncertain of what was going to happen, of how he was going to react that when the water sprayed on, I jumped and looked up at him.

Sam sighed, placed the blade in the sink and took the hem of my shirt in his hands.  “I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispered, as if I needed the reassurance, “do you trust me?”

“Always,” I answered, but it came out almost inaudible and I relaxed my arms as he tugged the shirt up and over my head, letting it drop into the wastebasket.

His fingers trailed down my arms to my waist where he popped the button and carefully unzipped them. I wanted to touch him, to feel his skin, to ground myself but all I could do was watch what he was doing. Sam knelt on the floor, looked up at me from where he was before his eyes went where his hands were, wrapping around each side of the waist of my jeans before tugging them down, taking the cotton panties with them.

I swallowed back the nausea at the amount of blood that stained me, but he didn’t seem to notice as his hands moved over my thighs, tugging the material from my ankles when it gathered there.  I wanted to close my eyes, to enjoy the feeling but I couldn’t, I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t pop out of the room again, and this was Sam, I needed him to keep me there.

He came back up, his hands touching every spot that he had on the way down and more, and when he stood straight, he reached behind me and unhooked the bra, slid it from my shoulders and deposited in the basket. His fingers ran down my arm and gripped my fingers lightly as he tugged me towards the shower, moved the curtain aside and watched as I stepped in. 

Once under the spray, I felt every ache in my body and I leaned back against the wall, my body facing Sam as he looked over me, worrying his bottom lip and I opened my eyes the best I could, since lethargy was finally taking over.

“Will you stay here?”  He questioned, knowing I didn’t have much choice in the matter.

“If it’s in my power,” I sighed, and watched him nod, but before turned away, taking the trash bag with him, I called out, “Sam,” and he looked at me once again. “Take the blade with you, it knows where they are.”

He looked towards the sink, I saw his chest rise as he prepared himself for it, and then I heard the clank of the metal as he took it from its resting spot and disappeared out of the room.

~~~~~

The sun was bright and shining, not a cloud in the sky as Sam pulled the Charger up beside the Impala, somewhere deep in the woods of the closest state park.  I smiled as he cut the engine and looked over.  Rest had finally come to me after the shower, and I had awoken with Sam’s arm wrapped around me. It was a lighter day, something I hadn’t felt in a while, but we all needed to get out and away, so when Dean suggested a drive, Sam hadn’t argued and Danni wholeheartedly agreed.

I was just along for the ride, wherever that took us, and now as I sat looking at nature through the front windshield of the Charger, I was happy to be there.  Sam came around, opened my door and grabbed my hand.

Together we followed the sounds of what I thought was laughter, but it was more of a playful argument between the older two of our group.  Cas had stayed behind to work on some sort of research, which left us with time on our hands.  I stopped at the edge of the clearing, watched the small river run by and noticed that Danni stood knee-deep in the running water, as Dean looked down, as if waiting for fish to swim by.

Sam kissed me quickly, and moved down towards the water, removing his shoes and socks as he tried to roll up his pants before hitting the water, which got the usual reaction from Dean, who eyed his little brother with contempt before going into a full smile.  I walked down to the river’s edge, removed my own footwear and climbed up on a rock, warmed by the heat of the sun and watched the three of them as they frolicked about, taking in the sound of their banter, their laughter, hoping to hold it in, wanting to keep it close.

I was silently observing, just letting them do their thing, imagining what it was like that month and a half without me and I hoped it was like this, because I had a feeling when it was over, this was the only thing that they were going to be able to fall back on.

Dean turned to me, unaware of how violent my night had come and the smile faded from his face as I pulled my legs up to my chest, encased them in my arms and placed my chin against my knees.  He seemed worried, angry, something other than happy when he looked me over for just a moment, then turned back to his brother, who slapped him on the arm.

Dean looked at Sam, slapped him back and Sam glanced up at me, all smiles.  This was how I needed them to be,  _ happy _ , and they couldn’t be that way while I was there. In that moment, I thought I knew what I needed to do, in that moment, I made a rash decision that would change the way that life went from that moment forward.

In that moment, everything changed.


	57. DH God Killers - 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not again, guess you get what you want, Dean, a shorter... much shorter leash

**Chapter 24**

I shook my head, sitting up on the dresser, my hands gripping the edge, as I watched Sam and Danni flip though the spell book that Sam had opened on the table.

“What are you looking for anyway?” I questioned and closed my eyes, I had only been sitting there for not even five minutes and I was completely bored, anxious, and ready to move. Don’t get me wrong, I had appreciated our time outside the motel, by the river that the boys had found deep in the forest, but these four walls were already getting on my nerves.

“Nos Ligare,” Sam answered in Latin, as he picked the book up and turned to look at me.

“Another binding spell?”  I questioned, but that had been the thing of the day, reading and going over which ones would work best, which ones wouldn’t work at all and I sighed as I looked over at Danni, “the last one hurt my head, what makes you think this is a good idea.”

“Because it’s doesn’t bind you to her,” he spoke up and leaned on the edge of the table, as my eyes snapped back in his direction, “it binds you to me.”

“Oh, wonderful,” I stated sarcastically, “because that is such a brilliant idea.  Hello, psycho darkness here, Sam, not the best plan in the world!”

“We can’t have you popping in and out like that, Ali,” Cas spoke up as he appeared in the room and I rolled my eyes, before turning to look at him.  “Your… traveling has become more bloody each time you go out, a tether to someone would be the wise choice.”

“Says you, Angel, you’re not the one with the freaking tattoo,” I growled and watched as he gave me  _ that _ face, the one that almost could be interrelated as “bite me,” but he kept his mouth shut.  “Look, all I’m saying is that it didn’t work to bind me to Danni, and I don’t know about you, Sam, but I’m pretty certain that my anger management issues are only going to get worse.”

“That’s why we do it now, so that hopefully you can maintain some sort of level of control.” He replied and stepped closer. I looked down at the spell in the book, taking in everything that was written on the pages before I felt his fingers under my chin and I tilted my head up to look at him.  “I need to do this, for you, for me. Ali, it’s not safe and I need you close.”

“Yeah, I get it,” I took a deep breath and felt his lips on my forehead. “Fine,” yeah, I gave in a little easier than they expected but I had my own plans, “do it.”

It wasn’t more than an hour later that the door opened and I looked up from my pacing at the back of the room.  Dean, who had been gone for way too long, walked in with two grocery bags full of food and kicked the door shut with his foot before looking down at the stockpile of herbs, bowls, candles and some strange liquids that he apparently wanted nothing to do with as he shook his head.

His eyes came up to meet mine, those green ones always intense with emotions, but I watched his brow crease in some sort of emotion, anger, worry, hatred, not sure which but he placed the bags on the counter and turned back to his brother and Danni.

“What’s going on?” he questioned and stepped up beside them, looking from the words of the book to me.  “What are you planning, Sam?”

“It’s a binding spell, sort of,” the taller man turned towards his brother and glanced over at me, “not to bind her powers, but to create a sort of tether.”

“A tether?” Dean questioned in disbelief.

“A shorter leash,” I mocked and his eyes snapped over in my direction as he raised an eyebrow and gave me a little shake.  “It’s what you wanted, me wrapped up somewhere secure.”

“Yeah, like that went over well the last time we tried it.”  He stated with annoyance, but turned back to his brother. “You can’t link yourself to her, none of us can.”

“Way to go, Ass, I’m standing right here!” I snapped

“Yeah, and at any moment, you could be off playing butcher!” He retorted and stepped closer, but Sam’s hand was on his arm.  “You’re dangerous and you know it.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that, I do know it,” I smiled and crossed my arms as I looked him over from head to toe, “but I think you like that.”

“Hey, screw you!” his anger rose and I could feel it flowing into me. It was too strong, too intense and while something about Dean was always a trigger, this time was different. I closed my eyes, felt my face grow pale and I swayed.  “Ali?” There was a change in his voice, a concern that grew there and I felt his hand on my arm. “What’s happening?”

“Don’t,” I snapped, swinging his hand off me as I looked up, breathing heavily through my nose, “don’t touch me!” I moved around him, stopped to look at Sam, clenching his shirt before I chanced a glance at the muscles on Dean’s back, the ones that tightened as he tightened his fists at his side.  “I’m going next door,” I whispered and connected with Sam once again, “it’s too much.”

Sam took my hand from his shirt and brought it to his lips, which made me smile just a little bit. “I’ll come get you when we’re ready.”

I nodded, looked back at Dean, who had slowly turned, at least to the side and was checking me over, before I opened the door and headed toward the room.  Just as I passed the window, I heard Dean sigh.

“Are you sure leaving her alone is a good idea?” He questioned and I can only imagine that Sam shrugged because there wasn’t any response.

It probably really wasn’t a good idea, but I wasn’t going to tell them that.  I walked into the room, closed and locked the door behind me and started walking towards the bathroom, on my way, I paused only to switch out the blade in my boot with my trusty spectrum and as I stepped through the bathroom door, I stepped out onto the deserted dirt road.  The air has just a bit more humidity to it and even the sky looked a bit different, but it was the yellow flowers that grew on each corner and the wrecked remains of what once was a building that told me right where I was.

“I’m not playing,” I said softly, not that I was going to start yelling it, “so you can come out now.”

I watched as he stepped from the darkness himself and gave me that all knowing and evil smile, but his beard was just a bit thicker and his black hair helped him blend in with the growing darkness.  Crowley stopped not more than ten feet from me, his hands in the pockets of that God-forsaken overcoat and I watched as his eyes ran over the length of me.

“My God, how do they keep you tied down?”  He questioned and smiled, stepping closer, “the power coming off from you is enormous.” But I didn’t answer him, I just smiled, slipped the spectrum out and twirled the handle in my palm.  “Hmm, interesting, Moose and Squirrel have no idea you’re standing here, do they?” I watched him look around.  “No gas-guzzling, scrap metal on wheels, so how did you get here?”

“Not the point of this little meeting, is it?”  I questioned.  “I heard you, I came when you called, so what is going on?”

“You heard me?”

“Yeah, imagine that, I can hear demons when they’re close, like a beacon,” I shrugged, and held up the blade, “but I didn’t come here to fight, which is why I brought this little girl instead of her bigger sister, now wanna tell me what the hell you want? I have to get back. Curfew, you know?”

“Don’t let those boys put you on a leash,” he stated and stepped even closer, watching the rainbow blade in my hand as I lowered it. “Your powers could destroy them.”

“Then I need a way to stop it, to keep the spell from working, but I need to have something that keeps me grounded because I can’t just pop off to put away your guys either.” I watched as he looked down at his feet, his mind working before he looked up at me.

“The demons you’re so kindly disposing of aren’t “my guys”, they work with Zadimus, kind of his own little clique, it’s nauseating to be honest.  They flock to his feet, like he’s the answer to the end of the world.”  I could hear the irritation in his voice and shook my head. “What, I’m allowed to be annoyed with my followers?”

“Yeah, I know, King of Hell and all that,” I said mocking his accent before I shook it off and shrugged, “but you’re not annoyed, you’re jealous.  You want him gone so that you can have your playthings back, your minions.”  I was the one that stepped off my mark this time and landed with not more than a two-foot distance between us. “So, tell me how to stop the tether.”

“I don’t have too, it’s all there, scrambled up in your noodle,” he answered and tapped his finger against my forehead, “the darkness is just clouding everything.  You need to learn to push it aside and let the magic through.”

“I haven’t been able to do that, Crowley, and you know it. I have been trying all day but there is nothing there, nothing that I can access.”

“Power can be all consuming,” He took a breath, dramatic effect, and placed two fingers gently on my head before I started to feel the warmth behind my “third eye”. This wasn’t like Cas, where it seemed to heat up to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. No, Crowley’s power was like a hot cup of cocoa on a winter’s day, a warmth that spread all over and I could almost hear the lock that held back all those spells click open.  His finger withdrew and he stepped back.  “You do realize how dangerous this is, black magic and whatever you’re becoming?”

“As long as it stops that thing, as long as it keeps me from destroying the boys in the process and keeps the tether from sticking, I don’t care how dangerous it is for me.”  I watched the smile rise up on his lips again and he tilted his head as he looked me over.

“My, how the hunter has fallen,” he whispered.  “You’re just like them, you know,” he turned and started to walk away, “that ‘I’ll do anything for family’ complex is going to only get you one thing, Love,” before he disappeared into the darkness, he turned to me. “It’s going to get you killed.”

“I’m kinda banking on that.” I shrugged and watched the smile fade from his face as he looked away and proceeded to disappear as he always did, fading into the darkness. 

I took a deep breath, looked around the crossroads one more time and turned around.  With a sigh, I stepped forward and looked up, staring at myself in the mirror. Quickly, not knowing how long I had been gone, I turned the bathroom sink on, washed my face and my arms just as I heard the door to the room jiggle.

I grabbed a towel, made my way over and flipped the lock.  Sam stood outside the door and looked at me as I patted the towel against my arm.  He stepped inside, looked at the blade on the bed, the  _ clean _ blade and reached out to push the wet strand of hair from my face.

“You okay?”  He questioned, the concern in his eyes made me smiled as his fingers trailed down my cheek and I felt the slip behind my ear, his palm pressed against me.  I blinked back the frustration in me and glanced away for just a bit.  The door was open and I could smell the man who stood just outside it.  Dean was just as close as his brother and I sighed.

“Honestly, no,” I whispered as I leaned into his touch. “What if this tether doesn’t work? What if it makes me fly off the handle.  Sam, I couldn’t stand to hurt you, or Dean,” and I could almost hear both of their hearts begin to race, Sam’s fluttered, like he was about to go off in a million directions but Dean’s only got stronger, harder and I took a breath. “What about Danni, her powers, what has she done with them?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed, honestly unsure, “Cas said he was going to work with her, to see what the extent of them were, but you remember what he said, she’s going to become black and white, and it’s going to come down to you or Dean, so you need to be more in control.  You need this tether to work.”

“Leashed to you isn’t my problem,” I smiled as I stepped forward, grabbing his shirt as I pressed my body against him, tilting my head back so that I could look up at him.  “I’d let you tie me up all day if it keeps me put,” and that was what made Dean’s beat skip, “but being linked to you like that, Sam, I’m not…”

“I know,” he nodded, leaned down and placed his lips against my forehead, “neither am I.”

I released his shirt and let my arms circle around him, holding on as his hand pressed my head to his chest, my cheek resting against that beat, drowning out his brother’s and I closed my eyes when I felt his lips against the top of my head.

~~~~~

The room smelled a little bit… okay, a  _ lot _ like Patchouli and I nearly gagged. Worst smell it the world to me, but I let it go because if this is what they thought would help me.  Walking past the table, I stopped and looked at the ingredients that were there. Just your normal stuff, no troll this time and I shook my head, swiping a small piece of twine from the pile and I wrapped it around the base of my thumb just above the tattoo before I moved towards the bed and sat down.

“So, what does this do, besides, you know, link me?”  I questioned and watched Danni and Sam gather around the table.

“It should dampen you a little bit, keep you grounded.” Danni replied, her back to me as she started to add the ingredients to the bowl in front of her, chanting Latin too low for me to hear and my eyes darted to Sam, whose face was in the book, Cas, who was looking over Danni’s shoulder, and then to Dean, who stood with his arm resting against the wall, his ankles crossed just staring me down.

I lowered my head, letting my hair curtain around me, hiding my mouth as I let my left-hand play with the twine that was twisted on the opposite hand.  I let my lips move, not saying the words so that they were audible but I breathed each syllable.

“Custodi me de magia.” When I felt the rope was warm enough, I lifted my head and watched as Cas looked in my direction, his brow creased with curiosity but he didn’t say a word. I took a deep breath, gave him a little bit of a tilt right back and then turned away. Of course, the only way to look was at Dean, who was still staring at me.  “Why don’t you take a picture?”

He “humph-ed” at me and shook his head, his eyes veering towards his brother’s and I watched his chest rise, taking in a deep breath. “We getting on with this?” 

“Yeah, are we?” I seconded it and my eyes looked towards Sam as the younger Winchester turned to me, “well, you know, he needs to know where to stick it, if it doesn’t work.”

“What is your deal?”  Dean growled, which brought me back to him and I gave him a questioning look.

“I’m tired, I’m cranky and I have you up my ass, that’s my deal.”  I stood from the bed and walked over to him, watching every muscle in his body tighten and I heard the collective sigh of the group behind me, but I made sure to get close enough that only he could hear the words I spoke to him. “Why don’t you do what you really want to, Winchester?  Why don’t you just tie me up, lock me in the bunker basement and do God only knows what to me until this has passed.”

“God only knows what?” He smiled, and it was a teasing one, like he wasn’t sure how to respond but he looked down at me and leaned in a little closer, “what I’d like to do, it ain’t something you’re going to enjoy, Cupcake.”

I cringed at the name as the images of watching the demon press him against the wall flashed through my head and I felt my eyes darken for just a second.

“Asshole,” I whispered back and that smile turned into a Cheshire grin, knowing he was playing with my emotions. “What are you looking for, validation that I can’t keep my crap together?  You think one little word is going to set me off?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he replied.  “I mean think about that swing you took at me in Oklahoma, good right hook, but it only took a word.”

“No, it wasn’t the word, it was the man saying them,” I shook my head. “You were up my ass then, and you still are now, so back off, Dean.”

I turned to walk away but it was as if our lives together was on repeat when he reached out and grabbed my arm, something I turned into swinging and he caught me by the wrist dragging me closer until he wrapped his arm around my waist.  I could have easily gotten away, but the feeling of him keeping me grounded seemed to stop any movement from me of any kind.

“You need to calm down,” he whispered through clenched teeth but his eyes were locked on mine as I felt the flash flicker over my vision. “I don’t want to hurt you, Ali, but I can’t let you hurt my brother, or yourself, I told you that already.”

“Let me go, Dean,” I sighed and felt as if we had done this dance too many times.  I felt the hand slip from my waist, and the one on my wrist tighten as he took the twine that was wrapped around my thumb and slowly unwound it.  My heart thumped as he glanced up at the trio behind me before taking it and sticking it in his pocket.

“Don’t play dumb,” he spoke so softly that it sent goosebumps rising on my skin, “I know what that was, and I know what you’re doing, I’m not stupid either. If you want me to play my part, you have to give me something to go on.  Don’t fight the magic, just let them bind you to him.”

“You just said you didn’t want to hurt Sam, but you want me to allow them to tether me to  _ your _ brother? How asinine can you be? This is the biggest mistake I’ve ever seen anyone make.” I answered, but was it really a mistake or was I just too scared that it would actually work. Which brought me to admit something I had been hiding from everyone, even the man that held me.  I didn’t tell him because I wanted his pity, in fact, I had hoped it might make him agree to end it, but I had to admit it to someone. “Dean, I’m afraid.”

“That’s why they’re doing it, Kid,” he replied and his fingers caressed my hand.  “To lock it down, so that you won’t have to be afraid anymore, so we can get through this without…” his pause made me nervous as he glanced up at his brother, “without any losses.”

“Okay,” Sam said stepping up beside us and I felt his hand on the small of my back.  Taking my eyes off Dean, I looked up at the worry in Sam’s eyes as he glanced over the hand that his brother held.  “We’re ready.” Dean took a step back, released my wrist and patted Sam on the shoulder as he slowly let my fingers slide from his hand while he moved away.  Sam took a breath and let it out slowly as his hand came around and gripped my hips.  “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Am I sure?”  I questioned with a laugh and felt his lips rest against my hair. “Are you ready for it, because you’re the one that’s going to be tied to a nutcase.”

I stood in the salt circle in the middle of the room, candles lit at the five points that would have signified the pentacle and I let my hands rest at my side.  Danni moved in a clockwise circle dropping down different herbs and waving incense in front of me and as much as I wanted to tell her that it was more about the intent and less about the ingredients, it would have done nothing to ease the growing concern on her face.

I watched as she reached out with a thumb coated in the ash from the bowl and drew something, I never bothered to ask what, on my forehead.  She moved away, her eyes locking with mine before doing so and I found myself with two more sets of eyes on me. Sam stood behind me, mumbling under his breath as he held the book, waiting for Danni to finish whatever it was that she was doing before he moved to stand in front of me.

“Will it hurt?” I whispered as Sam stepped inside his own salt circle and I watched the smile graze across his lips, just for a second before Danni started her same trip around her that she had done to me, coming to stop in front of him, between us, and I watched her draw the ash symbol on his head.  My mind went back to the catalogs of stuff that Crowley unlocked and I remembered where I had seen it. My grandmother’s coven.  Each member had it tattooed on the inside of their left wrist. I tried to keep myself steady and blinked away the fear but it did nothing for my racing heart. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Hey,” Dean spoke up, catching my attention, his green eyes locked on mine. “You got this, piece of cake.”

“Yeah,” I agreed but mumbled under my breath, “the arsenic-laced kind.”

Danni mumbled softly words almost to faint to hear, but Sam reached out his hand to me and slowly, I reached across the barrier of salt to take the warmth between my cold fingers.  I swallowed hard as the feeling rose in my legs the more that Danni whispered but it was when Sam joined in that it seemed to travel straight to my heart.

“Ali, you have to repeat what I say,” Sam whispered and I struggled to look up at him, while the heat rose in me. Nothing that we did was apparently okay for whatever ran through my blood because it always hurt, and it always seemed to be filled with fire.

“I can’t,” I whispered, my breathing ragged as Danni continued, “just say it, keep going.”

“You have to say it, Ali.  It binds you to me, through your voice, through your intent.” I managed to raise my head and stared into his eyes.  “Say it in English if you have too, if it’s easier.”

“Latin,” I whispered and sighed, it was just so much easier for my brain to wrap around the words with the locks undone.  “Just say it in Latin.”

“Okay, just like a poem, Al,” Sam whispered and I felt him squeeze my fingers as I closed my eyes.

“Yeah, I sucked at English Lit.” I smiled and listened to him laugh.

 

“Adiuro anima mea ad te

Adiuro te per vitam meam

Non ut faciam tibi magicae

Preces meae spei somnia

Adiuro mea cor tuum

ut ad ultimas oras,

navis nocte

Adiuro me in tenebris lux tua.” Sam finished and my heart sank, did he really know what he was doing with something like that? I wasn’t sure if I could repeat it, not sure if I had the heart to, but I took a deep breath and cleared my head, picturing the words in English.

“I bind my soul to thee, I bind my life for thee, I make my magic yours to keep.” Sam whispered in English as I followed him with Latin. “My prayers and hopes within your dreams. I bind my heart to yours, to find on distant shores. A beacon in the night, I bind my darkness to your light.”

I repeated the words as many time as I could, hoping that I was still getting them straight as the pain started to take over, started to burn in my veins and my knees began to falter.  I stepped sideways in the circle, feeling Sam’s hands go from just holding my fingers to grasping at my wrist and I moaned, getting the last syllable out before the world started to spin.

The magic touched my heart and I quickly let him go, I tilted my head back, feeling the power grow within me, spread my fingers wide as I tried to find a way to release it and suddenly a shockwave throbbed through every molecule of my being, the blast sending me to my knees and Sam down across the floor, cut through the salt barrier and I found enough strength to look up and see Sam leaning back on Dean’s legs where he had landed.

Cas came to stand beside me, his hand on my back, close to my neck, and I crossed my legs, glancing back at Danni, who moved over and crouch down near Sam, the three of them looking at me as if I had two heads. 

“I don’t think it worked.” I replied, just in time for my world to go black.

~~~~~

There was one thing I hated in this world, more so since that fateful April trip and that was blacking out, so when I came too, I wasn’t happy at all. In fact, I wasn’t even eased into it. The world came spinning back to reality just as fast as it spun out and I sat up straight and quick on the bed, my hands bracing behind me as I looked at the three people who stood looking around the room and my eyes focused on Sam, who made his way over from the table to sit by me on the bed. 

I didn’t feel any different, I didn’t see any different but what I heard was the whoosh of a heartbeat instead of the thump of it and that in of itself was strange. Sam reached out his hand, running it along my cheek as I turned and looked up at him, the worry evident in his green eyes and I took a deep breath in.

My chest felt like it was on fire, as if a cold was settling in for a nice few days of restless sleep but I didn’t feel the fever, just the leftover side effects of the spell, and his lips caressed across my forehead before the pressed gently against mine, and I let my lids close for just a second more.

“It didn’t work, did it?”  I questioned when his lips pulled away and Sam sat back, glanced at Cas and Danni before he came back and shook his head.

“Not that we can tell,” Cas replied stepping towards me.  “You passed out before I could really check and see if a connection was made, but now that you’re awake, there doesn’t seem to be anything in the room that would remotely resemble a tether in power.”

“Great, so all that for nothing,” I whispered and felt Sam’s hand on the back of my neck.  I let out a few more of what I would associate as the breaths you take after having a few shots of hard liquor, the kind that burns on the way down and that was when I noticed the person absent from the room. I turned once on the bed and looked up at Sam, still unsure of what happened after I passed out and stared into his blue-green eyes. “Where’s Dean?”


	58. DH God Killers -25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING???

**Chapter 25**

Both Cas and Danni seemed to be at a loss as to where the older brother had disappeared to but my eyes went from watching them scramble around to the ones that stared at me in awe.  I sat up more on the bed, and licked my lips before reaching out to touch his cheek.

“Sam,” I spoke softly because I knew what was going on in that mind of his, “we knew there was a chance it wouldn’t work.”

“It needed to work, Ali,” he sighed, leaning into my touch, as his fingers found my waist and he pulled me around to sit on his lap, straddling his legs and his arms enveloped me. I wanted to kiss him, take his face in my hands and lavish hope and love along every worry line that graced his skin but I couldn’t because I had done this, I was the one that kept the spell from working.  I had made the decision that there was no way I was going to be tied to him, not that way.  “What do we do now?”

“We figure it out,” I answered, wrapping my arms around his neck as he put his forehead down on my shoulder, “we find out more about the solstice and we figure out just what we need to do. There has to be something somewhere that can give us a line on what the hell happens next.”

I looked over as Cas stepped into the room, the look on his face told me that something strange was up but he wasn’t about to yell it across the room.  I ran my hand through Sam’s hair, knowing that he needed rest, knowing that they all needed something but what I needed was this to be over.

“Sam,” I whispered and felt his arms wrap tighter, which made me send a look to Cas and shake my head ever so slightly.

_ Can you still here me? _ I questioned and watched the angel tilt his head, his lips shut tightly in a frown as he gave a small nod.  _ When Sam falls asleep, we can talk. _

_ Do you have any idea what’s going on? _ Cas’ voice was like a bullhorn in my ear and I winced at the volume, watching an apologetic look cross his eyes.

_ I think I might have an idea. _ I answered and he licked his lips, looked up at the ceiling and nodded before he turned and walked back out of the room.

For a moment, just a little while, I wrapped myself in everything that was Sam Winchester because I knew that in the coming days, this serenity, this absolute love that we shared, the way his soul attracted mine, the way his body and heart held me dear, those would be tested and in my own heart I knew no matter how strong they were, nothing could possibly survive the battle that was coming our way.

~~~~~

I left Sam in the room, wrapped his extra-large, red flannel tightly around me and stepped out the door, leaving it cracked just as bit as I stepped between the cars and waited for Cas, who had disappeared a while ago.  We had maybe three hours between the time the ritual ended to where I stood right then to have dinner and get our stuff together.  The 21 st was edging closer and there was nothing any one of us could do to stop it.

I was sitting on the hood of the Charger when I heard the slight whoosh of wings and shivered as Cas’ power seemed to flow over me.  He took a step forward, his hands tucked into the pockets of those blue jeans and I watched as he leaned on the grill next to me, looking up at the stars.

“You had something to do with that spell going wrong, didn’t you?”  Cas questioned, after only a moment of silence.

“I wasn’t going to let Sam get linked to me in that way,” I answered and brought my eyes down to glance at his profile.  His face told me that there was more to it than Sam not getting his end of the bargain, and I watched his jaw clench before those blue eyes turned to lock on mine.

“I’m afraid it’s much worse now.” Cas sighed, turning his full body so that now only his hip touched the car.  “You’ve linked someone else to you and if you thought the possibility of your death was there before, it certainly is almost a guarantee now.”

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. I knew something was different, something was wrong but I didn’t realize that the tether might have hopped from Sam to someone else. “How did that happen? You would have thought if my intent was to keep Sam untethered that my saying the spell would have just bounced off everyone else.”

“Unfortunately, no, there was a missing piece of the puzzle.” My eyes flew open and I stared at him

“There’s always a missing piece, but I didn’t miss anything, I knew exactly what I had to  _ not _ do in order for it to fail.  I made it so no magic could stick to me.” 

“Then you did it wrong.”

“So, you keep saying but how? Every spell in my head lead me to that one simple piece of…” I paused and thought back to what was going on before I stepped into that salt circle.  “Son of a bitch!”

“I don’t think calling their mother names is going to help the situation, Ali,” Cas argued and I rolled my eyes at him.

I thought back on what was said, his voice in my head, the feel of his hand on my wrist, the way he unwound the piece of twine and stuffed it in his pocket.  _ “If you want me to play my part, you have to give me something to go on.  Don’t fight the magic, just let them bind you to him.” _ He hadn’t meant Sam at all when he said that, he had meant  _ him _ ! He knew what the stupid twine was for and yet instead of saying anything, he put it in his damn pocket.

“We have to find a way to break it!” I snapped and jumped down from the car as I walked out a few feet before turning to him.  “Cas, there has to be a way to break it.  There’s too much there, too much energy, too much anger, too much… power!” I swallowed, my body started to shake as I thought of the strange whooshing sound of the heart beat that I heard when I woke up, no longer the beat of one but the actual sound of the movement of the blood through every part of the body, and I locked my stare on Castiel. “I can’t be tethered to Dean Winchester!”

Silently, throughout the night, Castiel brought me books from the research room in the basement of my home.  After I had gone through the grimoire that Sam had used, and found it lacking anything about reversing the spell, we were off to find other avenues, which meant the stash of archived books that were sitting in the locked room down there.

By three, there were stacks on the floor, ones that if left on the table would have broken the thing into a ton of pieces. I wanted to slam the book shut, the one that I had just flipped the last page on, but that would have woken up the man that was sleeping (and not just lightly sleeping because I could hear the little bit of apnea in the way he breathed) on the bed not more than ten feet from me.

With a deep breath, I stood and walked out into the night once more, the door open enough so that I could hear Sam, so that I could make out the beats of his heart, the sound of his breath and, should he happen to wake, the changes in the patterns.

I hadn’t picked up the blade since the last demon attack, I didn’t intend to, because I wanted him to believe it worked, I wanted him to know that I could control it, but that was before I found out about Dean.

What the hell was I thinking trying to put magic against magic, or more to the point, how did I not think that Dean had some sort of ace up his sleeve?  He would protect Sam with everything he had, he would take on all of his burdens, and I knew that from his story about his life, skipping Yale, putting up with John, protecting Sam from himself.  How did I not put it in the equation that Dean would make that kind of move to protect Sam from linking himself to someone he thought was dangerous already and only bound to become more so as the days passed? Two more days.

Cas walked up behind me, okay for an angel he kind of just appeared behind me, but I had become used to the feeling of his own power, his own presence that it didn’t surprise me anymore, not enough that I would jump at the feel of his hand pressing on my lower back as he came around to stand by me.

“Nothing?” He questioned.

“Nothing at all,” I sighed and shook my head.  “You would have thought that finding something to undo a binding spell would be easier than finding something to create it.  Hex magic is big enough that there is usually twenty-thousands ways to remove it and two ways to do it.”

“We’ll find something,” he said, trying to sound reassuring, but come on, this was Cas we were talking about and his “doom and gloom” voice seemed to register exactly the same as his “every little thing is gonna be alright” one.  I reached out and placed a hand on his heart, not saying anything, just standing there with that link to him.

There was no transfer of power this time, no wave of energy as we stood, and I realized that maybe the tether was a good thing, not the fact of who it was linked too, but that I seemed to have a little more control when it came to drawing from him.

“You need to bring Danni up to speed.” I whispered, “Sam and Dean, they’re going to need all the help they can get if I go dark side, Cas.”

“I agree,” he nodded but didn’t move out of my reach, in fact, his hand came up and he placed his palm down against it. “As for the spells, there is one more thing you can try.”

“Really, just one more?”  I gave him a grin and watched his unimpressed face appear suddenly. “Okay, I’ll be serious. What are you thinking?”

“Your friend, Jones, he might know something, or someone that can help you with it.”  Cas really was a genius, in all of the time we spent looking, Jones had never crossed my mind, but, Cas was right, the man knew a lot of stuff, just enough to be dangerous.

“That might work.” I whispered and listened to the man in the room sit up rather quickly. Cas’ eyes went right to the room as he stepped out of my reach and I turned to look as Sam suddenly stood in the doorway, his eyes wide with worry, his hands braced on either side of the door and he was staring me down.  I glanced back at Cas, gave him just a quick nod, and moved towards Sam. Placing my hand on the tall man’s chest, Sam caught his breath and his heart as he stared down into my eyes.  “It’s okay, Sam, I’m here.”

His arm came down, his fingers slid around my waist and he tugged me forward, bringing me into the room as closed the door behind him.  With a glance at the stack of books, he moved me towards the bed, and brought me down to lay in his arms.

He didn’t want anything, didn’t need at the moment, at least nothing that would require a marathon and slowly he wrapped his arms securely around my body, one arm cradled under my neck and his leg hooked over mine before I felt his lips on my head. I curled my arms up, tucked between us, just to feel his heart against me and I closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than to stay in the security of that warmth for the rest of whatever life I had left.

~~~~~

Coffee, and six am seemed to just go hand in hand, or at least in my hand.  Dean, who was never up this early, had been banging around in the room next door for almost an hour before it finally had me on edge enough that I got up and walked over to the diner. So, with five coffees balancing on a flimsy cardboard tray and a bunch of different pastries in a bag, I made my way towards their door.  It was already open, the smell of his cigarettes seemed faint in the air, as if he had just finished before I had started my walk back and I knew that the pull of my distance had made him step outside.

Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed when I stopped in the doorway. Sam had gotten up and dressed while I was gone, not being able to take the noise his brother was creating, and was now tucked in the corner of the table with his laptop open.  The bathroom door was closed and the shower was going, so I knew right where Danni was when I watched Dean pace.

“Maybe I should have gotten you a decaf.” I admitted as I watched Dean stalk up to me, an angry look in his eyes as he just shook his head and took the cup before going back to his pacing.  “What’s going on, Dean?”

“We have forty-eight hours to figure out what the hell is going to happen,” he answered and I just sighed.

Yeah, like I didn’t know that, but I let him continue as I followed his movements with my eyes, I brought the coffee to Sam, felt the man’s hand on my hip and turned, sitting down on his thigh as he continued to scroll through the downloaded Men of Letters archives.  I felt a wet kiss on my shoulder, where the mark he had left was starting to fade, and then the warmth was gone, Sam had gone back to whatever had his concentration.

“There are a ton of books in our room that we can use to figure it out.” I spoke up as I took a bite of the muffin, but that was when I heard the tapping of the keyboard stop, and the silence of the shoes on the floor and I looked between them.  “What, you really think I’m just going to sit here and not try and figure it out?  I asked for books, Cas brought me books. The problem is, I couldn’t find anything in it.”

“The library at the bunker might have something,” Sam added, but Dean shook his head.

“You’re talking about systematically dismantling one of the greatest libraries of supernatural lore in the world, Sammy, we have two days, not two years.”  Dean huffed and I could feel his frustration from here.

“John’s cabin,” I whispered and watched them all turn to me, even Sam stopped typing, but I didn’t reply as Danni walked out of the bathroom.

My eyes went right to her, seeing the strange way that her body seemed to shimmer and I shook my head, trying to clear the strange way my vision took in the light that grew in here. But as she passed by Dean, I felt this strange little tickle in my chest and looked down as the vibration moved through me.  I watched as Dean shifted, like it made him uneasy, as if it were foreign and my eyes went automatically to Cas, who looked worried.

“What about Dad’s cabin?”  Sam questioned, his warm breath against my ear.

“Ah,” I struggled to collect my thoughts and shook my head, “He was with Asmodeus for a long time, who’s to say there might not be something hiding in there, you know, like a book or something.  I mean, the guy wanted Zane gone, he had the blades made, he kept them safe, there has to be something in there, right?”

“She has a point,” Cas interrupted and I watched Dean stop dead in his tracks.  “There may be something there that we didn’t see.”

“You weren’t looking last time, there may be a lot of things you missed.” Dean growled, his eyes focusing on me as I tried my best to look innocent and away.  “I’m surprised you looked at all trying to keep track of Mary Poppins here.”

“Mary Poppins,” I laughed and let my eyes wander back to him as the smile faded from my face, “funny!” I watched as he gave me a mocked grin. “Can I kick you?”

“You sure as hell are welcome to try,” he bantered back, but it was light, not the same as his usual angry self, and I watched him wink, which only got me to shake my head, something he truly grinned at. I put my coffee down, and went to stand up but Sam’s arm held me down to his lap, which got a grin from Dean. “See, Kid, even Sam has my back.”

“Actually, Dean,” Sam spoke up and smiled.  “I just don’t want to see her kick your ass.”

I watched the smile fade from the older brother’s lips and he stared at the man behind me.  “Not funny, Sam, I thought you were my brother.”  What the hell was going on? Why was Dean being so cute all of a suddenly, but then I realized what was going on. He was getting closer and before I knew it, I had one Winchester holding me down on his lap, and one standing before me as his fingers reached out and brush my cheek, but fear filled my eyes.  Dean leaned down closer, staring at me with those green orbs and I heard the loud whoosh of his blood.  “Sammy’s got you now, and I’m okay with that.”

“Why would you be okay with any of this?” I snapped, thinking I should really pull back from his touch, from the weird sensation that his fingers left on my skin but I watched him bite his lower lip just a little before backing up, his fingers moving to rest on my neck before he pulled away completely.

The look of confusion in his eyes told me that he didn’t know either, that he really shouldn’t be okay with it and that had me at once conclusion.  Dean’s lips tightened in anger and he moved towards the door.  He looked at me one more time, grabbed the handle and walked out, slamming it behind him.

Danni sat back in quiet observation, watching me like a hawk ready to strike, but I didn’t care.  Sam felt me pull at his hold, and slowly he released me, letting me stand as I turned back to him, getting caught in his bright eyes.

“I’m sorry, I have to check on him.” I whispered leaning in as Sam gave me a half-smile, before he tipped his head up and kissed me lightly on the lips.

“I know you do,” he replied, but I didn’t believe that he truly understood it, not for a minute and suddenly I was out the door, the brother at the table on my mind as I approached the one who leaned against the hood of the Impala, with his back to me.

“Hey!” I whispered, but maybe it came out more as a snap because his head whipped around and I watched him exhale, blowing out the smoke of his cigarette.

“Sammy know you’re out here?” was the only way he responded.

“You do, that’s all that should matter,” I replied and moved around so that I was standing in front of him, his back to the room as I watched his face.  “Why the hell did you do that?”

“Do what, exactly?” He flicked the butt down and stomped it out with his foot as he crossed his arms and stared at me.

“You know what, Dean, like you said, don’t play dumb.” His eyes moved to look past me, to shut down and not answer the question, but I closed the distance and grabbed ahold of his shirt, which instantly brought his hand to mine, and those green eyes stared me down. “You know what you did, Dean, and as stupid as it might have been, I know you did it for your brother, but now we have to find a way to undo it.”

“I’m not undoing anything, Ali, this is the safest way,” he scowled and his fingers wrapped tighter, not to hurt but to let me know that he wasn’t letting go.  “You need this, I  _ need _ this… don’t you get that?”

“You need your life to be tethered to mine, really linked to me for what reason? To keep tabs on me so that when you really want to, when you’re really, truly done with it, you know just where to find me to end it?”  I twisted my fingers in his shirt, wanting to be angry but I realized it was pulling me closer as my hips touched his, the distance between us was almost nothing as his hand came down on my waist.  We seemed to never have an issue with personal space, but the tether almost made it unbearable to watch him be so far away.  “You should have just done that to begin with instead of tying yourself to some “psycho”!”

“I’m not trying to kill you!” He said through clenched teeth as the hand on my hip moved towards the small of my back, his fingers spreading wide as his thumb moved, like a sweet caress to calm me. “I wish you would understand that, Kid, I don’t want to kill you, I want to save you!”

“No,” I sighed and tried to back away, knowing deep down that there was no way he wanted to save the woman who killed his father, but the hands that held me wouldn’t let me move as the tear escaped my eyes. “I don’t deserve to be saved, not now and certainly not by the time this is over.”

“Listen, Sweetheart,” he mumbled as he moved his hand from mine and placed it on the back of my neck, holding me still as he pressed his forehead against mine.  “I don’t care what some damn prophecy says, I’m never giving up on you! You should know that by now. No matter how pissed I get at you, no matter what ugly stuff you do, Ali, I can’t lose you and you know that, so stop…” I closed my eyes as I listened to his words, my body shaking from the strange feelings the link let off, “stop with the death wish, stop with the anger, and stop assuming that I want you dead.  I need you Ali, as much as I need Danni and Sam, I need  _ you _ !”

I let my body relax, let the tension out of it, but no matter how I felt being so close, my brain wouldn’t register anything but the anger, that what he was saying was just some way to pull me in so that he could use it to his advantage.  As I stood there, my eyes closed, I moved up in his arms, got up on my tiptoes and let my lips touch him, just on the side of his mouth, not anywhere on his lips but close enough, and when I backed down, I heard him let out a breath, a quick one, before his hands released me and he slipped out from between me and the car.

I placed my hands on the hood of the car, closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I felt him getting further away, but this was also when I looked up to see Danni standing in the doorway, her eyes filled with anger and I knew at some point, that was going to come to a head. I moved, headed towards the room, back towards Sam when she stopped me, placing her whole body between me and the door.

I planted my feet, knew what was coming and braced for the impact as her hand fisted up and she swung.  It landed square on my jaw, and I closed my eyes at the pain, but it didn’t move me, not as much as she thought it would, not until she swung again.

I didn’t put up a fight, I blocked but never swung back as she continued to come at me, letting the anger take over. So much for being the carrier of light, she was full of fire and darkness as she opened up the flood gates.  I had taken three hits to the face, not really feeling any but I kept my hands down.  Finally, having been moved back beyond the ends of the cars, where Dean and I were before, I stopped, dug my foot in and balled up my fists. 

“You had enough?” I questioned, and let Danni try to take one more swing before I blocked, letting her wrist catch on my lower arm. Her eyes were full of hatred as they glared at me.  “You think you got in your limit?”

“You kissed him!”  She snapped and that made me smile. Was that what this was all about?  Danni lowered her arm and watched as I wiped my lip with the back of my hand, touching the swelling flesh with my tongue.  It smarted but there was no actual pain.

“Really?” I shook my head.  “Yeah, I kissed him… on the cheek, Danni, as always, per usual.”  I wiped my hand and watched as she pulled the blade from the back of her jeans, where she had attached the sheath, and rolled my eyes.  “Put that away, Dan.”

“You know, I waited for you to come clean, to admit that you wanted him, that you had more feelings than just the bullshit  _ need  _ that the two of you are always spouting off about but you didn’t,” she laughed as she twirled it in her hand and it made me wonder if she knew anything about them, if she even knew that they wouldn’t touch either of us, but as I raised a hand to get her to stop and think, she swung. The feeling of it touching my arm was one thing, the tingle of it slicing the skin was something completely different and I watched the blood that dripped from my arm.  “I can’t take it, Ali.  I can’t live watching the two of you do what you keep doing.”

“Then what are you going to do about it, Danni?” I stepped forward, fully aware that her blade could harm me, but then again, a thought crossed my mind and I needed, absolutely needed to make sure that what I was thinking was true. I closed the distance, egged her on, goaded her into doing what I wanted her to and just as I was close enough to only see the blue in her eyes, I watched her draw back her arm and thrust forward.  My hand came down on the handle, bracing over hers as I felt the tip penetrate my skin, just the tip before it wouldn’t go any further.

“NO!” Sam screamed coming out of the room as the two of us stood there, holding our breaths as Danni stepped back and looked down.  Sam slid on the gravel, coming to a stop beside us and watched as it was my turn to step back, but his eyes widened as he looked at the blade between us, the slice in my shirt, the blood that trickled from the small cut that the blade had managed to make before I touched it. “Jesus, Ali!”

“What the hell?”  Danni whispered in disbelief and suddenly she let go, letting the metal hit the ground as I released her hand.  I reached down, moved my shirt so that I could see the way the blood dried, but that there was no cut there, even the one on my arm had healed.  “What are you doing, Ali, what kind of magic are you pulling?”

“It’s the blades,” Cas whispered, stepping up beside us and Sam reached out, pulling me into an embrace, his hand wrapping around my waist as he held my head against his chest with the other. Danni backed up, bumping into the angel. “They’re not made to be used on the ones chosen to carry them, they’re made to be used on the evil that comes between them.”

“Bad choice of words, Cas,” I snapped and watched his eyes snap up to mine.

“Zadimus,” he corrected.  “The prophesied evil that the blades were intended for, nothing else.”

“And the demons that she uses it on?”  Danni questioned.

“It is a demon blade, essentially.” Cas shrugged and this made me shake my head. 

“Yeah, essentially,” I mocked and let go of my shirt before nestling into Sam’s safe arms.  That was when we heard the sound of boots on the dirt as Dean came up behind us.  He stopped and looked at the blade on the ground, the blood that soaked my sleeve and the coating on Danni’s hand.

“I leave for two seconds and what, all hell breaks loose?”  Dean growled and grabbed my arm, ripping the sleeve up to see there was nothing truly there.  After that, he took me by the chin, gently and looked at the swelling lip, the bruising cheek and the black eye I was probably going to have before he shook his head and released me. With a sigh, he stepped up, took Danni by the shoulders and looked her deep in the eyes.  “We talked about this, didn’t we?”

“We’ve talked about a lot of things, Dean,” she stated and shook her head, but I couldn’t see his face, just hers and she looked just as angry as she did when she stepped outside.  “But there isn’t anything getting done about them.  And you promised, Dean, you promised that this would get better.”

“I promised you that I would try and fix whatever was going on, and I’m trying, Danni, I really am, but trying to fix this,” his hand went around to include all five of us, “this is going to take some time, hell it might take getting right down to the wire, but you know I’m a man of my word, Dan, you know I will do everything I can.”

“I want to go,” she growled at him.  “Take me back to the bunker, take me to the cabin, but Dean, you need to take me away from  _ her _ !”

“Why Danni?” Dean tried to be calm, tried to get us to understand just what was going on, what kind of conversation they had almost every night.  “You know I can’t leave.”

“No, you can’t leave her.”

“Or Sam, or Cas, Danni, it’s not just her in this, it’s all of us.” He released her for a moment, rubbed his forehead and glanced at Sam, who still kept me in a protective stance. “When this is over, we’ll go back to the bunker,” he said, reaching out a hand to take hers.  “I promise, it will just be you and me.”

“So, you keep saying,” she snatched her hand away and turned, leaving him standing there as she made her way back to the room.  Dean turned and looked at me, closed his eyes as he rubbed his brow and made a noise like he was sucking on his teeth before he turned and followed her.

Sam’s lips came down on my head as he tilted my head to see the bruises that were starting to swell, and he sighed, but my eyes were on the blade that was lying on the ground, forgotten by the woman inside. Her blade vibrated differently than mine, but the pull to hold it was still too much and I saw the flash in my vision as I turned my gaze on the doorway once more.


	59. DH God Killers  -26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John had more secrets than we could count... and one we could count on.

**Chapter 26**

I dropped the book in my hand, heard it thump on the floor, and rolled my eyes at the ceiling, as I took in the old boards and the way John had nailed them all together, like a little puzzle all his own, something that he could pick apart and put back together, and ugh! It was ugly and infuriating because I found myself staring at it endlessly.  

Sam walked by, ran his fingers gently over my forehead as I lay on the old dusty couch at the cabin. Cas thought it would be a wise idea to leave as soon as possible after Danni’s blow up, not that I argued, or minded being locked away in a secluded place with Sam, but I could feel the tug of the tether to Dean and it set me on edge.

Cas apparently also thought it would be a brilliant idea to try and get her ramped up on angel juice before crap like that happened again. My face was inclined to protest but then again, maybe I deserved to be punched a few times, I mean Dean and I did have a unique relationship and if I were in her shoes, yeah, I would probably get a little pissed not knowing why… which we still hadn’t quite figured out yet.

So, Sam, yeah, he was standing with a book open in one hand, the thick spine resting his massive palm and with the other, he was mindlessly playing with my hair, which was fine, but I was getting antsy laying on the couch doing not much of anything, and books were not holding my interest.

My first thought was this: Sam and I, alone in a cabin, in the middle of nowhere, with no one around. You could see where my mind was going, but then I had another thought as I looked around the room, caught the sight of a shelf braced against the wall that separated the kitchen and dining area. Yeah, I get it, what the hell is the big deal with a shelf but it wasn’t the object but what was on it.  The top was graced by the large stuff statue of a hawk with its wings spread wide but there was just something there, at the base that caught my attention.

I sat up quickly, which took Sam’s hand away from me and I could feel his eyes on me as I made my way over to the shelf, dragging a chair, and climbed up. Not the best idea when the wooden chair under your feet seemed to groan with the weight of a five-foot-nothing person, but I chanced it as I reached up, and over, even stretching up on my tiptoes, to grab what felt like the leather binding of a book.

Pulling it down, I coughed as the dust that slid from it caught me right in the face and waving it away, then running a hand down to clean it off, I jumped down from the chair and made my way over to Sam, unwinding the leather strap that held it closed.

“What’s that?”  He questioned and sat down beside me on the couch as I got comfortable.  It couldn’t have been much bigger than a journal, maybe a six by nine size and when I opened the first page, there was a devil’s trap and other sigils that graced the aging yellow paper.  “What the hell, it’s warded.”

“Yeah, pretty heavily.” I added and gently flipped the page once again and read the date, in the same handwriting that belonged to John on the letter he had written to me when I was born. This was John’s journal. “October 30, 2006.”

“Wait, that’s after the hospital, after Dad made the deal to save Dean.” Sam’s voice had just a touch of excitement in it but at the same time, I could hear it crack with a little different emotion.  “Keep reading.”

“I decided to start this journal to keep myself sane. I’ve been having blackouts.  Well, not so much blackouts as dreams, waking dreams that I just can’t shake.  I see where I’m going, I know what I’m doing but it’s not me controlling well… me.” I paused, and thought back to when I was standing outside my body, when Zane was controlling mine and I shivered. Sam’s hand immediately came down to the back of my neck, giving me the support I needed as I pulled the book up again and continued to read.  “He came to me less than a month ago, as I try to stay one step in front of the boys, hoping to figure this out before they do.  I need to get the demon out, but like I said,  _ He _ came to me.  He explained everything, told me what he needed me for, who he was there to protect and how could I say no to that? How could I tell him that no? I couldn’t do anything to protect Ali, or Dean or even Sam, so yes, I agreed.  I let the demon in and he pushed the other one out.

“He said his name was Asmodeus and that there were big plans that I needed to help set in motion.  The only stipulation, I needed time to be me, and not let the demon take over completely.  So, this should work.  On my time, when I’m solely me, I’m going to make an entry in this journal, and pray that the boys find it, because everything I learn about how to stop it, I’m going to put here.  It’s warded, nothing evil can touch it, the devil’s trap keep the demons from going past the first page, and even if they made it through that warding, unless you’re human, you’re not seeing these words.  I need to make this work, I need to save my boys and that girl.  I know there is another one out there, I just need to find her, and then, hope to God this helps them.”

Sam sat back, and I held the book up, using the spine as a handle so that it could let the paged flip like a comic flip book, just to see what we were looking at. Every single page was covered in writing, symbols, spells, ways to ward, things to know, drawings of the blades, everything that John learned, he put in the binding of this book.

“Jesus,” Sam sighed and stood shaking his head as he put the volume he was holding down on the coffee table and pressed his fist against the wood. “This whole time I thought Dad was just gone, that he had let the demon take over.”

“Is that why you weren’t surprised when you found out about the night your mom died?” I watched as he licked his lips and nodded.  “So, you knew that John had made a deal with Asmodeus?”

“No, I knew that Dad was doing something that had been struck years ago,” Sam sighed.  “Look,” he whispered, turning to me. I watched him run a hand over his mouth, like he was about to confess his greatest sin, but his hands came down and took mine as he inhaled deeply, “don’t tell Dean, but I saw Dad in December of that year, he told me everything. About Mom, the deal with the demon and the reason, or at least some of the reason that he was doing it.  He never told me about you, Ali, never once did he say anything about you, which is why the letter shocked me, why the fact that he pulled you from the river or hell even this is a bit of a shock to me.  He only told me that he was doing it for us and that sometime in the future we would understand the reason behind it. I hated that I had to keep it a secret from Dean, but Dad swore there was something bigger in it for him, some bigger part that Dean had to play, and I couldn’t put that on Dean knowing that we didn’t have a timeline. I watched the demon return, the way it told me that I would never see him again, I thought he was truly gone.”

“Don’t blame yourself for not knowing, Sam,” I whispered as I looked into his eyes and sighed. “Sometimes, we do the stupidest things for that we think are the right reasons because of the people we love.”

“Yeah, he could have reached out, we could have helped him.”  Sam growled, his dark side coming out, the darkness and anger that he managed to keep in check was brimming and I could see it in his eyes.

“He’s a Winchester, and more than that, he’s your father, where the hell do you think you learned to be so pigheaded from, Sam?”  I laughed and watched as he rolled his eyes, knowing I was right.  “If you and Dean are this way, what makes you think John would be any easier to convince to take the easy way out, to ask for help or not sacrifice himself for his sons, for family?”

“What did he say to you before he died?” Sam asked, moving over to sit in front of me. I was surprised the table held his weight, but it has thick legs and a very sturdy top, it didn’t even move when he sat down, didn’t protest against his weight.

“He said I was beautiful,” I whispered, never forgetting the words that came from his mouth, ones that still haunted me, “he said he was tired, so tired, that he hadn’t slept in so long, all he wanted to do was sleep.” I held up the book, “this would be why he never closed his eyes, he was always watching so he could write it all down.” I blinked back the tears and licked away the dryness of my lips before I was able to meet Sam’s eyes. “He told me that you needed me, Danni and Dean needed me, and to not let the darkness take over, and then he asked me to let him go.”

I let the tears fall now, because that was the only way I was getting through this and I know that it hurt and probably for the first time since then, since I shut everything off, I really felt the loss, really let the knowledge of what I had done sink in. I looked up at Sam, whose eyes were filled with tears, some streaming down his face already and I shook my head.

“I’m sorry Sam, I couldn’t just let him keep going like that,” I said with ragged breaths and he nodded, reaching a hand out, placing his palm against my cheek as I tried to breathe through the emotions.  “He asked me to let him go, Sam, and I did, I…” I shook my head thinking of the man’s eyes, the smile on his face before I was caught in the blue-green of Sam’s. “He said thank you.”

And that was it, with those last words, I was in his arms, wrapped tightly against him as I let the tears fall, let the emotions run wild in me and Sam kissed my head, laid his cheek against the top of it and tangled his fingers in my hair.

We stayed that way for a while, just holding each other, neither one wanting to let go, but the book on the table just begged to be read and finally, when the cell phone rang and the quiet moments were interrupted by the sounds of Metallica, definitely a Dean ringtone, I sat back on the couch. Sam stood, clearing his throat before he walked over and grabbed the device from the table.  Placing it to his ear, I heard him mumble “yeah” into the speaker as I reached for the book.

Flipping to the last page, because who doesn’t read the ending first? I sat back and read over the last entry in the book, the very last thing that John wrote before the end.

_ January 2015, I forget the date, the real date, though I’m sure a Sunday.  It has a thing for Sundays.  It’s the only time that it lets me go, at least for a little bit.  So, every time it does, I write this down.  I checked on the boys this week, or it did, but it didn’t matter because they never saw me.  Somewhere in Colorado, hunting something just insane.  So many things have changed, so many new monsters.  So much death. _

_ They’re amazing, my boys, hunters, the best in the world.  Bobby did a great job.  Some bunker in Lebanon, my father’s legacy. Thank God, they found it, someone needed to find it. Now they have a home, a solid home and I hope to hell they keep it. _

_ Sam seemed to be more in control, but still, I wonder what would have been different if… _

_ Dean’s done a fine job of keeping him on track, and of doing what he needs too. I wish he had gone to Yale, I wish I had known about it. _

_ They still lean on that Angel too much, the one that’s always sneaking around here. _

_ But the girls, they amaze me. _

_ Checked on them too.  Alison is amazing, keeping up with three kids, and what she fights inside.  It will have a hard time with her, at least closer to the end, she’ll fight this all the way. She never even knew I was close, bumped into her at the grocery store while investigating a haunting, stopped in to see Jones, he knew just where to find her.  Power! The power that comes from her already is so much and she hasn’t even tapped into it yet.  Remind me to kill the demon before I die, the one that helped her grandmother, son of a bitch set her up for this but he locked it away so she couldn’t use it to protect herself.  She needs to protect herself. _

_ Danni is amazing, you can see her light. Brought in Sans, that black lab that I picked up, to her clinic while in OK, damn near lost the stupid animal, but she fixed him.  SHE fixed him.  I watched it. There wasn’t a Vet nearby and she quieted him, soothed and she didn’t even see that she fixed him.  No wonder the Vet said she was amazed there wasn’t more damage when he ran out in front of the car.  She has the light, definitely and boy are they going to make a pair when they come up against it. _

_ It’s returning, I have to go. Someday they’ll find these, maybe too late, but they’ll still find these and I hope they know how much I loved them.  I tried boys, I really tried. _

  1. _The fireplace seems to need a good cleaning, Sam_.



Okay, first off there were multiple things in this entry that really got me going, one: not only did John know about my powers, he knew about my grandmother and Crowley.  He knew about  _ Jones _ ??? Hell, he  _ knew _ Jones, which was weird because looking back now, I could see how close we got and how quickly.  Jones was told to protect me. I moved into that town in 2014, John was there in 2014.  If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him for keeping that secret.  I might just have to substitute Jones instead, and try to get some answers before I offed him.

Two: yeah, still kinda going with this list.  He knew about Danni, I mean he would since he knew everything the demon did, but he checked in on her. That amazed me, he was so close and we didn’t even know it.  She could heal the animals? She was playing with her powers way before this and didn’t even realize. I smiled and shook my head, I wonder if she would listen to any of this right now, especially with what was going on.  Dean and Sam! He knew about them, about Cas, about the bunker!

It was the last line that really got me, the little post scriptum.  _ The fireplace seems to need a good cleaning, Sam. _ Why Sam? Did he know that we would be the ones here? Could he foresee the two of us doing just what we were right at this very moment? But my eyes went over to the small fireplace that lay tucked into the wall and I got up.  It looked like it hadn’t been used in ages, but then again, it had been replaced by a wood stove that sat by the front door, so the possibility that years had passed, even two years, without use was pretty high.

I heard Sam turn, his voice growing louder as he watched me place the book down and move over towards the iron gate.  Iron, smart choice, not much could get past it, but I reached out, still a little mindful of the fact that, yeah, I was harboring some pretty evil crap these days, but when my hands fell on it, nothing happened.

“Dean, I’ll call you back,” Sam whispered, knowing he was intrigued by the way I was crouched down trying to look into the darkness. “No, Man, I’m telling you, she’s good. Yeah… I got to go.”

I heard the cell hit the table and suddenly, Sam was crouched by me, flashlight in hand and we both seemed to have the same idea at the same time.  He reached over, grabbed a blanket and put it down on the floor, stuffing some of it into the empty, but sooty opening before both of us laid back and looked up into the darkness.

“What are we looking for?”  Sam questioned, finally and I turned my head to smile at him.

“Way to just jump right in without questions,” I laughed and caught his smile.  “John left this message at the end of his last entry.  The fireplace is in need of a good cleaning, Sam.”

“Okay… that’s not weird at all.” Sam mumbled and shined the flashlight into the hole above us.  “So, what are we looking for?”

“Something you might be the only one able to find, because it was specific to you, Sam.”

“All right,” he whispered as he looked around and I waited in silence as he did so. He was thinking, everything in his body had tensed as he multitasked, looking around the inside of the chimney and bringing up memories at the same time. And then it hit, I could see it in his eyes as they sparked and his flashlight stopped.  “So, get this, when we were younger, Dad taught us a game, he called it “See Me Not”, it was like hide and seek but the object of the game was to learn how to blend in, disappear without really disappearing. You know, hiding in plain sight.”

“And this has to do with cleaning the chimney how?” I watched as his eyes scanned the darkness once more and a smile came across his face as he reached up and tapped on the brick above us.

Nothing, no soot, no ash, nothing feel from the spot and he grinned as he looked at me, before tapping again.  That was definitely not a sound a brick would make and he handed me the flashlight. Holding it up so that he could see what he was doing, Sam’s fingers seemed to caress the edges of what looked like a rectangle and suddenly he dug them in deep.  The ‘brick’ gave way and started to slide out.

“Go,” he whispered and slowly the two of us shimmied from our spots in the fireplace as he drew out that looked like a box from the inside. Dropping it where I had been laying, since I was now sitting up watching him, I saw that it was a shoebox and as the man sat up, he turned and pulled the container from the blanket and looked up at me, sighing.  “Good old Dad, never one to make something easy to find.”

Sam moved over to the coffee table, where I had set the journal and placed the box down.  John must have spent days of his free time without the demon painting this thing, because no one would have ever known that it was just a box.

“I can feel it,” I whispered as the whole thing started to vibrate, and Sam looked up at me, watching me shiver as I sat back just a little bit.  Whatever was in there was powerful.

“We can wait for Cas,” he whispered, his stare locked on me as I was locked on the box.

“No, go ahead, open it.”  I replied, took a deep breath and got myself together. Sam nodded, waited until he thought I was ready and then unclipped the rusty metal snaps that kept it shut.

Inside was an old book.  Of course it was a book, I mean, what else would we need  _ one more of _ besides a book, but that one word came from Sam’s mouth and I rolled my eyes.

“Huh,” he whispered and reached in, picking it up gently like it was very fragile before sitting back and resting it on the table.  I watched has his hand lovingly graced over the cover and traced the spine.

“Do you and the book need some alone time?”  I questioned, smiling and watched the smirk come across his face but he didn’t answer me, he just untied the strap that held it closed and opened it to a random page.  His eyes scanned over the Latin, and it wasn’t just regular Latin… “It’s Archaic.”

“You mean like on the bottom of the parchment that your Dad gave me?  That kind of Archaic?” I moved from my side of the table to sit down beside him as we both looked over the pages. Each one was just like John’s journal, filled with spells, notes, wards, symbols, sigils and pictures, but this one concentrated on one major topic. Zadimus. “I don’t think we should be playing with this, at least not without reading it first.”

“Looks like a guide of what to do against him,” Sam whispered and stopped on a page, his fingers brushed over the wording and he sighed before he read it to me. “A binding spell for the powers of the blades,” he cleared his throat, “nothing is more powerful than when the blades are in close proximity. When they are, the vibration of power grows, the destruction they can cause is beyond measure, but they can also be used for healing.  Binding them together at the right moment causes those powers, the Light, to be pronounced, thus taking over the darkness.”

“So, what does that mean?  We bind the blades and I stop going dark side?” I questioned, but Sam just shook his head slightly, a little confused but a lot unsure.

“We’re not binding anything else until we’ve got this whole thing figured out,” he closed the book and set it in the box, closing the lid tight before he turned to me, leaned on one arm to support himself and used the other hand to reach out, caressing my cheek with his thumb.  “Ali, I’m not going to say the book is something we can use, not with a title like that.”

“Like what?” I placed my hand on his wrist, curling my fingers and saw him take a deep breath.

“Finis Omnium,” he whispered, “the End of All.”

“Okay, well that’s not ominous at all,” I sighed, but my eyes went to John’s journal.  There had to be something in there, something worth looking over.

My sight locked on Sam’s, on the way he scanned my face, knowing I was distracted and slowly, he leaned forward. His lips were just a light brush, like he was testing the waters, at least that was my thought, until he moved, adjusting us both so that he was kneeling before me, his hand on the middle of my back as the other still caressed my cheek.

I reached up and grabbed his shirt, feeling like I was a little unbalanced, and he smiled against my lips as he slowly lowered me down to the carpet. The hand on my back slid down, smoothing over my ass before he grabbed my knee and pulled it over, allowing for the space for him to place his body as he situated himself between them.

Sam’s kiss became demanding, not that I didn’t want it that way, I loved when he was passionate, unburdened and very much out of control, but this wasn’t him letting go, this was him trying to reassure himself and I wasn’t about to stop him from doing what he needed, not if it made me feel good in the process.

Once situated on the floor, when he was able to move without the threat of falling over, his touch moved to my hip, running along my thighs, thumbing hard over the heat between them, which he smiled at when he was able to pull a moan from my lips. Those hot hands just seemed to get warmer as they glided beneath the material of my shirt, pressing against the skin at my waist, moving up until I couldn’t take the fact that I was dressed anymore and helped him remove the damn thing.

His laugh was deep and needy but amused at the same time, as he tugged off his own shirt, grabbing it by the shoulder and pulling it over his head, only to come back down to my lips, crashing hard against me as he tucked it under my head.  Now I was surrounded, now all I could smell in every direction was Sam, and that was a turn-on itself.

The jeans went next, teasingly as his lips danced over mine, but his fingers knew just what to do and it seemed like magic, or more to the fact, I was so lost in the feeling of his mouth and his body that it was as if the material between us had suddenly disappeared.

With Sam, foreplay was fun, more than fun, amazing, but never necessary, there was no way that I would never want him, never not crave his touch or want to feel him deep inside, so as he slipped in, his hips rocking in a slow, torturous movement, the only thing I felt was the wave of ecstasy that flowed through me.

I wrapped my legs around his hips, heard him growl against me as he was finally situated as far as he could go, thick and needy, and his hand cupped my ass, settling me down on his thighs as he tucked his legs underneath him and held me there. What an interesting position and one that he seemed to enjoy just as much as I did, considering that it hit just the right spot every time he moved.

It didn’t take long for the two of us to build, and it seemed to take even less for us to come crashing down around each other.  A frantic movement of friction, a driving desire to hear the other moan, had our mouths traveling over skin, nipping and kissing as our bodies moved with the waves that his pace created, and oh the pleasure of it. It was almost electric, how the shocks vibrated through my body, touching every nerve that his body didn’t.

I heard him moan, that one, deep-throated growl that told me he was close, that he wasn’t holding on much longer and that sent my mind and body reeling. I wanted that noise, more than I ever knew, needed it to fill my memories and when he did it again, I was plummeting over the edge, clenching down around him, biting his lip gently before I let my head drop back, and the pleasure of it all escaped my lips.

He leaned forward, capturing me in the fold of his waist as both hands came up to tangle in my hair and his mouth moved down, gliding along my cheek as his body did the same, drawing out and pushing in before those lips stopped and I felt his teeth against my earlobe. What the hell! That man knew every trigger that had me letting go and that’s what happened.

The orgasm ripped through my body, making every muscle tense in a good way as his fingers tugged just a little and suddenly I felt him stiffen, move from long strides to short pumps as his body shook and his breath quickened, before the low growl of release left his throat.

He stayed just that way for a few moments, not moving any part of his body, letting me feel the pulsing inside as he put his head down on the carpet, his lips moved to my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around him the best I could, trying to close my eyes.

“I want to keep you here, forever.” He whispered against my skin and I smiled, knowing that it was only a want and not anything that could truly happen, but at that moment, I wanted it too.

“I love you, Sam.” I sighed quietly, adjusting myself against him, and he moaned as it touched very sensitive spots.

He backed away and looked me in the eyes, his face full of something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on and I watched as he bit down on his lower lip, searching for something, searching for anything and apparently finding it.

“Ali,” he spoke softly, as if with the next words out of his mouth, I might disappear.  “Marry me.”

This stopped me,  _ this _ stopped everything and I looked up at him, probably with shock clearing written in my features and the panic spread in his eyes.

I placed my hand against his cheek, let my thumb run over his lips and I smiled, a genuinely happy smile and I saw the relief on his face, as the corners of his lips turned up.

“Yes,” was my only reply as I grinned like a little school girl. There wasn’t a question of how, or when, or even if I would survive to see it through, but right then, it was everything that I wanted.  _ HE _ was everything that I wanted, always.  “I would love to marry you, Sam, I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he sighed, the smile still plastered on his face, but our joy was short lived with the sound of angel wings in the room and Sam looked up, over the couch, his arms wrapping around me to hold me against his chest, to cover everything and both of us watched Cas’ give him an annoyed expression.  “Cas? What the hell, Man?”

“Why are humans so shy about their bodies?”  Cas questioned, glancing over the two of us. “You were given something beautiful, you should show it more often.”

“Ah, not going to happen, Flyboy!” I laughed and watched as he looked at me, sighed and turned around. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve done what I could with Danni at the moment, I was coming to see how you two had made out.” Cas answered, his back still to us as we situated clothing.  “I can see that it must have been very good.”

“CAS!” I smiled, because he wasn’t talking about the books.

Sam laughed as he stood, pulled me to my feet and the two of us gathered up what we needed, like socks and shoes before Cas finally turned around and looked over us both. I sat on the couch pulling them on as Sam leaned his foot on the table, lacing up the boots.

“Something in here is off, there’s a new power,” Cas whispered and I smiled as he looked around, almost like a puppy with his nose in the air trying to sniff out the snacks, but his eyes landed on the box in the middle of the table.  “What is that?”

“It’s called the Finis Omnium,” Sam answered and went to flip open the snaps but Cas raised a hand.

“Probably not the best idea with me in the room. There is some sort of angel warding on it.” He warned and my eyes went from Cas to Sam. “You need to handle it delicately, especially around Danni, but I know what book you’re referring to and if used right, that can be a big help, I would suggest putting it in your room though.”

“Way to be cryptic, Cas.”  I sighed and stood, grabbing my coat as I stuffed John’s journal into the pocket. “So, what? You’re here to take us back?”

“Yes, it seems so, unless you need more time to…” Sam caught Castiel’s meaning and laughed.

“No,” Sam grinned and his eyes glanced over me, “no, we’re good.”

I let the smile come this time, let it fill me, and I took his outstretched hand before he scooped up the box and both of us made our way to the waiting angel.


	60. DH God Killers - 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm done playing around, so what are you going to do next?

**Chapter 27**

I was standing in the middle of our room, the one that Sam and I shared, just staring at the wall, waiting for that one moment, and it didn’t take long.  Sam had slipped out to grab something for lunch, had stopped at the room next door and confirmed with Cas, Dean, and Danni about what they would want for lunch and then he was off in the Charger, headed towards a Bistro in Old Town.

I don’t believe Sam was gone five minutes before the handle turned and I listened to it open, sighing because I could suddenly hear the whoosh of his heart.  I crossed my arms, let out a breath and turned in Dean’s direction.

“You shouldn’t be in here,” I shrugged and watched as he moved with caution, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans.  “You know that pull you feel, that’s the tether, and it’s going to get you in a lot of trouble.”

“I just…” his hand slipped out and he held it up as he stopped himself from coming any closer, “I just wanted to see if you were okay. Cas winged you out so fast I didn’t get to check and see if there was any real damage.”

“I’m a big girl, Dean, I can handle a fist fight.”

“But you didn’t handle it, Ali,” and that was when he closed the distance, that outstretched hand was suddenly on my cheek and I closed my eyes as the connection there grew warm.  I hated magic right at that moment, I hated what he had done to himself because it fed on what was already there, this link that we shared was now impossibly altered. I felt his heartbeat quicken when he wrapped his arm around my waist, his fingers pressing against the spots between my shoulder blades. “You didn’t even swing back, you just let her hit you.”

“For good reason, Dean, do you even know?  Do you even get it?  She’s going to choose between us, between the two people she loves the most because she can’t tell the difference between the good and evil sides.  Either I’m the evil she has to kill off to protect you, or you’re the one that is harmful to me, no matter which way this car crashes, it’s not going to be pretty, and seriously, Dean, you need to try and keep some distance.”

“I can’t do that,” he sighed and pressed his forehead against mine, “I thought the draw was strong before, I freaked out when you weren’t where I could see you, where I could protect you, but now… now I don’t know if I can let you out of my sight.”

I shook my head, placed my hands on his hips, my thumbs caressing the bones that I could feel there, one of the sexiest parts of the male body, but I gathered everything up and pushed back from him.  Looking up into his green eyes, I bit down on my lip and finally stepped from his embrace and watched as his fists clenched.

“Then do it from a distance,” I snapped, trying to sound angry, trying to make him see that I didn’t want him there, which was a blatant lie because despite everything, I wanted him there more. He was the one that was supposed to save me, he was the one that was supposed to end it for me. “Dean, I couldn’t… if she hurt you because of some stupid moral issue of what’s right and wrong… I couldn’t.”

Instantly, his arms were around me once again, this time it was a full embrace instead of him just holding me here and there.  His arms surrounded me and I shivered at the feeling of being so close to him.  The room began to vibrate, much like the blades did and I could feel his energy flowing into me.  Quickly, breathlessly, I pushed him back and shook my head.

“You need to go!” I scolded and watched the anger rise on his face. “I’m not kidding, Winchester, you need to get out of here now!”

“Porter, seriously?  Danni isn’t…” I closed my eyes, suppressing the urge to lash out, the need to let the energy off before I was able to open them again and saw the flash across my vision.  His body began to glow red and I dug my nails into my hands.

“Danni isn’t the problem,” I stated, begging for him to understand as the whole room turned black and the only thing I could see was the red outline of his body. “I am.”

“Ali,” he whispered and went to step closer, not really getting what the hell was going on and I shook my head. “Control it, Al, don’t let it control you!”

“Get away!”  I growled at him through clenched teeth and my hand went to the back of my jeans where I always kept the Walther he had given me.  I pulled it on him, held it out at arm’s length with a shaking hand, the anger growing in me and shook my head. “Before I hurt you, Dean, you need to get away!”

“Okay,” he said calmly, getting the picture finally as I took a step backwards.  “I’m going but I’m going to have Cas come in and check on you.”

“No!” I snapped, taking a second to try and gather the control I needed, “please, don’t! It will pass but Dean, just don’t.”

“Alright,” he agreed and put his hands up as he backed towards the door, took hold of the knob and twisted it.  The light from outside blinded me as he opened it wide enough to step out into, and with a little pause he said one last thing.  “I’m sorry, Ali.”

That was it, that was when I knew that it was over. He had seen the darkness rising and there was nothing stopping him now.  He knew what pure evil looked like, what  _ my _ evil looked like and it broke my heart. 

I lowered the gun, blinked away the feelings, tried to wall up the anger, but I couldn’t do any of it and finally fell to my knees, just waiting for it to dissipate, the gun at my side, as my eyes scanned the ever-growing blackness. I was trapped in it, at least until the moment passed and I concentrated on breathing, but with the light also came the pain, the searing heat behind my eyes and I curled up on the floor, closed my eyes again, and prayed that the headache went away.

I felt the blanket come down on me, the warmth of large hands brushing my cheek as I lay there and slowly I opened my eyes to look up at Sam. 

“Hey,” I whispered, taking his hand from my face as I moved to get up, but a wave of dizziness had me laying back down again.  “I think I’m just going to lay here for a while.”

“Yeah,” Sam laughed, brushing my hair back from my face, “you do that.” I felt him sit beside him, as I rolled over and wrapped my body around him, putting my head on his lap as I pushed my body against his hips and backside. His fingers ran through my hair, making it hard to resist closing my eyes.  “Dean told me what happened.”

“Ugh,” I groaned and let my fingers spread wide on his thigh, “I forgot about Dean. I mean, I didn’t forget, but I need to check on him.”

“He’s okay, Ali,” Sam’s voice had a slight smile to it, “he’s a big boy, he can handle getting yelled at by a girl.”

“It was so much more than that, Sam,” I whispered, more of a sigh, “I pulled my gun on him.”

“Yeah, he told me that too.” His fingers followed the line of my hair around to the back of my neck and he gently moved back to my jaw, it was all so soft, almost like a feather.  “To bad you didn’t pull the trigger.”

My eyes snapped open at that comment and I found myself standing in an alley. I looked around, at the night sky above me and the darkness that surrounded me. I heard the laugh in the darkness, and whirled to see if I could pinpoint it but there was nothing.

What the hell was up with the alleyways and warehouse storage yards, anyway?

I could feel the blade vibrating in my hand, but couldn’t remember when I picked it up, but my body seemed to know just what to do as I moved out of the walls, and into the middle of Old Town.  It was dark, as if all the lights had been shut off, as if the power had been cut, but that wasn’t all.  Where I was, all of the tables had been stacked and moved against the building, all the rails that were movable, were now gone, leaving the cobblestone wide open for anything that might come my way.

I could feel the vision taking over, the haze in my sight told me one thing. Demons were closing in.  Standing in the middle of a wide-open space was probably not the best tactic to use to get the jump on them and I moved back again, pressing to the building as I leaned on the brick. 

I could hear them approaching. By the sounds of the elephant footsteps I made out about ten of them, and one of the first thoughts in my head was how the hell did demons get away with anything if they couldn’t be stealthy.  My heart raced, my vision turned completely and all I saw was the faint shimmer of the approaching bodies when I peeked around the corner.  Just as the formation started to slow, like they picked up on my energy as much I picked up on theirs, I stepped out of the shadows. 

It wasn’t a conscious decision to expose myself at that point, but I had a feeling I wasn’t making a lot of my own choice anymore as I winced at the laugh inside my head. When they all turned to me, probably a good even mix of men and women, all dressed in average meat suits, but the weird things was, none of them had heartbeats, not human ones anyway.

Well that’s an interesting turn of events, demons that take over dead people, or they battered them so much that the human inside them no longer occupied the vessel, which would explain how deep the darkness in the smoky red color went.  Yeah, these were some of Zane’ power players, but my mind was curious on exactly why he kept choosing to send them to me for slaughter. Little lambs.

I stopped moving, put a good fifteen feet between me and the crowd and smiled, tossing the handle of the blade from one hand to the other.

“Hello, Children,” I grinned and finally the blade came to rest in my right hand. I felt the violence flash through me. “Let’s play a little game!”

They always say the first step is the hardest. With ten demons on you, every step is the hardest, but I moved around the best I could.  I felt the blade twist and turn, slice and plunge through flesh. An angel blade nicked me in the arm, across the leg but the one who held it never got the chance to really drive it home. As approached, I reached out a hand, almost what Crowley would do in the show, but I didn’t have to lay my full hands on him, I merely had to touch them.

I grabbed his arm, tightened my fingers around his beefy muscles and squeezed, my body did the rest. It was like an energy blast in his direction but as soon as he felt it, a soon as he started to spike, like I had just driven Dean’s demon blade deep, his power flowed back to the point of our contact and I felt the rush of energy that my body took on.  The sparking stopped, and the demon dusted out.

A very, very interesting turn of events.

It seemed to go on forever, as if when one died another popped into his spot, but no matter how many I killed, no matter how much I took from them, a body starts to give out at some point.  I was on that edge, where the blade was too heavy, where it took all I had to keep the strength up and wield it, but I kept going.

When you become just the warrior, your mind never thinks to look for allies, to figure out who has your back, or if anyone does.  You believe you are alone in the battle and no matter what you do, survival is first.  So, when I twirled back at the sound of a different blade colliding with the one a demon held, I never expected to see a light body there, a human standing with his back to me, very much engaged in a reckless dance of his own.

I watched the way he moved, even as I slide my blade across the neck of the demon before me.  He was graceful, as if he had done this a million times, knew every move, almost like a movie. When you watch something, or listen to it, it becomes a memory you can draw on and this was what it looked like to me.  He had seen this movie and he knew every move, except one.

Twirling to battle my own black-eyed foe, I watched him from the corner of my eye as the angel blade came down across his thigh and he stumbled.  It must have hit something important to see him falter, something he couldn’t rise from, but he did his best to stay standing, still swinging with blade and fist.

Turning to focus on the one in front of me, I jabbed the blade into its gut, feeling the sick movement of it through flesh, muscle and internal organs before I yanked it out and watched the spark behind it’s skin.  Power flowed from this one, just as much as all the others and I rolled my eyes as I watched him stare at me in shock. Why were they always shocked when they were about to die?

I rolled my eyes and moved onto the next, but as I spun around I realized, the only one standing was the monster that  _ he  _ was fighting, and losing. 

Making my way over, I put myself before the faltering man, facing the demon as he came at me, bigger than me, heavier, but my warrior had done a great job with this one, there wasn’t much fight left, but just enough for a blow to the face.  Why did it always have to be the face?  I punched back, the built up energy of the collective demons that I had inside me seemed to flow from that one punch and it sent him flying back.

I waited, stood with my back to the man behind me and watched as it charged. Swinging the blade again, this time it caught my stomach and I hissed at the feeling of it slicing my skin.  Nothing was going to heal, not until I needed it too, but it did manage to give me just that extra lift I needed, that extra dose of really pissed off.

I smiled up at him, lunged forward, an action that he didn’t think I was going to take and felt the blade slip through the fat of his gut, buried it deep and then yanked up on it as it finally split through ribs, breaking the cartilage from the bone in order to hit the heart.

With a cruel smile, I blinked, looked up into its black eyes and watched the first spark.  His hand came down on my shoulder as he drew back the blade and just as he was about to thrust it forward, I drew out mine from where it rested inside him and swiped down, severing the arm at his wrist.

The demon howled as he started to die, the spark fading from him and this one, this one I let go, watching his body stumble backwards, away from me and I turned quickly to the man behind me. He had fallen to his knees, but I still heard the way his knife lifted from the ground, and mine was instantly at his throat.

My hand grasped hold of his hair, yanking his head back as the edge of the blade rested under Dean’s chin. My breathing heavy from the exertion but I smiled at the clever man, because as I held him still at the head, his hand had managed to come up and the edge of his demon blade lay pressed against the main artery that ran the length of the inside of my thigh.  His other hand gripped the outside of the same one tightly and I could feel his fingers digging in.

“What do you have, some sort of twisted case of Stockholm’s?” I growled at him, giving his hair a tug, and I looked down at his bruised cheek, the blood that streamed from his split lip.  “How did you find me?”

“I heard your heartbeat,” Dean whispered and shook his head, suddenly stopping as the movement twisted the hair in my fingers, causing him more pain. “Ali,” his voice was pleading, and his fingers kneaded the tight muscle in my thigh as he looked up at me, “you need to stop this.”

“So you keep saying, but it isn’t going to stop Dean.  It isn’t going to go away!”  I leaned down as I felt the blade on my leg slip away, and then it fell against the concrete.

I could smell him the closer I got, everything that made him Dean to me was there at the top, anything that I would recognize as a person, that I had set to memory. Everything that he was seemed to ignite a fire in me but there was something different about him now, something that was added and I sighed.

I tipped his head back just a little bit as I looked deep into his eyes, at the pain there and I shook my head, glancing over the slice that was in his leg, the one that seem to be bleeding out and that was where his hand had gone. I sighed, closed the distance between us as I moved my blade slowly from his neck. He never moved, never put up a fight, even as I tugged on his hair once more, which got a small moan as a response and suddenly I felt the heat.  Power flashed through me, and I realized that the smell just underneath the surface was his blood.

I pressed my cheek close to his, feeling the stubble of the days without shaving and let out a breath as I slowly reached down and placed my hand above his, not touching him, not giving away the fact that I had stowed the blade and he could overpower me at any time. I pushed the power towards the wound and heard him hiss as it began to knit shut, as the blood stopped flowing out of him and that hiss turned into a groan, one of pain as it finally sealed itself but I didn’t move away from where my face touched his.

I breathed into his ear, shivering at the feeling of him so close, but he needed to know just how dangerous this was, how dangerous I had become and I pressed my lips there, close enough so that he could hear the growl in my voice.

“Stay. Away. From me!” I snapped at him, but didn’t move away.

He wouldn’t get it, he wouldn’t understand that this was life or death, that this warning was necessary. No, he would think that “Ali’s just being protective, she didn’t let the dark take over,” yeah, that would be what he would think and he would keep coming back. So, I needed to do something that he would truly hate me for, if he didn’t already.  I needed something to make sure he understood that this sealed the deal, that I was passed the point of Dean Winchester saving my ass… again!

I didn’t release him right away, instead I moved my cheek along him until I could feel his nose, just the tip of it touching the heat and I looked up into his green eyes, ones that were staring at me with confusion.  If this didn’t get him, nothing would and I prayed that Danni forgave me but this man was one stubborn son of a bitch and it need to be done.

My lips brushed against him, his warm breath seemed to fill me as I took in the taste of him. Dean was a warrior through and through and the feel of his mouth against mine was almost too much. Just the brush of them together wouldn’t be enough, he would see through that, but he might associate it with the demon in the warehouse.  No, I need more. My free hand captured him under his chin as the one in his hair tightened and I kissed him with everything I had.  It wasn’t passion, it wasn’t need, it was anger, pure and simple, but he leaned up into it, as my tongue traced his lips and the kiss deepened.

I growled against him, a deep-throated thing that made me sound possessive, and suddenly I backed away, releasing him from my hold and with my body exhausted and fighting to stay standing, I wiped the blood from under my lips with the back of my hand.  His eyes were locked on mine, searching for something human and I let the power flicker across, let the vision change to see that I wasn’t coming back, not anytime soon and his eyes went wide.

“Next time, Dean, I won’t take that blade away, so stop listening to my heart, stop following that vibration.  Because the next time you and I meet like this, you better be ready to use that blade, Ali won’t be here anymore!” I turned and stumbled, but caught myself as I moved into the darkness, leaving him sitting there, healed enough to move, but shocked enough to be frozen in his spot.

I managed to stumble from one alley in Old Towne so some unrecognizable spot somewhere else in the city, but giving Dean the energy I had to heal him seemed to kick my ass harder than the dozen demons Zane had sent after me.

I lost my balance, reached out my hand to brace the wall and finally just gave up. Sliding down to the wet, stinking ground, I pulled one leg up and reached my eyes to the sky.  I was weak, I was bleeding from the cuts of the angel blades and I had no energy left to even possibly heal anything myself.

Tears ran down my cheeks, as I blinked away the emotions of just giving up, just letting it take over and giving into the darkness but I thought about my kids and how they were so oblivious to this world. Wait, no, oblivious wasn’t the word.  They knew all about it, I never kept it a secret from them.  They knew the lore, the saw the books on the craft, they studied just as much as I did because in our house we believed in the supernatural, we just never thought it was real.

Only my oldest knew, only he recognized what I was painting on the ceiling above the door, only he seemed to get the need for the protection spells on the basement and he told me that he got it, that he knew what he needed to do should a situation arise.  I had introduced him to Jones, and together they had formed a sort of friendship that would keep the three of them protected should the need come, and looking at this now, looking at the way the darkness was taking over, he was going to have to use that contact to keep his brother and sister safe.

My heart thumped against my chest, and I swallowed hard as the darkness threatened to take me.  Not the evil that resided in me but the darkness of unconsciousness. I felt my lips tremble as the stars twinkled above me and I tried to find my voice.

“Cas,” I whispered, knowing that it was probably not strong enough to reach him, “Cas, I’m so sorry.  I tried.” I admitted as the tears fell from the corners of my eyes. “Keep them safe, don’t let Sam do anything stupid. Keep Dean on the straight and narrow, he’s liable to go off like a rocket.  Make sure Danni keeps the light.  Watch my kids, Cas! Watch my kids and make sure they grow up to be something great, show them the way.” My voice faltered at the edge of consciousness, and I sniffled back to try and catch a breath.  “Cas, if you can hear me, keep your promise, or make Dean do what he has too, but keep your promise, Angel.”

“So touching!” Zane’s voice echoed through the alley and I slowly turned my head, a smile on my bloodied lips as I watched him walk towards me, not at all surprised to see him in my weakest hour.

“Go away!” I sighed and shook my head. “I’m done, Zane, what more do you want from me?”

“You’re not done, Precious, you’re just giving in, letting what’s really inside you take over.” He smiled and squatted down beside me. I felt his fingers brush my cheek and I fought closing my eyes at the touch.  I was cold and his hands were so warm. “Just let go, just… let the darkness take over inside you. You’re so powerful, Love, so much more than I knew.”

“Wasn’t powerful enough to end you,” I sneered and tried to move away from him, but I just couldn’t, everything had gone out of me.  He leaned in close, his lips against my cheek as he inhaled the smell of my skin, but backed away in a huff.

“Hmm, now that’s an interesting twist.” He smirked. “Not just one Winchester on your skin, but two, you have both those boys wrapped around your little fingers, don’t you? My, my you are a cunning one.  Tell me, Kitten, which one do you want more?”

“Screw you, Zane!” I sighed and pulled away from him, but his hand came up and caught my jaw, holding me in place as he kissed along the edge of my cheekbone, right up to my ear.

“My pleasure,” he laughed and hauled me up the wall. 

I had no struggle left in me, nothing to fight back with and as his body pressed against mine, I stared into the darkness. I could feel his hand on my shirt, snaking up underneath it and I never moved, but when his lips came down on mine. When his mouth covered the breath that I let out, something in me stirred.  Something dark and dangerous and I found my hand up in his hair, gripping it tightly, just as I had done to Dean.

That sealed it, that one little image of Dean kneeling before me, my lips on his. The image of Sam flashing as he hovered above me with the words “marry me” on his lips.  Danni’s smile as we sat across from each other in the little Hideaway Café, and the way she laughed when we were down at the river.  These images, these people brought me back and I moved into his kiss, gave into everything evil about it and I took it over as he held me up.

The depth of my soul seemed to crack then, a large pop in my ear and I felt it throughout my body.  What the hell was I doing? What the hell was I letting  _ him _ do?  With the sound of a snarl, something from way down inside, something low and fierce, I pushed him back, and stared into his glowing blue eyes.

“Don’t touch me!” I felt the vibration sing through me, something that made him step back, releasing me from my hold as I locked on his eyes.  “Don’t you ever think that I will ever give you permission to do anything to me, body or soul!”

“Oh, sweetness, I don’t need your permission to do anything.” He smiled something that was pure evil and he pushed the waves back at me.  My whole body sung as just the power itself had me pressed against the wall. Zane blinked, that sly grin grew wider.  “I’m going to enjoy wiping the scent of those Winchesters from your body, inside and out.”

“You’ll never win, Zane!”  I forced it out, breathlessly, not bothering to dial back my own power as he grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged my head away from the wall.

“Oh, but I think I already have,” and with that his smile turned to a sneer as he slammed my head back against the wall. 

The feeling of being on the verge of unconsciousness as he held me up, the heaviness of my arms and weakness of my legs told me one thing.  I was in some serious trouble, but my mind still tried to focus, tried to find a way out, even as he wrapped his arm around my waist and lowered me to the ground.

I blinked to stay awake, but the fuzzy gray area around my vision started to close in.  The light flickered out, and I could make out the way Zane looked in human form, before it flashed back to the red, trying to keep me aware as he straddled my legs, reaching down to the waist of my jeans.  I was beaten, bruised, cut and bleeding but my mind was hanging on, as if calling out like a beacon.

I wanted to let go, wanted to fade into the night and leave it all behind, but it wouldn’t let me.  I could hear my heartbeat, the strong steady whoosh of my blood and I blinked again with heavy eyelids before the shadow loomed over Zadimus.  I wanted to smile, wanted to just take it all in but just as my sight gave out, the bright white light of an angel blade piercing his chest and the warmth spread over me just as quickly as the darkness.

I heard the body drop more than actually seeing it, and suddenly felt warm hands on my neck, checking for a pulse.  Those hands moved to the cuts and damage done in the fight, making sure there was nothing that needed to have pressure applied.  I moaned, hoping to tell them to stop, to just let go, but the sound only brought whoever it was closer, and the touch of a thumb over my lips brought the feeling of familiarity at the same time that it brought me peace.

“Hold on, Ali,” his voice whispered, but whose voice was it, someone that I knew, someone close but I couldn’t distinguish the difference between anything over the steady sound of the beat. I was lifted then, a strong arm under my neck, one under my knee, cradling me against his strong chest and I could smell him, everything about him, but who was he?  Why couldn’t I place him? 

It didn’t matter, not really, because I was giving in, and as I faded into the silence, I heard him one last time.

“For God’s sake, Ali, hold on.”


	61. DH God Killers - 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out just how big my deal with Cas is getting, and yes Sam, I really did do that.

**Chapter 28**

I leaned against the dresser, my arms crossed over my chest, my legs crossed at the ankles and I watched the commotion by the bed.  Dean had pulled up a chair, Sam sat on the edge of the bed.  Danni was up by the very top where they had literally unscrewed the nightstand and moved it out of the way.  I could see her feet from where I stood, okay, I should say I could see  _ my _ feet from where I stood, because I was watching them hover over my body.

When it happened this time, when I was pushed out and stood there as a detached spirit, it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.  This time, I took it as a saving grace because whatever the me on the bed was feeling, I, as I stood there watching, was completely numb. 

So, as I said, Dean had pulled up a chair, his hand curled into a fist, and then the other lay across it but they were pulled up to his lips, as his leg bounced.  He was never a patient man. Sam, on the edge of the bed around the area of my waist, held onto my hand, as he pulled up some of the gauze from a bleeding wound, the emotion on his face was one of pain and shock.  Danni was wiping away the blood from my face, neck and any exposed skin to see what the real damage was and Cas… this made me look around the room.  Cas wasn’t there.

My thoughts turned to the roving angel and watched as he seemed to hear them, or it was just dumb coincidence that he stepped through the door at that point in time.  He set books, jars, blades and bags upon the table, stripped off his canvas jacket and moved over to the end of the bed, his hand coming down on Dean’s shoulder as the green eyed one looked up at him before letting out a sigh.

“Any change?”  Cas questioned, because yeah, no one else said a thing.

“Nothing yet,” Sam said in a hushed voice, one of disbelief and sadness.  I’m thinking he’s pretty sure I’m not coming back from this one, and Cas found a spot next to his friend at the end of the bed, doing what the others were, staring at the body that hadn’t moved except to breath.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“There is a time and place where all of us must decide a course of action.” A strange male voice spoke to me, and I straightened as I slowly turned to my right. 

Standing next to me was a man, taller than Dean, just a bit shorter than Sam, broad shoulders, light brown hair that looked as if he had just raked his fingers through it and bright eyes, the kind that you could just see his heart in, but this one, this person was someone I recognized. And that was all I needed was one more angel trying to help me out.

“What are you even doing here Gadreel?”  I growled, and watched Cas turn in my direction. His eyes just washing over the area I was standing in, not really seeing me. But with the arrival of Gadreel came the burning question, what happened to Kevin in this timeline.

“Ah, yes, I forgot you would recognize me in this body.” He smiled and came to stand beside me at the dresser, his hand folded in front of him as he watched what the others were doing.  “This is not the end you know.”

“Certainly feels like it.” I moved to sit up on the wood, pushing aside some things that were there, papers that were in my way and Cas once again looked in our direction.  “I’m just waiting on Tess to come pick me up.”

“Do you know why you’re standing here?” He questioned and I rolled my eyes because, obviously, he had something to say and in the angel’s usual round-about fashion, he would get there eventually, so I settled my eyes on him and raised a brow for him to continue.  “You’re standing out here, and not trapped in that pain because of what’s inside you.”

“A demon?”  I shrugged.

“A conscience.” He replied.

“So my conscience decided to kick “me” out so, what, so I couldn’t feel the pain? So that I could watch my loved ones freak out from the outside?”

“No, so you could make a decision,” Gadreel smiled and looked down at me, because, yeah, even sitting he was still taller and I searched his blue eyes.

“How come you’re not like Cas, not so stoic and “I don’t understand that reference?” I watched the smile fade to an embarrassed grin and his eyes went to the floor.

“Long ago, my name was something else, something… different.  I was someone different and I made mistakes.” He didn’t seem so embarrassed about the mistakes he made, he seemed proud and even a little fond of them.  I watched the blush come up on his cheeks.  “I fell in love, which is not something that angels do often, if ever, but who I fell for was not one of favor and from that union came something terrible, but beautiful at the same time.  Life itself is always beautiful, the power behind it was became evil.  I was banished, locked away for a very long time, until I was able to see the errors of my ways.”

“Ah-huh, that smirk and that little flush feeling on your face, that’s not error, that acceptance and the whole “yeah, let’s try that again” thing is written in your eyes.  Who was it, your forbidden love? Who had you so tied up that you would go all Romeo and Juliet?” I said with curiosity and watched as his face dropped, the emotions turned in a direction I hadn’t expected.  Gadreel was sad, almost painfully so. “Jesus, you’re Seraphiel!”

He turned at the sound of the name and stared me in the eyes, “I have not been, not for a very long time. Where did you hear that name?”

“Asmodeus told me, when he spouted off the story of your little love child and my ancestors.  He thought you were dead, but what, you were locked away this whole time?”  I wanted to know, in fact with a second chance to get answers, I wanted to know everything.

“Yes, and no.” He sighed.  “I was locked away, as I said before, until I was reborn Gadreel, but I didn’t stay away. When Asmodeus took John Winchester, when he set into motion the actions that were needed to bring you and Danni here, to activate the blades, I went to him.  I was the reason for the wards in the cabin, I set them there.  I gave John the knowledge of them, and I gave him everything you see in that journal. I was the one that convinced Asmodeus to release him once a week to make sure that he got everything down on paper because I knew that Sam and Dean would take his words, his accounts easier than the word of a demon.”

“Okay, so where were you in the end?  Where did you go when Asmodeus smoked out, because seriously, if you were there and didn’t man up, I could stake you right here and you can join your lover!” I stared at him in anger.

“I wasn’t there, but I wish I was.” He sighed, and turned back to my body. “The details of that evening are unimportant at this moment. I didn’t come here to discuss what was going on at that point, nor did I come here to explain myself or my relationship.  I came here because of this.”

“What me kind of floating around here aimlessly?” I laughed and shook my head.  “Thought you said I pushed myself out, to save myself the pain.”

“You did, but you also have another reason.”

“Okay,” I said rolling my eyes, “you got my undivided attention, so go ahead and shoot.”

“What you ask of Castiel is something that could possibly have catastrophic ramifications, not for just you but for all involved.  You need to weigh the options before you really make him decide on this action.” Gadreel turned to me, in fact he turned and stood right in front of me. “You do understand that what you ask of him is no small task, that there will be others involved, such as myself, which is why I’m here, Alison. There is too much power needed for one angel to do this alone, even one as strong as Castiel.” 

“Will the consequences include the safety of my family, the wellbeing of the Winchesters and possibly a normal life for Danni?” 

“All the possibilities are there, yes, but not just the ones you search for, the ones you wish would happen.  There are infinite ways this could play out and to say with certainty that the outcome would be just as you wish, or you predict. If this were to happen, if you make Castiel go through on your promise, Alison, there is no guarantee that those you love will be the ones you love now.  It’s possible that they will be completely different people.”

“It’s the only way out, Gadreel, the only way that I can see anything remotely good coming from this, because the other option is that man there.” I gestured to Dean as he continued to stare down at the person on the bed. “He would be my second, no, my last choice because  _ if _ Castiel can’t do it,” I looked up at the angel in the room, “I don’t want to bring this evil back to my children, and I couldn’t live with myself after what needs to happen.”

“How do you even know how this will end?”  He questioned, truly curious.

“It will end the same way everything else does, someone will die. Bad guys, good guys, we’ll all lose something, life, humanity, ourselves. Isn’t that always what happens in battle?”  I glanced up at his face, all the emotion was gone and I nodded, because he knew I was right.

I hopped down from the dresser and moved slowly over to the bed, the angel’s eyes on me as I did.  I stepped up to Sam, placed my hand on the one situated right against his lips and slipped in. It was weird to see my own flesh disappear into his and I used him, like a puppet, moving his arm until he was down by my boot, where the God Killer blade lay beside me.

Wrapping my fingers around the handle, I used Sam to bring it to my chest.  I watched Dean’s face, Danni’s eyes as Sam laid the blade against my sternum, and then I backed away.  On his own, the man I had just marionetted, took the hand he held and folded it on the handle.  Dean sat back and I moved towards Danni, doing the same with her, but I had her reach into her own boot, grab her blade and set it beside mine.  I could almost feel the weight of them both in my astral form before I turned back to Gadreel. 

“I’m going back, I’m going to do what I can, but Gadreel, help Cas,” I said softly and turned to Sam, my finger brushing over his hair as I moved it from his face.  “Living knowing that they’re alive, even if it’s not something I can control, is better than being dead and knowing I left them behind, but I will choose one over the other if it comes to it.”

“All we can ever do is hope that you choose the right way, Alison.” He said softly and I looked back at Sam as the flutter of angel wings bounced around the room.  Cas’ eyes turned once more to the spot where we had been sitting and I watched his brow crease when he turned back.

With a deep breath, I placed my hand on the blades, both of which were now under the palms of my hands and I reached out to Danni, setting my free one on her shoulder, a move that had her looking down at the spot, feeling the chill.

“Fac me spiritus,” I whispered and suddenly, as if I were in a vacuum, I was in my body, and taking in the deepest breath I could. 

The blades began to warm and I found I couldn’t release them, my eyes wide as I stared at the ceiling, the power rushing through me and all I could see was a bright light before the pain of every injury lessened and faded into nothing.  Swallowing hard, I stretched out my fingers, releasing the blades that were quickly removed from my chest as I looked over the shocked faces of the ones that sat around me.

But the one set that got me, the one that I had hoped would bring me some comfort, because the others were filled with love and gratefulness, stared at me in confusion, pain, anger and relief and I just had to look away from Dean.

What had I done? What had I become?

~~~~~

Sam’s hand rested on my cheeks as my vision focused on him.  He was staring at me, as if I were a ghost, but he didn’t react as he looked deep before he backed away.  We were sitting at the table now, the door to the room was open the sun, what was left of it was shining though and Dean was out by the cars, a cigarette in his hand, Danni and Cas were in the other room practicing whatever they needed to do. So, where we sat, the two of us, and I know he had questions.

“Did you really do what Dean said?”  Sam whispered and I glanced out at the green-eyed man instead.

“Clarify please,” I whispered and met his eyes once more.

“You tethered Dean to you?”

“Unintentionally,” I shrugged and watched the anger cross his face.  I wanted to reach out, to take his hand as they feel away from my face but I didn’t.  Sam needed to be mad, he needed to be a lot angrier than he had been. He was holding it in, holding it together for everything that was going on and I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to feel angry, to  _ be _ angry. No one goes through this and steps away without some need to throw a punch, but Sam was trying too hard to keep that part of him hidden. “It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did, in fact, I didn’t know it happened at all until… look it doesn’t matter, Sam, there was just no way that you could have been tied to me!”

“But you didn’t give me that choice,” Sam snapped and I flinched, because it was deep and angry and the power behind it hit me like a brick.

“I had said many times that it was a bad idea, and I didn’t want it, but you didn’t listen.” I sighed and stood, feeling his eyes on me as I paced the floor, away from the door and the man outside.  “I even went to Crowley to unlock the magic inside, Sam, and I did it to protect you.”

“You went to a demon? To protect me?” He gave me a little sideways smile and shook his head as he stood and turned to me. “I don’t need your protection, Ali, I need you.  I need you here and alive and in one mentally stable piece.”

“Which you were not going to get if you tied yourself to me!” I shook my head, trying to figure out how to explain it to him, but there was only one way to do it.  “Did you ask your brother what he saw when he found me?  Did he tell you the destruction and the carnage that I left behind when I did that to those people, what this power ramps me up to do?” But I saw him lower his head, just a little and look at the floor.  Maybe Dean had told him, maybe he didn’t but it didn’t matter because he needed to either be reminded or enlightened.  “I killed… people, Sam! I don’t care if they were demons, or if they were dead before I started slicing but they were people. Now they’re nothing more than shredded remains, cut and stabbed and limbless.” He looked up at me as I got angry thinking of the destruction that I had caused in the last few days.  “I’m not saying you couldn’t handle it, hell, I’m pretty positive that Dean isn’t handling seeing that crap as well as he’s letting on, but, Sam, I don’t want you to have to deal it with, I wanted to save you from it, because it’s beyond bad.”

“So, you go to a demon to protect me, you rope my brother into a tether to save me and what, you have this plan with Cas that you won’t tell anyone about?”  I looked up at the ceiling as I leaned back on the dresser.  “Secrets, Ali, secrets will get you killed.”

“That’s the  _ freaking _ point!” I snapped, loudly this time, catching Dean’s attention.  “I have two choices, Sam, two! See this through to the end, and by end I mean pushing up daisies, or… I get Cas to make me a promise that he can’t refuse. AND NO! I’m not going to tell you what it is because it won’t matter anyway.  If you knew half of what I was feeling right now, Sam, half of the darkness I’ve let in the last few days, I don’t think you would argue with my reasoning for this.”

“That’s the issue,” Sam whispered, leaning down close to me.  “You haven’t let me in to share it with you, to help you through it. But Dean,” he huffed a sarcastic laugh, “Dean knows everything, and why? Because you keep going to him instead of me, because you don’t think I can handle it.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t, Sam, I said I didn’t want you to.” I reiterated and took in a deep breath.  “And I don’t  _ go to  _ anyone, Sam, trust me when I tell you that I would keep his ass locked out too if I could. If you want I could tell you now, let it out start to finish but in the end, you wouldn’t like any part of me. You wouldn’t like what remains, and you certainly wouldn’t want to keep up with the question you asked me earlier.  That would be out the window because there is no way you would marry anyone like me.”

“What?” Sam whispered, his voice dropping as I shook my head. I stepped away from the dresser and closed my eyes before I placed a hand on his chest, felt his heart racing as he clenched his fist, holding himself back from wrapping his arms around me.

“I’ve done very, very bad things, Sam. They make my stomach turn just thinking of them and I hate myself more than anyone could ever, but if you knew, if you really knew what I was capable of doing, you wouldn’t want me.”  I spoke softly, and slowly opened my eyes to connect with his.  Just for a moment, I stood there and watched him. I let him think of everything, of anything that might make him believe me. What had Dean told him, what had he shared with Sam about the carnage that I left behind, about earlier when I told him to stay away, when I kissed him, and slowly the darkness clouded over Sam’s eyes and I nodded, a small smile crossing my lips.  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I turned to walk towards the bathroom, the need of a nice hot shower and some peace was something I desperately needed, but just before I reached the bathroom door, I placed a hand on the sill and looked over at him, then looked past him at Dean, who leaned on the back of the Charger, eyeing both rooms protectively. 

“I’m sorry, Sam.” I sighed, but as I turned back to my original course, I felt his hand on my arm. He spun me, his hands coming down on my neck, his thumbs caressing my cheeks and he tilted my head up so that I had no way to look anywhere but where I wanted too.

“I don’t care how dark you go, I don’t care what you think you had to do to get your point across to my brother, and yes, I know about that,” my heart skipped as he confessed to knowing about the kiss and my lips parted wanting to explain but the pad of his thumb ghosted lightly over them, keeping my words silent, “but Ali, you can’t protect us all.  You can’t push Dean away, you can’t keep me locked out or hold me off with some little twist of magic. You just can’t, we love you too much. I  _ love _ you too much to let you go, darkness or not, so whatever your plan is with Cas, stop!  Just stop! We’ll figure this out together.”

I wanted to reply, wanted to say some smartass remark that would set him off again but there wasn’t a time between breaths and the feeling of his lips against mine to form a coherent thought let alone a comeback for that. He left me breathless at the door, releasing my lips as he pressed his forehead against mine, and as he backed away, I saw a mix of anger, confusion and acceptance in his eyes, before he turned and walked out of the room, stepping up to Dean, who stood straight and glanced between the two of us before locking onto his brother.

I blinked back the emotions, shook my head and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

~~~~~

When I got out of the shower, I found that the group had managed to pull most of the chairs from not only our room but from Dean and Danni’s too and they were set in a horseshoe in front of the space between both doors, with the two small end tables placed far enough apart that everyone seemed to be able to reach whatever beverage they had been handed. 

When I stepped out, Sam was hunched forward using what he could of the table to read through the thick book that had been placed there, Asmodeus’ grimoire, and it amazed me that he would read it so openly, especially with some of the symbols that were exposed.  Dean was typing away on the computer, a rare sight for anyone to see, and Danni was nose deep in the books that she had piled beside her.  Sam looked up when I sat down, and he changed a glance over the other of two before he looked up as Cas stepped out of the room and handed me a cold soda from the fridge. With that hand off, Sam went back to the book.

“Thanks,” I whispered and watched as Cas moved to stand as if he were a lookout.

I noticed the way that he kept looking at me and finally I rolled my eyes as I stood. Yeah, I guess I could take a hint when he needed to toss one, and the two of us made our way out towards the front of the cars.  It was weird to me that neither had moved much considering how long we had been there for. I mean, I know Dean could have only found me driving the Impala, and that Sam had used the Charger to go get food a few times but to have actually seen them move myself was rare this week.

So, when I leaned against the hood of the Charger, I noticed the front license plate had been removed and I smiled.  Way to keep yourself safe, Sammy. No cops rolling by would be able to match this one to anything that was stolen in the last few weeks, but I could have been mistaken, this could actually be Sam’s car now and I never bothered to ask.  I ran my hand over the curve of the grill and let out a breath.

“What’s up, Cas?” I questioned as I finally turned to him.

“Gadreel was in the room with us earlier, wasn’t he?”  The angel inquired and I watched as that stoic face continued to look out at nothing.

“Actually, yes, he was,” I shrugged. “And he’s the reason I’m here again.  Why didn’t you tell me that this would involve other angels, Cas?”

“Would it have changed your mind?” His eyes snapped down to meet mine as my lips tightened and I clenched my jaw, giving just a slight shake of my head.  “Then it really doesn’t matter.”

“Catastrophic ramifications, Cas, that’s the words he used!” I sighed, and rubbed my hand through my wet hair.  “What the hell kind of catastrophic anything could he be talking about?”

Cas looked over the three people sitting on the porch, which got my attention and I found myself peeking back as well, only to find Dean’s green eyes on me for a second and Sam sitting back in his chair.  Cas looked down at me and stuffed his hands in his jean pockets.

“Remember what I told you, Sam walks a thin line between his darkness and the light you give him. If he slips over that edge, we may lose him forever,” Cas sighed and I had to look away, “and Dean sees the worst in you now, just as you wished. You made it abundantly clear to him that the demon inside you had taken over and that knowledge itself may stop him from ever trying to save you.”

“Have you met the man?” I asked sarcastically and shook my head, turning back to face the parking lot with my arms crossed.  “Trying to convince him that I’m anything but a perfect freaking angel is harder than it looks, trust me, I mean “way down we go” doesn’t describe the level of demon I went.”

“Still, Dean seeing you in any other light than good would be detrimental to anything you hope to accomplish.”  I stepped away from the grill and closed the space between us.

“What I hope to accomplish is to keep all of us alive, Cas, and I don’t care about the way it turns out, if that’s what happens, then I’m good with the “ramifications” no matter how catastrophic because you know what, it gives me a chance to fix the crap that I’m doing a fantastic job screwing up at the moment.” I replied, my frustration getting the best of me because my tone was harsh, and I took a deep breath before stepping past him.  “Tell Gadreel that no matter what happens, if Plan A doesn’t work, then he better have his feathered ass ready to help you on your promise.”

I moved across the front grill of the Impala, trying my hardest to keep hold of the pounding beneath my ribs.  I could feel the race of my heart, the pain in my sternum and I rolled my eyes.  Hell of a time for a anxiety attack, which I stopped me and pressed my fist to my breastbone, but that was when I felt the hand on my arm. 

My eyes, that I hadn’t realized I closed, opened fast and I found myself staring into the blue ones of the woman who stood toe to toe with me.

“Are you going to swing?” I whispered and watched her look at me with confusion. “Cause, if you are, just give me a heads up so I can brace myself.”

“I’m not going to hit you, Ali,” Danni sighed and stepped back.  “What’s going on?” She questioned, her concern evident in her voice as she looked at my hand pressed against me, and I moved it quickly, trying to shake off the feeling.  “Ali, talk to me.”

“It’s just nerves,” I whispered and looked away but her hand came up to touch mine and I avoided looking right into her eyes for just a moment, gathering my composure before I connected with her again.  “Nothing to be worried about, so what’s up?”

“I wanted to apologize.” Danni admitted, though I was sure she caught my change of subject, but she didn’t press.

“For what? Cause I’m pretty sure I deserved it.”

“No one deserves to be hit,” she laughed.

“Yeah, you haven’t seen half the crap I think about, some of that needs a good kick in the ass.” I smiled and watched as she grinned just a little, but it faded at the same time mine did. “It’s been a rough time, and that’s not an excuse for my actions, but yeah, things could have gone a hell of a lot better this week.  There’s so much I should be apologizing for, and the biggest one is Dean.  I didn’t mean to drag him into the middle of this, and I certainly didn’t want him between us.”

“Dean,” she started but then stopped, “Dean has and always will be Dean, there isn’t anything different about him this week than there was before when we were together.  We, you and I, we’re just seeing it differently, feeling everything differently.  He’s just being him.”

“Okay, so fine, John then,” I started and shook my head.  “I didn’t give you a chance to speak up, I didn’t even let you get in a say before I put the blades on you, stuck you with a power you didn’t understand, and basically fudged up everything.”

“Ali,” she sighed and raised her hand, “stop, will ya. You can kick your own ass later, but right now we have more important things than who’s to blame.  I get it, I do, but we need to think about what comes next first before we can go back and make up for what we did to get here.”

“So, that’s it, you’re letting me off the hook?” I shook my head and placed my hands on my hips. “You angels and your righteous ways of looking at things.”

“Yeah, it sucks, because you know, you demons and your guilt, kicking yourself in the gut.”

“Hey, why don’t you come to the dark side here, Dan,” I gave her a half smile, “I mean, we do have cookies and you know, everyone deserves a cookie.” She rolled her eyes at the reference and took a deep breath. “So, what now?”

“Research, we’re going to need to figure out where this is all going down, and I have a feeling you might be able to pinpoint that.”  I nodded and glanced over at the three boys again.  I knew one other thing that needed to happen before this went down.  The tether between Dean and I had to be broken, I just had to figure out how to do that without hurting him.

With a deep breath, I looked at Danni, at her smile, at the way the light in her eyes began to shine again and I wondered what she and Cas had started to work on, because the black and white way of looking at thing wasn’t present in her demeanor or her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should have posted this days ago, but a Fan movie script fell in my lap, or into my head. Had to work on that! YAY


	62. DH God Killers - 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me and a Devil's Trap... AGAIN. this could go so wrong in so many ways.

**Chapter 29**

“This is bull crap, a whole big heaping pile of steaming bull…”

“Oh, quit your bellyaching!” Dean interrupted as I stood in the middle of the field behind the motel, surrounded by a devil’s trap once again. I stared at him as he stood up, shook the can of red paint not more than three feet from me and gave me a smartass grin.  I walked up to him, stopped just short of the line he was drawing and put my hands on my hips.

“You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?” I questioned, putting back on the persona of the “I don’t give a flying…” I watched as he looked me over from head to toe and back before he raised a brow.

“You, stuck in a trap with no way out, no way to poof yourself away to another round of slasher flick?” He questioned as his face stayed unamused. “Yeah, I’m kinda liking where this is going.”

“You would.” I snapped and moved back to the middle of the circle.

“Hey,” he yelled, which had me stopping on a dime as I crossed my arms over my chest, “this is for your own good, you get that right?”

I clenched my jaw, turned and made my way back towards him, but stopped just out of arm’s reach. “I get that you want to protect Danni, and Sam, and hell, even Cas, but locking me in a devil’s trap to try and draw out the spawn of hell himself, yeah, not the most intelligent plan I’ve ever heard.”

“You just have to pinpoint him, Ali, the trap is to keep you safe.” Dean whispered, his voice becoming low and even.

“So says you,” I could feel the pull of the tether, the way his blood raced through him and the need to touch him was almost too much.  I watched his hand come up, his finger reaching out but he closed his eyes, held his arm there, halfway between us before he clenched it into a fist and dropped it to his side.  “I told you we need to break the tether first, because it’s only going to get stronger, Dean.”

“I can handle it,” he looked up at me, his green eyes blazing with emotions as I gave him a sly grin and a little shake of my head.

“Yeah, I can see that,” I said softly before I turned away from him again, but I glanced over my shoulder at the way his brow creased before I stepped forwards. “You’re handling it just fine, about as well as I’m handling mine.”

Sam stepped into the circle, glancing between the two of us as he moved to the small stand in the middle of it. Dean went back to closing the line and I moved to where Sam stood, pulling the shawl that I had wrapped myself in tighter around me.  The younger of the two unrolled the map as I stood across from him before I heard him sigh.

“Spit it out, Sam.” I encouraged and he put his hands flat on the paper, not only holding the map down but also so that he could lean in at my level.

“The two of you shouldn’t fight it, that’s what the tether is there for, to keep you grounded.” He stated, but the emotions that seemed to swirl in his eyes made me shake my head. “If you and Dean can’t break it, then you should run with it, not try to keep apart, that’s only going to make it worse.”

“So, you’re telling me to touch your brother?”

“I never had an issue with it before, Ali, why would I now?”  He confessed and I looked up at the sky.  “Look, you and I, we’re good. Dean and I, same as we have ever been, so I don’t know why the two of you are suddenly playing opposites.”

“Because we are opposite, Sam,” the edge in my voice just seemed to be that of annoyance and I let out a long breath before uncrossing my arms. I reached down with both hands and placed them over his. “I’m sorry, I’m just on edge, like I can feel the power creeping up again.  I know it’s like a freaking broken record lately, but bad idea much?”

“This circle is warded, the sigils will keep anything out that isn’t supposed to be in here.  It will keep you safe, Ali,” Sam captured my fingers with his hands and brought them to his lips, “I promise.”

“No,” I licked my lips, “you can’t promise me that because this spell came from Asmodeus. You don’t really know what it can and can’t do, because it’s five-hundred years old.” I looked at our joined hand and smiled.  “What you can promise is that if this goes south, you need to get Danni out of here.”

“Stop,” he closed his eyes and shook his head, “we’re not doing that again, not this time.” When he looked at me again, I watched the walls go up in his eyes. “The last time you made me do that, I left you for over a month and came back to you hunting.  I already told you, I’m not leaving you again.  Danni has Dean, she has herself.  She doesn’t need me to protect her, and I swear to God, Ali, if you tell me that I need to leave for Dean, I…”

“You’ll what, trap me in a devil’s trap? Tie me up and take me to your bunker dungeon?” I smiled and watched as his eyes lightened.  “Yeah, that thought’s gone through my head before, but here’s the thing, if it’s you tying me up, I might like it… a lot.”

“Okay,” Sam said as he cleared his throat, and I knew I had gotten to him because he stood up straight, trying to not be so near the fire. “Just do the spell, Ali, find the location, and let me get you out of here.”

“Whatever you say, hot stuff.” I smiled and apparently that broke him.

He rounded the table, done with being serious and keeping his distance and suddenly his arms were around me, his mouth demanding against mine and I pressed against him, all of me until I could snake my hand unseen between us, rubbing along the inside seam of his jeans, along his length and he growled against my lips.

Breathlessly, he released me, held me for just a second before he glanced behind me, at Dean no doubt and then let his eyes flicker down towards mine.

“Be careful,” he whispered his orders before he released me and stepped outside the line.

I stepped up to the table, let the shawl drop behind me and took a deep breath as I raised my hands and spread them wide not six inches above the map.

“Secreta ostenderes mihi quid habes; ostende mihi ubi in aciem procedit.” I whispered and looked up at Sam, not sure that the spell should be that simple, you know: show me what secrets you hold, show me where the battle unfolds.  What kind of immortal being comes up with something as simple as this and then decides to put it in Latin?  But my thoughts were soon interrupted, as I continued the chant, when I started to feel the burning in my gut.

The pull was more than I could have handled alone, but it kept my body from actually leaving the circle. I felt my eyes roll back in my head, I saw my body standing below me.  My head was back, my eyes pure white and Dean had grasped Sam’s arm, the younger Winchester pulling a Mom move on his older brother to keep him from entering the circle. Danni stood beside Dean, her hand on his arm as Cas stood just on the other side of Sam, looking up at me.

I didn’t remember what happened next to bring me to the strange warehouse, the one that I had been at before, or at least, that I had seen before.  From above it was three large buildings and in the middle of it were the storage crates.  Yeah, I remembered this place.  I remember Zane coming to me in the diner, telling me that he had felt my presence while I was looking for him. And then I remembered the nose bleeds.

I watched the red drop fall from me, though an astral projection shouldn’t be able to bleed. I waited for it to hit the ground, but it shifted, like the wind had caught it, like a raindrop in a storm and suddenly I was being pulled along for the ride.

I was standing on solid ground the next moment, my feet making absolutely no noise as I stood there and took in everything about it.  It smelled like vegetables, refrigeration units, and some sort of soil, but not the organic heifer produced kind. I sighed, but even my breath was silent as I moved through the halls of whatever building I had landed in.

Memorizing the way things were stored, the best way through the maze, I found myself now standing in the middle of a large open space.  Something in the building was calling to me, vibrating on a level that only I could feel and I watched as the corner of the room went dark.  My heartbeat quickened as I found myself locked in that one spot, watching the lights flicker around me before I suddenly found myself face to face with the man I had seen stabbed with an angel blade.

He sneered at me, his teeth sharp and deadly and I was quickly reminded of the clown from “IT”.  I wanted to scream but I didn’t as his hand reached out and captured me by the throat.  With one intake of breath, just a single second of air, I whispered: take me home, in Latin.

Instantly, I needed to remember how to breath, the feeling of his hand still on my neck as I came back to my own body and my knees gave out. Blood coated the table where the map lay, covered the front of my shirt and I felt hands clutching me from behind as Sam lifted me onto his lap while I struggled to get the air that I needed.

“Easy, baby,” Sam whispered, and I cringed and reached out to grasp his shirt.  He laughed as I did so blindly, since the haze of the spell hadn’t quite worn off enough for me to see past the glow.  I touched his face, feeling the stubble beneath my fingers and finally, I was able to get the control I needed.  “Breathe, Ali, just breathe.”

“I know…” I said softly, swallowing back the feeling of being choked yet again, and his arms tightened around me, “I know where he is, or where he will be.”

“We’ll talk about it later, Kid,” Dean spoke up, and I tried to focus on him, “let’s get you settled first.”

“There’s no time,” I sighed and tucked myself down into Sam. “Tomorrow is coming, and the angel blade didn’t even stop him. It just pissed him off.”

“I didn’t think it was going to,” this was Dean admitting to being the one that saved my ass.  I didn’t ask, I didn’t want to know, but he was there, and I had hope he wasn’t because it means he didn’t listen, he didn’t care what I did, I was never going to be evil to him. “I only used it to get you out. It got the job done.”

“Hey,” Danni whispered, and I felt her fingers on my cheek, “your nose is still bleeding.”

“I can’t feel it,” I answered and listened to her laugh just a little but I never released Sam to wipe it away. “I can’t feel anything.”

At least, that second anyway because the next I was stiff with pain. Every muscle in my body tightened and I found myself almost as solid as a board.  I felt Sam place me on the grass, the pain of the cramps ran through every fiber of my being as I felt my teeth clench shut. 

Danni’s hands came up to my face as my eyes rolled back in my head, and suddenly I felt a rush of warmth, the bright light of her magic seemed to fill every sense and the pain began to ease.  It wasn’t totally gone when the glow faded, but it was enough that I could try and loosen muscles on my own. Sam’s hand began to unclench my fingers, Dean slowly began to bend my legs as Danni gently rolled my head, turning it from one side to the other as her fingers messaged my jaw.

“Ali?” She whispered.

“I hate that little pissant!” I growled through the clenched teeth and I almost heard Dean laugh.

“Can you move anything on your own?”  She whispered and I tapped my hand against her leg, slowly bending my fingers as I flipped her off and her hand came down squarely on my stomach, “Funny, douche.”

“You asked,” I replied and bent my arm at the elbow, letting the feeling flow. “Can someone get me off this ground, it's freaking cold!”

“It’s the middle of June, ya big baby!”  Danni laughed and that was when I noticed it.  The way she laughed, the strange change in her behavior, the curve in mine.  I didn’t feel as dark, she felt so much lighter, and that was when I knew.

“Balance,” I whispered, stopping all of the movements I was making, as I just lay there.  “One light, one dark, it’s all about balance.”

“What are you going on about?”  Dean questioned. 

I reached up my arms, hoping someone was going to grab them because I was still having a bit of trouble seeing.  I felt Sam on one side, Dean on the other and when I was finally standing, when I could really get my bearings, I blinked before feeling Castiel’s hands on my face.  I felt him tip my face up towards him, but all I saw was his light, his real form and I smiled.

“Close your eyes,” his voice was more of a smile as I did what he told me to and then I felt his palm rest over the bridge of my nose, his thumb pressed against my forehead as his fingers seemed to create an arch over my eyes. I felt the heat from his hands, the light glow of his grace and slowly, I could almost feel the way the fog lifted even with them closed. When he finally took his hand away, I slowly opened them, blinked a few times and looked in all different directions before staring at him.  His blue eyes seemed to glow brighter the more I stared. “What do you see?”

“Your grace is showing,” I whispered and watched him give me a small smile before his eyes narrowed and the glow faded. When I could see him clearly, I reached out and touched his cheek with my fingers, just to let him see that I was completely in control of my sight.

“Okay, Kid,” Dean growled and scrapped the line in the grass with his foot, breaking the circle. “Let’s get you inside.” 

Sam took my hand and lead me past the table, but that was when I noticed the pattern in the blood and I looked up at Dean, who was walking behind me. He stopped, stepped back to the table and grabbed the paper as Cas and Danni started to clean up the ingredients for the spell work. Once Sam and I were safely in our room, Dean would go back and help remove the trap from the grass as if it never happened, at least that was the plan.

~~~~~

Sam sat me down on the bed, ran into the bathroom and grabbed a facecloth, one that he wet with warm water before he came back.  Dean was standing at the table spreading the blood-soaked map out over the wood as Sam knelt down with the cloth in one hand and a tee-shirt in the other. I watched Dean glance back as Sam pulled at the shirt I was wearing and I let him remove it, and replace it with the clean one before he started to wipe the blood from my face.

Dean cleared his throat, turning back to the map and I looked between them.

“What’s going on?” I placed a hand on Sam’s stopping the way the cloth stroked my cheek and stared him down in the eyes.  “Sam, what is it?”

“We know about your deal with Cas,” he whispered and my eyes shot up to Dean, who turned and leaned on the table.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a secret that he and I had an agreement, so what?”

“We know what you made Cas promise to do,” Dean added just to specify.

“So, what’s the game?”  I shrugged, because, yeah if they were lying, they weren’t getting it out of me by way of total freak out. “So, this is what? An intervention?”

“Ali,” Dean rubbed his eyes, then crossed his arms as he looked up at me, “what you’re asking him to do, it’s not just you that it affects.”

“Well, duh!” I snapped and sat back away from Sam’s hand, “anything I do will affect everyone I touch, Dean, that still doesn’t tell me that you actually know.”  I raised my hand.  “Look, not that it matters because it’s just a fallback plan, just in case the first two or three fail.” I lied, but then again, I wasn’t sure if he knew about that either, because I didn’t really have one that would even really be a plan A, except for Dean just ending me. “What would you like me to do, take it back?”

“Look, Ali,” Sam whispered, his hand on my thighs, this took my eyes from the older Winchester and let them rest on the man in front of me.  “Cas loves you, he loves all of us, and there isn’t anything that you can ask of him that he won’t do for you, but this is just a little too much, don’t you think?  You’re putting a big burden on him.”

“You think so?” I whispered and decided, yeah, I’m going to play along with this because I had a sneaking suspicion that they didn’t have a clue and they were fishing for details. “Taking the blades far away, I didn’t think that was a big deal.  Maybe yeah, if he disappeared with them before we ended Zane, that I’d get, but putting them somewhere no one would ever find them, I didn’t get that as a burden.”

That’s when I saw it, the way that Sam looked up at Dean, that non-verbal communication that told me they really didn’t have a clue as to what the hell was going on between me and Cas.  I rubbed my forehead, trying to battle back a headache and then shot a glance between the two of them, before I swiped the cloth from Sam and slipped past him.

Using the mirror in the room, I wiped the blood from my face, watched the two of them keep a close eye on me, as Sam switched to sitting on the bed, and then I turned to face them. I scanned over Sam’s face, the way he looked at me as if he were waiting for something but I wasn’t about to give.  I turned to Dean, who had that same look of sizing me up and I raised a brow.

“So, what now?”

“What now is we figure out how to get you and Danni out of this mess,” Sam replied and I shrugged.

“We’ve been doing that from the beginning, Sam, looking for an exit,” I shook my head, “what if there isn’t one this time, what if there isn’t a loophole, I mean sometimes things are just what they are.”

“That way of thinking is going to get you killed.”  Dean growled and grabbed the map off the table, which only got me to look up quickly as he made his way over, laying it on the bed next to Sam. “According to this, we know where he’s going to be, where this is all going to go down. I say we set a trap and take care of the bastard.”

“Go in, guns blazing and have at it?” I smiled and came closer to the map. Strangely enough, the way it had fallen, or gushed, or however it had gotten onto the table, it had all rolled around, creating a circle that only left the Whole Foods buildings open and the rest of it covered in blood.  

“You said something about balance while we were outside,” Sam whispered, reaching out to take my hand.  “What about it?”

“Oh,” I sighed and took my eyes from the map before looking at him, “I’m a not really sure, everything is still kind of hazy from that crap,” I grumbled and sat down on the bed.  “Are Cas and Danni okay outside?”

“Right,” Dean grumbled, still looking me over as if he didn’t believe me for a second but he turned to the door. “I’ll go check on them,” he pointed at me and my gaze rose to meet his, “stay put, Traveler, we have other stuff to figure out.”

“I don’t plan on going anywhere, Dean,” but I couldn’t help but see the uncertainty in his eyes. Not sure if it was from not believing me or hoping that I was there when he got back.  He slipped out the door, closing it tightly. When he did, I snatched the bloody map from the bed and set it roughly on the table before turning back to Sam. “We’re so screwed!”

Sam was up and had me wrapped in his arms before I could breathe another word, and I let my arms come up around his waist, gripping the back of his shirt as I pressed my head against him, taking in the beat of his heart.

~~~~~

They were outside, the door was open and I was sitting with my feet up on the table, listening to them talk, and by them I meant Sam and Dean. Cas was going over a few more thing with Danni, but the boys were right outside the door and I had John’s journal on my lap. They weren’t really arguing, but I knew the topic of conversation, me, and I wished it was something different, but it was just as distracting as everything else.  It made it so I couldn’t concentrate on anything that John had written.

With a huff, I closed the book, but as I did, my hand came down along the back cover of the leather-bound material and I felt just the small raised corner of something.  When I opened it back up, there was nothing odd about the inside, nothing that would point out abnormalities in the binding, but I reached over, my eyes on the boys outside the window and snatched Sam’s pocketknife from his bag.

Gently guiding the tip along the bottom seam, separating the paper backing from the leather, I opened it wide enough so that I could see the thin, folded piece of paper inside.  I bent the back, giving the opening a little more room to accommodate my finger as I slid the paper out and placed the journal down in my lap, still hiding it from the ones who were ranting on.

With the knife folded on the table, I opened the yellowed paper slowly and watched as John’s handwriting seemed to race across the parchment.  The edges told me it was ripped from Asmodeus’ Book of Shadows, the one Sam was reading but as I flipped it I could see not only John’s writing but the demon’s as well.  On the back was a spell, one that made me shiver but it was the handwriting on the front that got my attention faster, especially with my name on it.

_ Alison, _

_ It won’t be long now, I can feel the time approaching.  I’m sorry for the things that we have to ask you to do.  I know what its plan is, I know it involves you and Danni and I’m sorry.  I really am. I’m so tired that I can’t fight him anymore. Everything that I know is written down now, we’re just waiting for it to come. _

_ But, there is one more thing you need to know before I go. I know what you’re thinking of doing, and if you are anything like who I’ve seen you become , (yes, I’ve seen you recently,) you need to think hard on your decision. I’ve seen the love you have for Sam, I’ve seen his walls break down and he has let you in, that is something I had never thought I would see from him.  To let another person behind his walls, someone other than Dean, that is amazing, but he can’t do it. _

_ You do realize that, don’t you?  Sam will never be the one that can end this, not for you anyway.  He loves you too much. He feels everything too much, and I know what you’re thinking of doing, what avenue your thoughts have gone too, it will have to be Dean this time. _

_ Do you understand, Ali, that it will have to be Dean? _

_ On the back is a spell, specific for those who wield the blades.  If you haven’t guessed by now, they can’t harm you, at least not your own.  With the mark comes that burden.  No matter if you hold Danni’s or yours, the blades won’t cut you, but with the spell on the back of this paper, it will render that powerless, they will be just like angel blades. You won’t come back from this, Ali, so if you use it, use it wisely.  Know what you need to do first and then… then pray that angel is fast enough. _

_ Sam can’t lose someone else. He’s lost too many already, and Dean… Dean can’t lose Sam. _

_ John. _

Okay, well, that sucked!  I turned the paper over and read what I could of the spell. My eyes widened and I couldn’t help but think of Sam as I looked out the window, folded the paper quickly and put it away.

My lips trembled as I rose from the seat. I knew what I had to do, and I had to do it fast. This wasn’t good, not good at all.

I stepped outside, reached out and grabbed Sam’s arm. He turned quickly and looked down at me, but I didn’t have to say a word as my hand moved down from his arm to his fingers and I gave him a little tug towards the room.  Dean gave him a little smirk as Sam threw a glance at his brother, before letting me lead him, but it was Dean’s gaze that had me as he tilted his head just a little and winked.

I needed to break that tether, but I needed Sam more as I closed the door and pulled the curtain closed.

I needed him so much more than he realized as I felt his hands on my waist, and his lips against mine.  I needed him wild, and uninhibited, and just out of control. And I got what I wanted, and more, because for just that moment, he didn’t hold back.  He gave me everything and anything I asked of him, without conditions, and when we were both spent and sated, when he curled against me on the bed as I stared up at the ceiling, I knew what the next step was and more than anything, I dreaded it.

Slowly slipping from Sam’s hold, I got dressed, watching him every moment I did, and my next move was intentional, I left the blade where it lay in the sheath on the counter.  I didn’t need the God Killer, I just needed to get this done.  With a deep breath, and one more glance at the sleeping man, I turned and walked out the door into the night.


	63. DH God Killers - 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I'll be able to get one more in before Vancouver, if not, enjoy.

**Chapter 30**

John’s letter had put me in a bad mood, the feeling of Dean constantly nearby was making my skin sensitive to every little touch, including Sam’s and even with all of the energy that Danni and Cas had given me earlier, just one little touch from Zane had sent me spiraling back down that black road.  I was annoyed, irritated, angry and any other ‘a’ word you could possibly come up with but I wanted to get out, alone, without the carnage. It was a good idea, but I knew it wouldn’t last, not for long anyway, but I had to chance it.

I was perfectly content sitting at the bar by myself, the three empty shot glasses on the counter, one more beside them full of the whiskey and the one in my hand that I was just about to bring to my lips were doing a great job keeping me company.  Sam was back at the room, completely sated and left in that little bit of restful post-sex sleep that I always seemed to manage to put him in, and that made me smile, but it also made me long for him again. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to be lying there just admiring him, but as it was, my body needed to move more and waking him up for another rough round was something that I couldn’t do.  I might have been damned but I didn’t need to take him with me, and what I wanted him to do was just dark enough that he might slip over.

So here I was, at some little dive bar just outside of Winchester, which by the way, do you know how easy it is to get away with hotwiring a car around here, but I digress.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, me and the shots in front of me having a good time, at least that was until the door opened and immediately not only could I feel him, hear the way his blood rushed through his veins, but I could smell his scent from where I sat. 

Dean had become so ingrained in me that I could pick him out of a crowd of people.  I knew his cologne like my own detergent, and man, as much as he smelled like heaven, and his brother was hotter than sin, there was still no way that I was going to touch him, at least in any way that would hurt Danni, but the following me around crap really had to stop.

I sighed loudly as he took the stool beside me, raised a finger and an eyebrow at the bartender and put his lower arms on the counter as he popped open a peanut shell beside me.  That one shot, the one that hadn’t quite made it to my mouth before, was now burning its way down my throat. I breathed in, trying to let the burn settle as it always does, in the heat between my legs, and I gave myself a little smile.

“You shouldn’t have followed me,” I whispered and watched as he smiled up at the woman behind the beer and brought his beer to his lips just out of the corner of my eyes. Of course, I knew he was going to follow, that was the main reason for stopping where I did.  He couldn’t seem to help it. “I told you to stay away from me.”

“Yeah, well, you know we can’t have some psycho running around with some magical blade alone, now can we?” he stated dryly and I smiled.

“You say psycho like it’s a bad thing, Dean,” I answered and watched him turn towards me when I picked up the fifth shot. 

“Do you even realize what you’ve started to become?”  This made me turn to him and I set the glass down on the table before placing my hand flat on the bar.  I scanned over his face, hoping to see the anger there but he was filled with a different emotion, darker but still there.

“Something dark, something evil, something that you and Sam hunt?”  I whispered, but licked my lips as he stared me down with those hard, green eyes.  “Yeah, I’m very glad you’re starting to see it for what it is, and I’ve been telling you from the very beginning.  I wasn’t innocent when this started, and I’m not going to be when it ends.”

Dean shook his head, raised the beer up to take a sip and I placed my fingers over his, on the ones that head the long neck bottle.  Under my breath I whispered,  _ temere sequi me _ , not loud enough for him to hear it, but for him to feel the breath that left me, against his face as I slid from the stool and moved away from the counter. 

I heard him sigh, knew that the Latin, “blindly follow me” had worked and listened as he placed the bills on the counter and mirrored my movements out towards the parking lot.  I stopped at the small Focus that I had jacked from near the hotel and turned to him, unlocking the passenger’s side door as he stopped and looked around.

“You could have stayed there and finished the beer,” I stated and watched as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Again, psycho with a magic blade,” he answered and watched as I popped open the door, gesturing for him to get in, but I saw his eyes come to rest on the Impala that was parked only a few spots down. How come I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had left it behind. 

“Well, this psycho is moving on to the next one, so either you’re coming or staying but I wouldn’t plan on following because I had someone let the air out of her back tire.”  I replied quickly as I moved over to the driver’s seat, opened the door and again whispered:  _ temere sequi me _ .  Dean rolled his eyes, came closer and slipped into the seat beside me as we both closed the door.  “So, this is probably the most you’ve said to me since… well.  Why now?”

“You left Sammy in bed,” he answered and turned in the seat to look at me.  “Most of the time you won’t leave him alone in the room for more than five minutes, unless you’re popping out to slice and dice, so why are you sneaking out to the bar?”

“I left Sam in bed because the boy needs sleep, I went to a bar because I needed a drink.”  I answered and pulled out into the road. Dean didn’t take his eyes off of me, and in a way it was kind of exciting, but I don’t think he really was grasping the reason why he was in the car in the first place. “Besides, sneaking off would imply that I was doing it quietly.  You haven’t stopped tailing me or watching me in any way, shape, or form since the incident, definitely not since the tether, so there for, sneaking isn’t involved.  I walked right out that door knowing you were watching me, Dean, you’re always watching me.”

“You need to be locked up until the whole thing blows over, Ali,” he sighed and stared out the window, “you’re dangerous, you know that right, I mean, you get that?”

It took me this long to realize we never talked about what happened when I kissed him, never once brought it up that he had seen me at my darkest point, but that in itself helped with everything I needed to accomplish.

If John was right, Dean was the only one that could help me, and the issue of it was that no matter what I had done up to that point, he still saw me as the damaged one, he still swore that nothing would come between us, including needing to pull the trigger.

The kiss was just the twist I needed, it was just what I was looking for because even if he had put on a show for his brother, I could see the wheels turning below the surface.  Dean wasn’t going to let me go that easy, and it was the reason for what came next.

“Yeah,” I sighed, but the smile never left my face, “I totally get it.”

“So, we need to go back to the bunker, put you in the basement, keep you where you’re safe.” 

I laughed at him. “In your sex torture dungeon?” 

Dean rolled his eyes, “it’s not a sex torture dungeon, Al, and I’m being serious.”

“You go ahead and be serious, I’m just gonna sit here and think my dirty little thoughts.” I couldn’t wipe the grin from my face and while that probably annoyed him more than anything, it wasn’t because I was thinking about sex or anything to do with the bunker, I was smiling because he had no clue. “ _ Dormies super mortuo _ .”

I watched his eyes close as he sunk back in the seat and shook my head.  How was this way too easy?  How was it that I was getting him right where I wanted him and there wasn’t anything coming at me to stop me from doing it?  Where was Danni?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to hurt him, in fact far from it, but Dean and I really needed to sit down and hash this out and there was no way that it was going to happen with a protective older sister and a pigheaded younger brother in the room. Nope we needed Ali and Dean time, and that was just what I was planning on getting.

~~~~

It smelled like produce and refrigeration and that nasty odor of soil and man did I hate that smell.

I was sitting on a small bench when he opened his eyes, picking his head up from the way it hung down with his chin against his chest. I was always curious to see what he did in a situation like this.  I mean I had my theories, you know the typical jump around, tug at the ropes, try to get free theories, but this was Dean Freaking Winchester that I was staring at, with his hands zip-tied behind his back, and with him, you never know what you’re going to get.

He groaned a little, probably just the after effects of the spell, not that it was a harsh one but he might have a headache.  Those green eyes scanned the room, his arms tightened against the restraints but as his gaze rested on me, when I sat up and crossed my arms, I could see the anger in them.  No bouncing, no tugging, just a calm, angry bitch face that was Dean Winchester.

Well, crap, that was disappointing.

“What are you doing, Ali,” he whispered, and I found myself biting down on my lip.  Damn, I could see why Danni was so sexually attracted to this man, I mean, wow, especially all tied up, but I took in a deep breath and remembered that he belonged to my sister.

“We need to talk,” I said softly, standing up from the stool as he gave little movements of his muscles, telling me that I didn’t have very long before he escaped those bonds.  “And since you are such a typical Winchester, I thought this might be the best way to do it.”

“To tie me up?” He kind of posed it as a question, which kind of got just a shrug as an answer.

“It’s safer this way, besides, while you’re trying to get out of the ties, I’ll have your undivided attention.”  I replied and watched as his arms stopped moving.  Yeah, that was one of those “crap” moments, when he knew that I was being just as observant as always.

“So, talk,” he spoke softly, carefully as if I might hurt him and that in itself pissed me right off.

“First off, stow the big-bad-wolf crap, I’m not going to lay a finger on you,” I sighed.  “Secondly, I don’t get why the hell you are so hell bent on the fact that you think I would hurt you to begin with.  I love you, and I would never do anything like that.”

“Okay, so you’ll have to excuse me if I take your “I love you” and counter with a “you’re full of it” remark because this,” he jiggled in the seat, still secure, “isn’t anyway to show someone you care about that you would never hurt them.”

“Oh, hey, you got this all wrong there, pal,” I laughed and tucked my hands in my pockets as I came closer, “you being tied up is for my protection, not for me to hurt you.” 

“Yeah, okay, let’s go with that,” he quipped and I rolled my eyes.  “You wanna talk, so talk.”

And suddenly, I wasn’t as prepared for Dean Winchester as I thought I was, or the feelings that came out when I started to open my mouth.

“You hate me,” I whispered and watched his lips grow taunt, a sure sign that I was right, but that seemed to fuel the need to talk about it.  “You hate me because of what I did to your dad,” his eyes flashed up at me and I saw the anger in them. “You hated me before when this whole thing started because I fell for Sam, I fell for the one person that you needed to protect.”

“I don’t hate you for Sam,” he replied and shook his head.

“No, you hated the fact that you suddenly had someone else to protect and not just from the damned vampires.” But, I caught that he didn’t say anything in response to John.

I stepped closer, smiled and straddled his lap, before casually sitting down, fitting myself into the grove that his hips and thighs made as he sat there, and I put my hands down squarely on his shoulders. I could feel him shift uncomfortably beneath me but it sent such a shock of heat through me that I had to catch my breath to ignore it.

The demon inside fought for control as the power flashed before my eyes, and I had to blink back the red glow that started to rise as Dean’s eyes landed on mine when I licked my lip, just my bottom one, and looked down at his. She was dying to come out, dying to know that kiss again and I just wanted to punch her because seriously, that was a one-time deal.

“I know you hate it,” I moved my right hand closer to his neck, rubbing my fingers along the curve of his shoulder to the line of his jaw as I leaned in closer, “you hate the feeling of knowing what your brother is capable of doing, of what he’s done in the past, of how rough he can be.  You hate the fact that you need to keep an eye out to make sure he doesn’t do anything to hurt me,” I watched his eyes fill with the acknowledgement that I knew Sam’s past, I knew the anger that the boy held, the violence he was capable of and this made me smile as my other hand ran from his shoulder down his chest, around his waist to the back of his jeans, just as I pressed my cheek against his face.  “You don’t have to worry about it Dean, you don’t have to hate me for it, or need to protect me from it,” I sighed, letting my breath sing across his skin, blow in his ear and I heard the low moan from him.  The whole position was hotter than hell but he wasn’t the Winchester I wanted, “you don’t have to protect me, because I like it.”

My tongue flicked out and lightly touched his earlobe, an action that had him suddenly moving his head, trying to break the contact, but I already had what I wanted.  I sat back, holding the grip of the gun in my hand as I held it up for him to see the beautiful custom work on it before I slid back from his lap, leaving him just a little more uncomfortable than when we began. Not my intention but definitely something that worked in my favor, since he was now utterly distracted.

“I’m just going to put her over here,” I whispered, keeping my eyes on Dean and my finger way away from the trigger as I set his Colt down on the stool.  “So, where was I…oh yeah, Sam.  You can deny it all you want there Deanie, but I know, you’ve always felt a little bit of well, maybe hatred isn’t the best word for it, maybe it was jealously.”

“Ali,” his voice was full of warning and I knew that I was getting in there somewhere.  “This isn’t you talking, come on, just let this go.”

“Let it go?”  I shook my head and took a deep breath, oh how I wish I could, but something in me just kept going. Maybe the demon inside was right, maybe I was like Jekyll and Hyde, and the need to feel him, the need to touch was more than I was letting myself acknowledge. Then again, maybe she was a bitch and I was just using this line to get him where I wanted. Ugh, I was definitely going to have to do some inner monologing with her when this was done.  “Let go everything I’ve felt for the last two months since the moment you put a hand on me, let go of all of the feelings that you stir up in me, the crazy _ need _ for you. Ah, Dean, as much as I hate needing someone, and thinking I really wish I could, I just can’t.”

“Why me?” Finally, to the question I had wanted him to ask, to the one thing I wanted him to know. His eyes were locked on me, trying to distract me and I knew my time was running out, I knew those bonds were almost gone and I stood there with my hands in my pockets again.  “Why are you telling me this and not Sam.”

“Because Sam doesn’t hate me,” I laughed, “Sam loves me, darkness and all and you know what, as much as I am so totally in love with him, there is one thing that he will never be able to do if it comes right down to it  _ because  _ of that love.”

“And what’s that?”  Dean growled.

He knew what I was getting at but still it irritated me to no end and I snatched up the gun, brought it over. I leaned down, one hand on the chair behind his shoulder as I stood between his legs and stared into his eyes, inches from his face. The smile disappeared from mine, the fear started to build in me as I felt the flicker of power and I swallowed back the feeling of retreat. I wanted to run away, I didn’t want to do this suddenly, but that lasted only a very short amount of time, because I kissed him softly on the forehead before moving back to his gaze.

“You take this gun,” I whispered, and felt him let out a breath, one that warmed my skin, “and you put a bullet in my head!” I snapped, low and dangerous, and watched the anger fill his eyes. With that anger, the smile ran across my lips, and I couldn’t help but raise a brow at it. “And, now you have one more thing to hate me for.”

“Ali,” he whispered, his eyes trained on me as I heard the zip-tie give way. “I don’t hate you.”

I wanted to step back, wanted to run from him but that need to touch him, that overwhelming need to connect with him in any way I could, drowned out the feeling of flight and I moved my hand from the back of his chair, caressing my fingers down his cheek as I felt him take a deep breath in.

“Why not?” I questioned, and felt the tear that slid down my face. He leaned into my touch, the way he always did, and my heart broke. “With everything I’ve done, all the darkness, and the destruction, Dean, why not?”

I had to release him, had to step back and as my foot left the floor, as I moved away, I realized that I couldn’t. He was standing before I could blink, his hands were loose and coming at me, and instantly I was in fight mode.  I blocked his touch, taking a step back as he snatched the gun from my hand.  I didn’t need to see where he stowed it, I just needed to know he wasn’t holding it, before he came at me again.  This time I was going to defend myself, I didn’t want to run, I didn’t want to hide, I wanted to fight, to let it out, to be angry, and he did that for me.

We never exchanged a blow, always blocked the swing or kick or punch from the other, like we had grown to anticipate one another’s moves.  It went on for what felt like hours, but I’m sure was only minutes, moments in time as we danced close like lovers and far away as if enemies.  I had him down, gripping him by the collar of his shirt, but he swept my leg, bringing me to the same level as him as I grasped hold of his shirt.

Dean scowled, not that he was angry, but it was a look of determination, as he reached out and stroked my hair back from my face, a tender moment in our otherwise frantic dance.  I pushed at him, knocking him unexpectedly to the floor as he tugged me along with him and balled up my fists to take a swing, but his hand shot up from my hair, grasped my wrist and suddenly I was flipped. Lying on my back with him resting over my hips, but his feet had somehow planted between my legs, keeping them locked below him, no way of getting any leverage, but instinct had me going for the blade, the one tucked in my boot and before I knew it, he had that wrist too.

Pinning my arms above my head with only one of his hands, Dean towered above me as I lay on the cold concrete floor. He stared down into my eyes, ones that I could tell were full of emotions, and he struggled to catch his breath before he reached out with his free hand, fingertips running along the length of my hairline to my neck and I turned away from him.

Just a bit forceful, his fingers cradled my chin bringing me back to look at him and the anger in his eyes as he leaned down, holding me there as he stopped a breath away from not being able to focus in on anything but those eyes. Just a breath away.

“I  _ don’t  _ hate you, Ali,” he whispered, ghosting his fingers from my chin to rest gently on my throat, “I never did.” He blinked away the tears, and I felt my own lips trembling before I sucked back the emotion.  “I hated that I couldn’t save you from this, from having to be the one to do that. I hated myself because I hated him so much for using my father to make you chose.  You didn’t really have a choice.” I felt his thumb brush over the brand on the pad of my hand above my head and I squirmed beneath him because just his touch sent shocks through it, reminding me of earlier and the feeling of Sam’s teeth as he bit down on the same spot. “I wish you would understand…” his voice dropped to a whisper, “I love you.”

I stared at him in shock, not because of his feelings, I mean hell I knew he loved me, I loved him too, but the fact that he had used those words out loud, to anyone but Danni should have sent me careening into darkness, because the only course of action after Dean admits to ANYTHING is to pass out, but I didn’t. I stared at him, like some dumb deer in the headlights.

“Dean!” Sam’s voice rang through the building but the man above me never looked away.

“Ali,” he whispered as his hand move and he sat back, “I’ll find a way to fix this, I promise.” I closed my eyes tightly as the grip on my wrists loosened. “Hey,” his authoritative tone had me looking at him once again, “I swear, I will.”

Just as I was about to answer him, not that I was sure what to say, either “yes help me” or “no don’t bother”, it was silenced as Sam and Danni came running through the door.  Dean put both hand on his knees as he sat back, not putting any weight on me as he sat on the heels of his boots but Sam gave him a curious look as I lay there, pissed off and staring at the ceiling, while Dean shrugged, zip-ties around both wrists.

~~~~~

I could see Sam’s look of irritation from where I stood, my back to the Impala, as the two of them talked over what had just happened. Danni was standing beside me, not looking at the boys, but just staring at me, her eyes filled with concern.

“What the hell, Ali?” She whispered, it only took her about five seconds from the time we stepped out of the building for her to start scolding, not that I minded, I mean she was always the protector, but I took a deep breath and turned towards her, my arms crossed.  “What were you thinking?”

“So, Dean and I have an unusual way of communicating,” I shrugged, “it works for us.”

“This is the second time that one of you have been tied up with the other in the room, is it going to become a usual thing?”  She snickered and again I shrugged, but this time I smiled.

“I don’t know, it’s kind of a kink thing,” I teased and looked over at the two men.

Sam looked at bit more frazzled the more they talked and I know I wouldn’t like the outcome of it later, but with what I could hear, Dean never mentioned the last thing I asked him to do, the very reason he would actually grow to hate me, because John had asked him to do just that before. I had told him once that he wasn’t the only one that knew what it felt like to have to take care of someone when they were like that, or make a promise to take care of yourself should you go that route.

I looked around, growing edgier by the moment as we stood in the parking lot of the whole foods store, and I could feel the power growing.  I tapped my foot, cleared my throat and finally got their attention. I could leave the car that Dean and I took over, it was hotwired after all but also clean of anything that could trace it to me or him, so when Sam finally glanced over, I gestured to the car behind me and he gave me a slight nod.

Looking at Danni, I gave her a slight grin, opened the back door and slid in all the way to the other side watching her follow suit.  Once the door closed, she opened her mouth to say something but all I did was raise a finger, not even off the seat where I had placed it.  Just the movement had her silenced and we waited.

After a moment, Dean got in the driver’s side, sliding behind the wheel and Sam grabbed the handle of the door, giving it a hard yank before he sat down in his spot right in front of me.  His hand came down behind the seat, closest to the door, searching for mine and I turned to look at the building, before reaching down to grasp his fingers.

The sound of Baby’s rumble made me smile and I couldn’t help but look into the green eyes that stared at me through the rearview.  I love the sound of that car.

Dean put her in gear and the four of us sat in silence until we were far enough down the road.  Sam turned in his seat, letting go of my hand, and scanned my face as I sent out my own feelers. Nothing in the air, nothing close by.

“Okay, we weren’t followed,” I whispered and watched the three occupants around me breath a collective sigh of relief. Dean pulled the car over, put it in park in some dimly lit rest area and turned in his seat like his brother. He stared me down like I had just taken his favorite toy, and shook his head. “What?”

“What the hell was that?”  He growled, but I could almost see the laughter in his eyes.  “You were pushing the envelope pretty far there, Kid.”

“You didn’t like me sitting on your lap?” I teased and watched as his lips puckered like he was actually debating on telling me he didn’t.

“You sat on his lap?”  Danni grinned and shook her head, yeah the light had definitely returned to this one.

“Okay,” Sam sighed, rolling his eyes. “As much as I’m good with the whole need to touch thing, I don’t want to hear all the details of her on your lap,” he looked at Dean, which made the grin wipe right off the older one’s face, “what I want to know is did it work?”

“Did you get the sigils up?” I questioned, placing my hand on Sam’s arm as I sat forward. 

“Yeah, just like the book said,” Sam shrugged, “did you get what you needed down?”

“Yep, while sleeping beauty here was taking a catnap.” I grinned and watched Dean shake his head.

“Were the zip-ties really necessary?” Dean questioned.

“I thought you were into that whole kink thing,” I winked and pointed a thumb in Danni’s direction. “That tie him up thing, that was all her idea.”

“Asshole!” Danni said and took a swipe at me, but I practically leaned over the seat onto Sam to get away from her.  “Enough goofing around. We have a crap ton of stuff to do before this goes down, so where to next?”

So, the plan worked.

Get Dean into the storage house, get Zane to listen in as we “argued” and let him think we were at odds as all four of us managed to do our own little wards before we left. Danni and Sam had all the hallways to the rooms warded, I had managed to draw one on the floor as I paced around Dean, and when he and I were “fighting” there was a reason why nothing ever connected, because his dance was more of a spell than anything.  We created a circle, we cast the corners and we closed it before he even had me pinned to the floor, which sealed it because while his hand held my wrists, he drew the last symbol onto the concrete with the tip of his finger.

Now onto the next and this one might not be as easy as we hope, especially if Crowley’s involved.

Way down we go.


	64. DH God Killers - 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OOH off to Vancouver this week!!!! So this is the last chapter BEFORE VanCon!!!

**Chapter 31**

I stood in the middle of the dirt road, close to John’s cabin but far enough away so that the dampening spells on it didn’t block my signal.  I didn’t need a box, didn’t need a magic bowl, all I needed to do was stand there.  And I did, impatiently, tapping the spectrum against my leg as I looked around the four corners of the crossroads.

Just as I had gotten bored enough, and made my way towards the yarrow plants that grew there, I felt him step out of the darkness.  Looking up and to my side as I crouched down, taking in the smell of the weed, I smiled and went back to what I was doing as I plucked one from the stem. 

Crowley stood with his hands tucked deep and watched me, a little devilish grin on his lips and he said nothing as I stood, walked towards him and put the little plant into the button hold on his lapel. With a pat, I stepped back, or at least tried to but his came up from his pocket and cupped my elbow before I could get away.

“What kind of game are you playing?” He whispered and I only gave him a little smirk. “You called me here, Love, so what can I  _ do _ for you?”

“Well,” I slipped the spectrum into the sheath that lay against my leg and put both hands on his chest.  For some reason, I wasn’t above touching him and he never seemed to give me any hints on whether or not it bothered him, so I kept the connection there. It also told me if he was reaching out with his powers, because it would have sung through me first. “This is it, right, today is the day, so I need your help.”

“You and your counterpart have been doing a fine job on your own, what makes you think you need my help now?”  But I could see the concern in his eyes as he scanned over my face, and his hand suddenly came up to brush my hair from my shoulder.  “Where are your boys?”

“Close, but they’re just waiting for us to finish our business here,” I shrugged and sighed.  “This really is between you and I, Crowley, not Sam, Dean, or Danni.”

“So, what is it that you need, Princess?”

“Power.” I said softly.

“You’re brimming with it, don’t you think you have enough?” He wanted to step back, to create some distance, but his curiosity was just way too high to do that. He was like a cat in devil’s clothing.  “What could you possibly need with more power?”

“I need you to be here,” I handed him a slip of paper, or more like I tucked it into his pocket before he could blink, his eyes never left mine as he felt my hand in his coat, and his fingers brushed my shoulder.  “I need you there, Crowley, to end this.  I’m done being a puppet in this whole play, and I’m going to finish Zane but here’s the thing, you could push this all in our favor, and I’m asking you to be there.”

“Anything for my girl,” he winked and stepped back, his hand slipping from me and glanced around. I watched as he turned and moved towards the darkness, but before he disappeared, he stopped, turned and looked me over.  “By the way, happy birthday.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, a little confused because besides the hint of it days ago, no one seemed to remember, so how did Crowley know.  “Thanks.”

He gave me a sly grin and disappeared into the night.  I turned, still a bit confused and made my way towards the waiting Impala.  Sam paced in front of the car, Dean stood planted in front of the grill as he puffed away on a cigarette and Danni was clicking away on her phone behind the wheel.

Sam stopped as I approached, his hands balled into fist and I smiled as I paused, watched him look down at me with possessive eyes as if he were just visually scanning for anything out of place and when I raised a hand to his chest, his arms were instantly around me.

“So, Crowley?”  Dean sighed as he finished what he wanted off the cigarette, snuffed it out on the bottom of the boot and tucked it away. “That’s part of your plan, the King of Douchebags?”

“He got us into this mess,” I replied as I turned in Sam’s arms, letting the feel of him behind me sink in that I was safe while Dean approached and also stared me down.  The older one’s hand came out and touched my cheek before he glanced up at Sam and let it fall. “We need him to set off the wards if any of you can’t.  Danni and I will be front and center but that doesn’t mean that you two won’t be busy with the rest of Zane’s mediocre band of merry men.”

“What about Cas?” Dean questioned and the three of us turned at the sound of wings, to watch the angel step into the light from the car.

“All of the warding has been set with angel sigils as well,” Cas replied and glanced from Dean, to Sam and back at me.  “There should only be one angel at the most that can get in there, besides Zane of course, but he’s technically not an angel.”

“And Danni?” Sam questioned, “she should be able to walk right in too, right?”

“Yes, being what the girls are doesn’t change the fact that they are essentially human,” Cas answered and we heard the door open, then close as Danni walked over and stood by Dean, cell in hand.

“What is it?”  Sam questioned.

“Message from Carol,” she shrugged but held the phone to Cas, “for you.”

Cas took the phone, a bit confused and read the message quickly before I watched his chest puff up just a little bit and he shook his head.

“I’m going to have to go see her,” he whispered, looking right at me as his brow creased with worry, “she has some important information about the items on the list that you had her collect.”

“We never did finish that case, did we?”  Sam said with a little bit of amusement.

“The killings stopped, the mirror was destroyed,” Cas answered and the four of us turned our gazes in his direction.  Cas looked as if he had been caught red handed and his lips grew taunt. “After the incident in the tunnels under the estate, I went back to the shop and took the mirror, or what was left of it.  I found a spell in Sam’s book earlier that day when we were looking for one to help you, Ali, with the voices in your head. It was made to bind the magic of a cursed object and its ashes.  So, I took the mirror, performed the spell and set it on fire.  I believe you call it a salt and burn.”

“What about the other objects on the list?”  Danni questioned.

“None of them contained Enochian writing, reverse or otherwise, so I believe the powers were coming directly from the mirror.” Cas replied but watched as the phone in his hand lit up again. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. I’ll be back shortly, I promise.” His promise was directed towards me as I nodded and watched him hand back the phone. “Please, let her know I’m on my way.”

“Sure,” she whispered, typing it in, but suddenly he was gone. “Which do you think got there faster, the text or Cas?”

“Why is he popping off to her anyway?”  Sam whispered, like it was a little puzzle he so needed to solve and I smiled as I tilted my head back and tried to catch those curious eyes.

“Well, you’ve got me, Dean and Danni, maybe Cas is looking for a love,” I grinned and listened to Dean scoff, which made me look at the older one, not sure if it was jealousy or annoyance written on his face. “Hey, you can’t keep him yours forever, Winchester, let him spread his wings and find his own little slice of heaven, besides you have Danni.”

“Wait,” he stopped and thought about what I had just said, “what?” But then he got it and rolled his eyes. “I thought we weren’t talking about fanfiction?”

“Who said anything about fanfiction?” I grinned and slipped out of Sam’s arms as I made my way past him, brushing my arm against his and he followed me with his eyes before I noticed the smirk on Sam’s face.  “Projecting much?”

“Bite me, Porter!”  Dean growled and I shook my head.  

I stopped just this side of the darkness, looking into the field where we parked, with my back to the others. They could see me but I didn’t want to look at them, I didn’t want them to see the worry that filled me, because as much as we were preparing for this showdown, there were still things that I needed to do beforehand. It wasn’t long before I was no longer alone and I felt the man tied to me, step up from behind. 

“Hey?” Dean’s voice was low, close and I drew in a deep breath, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” I replied, steadied my nerves and turned to him. “Just kinda doing a mental checklist of all the stuff that needs to happen before this goes south.  So, if you don’t mind, I need to get back to the hotel room.”

“Sammy isn’t on that list, you know that right?” He winked and I couldn’t help the smile, but when I went to walk by, I placed a hand on his chest, got up on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

“Neither are you,” I whispered, teasingly, just to see if I could get a reaction from him, “but you tied to a chair, I could make that happen.”

“Pervert!” He growled, and that made my grin widen as his hand came up to my waist, holding me for just as second as he kissed the side of my head before he released me and let me go on my way.

~~~~~

I stared at the small pebble in my hand, before glancing at the paper in front of me and I looked down at the blade that sat on my lap. I’m pretty sure by now that Dean noticed the absence of his demon blade, but he hadn’t come looking, which in itself was odd, but maybe he knew, maybe he could feel it through our connection.

With a sigh, I pulled the paper down from the table and bit my lips. Was I really doing this?  I felt the tears well up, let one fall before I sniffled back everything and read the lines on the paper.

“Immolandum anima mea,” I whispered, let the stone in my hand grow warm and I closed my fingers around it, “eripe animam meam sacrificare.”

It grew hot within my hand and I had to drop it on the table. I watched this little pebble grow bright red with color and I shook my head.  How was such a little thing going to be able to save my soul, and my life, but I picked it up, no bigger than the head of a pin and looked it over. A crossroads stone, that’s what it had called for so when I picked the yarrow for Crowley, I had also pocketed this little gem.

So, now came the harder part, I mean besides letting your energy, your power flow into a stone, there was always something more dramatic that had to happen. Thank God that Dean was hungry, double thank God, that Dean just couldn’t take being that far away, so he sent Sam.  And yeah, we still had to break that tether.

When the color died down, when it stopped glowing, I picked up the demon blade and held it gently in my hand, hoping not to cut myself any deeper than needed.  Gripping it like a pen with my left hand, something that was already awkward and clumsy, I pressed the tip against the completely visible tattoo that graced the meat of my hand, just below my thumb.  With a towel on my lap, I clenched my teeth as hard as I could as I stabbed the tip down into my flesh.

Angel blades when they cut are like heat and cold and pain all rolled into one, the tip of the demon blade was something altogether different. It was pure pain, fire and as you can imagine, hell, unadulterated hell wrapped into one little pin prick, but as it dug deeper, as I pushed it deeper and slid it down across the mark, I fought to breathe, until I was able to take the metal from my skin.

Swallowing back the need to vomit, I dabbed at the blood that streamed from the wound, curious that it wasn’t healing but knowing ahead of time that it probably wouldn’t, which is why the God Killer blade sat on the table as well.

With a shaky hand, sweating as I breathed through the still growing, searing pain that ran through every muscle in my arm, I picked up the pebble and brought it to the open wound.  With a deep breath, as deep as I could get with my lungs fighting me, I pressed the little objected down into the groove and further still with the tip of a Q-tip, just until I felt it lodge at the base of the slice, so that it was deep in my muscle, and my thumb twitched.

I dropped the white little stick, grabbed the towel and pressed down on the wound, giving myself a breather before continuing on. I could feel the heat from the stone as it worked its way into the fibers of my muscles.  According to the spell, it was supposed to become part of you and I rolled my eyes at the discomfort. 

My breath shook as it came out, as if I were cold, but when I took the towel away from my hand, I watched the blood flow from it, and quickly grabbed the magical one that set just at fingertip reach on the table.  This was supposed to be the easy part, closing it with the blade, but I remembered the feeling every time I used it to shut a wound and for a moment, it made me want to reconsider.

Taking a deep breath, I dropped the cloth on my knee, grabbed the blade with my left hand and squeezed my fingers around the handle, let out the breath in little huffs as if I were getting ready to do a spring and pressed the thick side of the blade against my palm, over the slice in my hand and closed my eyes.  Just like always, there was a pause and I struggled to think that maybe I hadn’t done the spell right, maybe this thing was never going to close, but just as the thought of failure formed, the heat burned through me.

I stood from the chair, head for the bathroom as my stomach began to turn, the blade still gripped and pressed and I knew I wasn’t going to make it.  It fought against the spell that sat tucked inside and I could feel it knitting around the stone.  The pain was unbelievable and my eyes darkened as I fell to my knees halfway to the bathroom. 

The door opened just as I was about to let out a scream, maybe it was the noises of me fighting through the pain that caught his attention but there was suddenly arms around me and I was being pulled back against Dean, the fresh scent of his cigarette settled in his skin as his hand went to my forehead, holding me back against his chest when I fought the darkness to see Sam kneeling in front of me.  His blue-green eyes shot up to stare at mine as the pain died down and my fingers uncurled from the handle of the blade.

“Jesus, Ali, what the hell did you do?”  Sam questioned as I dropped the blade and grabbed my right wrist.

He pulled that same hand into his and looked over the unmarked skin, his thumb smoothing over it as he tried to figure out where the blood had come from but as he touched it, I couldn’t stop my body from responding to the pain and I heard Dean’s breath catch as I moved back against him, where I sat tucked between his knees.

“Sam, man, you gotta stop that,” Dean growled and I watched Sam’s eyes quickly flicker up to his brother and his thumb stopped its caress as I tried to suppress the moan of not only pain, but pleasure as well. Sam straightened just a bit and looked at the table behind us.

“Dean, she has your blade,” he said softly and I felt Dean turn to look at the table and then down at the bloody rag beside him, which he picked up and handed to Sam.  “Ali, what’s going on?”

“Angel-vs-demon blade, which hurts worse?”  I tried to laugh as the pain continued to subside, but Dean wouldn’t let me go, his other arm finally coming across to rest on my stomach as Sam sat on the floor, a hand on my leg and one still holding my bloodied one.  “Demon wins, what a bitch!”

“You cut yourself?”  Dean questioned, his voice scolding and I felt him shake his head before his lips came down on the top of mine.  “I think you need your head examined!”  And, I closed my eyes as a smile formed on my face, before I lazily looked at Sam, squeezing my fingers around his. “What possessed you to do that? You could have gotten killed.”

“Nah, it was just a little scratch,” I whispered but remembered the pain that it caused and my stomach decided to do flip-flops.  “God, let me go,” I growled and pulled off of him.

Dean released me as I did the best I could to scurry to the bathroom just in time to empty whatever I had left in my stomach.  Thank someone that I had managed to put my hair back before I started this whole thing.  Once I could breathe without needing the bowl close by, I flushed and sat back against the tub, the cool feel of the ceramic was a gift as I watched the boys pick up my mess.

It was then that I remember the spell was still on the table, but as I watched Dean pick up his blade, look it over and then glance at me, with a bit of loving disapproval in his eyes, I noticed that the paper had made it to the floor under it and I let out a breath.  Yeah if they had known what I had done, there would be hell to pay.

“Hey, Kid,” Dean whispered as he walked over, squatted down in front of me and held up the blade, “don’t touch my stuff.”

“Hey, Dean,” I spoke softly, but I let the half-cocked smile I felt edging up cross my lips, “bite me.”

“You keep saying that, and I think I might,” he winked and stood, grabbing a plastic cup from the counter. He filled it with water, and handed it down to me before taking a clean face cloth to run under warm water. Sam walked up and stood in the doorway, John’s journal in hand and he gave me a confused look. “What’s that?”

“Dad’s journal,” Sam replied and Dean kind of gave it a “whatever” look before he squeezed out the towel, knelt down and washed off my face, then grabbed my hand and started to clean the blood from my palm, still looking for a sign to see what exactly I had been doing but my eyes were on Sam.  “Why did you take it?”

“Oh, come on, it’s your dad’s life for the last ten years, Sam, don’t you want to know what it says?”  I sighed and watched him raise a brow as his lips turned to a frown.  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, knowing that John, himself was a touchy subject, but the last ten years was even worse. “Listen, from what I read, I’m in there too, so I grabbed it so that I could find out exactly what John knew about the demon riding him, okay, I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“Wait, the demon let Dad out?” Dean questioned and looked between Sam and I, before he stopped just on me.

“Yeah, I guess it was something they came up with but, John never slept, he just gathered everything he could so when he was  _ awake _ , he could write it down, give us something to use.”  I answered and watched as Dean turned to look at Sam, slowly standing up.

“Dad was awake, and what, spying on the demon for us?”  The older one was confused but Sam kind of gave him a shrug and then sighed, loudly.  “You knew about this?”

“I just found out Dean, when we found the grimoire up at the cabin, this is how we found it.”  Sam shrugged and let Dean snatch the journal from his hand before the older one knocked against Sam’s shoulder as he pressed by. 

I slowly got to my feet, watching Sam turn as he followed Dean and I used the opportunity to rinse my mouth out, give it a good, quick brushing and then use the mouthwash that was on the counter. By the time I got out to the middle of the floor, Dean was sitting at the table, reading somewhere at the midpoint in the book, his finger up against his lip as his elbows went to his knees, his usual way of sitting when he was into something.

“Dean, listen,” Sam started but all his older brother did was raise a hand, which instantly silenced Sam. 

“This says Dad came to check on us, Sam,” his voice was low, full of hurt and confusion, but he sat back, rubbed a hand over his mouth and his eye came up to connect with his younger brother.  “Dad knows where we were every week for ten years, he knew just how to find us, and never once did he make contact.”

“For six days out of that week, he was controlled by a demon, Dean.” Sam explained, his voice the one of reason as Dean’s emotions seemed to spiral.  “Maybe he thought he was protecting us, I mean, Cas was watching him too, and if Dad knew where we were, Cas knew where Dad was, so why didn’t Cas say anything?”

“Every time I found him, he was back at the safehouse,” Cas’ voice spoke up pulling my eyes in the direction of the door where he and Danni stood.  “If I had known he was anywhere in your area, Sam, I certainly would have said something.”

“Listen, it doesn’t matter now, does it? Cause he’s dead!” Dean growled and stood up, closing the book, but he shook it as Sam.  “You should have told me about this, Sam, the minute you put your hands on it, I should have been the first to know.”

“Yeah, because that was always the first thing on my mind when I pick something up of Dad’s, gotta tell Dean.”  Sam snapped back and I started to feel the heat in my gut as the air in the room thickened. “Dean, seriously, I didn’t even know she brought it back with here. The only thing I grabbed when we were there was the book, if I had known I would have told you.”

“Okay, so now it’s Ali’s fault?” Dean barked and I tried to keep the vision from turning but I could almost feel it in my heart. My knees buckled as I leaned up against the dresser, the overwhelming anger seemed to flow through me. “What the hell, Sam, he was our father, this is his journal, it has nothing to do with her.”

“What’s with you all of a sudden?” Sam’s questioned, but you could hear the anger through his clenched teeth and my head began to swim.  “Back off her, Dean, she’s not your girl.”

“Then you should really start doing a better job of protecting her, because she’s so screwed up right now it’s going to take a miracle to get her back.” I focused on them, the way they were toe-to-toe and suddenly all I saw was a flash of light and smoky red.

“Guys,” I whispered, trying to catch my breath, but the heat was rising, the energy was flowing towards me and as much as I enjoyed the feeling, knowing that it was something Dean was pushing out scared the hell out of me, but they kept right on going.  “BOYS!” I snapped and both looked at me as I let my legs finally give out. On my knees, leaning against the dresser, eyes full of power, I stared at them. “You need to stop.”

“Ali!” Sam was instantly in a state of panic as he came over and lifted me up from the floor.

I could barely contain my stomach as he moved too fast to lay me on the bed. I didn’t want to lay down, I wanted to sit up, I wanted to move… I wanted to hunt, but the blade was across the room, or tucked somewhere that I couldn’t see it because all I could feel was the vibrations. 

“Just stop fighting,” I whispered as he took my hand and I drew in a deep breath, reaching out for Dean with the other one. I could feel the power from both, the differences between them and surprisingly they seemed to balance me out. Sam’s mouth was pressed against my forehead as he smoothed back my hair, and Dean’s lips were on the back of my hand but it was Danni that I could see at the end of the bed and her hand reached out to grab my leg. “We have to break it.”

“I know,” she whispered as we both looked at Dean. He glanced between us and watched as I sighed before he sat back and shook his head.  “Dean, you can’t stay tied to her.”

“You’re saying I did this?”  He questioned, sitting back and watched Danni nod.  “Through the link, the tether? I sent her that much power?”

“You feel each other’s,” Cas spoke up and Dean released my hand, gently, as he placed it on the bed, but released it none-the-less, “your link is very powerful, Dean, but it will take an emotional toll on the both of you if it continues.”

“I think she’s been through enough,” Dean snapped, glaring at the angel, “don’t you? Both of them have, and I can’t be part of hurting either one of them, so we need to find a way to break it.”

“It’s doing more harm than good anyway,” Danni added and watched as he turned in her direction, the deep anger in his eyes, but then he turned to me.  That was my anger that he was feeling and I turned away from him, only to be caught in Sam’s eyes.  “If it keeps going, you won’t be able to tell whose emotions you’re feeling, which is why the tether was supposed to be between her and Sam.”

“You couldn’t have handled it,” I whispered, looking at the man in front of me, and suddenly the anger in his eyes grew as well. “I’m sorry, it’s true, Sam,” I closed my eyes, then turned to look at Dean because these were his thoughts. He gave me an expression as if I had just caught him doing something that he wasn’t supposed to and scowled. Squeezing Sam’s hand, I reached over and turned him to look at me.  “I was afraid, and stupid, and I tried to control, I don’t know… fate, I guess. But this wasn’t supposed to happen. I couldn’t have you tied to this, and he shouldn’t be locked into it either.”

“So how do we fix it?”  Dean questioned.

“How do you get divorced?”  Danni replied and all of us turned to her.  “The ritual, the binding spell sounded more like wedding vows, you were giving your magic to him, letting him be a beacon in the night.”

“And that says “wedding” how?”  I questioned, making an effort to sit up as Sam released my hand. This was all going very bad. “And how do you divorce a spell?”

“You essentially take back what you gave.” Sam stated, and I watched as he glanced at me, anger and disappointment in his eyes. “You take back your vows.”

I watched him stand and leave the room, and all I could do was close my eyes, but I knew I had to go after him. Pushing off the bed, I moved past the others on rather solid legs but I was when I got to the door of the other room that I saw him pacing, his hands tented over his nose and mouth and a dangerous, deadly look in his eyes.

“Sam?” I spoke softly as I entered the room and waited. He was angry, anyone could see that but he was also dark, and that I could feel.  It flowed off of him like a beacon and I swallowed back the need to rush forward just to touch that darkness. “I can’t fix it, can I?”

“There’s nothing to fix, Ali,” he mumbled through his fingers.  “At least not with me.”

“What does that mean?” I questioned, completely confused, and suddenly my heart hurt. “We’re not… I mean, you’re not…”

The lack of ability to form a coherent sentence must have gotten his attention because suddenly he was looking up at me. I felt the fear then, my own overriding fear of losing him, of never having him with me, of my life without Sam and I felt the tears.

His hands were on my cheeks the next moment, holding me tightly as I felt his body press up against mine, backing me up towards the wall, but just as my hands registered that he was there, that I was able to grasp ahold of his shirt, his lips came down on mine, his knees bending to accommodate the height difference.

He pulled away, at least just his lips did as he held me there, his face pressed against mine as his eyes remained tightly closed.

“You will  _ never _ lose me, Al, I swear,” his voice was barely audible but his words registered the one place they needed too, deep in my heart. “I would never ask you to be with me and then take it back, not over something like this, not ever.”

“You just… I mean, Dean,” I stumbled and he sighed.

“We’ll figure out Dean, we always do.” He smiled against my lips, “what I mean was that there was nothing between us to fix, because there’s nothing wrong with us.”  His mouth pressed against mine and I closed my lips down on his, taking in the taste of him, feeling the flames deep inside grow and it seemed like a natural reaction to pull him closer as my hands came up to his hair, but he pulled away once more. “I know how to break it.”

“How?” He was too close, too hot and with all the emotions that were going on inside me, I needed him too much to keep him that close, and with a little push, I think he got the idea.

Reluctantly, Sam backed away. Standing straight, I watched him eye me over, the look in his eyes was one of possession and want, but he took a few deep breaths, ran his hands through his unruly hair and put a few more steps between us. Releasing the sigh, he reached for the book of shadows and held it up to me, before flipping open the page.

“A ritual for magical unbinding,” he read from the page that he had marked and I felt all the tension go out of my shoulders as I put my head back against the door. “For unbinding magic used to keep a tethered eye on one’s partner, this spell is simple and includes only one ingredient.”

“Let me guess, troll?” I sneered but watched as he smiled.

“The object that bound the two together,” he answered and I closed my eyes. “What?”

“How much do you want to bet that there is no way he still has that,” I sighed.

“Wait, there was an object?”

“I had a piece of twine wrapped around my thumb just before we did the spell,” I replied and shook my head, “I spelled it to make the magic bounce off me, so that the tether between us wouldn’t work, but Dean kind of caught on and took it from me.” I pushed away from the wall and made my way over to look at the book, to get a good look at the spell when Sam set it on the table.  My hand went to his shoulder, needing that contact and Sam glanced up to catch my eyes.  “Dean put it in his pocket, he had it on him during the ritual, but the issue was, your part of the tether, the one that would have bound us, kind of ricocheted and must have linked me to him because he was carrying the twine.”

“A piece of twine?” Sam smiled and I honestly think he really was getting a kick out of this.  “So, we need to find out where it is.”

“Gotta ask Dean that,” I shrugged and watched as he nodded, before looking down at the book.

Yeah, this was going to go over like a surfer during a tidal wave.


	65. DH God Killers - Ch 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to make the donuts.... No wait, that's all wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around during my VanCon hiatus, that was a once (maybe next year too) experience. OMG if you can get to Vancouver, do it.

**Chapter 32**

Sometimes in life, you come to find that even the most well-thought out plans fall apart, players that you never expected to have a part in the play get the lead role, while others that you thought would be key players weren’t there at all. Plans change, people come and go, and while all this is going on, you find that there are things that you just can’t get control of. 

While you plan and chart, map and make for every little hiccup, sometimes thing just seem to slip through, something you would never see coming.

“The string?” Dean questioned, just a little bit of this side of shock and annoyed.  “You want me to find the string that I put in my pocket however long ago?” He put his hands on his hips and lowered his head. “Do you know how much backtracking that would mean?”

“Yeah,” I stated, with indifference and I shrugged, “did you check your wallet?”

“What?” he grinned, “No! Why would I put it there?”

“It’s usually where you stash your rubbers.” I answered honestly and heard Sam cough behind me. Dean rolled his eyes, dug his wallet out of his back pocket and I watched those green orbs come back at me narrowed.

“I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the fact that you would think of my wallet, or that you know where I stash my condoms,” he mumbled as he opened the bi-fold wallet and pulled on the fabric, showing me the content of the bill fold.  There, inside, along with a pretty thick stack of bills, were two foil packets and an old piece of string.  “What the hell, woman, are you going through my stuff?”

“Seriously?” Sam asked as he watched Dean pull the string out and hold it up between two fingers, but he only got a smile from me as he shook his head. “Okay, well, we just need the salt circles.”

I walked by Dean as I snatched the keys to the Charger from the table and made my way out to the car. I felt him follow, and as I leaned in to see what Sam had hidden there, I could feel his presence closing in.

“This is why we have to break it.” I sighed and felt the car move as he leaned against it. “You can’t even let me walk out the door anymore.”

“You think that’s because of the tether and not because I’m concerned for your safety?”  Dean questioned and I stood up, turning to look at him, two large containers of salt in my hand.

“How did this turn into us?”  I questioned and stared into those confused eyes.  “When this all began, when I got down here, it was about the case, about your Dad about everything else in the world and now it’s down to us, you and me, Dean, how did that happen?”

“It’s called a spell, Ali,” he growled, and watched as I shook my head.

“It was before the  _ spell _ , Dean!” I glanced up at the stars, the way the light from the rising sun was just about to start the longest day of the year. It was just past midnight, 12:24 and the light was already starting to break on the horizon. “Do you realized that crap between us has just been going down since we got here, no wait, since the car ride down. It’s been nonstop between us, how fair is that to Danni and Sam.”

“I think you’ve lost your mind, this isn’t any different than it’s ever been.” He replied but he still seemed to close the distance without really realizing that he was doing it, his hand resting on mine as I gripped the frame of the trunk.  “I’m sorry if my wanting to keep you safe disturbs you.”

“It doesn’t,” I paused and shook my head. “You don’t get it, Dean, it doesn’t disturb me, it confuses me.”

“Well, I’m sorry for that too,” he growled and went to move away but I grabbed his shirt and stopped him in his tracks.

“Wanna let me finish, Winchester?” I ordered and watched as he stared up at the sky. “It confuses me because it’s growing, it’s getting stronger and I don’t know what to do about it. I meant what I said in the warehouse, Dean, I love you.”

He turned back to me and reached out, caressing the back of his hand down my cheek. “And you know that I meant it too, Ali, but it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change who we are to each other, and it doesn’t change who we’re with or who we fell for.”

“I know that,” I let him go and grabbed the cans again, before I turned away from him.

“Hey, Kid,” his voice had me stopping as he stepped up behind me, a hand sliding to my hip.  “I not going anywhere, I don’t care what happens or how confused you feel, you’re not getting rid of me.  Sammy understands that, Danni, she gets it, and you,” his lips brushed my cheek before he stopped by my ear, “you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

I smiled as he let me go and walked past me. Sam stood in the doorway, a little smirk on his face as he crossed his arms and the two brothers exchanged glances before Sam came out and took the cans from me.

“So where are we doing this?” I questioned and watched as he licked his lips.

“We’re missing one thing,” he shrugged and I watched his eyes go towards the front of the cars.  When I turned I watched as Crowley walked out of the darkness. “A sixth person.”

“Why didn’t we need him before?” But all Sam did was shrug as Crowley stepped up beside me, gave me a grin and looked between the two of us.

“My, aren’t we a sorry lot.” I heard his stupid accent whisper and I so wanted to punch him, but I saw the look on Sam’s face when my fists bunched up.

“Can we just get this over with, please?” I questioned, before turning away and heading out towards the back field where I had seen Cas, Danni and Dean disappear to.  Sam closed the door to the room and then moved ahead of us, but as we rounded the corner, as Sam stepped up beside Dean, handing off the can of Salt, I stopped Crowley, almost literally by pushing him up against the brick wall.

“Why would Dean ever want to unlink himself from you?”  The man’s deep voice stirred up the anger in me and I met his eyes as he stared down at me, “the power that you hold is astronomical. Between you and Squirrel, I bet you could take on the world.”

“Just drop it,” I barked and watched him raise a brow.  “I have to do this and you know why, but I want to ask a few things of you before this goes down.”

“I told you, Pet, you’re already part of a deal, you can’t sell your soul to me if it’s already bought and paid for.” 

“You owe me, Crowley, and you swore to protect me so this is me asking for that protection, for them,” I turned and looked up at Sam and Dean, which got the demon’s eyes to go there too and Crowley smiled.

“You want  _ me _ to watch over those two lumbering buffoons?” he questioned with a smile, but I knew he would do it. He had a soft spot for them, and I heard him let out a breath, giving in way too easily.  “Fine, but under one condition.”

“No, Crowley, no more conditions, no more pacts, no more contracts.” I met his eyes once again and watched as he grew more curious.  “There is one other thing.”

“Don’t you think you’re pushing it with having me babysit the Winchesters?” but he grinned as he said it.

“They don’t need to be babysat, they need to be protected.  If I know anything about what’s coming, if anything in that show is true, they’re going to need you, and I’m not saying that to make your stupid Scottish head any bigger, they really are going to need your help.”

“I already said it was fine, Peaches, do you want me to take it back?”  His voice went low as he started to get annoyed. “Now spit out your other thing before we get called to join the lovefest.”

“Danni,” I started.

“Already protected, Pet, can’t do much more with that soul either.”

“Just zip it and listen,” I closed my eyes for a second, to really gather my words and took a breath.  When I looked up at him, the fire burned in his eyes and I could feel his power.  “The next time I come looking for you, I want you to know just where to find her.”

“What makes you think you won’t know where she’s at?”  His eyes scanned me over and suddenly, as if realization came to him, his brows went up, “Oh,” was all he said before he looked over at Danni, watched the way she moved for just a moment before those eyes rested on me once again, “done.”

“That’s it, just like that?” It seemed to shock me that he gave in so fast, but this  _ was _ Crowley, which meant that there was something else up his sleeve. He leaned in, close to my ear and whispered.

“Anything for my Angel,” and with that, he walked around me. His little remarks were really starting to get on my nerves and I held back the audible growl that seemed to fill my chest.

~~~~~

Dean stood across from me looking down at the thick circle of salt in the grass, before his eyes glanced up at mine and I looked away, watching Sam close the circle around me. This time was different, our circles touched, where the other ones hadn’t. I could feel the anxiety growing and felt my hands begin to shake as Dean pulled the piece of twine out of his pocket.

I watched as he played with it, running it through his fingers as I witnessed all of the emotions that ran through his eyes, something that no one else would have seen if they weren’t paying close enough attention. He looked up at me suddenly, cleared his throat and clenched it between his fingers as he stood straight and Sam finished what he was doing with that salt.

“So, ah, what…” Dean looked around before his eyes landed right on mine, “what do we got to do to get this done?”

“Simple enough,” Sam whispered and handed me the lighter. “You have to break it.”

“That’s it?” Dean questioned as I looked down at the lighter in my hand, but I knew that wasn’t  _ just _ it. Breaking it with fire was symbolic of burning away a connection, like burning a bridge and I could feel the way it started to weigh in my hands. “I could have freaking done that on my own.”

“It wouldn’t have worked,” I added, and chanced looking up into those green eyes. “One of us has to hold it, the other has to…”

“Oh,” he replied, like he got my meaning before I even said the words.  “Well, this blows!” He took a moment to fidget around with it just a little more before he grabbed each end and held it out to me.  “Do it.”

“Dean, I,” but I couldn’t say anything else, couldn’t express my own fears on breaking something so strong but I knew that it was just the magical tie that kept us together, it wasn’t going to change the way that we felt, or the connection, at least I hoped not.  I flicked open the lighter and ran my thumb over the wheel, sparking up a small flame from the Zippo. Moving closer I could see the nervousness in his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Not at all,” he breathed but moved the twine so that it rested within the flames and we both watched as it caught fire. It sparked, like a little firecracker and suddenly Dean dropped it.  Watching it sale to the ground between us, I closed the cover on the lighter, sealing off the flame and watched as the twine finished burning between us.  Confused, I looked up at Dean, and he at me as he shook his head. “I don’t feel any…”

The sharp pain in my chest suddenly sent me to the ground as I pressed my hand against the feeling of my heart being ripped through my ribcage.  Thought misty eyes, I could see Dean on his knees, his eyes filled with tears as his head was back, eyes closed but his lips were parted.  His fingers seemed to dig in as he pressed against the spot over his heart.

I let the pain out, let a small cry from my lips as I placed my head to the coolness of the grass, hoping it would soon reside but it only became blinding and I felt Sam’s hand on my back, smoothing across the skin there. 

Curled up onto myself, with my knees pulled to my chest, I turned my head and looked at Dean, at the way he was now sitting, fists to the ground, head hanging down, breathing through it as the pain began to fade.

I reached out a hand to him, wanting nothing more than for him to take it but just as he reached out, just as I saw the green of his eyes in the darkness, that hand was ripped away.

“Dean!” Sam screamed, catching my attention and I pushed myself up.

Zane smiled down at me from behind the older Winchester, a blade to Dean’s throat as his hand gripped him by the hair.  The demon was smiling, and his eyes were full of anger.

“I’m tired of playing this little game, Love,” Zane growled. “Sunrise will soon be here, time to begin a new world, and you’ll either come and stand next to me, or you’ll watch me kill your precious family, one by one, starting with this Winchester.” 

“Dean,” I whispered, as I moved to my knees, staring in disbelief. Dean’s eyes were locked on mine, and his face was full of anger. He shook his head, just a bit, his fingers came up, holding me off before I could lunge. 

“Tread carefully, my precious girl, once little slice of this knife and your light won’t ever shine again.” Zane’s lip curled in anger.

_ My _ light?  I shook my head, not sure that he even understood what he was saying but Dean didn’t say a word, he didn’t have too. His eyes went to Sam, landed on his brother and I watched that way they used just their eyes to say what they wanted.  Sam’s hand grasped my arm, something Dean had told him to do, to make sure I stayed put because the anger in me would have had me up and moving without a thought.

And then they were gone.

“DEAN!” Danni screamed and I turned to see Cas holding her in his arms and she fought to get away, and then Crowley stood there, angel blade in hand but none of them moved, everyone just seemed to freeze in their spot, at least maybe it was just for that one second, that single beat of my heart.

I swallowed and sat back against Sam, his chest heaving as he stared at the spot where his brother just was, before I realized what had just happened and I turned to him, sat up on my knees and grabbed his shirt.

“I know where he is,” I whispered and even as it took a minute to register, Sam’s gaze traveled to mine.

“What?” he said softly.

“I know where he took him,” I continued and put my hand on Sam’s face, holding him tightly as I looked into his eye. “I can take you there.”

“You’re going to need more of a plan than that, Kitten,” Crowley spoke up as he stepped closer.  I nodded, giving him a little bit of a scowl and looked around, backing away from Sam.  Closing my eyes, I concentrated on Zane, but just as I touched the darkness, I was pulled back to my body and I opened my eyes to find myself staring right into Crowley’s growing red orbs.  “That’s not a plan either, are you trying to get yourself killed?  Zadimus will take you apart limb by limb, Ali, and the first place he’ll strike is your heart, that’s why he took Dean, now keep it together.”

“Get off me!” I snapped, swiping at his hand as I stood from the spot where he held me and covered my mouth as I walked. I could feel the eyes on me but the only thing I wanted to feel was the anger, I needed it to power up, I needed it to clear my vision.

“Are you out of your mind?” Again, Crowley was right in front of me.

“What do you want from me?” I stepped up to him, the pain of losing Dean, even if he were still alive at the moment was overpowering, and I felt the flash in my vision, felt it growing in my heart.  “This is what you wanted, me, full force, to kill a god, and now you’re asking if I’m out of my mind.”  I clenched my fists, dug my nails into the palm of my hands and watched the smoky red vision take over.  “I swear to God, Crowley, if he dies…”

“You’ll what?”  The demon closed the gap between us and I could feel the blade, from all the way out in the field, I could feel the vibration as the air thickened.  “Good,” he whispered and my eyes settled back on him, “yes, do you feel that, all that power?”

I stumbled to find the words, wanted to be pissed at him for making me power up but he had gotten me to a point that I needed to be.  I watched the smile cross his lips, just a little smirk and he looked back at Castiel.

“Now we need your partner to get her wings and we’ll be ready to go.”

“This isn’t a game, Crowley!” Sam stomped up and put himself between the two of us, his hand going to my arm as he tucked me behind him.  “Do you even know what happens when she’s that charged? Have you seen what it does to her?”

“Oh, I’ve seen, Moose, trust me, I’ve seen.” And he said it with pride but I heard him walk away, stepping in the opposite direction than the hotel.  “And I’ll meet you wherever you need me to, but until then,” I moved from behind Sam, looked over at the King of Hell in all his red glory and watched him point at me, “that one there, she can find and kill evil with her eyes closed.  So, you won’t mind me stepping away to save my own ass.”

And with that, he was gone.

Sam turned to me, grabbed me by the upper arms and stared me in the eyes.  “Ali, can you find Dean?”

“Yeah,” I glanced over at Danni and Cas, at the way they glowed and I shook my head, “but I can’t take all of you, I can only take one.”

“Danni can follow you,” Cas suggested as the two of them got closer and I tried to blink back the power but it didn’t seem to be working, so I turned away. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “you’re too bright.”

Danni laughed, the first thing I had heard from here since Dean had disappeared.  She had screamed his name but everything else had been blocked out by the fact that all I could hear was the whoosh of his heartbeat, though faded, it seemed that the tether was still there.

“If you find him, I’ll find you,” Danni whispered, her hand on my cheek as I closed my eyes, still not able to look at her.  “Ali, I trust you, just get us to Dean.”

“Fine, but we’re going to need some supplies.”  I replied and slipped out of their grasp, moving towards the room.  I needed the blade, I needed Dean’s knife and I think I might have needed at least a little space.  I had a plan, I just had to stick with it.

~~~~~

The blade vibrated in my hand, there was no way to not feel it as I closed my fingers around it and found myself smiling, but then my thoughts went completely south as I looked up at Sam and wondered how good he was with toys, if he could pull of half the stuff he did with just his hands, but I shook the thought away as I saw the sly, cheeky grin run up his lips. Yep, he knew me well.

With a glance at Danni and Cas, I slowly reached out and waited for Sam’s fingers to slip around mine.  As I drew in a deep breath, as he stepped closer, I looked up into those blue-green eyes and licked my lips.

“Whatever happens, Sam, I love you!” I whispered, but it was only for his ears, and he reached out his free hand, stroked down the side of my face gently with the back of his fingers and I watched his jaw clench.

“I love you too, Ali, more than anything.” He replied, and stepped towards me.  That was my cue, that was the go ahead signal that told me there was no turning back now, and my gaze flickered at the two behind him. No words were spoken, nothing exchanged except a look between Danni and I before I took a step back.

When Sam looked around, his jaw nearly dropped as the smell of the Whole Foods store surrounded us.  I watched him swallow, his gaze going everywhere as I turned in the direction of the pull inside my chest.

“Can you feel him?” He whispered, pushing himself up close behind me.  If I leaned back, all I would feel was Sam and as much of a comfort as that was, it also made my heart race, and thoughts of failure run through my mind. “Ali?”

“Yeah,” I replied and felt his fingers touching mine but I couldn’t take his hand, there was just something there that made me afraid to touch him, “he’s this way.”

The two of us seemed to move silently through the halls, as if we weren’t really there in solid form but it might have been because the only other noise I could make out was the sound of Dean’s heart, at least until I felt the presence of Danni and Cas, not far from where we had come in.

We weaved around boxes, past walk-in refrigerators, stacks of some sorts of fruits and vegetables, until we came to a hallway that I recognized. Instantly, I could feel the wards that Sam and Danni had put up, the magic that seemed to permeate the air and I shivered.

“I thought you didn’t activate them,” I said softly as Sam stepped up beside me and looked around.

“I didn’t, all of our wards are off,” he replied but I could hear the sound of concern in his voice. “Someone else must have activated something.”

“Great, we tripped the early warning system,” I sighed and turned as Cas and Danni came around the corner.  “Well, we can’t all be in the same place at the same time, that’s way too convenient.”

“Al,” Sam whispered, and I knew what he was warning me about.  Too much power was surging and I was feeling it.

I took a deep breath, raised my hand and paused for a moment to catch myself before I looked at Danni and Cas. “I should go in,” I suggested and looked at the three of them, but before they could protest I kept speaking. “It’s me he wants, and it’s Dean he has, because of me.  If I went in, then he wouldn’t even care that the rest of you were coming up from the other entrances.”

“That’s probably the most asinine plan I’ve ever heard!” Danni spoke up and I rolled my eyes as I looked at her.

“Seriously, cause that’s all that I got, unless you think going in guns blazing is going to be a better plan.” I snapped and watched her shake her head. “Really, if you got something else then please, let’s hear it!”

“In every horror movie, they split up all but the main character bites it!” She shrugged, “sorry, not going to be Suzie Q and bite the dust in the first five minutes of this B-movie.”

“So, what do we do?”

That was when things got a little crazy. 

It seemed to be the best way to handle a situation, stand and argue until something comes out of the woodwork to bite you in the ass. In this case, it was demons, about fifteen of them. We sliced and slashed our way through the crowd of monsters, and with each one it seemed that my power grew, but my view of the others seemed to disappear. 

We were separated, just what we had said we didn’t want to do and just when I felt the blade slice through the fourth or fifth neck that I had swung at, I found myself in the main hall, the same room where I had kept Dean tied to a chair.

Bloody from the fight, holding a dripping blade down towards the floor, I stepped backwards as I looked up at the glowing sigils on the walls. These were the wards that I could feel, the ones that made me feel trapped and edgy, the ones that Zane had put up to stop me from going anywhere, because I knew once I crossed that threshold, there was no way I was getting back out.

The mildly annoying sound of hands clapping together in a sarcastic rhythm too loud to be anything but a big fat “you just screwed up” kind of applause came from behind me and I slowly turned, letting out the breath that I had been holding, the one that I had taken just as the head of the last demon rolled onto the floor.

Dean looked beat to hell kneeling on the floor in front of Zane, his face bloody, his eye swelling as the crimson liquid dripped down his right side, his lips were split and I watched as he swayed, but he reached out a hand as demon gripped his hair and brought the knife around again.

I swung the blade, watching every little movement that Zane made when I stepped closer. I tilted my head, pushed back every feeling I had accept the anger and licked my lips.  The demon laughed, and I say demon because there was no angel left in this one. Hybrid or not, there wasn’t any light that would make me think of anything but the devil.  He laughed a deep-throated sound that nearly turned my stomach and I could remember it from the night that he did nothing but torment me with it. This time, though, I was strong enough to block him out.

“So, what now?” I questioned, giving him a shrug, “are we going to monologue our way through this until I’m close enough to run you through, or are we going to go back and forth with the whole “be my bride, stand at my side” bull crap that you pulled last time?”

“I thought I might just kill this one,” he said with a neither-here-nor-there kind of tone, but as he said it, he moved the knife and waved it around, “and then maybe do the same with the other one, you know cut him down to may be deer-sized more manageable pieces before I ate his heart.”

“Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen,” I laughed and shook my head. “Why don’t you just let him go, I mean, he did what he intended to do, he got me here, you got me here, just like you wanted.”

“Yeah, but now I want just a little bit more,” he grinned and his accented began to grate on my nerves.  I was tired of hearing it in my head, out loud, and I was done looking at his face.

“What else could you possibly want? I mean, honestly, you have everything.” I needed to pace, my feet wouldn’t stay still and I had to stall for time.  Danni needed to be in the room for this to possibly work.

“It’s simple really,” he grinned, “I want Danni dead, I want Crowley on a spike, and I want your little angel under the heel of my boot.”

“Oh, is that all?” I laughed. “Dead Winchesters, dead angel, dead King, and oh yeah, dead Danni? Why do I not see this happening either?”

“Oh, you’ll be surprised what can happen when you put your mind to it.” It seemed to be working because Zane let go of Dean and started making his way over towards the edge of the devil’s trap, closer to me but I stopped just outside the line.  Not glancing at Dean, but seeing him move out of my peripheral vision, I watched the way that Zane looked me over. “You’re so very beautiful,” he complimented but I rolled my eyes, “no one ever showed you how to properly take a compliment, did they?”

“It’s not the compliment, it’s the person saying it that I could really do without.” I shook my head and wiped the blood off the blade with the side of my jeans. “No matter what you say, you’re not going to change my mind about being with you.”

“I could just compel you.” Zane whispered, smiling, as he stopped just short of the line and I grinned back.

“You are more than welcome to try.”

Zane gave me just a little shake, “I think I could fall in love with you,” but this statement was followed by a laugh. “No wonder children, these boys are so deeply in love with you,” he looked at Dean, who had made progress across the barrier line, but he had just about run out of breath when he rolled over onto his back, trying to find the strength. “Even that one is in love with you, a strange kind of love, but still deeply in it. I wonder if his girl knows that the connection runs so deep.”

“Oh, she knows something alright.” Danni’s voice spoke up from the other side of the circle and I listened to the low laugh of the man before me.  Danni placed the blade up on her shoulder, the blood had been wiped at some point and its edges seemed to shine in the light from overhead. “Our boys love us, asshole, that’s all that counts.”

“You may think so,” he turned to her, put his back to me and I shook my head at Danni as he moved in her direction but that was when I watched Cas move up to where Dean lay.  He reached down, touched the bloodied man’s forehead and I felt the power that the angel transferred, which also caught Zane’s attention. “Well, well, well, looks like the gangs all here, all we’re missing is…” Zane turned to his left and watched as Sam stepped out of the darkness, “the little brother, the lover… Sammy.”

“Don’t call me that,” Sam snapped, pulling out the colt from behind his back as he clicked the slide back.  He looked over at me and winked. “You okay?”

“Me?” I grinned, “peachy.”

“So this is your plan? This little gathering of souls?”  Zane laughed and, oh, how I hated it. “Seems you’re a little short on power there, Precious.” He stared at me, coming back up to the line again and I watched his eyes glow a fierce blue “Where’s the King?”

“He didn’t come with,” I smiled and watched that grin turn to a scowl. “I guess he didn’t feel that it was as much of an important day after all. I mean, honestly, if you think about it, he already gave me  _ my _ birthday present.”

“And what was that?” 

Zane blinked as I whispered under my breath: “transire pravus,” and suddenly, he was pushed back from the line.

“What did you do?” he barked as he reached out a hand, letting it shimmer along the barrier and the small scowl turned back to that evil grin. “A devil’s trap?”

I gave him a slight shrug and watched as he looked over the lines on the floor, now visible under the glow of the magic that sealed it so that no evil could pass. Yeah, one foot in the wrong direction and I was trapped behind that line as well. He looked up at me, the glow in his blue eyes was filled with humor just a little too much and I watched as he bit down on his lip.


	66. DH God Killers - Season Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens in the end? What comes next if anything does? Where do we go from here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for coming along on this amazing ride. Can't wait to see where the next adventure lies, or how things unfold. Please leave a comment, kudos, contact me on Twitter, you can even bitch me out if you want. @dgray3994. I welcome the thoughts

**Chapter 33**

“Well, you know, it might have been the best we could do with what we had but we did have just a little bit of help.” I glanced over at the others that stood at the ready as the trap sealed and finally set my eyes back on Zane’s. he looked like a child, some spoiled little brat and something about that really bothered me. “So, yeah, a devil’s trap.”

“Mixed with just a bit of angel juice,” Crowley laughed as he stepped out of the shadows, moving up to stand beside me. He bumped my arm with his elbow. “Your wards are set, there will be no other demons getting in this room.” He beamed with pride and winked at me. “You’re welcome.”

“You really are a moron if you think this will hold me.” Zane sighed but he watched the way that I didn’t sway under his threat. “You think your puny spells can hold me?”

“Actually, they’re not our spells,” I whispered.

“They’re from Asmodeus,” Danni finished, which made Zane spin on his heels in her direction.  “You see, Daddy Dearest didn’t like what he created so he wrote it all down.”

“Every little spell that we could use against you,” Sam spoke up, “he put it all down in a book and he let our father watch.”

“So, yeah,” Dean smirked, now standing next to the angel, “we know everything. Every which way in heaven and on Earth to put you down, you son of a bitch.”

“Oh, I love the human mentality!” Zane laughed and suddenly, his arms went out in both directions.

Sam flew across the room, pushed back against the concrete wall by an invisible force so hard that he was knocked unconscious. Dean and Cas were tossed like ragdolls, thrown through the air, landing with the sound of a grotesque thud as I heard the air go out of both of them.

Zane turned to Crowley, his hand shot out and gripped into a fist, literally squeezing the demon King with an invisible fist that forced him off the ground.

“Demons are always so bloody smug! Bloody arrogant little bastards!” Zane growled as his bright red stared at the man in black. “I could snap your head off right now.”

“Go ahead and try,” I whispered and watched him look at me in shock. “I mean, you seem to play a mean game but can you really do it or are you just a little limp?” Zane growled as he tossed Crowley way, somewhere into the darkened corner of the building and he came at me, only to hit the barrier. “How’s that holding up now?”

“When I get to you, there isn’t anything I won’t do,” he threatened, his face turning red as he growled and all I could do was smile. “You will come to me, Alison, you will give into the darkness.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Dean sat up, shake the cobwebs out of his head and look at me, then look around for his brother. My head turned in the direction of Sam as if to say to Zane that I was worried about him, and that was the way the monster took it.

“Don’t worry about him, love, you won’t remember him when we’re done,” he whispered and slowly, I licked my lips, before biting down on the bottom one.

“You think you’re that powerful that I would just give up everything to rule beside you?”  I questioned, moving up to the barrier, my hand twisting on the handle of the knife.  “You truly think that whatever you offer me would make me want give up what I have just to be with you? You selfish, pigheaded, self-centered little shit! Who’s the arrogant little bastard now, Zane? You’re just a child with powers and play toys! Is there any part of you that’s even a man?”

“UGH!” he screamed at me and the power vibrated through the whole building. I knew what I was doing, pissing him off, poking the bear, but I needed him angry to fuel what I needed to do, I needed him angry so that I could take what power I had to and get this finished. “You stupid little whore!”

Looking at my surroundings, I knew that the time was drawing near, I could feel it in the air, in the way the sun was rising. There was always a point in the day, especially on the solstice where the power of the Sun God blinded the power of the Moon Goddess and this was that moment, this was that time and I had to use everything I had to finish this now.

I glanced at Danni, who stood behind him, as my eyes focused on Zane, his face full of anger and disgust, but I was trying to keep him distracted from Dean, who was trying to get to his brother.  My heart raced as I caught the little movements of the older Winchester as he practically crawled towards Sam, who lay unconscious against the wall. Cas was out too, somewhere in the darkness behind the demon. Even Crowley had been tossed somewhere into the blackness but I couldn’t see either of them, I was trying to keep the one in front of me from noticing.

This was it, it was just me and Danni, no boys to save our ass, no angel to heal it, just me and the woman who stared at me, waiting on a signal.

“Undo the trap, Alison,” he whispered seductively for probably the seventh time, none of them getting the response he wanted. I flipped the handle of the blade around in my hand and shook my head.

“You know I can’t do that, sweets,” I smiled at him, taunting him.  This shouldn’t have gone down like this but there was no way to stop it now. I knew what I had to do, and I knew how it had to end but I would be damned if I wasn’t taking this bastard with me.

“Then I’m so sorry,” he said, giving me just a sad little look before it turned into a sneer, “I’m just going to have to do this!”

I watched as Dean stopped moving as Zane raised a hand, and suddenly Dean was clawing at the invisible fingers that close around his throat.  I started to panic, I couldn’t lose Dean, I sure as hell couldn’t lose Sam, who moaned from the spot that he had landed and my eyes locked on Danni as she finally settled into position.

“Wait!” I snapped and watched the smile return to his face. “Stop, please, don’t hurt him. I’ll give you what you want.”

“Prove it,” he grinned and I licked my lips as I stepped closer. I watched as his eyes ran over me, taking in every inch as I crossed over the line of the devil’s trap that lay on the floor. Now I was stuck, this was a variation of the one they had used on me but still just as powerful.  I stopped just as I came within arm’s reach and took a breath. “So, what does that prove?”

“I have to bring it down, because I can’t get out of it either. So, I stay in here with you, or blow it open enough for us both to get out, but you have to let them go first before I do that.” I bargained and watched as he lowered his hand. Behind me, Dean gasped for air and I let the relief fill me but I knew what was coming next and I braced myself for it. Zane reached out, brushing his fingers over my cheek. “What now?”

“Now you do what I wanted you to from the very beginning,” he said softly, almost sweetly, “you stand beside me and rule the world.”

“There’s just one more thing before I agree to that,” I sighed and looked deep into his eyes as I clenched the handle in my fist. I watched as Danni readied the blade behind him.

“And what would that be?” He cooed and I just couldn’t help but grin.

“You die,” I replied and watched the smile disappear from his face as Danni plunged the blade deep into his back.

The bright white light from somewhere within him grew as his eyes started to flicker, growing brighter as I closed mine against the overpowering brightness and suddenly, I heard a laugh before me, getting my immediate attention and my eyes locked on his. But he couldn’t reach the blade in his back, and his angel half was gone.

“Did you really think that would work?” He taunted. “You know you can’t kill me, right and in order to take care of the darkness, you have…”

“To sacrifice myself,” I whispered and watched Danni’s eyes go wide, “I know, I read.”

“Are you sure you read it right, because the only blade that can hurt you is sticking out of my back, and I’m pretty positive your little cousin back there, sister, whatever you want to call her isn’t going to be able to yank it out and drive it deep enough before I snap her neck.” He growled but he also found he was glued to that spot. The blade acted like a trap itself, keeping him locked in place and I let the smile fade from my face. 

The time was right, it was now and as I stared into his black eyes, knowing that only the demon remained, I could feel the pull of it in my veins, the reason my body was so in tune with his, because like Sam, his darkness tugged at me, beaconed me.

“I’m not going to need her to do anything of that kind, Zane, and yeah, I read that somewhere too.” I said softly as I let the darkness take hold, let the power flash before my eyes and I watched him turn to a smoky red haze, seeing the blood rush through his body, every beat of his heart and I whispered the words out loud, the ones that had been in my head since I placed that small pebble into the muscles of my hand. “Dereliquit me virtus.”

I felt the burn in my hand, the way that it shot up through the muscle and I clenched my teeth, having just forsaken my powers, having just told the universe that I was giving them up, and I raised my hand to watch the tattoo disappear in a blaze of red before I turned the handle so that the point faced me. I had to do this at the right time, just when the power was about to disappear because I had to have just enough left to keep him tied to me.

I thought of Dean at that moment, praying to the heavens that the tether had been broken because I didn’t need him to feel this. Zane’s eyes grew large as he watched the glow in my hand. I was watching him, making sure that this didn’t backfire before I had a chance to do what came next.

Gathering everything I had, hoping to God that all the pieces fell in place, I raised the blade up and had it come crashing down on my soft stomach, someplace easy enough for the blade to penetrate without having to keep thrusting it in. I knew it was sharp, that it sliced through most everything with ease, but I didn’t realize there wouldn’t be any pain as it entered.

I expected agony, I expected to scream out in torture, for it to be worse than the angel and demon blade together, but I felt nothing as I buried it guard deep into my flesh, passing through muscle and soft tissue.

Danni screamed as I pushed deeper and suddenly I felt the flicker of heat inside, my hand coming away from the handle as I looked down. I had seen it more than a dozen times, the way the body reacted to the blades, any of them, the way the insides sparked and sizzled, lit up and let you see the skeleton hiding inside.

As my body released the energy, I kept my eyes locked squarely on Zane’s as he stood there in shock. With a smile I watched his fade, and suddenly, he seemed to explode. With that, I yanked the blade from my body, just as If felt my feet leave the floor from the blast.

I hit the concrete harder than I ever thought possible, but I was outside the circle, I had crossed the line and there wasn’t any repercussions but when I looked down, pushing myself back against the cabinets the surrounded us as much as possible, my hand automatically went to the gushing hole in my stomach.

I watched my hand cover with blood, the crimson color coated it as I tried to keep my breathing under control, my heart from overworking, but the blinding light that came from where I stood caught my attention, bringing my eyes away from where my life flowed from me.

I stared in shock at the angel that stood behind Zane. Gadreel, in all his glory, eyes blazing at full power, had his arms wrapped around Zane, the hybrid’s head hung down, but I knew he wasn’t dead, just human. We had destroyed his light, killed off his darkness and the angel’s gaze turned to me.

“I will take him from here, him and the blades. They are of no use to you anymore.” His voice was commanding.

I wanted to tell him to jump off a bridge with how much use they were to us in the beginning too.  I really wanted to tell him where to stick it but he looked at me, reached out a hand and the sudden shock of heat filled me. I clenched my teeth as I looked down at the wound, seeing the glow from the angel’s powers deep inside me and soon the blood stopped.

“Alison, remember what I said about the ramifications of your choices.” Gadreel scolded and rolled my eyes. What did it matter anyway? The wheels were in motion, and the darkness hadn’t completely gone from me, I could still feel it. “This isn’t the end.”

“It never is,” I whispered and watched as the light show began again and slowly I lifted my arm to block the light, but when Gadreel disappeared, when he faded from sight, alone with Zane and both blades, the energy seemed to fade with him, and while I wasn’t bleeding anymore, I was still dying inside.

The world started to fade in and out, it became harder to breath, as I tried to look around but couldn’t pick up my head. Was I just too tired? Had I just finally given up, but that was when I felt the heat beside me, a hand grip my shirt and a solid body seemed to surround me.

I watched Danni scurry closer as she moved into my line of sight, I watched Cas come too and make his way to sit by my side. Even in the shadows, I watched Crowley stir, but I was fading, and I felt no pain. A hand was on my cheek as I lay against Dean’s chest, and he tilted my head up to look me in the eyes.

“Hey, Ali, where are you going?”  He whispered, giving me a slight smile.  “Stay here, Kid, stay with me.” I couldn’t say anything as that part of me shut down, I just didn’t need to reply, but I couldn’t move my hands to do anything as well but I could feel Danni’s around them. “Cas, do something.”

Dean’s pleads were heard as Castiel’s hands were on my cheek and I found myself staring at his bright blue eyes.  I felt him reach out mentally, felt him touch the very tip of my soul and suddenly he pulled away.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I don’t know…” Cas stopped, and I blinked as I saw the emotions in his eyes, real emotions, loss, doubt, pain, and his voice cracked. “I can’t find anything wrong, she’s just slipping away.”

“Can’t you fix it?”  Dean begged, ignoring or not caring about what Cas had just told him but the angel did nothing, he just shook his head.  “SAM! Where’s Sam?” I let out a sigh, one that took a bit to come back from, as if I needed a break from my breath to catch my breath, and he looked down at me. “Don’t leave, Ali, not without Sam, stay here for Sam.”

Sam! Of course, I knew why part of me was missing and as much as I wanted to move, there was nothing I could do but turn my head in the direction that I thought I had seen him in last. 

Dean turned me back quickly and pulled me up against him more. His arms around me, one hand going towards the waist of my jeans as he tried to gather me closer, but suddenly his hands were looking for where the blood was coming from. His hands were frantic, moving my shirt out of the way to touch the skin underneath and I wanted to smile, I missed the feeling of his touch against mine and I fought to not close my eyes, not yet, as his fingertips moved over the very spot that the blade had entered.

How do you tell him that there’s nothing to look for when you can’t even find your own voice?

“What the hell is going on?” Danni questioned, her free hand suddenly on the same spot as Dean’s. “I watched her do it! She put it through right here!”

“Sera… Gadreel healed her.” Cas spoke up, but his voice was full of confusion. “All her wounds, everything inside is healed, so why is she dying?”

“What?”  Dean growled.  “She’s not dying!”  He snapped and screamed again. “SAM!” Glancing down at Cas, his eyes narrowed in frustration. “Go wake him up, Cas!”

I felt Cas leave my side, but whether he went to Sam was another story.  My eyes settled on Danni’s, watched the pain in her eyes as she stared at me in confusion. I was content, comfortable right where I was in the arms of this man, and with her holding me. For the first time in a long time, I felt no pain, no worry, no anger.

Danni looked up as Crowley made his way over and with a look of strange concern, but not sorrow, on his face, he reached out and ran a hand down my cheek.

“What are you doing, Love?” He whispered but it wasn’t like I could answer at least not out loud and I pushed the images at him, knowing he would see, knowing he would get it, and a small smirk road up on his cheek as he remembered my earlier comment, request, actually my order. “Done.” Was the only world that came from him and I knew that now he understood why. I let out a sigh, and blinked, something that was hard to come back from. “Don’t go yet.”

Another order, what was with these people? My legs had gone numb, my arms had fallen to my side and it made me wonder. If Gadreel was involved, if Cas needed help, if it took more than just them to do this, who hadn’t I seen yet? What power could cause catastrophic ramifications because so far all I had seen was two angels and a King of Hell and a fat lot of good that one had done.

“Hold on, baby,” Dean whispered, pulling me so much closer as I scanned over Danni’s face, suddenly wondering why there were tears in her eyes when she looked at me, why was she holding my hand? “SAM!” I heard Dean holler in my ear as my eyes went to the figure that approached from the darkness. 

I could see Cas out of the corner of my eyes and he could see the man that came closer, but no one else seemed to notice him. I watched without fear as he knelt down beside me. He looked very familiar, like we had met before and he smiled. His face was very thin and his nose came almost to a point, his hair, the salt and pepper streaked locks were pushed back, as if slicked up and stuck there and he walked with a cane, one that he set down on the floor beside him as he stretched out the black clad arm towards me 

He reminded me of an old-time business man, properly dressed, with a gray tie, a black vest, a high-necked white shirt and a black coat and overcoat.  Where had I seen him before, why did I know him?

“SAM!” Dean screamed again and finally I felt the large hands of Sam cup my face but my eyes didn’t move from the man in front of me.  “Ali, come on, fight, Kid!”

“Ali!” Sam whispered softly, trying to grab my attention but the new arrival reached out his hand and the tips of his fingers touched my forehead.  I felt my lips part at the feeling of floating and I know I smiled, but I could hear Sam behind him, his face against my cheek as he whispered in my ear. “Ali, come on, come back to me.”

It was only moment before I looked up and watched the man’s fingers move away, like ET reaching out to Elliot in reverse and he leaned in close, staring me the eyes as he gave me just a little bit of a smile.

“Now, Alison, listen very closely,” he whispered and that alone drowned out the sound of the noises that surrounded me, and I felt my heart skip. His words soothed everything, any little pain I felt, any heartbreak was suddenly gone and I felt the tear slide down my face.  “Are you listening?” he asked, and all I did was smile.  “This is very important, Alison,” he smiled, “don’t scratch the wall.”

He stood, picked the cane up and slowly turned, swinging it in front of him as he stepped without a care in the world and disappeared into the darkness. I watched him go, and slowly the edge of my sight began to cloud, growing darker like an old -time movie. I could hear the cries over the sound of my slowing heartbeat, and I knew I took a deep breath before slowly releasing it, the light fading into the blackness as I let my eyes close.

_ Don’t scratch the wall! _

**Epilogue**

“Sam!” I whispered as my eyes flew open, but then again, did I really say that?  The next sound I heard was a deeper voice than my own, something close to my ear and I swallowed as I focused on the clock in front of me.  The blurry, red letters read: 8:43.

“Mom,” it came again and I did my best to turn over, blinking the sleep from my eyes. “Hey, Mom.” I focused in on the teenager that hovered over the empty side of the queen-sized bed and finally got enough of my eyesight to see him clearly.  “You awake?”

“M’now, Nick,” I mumbled as I turned over so that I could see him better. “What’s going on?”

“My Jeep won’t start; can I use your car for work?” The blue-eyed young man questioned and I glanced at the clock once more. “I’ll come back up in about an hour with the jump box, Ian said I could grab it and then come back with my car but I’m going to be late if I don’t go.”

“Yeah, keys are down on the hook.” I shrugged.

“Cool, thanks,” he moved towards the door before he looked at me questioningly. “Hey, Mom, who’s Sam?”

I stopped for a moment, maybe I did say the name in my sleep but I just kind of gave him a confused look and shook my head.

“Not sure,” I whispered, but for some reason that response bothered me. “Where’s your brother and sister?”

“In the kitchen, I think they’re making pancakes.”  He laughed and shook his head, knowing full well that it meant there was going to be one hell of a mess to pick up and he was the lucky one headed out the door. “Love you!”

“Love you too.” I replied and watched him book it from the room.

Stretching, I grabbed my sweater from the doorknob, looked at the empty, unmade other half of the bed and rolled my eyes. Following the smell of the coffee brewing, the scent of chocolate chip pancakes, because someone was burning the chocolate, and the sounds of laughter that came from my kitchen, I made my way down the small flight of stairs, hooked a slight left and stepped down to the bottom of the landing before I stopped. 

Something drew me to the living room, to the “Supernatural” wall that was my bookshelves and the fanart that graced the walls, but I could see that everything was just as I thought it would be when I woke up, and exactly where I left it waiting for me to sit down and start right where I left off.

Coming through the living room, I smiled as I turned into the kitchen, saw Ari laughing as she scooped up the gooey pancake from her plate and took a small bite, and Joseph giggled back as he rolled his up and dunked it in the syrup. Almost nine and they were still home?  I took a deep breath, turned to the fridge to get the creamer out and looked at the drawing on the whiteboard. 

There in big black letters was a note that read: Just cause you’re on vacation doesn’t mean wake your mother!

But that wasn’t my handwriting, wasn’t Nick’s either and I shook my head, why didn’t I remember writing that? I closed the fridge and went to move towards the counter when I came face to back with a man hovering over the stove, just to the right of the coffee machine.

He was tall, about six-foot, his disheveled black hair seemed to be all over the place as if he had just woken up and when he turned to me, my favorite mug full of liquid gold, I watched his blue eyes dance as the smile widened across his face.

“Hey, sweetheart, the kids and I were just making breakfast.” He stated, and something about his voice, his tone, even the chipper way he spoke was just off. “Thought I’d get you some coffee before I fed you though, these two are going to be on a great sugar high for when their dad comes to get them.”

I stopped dead, held the coffee cup in my hand and stared at him. The only thing my mind was saying that moment was “What the hell” but there was only one word that came out of my mouth.

“Cas?”


End file.
